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Where did our compassion go? (self.AskMen)

submitted by Stevebutnotreally

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[–]TheDapperYank -2 ポイント-1 ポイント

I'm not religious, but there's a saying.

"God helps those that help themselves"

The "lack of compassion" comes from these people that complain but aren't willing to do anything about it. They sit there and mope around, talking about being chubby, not having any friends, insert other issues. Then when anyone here actually offers solutions they make excuses as to why they can't.

I was the really tall, super chubby nerdy kid in high school with very few friends.. You know what I ended up doing? I started eating better, getting in shape, and worked on being more social and putting in -||- much effort has worked wonders.

I'm not saying these people don't deserve compassion, but I'm going to reserve my compassion for people who aren't just looking to bitch and moan, but are looking to actually fix the underlying problems.

[–]Stevebutnotreally[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント

I think some of those people don't need solutions so much as they need emotional support, and that's what we're missing. You call it 'bitching and moaning', but I think that can be unhelpfully cold sometimes.

I think another common thing people always seem to miss in themselves is, "I went through horrible shit, so why can't you," syndrome. I do it too - 'I was miserable for years, and no one helped me, but I sucked it up and did it' yada yada yada. It's almost like a cycle of abuse in a way: "Hey, I was beaten as a child, and I deal with it and got a job and a life, so why shouldn't you have to go through that too?"

[–]TheDapperYank -1 ポイント0 ポイント

This is "AskMen" not "TellMen", so if you come here and are just looking to decompress "bitch and moan" you're in the wrong place. There are other subreddits where you can talk your feelings out till you're blue in the face, but if you're going to post here we assume you are looking for answers/solutions.

[–]twwwy [score hidden]

this is "AskMen" not "TellMen"

why don't you calm down and take it down a notch or 2? reddit, askmen or any other forum isn't your personal soapbox and others can talk about whatever they want on it. your experienced moderation/quality-control expertise isn't required necessarily. and the bitchy/moany vibe you speak of: i've hardly seen it posted here anyways.