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The Margherita pizza. (youtu.be)

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[–]lateral_us 453 ポイント454 ポイント  (99子コメント)

I'm going to be a dick here but the difference between a pizza made at a regular pizza place and an "artisan" or "authentic" or gourmet pizza is that the second kind is made half assed. Seriously, the cheese slice sizes are all over the place and their placement is shit. I feel bad for the poor bastard who gets the quarter with no fucking cheese. And then there's the crust. You will always have crust, you dont need to leave an inch thick ring of pizza unsauced and uncheesed. If you're doing that it should be brushed with olive or garlic oil otherwise it will be hard as a rock while the dough is still doughy. Its a cheap trick to save money. Oh and the basil part was ridiculous. I'm inclined to believe slapping the basil is more to distract from the fact that he's just throwing whole leaves on the pizza than for flavor. I don't know who's dumber, the person who made this video or the people who go for this kind of thing. All you have to do is make it look like shit and people will eat it up. Maybe it feels more personal because it doesnt look like a machine made it? I'm tired of shit passing for good because its quirky or random, and thats exactly what this is, just like you can sell a regular pair of jeans for 40 bucks, but if you 'distress' it, now its worth double.

[–]nucky6 86 ポイント87 ポイント  (9子コメント)

heres a man i will stand behind

[–]Itsalwaystheblock 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (2子コメント)

This is how queues are formed

[–]thecrazysloth 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Or orgies.

[–]ImurderREALITY 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Or-gies.

[–]bootselectric 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Just wait 'til the New Yorkers start chiming in...

[–]drunkarder 31 ポイント32 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Pizza is serious business. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrqSizC-T-4

[–]bootselectric 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Exactly what i was thinking of, haha

[–]iWriteBadPoems -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

New Yorker here. I stand behind this man. Margherita slices are crazy tasty.

[–]xanatos451 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Unless he's had a lot of cheese, then I will still stand with him, but upwind.

[–]APDiscountDaycare 30 ポイント31 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Not all artisan pizza is like this. Here is a Margherita pizza from a restaurant by me. Notice the cheese distribution difference. The chef in the video just sucks.

[–]Peruzzy 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I want that thing in and all over my body

[–]Ralanost 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Ok, that looks fucking delicious. Unlike the garbage in the video.

[–]StartSelect 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (3子コメント)

The cheese and stuff wasn't spread a great deal in OPs video but I wouldn't say it was garbage. It looked fucking delicious

[–]Ralanost -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I enjoy pizza mostly for the bread and cheese. Not really a fan of grease, oil or tomato sauce. It's ok if they are there, but they aren't why I eat pizza.

[–]StartSelect 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Without tomato sauce it isn't really a pizza. It's just cheese crust. You realise that your enjoyment of pizza comes from all of the pizzas proponents right? And I'v never heard of a pizza with grease. Olive oil is fine as it compliments the tomato and basil.

they aren't why I eat pizza

Why do you eat pizza? I eat pizza because I like it and I'm fucking hungry. What other reasons are there?

[–]GermanHammer 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

He's just on board the hate train and there's no getting off now.

[–]DRIZZLEDUNKS 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you're worried about the cheese distribution your dough probably needs some work. The reason NY pizza is hailed as the best is not because you get cheese in every bite, it's because the dough/crust is fucking delicious.

[–]Frankeh 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I agree with some of your points, and disagree with others.

The cheese placement is shit and the basil is ridiculous, but the crust point you made could not be more wrong.

If the bread is made correctly, the crust is fine on its own. It's like biting in a great bread roll or bread stick. Plus there's usually olive oil on the table for dipping.

Also, the sauce is where a lot of the flavour will be. Often cheese will be added into the sauce anyway..

[–]wadonka 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Came here to comment that I'd be pissed if I got a slice with no f*ing cheese cubes!

[–]JohnCavil 46 ポイント47 ポイント  (25子コメント)

I thought this was a joke at first. I get the "authentic" pizza but this was just taking it way too far. He doesn't distribute the tomato. He puts 6 giant cubes of cheese on there at random, and then puts 5 enormous leaves of basil on, with no thought given to even distribution. Then he drenches it in olive oil twice....

Not every pizza has to be some completely homogenous cheese extravanza from Pizza Hut, but this just showed a complete lack of effort. I mean, what would possible be wrong with cutting the cheese into smaller pieces and making sure that every bite had a piece?

It would be like making a sandwich and you just put one big slab of mayo in the middle and that's it, like what the fuck?

[–]Badong11 54 ポイント55 ポイント  (16子コメント)

This is mozarella cheese. If you cut in tiny pieces the whole point of it is lost: the texture.

It's nice biting in a big chunk of mozarella every few bites. The flavour of the pizza comes from the sauce, spices and oil anyways.

I think you guys complaining need to eat a traditional pizza exactly like this first before you talk about how shit it is. Because it's actually really good. Just different to the pizzas you're used to.

[–]Bradradad 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

People are complaining that you would be lucky to get just one chunk of cheese per slice with his shitty mozzarella distribution. And there was a slice with no cheese at all...

[–]JohnCavil 26 ポイント27 ポイント  (4子コメント)

I've been to Italy many times and tasted authentic pizzas. Just because it's authentic does not make it immune to criticism. He can easily put more cheese on the pizza. or cut a few of the pieces up, that doesn't make a difference. He can also cut the basil up, nobody can convince me that an entire leaf of basil somehow tastes different than a small slice of it.

Sure some people may prefer pizza where it's 50% crust, 30% tomato, 10% basil and 10% cheese and then drenched in oil, but I really don't. To me the cheese is one of the most important parts of a pizza, and every bite needs to have it.

I really love Italian food, but olive oil is their butter. Like how many Americans put extreme amounts of butter on everything, Italians/Greeks put ridiculous amounts of olive oil on everything. I like butter and I like olive oil, but there is no need to slather everything in it.

[–]Tom2Die 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Your criticisms are fair, but having had a pizza made like the one in the video I'd have to say I agree with /u/Badong11's comment. It's a personal preference sort of thing. I'd even say the same about the whole leaves of basil. Having basil and cheese every bite is great -- delicious even -- but I personally like having just a fat leaf of basil in my mouth, then a fat chunk of mozza.

[–]JohnCavil 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Totally get that other people might like it. I do sense this kind of snobbery over this being the "right" pizza, and the correct kind of cheese and so on, as if this is somehow better than say a Chicago style deep pan. I've seen this happen a lot when people take food to the extreme, like when you see those fancy burgers with 17 different spices and truffles and all that, it's just taking it way too far in my opinion.

To an outsider it can sometimes seem like doing things that make no sense and going against what is usually desired is considered good, you know? Even distribution, sauce covering the whole pizza, slicing of basil etc. These are all good things for most people, and sometimes it can seem like they refuse to do that just for the sake of being different.

But hey, i'm sure some people like those things, and they're not inherently worse than the more modern way of doing it, as long as they dont claim some sort of moral pizza high ground it's all good.

[–]Tom2Die 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh, no, you're right about all that indeed! I guess the argument in favor of pizza like this is that the more homogeneous the toppings the less varied the texture will be. A lot of "flavor" in food actually comes from texture, so this is relevant.

Side note: Chicago pizza is best pizza. No argument.

[–]RedxEyez -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

And then a fat dick too, right?

[–]stewmeat 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

How can you bite into a chunk when there isn't one there. There is a complete slice of pizza with zero cheese. That's bullshit.

[–]large-farva 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I spent two months in Firenze for work, even the street corner pizza was better than this "chef's"

[–]makis 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is mozarella cheese. If you cut in tiny pieces the whole point of it is lost: the texture.

as an italian who's been doing and eating pizza since he was a little kid, this is false.
this is how you cut mozzarella before putting it on top of pizza:

http://blog.giallozafferano.it/ricettagourmet/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/IMG_20141016_103917-e1413614330491.jpg

[–]4275456453 -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (2子コメント)

The texture of the cheese? It's melted cheese. I could understand if it was uncooked.

[–]Badong11 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Have you never eaten fresh mozarella??? Its texture is amazing ESPECIALLY when cooked.

[–]catherinecc -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Probably not. They probably have no idea that dough isn't supposed to taste like pre-frozen shit either.

[–]dtagliaferri 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Looked like how italians make pizza ( minus the basil slapping) until they cut it. that is not how italians cut pizza, that is not how one should seve pizza.

[–]dodge-and-burn 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (3子コメント)

What's their cutting technique?

[–]catherinecc 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's usually not cut and you get a knife and fork with your pizza and don't usually eat it by hand.

I ate a bunch of these this summer. Damn satisfying.

[–]Thorrtun 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

6 slices

[–]dtagliaferri 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

you get a whole pizza and use a fork and knife to cut and eat it mouth sized peice by mouth sized peice.

[–]DRIZZLEDUNKS 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've heard they just fold it into fours and hand it to you.

[–]wadonka 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

But he slapped the basil, sooo it's artisan.

[–]joshi38 -3 ポイント-2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The amount of olive oil he drenched the thing in almost made me sick to my stomach since I've eaten horribly overly oily pizza before and it was enough to put me off pizza for a long time.

[–]KumbajaMyLord 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Part of the tasting experience has to do with texture. If you chop everything up into small pieces and distribute it completely homogenous throughout your dish you may get even taste, but you miss out on the texture of components.

[–]IVEMIND 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I prefer to mash my pizza down my throat with my fists, followed by copious amounts of pbr. The more homogeneous the texture the better tyvm

[–]MikoRiko 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I agree with pretty much everything but the crust part. I've worked in restaurants that make "authentic" pizza and restaurants that make American pizza... Both leave an inch thick ring of dough unsauced. It's a standard and it's not so bad if they make the dough right.

[–]Macrat 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm italian. We usually don't get one pizza for ten people, so probably the guy in the video is preparing individual pizzas. Having an homogeneous layer of cheese on the pizza kills the flavor for me, though I don't understand the basil thing too.

Also, personally I use the crust to clean oil and such from the plate. Having everything flavored and covered with oil cheese or something else doesn't make better, but everyone likes different kinds of pizza: thicker, thinner, margherita, with a shit ton of stuff on top...

[–]elcheeserpuff 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Ugh.

edit: You should try expanding your horizons with pizza. I obviously don't know you and your experiences, so I'm being a presumptuous ass right now. But if your opinion on pizza is that it needs a shit ton of cheese and that plain crust is a bad thing, then you deserve to get treated with a pizza like this. The crust for something like this is incredible. And the best pizza I've probably had (searched high and low in NYC) had gigantic leafs of basil on it like this. Pizza like this doesn't look like much but it's honestly incredible.

That being said, if you've had pizza like this before and you're well experienced with it, then no worries. You've got your tastes and opinions and other people have theirs. You like what you like and I respect that!

[–]Udontlikecake 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It doesn't need a lot of cheese, just not giant fucking cubes of it randomly placed. It needs slices of mozzarella, evenly distributed.

[–]smitteh 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I will follow you anywhere. Solid advice, and a tool fan. You da man.

[–]xmzx 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (13子コメント)

I'm going to be a dick here but the difference between a pizza made at a regular pizza place and an "artisan" or "authentic" or gourmet pizza is that the second kind is made half assed.

Well, this should be interesting.

Seriously, the cheese slice sizes are all over the place and their placement is shit.

If you've ever had pizza from these places before, you'd know the taste almost exclusively comes from the sauce and crust. Sure, you'll get a cute taste of cheese here and there, but it's really not even necessary. That's why many "authentic" pizza places don't even use cheese at all unless requested.

And then there's the crust. You will always have crust, you dont need to leave an inch thick ring of pizza unsauced and uncheesed. If you're doing that it should be brushed with olive or garlic oil otherwise it will be hard as a rock while the dough is still doughy. Its a cheap trick to save money.

You're eating some really bad pizza if this is your experience with the crust. The crust should be cooked all the way through no matter what. The good "authentic" places will have the crust not too "hard" on the outside and cooked completely and very tasty in the inside. Brushing the crust with garlic or olive oil really takes away from the flavor of the crust.

It's definitely not a "cheap trick to save money."

Oh and the basil part was ridiculous. I'm inclined to believe slapping the basil is more to distract from the fact that he's just throwing whole leaves on the pizza than for flavor.

So, you're basically saying grounding or crushing any herb is pointless and done for artistic value than actual purpose? Many shit places don't even bother "slapping" the basil. What the person here did was absolutely the correct way of using basil without tearing apart the leaves.

I don't know who's dumber, the person who made this video or the people who go for this kind of thing.

Looks like you're the only one showing off your intellectual skills in this comment section.

All you have to do is make it look like shit and people will eat it up. Maybe it feels more personal because it doesnt look like a machine made it?

I don't know where the pizza looks like "shit" in this video, but my guess is we've had different experiences in life. People like you are probably the reason why vegetables and fruits are looking prettier than ever while carrying significantly less nutrients than just a few decades ago.

I'm tired of shit passing for good because its quirky or random, and thats exactly what this is, just like you can sell a regular pair of jeans for 40 bucks, but if you 'distress' it, now its worth double.

I know you're trying out your shoot from the hip, go against the grain, stuck in your teenage years, angsty attitude here, but it really doesn't hold water.

Also, this is a pretty shitty metaphor. We won't even go over the distressed part, since it's pretty clear you haven't been clothes shopping in about 20 years. You're comparing jeans to say dress pants. A large pizza from Pizza Hut is $15. A large pizza from many "authentic" places is just about the same. However, they're different types of pizza. Not all pizza is the same because it carries the name pizza just as all pants aren't the same because they carry the name pants.

[–]isawaterfall 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It seems I share the same taste in pizza as you, just not the superiority complex. Different people like different pizzas, get over it mr. old but still angsty enough to write the travesty that is those last two paragraphs.

[–]05banks 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

So glad you did all that. Would have taken me about 20 minutes to write what you did.

[–]iWriteBadPoems 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Are you saying pizza hut pizza is regular pizza?

[–]xmzx 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Well, s/he said brushed crust with oil. I think those corporate franchise places are known for doing that to make their tasteless crust less tasteless. I presumed that's what kind of pizza the person I replied to was talking about.

[–]Ashra52 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

That's hilarious. You based your entire comment on a false assumption. 10/10, worth the troll bait.

[–]xmzx -3 ポイント-2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The brushed oil and the "rock hard," under cooked doughy crust isn't coming from someone who has experienced many variations of pizza in his/her day. Replace "corporate franchise" with whatever other place does that.

[–]DRIZZLEDUNKS 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I worked there once. Nine pumps of oil into every large pan and then toss a frozen circle of dough in the pan to float on the oil until it's proofed. Gross.

[–]DRIZZLEDUNKS 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

People like you are probably the reason why vegetables and fruits are looking prettier than ever while carrying significantly less nutrients than just a few decades ago.

Not to mention the fruits and vegetables we get here in the US have taste nothing like what they should. That's one thing visitors from other nations consistently comment on.

[–]Lovv 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I disagree, I think this pizza looks delicious.

I've had one that looked similar and it was good. Had a lot sweeter and oily pick sauce compared to normal pizza.

I highly doubt they are trying to save money by leaving some crust, but I think brushing it in olive oil sounds like it would work.

[–]deltaak 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You know that you can make different sauce and put it on "normal pizza", right? Shit, maybe then you could have good sauce and all the ingredients in every bite.

[–]05banks 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've never heard an italian say that he wants his sauce to be sweet. They usually add a tiny, tiny bit of sugar (like half a teaspoon) just to cut the sour tang that can be present in some tomatoes, but never want it 'sweet'.

[–]bathrobehero 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I once got into an similar argument on /r/food about a shitty pizza with 2 chunks of cheese, cooked basil leaves, absolutely uneven sauce distribution and huge crusts. I was massacred and ended up deleting my comments learning that they had absolutely no idea what a real pizza is.

[–]mistahveeg 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

thank you. i thought there was something wrong with me for getting upset over that fucking topping distribution. artsy fucking assholes ruining pizza. probably costs like $40 for one of those burnt oily turds.

[–]Tartantyco 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Oh, Reddit. You're always so confident when you're talking out of your ass.

[–]enfrozt -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

who is reddit? Is he related to the 4chan guy?

[–]Kacers 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The whole first half of this video is exactly the process we followed at papa murphys pizza when I worked there.we measured out ingredients, they them into the hopper, portioned it out, rounded the balls, and let them rise in big plastic tubs. Exactly the same.

[–]large-farva 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The pizza isn't even supposed to be sliced, fucking amateur hour up in here.

[–]OneHumanLife 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You take your pizza seriously. I'm sure this pizza is delicious.

[–]AlbrechtVonRoon 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

And then there's the crust.

I agree with everything except this. I really like pizza crusts, especially if it is crispy, so this aspect didn't bother me (if he had left much more though then it would have been an issue).

[–]Jgz1994 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

http://i.imgur.com/swIkwm5.jpg

Here's a half margherita, half special (pepperoni, sausage, beef, mushroom, bell pepper, onion) my uncle made at our restaurant. Personally, I don't like either, but they look really good.

[–]joshi38 -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I was on board with the video until he started putting tiny lumps of cheese haphazardly on the pizza... and then the basil.

Also, people looks at this and think "well, it's an authentic Italian Pizza." Bull shit. Authentic Italian pizzas traditionally come with a lot of cheese and not very much sauce. When the Italians first created Pizza, it was little more than cheese and herbs on bread, tomatoes (or tomato sauce) wasn't added until much later.

Now, personally, I like a decent sauce on my pizza and will work hard to make a really nice sauce, but that's a personal preference and it always accompanies a decent covering of cheese.

The pizza in the video though, is basically just bread and tomato sauce with a little added basil and cheese that has no other function than to make it all look nice.

Enjoy your pizza.

[–]catherinecc 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Authentic Italian pizzas traditionally come with a lot of cheese

Learned that from a dominos commercial, did you?

[–]nyda -3 ポイント-2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Who the fuck upvotes shit comments like these? You obviously are talking out of your ass and know nothing about cooking.

[–]fenrisulfur -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

But the thing is, the few times I have had really really good pizza I am happy to get more bread than toppings. On good pizza the bread is the main thing, the toppings are just that topping. When you see him cut it in this video you see that the bread does not have a crunchy crust, it is springy and moist.

There are not many places you get good "authentic" pizza but when you do you figure out it is really good bread with a few toppings.

[–]ASSNUGGET_IN_SPACE -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah, I watched this video and at the end of it thought, "I wouldn't want to eat that pizza". And I don't know what that basil ever did to him but he slapped the fuck out of it for no good reason.

[–]WFOpizza -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

have you had such pizza?

[–]withagrainofsalt1 -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

id eat the pizza he made. would you?

[–]GamerX44 -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I fully agree ! There is nothing on that pizza at all and it probably costs 10$ !

[–]BlinkingZeroes -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ingredients pending - you can see here in the video they're using unbleached, non-bromated flour. A lot of pizza places in the US won't make this extra spend, and there's a reason those processes are banned in Europe.

Those "Cheese slices" are also actually chunks of Mozarella. They're supposed to be like that. Sometimes, a tasty pizza is better than a perfectly distributed one. Though being food, it's a personal preference. There must be a million strong opinions on how to make good pizza by now.

[–]TerroristOgre -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

/u/lateral_us for president!!