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Is anyone actually buying this? (i.imgur.com)

Cilvia_Demo が 投稿

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[–]My_Normal_Account 88 ポイント89 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Fuck no. This is the biggest troll on reddit I've ever seen. I really really hope the last thing he posts is "Staying a few days with family was theraputic. While Jenny was still in a fit of rage about my divorce initiation, I was able to grieve and reset my emotions. It was time to return to my home and my brother, aunt/uncle, and a close friend came with me for protection -- just in case she was still unstable and had a knife or something... I got back to my home around 2pm with my brother Aunt and Uncle. As walked in the front door, we saw the house was demolished. Glass everywhere, pictures thrown, TV smashed, pure rage and destruction throughout. I heard footsteps in the back yard so we walked over there to check it out. I open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur"

[–]Cilvia_Demo[S] 29 ポイント30 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I mean, power to the guy for tricking everyone I just can't believe that he was the guy to do it. There wasn't anything slightly believable if you read more than a few sentences. It makes me want to question everything I read because if that story can fool so many shit everything on here must be a lie.

[–]fscomeau 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You are so right. I read three paragraph and I went, "Yes, this is bullshit."

[–]Hoborrrr 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dude, put spoiler at the top! Some of us haven't finished the book yet!

[–]brberg 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm going to be really sad if this isn't a build-up to a shaggy-dog story. Partly because it would be sad for this to happen, but mostly because I really like shaggy-dog stories.

[–]autoposting_system 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm expecting a Fresh Prince

[–]vedder10 44 ポイント45 ポイント  (4子コメント)

There is zero chance it is real. Ain't no PI providing updates real time and some big dicked rich dude with a prenup providing play by play about hot but broke woman. Hacked her phone...please.

[–]IAmHercules 23 ポイント24 ポイント  (0子コメント)

story where a guy is super awesome and haz mad hakz and a girl is a bitch and cheats, then the guy lawyers up and follows every ridiculously over the top reactionary piece of advice given by /r/relationships in every thread.

He's pandering so hard and people are lapping it up because they want it to be true and haven't thought about how this guy has time to respond to every PM and still engage in this shit.

[–]gigabyte898 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (1子コメント)

This was posted in another thread, but if OP posted a "proof video" and the entirety of reddit got rick rolled I wouldn't even be mad

[–]biddee 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Or if it turned out to be an elaborate tree fiddy story. Would be the best tree fiddy story on the internet for sure.

[–]omgftwbbqsauce 50 ポイント51 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Totally buying it. OP promised to post proof, but then found a legitimate reason not to. What's not to believe?

[–]Cilvia_Demo[S] 36 ポイント37 ポイント  (4子コメント)

I couldn't get through half of it. Probably because I'm jealous I'm not a big dicked, rich, alpha male hacker.

[–]Spleeniator 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Give him some credit, maybe he invented the equipment the super PI is using. That would explain the hacker skills, the wealth and the magic cameras that can zoom in perfectly over huge distances through tinted windows.

Oh, and whatever tech the PI is using to track a car that he is apparently following from ages away (CAUSE ITS NOT LIKE THE FILMS) whilst livestreaming everything with some magic super internet connection in his car or some shit. Oh, Whilst texting minute by minute updates.

In a car.

That he is apparently driving.

The guys a moron. This 100% true story would be more believable if he said he rode with the PI the entire time and was posting using a satellite connection which he can afford with his totally believable salary. But no, instead about a third of reddit has fallen for this bullshit.

[–]Bubblegum_Tate_21 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (1子コメント)

You forgot to mention the part where he casually mentions she might be hiring a hitman to kill him

[–]Cykuta 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Aaaand now I'm going to have to watch Intolerable Cruelty.

"I'm gonna nail your ass!"

[–]Hi_My_Name_Is_Dave 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It is pretty entertaining though.

[–]Jazzspasm 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (0子コメント)

About three lines in smelt a rat. No chance this is real. None.

[–]smithersss3 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (5子コメント)

I can't believe how much reddit is eating this bullshit up

[–]Nate67 28 ポイント29 ポイント  (4子コメント)

I was going to say the same thing, then I thought, "Oh, no, wait. Yes, I can."

It hits every note Reddit would salivate over. It will end with a healthy dose of justice porn, and that will be the final touch on this guy's* masterpiece.

What I truly can't believe is all the "I don't care if it's fake, it's sooooooo entertaining lol" comments. That's more galling to me than halfwits eating it up as if it were real. It's not particularly entertaining or original or moving or clever. It's a rote, paint-by-numbers, "Caught cheating spouse WITH UPDATES" story.

Literally everything about it checks all the boxes for the standard template:

-Awesome OP with wicked awesome sexual abilities plus $$$

-Cheating whore of a wife with no redeeming qualities except that she WICKED HOT, of course.

-Overly detailed play-by-play with nearly omniscient perspective.

-Devoid of emotion and all emotionally significant moments in story are quickly glossed over (those are admittedly harder to write convincingly).

-OP makes halfhearted attempt at reconciliation, only for lying, cheating whore of a wife to LIE and CHEAT and WHORE some more. Really building up the justice porn pay-off and making it clear who the good guy is here.

-The final justice porn money shot: Guy has some sort of iron-clad prenup, of course, and that bitch is going down!

It basically compresses all of the nasty, emotional, confusing mess that comes with dealing with infidelity in a marriage into a neat and tidy, "winner takes all" fight, with the forces of evil vanquished convincingly. There's a whole lot of details about what happened and when, but not a lot of insight into what any of it means.

*Some people suggested that perhaps a woman wrote this based on some of the language, which would be an interesting twist.

[–]HolstenerLiesel 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The only thing that's still missing at this point is women begging our hero for anal sex, which is usually required for front page.

[–]smokewidget 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's a Nicholas Spark novel for neckbeards.

[–]ImSexyAndIdontKnowIt 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You're the god dammed siskel and ebert of r/thathappened posts.

[–]clamsmasher 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

A lot of people enjoy entertainment that's sold as a "true story". I'm sure you've heard of reality television, scripted and edited to be as entertaining as possible. People either know it's fake and dislike it, know it's fake and like the entertainment, or don't know it's fake and love the drama of it.

Hell, pro wrestling is in the same class. It's a scripted show that pretends to be real violence and drama. Most people know that and still enjoy it, it's usually only the children who believe it's real, and adults without critical thinking skills. /r/adviceanimals is the pro wrestling of reddit, and most of the stories elsewhere can be compared to reality tv.

[–]oneposttown 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (7子コメント)

The only thing I can't believe is that you have IE on your task bar. What is wrong with you, bro.

[–]Cilvia_Demo[S] 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Trying to sell this shit laptop. Chrome is open but I didn't bother uninstalling IE cause the people who buy PC's off craigslist are the people that tell you chrome has more viruses.

[–]KokiriEmerald 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (5子コメント)

/r/thatHappened

[–]Cilvia_Demo[S] 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Lol you can't tell me craigslist isn't full of some dumb motherfuckers. People in my area try to sell 50" tube Tvs for $200...

[–]KokiriEmerald -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Just because you still have it installed doesn't mean you can't unpin it from the taskbar

[–]Cilvia_Demo[S] 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Are you happy now?

http://i.imgur.com/oXuG4ru.png

[–]KokiriEmerald 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Very

[–]Cilvia_Demo[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Truu

[–]Elscorz 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm not sure if it's real or not, but I do know that OP will thank me in the next 400 paragraphs for the support, I'm just on pins and needles if he can cope, he says he can but only after convincing the readers. Also this dude's wife loves a grande double shot with heavy on the creamer, but her starbucks drink is tea.

[–]mattlohkamp 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (2子コメント)

This is so poorly written I cannot follow what is supposedly going on. Who are all these people? What is all this stuff that keeps getting brought up? Is this rough for anyone else to read?

[–]nagellak 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This image is just a part of a longer story that's been all over Reddit lately. As most people have seen it by now, I think OP didn't think it necessary to screenshot and post the whole thing.

[–]Cilvia_Demo[S] 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I read a few paragraphs from each "update" but yeah its a little rough.

[–]BigBadBrownBear 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ummm I didn't until I saw it was posted on this sub. You do realize everything here is mod verified right?

[–]rotmoset 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh, was I happy to see this hear. I was thinking I was taking crazy pills with this story blowing up all over reddit. Are people really this gullable?

This is not even hard to prove as made up.

First he writes:

Jenny changed her phone password. I must have been acting a little weird/distant, or she thought it was time to secure her phone since we’ve been so comfortable around each other for the past few years. I tried to open up her Facebook and email, but the passwords to those were changed as well. I decided to open up the phone and reply something stupid and funny in order to embarrass Jenny. So I opened up the iMessage app and went to read their previous conversation to see what was happening, so I could tell a relevant joke.

iMessage is iPhone, ok good. Now we know that.

He then writes:

Jenny has gone out with some “friends” tonight. She thinks she lost her phone. Nope, I stole it before she left so I could try and break into it. I went through a massive hassle to unlock her phone but I finally did it.

Game's up! If she changed her passcode and you don't know it, you're finished. Not even apple can unlock your phone at this stage.

It may be silly to just point at something small and technical like this, but for me, after reading all the (plausable) bullshit this is what settles the deal for me. But hey, who, knows, maybe he's an elite hacker as well.

[–]Imperfectyourenot 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Nope.

[–]riskita11 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I believe Jenny.

[–]lusciouslou 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The only thing I don't believe is that you still have Internet Explorer installed.

[–]MeRighteousSuicide 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Nope. I don't believe it for one second. I did read the entire thing, though. It was so hilarious and unbelievable, yet so many people were hook, line, and sinker for it!

I'm following the story to the end, praying for the troll to show his true colors.

[–]willgameforgold 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Even if it is false, it's a damn fine story.

[–]Jellybean1974 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

'Flat house'

[–]atypicalgamergirl 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Marketing experiment, or Tommy Wiseau. Both, probably.

[–]Dino_RaawR 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

No. But im bored as fuck and I'm tricking myself into thinking it's real just so I have something interesting to read.

[–]siegristrm -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Where is the link to the story? I started something, I have to finish it.

[–]Die-Nacht -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fuck that, someone with patience for bs summarize this for me?