[electronic dance music]
♪
- JUST FOLLOW MY LEAD.I KNOW HOW TO TALK TO HUNKS.
HEY, CHAD.
HEY. HEY, CHAD.
CHAD, CHAD,CHAD, CHAD, CHAD
CHAD-CHAD-CHAD-CHAD-CHAD-CHAD--
CHAD-CHAD-CHAD-CHAD--- OH, MY GOD.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
- WHAT DO YOU SAY WE, LIKE,
GO TO THE BALL PITAT THE FUN PALACE,
AND I'LL, LIKE, THINKI'M GRABBING A PLASTIC BALL,
BUT IT WILL BE, LIKE,YOUR FLESHY BALL,
AND I'LL BE LIKE, "OH, NO!"
BUT YOU'LL LIKE IT,AND BE LIKE--
- NO.
BETH, YOU ARE A BONER TERRORIST.
YOU ARE THE OSAMA BONE-LADENOF BONER TERRORISTS.
- YOUR LOSS, CHAD.
CALL ME WHEN YOU WANTA REAL WOMAN.
SERIOUSLY, CALL ME.I'LL BE WAITING.
- HE'S A LOSER ANYWAY.- YOU'RE A LOSER.
YOU TOTALLY COCK-BLOCKEDMY GAME, YOU BITCH.
- I'M SORRY.
- OH, MY GOD, OF COURSE.
IT'S SO OBVIOUS NOW.
- WE'RE GONNA HAVESO MANY BONERS.
- LIKE, A MILLION BONERS.
- CAN I HELP YOU GIRLSWITH ANYTHING?
- UM, YEAH.
WHICH ONE OF THESEGIVES THE MOST BONERS?
- WELL, I'M NOT SURE THIS LINEWILL HAVE YOUR,
UM, SIZE.
HAVE YOU GIRLSTHOUGHT OF SHOPPING
AT THE PLUMP AND PLENTIFUL?
- HAVE YOU EVERTHOUGHT OF SHOPPING AT THE, UM,
I'LL F-ING KILL YOU STORE?!
I'M A REAL WOMAN!
NOW, SHOW MEWHERE THE CHANGING ROOMS ARE.
[grunts]
WHAT THE "F."
IT'S LIKE THESEARE MEANT FOR SKELETOR.
- UGH, THIS IS GONNA BETHE WORST SHOPPING MONTAGE EVER.
[dance music]
- ♪ YOU GOT YOURITTY BITTY THONG ♪
♪ AND YOUR HIGH HEELS ARE ON
♪ YOU'RE SEXY AND YOU KNOW IT
♪ GOT JUNK IN THE TRUNK,AND YOU WANT TO SHOW IT ♪
♪ HEY, LITTLE DIDDLE DIDDLE
♪ LITTLE WIGGLE'ROUND THE MIDDLE ♪
♪ AND YOU NEED A LITTLE MORESO YOU WIGGLE WHEN YOU GIGGLE ♪
[music slows]
- HEY, BETH, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- I THINK WE'RE READYTO MAKE SOME BONERS HAPPEN.
[bell rings]
HEY, CHAD.
YOU NOTICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT,
LIKE, I DON'T KNOW,MAYBE SEXIER?
- BETH,FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME...
[elastic creaking]
OW!
- OH, NO!CHAD, MY LOVE, ARE YOU OKAY?
- GET AWAY FROM ME!
- NO, BUT CHAD, I JUSTWANTED TO GIVE YOU BONERS.
[metallic slice]
I CALL THE BOTTOM HALF.