This is Thin Privilege

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Thin privilege is having your weight compared to smoking.

My fiance recently started smoking again, even though he has stayed cigarette-free for over 6 months. I asked him why he would go back to smoking when he knows how bad it is for his health. And his response was to scoff and say “I don’t know why you care about my health so much when you obviously don’t care about your own” then he looked up and down at my body.

WTF? I walk to work every day and eat healthy. I’ve always been a big girl but that doesn’t mean I’m unhealthy. I hate that my weight can be thrown in my face whenever I talk about health. It’s so frustrating that our society deems smoking as EQUALLY BAD as being big.

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Mod response: I’m torn on this post, because I really don’t like the healthistic attitude of the OP. 

Maybe we should just stop being jerks about the perceived health of others.

Maybe we should stop treating grown-ass adults who aren’t asking for our help like they are projects. Especially our significant others and family members.

Maybe we should grant people agency. Even people with issues around food, or drug problems. Maybe we should treat them with respect and stop trying to cut each other down in the name of “concern.”

Misplaced concern has to be one of the most insidious social evils of our time. It’s a way to socially neg someone, by putting them in the “you’re doing something wrong” and yourself in the “and I’m better enough than you to see it.” It’s a status climbing thing. It’s not about actual concern. Stop fucking doing it.

-ATL

PS: I know a lot of people are going to respond to this with “but doing X really is unhealthy and why wouldn’t you be concerned with a loved one doing that?” and all I can say is please re-read the part about agency, and about the other person being a grown-ass adult.

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Notes

  1. the-socially-inept said: I agree but at the same time being fat is not comparative to smoking. Smoking will lead to poor health and disease (but people can make their own choice about that), fat doesn’t necessarily. All for autonomy but I hate false equivalence.
  2. killerzebras said: Like others, my issue with smoking is that other people’s smoking impacts ME. Like right now, I have to close my windows on a hot day in an apartment with no AC because my neighbors are outside smoking.
  3. shawnnarie said: The difference is second hand smoking. It’s kind of like I don’t care if my friend gets blacked out drunk but I care if they try to drive drunk.
  4. fedoraharp said: i’m not gonna respond that doing X is unhealthy (whatever) but smoking is unhealthy to the people AROUND YOU. in that sense i’d say smoking is inconsiderate in a sense that is completely outside the healthism paradigm
  5. bringmeadragon said: Well said, mod. I think society has a really unfortunate penchant for condoning the policing of others’ lives under the guise of “health”. It doesn’t matter what it’s about; I don’t think it’s appropriate.