Recommended by Kara Brown
SECURITY WARNING: Please treat the URL above as you would your password and do not share it with anyone. See the Facebook Help Center for more information.
SECURITY WARNING: Please treat the URL above as you would your password and do not share it with anyone. See the Facebook Help Center for more information.

Watch a Woman Experience 100 Instances of Street Harassment In One Day

Adobe Flash Player or an HTML5 supported browser is required for video playback.
Get the latest Flash Player
Learn more about upgrading to an HTML5 browser
When we talk about feminism and sexism, we tend to focus on larger institutional problems like the wage gap and rape legislation. We discuss sexual harassment in the workplace, but less lip service is given to the day to day bullshit women face that over time, can really wear on your spirit. It's the type of exhausting sexism that makes you feel like things are never going to get better.
Hollaback is an initiative to raise awareness about and combat street harassment. They filmed a young woman clad in a simple black t-shirt and jeans—not that it really matters what she was wearing, but the idiots among us love using that to justify verbally and physically abusing women—walking through the streets of New York and captured the staggering amount of street harassment she was subjected to. Over the course of ten hours, Hollaback recorded over one hundred instances of verbal street harassment. They note that the harassment spanned a number of neighborhoods and people of all backgrounds.
It's hard to fully articulate how goddamn infuriating, frustrating and at times, terrifying, street harassment can be. And to be clear, all of it sucks, which we see in this video—from the seemingly innocuous, "Hey what's up girl," to the man who, after she ignored a "compliment" yelled: "Somebody's acknowledging you for being beautiful. You should say thank you more." Sir, fuck your compliment and fuck your entire existence on this planet.
Of course, there was also the guy who silently walked next to her for five minutes.
The first thing that Jezebel ever published by me was about street harassment. I didn't even realize that was what it was called until I saw it tagged as such. When I recently moved from New York to LA, I naively thought I would experience less street harassment. Luckily, I was wrong because apparently this shitty male behavior cuts across a number of cultural barriers.
A few weeks ago I was at a flea market in Los Angeles. As I was buying something from a vendor, I hear a male voice saying: "Hey beautiful" over and over. The vendor I was buying from said, "I think he's talking to you."
I quickly snapped: "My name isn't fucking beautiful." The man who had yelled at me came closer and said: "I just wanted to let you know that I think you're beautiful." I said: "I don't give a fuck what you think."
A few minutes later that same man approached me to apologize. He said he wasn't trying to holler at or bother me, (lies) but just wanted to give me a compliment. I told him that my self-esteem is not dependent upon the affirmation of strangers and he should stop doing that shit to me and other women. To his credit, he was very polite and said he's trying to grow and be a better person. I truly hope that he meant that because having just one man recognize how degrading it is to do that to women is necessary.
Because this? What we see in this video—a woman unable to simply move through a single day of her life without verbal harassment? This shit has got to stop.
751 998_Reply
Like
Like
2k2k
Discussions from People followed by Kara BrownKara Brown’s DiscussionsPopular Discussion
All replies
The following replies are approved. To see additional replies that are pending approval, click Show Pending. Warning: These may contain graphic material.
Warning: Replies that are pending approval may contain graphic material.
Please proceed with caution.
Sometimes even just the appraising looks get to me. Men looking you up and down deciding whether they would fuck you, their eyes crawling all over your body uninvited. I'm not talking about a quick check-out, I'm talking about the ones who feel entitled to stare openly, and there are many. There are some days I wish I could be invisible, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that.
Flagged
Judging? There's a feeling that they are placing value on you and ranking you in some way. I completely agree, that appraisal doesn't do the feeling justice, but I'm not sure how else to put it.
Flagged
i haaaaate the turnaround-stare. like, be more disgusting, please, try. i understand people have eyes and some people are attractive, and looking is ok. staring is not, and turning around to pan up and down and stare at someone's ass is NOT ACCEPTABLE. WHO RAISED YOU. recently a guy did it on the subway platform, and as he whipped back around, grinning, he met me furrowed, nose-wrinkled scowl, and i think he was a tiny bit embarrassed. oh yes, people can see you when you act like that. did you think you were invisible just because you waited until the girl was past you and SHE didn't notice?
Flagged
Here's the thing. In my experience, I NEVER, literally NEVER see men casually greet each other on the street unless they know each other. These men are throwing out seemingly harmless greetings in hopes you will turn and want to talk. Or they may just want a smile. Sorr,y but I only smile when I feel smiley, not because a dozen strange motherfuckers think they are owed it because they threw out a pointless greeting I wasn't wanting.
Flagged
When they are eye-fucking you or licking their lips while giving said friendly greeting... yeah, it's harassment.

I was seriously going to give the guy at 50 seconds a pass because the street was relatively empty and he sounded genuinely surprised/polite about greeting her, then it was like he realized she wasn't into it so he was going fade away with an apologetic "oh god bless, have a nice day". Totally friendly, normal human to human interaction right?

NOOoooooope. He followed her for 5 minutes like the creepiest creep who ever creeped.
Flagged
OMG that guy silently walking by her for 5 minutes. Blech! Gave me the chills.
I'm so super sensitive to this nowadays. I thought it would get better as I got older and more comfortable in my skin… but I was groped a couple months ago 2 blocks from my apartment in broad daylight and I'm a jumpy mess now. Fuck these assholes.
Flagged
All I can think is thank god there's someone in front of her filming everything - especially when that dude trailed her for five minutes. Shit happens to me all the time in SF.
Flagged
Move to the suburbs. NYC is ground zero for this bullshit.
And this is going to sound racist, BUT...
this is much, much more prevalent with minorities. I've only been catcalled by one white guy, but when I walk through the Southside of Chicago, I want to wear a burka.
Flagged
It isn't about gender. It is about individual assholes. DO NOT let them tell you otherwise.
Flagged
Same here. If I'm walking down the street when there aren't many people around and there's a woman in front of me, I make sure I pass her quickly just because I know it's probably creeping her out to know that I'm walking behind her. And I'm not even doing anything wrong! How can guys not sense another human being's fear in that situation?
Flagged
A totally valid issue in society, yet I cannot get the irony over hearing women complain when they are paid no attention at all, and the many many many stories of people having met as perfect strangers because one had the guts to approach the pretty stranger. Just like when someone they like approached them is "confident" and "charming" vs. "creepy" and "annoying" when they're not attracted. So...,when is it ok to approach a woman and when is it not?
Flagged
Oow oow, perhaps in a situation where approaching a woman is expected, and you have a reason to approach her other than to say 'you're hot, I wanna fuck you.' Like for example if your at a party and a friend introduces you to someone because you share interests.

There's no irony, women want to be payed attention to when they choose to talk, not just because they are a woman walking down the street.
Flagged
It's all in the delivery. Creepy pickup lines or comments on appearance are not the right way. Most women don't want to be bothered while trying to live their lives. Just a friendly 'hello' and a smile. Gauge her reaction. If she acts like you have a bowl of doo strapped to your head, move on. My husband was a customer at the record store where I worked. He edged in slowly with, "hey this is a great record. Have you heard it?" He became a regular and eventually became an acquaintance. Then he asked me out. I said no. It took him three tries before I said, "Hey, why not?" He was never creepy, lewd, forward, and never mentioned my appearance. We've been married 11 years after dating for 3.
Flagged
Where do you hear this, exactly? In your own shitty head? I have literally never in my fucking life heard a woman complain that she wasn't street harassed. And catcalling isn't conversation, it's harassment. That's not how relationships start, it's how men let women know they're being watched.
Flagged
This is helpful, because I think that a lot of men - even the good ones - don't realize the sheer amount of harassment that women, particularly young women, go through every single day. Why? Because it doesn't happen around them. When you're with another man, you're considered their "territory" by the type of man who usually catcalls, and bro, you wouldn't disrespect another dude's territory.
I remember actually getting harassed on the street when I was walking with the guy I was dating at the time. I guess the person didn't realize I was with him, and my boyfriend got so mad - like "how dare that guy be that disrespectful, I can't believe that happened." And I was like "Uhhhh, that happens every day." It was mind-blowing to him, and he was a decent guy.
Flagged
This. I used to think that the whole "Smile" thing was overblown and people taking things to a far-off conclusion. Then I started seeing it in real life. Then this video starts with it!
Flagged
it happened to me once in front of my dad and i just brushed it off like "eh, i'm a woman, it sucks that i'm used to it, but i am." and he just gave me the saddest look I've ever seen because he honestly didn't think people said stuff like that to me.
Flagged
When I lived in Italy, the catcalling was worse than I'd ever experienced before. I'm not going to say "oh that's Italian men" or whatever, but whatever factors came into play — I was clearly foreign, I was a woman, it was the city, they were construction workers on break, whatever — it was the worst catcalling I have ever been subject to. All day, every day, on every street, over and over and over. Except when my boyfriend walked with me. Then I was blissfully left alone, but he had to be with me.
Flagged
I had a conversation about that with my dad recently too! He's an educated, enlightened guy who thinks that I should have every opportunity, but even he couldn't quite wrap his head around what it is like to constantly be catcalled.
Flagged
Being a guy, I can never really understand how this feels for a woman, but what surprised me was the cumulative feeling of disgust I felt as the video went on. Each comment was compounded by all the comments that preceded it. I can only imagine what that must feel like at the end of an entire day.
Flagged
Exactly. Less than two minutes of film, and I was sickened by the one minute mark. ESPECIALLY the guys that started walking next to her for an extended period of time. I mean, I've tried to talk to women on the street before, but damn, that was just ridiculous.
Flagged
By the end of a day of harassment I'm exhausted, sad, moody and depressed. Not the state of mind I want to be in when I come home to my wonderful husband.
I'm willing to put money on the fact that half the time a women you know is in a 'mood' she's was harassed by some jerk on the street that day.
Flagged
Sounds like you do understand though. It's not that any one incident is so awful, it's the cumulative effect of all the encounters in the day.
Flagged
Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with American guys? Apart from the sexist issues, do they seriously think that shit's going to work? Where the fuck are their manners? Where the fuck is the charm?
Flagged
But... it doesn't. It's a uniquely US thing - at least this scale of harassment. Sure, you get the odd idiot here too, but not almost everyone doing it.
At least in Northern Europe, that kind of behaviour simply isn't tolerated by anyone.
Flagged
Once in a while, I run into people who are willing to actually talk about the fact that maybe they shouldn't impose their aesthetic preferences on me and no, it's not a compliment and yes, it's just interrupting and ruining my day. It's interesting to see these people backtrack a bit and try to justify or explain themselves, but also maybe get into their heads that what they're doing actually isn't appropriate.
The rest of the while, I just get laughed at and / or called an ungrateful cunt, with a good sprinkling of rape threats. It's sometimes cathartic to scream at them, but I'm usually just too tired.
Of course, then there are the ones who actually touch me. Those assholes get an elbow in the face or a punch in the neck. Motherfuckers, I will kill you.
Flagged
As a guy here, I've got to say I can't at all understand what the constant vocal berating must be like. But I would imagine part of the disgust comes from where the intent of these compliments come from. Using the video above, the vibe and situation insinuate that these men are clearly just thinking with their smaller head and looking at this woman as a piece of meat.
Though, I myself have found times where I'll be out at a bar or restaurant, and I'll find myself genuinely thinking something complimentary of a girl, and I'll approach to compliment something specific that I do find attractive about them (Not just 'You're beautiful'. But if I think she has a beautiful smile, I'll say it. Or about something she's wearing, or something she did with her hair.) . I also make sure to always end the compliment with, "I just wanted to let you know that, and I hope you have a wonderful evening." And I turn and walk away.
Not that I do this often, but I get genuine happiness from being able to try and make someone happy by acknowledging something that I find aesthetically pleasing, that I also think that they would enjoy feeling appreciated by someone noticing. In almost every instance, I will get "Thank You's!" with a smile, or to my surprise some of them have reached for my arm to stop me as I turned away and asked for my name.
Would you consider that "cat calling"? Or is it simply just paying a compliment?
Flagged
It's all about context. That's definitely "just paying a compliment," and as long as you make it clear that you are not complimenting a person with the expectation that the recipient now OWES you something in return, you're doing fine. It sounds like you're paying these compliments in actual social environments, where people actually intend to interact with each other.
"Compliments" yelled at passersby on the sidewalk, on the other hand, are cat calls. I don't care if they're saying something nice — the majority of the time, people who spout those "compliments" think they now deserve as much as my time as they want. They can get really scary and threatening when I decide when the interaction should end. So if you do compliment someone and she ignores you or brushes you off, that's why — she has no way of knowing whether you are being genuine, or if you think you've purchased her attention by "paying" her a compliment.
Flagged
I think you walk a fine line. In a social setting, those types of things are more expected and acceptable, but it all depends on the woman you approach. Maybe she had a shitty day and doesn't feel like dealing with unsolicited attention from a stranger. Or maybe she had a shitty day and it's nice to receive an unsolicited compliment. You can never expect all women to be thankful for your compliment.
If you are at a restaurant, sitting down, and see a woman at the bar and get up to go over specifically to tell her you like her smile/hair/dress etc., that would probably come off as overbearing and sketchy because it's implying that you made all the effort to get up and walk over, and she owes you something. If you are just walking by her and say "Hey, that's a really pretty dress," then continue on your way, that's different and less intrusive. It's all about the atmosphere and whether or not you are conveying that you expect something out of the interaction.
Flagged
I would say that more often than not, it's too risky, because you don't want to put a woman in a position where she thinks you expect a particular response. The way you phrased that is all about you...YOU get joy out of complimenting a woman, and you assume she will too. If you're the tenth person to bother her that day, or you're interrupting something she is doing, or she feels like you expect a particular response, she might not enjoy it. Even some of the thank yous you've received in the past might not have been genuine so much as "if I just say thank you, maybe he won't stand here and try to have a conversation with me while I wait for my food." I'm not saying your intent is bad, I'm saying that women do not have a way to automatically judge that intent in most cases and because it is so often done with harmful intent, it could just compound that feeling.
ALL of that said, I don't think your policy has to be "never compliment strangers" because I think the stranger compliment is a wonderful thing when done right...I myself like to give men encouraging comments when they have excellent beards, so long as it is socially appropriate when I do so. A good rule of thumb might be to use the exact same tone you would use when telling another man "hey man, that's a cool shirt, I like it" and then going about your business normally.
Flagged
The thirst is real. Also, I guess I never appreciated the extent to which women are objectified. I suppose walking around with a penis has all sorts of benefits, mainly not being accosted and followed by total strangers.
Flagged
I live in a polite part of the country and am older, and even I get creeps following me for a block or hollering at me. When I walk around with even one guy, it doesn't happen.
Flagged
Wow. I had to take a shower after watching this video, albeit a French one. How does one combat this behaviour as a fellow man though? I would just get upset at the guy and I can't afford to get beat up (no more health insurance :( sadly).
Flagged
The best advice I can give in the situation that you don't know the guy, is to tell him to knock it off authoritatively, but not aggressively. An example of what I'm thinking is if some dude is like "Oh baby, lookin' sexy!" if you just said, "She's just walking. Stop it." and then taking yourself out of the situation.
More importantly, as a feminist ally, you can help most by explaining to other guys (ie your friends an acquaintances) when they use problematic language towards women, or are creepy in public why it's wrong, and how their actions make women feel. It's one thing when it comes from another woman because to someone who already thinks this way it plays in to the "BiTcHeS bE cRaZy." narrative. But coming from you, it will probably mean more because you're setting the example and because you're probably one of the first to come out and say, "No. This is unacceptable." .
Hope this helps!
Flagged
Hosts of other popular chats
0%
 
10%
 
20%
 
30%
 
40%
 
50%
 
60%
 
70%
 
80%
 
90%
 
100%