Yesterday's Tomorrow

Men are weak.

I’ve seen women live in abusive situations, and in the morning, they get up, put on long sleeves and make up to hide the bruises, put on a smile to deflect the questions, and go to work.

I’ve seen women work in underpaid jobs (a landscaper makes a living wage, but a secretary doesn’t?! Bull fucking shit) with the threat of being “laid off” hanging over their heads, and they do it with a smile and make it seem easy while they’re being yelled at for things that are their boss’s fault. 

I’ve seen women want to complain about sexism and misogyny in the workplace, but not know how to without rocking the boat. Women are afraid of rocking the boat, because it could mean that they are out of work. How many men do you know are afraid of losing their job because their boss has asked them about the colour of their underwear?

I’ve seen women live in horrible situations because they can’t afford to move out. They can’t afford to get away from an awful parent or ex or current lover who treats them like a pet, who treats them like they are not a person and their wants and desires are irrelevant. 

I’ve seen men cry because they got laid off from work. I’ve seen men cry because they didn’t get laid. I’ve seen men cry because the job they had wasn’t paying them six figures. I’ve seen men cry because their car blew a tire. 

I have seen women smile the day after they were raped. I have seen women smile the day after they were beaten. I have seen women smile when their husbands swore at them and their children repeated it. I have seen women smile the day they were fired for “causing trouble” at work. I have seen women smile the day they were “laid off” for not sleeping with a co-worker. Or for sleeping with a co-worker.

Not all men, of course. But yes all women. Women are the strong ones. We are the ones who carry the family through tough times and the economy through recessions. We are the ones who stay when all others would leave, we are the ones who survive in places that others consider barren wastelands. 

The one thing I wish I could tell all of these women: You are stronger than he is. YOU DON’T NEED HIM. In the short term, maybe, but in the long term? You’re stronger than he is, and you’ll probably outlive him. So use him as a stepping stone, and move on.