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How Is Polyfidelity Not Monogamy? (self.polyamory)

girlaboutoaktownearnest contrarian slut が 投稿

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[–]code-slothdapper Domme of Fargo 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (13子コメント)

Sometimes three people get together and agree not to fuck other people and we call that polyamory why?

Because it's polyamorous in that there are multiple people involved with each other. Seems pretty simple.

I don't see it as hypocritical at all. Closing up the relationships means you don't have to deal with the hassles of dating (which frees up a lot of scheduling) and everyone agrees that they're currently content with who they're already with. Same reason folks do monogamy - they agree to it and they're content with that person.

[–]RAGEMACHINEx 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Closing up the relationships means you don't have to deal with the hassles of dating (which frees up a lot of scheduling) and everyone agrees that they're currently content with who they're already with.

I'm able to not date others without asking my partners to not seek other partners. There is no reason you need to ask that of someone. So that's basically an excuse. What happens if they aren't content later down the road? Most polyfi people I see pretty much tells the other person "deal with it or leave" that's not healthy nor cool.

[–]code-slothdapper Domme of Fargo 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

What happens if they aren't content later down the road?

They'd probably have to reevaluate the situation as a group and potentially make changes to it.

This isn't really a case of you asking someone to close up out of the blue. Everyone is on board with it to make it successful.

"Deal with it or leave" can happen between mono and poly people too for a variety of reasons.

Edit: Damn commas.

[–]girlaboutoaktownearnest contrarian slut[S] -3 ポイント-2 ポイント  (10子コメント)

but poly people say that restricting yourself and not allowing relationships to grow "organically" is "mono-thinking" and having rules is "couple privilege" .

The same benefits you apply to polyfidelity apply to monogamy. Everyone's content with who they're with. But if mono pepole do it, or god forbid, a couple seeking a unicorn - want that, it's bad. Get over your insecurities and learn some communication! But the minute the polyfi label is slapped on it's a model for polyamory, even if the triad or v in question actually doesn't have to deal with ongoing issues around dating others, or jealousy. Hell, they may have a whole set of the dreaded "rules" in place but it's OK because we're calling it poly even if it only involves 3 people who aren't allowed to be with others! That's not a rule btw! We're poly!

[–]code-slothdapper Domme of Fargo 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (8子コメント)

I think you're generalizing a bit. I've never seen anyone say that monogamy is bad or that monogamous people need to "get over [their] insecurities and learn some communication".

but poly people say that restricting yourself and not allowing relationships to grow "organically" is "mono-thinking" and having rules is "couple privilege" .

Can you provide an example of this? I haven't seen it. I know that "couple privilege" is mentioned with regard to people being unicorn-hunters and trying to fit a person into a pre-planned triad, but unicorn-hunting is a poor idea for other reasons as well.

Hell, they may have a whole set of the dreaded "rules" in place but it's OK because we're calling it poly even if it only involves 3 people who aren't allowed to be with others! That's not a rule btw! We're poly!

You can have rules and be in a polyamorous relationship. So... I don't get what you're trying to say here.