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[–]calm_chowder 158 ポイント159 ポイント  (81子コメント)

He knows he's small. The timing of the break-up is going to make the reasoning pretty obvious. It sounds like he wasn't trying very hard anyways if he only lasted 30 seconds... being small is one thing, being ok with 30 seconds of sex is entirely another. I doubt he'll ask for any reason other than spite if his size played a part in it... if he does, you can tell him honestly that you think you two are sexually incompatible. Otherwise, don't mention the size factor.

[–]littleprobthrowaway[S] 66 ポイント67 ポイント  (19子コメント)

I'm just so scared of crushing him, you know? He obviously trusted me A LOT if he was willing to have sex with me, but now I'm hurting him just like all the girls before.

[–]PostNationalism 72 ポイント73 ポイント  (2子コメント)

god i can't imagine how awful that must be for him

[–]littleprobthrowaway[S] 34 ポイント35 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yeah, I truly feel awful for him. He's such a nice guy, which is what makes this difficult.

[–]mwilke 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, not to put too much blame on him - but if you know you're lackin the equipment, you should really learn some other techniques to satisfy your lady instead of going for 30 seconds and rolling over.

Even if he had the world's most perfect penis, that kind of behavior would endear him to no woman.

[–]pancake_ice 51 ポイント52 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Why not have a discussion with him? Guy, I like you but I don't see this any further. I think the way you handled our sex life was misguided. You should have talked to be before hand but instead you surprised me. I don't like your problem solving skills, lack of communication etc... Next time, make sure to talk to your partner and try to find ways to make it enjoyable for both instead of trying to avoid the problem.

He might not want to hear it... but it might help him avoid these sorts of problems in the future if he is open and honest. He will be hurt... there is no way around it. But maybe he can learn something for the future.

[–]Free_skier -3 ポイント-2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Why not the truth? "Sorry but you will sadly never be able to satisfy me. And next time don't wait two months to tell me your problems, it's only making it more dramatic. No need to be angry or ashamed, that's not your fault or mine."

[–]LordUa 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, yea he trusted you, but I knid of feel that he revealed his "little secret" in the worst possible way. Imagine if he had asked you to waita and take things slow, and then finally after two months he was ready and when you showed up he had a crazy sex dungeon and was all BDSM. I know that's a kink and kind of a poor example, but I think it illustrates my point. He should have been more upfront about this, there should have been discussion, not a surprise reveal.

[–]burningcakeforfun 32 ポイント33 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Dude knew what he was swinging, and he's been down this road before. Be honest. Also, look at this way: he gave you long con. I imagine he doesn't have sex often, and I'm also willing to bet that at least one woman looked at it, said hell no, and split before any sex went down. He got you emotionally involved, then sprung his little surprise on you and used your emotional attachment and kindness to score his 30 seconds. And he will then (I can almost guarantee this) use this as a way to make you feel shallow for dumping him over something that should've been mentioned waaaaay sooner. Fuck all of that noise. Dump him, and don't lie about all the variations of why. Or, conversely, just dump him and give him zero reason. At this point, he knows, and you don't owe him the oppotunity to make you feel bad about his problem.

I once dated a guy with micropenis, and he did the exact same thing, vis a vie the "big reveal." Welcome to the thumb-sucker club, sister. Now get out.

:-)

[–]EZ15 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think this is a little harsh. The guy was playing at his strengths, you cant blame him for that. But I agree that this doesn't make you shallow. Sexual comparability is important and you have every right to bounce if you don't click.

[–]calm_chowder 24 ポイント25 ポイント  (10子コメント)

Again, if he only tried to have sex with your for 30 seconds, he wasn't trying very hard. If he were an average sized man, most women would be extremely upset by that, and rightly so.

If you're 100% positive this man can't sexually satisfy you, it's going to end-- now or down the road, and it's only going to get harder to end. Better for you both that it be now.

[–]Drigr 53 ポイント54 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I think it's incredibly unfair to say he didn't try. He probably hasn't had sex very much (ya know, cause his small penis makes women run away). I have an average size dick, and after 6 months or more without sex, I'm a 2 minute man myself. It takes me a bit to get myself back into the swing of things. It's not about not caring or not trying, it's about an incredibly different feeling between your own hand and the inside of a vagina.

[–]littleprobthrowaway[S] 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (7子コメント)

I actually don't mind the PE, believe it or not. And ex of mine suffered from it and I had no issue with it because we found other ways to get him to last longer. But there is nothing to be done about Steve's micropenis, and that's the real issue. Anyway, you're right that I need to end it. Should I wait a few days, maybe start to act distant to prepare him for it? Or just end it tomorrow out of the blue?

[–]calm_chowder 57 ポイント58 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Don't play stupid games like getting distant and making him worry over it and suffer for a while before you break it off; as twenty-somethings you're both adults now and should act like it. If you've decided it isn't going to work out, sit him down and tell him. Don't make him suffer for a few days while you ignore him and "be distant" in some misguided belief that will be easier for him (it won't be, it'll be easier for you because he's suffered a bit by then and expects it), just be an adult and talk to him when you feel is the earliest right time (for example, if he has a big work presentation in the afternoon, don't do it at lunch time, etc).

[–]littleprobthrowaway[S] 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I've never done the "slow fade" before because, like you, I think it's immature. I've always beem very direct in past break ups. This is different though, because it's not like Steve did anything wrong. After all, he can't help that he was born with this condition. That's why I was wondering if it might soften the blow in this case to create a distance before the break up because it's going to look ridiculously obvious that it's his micropenis that's the problem if I end it suddenly.

[–]calm_chowder 26 ポイント27 ポイント  (0子コメント)

No, it won't soften the blow. Like I already said, it'll make it easier for you because he's been softened up by suffering for a few days, but it'll be shit for him to suffer through that. Don't play stupid games. Do you honestly think he's going to say "oh thank God she started ignoring me for a few days beforehand without any reason or explanation while I had no idea why or what was going on, that made the break up so much easier." Again, it's selfish and it makes your job easier, not his; just be an adult and do what you need to do.

[–]FollowThisAdvice 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm not sure anything can soften the blow of having a micropenis. It's not your fault though.

[–]t0mpee 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Just end it op.

[–]legarbage666 106 ポイント107 ポイント  (35子コメント)

Now I don't entirely agree with you about him "not trying". He probably does not have sex very often, so him only lasting 30 seconds is understandable to me. Him not offering to finsh OP off orally or otherwise, however, is not.

[–]littleprobthrowaway[S] 92 ポイント93 ポイント  (5子コメント)

He did offer! He was very apologetic for finish so fast and I really don't blame him.

[–]calm_chowder 19 ポイント20 ポイント  (28子コメント)

he rolled off of me after about 30 seconds, I asked him, "Is something wrong? I can help guide you in!" He gave me a quizzical look and said, "I already came..." I was so mortified.

To me, this doesn't sound like a very fulfilling sexual experience, or like a guy that's trying to satisfy his partner. I understand that sometimes a guy can't control when he orgasms, but the woman is 50% of the equation and deserves to be satisfied as well. It may have happened differently than OP describes it, but him rolling off and saying "I already came" seems pretty darn insensitive to me. There's finishing early, and then there's thinking the whole act of sex is finished because one person came, which is beyond selfish.

[–]hyperbolic_pancakes 37 ポイント38 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't think he meant he was done with sex at this point; I think he was explaining he already came, because she thought he hadn't even been inside her yet ("I can help guide you in").

[–]RocheCoach 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

the whole act of sex is finished because one person came, which is beyond selfish.

I'm with you on this, but the rest of your post is pretty stupid. If a guy cums, he cums. It has nothing to do with trying, or whatever. Most guys aren't porn stars who can control when it happens. OP's boyfriend's best move is to cum, keep going and wait until he's hard again, and try again.

[–]Valkyrie21 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (18子コメント)

Even if the size factor isn't mentioned he'll come to that conclusion. This will likely lead to some serious insecurity.

[–]littleprobthrowaway[S] 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (17子コメント)

That's what kills me. I don't want him to be insecure over it, because there are girls out there who wouldn't mind. I'm not one of them though.

[–]lesslucid 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

He's already insecure about it. You're not going to be inflicting any new wounds on him, just reminding him of a pain he already feels.
Life isn't fair, and you're not able to change that. You can be compassionate and try to do the right thing, but in the end, some kids are born into orphanages and some into mansions, some with perfect health and some with holes in their hearts, and some people get a micropenis. You've got to go through the pain of being the one to give him the bad news - again - but you're not the one who made the news what it is. He'll survive. There are literally millions of women in the world for whom this man would be a godsend; he just needs to find one of them.

[–]foreigner_everywhere 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's a bit rushed to judge sexual compatibility after having sex once. Sometimes sex with a new partner just sucks in the beginning and gets better with practice. So I wouldn't quote that as a reason.