Anything's bearable- so long as it's finite

….I’ve just been generally leery of watching season 10 but it didn’t cross my mind that they might do this but now that it’s been pointed out I can’t honestly say that I wouldn’t put it past them. Like I could see them doing this and being like “Merry Christmas fuckers, here’s your lump of shame and sack of disappointment.”

(warning for mentions of self harm/suicidal thoughts from the OP below the cut)

(and if you live in a land of spn is a happy wonderful place right now you probably don’t want to click through either)

apocalypse-patisserie:

theladyofbagend:

am i the only one who is so afraid theyre gonna make dean canonically bisexual while hes a demon?

im bi and when i realized i cried so much i had to text my mom and ask her to pick me up from school. she didnt want to leave me home alone because she thought i was going kill myself or self-harm.
i have been called a whore and called a lesbian (like it was a fucking insult), a faggot, worthless. people have told me they hate me and that im a selfish cunt.

im so afraid that theyre gonna use my favourite character to (quite literally) demonize bisexuality even more than it already is.

im so afraid theyre going to demonize bisexuality and throw it in our faces saying, “this is what you wanted, dean is bi” and fucking call it representation.

I read this post and kept scrolling last night. Then I thought about it for a full fucking half hour while trying to get to sleep.

I tried to decide what would be proper drastic measures if this actually happened in the show. Leaving en masse doesn’t seem like a thing that will happen. But for this it should.

I thought about Jim Michaels and Jared and Misha and everyone else who can be found on social media. As I’ve pointed out, people say every one of Jared’s tweets are problematic and he’s a horrible person, but people have forgotten that Misha made horrible tweets a few years ago, too, only he mostly deleted them when he got enough flack.

But that’s the major difference, really, isn’t it? I have avoided the SDCC noise but from what little I’ve read because my friends were hurting about it, Misha dips out of conversations, remains silent, or visibly cringes when conversations with and answers from the SPN cast become insulting and misogynistic.

Misha apologized to people at cons when they said, you know, Jensen really said something hurtful. He actually cringed and said he was sorry.

If people remember these posts, I’d like to see them and have them linked here. Misha has actually learned and has decided to change his behavior so he isn’t so mindlessly hurtful. I’m sure he ain’t gonna be perfect. Nobody is. But I’m not a wild Misha lover, and even I can admit it seems like he’s one of the few or only SPN cast and crew members who would like the hurting to stop.

So I stayed awake thinking about how much this person hurt. And how, maybe, though I don’t want to be in contact with the cast or crew, it’s time for me to start tweeting or fb messaging at members of the cast and crew and asking them if they could step back and assess if their words have been hurtful to fans.

I thought, well, that wouldn’t actually work, would it?

I could tweet at them the reasons why I feel like a responsible adult shouldn’t watch the show.

But that would only result in a kind of h8rs-get-out-the-way attitude.

I could tweet at them that certain things, like the OP’s concern above, if they’re on the show, would be as good as dehumanizing the viewers they’ve spent 9 years trying to tell to take pride in their humanity.

And I don’t think that would work, either.

I don’t think any of it would work. In fact, the more I’m unwillingly exposed to bits of SDCC, beyond their smiling, attractive faces, I see Jared and Jensen — Jared, to my specific displeasure, especially — weirdly drunk on fame?

It almost seems that way. Like they’ve spent 9 years listening to us whine and so now that they’re invited to have their opinions heard so often, they really just want to take the reigns and just flat-out tell us how it’s gonna fucking be, brooking no arguments.

The fact that I stayed up for a half hour trying to figure out how to protect a random person I don’t know from the potentially hurtful plotting of the SPN cast and crew is.

Pretty fucking despicable.

This show has reached a point where I want to protect people from it while simultaneously having some very little hope that it’s all jokes! and I can keep watching even if there are a few more eps like 09.08.

I guess I can watch around those ones. Avoid those ones.

And I shouldn’t. I should be fed up and disgusted with the entirety.

I’ve ended up feeling less human than the people who actually have left the show, if not the entire fandom.

It’s not like we can ask Misha to say something to his castmates. He’s riding under the radar, has mouths to feed, and always has that ax looming above Castiel’s head. If he gets to be more trouble than he’s worth, they just let it drop and fall back on all the bros-only fans who would be happy to see the J2 show, the man show that Jared seems to think is the appropriate weekly display for his adoring audience.

From what I’ve heard over the past week, it seems like the #AskSupernatural shenanigans resulted in

• the straw-grabbing assertion that Misha will remain on the show
• the condescension towards the fans that resulted in naming an episode “Fan Fiction”
• the condescension towards the fans that resulted in tossing some “half-musical” bullshit at us like, that’ll be everyone’s ball pit! That’ll make everyone happy! Wheeee!
• (because let me tell u something about ball pits)
• the assurance that women aren’t important on the show, just seeing more ~glorious men faces~
• the idea that watching Dean, the most wounded and truly human character on the show, spiral into visible self destruction as a demon will somehow be fun-fun times
• leaving us wide open to the possibility that Dean, as a character, will do some shit that the fans have been waiting for, but he’ll do it as a demon to prove that it’s not truly in Dean’s character

Because karaoke? At full volume? Not giving a fuck? We’re supposed to think that’s outside of Dean’s character? That’s only something he’d do as a demon?

I donno. I seem to fucking recall him belting out songs in the car a few times. I think it would take him a max of two beers and one gorgeous body to convince him that karaoke is something he could do. Where did the idea that he’s weaker as a human suddenly come from?

I don’t know. That’s like the one thing I’ve read and even that bugs me.

Look, I apologize for going off on the OP’s post.

What she says is important.

What I say is less important.

I just can’t say that I haven’t been trying to tear myself away from this fandom. It’s so screwed at this point that I can’t pretend I’m not posted up by the exits in case this thing takes a turn for whatever disasterpiece is running through Jared Padalecki’s mind.

It’s pretty disgusting that a show people have devoted time and energy to would make the people who admire it feel this way.

And this isn’t just a show on a Big Anonymous Network we’re talking about. Unfortunately we’re talking about a whole range of humans who work on several levels of the show and are easily accessible, through social media and con exposure, to the people they supposedly aim to please.

We’re talking about a show that has some of the biggest interaction with their fandom ever.

For that interaction to result in “let’s feed this virtual army of queer women and non-binary folks exactly what they don’t ask for because we’ve decided that’s right” — dude. Not even dogs get treated this way. When dogs don’t like a food, their owner tries something different. Just because the dog has to keep eating in the mean time, until you get to the store again, doesn’t mean they’re super pleased to be consuming trash.