I can't sleep and I've been crying and dying a little inside, so I might as well just go do this on my conscience. I tried to approach this with a forgiving, altruistic and new positive nature, but it's been so hard to keep up this facade of the lack thereof worry because my life had seemed to turn completely upside down.

I don't get what I did. Why I deserved it. All I know is that I deserved it. I probably deserved to be called all those terrible things. And yet I can't bring myself to the question of why.

I'm being told I doxed myself and made death threats against myself for attention when I don't see why I would put myself up to it.

mrgerbic and others are sending eachother PMs with bits of my personal information to try and prove that I doxed myself, and they probably amounted and created enough evidence to sow doubt. They plan to make their findings public, plan to make my information public and permanent, and I don't know what else I can do anymore. Evidence doesn't work out right on this server, anything passes for evidence in due truth. Tomorrow I imagine everyone will hate me for something that I never did, everyone will mock me for being something that I'm not.

This post is just going to be seen as a sob post and a chance to incite them.

Not all of my dox was true for sure. I never acknowledged what was true and what was BS, just because that would worsen it. It was better to have invalid information mixed into the truth than it was to tell people "Hey, my address is real but my birthday isn't." In practice, fear that I would just get my dox corrected.

It's actually hard to move on from a dox, because in practicality, I can't change a lot of facts about me nor will the government go along with it. The boundaries between real life and CivCraft have finally been defined and blurred at the same time for me, I guess.

I don't really have much to show for it. I don't really want to show for it to gain respect from people who had it out for me, but they can and will destroy my reputation. I guess if authorities end up figuring it out, at some point I can come back and prove that I wasn't lying but right now, I don't think I can really handle this all anymore.

I'm not going to leave off on a sour note. I really do appreciate you guys. You guys helped me when I needed help, got the dox removed and I won't forget that. You guys are pretty amazing, even people I had hardly ever spoken to spoke on my side.

I'm leaving CivCraft. I'll be transferring all my groups to tfogarty, Tamblers, PointyBagels and ArkenX, who I trust will maintain my things. I'll give half my diamonds to fund greenble10's projects and to Jamaline, and the other half to Bryn City. Its not much though.

Not sure if I'll come back, or if I ever will even be able to. I might be on mumble once in a while, or I'll be somewhere far away.

You win. You win mrgerbic. You win whoever it is that I wronged to deserve this.