I wish I hadn't found /r/foreveralone

jshap70 · 6 時間前

They think that all women only look at attractiveness because that's all that they look at in women, so they assume it's the same.

Emydura · 5 時間前

I got absolutely destroyed for trying to post some encouragement in there once. I suddenly realized how self-pitious, entitled, and angry those men are. For health reasons I may never have a partner and will probably die alone. I have no family, all this lead me to making the mistake of approaching that sub thinking it would be a comforting place. I was wrong. I'm a true forever alone, and sometimes I weep from loneliness, but I would never consider treating a human being the way they treat people. They are alone because of their behavior, because when someone like me comes along in need of a friend they set on them like rabid dogs intent to destroy.

Jluudles · 5 時間前

It's a chain of negativity and, simply put, easier to blame on other people than to own up to it and start doing something proactive. I've honestly never dated in my life, but im chasing the other 2.3 billion awesome things (like dancing yay!). The key is to never make excuses when you can bust a move.

You make a good point and in the end, only they can change themselves.

LittleRaven101 · 6 時間前

Well, the good news is what you see on that sub is probably the very worst angle these people could possibly present. A lot of it is probably thoughtless angry online venting and that's ok - we all have to vent sometimes.

But is true that a lot of people (male and female) get caught in negative feedback loops, largely of their own making, and drive themselves into very dark places as a result. It's tragic, but there's not much you can other than try and avoid being caught in the maelstrom yourself.

Grifty_McGrift · 5 時間前

I truly feel sorry for any woman who ever posts there and actually is open about being female. This is what I imagine it looks like.

soIamanewbie · 3 時間前

Wow, I just went there to see what you meant. A very sad subreddit...and I truly don't believe anyone can be forever alone. Sometimes people get stuck in depression and just can't seem to realize that it is them and not others. But that is a SAD place. Hugs OP.

cantblowmyself · 3 時間前

I have a friend that is 50 and has been single his entire adult life except for a couple of brief relationships.

His entire adult life he's been attracted to women in their early 20s with athletic builds. And he still is. And he wonders why he's still alone. I mean this causes him real pain and torment.

Eponia · 2 時間前

I won't lie and say that I don't care about looks but personality is way more important. I've met plenty of good looking guys that I just wanted nothing to do with after talking to them for more than ten minutes. I've dated guys that weren't very good looking and found myself very attracted to them after getting to know them because they were so much fun to be around.

My boyfriend is a good looking dude in my opinion, but he has scars on his face from his severe acne when he was a teen, they're pretty bad and he's very self conscious about them but I seriously don't see them anymore unless he starts talking about them. And he still has cystic acne, but I don't care. If anyone is so shallow they they won't be with a person because they have bad skin or bad teeth or they're a little overweight or not tall enough or some shallow bullshit like that then they're not worth your time.

But if you're a dick who acts like women everywhere owe you something because you're miserable being single, then you're not worth their time either.

mewfahsah · 2 時間前

I wish TRP didn't exist, it's like forever alone, but the assholes who can muster up something to talk to a woman degrade them psychologically until they're pretty much a slave to their partner.

AnotherDawkins · 4 時間前

Yeah, stay away from that black hole.

undertheaurora · 2 時間前

I nearly joined that sub when I first joined reddit a couple of months back. I was like: "Sweet! Other people that enjoy solitude and don't think a relationship is the be-all-end-all."

I figured I'd see posts like: "Retirement planning on a single fixed income with no children for support" or "Tips for making housework more efficient solo style."

I noped out of there quickly.

I'm okay dating, I'm okay being alone. If I meet the right guy for me, I meet the right guy for me, if I don't that's cool too!

Either way I learned a valuable lesson that day: do not take names of subreddits at face value and proceed with caution.

edit: a word!

jimd92 · 4 時間前

So they have significant problems and no significant other? Shouldn't they just have normal problems?

ByronicAsian · 1 時間前

The vast majority of the sub is self depreciating. Have no idea where you get have of that scribe from.

yiab127 · 59 分前

Look at many of the comments here, referring to "those people"; "these men"; "they". Way to dehumanize 33,870 people based off of a couple of posts. Is it any wonder some people are so bitter?

MEXISHIT · 49 分前

I go to /r/foreveralone because it's one of the only place where people can understand where I'm coming from. It's one of the only places where people on reddit don't give me predictable advice:

go to the gym!
dress nice!
fake being confident

Look, I'm an ugly piece of shit and I know it. People noticeably change their attitude towards me when I ask them even a pithy question about schoolwork like it's taking all of their mental fortitude to not run the fuck away. I do go to the gym four times a week and run everyday. And please note, I do this for myself and I don't expect anyone find me attractive based on that. I also learned fake confidence, but, you know what, nothing will fix my hideous face. I have been told this my entire life to varying degree by both men and women of all ages. Nothing I do will change that no matter how physically fit I am or how nice my clothes are. I can't change it. It sucks being in university where everyone else is gorgeous and having a good time, but you know what, I deal with it. All I want for an hour is a place where I can belong to and pen of those places happens to be foreveralone, because everywhere else on reddit basically makes fun of me and says how much of a burden I am on people for being "creepy" for any action I take.

The pity coming out of your comment makes me feel more like the worthless piece of shit that I am now.

Look, I'm sorry my pathetic life frightens you and you have to look at creeps like me everyday. I can't change that without shutting myself in or taking myself out. I know as a woman it's fucking scary to even walk past some ugly piece of shit like me, but please know I'm just trying to get by. I have never expected women to date me in my life, and I will certainly never hit on you, because, let's face it, 9 times out of 10 you'll probably never even notice me anyway. (Hell, I don't think all that theredpill or seduction shit would even work for a shit guy like me. It might even make me more of a piece of shit.) So please remember, some ugly people like me don't want to hit on you, they just want to get by in life.

That's it.

Sometimes I think reddit makes me more depressed because not a single day goes by where I have to read how much of a loser I really am in one subreddit or another. I wish people on here would just stop with this us vs. them mentality on here that it hurts that we all bicker. I get enough of that in real life. Speaking of other subreddits, one time I browsed amiugly and noticed how beautiful you people really are. I wonder what it would be like to be attractive and wanted for a day. But that day will never come to me. So please, let me have one moment out of my shitty day where I won't be judged by other people who are far, let's face it again, better looking than I will ever be.

So call me a creep, a loser, a fedora neckbeard, Elliot roger, and throw medical jargon to diagnose me on the internet as a certified loser today, but tomorrow please go back to pretending I don't exist. Once again, I'm sorry terribly sorry I had to burden you online as well.

HarryManilow · 1 時間前

To be fair, some of what you're saying is exactly what these FA types are so upset about. they see unattractive people with dates and friends and apparently happy lives and can't figure out why they can't have that too.

completely_apathetic · 1 時間前

Eh... I don't know if it's fair to judge how others react to mental and emotional pain if they're not actively hurting anyone.

SwansonSamsonite · 2 時間前

I think you misjudged that sub. It says "A subreddit for Forever Alone" not "A subreddit for Ugly Males Who Can't Get Laid". I get what you're saying but that's only one part of it.

If you don't know what is forever alone and can't relate to it, I can't explain it to you. From the way you write I guess you don't.

You went to school I guess. Remember that shy kid who got picked on? What do you think, what was life like for him after high school? I guess he "grew out" of being picked at, right? Yeah, maybe in American movies. Now imagine what thought process that kid has about meeting new people. That is just one scenario. How about mentioned above + being ugly? How about all mentioned + having a some sort of a disorder? People are dying to get to know somebody like that right? There are lots of reasons for being forever alone.

Complaining about nobody wanting to date them.

There were guys who asked literally 300 girls out, and every single one rejected them. How are they supposed to feel about it? "Have you tried, I dunno... working on yourself?" "Gee thanks, I never really thought of that. I'm now gonna go work on my personality."

I can say, hands down, I would never date these men because their behavior and understanding of women is so poor that it would be like trying to clean up a train wreck with a dustpan.

And where are they supposed to gather that understanding of women from? We're talking about Forever Alone. Sitcoms? Porn? Why do you think their understanding of women is the way it is?

Coming up with some formulaic number rating system, like math is why they aren't getting dates. And then acting like women all use something similar when deciding if they will date a guy are not. Agreeing with each other as to how attractive people are the problem and how if they find girls "in their range" the girls still go for hotter guys. They rarely mention a girls personality or attributes that aren't physical other than "we get along well" and then they seem to think women are only after looks and that's why they can't get a date.

I agree, but I can almost guarantee you would think similarly if you were in their shoes.

rqnadi · 4 時間前

Don't let any of them see this! They will remember your user name and down vote your entire post history into oblivion, and do it several times too. That is what they did to me for posting encouragement there. I try not to post at all there now because it's just so ridiculous. A few of the posts there are legitimately venting but for the most part I have to agree with you on all counts.

DualPollux · 2 時間前

[deleted]

rollswithandywarhol · 6 時間前

Well a lot of these people don't want to admit they're bringing this on themselves' and they can do something about it.

They could lower their standards or they could get in better shape but they'd rather just have this defeatist attitude and go have a pity party.

Its a defense mechanism like the fat women that seriously think they're going to get with an attractive man and then go whine and scream about how real men would appreciate their ~~rolls~~ curves.

sadtastic · 2 時間前

I looked at it because I thought it was for people who chose to not be in a relationship. Instead it was a depressing self-pity parade.

YaBoiTibzz · 1 時間前

You think people would act like that in real life? In all likelihood FA people are very nice and polite to girls in real life, probably a bit too much. I imagine many of them have social anxiety and are quite shy in real life. My thought is that their behavior does lead them to be dateless, but it's because they're timid and/or excessively bland IRL, not because they have such an unpalatable worldview. The unlikeable perspective on women comes after the fact, and is likely still never expressed IRL.

Additionally, like the rest of the Internet, the demographic is mostly young males--appearance does play a bigger role among youth (or at least I believe so).

eyesareitchy · 21 分前

I post on /r/foreveralone because its like /r/depression without all the bullshit uplifting garbage.

You're reading a sub full of intensely depressed people and telling them how much you hate them. You're literally validating their every opinion.

phweeb · 4 時間前

HUngghhhhhhhhhhhhhh ikr. "o m g why do she juz wane to be fransWZ??!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!" x infinity

nothing turns me off from a dude quite like "IM IN THE FRIENDZONN" like girls aren't allowed to have male friends or something jfc bro im sorry males are 50% of the worlds population but get the fuck o v e r it

JimTigernuts · 4 時間前

I'll likely be a lone voice here, but honestly, even though this is a rant, you sound like a pretty hateful individual. You've made your mind up that they are "whiny, annoying brats" and have firmly entrenched yourself in an "us and them" mentality.

I read through it far too long last night until I wanted to throw my phone I was so angry.

Why? Do you enjoy recreational outrage? Why should something that has absolutely no effect on you offend you so? Really, what is it to you if the members of ForeverAlone are the way they are? Just leave the sub be and move on. An attitude of "OMG how can these people be like this?" is not going to help.

anonymmonsta · 5 時間前

Thank you, OP. Contrary to popular opinion I really love reading this stuff. I was out of dying unrequited love declarations and this sub will totally fit into my rotation. P.S. They sound like such morons... attractiveness has little to do with looks, chumps. That's why you're losing the game.

nightoq · 1 時間前

As someone else mentioned: foreveralone is also a meme and so it's "standardized". My guess is that this flat notion about attractiveness is a returning theme included in to the whole vocabulary encompassing that meme, just like every other group has their special words/phrases. I think it gives a feeling of belonging to that group
To me it looks like the sub is like a collective pat on the shoulder telling people they're in fact not alone. So I'd say they're venting there like you said
The theme of "it's not my fault it's them" is to relieve stress. If you get rejected your very first thought is "I'm not adequate, it is me". I read a comment on reddit somewhere where someone said this let him "breathe" for a moment....

superluser · 28 分前

Hey, littledeadloveghoul,

I hear your frustration. I regularly post at the subreddit and I can get the same sense of frustration sometimes. The people who post there come from all sorts of backgrounds and have had a large variety of experiences. Some people handle the situation with more grace than others.

As for me, I'm working very hard at starting to date at 33, but I know that someone with a complex medical history like me (stroke, mobility impairment, epilepsy) has some disadvantages when it comes to love.

I certainly don't complain about other people for not wanting to date me, though. Everyone has preferences for relationships, and I do not want someone to settle for me if they would be unhappy. That just doesn't make sense.

The numerical rating system is certainly not something that I focus on when I think about dating. I know that there are studies that show that there is a consensus on physical attraction, but that that's not what people base relationships on. I try to find women who share some common ground with me and who I think I will get along with in a long term relationship rather than an intense, volatile, and brief romance.

But I've never had a girlfriend, and thus it's a bit hard to describe the personality of someone that I'm attracted to in any depth, as most of the women I can describe the personalities of are married.

I don't know what to do; I'm already in therapy working on developing intimate relationships. I find it helpful to talk about my situation with others in the same boat, though. I know that there are a lot of people in that subreddit with negative perspectives or issues with misogyny, but it's one of the only places that I can go where I can read other people's experiences that are similar to mine.

Does that help to explain things?

sour_peach · 1 時間前

Sounds like they all need to haul themselves over to /r/AskWomen and learn a thing or two.

sxeQ · 1 時間前

When you've had no, or very few relationships, in your life it's easy to think that you never will, and thus - /r/foreveralone is born.

new_romantic · 4 時間前

Such idiots - missing out on so much, and probably messing themselves up for real romance in the future too.

I'm going out with a girl who is a bit dumpy, not classically beautiful (though she has a face and a smile to die for). And she's lovely and romantic, and, here's a big point, amazingly hot in bed. Far sexier than my previous partner, who was closer to the standard beauty ideal.

People who pursue visible attractiveness rather than personality are fools.

ScarsTheVampire · 40 分前

They're a bunch of neckbeards. It's fucking called forever alone.

ReallyLegitAccount · 36 分前

Look OP, I see where you're coming from. That sub can be all too often full of misogyny and pointless self-pity, which is terrible, but you seem to imply that anyone can get a date or find love if they have a great personality and a good outlook on life. While it's true that many ugly, overlooked people can indeed end up happily in love with a ton of optimism/confidence/money/status/etc., it's very idealistic to assume they ALL can if they just "work on their personality". Louis C.K. explains it best.

For some people it's just like a support group, they connect with people with similar life experiences and share advice for coping with day-to-day loneliness.

Stthads · 10 分前

Fuckers need to hit the gym hard and start running. They are forever alone because they choose to be.

Sprezz_ · 47 分前

I seriously think more Elliot Rodgers will become the norm.

So many broken men (man-childs) out there.

Everyday I see women out performing men on all aspects. They aspire for more, work out more, want more from their partners, and they get a bunch of manchilds who do nothing but play video games and watch porn.

Seriously, video games and porn has ruined so many of these men. Simply that. In another era they would be soldiers or warriors, now they work some crappy retail job and masturbate and play video games and complain.... until they snap.

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