All my life I’ve felt like I was living my life I’m the wrong body. My gender was almost correct (I switched to critical-female last month), but my race and ethnicity was completely wrong. I was born white with pure European ancestry, but I’ve always found myself liking rap music, fried chicken, and I could run really fast. I loved basketball and watermelon has been my favorite scent of all time. As I grew older, society and media taught me that these interests are not typical of a white person such as myself. My interests were more normal for black people. I felt ashamed to eat chicken in front of my family, scared to wear my favorite watermelon body mist, and scared to show my basketball skills on the playground (because I was white and a female and we all know how females aren’t supposed to show their athletic skill in public) When I was in high school I really wanted to join the track team but I was so scary to try out because I knew I would be ridiculed by my white peers for betraying my own race and by my black peers for trying to encroach onto their territory. I allowed my racial dysphoria to dictate my life for too long.

Last week I have came to the realization that just because my skin is white and I am “genetically” (genetics is a social construction) Caucasian, that doesn’t mean I am white. I’m black. All the signs are there and I feel black, therefore, I am trans-black. Yesterday I decided to embrace my new identity and wear blackface out in pubic. I went to the mall so I could buy some outfits that were less white and conservative and guess what… I faced nothing but oppression and ignorance. I was told I was a racist biggot by black and white people. Why wold I be racist against my own race??? I’ve never felt so horrible in my life. People have no idea how much I’ve suffered my whole life, hiding who I really am from everyone. I have no friends of family for support and nobody knows the real me. They have no idea how much courage it took for me to wear my blackface out un public. No, it’s not blackface, it’s my identity. All these cis-ethnic scum degraded me for finally wearing my identity on my face. What I hope to accomplish from this post is to prove to the world that trans-black is real and we have real emotions. So please read and share my story and help me educate the oppressors out there.