every time game_jam comes up i get sick to my stomach, but if anyone cares, the failed mountain dew game_jam was my project while i worked at maker / polaris. the budget was around $200k for the physical production, and it was not Zoe Quinn's fault nor Jontron's fault that the whole production collapsed. in hindsight the project was largely doomed during the early stages, and it is a painful story for me to tell as a large part of its failure is my fault. the short version: game_jam's failure was largely due to my inability to stand up to the people above me and tell them we should kill this project because it was not going to be a good show. i didn't have the stones to tell them that game development should not be "the real housewives of beverly hills." and i didn't have the stones to tell the developers (who were already a bit suspicious) about the grossness behind this project because i egotistically thought i could appease the corporate side, which was clamoring for a drama filled reality show, by making compromises to my vision, and at the same time create something that genuinely gave the audience insight into the process of making a game and celebrated game development. in any case, i failed on all counts and i feel horrible about it. i no longer work at maker. my position was eliminated in june, and even though no one involved said anything at all to me about game_jam since we shut it down, i imagine it had something to do with my being let go. Jared Rosen's version is not inaccurate, but there are large problematic portions of game_jam he wasn't present for that occurred long before any developers or youtubers had signed on to the project. i consider game_jam to be my largest failing as a director. it wasn't 100 million dollars, but it was the biggest project i had attempted and i am ashamed that i let it become something i didn't want it to become. one of the developers involved, after it was all over he asked me, "if this wasn't what you wanted, how did this happen?" and my only response was that you make tiny compromises along the way, first, it goes from being a documentary to a competition show, because they tell you "nerds on their laptops are not very interesting." and then they want to add prizes, because people won't fight if you don't raise the stakes, nevermind that no one cares about the prizes, and then the people putting the money up for the prizes, well, they want to have their logo on everything and they want you to drink their product on camera, even though i have told everyone who was joining this project (being paid less than minimum wage) that no one was going to drink mountain dew on camera if they didn't want to. and then the story producers and corporate side say there isn't enough drama, and reality shows need drama so go stir things up. i stand there like an idiot while Matti Lesham and the production team (who was from the reality and commercial world) try to stir things up behind my back and i foolishly go around trying to patch things back together instead of doing what any good director would do and figure out where the problem is and take charge of the set. there were plenty of other failings and fires in many departments, and the unpleasant details could fill several pages but i'll stop here because i am incredibly embarrassed by this project and it sickens me to replay all of my missteps. however, i will say that it wasn't Zoe Quinn's plan to bring down game_jam nor was it her fault, the truth is that it failed because i thought i was clever enough and strong enough, and i wasn't. -aaron the director of game_jam, former director at polaris and maker studios