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Whoop there it is. (pbs.twimg.com)

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[–]superawesomecookies 154 ポイント155 ポイント  (73子コメント)

Being murdered for saying no is not a "trend." There is no list of trendy things for guys in Men's Health with murdering girls for not giving consent at the top of the list. I don't know any guys who talk about how they love killing girls who won't bang them.

This picture is comparing FASHION TRENDS with MURDER. It trivializes real problems in third world countries.

[–]snapsnapattackthe taylors gonna tay 82 ポイント83 ポイント  (31子コメント)

It doesn't really hold up when examined too closely, but I saw it as expressing the same idea as the Margaret Atwood quote, 'Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.'

[–]pakap 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Difference is that that quote doesn't actually use a lot of hyperbole, sadly.

[–]Kalahan7[🍰] 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (9子コメント)

Men are afraid about a lot more than women laughing at them though.

Even in terms of violence. People seem to forget that men are still the biggest target of general violence.

[–]thekeVncunsolicited handfull of dong 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Yes, but mostly of violence committed by other men.

[–]concretepigeon 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I'm sure that's a huge comfort to the victims.

[–]thekeVncunsolicited handfull of dong 27 ポイント28 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I'm sorry, my English must have been unclear.

Most of the violence perpetuated in the modern world (Western and otherwise) is committed by men, against other men. Violence of man-on-woman and man-on-child tie for second place, with the relative rates being different in different parts of the world. Other types of violence, including woman-on-man and woman-on-child do occur, and all victims of violence deserve our sympathy and compassion.

Again, ALL VICTIMS deserve sympathy and compassion.

The point of my response is not to distract from the issue of treating the victims, but rather to point out that in a larger, societal context it is still a gendered issue. It still ties back to the power gap between privileged men and everybody else. Thus our best hope for reducing the prevalence of violence is to empower women and nonviolent men in our society.

This is why I generally don't respond to that statistic. It's highly correlated with attempts to derail a discussion about treating violence against women, even though the solution to both problems are, in a preponderance of cases, the exact same thing.

Ask yourself, /u/concretepigeon, do you want to reduce the amount of violence committed against men? Because one of the simplest, most effective ways we've found to do that is by empowering women.

[–]pretty-yininvading Poland with my feminism 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I upvoted, but it wasn't enough, so I'm writing to tell you that you ROCK and that response was dead on. Bravo.

[–]MrFibbles 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Can you explain why empowering women(which i am all for) would help stop male on male violence? I have never heard that claim before and it would be super awesome if you could kill two birds with one stone like that.

[–]ArmonahMy lips say "no" but my eyes say "read my lips" 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (1子コメント)

The Margaret Atwood quote refers to power dynamics in dating between men and women specifically. Men generally speaking don't worry that the person they're dating is a rapist or potentially violent.

I was never much of a fan of the quote itself because it lacks so much nuance. A less hyperbolic way of saying it would be this: Men fear getting rejected, women fear a violent reaction should they reject a man. What they have in common still highlights the difference in where their fear lies: a bruised ego versus a bruised body.

[–]perkinsrent 43 ポイント44 ポイント  (11子コメント)

Ah yes, third world countries like detroit and houston and new york city and london and massachussetts and pennsylvania and wyoming and california…

All these news stories are from this year. See When Women Refuse for more.

Intimate partner violence is overwhelmingly committed by men against women and tends to be more severe than other kinds of violent crime. One in four violent crimes reported to police involve intimate partner violence.

The juxtaposition of fashion trends and violence highlights that intimate partner violence is a huge issue for women. You may not know any men who abuse women, but it is shockingly common.

[–]ArmonahMy lips say "no" but my eyes say "read my lips" 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This picture is comparing FASHION TRENDS with MURDER. It trivializes real problems in third world countries.

What the hell do third world countries have to do with this? People get murdered in first world countries too, you know.

ETA: You know what's actually trivializing? Invoking the third world everytime someone wants to talk about a (real, legitimate) problem in the first world. That both diminishes whatever problem that person wants to talk about and it's really patronizing to boot.

[–]Pareunomania 51 ポイント52 ポイント  (9子コメント)

Just because there are worse problems in third would countries doesn't mean that first world problems aren't real.

[–]TheTudorPrincess 25 ポイント26 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I honestly don't know why you are being downvoted for this. This is ridiculous, I expect better of TrollX. Everyone has different experiences, and they don't get to choose what country they were born into. It's pointless to compare experiences. People face shitty things no matter where they live, and each person will have a different meter for what they consider a bad experience or problem.

I was abused by my father my whole childhood, but the abuse wasn't as bad as some of the abuse others have gone through. Does that make the abuse I have that much less important or difficult for me? You wouldn't tell a victim of abuse that there situation is "not that bad" compared to others.

I hate the whole idea of first world problems. Most of the people who even call them first world problems don't even get off their butt to help those in the third world either. And you know what? I do feel scared saying no sometimes. Sometimes when you say no, the man gets angry and starts following you so you have to walk around the block a couple times before he goes so he won't find out where you live. But I guess that just not a big deal because hey, at least I was born in the first world.

[–]superawesomecookies 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (7子コメント)

You're telling me that you legitimately believe that a significant portion of women in first world countries have a real and genuine fear of being slaughtered if they choose not to go home with a man they meet at a bar? Really?

[–]snapsnapattackthe taylors gonna tay 57 ポイント58 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think many women worldwide, in all kinds of contexts, worry that some men will become violent if they say no. Guys at bars. Guys on dates. Their husbands. Whatever.

[–]Hanselverkwansel 24 ポイント25 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Recently in my country a woman who refused to dance with a man in a club got her face bashed in with a vodka bottle for it. She came very close to dying.

I live in one of the top european countries.

You were saying?

[–]Pareunomania 34 ポイント35 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I'm literally just saying that just because some problems aren't as big doesn't mean they aren't problems.

[–]Anamally 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

But.. no one ever said that being murdered for saying no isn't a problem. Obviously that's a problem. I don't get why you keep repeating your phrase when everyone knows that murder is a problem.

All that superawesomecookies is saying is that this picture is comparing murder to disliked fashion trends, and that this makes no sense, and that it is trivializing murder.

[–]Pareunomania 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

But I wasn't even talking about that. I never even addressed the first part of her comment. I was only talking about the second part.

[–]fishsticks_inmymouth 28 ポイント29 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Slaughtered? No. Being verbally harassed at the very least? Yes. Being groped/touched against your wishes? Yes. Potentially being abused if you try to physically defend yourself (punch/kick/slap as a result of the groping)? Yes.

The post is sarcastic. But, I take it to mean more about the implications of saying "no", and how we have to be fearful of what will happen if we PISS OFF THE WRONG GUY. :(

[–]enigma5908 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

yes.

[–]Lily_May 40 ポイント41 ポイント  (7子コメント)

My aunt was literally hacked to death by her ex-husband during her divorce proceedings. They found blood spray on the fucking ceiling. Her kids were in the house.

Fuck you. I'm very fucking concerned about what happens when men get angry at women.

[–]In_Liberty 66 ポイント67 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Men hate getting killed for saying "no" when a mugger says "give me your wallet", but you don't see us making inane comparisons.

[–]MeloJelo -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes, wallets are comparable to dating or having sex with someone. . . .

[–]enigma5908 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

http://whenwomenrefuse.tumblr.com/

[–]ohjesuswhatdoiputher 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (2子コメント)

What the heck!?! Why is this disgusting piece of mansplaning upvoted so much? Did we go the way of /r/TwoX overnight or something?

[–]superawesomecookies 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

"Mansplaining?" First of all, I am a woman. Second of all, nowhere in that comment did I say that it doesn't happen or "not all men." I said murder is not trendy, and that comparing it to something as trivial and stupid as fashion trends is insulting. It isn't some passing fad that will go away in a few weeks. It is a real and serious danger in many countries.

[–]perkinsrent 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's a long term statistical trend even in "first world" countries.

[–]Lauren_the_lichBoo! 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

"Eat your vegetables there are starving kids in Africa"

[–]classybroad19 -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you're gonna try and get all pc, learn what you're saying. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_World

I think you mean developing world. Unless you are referring to the unaligned countries during the Cold War.

[–]rawbface -5 ポイント-4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

How is this not the top comment?? Instead it's about someone's ass looking fat?