I still feed the metaphorical dog in our relationship, but it's just... more rare and I'm not as sexual as I used to be. It's complicated. We probably have sex every three weeks to a month now, which is still a struggle for me, but I know it's important.

It's also become hard because every time we do, he tries to push boundaries that I've clarified I want to keep up, and then it feels like he's "settling" for what I'm giving him and it doesn't feel intimate or loving. I dread that if I say yes, I'll not be that into it, and I'll still have to say "no", just to a different thing further down the line.