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MFW my best friends brother told a NINE YEAR OLD that she needs to shave her legs because girls aren't supposed to be hairy. (i.imgur.com)

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[–]MrRagston -82 ポイント-81 ポイント

Posting for the sake of curiousity and discussion.

I'm a guy, so of course, take what I say on this matter with a grain of salt.

I don't think any of these guys had any bad or negative intentions with it. To me, it's the same as me telling a guy or girl "Hey, you need to wash your face better and bathe more often. Nobody really likes acned covered faces accompined by B.O.". I'm not trying to deface them as a person, for all I care, if they truly enjoy it having acne and BO, they could stay that way; I would even encourage them to stay that way in the face of adversity should it come to that.

The whole point of me saying that to someone is to say "Hey, in the real world, being appealing matters. The inside is the most important, but if the outside is so off-putting, very few will make it past that."

To me, it seems a bit blown out of porportion, even though I understand the implications of it; men have those things we do only because women want them to be done as well.

Basicaly, what I want to ask is, if I see a girl, and for example sake, let's say she's overweight, if I truly care, it's in my head to say, "Hey, first step, is be happy with yourself regardless of anything else. Second step, it might be a good idea to lose some weight, it'll make it much easier to maneuver within society."

I straight up say bluntly to my fat guy friends "Dude, lose some weight. Women don't generally dig the blubber", and he doesn't like it, but agrees with me and never really gets offended.

I don't know if I'm coming off as ignorant or if I'm making some kind of sense or not though. To me, it's like, I can't even be completely honest with my female friends for the sake of hurting their feelings and ending up doing more damage than helping.

Should I just not care and say nothing? In the crux of equality, I kinda refuse to sweeten it up too much, but if my friend goes around not wearing a bra, it wouldn't bother me at all, but I would be like "Hey, you might want to wear a bra before those things are at your knees", but only because I know men generally like their breast up more and that all people generally want to be as attractive as they can.

Edit: It seems as if having a penis means you will always be downvoted here. Can't say I didn't honestly try.

Edit: Woot! 46 downvotes! I'm impressed, and honored. I've tried and not gotten this many downvotes. I don't even know who to thank.

Oh, btw, since it seems to be a common thing, this post isn't about the little girl from OPs post, it's about the comments in the thread. Of course you shouldn't tell a child things like that, you'll make them self-conscious as hell because they don't know better yet. This is about all the stories in the comment section.

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    [–]tinymogkupo 22 ポイント23 ポイント

    There are a lot of dudes that cry when they come here and get downvoted. Clearly it must be because of the evil women not being able to handle reality, and not that I am a complete asshole.

    [–]lavender-fields 24 ポイント25 ポイント

    "Hey, you need to wash your face better and bathe more often. Nobody really likes acned covered faces accompined by B.O.".

    Body odor is an actual hygiene issue that affects other people. Not shaving your legs is perfectly clean and healthy and has no impact on others whatsoever.

    [–]SRS-SRSLY 20 ポイント21 ポイント

    The assumption you keep making is that you know more about a person's life than they do. You keep saying, "You should do this because that" as though they're totally clueless about their own life and how they're being perceived. The reality is that people balance how they're perceived and their own self image. Drilling into a child "you should always look like how other people want you to look" is a little weird for them, you know?

    [–]VulvarCancerSucks 28 ポイント29 ポイント

    A grown man (20 year old from OPs story) telling a child she shouldn't be how she naturally is or even presuming that she needs to be concerned about trying to be viewed as attractive is not only patently wrong, its also creepy as fuck.

    Also, for your information acne is NOT caused by poor hygiene so telling someone with acne to wash their face better is not only hurtful and rude, its also wrong.

    Furthermore, going without a bra does not cause sagging fits, neither does breastfeeding so please, before you bash people or further spread ignorant falsehoods, get yourself educated.

    [–]SRS-SRSLY 14 ポイント15 ポイント

    Edit: It seems as if having a penis means you will always be downvoted here. Can't say I didn't honestly try.

    If you ignored everything that people responded to you with and eventually decided that the reason nobody agreed with you was because you have a penis, I can honestly say you didn't try.

    [–][deleted] 39 ポイント40 ポイント

    it's the same as me telling a guy or girl "Hey, you need to wash your face better and bathe more often. Nobody really likes acned covered faces accompined by B.O."

    That's really shitty too. Also, the difference that situation and this one is that boys are never told to shave their legs.

    "Dude, lose some weight. Women don't generally dig the blubber"

    That's shitty too.

    "Hey, in the real world, being appealing matters. The inside is the most important, but if the outside is so off-putting, very few will make it past that."

    It's really none of your business in how others present themselves, unless they ask for advice.

    Should I just not care and say nothing?

    Say nothing.

    [–]spindugif stealing whore 20 ポイント21 ポイント

    the problem here is whilst you think you might be helping, you're intentionally hurting. Why do you feel the need to say something? what makes you assume that you know what everyone is attracted to? and so what if men like their breast up more? Here's an idea, a woman might not be dressing up just to attract men!

    You can care and say something if you're asked by the person. But unsolicited advice often comes across (in my opinion) as exerting your own opinion/power over the other person and not really being caring at all. So many people feel the need to comment on someone's weight and I'll bet deep down it's just to make themselves feel superior. If you want to help, say something only if it's asked of you. If you are truly concerned about someone's health, then ask it in a way that isn't shaming.

    as for shaving hair. it's really not a health concern, so be supportive and not add the judgement.

    [–]619shepard 10 ポイント11 ポイント

    So number one, the things that you are suggesting WRT acne and dieting generally just don't work so despite the fact that you "care", you're giving people bullshit advice. BS they've probably heard way more than you can imagine.

    Number two the difference between the pressure on women and men for what attractiveness means is an order of magnitude. And this is happening when the girl is nine; no reason that anything to do with attractiveness should be broached, the kid is still in elementary school.

    Number three, nobody has any obligation to be healthy for any reason. You may care dearly about your best friend in the whole wide world. Chances are they know about their risky behaviors and the consequences. They have made their choices. You bringing it up is really just nagging.

    So yes, you're right you should say nothing.

    I didn't downvote you myself, but you're post reads like you're derailing and trying to further a point by posing it as questions. I took you at face value, but if you're really interested in debate, you're gonna need to admit your assumptions first.

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