“Microaggressions”, “Trigger Warnings”, and the New Meaning of “Trauma”
When I joined the Marines, I met a man who had survived a helicopter crash during a training exercise. The first time I saw him his head and face were covered in burn scars. A balloon filled with saline, that looked like a dinosaur’s crest, was implanted in his scalp to stretch the skin so hair could grow. Something that looked exactly like the checkered buttstock of an M16A2 was imprinted on one side of his head. He greeted me when I checked in to my unit, and totally ignored the shocked expression I must have had when he approached. He shook my hand, asked a few questions, then left with a friendly “See you later, PFC.” His demeanor left me with the absurd thought, Maybe he doesn’t know how strange he looks.
He had been assigned to my reserve unit while undergoing treatment at a nearby military burn unit. I wound up becoming friends with him later, and eventually worked up the nerve to ask him about the crash. Of course, I quickly followed my question with, “But if you don’t want to talk about it, nevermind. Sorry.”
He brushed off my concerns. “Nah, no problem. The day I can’t talk about it is the day it starts to haunt me.”
He told me about loading up with his platoon in the helicopter that day. He described what it was like to see the ground coming through the window and realize they were about to crash. He talked about grabbing his seat belt release, being knocked unconscious on impact by his rifle butt slamming into his temple, and waking up on the floor with his head on fire. He told me how he crawled toward the exit, in flames, past screaming, burning Marines trapped in their seats. He recounted his memory of shouting that he would come back to help them. He told me how he managed to drag himself over the edge of the helicopter’s ramp and fall into a rice paddy. He told me about other Marines who saw the crash and ran to save him and some others. He talked about all the friends he lost that day, more than a dozen. He talked about how much he missed being an infantryman, and how he had made peace with the fact that he could never be one again.
What struck me was how easily he was able to tell the story. I had never heard of someone making a decision not to let trauma affect their lives. I had a great uncle, still alive then, who had been a Marine in the Korean War. He came back traumatized, took years to get back to normal, and to his dying day never told anyone in the family what he experienced. Even after I became a Marine, he gave me only the barest details of his service. As far as I know he never told his Marine son either. Unlike my friend, my uncle couldn’t talk about his trauma.
I’ve experienced trauma myself. I don’t know how many murder scenes I’ve worked as a police officer. I remember the shock I felt when I walked up to a car after a seemingly minor accident and saw a two year old’s head lying on the floorboard. I stood helplessly outside a burning house as a ninety-two year old woman died inside, while her son screamed hysterically beside me. For years after my time as a soldier in Iraq I’d have a startle response if I unexpectedly saw a flash, like from a camera, in my peripheral vision (it reminded me of flashes from roadside bombs). Soldiers near me were shot, burned or killed by weather in Afghanistan.
My childhood wasn’t rosy either; early one morning when I was eight I heard pounding on our kitchen door, then was terrified to see a family member stumble into the house covered in blood after being attacked by a neighbor. Even today, after thirty-five years, I still sometimes tense up when I hear a knock at the door. When I was ten, my eleven year old best friend committed suicide because of a minor sibling dispute. He wrote a note, left a will, snuck his father’s pistol from a drawer and shot himself. I was severely affected by his death, and ten years later got a copy of his suicide note from the city morgue. After I read it, I finally felt that I could heal from that horrible event.
I’m no stranger to trauma, and I’ve dealt with it by writing and talking about it. I suppose I’ve always defined “trauma” the traditional way: a terrible experience, usually involving significant loss or mortal danger, which left a lasting scar. However, I’ve recently discovered my definition of trauma is wrong. Trauma now seems to be pretty much anything that bothers anyone, in any way, ever. And the worst “trauma” seems to come not from horrible brushes with death like I described above; instead, they’re the result of racism and discrimination.
Over the last year I’ve heard references to “Microagressions” and “Trigger Warnings”. Trigger Warnings tell trauma victims that certain material may “contain disturbing themes that may trigger traumatic memories for sufferers”; it’s a way for them to continue avoiding what bothers them, rather than facing it (and the memories that get triggered often seem to be about discrimination, rather than mortal danger). Microaggressions are minor, seemingly innocuous statements that are actually stereotype-reinforcing trauma, even if the person making the statement meant nothing negative.
Here are two examples of “trauma” from the “Microaggression Project” (http://www.microaggressions.com/):
My dad jokes with my younger sister that he remembers selling Girl Scout Cookies when he was a Girl Scout. She laughs, understanding the fact that since he’s a boy means that he could not have been a Girl Scout. Thanks, Dad. I’m a boy and a formal Girl Scout.
The assumption that Girl Scouts will be girls. That causes trauma.
24, female-bodied, in a relationship – so Facebook shows me ads with babies, wedding dresses, and engagement rings. Change gender on Facebook to male – suddenly I get ads pertaining to things I actually care about.
Facebook thinking a woman might be interested in marriage and children. That causes trauma.
A horrible example of microaggression: asking someone if they’ve been to Europe. Photo credit http://purpmagazine.com/lets-discuss-nu-microaggressions/swag
As one might expect, “Microaggressions” and “Trigger Warnings” are most popular in our universities. In late 2013 A group of UCLA students staged a “sit-in” protest against a professor for – no joke – correcting their papers. These “Graduate Students of Color” began an online petition stating “Students consistently report hostile classroom environments in which the effects of white supremacy, patriarchy, heteronormativity, and other forms of institutionalized oppression have manifested within the department and deride our intellectual capacity, methodological rigor, and ideological legitimacy. Empirical evidence indicates that these structural and interpersonal microaggressions wreak havoc on the psychophysiological health and retention rates of People of Color. The traumatic experiences of GSE&IS students and alumni confirm this reality” (http://www.thepetitionsite.com/931/772/264/ucla-call2action/).
A college professor expecting graduate students to write grammatically correct papers. That causes trauma.
In addition to correcting grammar, the professor insulted the “Graduate Students of Color” by changing “Indigenous” to the proper “indigenous” in their papers, thus reinforcing white colonial oppression of indigenous people. Oh, and he shook a black student’s arm during a discussion. “Making physical contact with a student is inappropriate, [the aggrieved Graduate Student of Color] added, and there are additional implications when an older white man does so with a younger black man” (https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2013/11/25/ucla-grad-students-stage-sit-during-class-protest-what-they-see-racially-hostile).
A white professor gently touching a black student’s arm. That causes trauma.
More trauma-producing microaggression: asking someone about their ethnic background. “Typically, microaggressions are associated with subtle forms of racism, but they do go beyond race. For instance, “You throw like a girl,” is a verbal microaggression, and the action of a White individual clutching his/her bag because a Latino is approaching, is a behavioral microaggression.” From http://lagente.org/2014/01/gentistas-share-experiences-with-microaggressions/
I’ve reviewed these reports of “trauma”, and have reached a conclusion about them. I’m going to make a brief statement summarizing my conclusion. While I mean this in the nicest way possible, I don’t want victims of Microaggressions or supporters of Trigger Warnings to doubt my sincerity.
Fuck your trauma.
Yes, fuck your trauma. My sympathy for your suffering, whether that suffering was real or imaginary, ended when you demanded I change my life to avoid bringing up your bad memories. You don’t seem to have figured this out, but there is no “I must never be reminded of a negative experience” expectation in any culture anywhere on earth.
If your psyche is so fragile you fall apart when someone inadvertently reminds you of “trauma”, especially if that trauma consisted of you overreacting to a self-interpreted racial slur, you need therapy. You belong on a psychiatrist’s couch, not in college dictating what the rest of society can’t do, say or think. Get your own head right before you start trying to run other people’s lives. If you expect everyone around you to cater to your neurosis, forever, you’re what I’d call a “failure at life”. And you’re doomed to perpetual disappointment.
Reason.com
Oh, I should add: fuck my trauma too. I must be old-fashioned, but I always thought coming to terms with pain was part of growing up. I’ve never expected anyone to not knock on my door because it reminds me of that terrifying morning decades ago. I’ve never blown up at anyone for startling me with a camera flash (I’ve never even mentioned it to anyone who did). I’ve never expected anyone to not talk about Iraq or Afghanistan around me, even though some memories still haunt me. I don’t need trigger warnings because a book might remind me of a murder victim I’ve seen.
And before anyone says it; being Hispanic doesn’t make me any more sympathetic to people who experience nonexistent, discriminatory “trauma”. Discrimination didn’t break me (or my parents, or grandparents). I’ve been discriminated against by whites for being Hispanic. I’ve been threatened by blacks for being white. I’ve been insulted by Hispanics for not being Hispanic enough. Big deal. None of that stopped me from doing anything I wanted to do. It wasn’t “trauma”. It was life.
Generations of Americans experienced actual trauma. Our greatest generation survived the Depression, then fought the worst war in humanity’s history, then built the United States into the most successful nation that has ever existed. They didn’t accomplish any of that by being crystal eggshells that would break at the slightest provocation, they didn’t demand society change to protect their tender feelings. They simply dealt with the hardships of their past and moved on. Even my great uncle, the Korea Marine, never expected us to tiptoe around him. He wouldn’t talk about his experience, but he didn’t order us not to.
So again, fuck your trauma. If your past bothers you that much, get help. I honestly hope you come to terms with it. I hope you manage to move forward. I won’t say anything meant to dredge up bad memories, and don’t think anyone should intentionally try to harm your feelings.
But nobody, nobody, should censor themselves to protect you from your pathological, and pathologically stupid, sensitivities.
Chris Hernandez is a 20 year police officer, former Marine and currently serving National Guard soldier with over 25 years of military service. He is a combat veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan and also served 18 months as a United Nations police officer in Kosovo. He writes for BreachBangClear.com and Iron Mike magazine and has published two military fiction novels, Proof of Our Resolve and Line in the Valley, through Tactical16 Publishing. He can be reached at chris_hernandez_author@yahoo.com or on his Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/ProofofOurResolve).
Filed under: Writing | 66 Comments
Tags: general stupidity, microaggressions, trigger warnings, veteran authors
Interesting piece. The guy you lead off with is impressive. As for the “triggering” phenomenon, which I have read about here & there in the last year or so, personally I’m not so much outraged as curious. Nobody comes out of the womb saying, “When I grow up, I wanna be presumptuous and entitled.” So I assume the kids who join this social movement to do with “microagressions” and “triggering” etc. are trying to do or express something that matters to them. It just comes out oddly & in some ways insultingly. My guess is, what they suffer from isn’t trauma but alienation or lack of engagement in their lives. In a society where disconnection is common, I think it’s easy for young people to get hooked by odd ideas in an attempt to compensate.
This reminds me of an article I read last month by a young, left-leaning activist at McGill University, up in Canada. Her piece is about how over time, she stopped believing in the more extreme expressions of outrage common in her circle. It’s a serious piece but here & there rather dry – e.g.: “Consider otherkin, people who believe they are literally animals or magical creatures and who use the concepts and language of anti-oppressive politics to talk about themselves. Nobody is literally a honeybee or a dragon. We have to assess claims about oppression based on more than just what people say about themselves.”
Here’s the link if you’re curious –
http://www.mcgilldaily.com/2014/11/everything-problematic/
Thanks Wholesight. I read that article and found myself agreeing with most of it. The author seems to have overreacted to the real discrimination she experienced as a child, went full radical, then just grew up. I really like the quote you posted here, as it shows one of what I see as the main issue with alleged oppression: claims of oppression seem to always be accepted as truth, no matter how ridiculous, and those who question them are demonized as oppressors. There’s not much critical analysis when someone claims to be oppressed.
I grew up very differently than the college students embracing microaggression and trigger warnings, and for the life of me can’t comprehend what makes them so attractive.
I think what makes the microaggression culture so attractive is that it’s a way for children (mental or physical) to exert control over others. If you can find some way in which someone else is “micro-aggressing” against you, you can then demand that other person change his or her (trigger warning: the assumption that there are only two sexes) behavior.
Chris, you may remember me posting from time to time about how “I’m a liberal with reservations,” you know, I’m a liberal but I believe in gun rights, I’m a liberal but I don’t believe in that insane bullshit, etc.
I’m done with that. I’m done with that label. I don’t know what the Hell to call myself now but I don’t want to associate myself with that crowd anymore. It’s embarrassing.
If it makes you feel better, I never considered you to really be liberal. :)
Actually, I think I’ve got quite a bit in common with you. Moderate, interested in actual facts rather than rhetorical hyperbole, disgusted by extremists on both sides. Maybe we need to invent a name for ourselves.
Libertarian?
I’m in the same boat with both of you, but I refuse to give my ideology a name. Names and labels allow people to pigeonhole you.
Maybe you are a classical liberal, and just do not know it.
Well said. I totally agree with you and I thank you for making me laugh today. It really does all get rather pathetic sometimes and we need more people willing to speak up. Micro-aggression indeed, the ultimate first world problem. If that is the biggest problem you have, life must be rather good, or else there may just be something seriously wrong with those who have to go looking for offense under a microscope. Regardless, it’s a rather pathetic attempt to monitor and regulate speech and as such, needs to be discarded.
Insanity,
Thanks and that’s a good way to put it. First world problems. I doubt anyone really facing terrible discrimination is worried about microaggressions.
Bravo Zulu sir!
Thanks Randy. Good to see you again. :)
Brilliant. Thank you.
Thank you, I appreciate that.
Good article, now maybe we can all realize how PTSD isn’t real either.
That’s a non-sequitur.
Okay, I have more time now. Just to clarify, I don’t dispute PTSD’s existence. I understand that smart people do dispute it, and it was first coined by an antiwar psychiatrist. However, other people I respect do agree that it exists. I definitely believe it’s being way overdiagnosed and it’s considered a meal ticket by far too many people, but I personally wouldn’t argue that it’s not real.
Today I read about microaggressions and trigger warnings. Today, I wept for humanity. You did this to me. I am now traumatized by this knowledge. I hope you’re happy, you monster. ;)
All terribly awful jokes aside I largely agree with you (and entirely with the general stop being pussies sentiment). Trauma must be dealt with, or it will be your master for the rest of your life. Trauma is not “mean words”.
I can however see how microaggressions might be something worth talking about.(not with the people in your examples though. Jeez. Just no) By this I don’t mean “He said heavy crate, and due to my self image problems about weight I must now weep for a week”. When one is *constantly* bombarded with small pieces of disrespect and tiny insults, by everyone, that can definitely hurt. If the people doing that don’t even notice it may be worse. That would have to be on an *entirely* different scale than one teacher though. WAY different.
Trigger warnings are dumb and trying to force others not to speak about certain things because you don’t like that is misguided at best, fascist at worst.
Couple thing about Trauma as an aside: Trauma might mean a couple of different things. (Just like the word theory) Colloquially your definition is spot on. The more wide ranging definition might be a result of laypeople reading psychology literature and then running with that. Trauma in psychology might be defined differently. Take medicine as an example “Physical Trauma” is defined as any physical injury however slight. When you hear “He suffered trauma” you assume its somebody with life threatening injuries, not a bruise.
So it is entirely possible that a bunch of psychological hypochondriacs read about something and now think they suffered on an equal scale to somebody that actually lost something, because the are whiny morons.
Also scientific trauma (the more wide ranging definition) has to be very inclusive due to the fact that different people, different minds. Just like PTSD exists, some people have it and a lot don’t, even though they went through the same. The concept of resilience is relevant: (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_resilience) and with the fairly tame lives many people lead they don’t get to build much of that.
FACT: I am a layperson. Everything i say is to be taken with a grain of salt. (seriously im a guy on the internet. Trust nothing I write)
> When one is *constantly* bombarded with small pieces of disrespect and tiny insults, by everyone, that can definitely hurt.
Welcome to life. EVERYONE is constantly bombarded with “small pieces of disrespect and tiny insults” However, you’re only hurt if you choose to be.
All this nonsense came about because of the lack of actual aggression and racism in the lives of many people of color. Some faced a lot of it, but those that made it to college, not as much. So microagressions were developed by ethnic and gender studies to bring them back into the fold.
Thanks Streit. I agree that constant small insults can hurt, but we already have a name for those: they’re small insults. I think by enshrining them as “microaggressions” we impart far more power to them than they would have ever had on their own.
I also think you’re right about psychological hypochondriacs running rampant about how they’re so horribly traumatized. When I looked up trigger warnings on Wikipedia, I saw that at least some psychiatrists think they encourage the exact opposite of what most trauma victims needs to do (come to terms with what traumatized them).
Microaggressions are a fancy word for the backseat complaint of “Mom, he’s breathing on me!”
Nice essay. I couldn’t agree more. I’ll be checking this blog again.
Thanks Mac, looking forward to seeing you here again.
Well said, Sir, well said.
Thanks Roy, I appreciate that.
Hey Chris, long time reader, of both your blog, and BreachBangClear, I really dig your articles and essays. This one (like your others) is on point and I can’t wait to read what comes next.
-Zach
Thanks Zach. By the way, you look like you’re having a hell of a good time in your profile picture. :)
Great post! I agree that people are always looking for new and inventive ways to be offended.
I don’t know if the trigger warning and microagression occurences are as pervasive to me as they may seem to you. I have heard trigger warnings only where they would seem appropriate. For instance, a radio show I listen to that is about to describe a rape or case of severe child abuse may give a trigger warning. Maybe I’m not paying attention, but I have never heard a trigger warning used in any other way. And today is the first time I have ever heard the term microagression – although the concept the term describes is certainly familiar to me.
One final word…you say “our universities” and go on to cite the goings-on at UCLA. I have worked on a university campus for 13 years and can assure you with 100% certainty that UCLA is an outlier and is most definitely not representative of what occurs on campuses elsewhere.
Joyce,
You’re the second person who works at a University who’s told me they’ve never heard of these problems on campus. I’m encouraged by that, but these concepts (along with “white privilege”), seem to be most pervasive at colleges. Last month a Georgetown University student wrote an essay saying he’s not angry at the two young men who robbed him at gunpoint, because his white privilege means he deserved it (my interpretation). I know those concepts aren’t accepted everywhere, like at Texas A&M. But I’ve read and heard references to these concepts many times, and they’re almost always associated with colleges and college students. So I’m happy to hear they’re not accepted everywhere, but our university and college systems seem to be their center of gravity.
Thanks for your insight, and I hope to see you here again.
I like your blog. It’s not the type I usually read, but I like to learn. I also appreciate the logical and reasoned approach you take in your entries.
Joyce, you complete me. :)
In all seriousness, I really appreciate when someone tells me they like my blog even if they don’t agree with what I say or it’s not their usual subject matter. Thanks for that.
That’s interesting because I have been reading a great deal about this subject on the Internet. I also read about the Georgetown student who was mugged and stories about students at Ivy League schools who were told to “check their [white/male/other]privilege.” So the question occurred to me: who is making a big deal about this? The MSM which publishes these kinds of articles? If so, what is the objective? To make this kinds of Liberal group think go mainstream? Or to make this kind of thing ridiculous? These are not mutually exclusive options. It’s entirely possible that the people in the press believe that this new form of psychobabble is legitimate. But, not realizing how far removed they are from the mainstream, they end up making it – and its practitioners in academia – ridiculous. One can only hope.
Well, a Google News search shows me some articles on the subject, some of which are in what one might call the “MSM”, and some of which are outside of the “MSM”. I don’t think I can really speculate on the intent of those who report on the matter, except to say that those columns and articles outisde of the so-called mainstream are pointing at these practices and saying, “Look how ridiculous this is.” I would even go so far as to speculate that there are more articles of that variety than there are giving validation to the concept, although that is only my speculation.
You mention Ivy League institutions. There are a few thousand institutions of higher learning outside of the EIGHT Ivy League institutions, and when some of the higher profile institutions somehow become the representative for the rest of us, my eye starts to twitch. It brings to mind the column I read in which the writer described higher ed institutions as being awash with cash and went on to describe the new lavish student living accommodations that had just been built by Princeton. Princeton! Of course they are awash with cash. They are Princeton.
Amen, brother, AMEN!
Thanks Buddy. :)
“But nobody, nobody, should censor themselves to protect you from your pathological, and pathologically stupid, sensitivities.”
I REALLY like that.
MACVS2
I appreciate that MACV, thank you.
This should be required reading for every incoming freshman at every college. Unfortunately, it is more likely they will be taught to be victims. They will be taught that victim status brings power and benefits. They will be taught they can silence any opponent with an accusation of bigotry. They will be taught that victims must be compensated for their trauma.
What they won’t learn is that victims do not achieve anything on their own. Victims will always be dependent on the charity of others. A perpetual victim is a slave. Those who succeed in life are the ones who ignore their detractors and just go about making the best of every opportunity.
RE: Modern ‘Trauma’ & Such
Much of this is caused by the way these ‘kids’ were educated in the K-12 range.
So bloated on high self-esteem, they believe they can do anything. And when they can’t do what they want, they pout and whine and think they can get what they want that way. Why? Because if they pouted and whined and had temper tantrums in public school, they got what they wanted.
Now, as so-called ‘adults’, they use the techniques they were ‘educated’ to used as children.
When they encounter the World of the Real, they’re in for a rude surprise. They’ll learn—the hard way—that the World of the Real doesn’t give a rat’s hinney about their self-esteem.
And, I suspect, this situation also contributes to the high suicide rates in the ground-gaining combat arms of the US Military.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
[Life is tough. It’s tougher if you’re stupid.]
Stupid, adj., Ignorant and proud of it.
ADDENDUM: Trauma as Opposed to ‘Uncomfortable’
George Bernard Shaw put it properly.
A modern liberal thinks they are moral when they are only uncomfortable.
Make that…..
A modern liberal thinks they are traumatized when they are only ‘uncomfortable’
Haven’t had my morning coffee yet….. ;-)
There’s too much blood in my caffeine system.
*Incoming!* Instalanche for you. :) Great essay.
Expecting others to subsume their harmless expressions of their being is in itself oppressive and purposely so. It is not different than Islamist who insist all sorts of right-to-not-be-offended sensibilities. It is a power-grab of the indoctrinated powerless. You cannot convince them of their worth or stature or equality because they derive a sense of power from their victimization. It’s everywhere.
Very nice article. Microagressions are nothing more than a rebranding of the old ‘creating a hostile atmosphere’ arguments where the offense was never actually pinned down. Being witness to these arguments at college, I deliberately set out to innoculate my children against them. One tool I used was giving them books about military valor (We Die Alone, Lone Survivor).
Oh, and if anyone accuses you of a microaggression, just reply “I microapologize (for any microoffense you may have microsuffered)”
Excellent essay, sir. I’m tempted to post it on my company’s HR website but that might be termed a hostile act. It boils down to the question of whether or not we retain the capacity to be a self governing people, and if not, if we descend into the abyss of dependency, cowardice, and eventually submission. Something about sheep,wolves and shepherds.
I read about this silliness all the time but have so far not encountered it.
On the other hand, I am a civilian mariner with the US Navy’s Military Sealift Command. I expect that we have bigger and better things to occupy ourselves with. Further, I expect you’ll find a similar state of affairs in other physically demanding and hazardous occupations such as logging, commercial fishing, or working the oil fields to name just a few.
One commentor called “microaggressions” a First World problem. I’d refine that further – it’s a problem for the privileged of the FIrst World. If a student at a prestigious high priced university really wants to claim the mantle of aggrieved victimhood, then they’re looking at their life through the wrong end of a telescope.
and I am committing to memory your line, “if it bothers you that much you should seek help” for future use. your picture lists you a 20 yrs old. Huh?
sorry I misread caption
Thanks Chris, I needed that! So does the rest of the country.
I wasn’t going to post anything, until I saw this:
Branded bigots at the age of THREE: How thousands of children are being blacklisted by schools for using innocuous playground taunts such as ‘girl’ and ‘fat bucket of KFC’
It’s an article in the Daily Mail, and no elaboration is necessary.
I for one refuse to refer to these imagined insults as microagressions. I’d rather refer to their reaction as macrostupidities.
Instalanch! Congratulations.
I must not know the right people. I do not know anyone who had a perfect life. But most of them deal with and go on. What is the alternative? Thank you for this article. you gave the best advice that many need to hear. I told my children it is not what happens to you, it is how you deal with what happens to you that makes the difference. They now tell their children that same thing.
Excellent article. First time visit, but I’ll be coming back.
Congratulations on your Instalaunch, it’s brought you at least one new reader. :-) More will follow, no doubt to enjoy your clear thinking and writing.
First time reader. Enjoyed the article. Good refute of this whole mamby pamby don’t offend me mentality. I’m putting your blog in my RSS aggregator so I can follow your posts.
Bravo and well said. When the difficulty of living in a world that is not All About You becomes so pervasive that ones main daily activity is tracking everything that could be construed to offend (after much mental gymnastics to find the offense) than we are just lost as a culture. Real hardship, or a life even without hardhsip that is dedicated to doing the best you can and thinking that every comment, cranky remark or ill statement by an umannered person is not enough to ruin your day let alone your life might be a better reaction than the current victimology being encouraged everywhere. I live in NYC where the new offense is manspreading (taking up too much room on a subway or bus by spreading your legs, attributed to me) this kind of nonsense is everywhere.
Bravo and well said, yourself, Sarah. I work with younger people who seem preoccupied with looking for offense. It must simply exhaust them. btw: I live/work in Chicago where manspreading is rampant on the trains, buses, etc. I hate it. And I am tired of asking for people to move. But when I think it is intentionally directed at me, instead of excusing myself and sitting down, (or just moving on because I don’t feel like making the effort) it will be time to hang it up.
I really enjoyed your essay. It made me think about a friend. I race bicycles as a hobby and there is a guy, Joe, who I compete with who is quite amazing. About ten years ago he was involved in a construction accident which served his arm and destroyed his kneecap. He was told he would probably never walk again. Long story, shortened, he is a gold medalist in the Paralympics, and a Multi medalist in many championship events including the able bodied ones. Everyone treads lightly around the guy and try’s to be sensitive to his handicap. So imaging my surprise when last year at the track, he had a minor crash and I asked him “what happened”? He was rather frank. “Well I went into turn four and I forgot I only had one arm”. We both laughed and moved on. We all need to laugh and move on more. I’m no big Taylor Swift fan but she was so right to advise “Shake it off”.
“Generations of Americans experienced actual trauma.”
The others are in need of attention, so they require victim-hood that will garner them the attention they seek.
I loved this essay. As a woman, and as someone who wishes fellow members of her sex well, I can’t fathom how women are rewarded for being weak. Some people seem to have substituted the wonderful “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger,” with “What doesn’t kill me makes me pitiable and weak.” Personally, I want to be around people I admire rather than people I pity. I echo the sentiment, “F— your trauma.”
Those who lived through the sixties will recall those years as the first time that we began to enshrine the nation’s youth as givers of simple wisdom. The fact that anything can be justified if it’s “for the children” has only encouraged that notion and empowered these brittle little personalities. I’m reminded of a great quote from the fine author Cheryl Strayed: “you’re not entitled to the cards you feel you should have been dealt. You’re obligated to play hell out of the hand that you hold.”
If you haven’t read it, take a look at the book “White Guilt: How Blacks and Whites Together Destroyed the Promise of the Civil Rights Era” by Shelby Steele. He discusses the basis of this phenomenon. The issue is that Progressive morality is determined in terms of oppressor and opppressed, and essentially nothing else. Anything an person who is oppressed does — lie, cheat, steal, murder — is justified, at least in part, by being oppressed. Conversely, anything an oppressor does — no matter how noble — is wrong by virtue of being an oppressor. Thus, salvation comes only by either being oppressed, identifying with the oppressed, or open self-hatred as a member of an oppressing group.
The result of this is a frantic need to maintain the status of oppressed. If one cannot cling to one of the more traditional signs of being oppressed or victimized, then it is necessary to either lie about it (as is the case with the recent false accusations of rape and the faux racial threats that keep happening on campuses), or elevate trivial things to make them into horrible oppressive acts. Only then can one achieve the moral summit of Progressive sainthoot.
This is my first visit to your blog. It won’t be my last. This was a wonderful essay and I intend to bring the gist of this up to my team at work (psychiatric treatment program). The trauma that many of my colleagues look for in our patients is often comparable to discomfort blown out of proportion. I am so weary of validating everyone’s misfortune as trauma. Jeez, there is trauma and there is having a bad day. Thank you.