Why I Give a Damn About #yesallwomen. {Adult Content}
“The women’s movement has really just begun. In this wave, I would say—you know—from what we can see from history, movements do seem to have to last about a century before they really fully absorb by a culture, or many cultures, and we are maybe 40 years into this one, so I think for all the great social justice movements, which are all connected, of course anyway. We probably have quite a ways to go, and we might need other waves in the future, before finally people are regarded as unique individuals, rather than groups.”
~ Gloria Steinem
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What is #YesAllWomen?
An outcry from the women of our world.
An outcry of repressed, unheard and denied voices speaking up about assault, rape, nonconsensual sex, harassment, sexual objectification, inequality, sexism and misogyny.
A much needed women’s movement on our planet.
“Me toos” have taken over, as the cry of anger gets stronger and louder. I can feel it vibrating from my screen, and pulsing in my veins as I scroll through the words of thousands of women and men adding their voices to the fight.
Women all over the world are empowering one another to stand in the light and take a stand after Elliot Rodger’s “War on Women” that killed six people and wounded 13 on May 23, 2014.
Elliot Rodger, a 22-year-old man living in Isla Vista, California resented the women who turned him down in the past, “starved him of sex” and “kept him a virgin,” and the “men who they chose to sleep with instead of him.”
He spoke freely of his hatred for women between his disturbing 22 YouTube videos and 141 page misogynistic manifesto. He uploaded a video onto YouTube the night before his attack titled, “Elliot Rodger’s Retribution,” where he spoke of attacking the very girls who represented everything he hated in the female gender—the hottest sorority of UCSB.
He believed that, “Women should not have the right to choose who to mate with. That choice should be made for them by civilized men of intelligence.”
He also proposed concentration camps for women, with only a select few allowed to survive for reproduction.
On the night of May 23, after emailing his 107,000 word manifesto, “My Twisted World: The Story of Elliot Rodger,” and killing three men in his apartment, Rodger drove to the Alpha Phi Sorority house and opened fire on women and men.
On May 24, the Twitter hashtag #YesAllWomen was created as an outlet for women to share their experiences surrounding sexism and misogyny. The hashtag spread like wildfire through the social media world, reaching 1.5 million tweets and 1.2 billion impressions, and peaking at 61,500 tweets per hour on May 25.
In my first five minutes of research online I came across a tweet that read:
Jenna Glatzer (@GhostwriterJG) May 31, 2014:
#yesallwomen because a man on the train stood behind me and began pressing himself into me and everyone pretended not to see.
I clicked “expand” on the post and read comments from several men. As I read, a slow, hoarse, momma-grizz growl escaped my lips for the women of this earth.
Mick hucknell (@MHucknell) May 31:
@GhostwriterJG You are aware that trains have seats so these things can’t happen right?
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Andy @AndyMiIIigan May 31:
@GhostwriterJG Hahahahahaha.
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Matthew Adams @BeefcakeAvatar May 31:
@GhostwriterJG It wasn’t my fault, it was a bumpy ride.
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Fatoush Hakbarah @hakbarah May 31:
@GhostwriterJG u look like a man
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Señor Suerte @NotTheBot Jun 1:
@GhostwriterJG I would have watched the whole thing and probably touched myself later.
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I am a woman.
I don’t identify as being a feminist.
I do identify as being an activist, and an advocate for human rights.
I have crowd surfed and had men touch my breasts and legs.
I do get my keys out of my purse and ready when I must walk to my car in the dark. I walk quickly, and I look behind me.
I once had a male friend, who I trusted, grab my boob and laugh when I angrily reacted in a public place, and none of the men surrounding spoke up for me.
I have had men in Indonesia surround me, leering, photographing and video taping me, despite my verbal objections and physical attempts to lose them on a ferry. I have had those very same men physically grab me and try and put me in a “taxi” that was a van.
I wear long pants and sleeves while leaving an airport so as to not call attention to myself, my body and the fact that I travel alone as a woman.
I have gone through phases of my life where my closet is full of men’s clothing and I have denied my divine femininity, because I wished to dodge unwanted sexual objectification of my body.
I once had a man follow me walking on a beach in Greece, jacking off in broad daylight as he watched me. When I went looking for support, I was met by three groups of people—male and female—who after hearing me explain furiously, my cheeks wet from tears, shrugged, laughed and told me, “so?”
I get more male attention for my legs than I do for my brilliant brain and red, beating heart.
I’ve had a general manager of a Joey Tomatoes in Sherwood Park tell me I needed to put some energy into my “work ethic and performance.” When I asked him how I could improve, he replied that I “needed to start wearing high heels, straightening my hair and wearing make up to work.”
I know a woman who has been forced against her will, abusively, to have non-consensual sex and told me from behind a bruised face the next day that “she asked for it.”
I was given bear mace as a gift when traveling to Thailand for the first time.
Many members of the opposite sex, including employers, have told me that my “sensitivity” is a problem. When men call other men “girls,” it is a synonym for being weak. I see my sensitivity and open heartedness as my greatest strength, and others inability to live from this place or respect it their biggest weakness.
All the women in my class were uncomfortable with the teacher of my junior high, known as “Mr. Touching,” who requested that no women wear jackets in his class, as a class rule and policy.
I took my first stand against sexism when I refused his “no jacket policy” and wound up in detention.
I want to pick up hitchhikers every time I see a thumb on the side of the highway, but if it is a man—I don’t stop.
“I need feminism because my vagina shouldn’t give me special treatment or shitty treatment, it should only give me ORGASMS.” ~ Shannon Roberts.
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From women on #yesallwomen:
Mayhem (@DavySunshine) May 27,2014:
Because what men fear most about going to prison is what women fear most about walking down the sidewalk #YesAllWomen
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Sophia Bush (@SophiaBush) May 25, 2014:
#yesallwomen because “I have a boyfriend” is more likely to get a guy to back off than “no”, because they respect other men more than women
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Deb Whitman (@DebAARP) May 29, 2014:
“Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it…without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” Maya Angelou #yesallwomen
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Natalie (@NatalieLeGreve) June 5, 2014:
“The reason a fetus has more rights than a woman in America is because a fetus still has the chance of being a man” #YesAllWomen
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Lili Stenn (@lphaedraa) June 5, 2014:
#YesAllWomen because when we put up posters in school to raise awareness about rape culture, they got taken down by the administration.
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Janne Robinson (@EudaimoniaJanne) June 10, 2014:
“We don’t want a pretty girl. We want a writer. Go home. ” @GloriaSteinem #yesallwomen
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From men on #yesallwoman:
Chris Speed (@TheDeadlyAngel) June 1st, 2014:
#YesAllWomen Rape should be legalized so when the rape happens it won’t be seen as a bad thing, it will save so many lives.
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Chris Speed (@TheDeadlyAngel) June 1st, 2014:
#yesallwomen if you wear a short dress then you deserve to get raped, just my opinion
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SLUT WHISPERER (@KirillWasHere) June 3, 2014:
#yesallwomen play hard to get and then cry sexual harassment when we play along
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Josh Groban (@Joshgroban) June 3, 2014:
Because we all know someone who has been made to feel like it wasn’t assault when it was #yesallwomen
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Danforth France (@danforthfrance) June 3, 2014:
Post a #yesallwomen post about my mom, get @-reply “jokes” from dudes. You’re making the ladies’ point, you dickbaskets.
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Albert W Dubreuil (@awdubreuil) May 24, 2014:
Started reading the #yesallwomen tweets b/c I’ve got a daugter[sic], but now I see I should be reading them b/c I’ve got two sons.
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Activism is my way of holding the world accountable for its wrong and hate. As an activist I hear the millions of voices who have spoken out through #yesallwomen and feel a burning fire inside my bones.
Do I think there is value in #yesallwomen? Yes.
Is it all feminist “male shaming?” No.
“The first resistance to social change is to say it’s not necessary.” ~ Gloria Steinem
This week SC Johnson Companies billionaire heir, Samuel Curtis Johnson III, confessed to repeatedly sexually assaulting his teenage stepdaughter and has received a prison sentence of a measly four months and a whooping fine of $6,000, because the judge ruled that he is a “productive” member of society.
Does Elliot Rodger ring any déjà vu bells, maybe the Montreal Massacre? Where in 1989, 25-year-old Marc Lépine separated men and women in a classroom of École Polytechnique and opened fire, shooting all nine women and killing six. He then proceeded to walk the halls targeting women in what he claimed to be a “fight against feminism.”
The attitude of the police in many countries often discourages victims from reporting rape: one study in Turkey found that 33 percent of police officers agreed with the assertion that “some women deserve rape” and 66 percent agreed that “the physical appearance and behaviors of women tempt men to rape.”
74 percent of women in Mali said that a husband is justified in beating his wife if she refuses to have sex with him.
Did you read in the newspaper article about the two girls who were raped, killed and hung from a tree in India last month?
Every 22 minutes in India a woman is raped. 98 percent of the rapes are committed by men. Many happen when young women and children go to the fields behind their house to pee, as there are no toilets in their homes.
“By the time the average woman reaches 60 years old she will have made $450,000 less than a man in the same exact position.” ~ Laci Green
At the end of the day, our world may have progressed, but by no means is the women’s fight for equality and basic human rights over.
I want to exist in a world full of empowered human beings—that includes both genders. I want to exist in a world where when women speak up about rape and assault, men don’t reply defensively with, “Not all men are.”
For we know that you are not all rapists, that all of you do not grab crotches in broad daylight, make sexist jokes and pop rufies in girls’ drinks. I know that when the majority of you hear the word “No,” you understand what it means, and back off.
I also am by no means saying women are the only victims of rape and sexual assault. Many women are predators and attackers in our world, and many men fall victim to rape by the hand of other men as well.
A 1997 report by the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics showed that 99 percent of rapists are male. However, when prison rapes are included in the statistics it has been reported that, according to the U.S. Department of Justice, “more men are raped in the U.S. than women… In 2008, it was estimated 216,000 inmates were sexually assaulted while serving time…compared to 90,479 rape cases outside of prison.”
So, this next part is important.
Although most women stubbornly want to claim independence and solve sexism, and misogyny on their own—it is not just women who hold the keys to a solution.
In order to create a space for women to exist safely, and equally—we will need men.
Saying that we “need men” in this fight does not take away my power as a female for I know that the only way to instigate a change is for us collectively to work together, that means both genders. We need to humanize our roles, throw away stereotypes, stop painting our babies cribs blue and pink.
So men, instead of wasting energy asking, “What about all the good I do?” and personalizing feminism as an attack against all men, acknowledge that in order to radically shift our world, we need you to stand with us.
We need men to stand right beside us in this world, we all need to ride on the equality bus together.
Stand up. And for those of you already standing—I see you. Thank you.
We need you. We need you to call the other men out when we can’t see you—at “guys night” where testosterone is running wild.
We need you to hold each other accountable for degrading behavior. We need allies who not only stand with us when we can see them, but more importantly in the moments we cannot.
We need allies who will help build a world where women don’t need to be afraid of abuse and rape.
We need men like singer Aaron Lewis, who stopped singing halfway through a song at Rockfest when he saw a group of men groping a 15-year-old-girl who was crowd surfing.
And women—we need to let them help us.
At a topless protest march that took place in Vancouver in August, 2013, where women “bore their breasts in the name of gender equality” to support Gwen Jacob (who was arrested and charged for “indecency” for walking topless under the Canadian Criminal Code in 1991), men were requested not to march topless. A close friend of mine told me over dinner that he wanted to go march to support the cause, but was faced with resistance from women to do so.
“The future depends entirely on what each of us does every day; a movement is only people moving.” ~ Gloria Steinem
And to those of you refusing to move with us, before you shrug off #yesallwomen as a bunch of hairy armpit man eating dykes and over reacting feminists, I’d like to ask you if you have a daughter. Or if you plan on having a child someday? Is there a chance she will be born a female?
One in four females is sexually assaulted in North America.
One in four.
Give a damn for her.
If you have a son, remind him constantly of how important the divine feminine is in our lives. Whisper to him each night to walk with tenderness, sweetness and ferocious might for the ones who exist beside him, regardless of gender. Implement strongly the worth, value and importance of females into his belief systems.
“We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons…but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.” ~ Gloria Steinem
And women of the world, I ask one more thing of you: speak. Speak as if your lungs require you to do so, each moment of your life. That is a vital first step in a solution. If you are sexually abused, assaulted, date raped, a victim in non consensual sex or rape—speak. Ninety-four percent of sexual assault in Canada is not reported. If you don’t report it, there will be another woman down the line in your shoes. It is our accountability to look out for each other—however uncomfortable, confrontational and challenging the process may be.
It starts now. It starts with you.
It starts with being accountable for one another—hearing these voices and cries drowning social media and reacting with compassion.
To any women who added their voices to the #yesallwomen movement—I give a damn about you. Thank you.
I will continue to use my literary teeth to tear more space in this world for you to speak freely and openly about your experiences. I am listening, and I want to hear more.
Your voices pave the way to a world I want to live in, a world I want my children to live in.
Relephant read:
Not All Men are Bad (& 9 Other Lessons for Women)
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Editor: Emily Bartran
Photos: Author’s Own; Imgur
Great job. Thanks for writing this… We all need to look out for each other!
Thank you Yoli! Yes, AGREED!
warmly,
Janne
Great content. Really, you hit the nail on the head for 85% of the article. But I'm really disappointed to see you be so opposed to feminism when you seem to embody the very ideals that feminism is comprised of. Feminism is not about, as you say "feminist 'male shaming'" and while there are certainly people like those you describe at the shirtless event, that exclusion of men is NOT a component of feminism. This seems to me like yet another case of someone who needs to learn more about what feminism really is, because it sounds like you don't really know.
You say "I want women to have worth. I want to exist in a world full of empowered human beings—that includes both genders." That, my dear, is feminism.
Feminism seems to have gathered a lot of momentum in the wrong direction, in the view of many men. In fact, just a couple years ago, I didn't identify as a feminist, because I thought it meant anti-men. But now I understand that it's not just the struggle of women, but the struggle of an entire race to rise above the hate and blindness that we've bred. Although, feminism is a fitting word, I think it deserves something more noble and equalizing, as there is no cause more noble than the advancement of our race.
'Feminism seems to have gathered a lot of momentum in the wrong direction, in the view of many men.'
With misogynists who strawman feminism, yes. They claim to have issues with feminism because actually, they don't like it, fullstop, they are terribly afraid of losing their male privilege, and their sense of entitlement makes it feel to them that they are losing rights that were in fact never rightfully theirs to begin with. Giving up the word feminist represents a capitulation to them, as absurd as a racial equality movement being asked to factor in the feelings of white supremacists. Men have, for centuries, abused, controlled, mistreated women, denied them their rights. Being angry about this, feeling the pain of the women who came before me (and these are close family members, my grandmothers, my mother, this isn't something in the distant past), does not mean I hate men and want to treat them the same way – otherwise perhaps I WOULD only want 'equality'. Men can work with us but I will not pander to them. I won't let them steal our words.
Many men do not seem to understand that you cannot achieve equality by paying attention to the group that is ALREADY advantaged. The cause of female liberation from oppression (which will result in equality) is a noble one, and if a man doesn't understand that he will not advance that cause.
I wish it was only misogynists strawmanning that gave feminsists their rep.
Unfortunately there are also those who are actually misandrists who masquerade as feminists in order to draw attention to their "movement". These are the ones who provide the fuel for those who attack feminism, or are the ones who give people the wrong impression of it.
Of course, saying things like "Men have, for centuries…" done such and such things doesn't help the feminist movement either. Traditionally, the male oppression of females is more a tradition or an institution rather than something that "Men do". There have been plenty of women who are at least as culpable as men in said oppression. I have friends who still can't eat in the dining room with their male relatives, and it's not the men who actually care: it's the grandmother.
The fact is, a lot of men take offense simply because of such broad-handed statements such as "Men do," and "Men have done" lump them in the same group as some very horrible human beings. They take offense because human decency says that the things they're being accused of are heinous and wrong, thus the statements of "Well, not all men."
Sensitivity is the key here. If you want to win a fight, you can't alienate the people who would be your allies. That's a pretty basic principle.
Yes! Wonderfully said. Part of my wall with feminism was the "anti men" because I LOVE MEN, and think there are mostly good men walking amongst us.
Thanks for your voice
That, is equality.
I love this. I just want to point out that there are more than two genders. I understand this is a fight for women equity…but shouldn’t this fight be for human equity? #wearehuman this is a great start, but u would live to see #yesall____ with every oppressed group. What we really need to win this fight is to educate. We’ve lit the fire now let’s pass it on and let it grow.
Hi Katie!
Did you comment on the main EJ page, I replied there too
I have come to terms that I am indeed 100% a feminist, you were not the only person who crumpled their face up and went, but wait? I spent over 40 hours on this article and in the beginning I truly did not identify as a feminist, and truthfully, maybe I didn't understand with it meant. After watching a 40 minute interview on CBC with Gloria Steinem I saw and understood, gently, what feminism was. Feminism can be thin skinned, that rocked my world. I am an activist, I have several expressions of my activism, my main work is with animals, I am also a daughter of two gay moms and battle for soul loving soul rights. Lastly, I realized that although I want to claim to be an "equalist", an equalist does not serve me, for our world is not equal. So I am a feminist, and when there is equality on our world, I will be a humanist and maybe then– men will need support, and I will be a maleist 
Thanks for your voice and challenging me!
> So I am a feminist, and when there is equality on our world, I will be a humanist and maybe then– men will need support, and I will be a maleist.
The reality is that men and women simultaneously have problems. It isn't as simple as "women are oppressed and men are privileged" – as if you can assign a single number ("men are at an 8 and women are at 6, we need to close that gap"). For example, males are only 42% of the college population. Males are 4 times as likely to commit suicide. They are 7 times as likely to die in a homicide. Men are more than 10 times as likely to die in a workplace accident. There are more men than women held as slaves around the world. Men's problems tend to go unreported in the media because it doesn't fit the current cultural paradigm of advertising women's problems, and many people fear that bringing attention to men's problems will distract from women's issues. If you think you need to me a feminist or a "maleist", then you're ignore the complicated reality that different genders can have different problems at the same time. I recommend looking at feministcritics.org for examples of ways that men's problems are ignored and hidden away.
Eliot rogers hated everyone not just women.
True, but he hated women extra. Although speaking of Elliot rodgers was relevant in introducing where #yesallwomen came from, he was not the point of the article. Just had to explain what sparked it all!
Janne
Yes but the majority of his hate was aimed at women. He hated most men for their ability to pick up women while he couldn't. This still goes back to his misogynistic views about women not sleeping with him
But only women matter. Haven't you learned anything?
but he didn't kill men.
Uhh, not sure which of the 50 news sources you weren't paying attention to for that week, but yeah he killed 4 men and 2 women. He was still a misogynistic and racist prick, but let's not get our facts twisted.
I'm not by any means trying to defend the notion that he wasn't fueled in large part by an incredibly messed up view* of women, but it's worth noting that he actually killed more men than women, if only to seem more credible.
*Saying that he simply hated them seems maybe a bit too simplistic, he apparently hated the fact that they refused to fulfill what he saw as their purpose of sleeping with him. Which seems like it might be a distinction worth making when the goal is to rid the world of his ugly views.
he killed more men than women
as long as sexuality is used as a commodity to be bought and sold and females continue to make a living off selling their sexuality then you are fighting a losing battle
you can thank all the female superstars like Beyonce and Lady GaGa and Rhiana and miley Cyrus when your movement fails because they are the one's keeping your sexuality up for grabs,controlled,exploited
#Truth
And now you sound like the men who assault women, blaming women for it. By saying Beyonce promotes rape because of the way she dresses is the same thing as this article stated. You obviously don't get it.
That's not what he's saying at all. He's saying that they sell their sexuality. Not promoting rape. No woman goes out there and promotes rape. Female superstars (as well as male superstars) use their sexuality to bring in more fans and more money. This isn't promoting rape. This man is just being realistic.
No one can "sell sexuality" if people as a whole were not taught to objectify. There is no market for sexuality if decent people come together and refuse to buy. In nature many species show off to the opposite sex in many different ways whether it be flashy plumage , a pile of collected stones, a built structure….. then the opposite sex shows interest but in all of these species the one showing off, the one trying to attract a mate still gets to choose out of the ones that show interest. Why should it not by looked at the same in humanity after all we are just another species. But instead we are taught that objectifying and slut shaming someone that dresses or acts a certain way is "normal" that with out specking they are "asking for it". As is said in the article BOTH men and women are guilty for perpetuating this and its time we all stop and take a good look at what really needs to change and it is not what people are doing , its the way they are thinking that leads to this. Thinking it is okay to objectify anyone male or female in a way where they are judged by anything but what they actually communicate that they want is WRONG!
Part of the problem is that "selling sexuality" is one of the many things that society does that teaches people to objectify. That's the point of this argument.
The sexualization of people in media teaches the masses that it's okay to objectify. Just like pornography, it teaches men and women of all ages that it's okay to look at another person as a gratifying hunk of meat, there to serve and to pleasure.
This is a wrong outlook, and it will not go away until people are taught better.
It is hard to teach people better when we're teaching them the opposite message through every media outlet that exists.
A woman should be able to be as sexually as she wants , and not have to worry about being a tease ect I should be able to lay in the middle of Times Square touching myself and although I find that tasteless I should none the less be able to do it and not have to worry about being raped wheelie imfind selling people in any fashion disgusting that's not the problem t the individuals who have been taught that mean she is asking for it and attitudes as such when a song like blurred lines can be number 1. We all have a problem
Touche, thanks Wendy.
If a woman chooses to dress "sexy" it doesn't mean you have a right to have sex with her. WTF. If a woman chooses to charge for sex, it's her prerogative, not whatever dude gets it up. I presume then, that men should get raped for walking around without shirts on… if their jeans are too tight. Seriously, what kind of person can justify forcing someone else to have sex? Hmmm… maybe those who can't get sex any other way.
It is messed Maricel! Truly, some people are wired that way and need to unwire.
Thanks for your voice!
And women have have zero rights to obtain commitments from men. You can do whatever you like. If a man chooses to convert to Islam and then go marry a 19-year old from Kosevo…. that's his perogative. Enjoy your cats in your old age, Maricel.
Sexuality is a commodity because there is a high demand for it. From who? Men.
Historically and presently, women choose to sell their sexuality because it is one of the ways that they can attain some sort of security or power for themselves. Until the 1900s (in the U.S.), very very few women have been able to hold respectable jobs or high paying positions. Yet women have needs too, to feel financially secure, to feel independent, to feel powerful. Those needs are not exclusive to men.
However, meeting such needs has been difficult for women, to say the least. Women's intelligence and brains were not appreciated or valued. Women's sensitivity, openness, and compassion were considered useful only at home with the kids. Women's physical prowess was deemed inferior to men's and thus obsolete. What else do we have? Our sexuality. No surprise then that many women have chosen to use their sex to obtain favor/powers/prestige/fame.
Do you think Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, and Miley Cyrus would be displaying themselves the way they do if we live in a society where women's intelligence was valued more than her body? No.
Do you think that girls would be posting barely clothed sexual selfies if we live in a world where women get more attention for doing awesome things like raising $100,000 for charity, running a company, or even planting an edible garden? No.
Take responsibility for your own actions. Are you going to keep doing something just because people still do it? That's called being a sheep. That's called laziness, complacency, and utter disrespect for your own integrity as a conscious human being who can change his actions. The opposite of evolution, might I add.
I thank all the wonderful men in my life who are grown up, responsible, respectful, and self-aware. They are rare. They are precious. And they are deeply loved.
Despite the fact that you, Jay, do not seem to have any of the above qualities, I hope you can actually find a woman who truly loves you for who you are, and not just because she is insecure and self-deprecating. And I hope you at least respect your own mother.
Hot Damn.
Everything you said, twice over again. That was so beautifully articulated, with grace and fire.
THANK YOU!
Just because their choices of portraying their sexuality for profit are understandable, does not mean that it doesn't also go to support the negative status quo. They are among those who help teach young men that that is what they should seek, and they teach young girls that that is a woman's path to power. Neither of these things help, which I think is what the Jay was getting at.
Also, if you pay attention, young men also try to post barely clothed sexual selfies. Nobody pays attention when a man does it though, because no-one cares.
I'm not trying to argue, but those two points seemed like it could be good to bring up. I agree primarily with the essence of your post.
the article talks about women (and men) coming together to obtain equal worth, so women are equally as responsible for perpetuating the cycle of "selling sexuality" as men. if there isn't a supply of women willing to sell their sexuality, then the demand from men means absolutely nothing. any famous female celebrity that promotes sexuality as a commodity only detracts from the #yesallwomen movement. women should be able to walk around during the day in a bikini or "suggestive" clothing without any sexual implications or threats from men. by the same token, women "posting barely clothed selfies" in an explicitly provocative manner takes away from the purpose of the movement. again, i am not saying that women are promoting rape culture by doing so, i just believe that women are providing the supply of sexuality as a commodity to meet the demands of men. if men and women, together, can work to decrease the 'supply and demand,' i think the movement will gain much more momentum instead of blaming only men for having a response to explicitly sexually provocative images, posts, etc.
Hi Jay,
Equal rights for human beings that have a "wo" in front of "man" will never be a losing battle, in my mind.
Cheers,
Janne
What about the men that do just the same? We can't control the actions of others, but we can control what we do and the voice that we want to be heard.
exactly my thoughts. if it wasn't for the media potraying women like sexual objects and the celebrities themselves in such a way perhaps this cause may survive
It doesn't matter what celebrities do (they're all just mere puppets anyways) that certainly isn't an excuse for you to still treat women that way. Think about your statement Jay.
Thanks Janne! Good article
You're so welcome! Thank you for the thank you
I am from Sherwood Park and attended the same Junior High you speak of. This article is beautifully, passionately written. Thank you for raising your voice and inspiring others to do the same.
Thanks for taking the time to write me Lindsay. Small world
I am a male Yoga teacher and I am around women all the time. It is reading about stories like this that made me want to be a yoga teacher in the first place, so that I could be a positive male in the lives of my students. It is sick and disgusting how men think now-a-days, and I personally do not keep any friends who do objectify women as I find it abhorrent and class-less. To be honest, and this is very sad, many times when I tell other guys i am meeting for the first time that I teach yoga, the first thing they ask me is, "So how many students have you had sex with?" It angers me down to my core at times because being a nice guy, all these douche bags ruin a lot of dating for the rest of us. I is unfortunate knowing that when i go talk to a girl I have just met, she may only be thinking that I want to get into her pants, which couldnt be further from the truth. I am not sure why the notion of being "manly" today has gone from being a provider and protector to how many women you can bed down. I am 26 and guys my age are always talking about how many women they have slept with. Being someone who can still count the number of partners I have been with on my two hands, I can still see all their faces, remember the women that they were at the time, remember what I loved about them in those moments. They were not notched on a bedpost, but women, human beings, who had an affect on my life. I just cannot understand how some men can be so insensitive… Maybe I was lucky that my mother was a strong woman and that my father respects and cares about my mother. I can remember one time when I was a lot younger, middle school age, and I was mean to an ex-girlfriend who still liked me. My mom found out and screamed at me for it and then explained what that feels like. Now Im just writing an essay that maybe one or two people will read… In conclusion, You Go Girls, I'm on your side and hope the consciousness will change for the better!
Ryan if there were more men like you in the world it would be a much nicer place for people to exist in.. :/
Yeah, ditto!!
Hi Ryan,
Thank you for sharing your story and for using your voice to not only support my own but the gazillions of other women on our planet. We need to live in a world full of more Ryans! I love the way your heart and mind works.
It's so very important to hear intelligent, well articulated men speak up on this issue.
You the bomb, diggity.
warmly,
Janne
I think it's very telling that you never use the word "man" to describe yourself. You only use it when you're disparaging men in general.
When I meet someone who calls himself a "male", I know I'm dealing with a self-hating misanthrope.
haters gonna hate…
Hi Ryan, the only part of your comment I'd like to address is where you say that you refuse to associate with people who think mysoginistically. I would encourage you to fight through that abhorrence in an attempt to show those men how they SHOULD be acting. People like that won't change as long as they're alienated to groups that think the same way. Try to stay calm in those situations and articulately point out what is wrong with their thought processes. Don't yell, don't scream, don't rant, just do your best to convince them of their wrongness. You may be the only person they will meet who is willing to stand up to their viewpoint. That's my only thought on your comment. Have a nice day, and thank you for being a decent human being.
Thank you Janne. Potent read, I feel moved and inspired. Keep going. I hear the rumble.
Rumble, growl.
Thanks for taking the time to say so
Hmmm. This was really interesting. On the one hand, the author made some excellent points and I applaud everyone who is keeping the #YesAllWomen hashtag alive and relevant. Yet I am extremely troubled by a lot o the things Janne Robinson says, and this goes with a lot of younger women today. There is an absolute misunderstanding of what feminism means, a rejection of feminism and disdain for it, at the exact same time she is espousing the values and principles of feminism! She writes that she doesn't identify as a feminist, then asks this outrageous question: "Is it [#yesallwomen] all feminist 'male shaming'?" Just like the "NotAllMen tag, Not All Feminists "male shame"> What the hell is that? (Yes yes I know what it is, I just know that is not what feminism is about.) What is wrong with women today that they don't know what feminism is? She later writes:" by no means is the women’s fight for equality and basic human rights over." Hi, Janne, that- "women's fight for equality and basic human rights"- THAT is feminism. Not male shaming, or man hating, or blaming, or a desire for female superiority or whatever the hell else you think feminism is. Then she goes on to this ridiculousness: "Although most women stubbornly want to claim independence and solve sexism, and misogyny on their own—it is not just women who hold the keys to a solution." Ummm, what women want or think they can solve misogyny on their own? Feminism has always been a movement that recognized both genders need to be on board for equality. And she concludes, despite the HRC equal sign on her cheek, with some lesbian bashing with this line: "And to those of you refusing to move with us, before you shrug off #yesallwomen as a bunch of hairy armpit man eating dykes and over reacting feminists,"—thank you for the stereotyping! That helps. I really enjoy the idea of a lesbian (even a butch such as myself) being someone who doesn't shave and who eats men through her uncontrollable rage and misandry. I only hope this #YesAllWomen drive causes more young women to really educate themselves on feminism and they learn not to insult their very allies when they are trying to make an argument for equality.
Hi Allison,
I have come to terms that I am indeed 100% a feminist, you were not the only person who crumpled their face up and went, but wait? I spent over 40 hours on this article and in the beginning I truly did not identify as a feminist, and truthfully, maybe I didn't understand with it meant. After watching a 40 minute interview on CBC with Gloria Steinem I saw and understood, gently, what feminism was. Feminism can be thin skinned, that rocked my world. I am an activist, I have several expressions of my activism, my main work is with animals, I am also a daughter of two gay moms and battle for soul loving soul rights. Lastly, I realized that although I want to claim to be an "equalist", an equalist does not serve me, for our world is not equal. So I am a feminist, and when there is equality on our world, I will be a humanist and maybe then– men will need support, and I will be a maleist
I didn't open with being a feminist because at the time of writing that it was honest, and also because if someone had a "feminist" wall they may stop entirely. I wanted to encourage people to just listen to my voice without hitting a wall because of a label. So THANK YOU, for calling me out and explaining to you–what feminism is. For it all means different things to each of us, right?
The women who want to solve feminism on their own are out there, they may not be a majority but as I stated in the article my very gentle, sweet, sensitive neighbor who is a man tried to go with some females to a topless march in Vancouver last summer and was met with resistance. Some women have been burned so bad (raped, sexually assaulted) that they truly do not want to accept support from men, which is hard because most men just want to show up and be there for us.
I would like to rewind, stop, explain and then fast forward. I mentioned above I grew up with two gay moms. I am a huge supporter of gay rights. No part of me was "lesbian bashing". There is a stereotype, a huge one that all feminists are hairy armpit, man eating dykes. Which is not true. I said this sarcastically, as whooping extermist streotype to further my point. Does that make sense?
I want the women who love women, the women who don't give a damn about shaving their legs, and also the ones that do, the women who have been burned by men and are learning to forgive and love again, the women who love men and can receive their support, and men, to be on my big fat equality bus!
Janne
Suffragettes were members of women's organization (right to vote) movements in the late 19th and early 20th century. It's been a little longer than 40 years. I am in support of another 100 years though.
So great! So much to learn and read.
I am glad to have you here by our side for the next 100!!
Thanks for your voice John
but being a suffragette and being a feminist are not the same thing. and equal voting rights do not equate to social equality!
i am a woman. among other things. i am frustrated by #yesallwomen. it seems to me, trying to individuate women in society's eye by lumping us all together in a monocultural blob is the opposite of what needs to be done. i am NOT all women. i am NOT the same as you. if both of us experienced a similar thing, we would still have a completely different feeling in our bodies. we would have a different response. label it differently. i do not agree. i get that most people think this hashtag/movement is helping, but i experience it as an onslaught of mindless culture zombies insinuating that i am a victim (albeit, an empowered to share my righteous indignation victim). i don't subscribe to that. i don't agree with that for myself or for you. i refuse.
Well, thanks for your voice. I won't repeat where I stand!
Janne
.. but the point is there are victims. You're very fortunate that you are not one. Women are victims, just for being women. If we can't stand up for our own gender, then how can we even expect men to? How can we ever expect to fully be equal if we don't treat ourselves as equal and stop shrugging it off as, "not my battle"?
thank you, carissa. you took the words right out of my mouth. and abby, whether you've been violated or victimized in a physical or emotional way, or not, you're still suffering from gender inequality in this society. the fact that you may not even be aware of it just goes to show how ingrained it is in our culture.
"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free." – Goethe
Yes Emily!
And I agree. Abby and wether we have a coushin here out west, in Canada and the USA. We seem to have found a small pedastol to stand upon, and in doing so lowered our flags a little. But, what about everyone else? What about the 200 plus girls who are still missing and the news has moved on to if selfies give us lice? What about in India where two girls were hung and their families were blocked from removing them as they were an "example"?
There is a war, and although you may not see it everyday in your eyes–I assure you its there, and deserving collectively of our world to put energy into shifting..
We need to stop existing from a place of "I" and "me" and start collectively giving a shit about all our sisters who walk beside us.
I find this last comment troubling. Abblylorenz disagrees with being lumped into the category of #yesallwomen, and it seems here like you are telling her that its not okay. She must stop thinking for herself, throw her "I" away and start supporting women like you think she should.
Of course you have a right to disagree, but I find these tactics worrisome.
If you are born with a vagina, womens rights should be your battle.
Thanks Carissa, bang on point.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU JANNE!
There is a certain pain, loneliness, and brokenness that comes with shunning one's divine femininity. As a kid I despised being a girl. Growing up I wanted to be "one of the boys" and acted like one just so I would not have to face their leery, misogynist, lustful, and uncomfortably sexual objectification.
Imagine being a 13 year old girl in a crowded NYC subway where disgusting men press up against you and try to feel you up. I got so mad one day that I took a man's hand and dug my fingernails deep. Later I looked and there was blood under my nails. Did I regret being so aggressive? Yes. Was it necessary? Yes. Because no one else on the subway even blinked an eye. Women and girls should NEVER have to be subjected to such behavior. We do not exist for men's sexual pleasure. We are here to exist and to GIVE LIFE.
Hi sandra,
I have also tried to play one of the boys, but I recently realized I love my womanness. I love my legs, my breasts, my wonderful delicious womanhood. If other objectify my body and make it sexual that is their own shit–not mine. So my frily skirts and long bohemian dresses are back out baby, and so is my femininity.
I am so glad that you dug your fingernails into his legs, this lit a fire for me reading it. I was laying in bed and read your words outloud to my new man. I was so proud, angry and moved by your words. It was neccesary, speaking our truth is!
Thank you for your words sister.
That was a great read, and it's nice to see the comment section contains more insightful comments than oblivious ones.
"Many men do not seem to understand that you cannot achieve equality by paying attention to the group that is ALREADY advantaged." – @Amphy64
Exactly right. The men who get defensive at the suggestion they benefited from a cultural advantage completely miss the point. It doesn't mean that individuals have not worked their asses off or have not made great sacrifices to achieve what they have. I'm a tall white guy who came from working-poor roots who struggled to get to the little place I occupy today. I worked hard for all I have, but in spite of that, a whole lot of the population have an even tougher road through barriers I *didn't* have to face because of my gender and complexion.
I know I was born on third base, but I don't act like I hit a triple to get there.
Todd,
Thank you for taking the time to write me, I hear you. Thank you for stepping over any triggers and seeing the bigger picture. For relating, and reacting and responding with such grace, and also for sharing your own experience.
I would gladly hang out at home base with you and chew hubba bubba and shoot for shit sometime
Thank you!
Janne
When the autopsy of the West is finally completed, cataloged, and archived and the abdominal cavity of its culture, society, and collapse is neatly sectioned by future historians (if historians still even exist in this dystopian future we are speedily heading toward), we will remember that Nietzsche was the prophet who laid the foundation for our doom. When objective meaning, purpose, and the self-evident notion that a transcendent Creator made all things are suppressed and rejected by the society at large, the collapse is only a matter of time. For you see, Janne, men with purpose have created virtually every technology, foodstuff, and economic market that have being to keep their women comfortable, well-fed, disease-free, and thus, able to progenate and continue the human race. But no, woman wanted the same privileges as man without any of the same responsibilities such as waging war, bringing energy out of the ground, and myriad other enterprises that incidentally lead to 92% of workplace deaths being male (even though we only work 57% of total work hours). You wage this "righteous" war of "equality" as if those words have any meaning, value, or purpose. If the sun is going to blow up in 4 billion years and the human race is going to go extinct anyways, what's the point of continuing to fight to exist? No, Janne, the nihilism that your worldview leads to knows nothing of the words "right", "good", or "just". All of your vain harping is merely the reverberation of matter that is destined to fizzle out into the darkness of eternal entropy. This is why the radicals in the Religion of Peace will win this war because they actually still believe in something that they believe to be worth fighting, dying, and procreating for. Feminism is one of the many bastard offspring of Marx and Nietzsche that has killed the soul of the Christian West. With that, I'll leave you to your delusion, Janne. And in the aptly stated words of my manosphere brother, Aaron Clarey…"Enjoy the Decline!". Romans 1:18-32
Sincerely,
an engineer, future physician, and bio-statistician
Can't.. even.. I don't even know where to start.
Holy crap, you are scary! I really hope you're trolling…
My thoughts, exactly. I actually read that, and shut my laptop with a sigh.
So much wrong.
Hello,
"For you see, Janne, men with purpose have created virtually every technology, foodstuff, and economic market that have being to keep their women comfortable, well-fed, disease-free, and thus, able to progenate and continue the human race. But no, woman wanted the same privileges as man without any of the same responsibilities such as waging war, bringing energy out of the ground, and myriad other enterprises that incidentally lead to 92% of workplace deaths being male (even though we only work 57% of total work hours). "
Did it perhaps ever occur to you that women wanted to be part of the creation but were denied doing so? Do you think every women choose to cook in the kitchen and exist solely to pop babies from our vaginas and raise them for their lifetime?
Women DO want the same privileges. My mom is the only airplane mechanic at the Vancouver International airport and although women in the trades are currently only 8%, that number is growing. We need more women in our world inventing and pushing our economy. But more importantly we just need people, free of gender doing the things they love.
Please don't forget Martha Coston who invented the colored flare that was used extensively during the civil war, or Admiral Grace Murray Hopper who invented the compiler, which translates English commands into computer code. This device meant that programmers could create code more easily and with fewer errors. And the next time you load your dishwasher, or turn your windsheild wipers on in the rain while driving–you bet, women in invented those too.
I hope you can someday remove your head from the close minded ground it is shoved in and take a look around you at a world that has shifted from the times you speak of. I hope as an engineer, and in the shop you do not live what you write, and that you treat the women beside you with respect and worth they deserve.
Sincerely,
Janne
Women have been fighting for a long time for even their voices to be heard. You wouldn't know much about the stars at all if a group of dedicated women hadn't volunteered their time to create the coding system that allows us to categorize the them, you wouldn't know much about the sun expanding to a red giant in 5 billion years, nor that the andromeda galaxy will collide with our solar system in three billion years. But as long as women and men work together and respect one another it's likely with our combined efforts we won't be here when that stuff happens. Because we'll have collaborated a way out. So no, the human race will not go extinct, and if you stop looking into the bible for answers and start inventing some, maybe you'll actually be a positive influence on the technological world, and our inevitable escape.
Loved this. Way too intelligent and well worded to be a feminist (those self associated with the term). Excellent article. Really solution focused. Loved this.Re-posting/sharing. It's rare to see someone pushing a solution, especially in this sphere. More common to see finger pointing, which doesn't do jack shit.
Popping into a touch of hypocritical finger pointing, I would warn that current (pop?) culture which many women support and many men reject, is a strong part of the problem.
Cough, Miley Cyrus.
One shouldn't glorify actions, archetypes, or situations then complain when that glorification becomes propagation.
But hey, these failures are minuscule compared to programs like DARE which encourage drug use.
Hi there,
Well I'd like to correct myself, and tell you now that this intelligent and well worded woman, is a feminist. I used to have a "feminist" wall, and while writing this article I became acquainted with what it REALLY meant, and I think you and I can both agree there is not equality across our world for women. So until there is, I will be a feminist, a man loving, thin skinned feminist who will speak loudly for the basic rights of human beings, regardless of gender. Maybe some day down the line I will need to defend men and I will be a humanist and a maleist, but for now– feminist I shall be.
thank you for sharing my words and your voice.
It all goes back to the DISINTEGRATION OF THE FAMILY!!! Teach your children love, respect and values at home while they are young and the world will change for the better. Choose not to and our civilization will continue to spiral out of control until we become lower than the animals and destroy our self's. There are no sides to be taken, we are all responsible for this mess and only together will there ever be hope of fixing it. Social media allows the debauchery of our society to have a voice to spew their filth and hate and it is a true glimpse of the horror that is spreading like a plague across the world. It can only be cured at home with Father and Mother who are faithful and love each other and teach their children how to love and respect those around them.
Yep, belief systems baby. I'm telling you. "If you have a son, remind him constantly of how important the divine feminine is in our lives. Whisper to him each night to walk with tenderness, sweetness and ferocious might for the ones who exist beside him, regardless of gender. Implement strongly the worth, value and importance of females into his belief systems."
That's the key, implementing worth.
Thanks for your time and voice.
Holy Shit Yes
Fist pound,
Thanks Jillian.
I love this. I just want to point out that there are more than two genders. I understand this is a fight for women equity…but shouldn't this fight be for human equity? #wearehuman this is a great start, but u would live to see #yesall____ with every oppressed group. What we really need to win this fight is to educate. We've lit the fire now let's pass it on and let it grow.
Hi Amy,
Yes! There are more than two genders, however this article was about the #yesallwomen movement directly. I wanted to address it in particular. Transgender is also important, all human beings. Human rights are all worthy of our time. You start #wearehuman and I will walk beside you.
warmly,
Janne
The "one in four" stat is a complete myth, real figure is close to 1 on 40, and has been declining in the past 2 or 3 decades. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNsJ1DhqQ-s
We should all probably be clear on what statistics we are referring to, here: the world? The USA? North America? ~ Ed.
http://www.assaultcare.ca/index.php?option=com_co…
2014 stats:
One of every 17 Canadian women is raped at some point in her life
A woman is sexually assaulted by forced intercourse every 17 minutes in Canada
Girls and young women between the ages of 15-24 are the most likely victims
80% of assaults happen in the victim's home
70% of rapes are committed by a perpetrator who knows the victims (relative, friend, neighbour, colleague, or other acquaintance)
Approximately one half of all rapes occur on dates
62% of victims are physically injured in the attack; 9% are beaten severely or disfigured
Statistics Canada has found that one in four girls and one in eight boys have been sexually abused by the time they are eighteen
Source: Justice Institute of British Columbia
warmly,
Janne
What about all those women that make porn movies? Aren't they objectifying themselves and promulgating this issue? Or like someone said earlier, even the scantily clad slutty pop artist like Miley Cyrus or Madonna etc. are promoting overly sexualized images of women as objects. I mean a lot of women promote that type of image so it's partly their fault as well. Or society as a whole… It's a complex problem for sure. Peace, Ted
I think Ted's comments are interesting and they illuminate a few things:
He seems to associate terms (quite possibly without realizing it- I do not make assumptions about how he relates to women) that may not merit association. "Scantily clad" is followed by "slutty" as though the terms were mutually inclusive. I had to re-read the sentence before I could identify what about it bothered me, because one following the other is so common in a sentence that the problem of the connotative implication is almost camouflaged.
To my mind, that just illustrates the pervasiveness of this problem. We are so culturally influenced by subtle sexism that equating clothing with sexuality is far too easy.
To Ted's question: No, I do not think that women are necessarily promoting their own objectification, but I do believe that our society exists within a very uneven distribution of power and sources of power between sexes, and sexuality is one of the only (possibly THE only) area where the balance shifts toward women. I think there should be a distinction between pop stars and porn stars may be exploiting that singular advantage and exploiting themselves, but either way it is their right to do so.
And to wit: Women were experiencing rape, sexual harassment, and objectification in the Victorian days of high necklines, long sleeves, and low-hemlines… as modern Muslim women wearing hajib and burqas in adherence to their religious beliefs experience it today.
Ted is right- it IS a complex problem, but it is not a new one. In fact, if you take the power imbalance into account, and concede to the adage that prostitution is the world's oldest profession, then it is a likely candidate for the society's OLDEST problem…
High damn time we "woman/man-up" and become better as a society.
It is NEVER a womens fault for being raped, ever.
Even if I am laying in your bed naked, after having flirted with you all night, wearing a short skirt showing my undies, and my boobs hanging out. And I ask you to go home with me, if I tell you "No", it means no.
Why do you find women scantly clad sexual? you used to be naked around your mom and sisters all the time, right? Nudity is over sexualized by our world, we need to unlearn.
Even pornstars, and street workers are not asking to be raped.
Janne
You're absolutely right Janne. I'd say that would be a pretty cruel thing to do to someone, and I would immediately leave without another word if a woman did that to me, but you're right that it does not in any way justify or make rape an understandable act. And anyone who thinks that a man or woman would be justified in continuing to press themselves upon that person is wrong in every way possible.
Modern feminism seems to delight in making all women victims.
This is what you got from this article?? Please inform us all where the author paints women as helpless victims. Can't find anything? Thought so. This article is tremendously empowering. By naming the misogyny and all the behaviours and attitudes that it is made up of, we then can move forward and build a better society.
Thank you Louise,
I'm going to reply with a "what she said" to you RhiRhi.
Almost every single one of these issues could be solved by women learning self defense.
right, because i should learn how to fight instead of men learning how to not rape.
EXACTLY! Thanks Emily.
You shouldn't have to protect yourself from people who SHOULD know about personal boundaries, common respect and morals.
ABSOLUTELY!
Dear Shania,
I disagree. Whole heartedly. Please take a second look at that belief.
We need to live in a world where men can contain their sexual urges and respect boundaries, but I DO agree that it is empowering to take a self defense course. And I feel that it is sad saying I encourage women to, but I do. Being safe is important, and unfortunately our world is not safe for all women to walk the streets yet.
the eternal victim
Hi Eli,
I am not licking my gender inequality wounds in the corner– I am speaking out loud about them and claiming back my power in doing so. As are many women. I walk this world as a warrior with ferocious might, but it was important in writing this article for me to dive into my past and let things surface I had repressed.
Thanks for your voice.
I can't help but feel as though articles like this would be better off making their point without using cases like Elliot Rodger. The points made in the article are completely valid, and I fully support them, but using someone with a clear mental problem as a case study on the need for feminism cheapens the other points made in the article in my opinion.
Elliot Rodger's viewpoint may have stemmed from a misguided notion of male entitlement, and such entitlement may well be prevalent within many men of our society (albeit in a less murderous form), but let's not overlook the fact that he was a psychopath. Someone with whom a good proportion of the male community has little in common.
Hi Will,
Elliot rodger was only necessary to write about as he is what ignited the #yesallwomen, which was the topic of this article. He was a fact in an intro, and that's all. He wasn't the be all, end all, or the focal point.
Thanks for your voice,
Janne
The existence of prostitution does not justify rape. Nor does the existence of porn, pop music or tight clothing.
Rape continues in our society because people fail to realize that regardless of what those around you wear, regardless of the music you listen to, regardless of what message you interpret from the media, regardless of social pressure, rape is never okay.
No matter the circumstances, rape can never be and should never attempt to be justified.
A.W
Preach baby, preach.
I am with you– where are we marching? Who cares– thanks anyways.
You rock.
#Yesallwomen because my attacker asked a judge to continue the case so he would have extra time to gather evidence of our friendship and my “promiscuous” character before the attack, and she granted it. I was at home in jeans and a long sleeve shirt when this occurred. If he is the one that threw me, held me down, and humped his dick on me until cumming, why is MY character the only one on trial??? We have such a long way to go. But I won’t give up. I will calmly tell my story to the court and let it be in their hands. I’ve done my part, and will continue to. I ask all of those that read this- stand up. Join me. Fight with me. Because I should not be on trial while my attacker laughs in court at me crying. Thank you for this article. I am so glad you are spreading the word. Lets go!
Hi summer,
Phew, sounds like you are going to bat against something difficult. Than you for speaking out of your experience. I would gladly take a baseball bat, knock on your attackers door and beat his dick in– I mean, wait, that wasn't graceful.
I send you strength sister, I am with you.
Janne
If women no longer want to be objectified then stop using your looks for free drinks, to get out of speeding tickets, etc. #YesAllWomen
Really?
Reaaaaalllllyyyy? Dear Quinn, stop buying pretty girls drinks and playing the victim.
And as a pretty girl, I get tickets all the same as you. If you want I can send you a couple I still haven't paid.
Janne
While the author has some points, this appears to me to be another rourd of "all women are victims and all men are predators." The author presents all these anecdotal stories of transgressions against her. I could list hundreds of other anecdotal stories of men who adore their wives and friends, men who would pound the stuffing out of any one of the author's predators, and women who turned on their fondlers, abusers, etc, and gave them a lesson they will never forget.
There are also many women who use their sex to manipulate men, so it can cut both ways.
I'm tired of stuff turning an entire group into victims. Instead of trying to make a movement with 100 some-odd characters, get out from behind the computer and start a movement giving more women the confident to push back, use legal methods and other things when they are or perceived they are wronged.
Hi Michael,
This article has reached 240,000 eyes. It has created undeniable movement and reaction. I am not saying I will not stand on the street and rally for womans rights, but why belittle it? Why belittle any change? Take the energy it took to comment on this article and channel it instead in bettering our world. You do you, and I'll do me and all of it will cause momentum and be of benefit.
Janne
I kind of hate myself for asking this, because it was listed amidst a bunch of awful and unacceptable experiences in an otherwise spot on article, but there's this internet dwelling smart ass in me that won't let me leave without asking:
Short of going to a women-only concert, how could you possibly expect to crowd surf without having men touch your legs? Breast's I'd definitely avoid touching, and the butt too if at all possible, but the crowd has to support the surfer somehow.
Hey guy,
I hear you. One must use hands to support anothers body. There is a difference between lifting a person up and sliding a hand beneath a shirt to cop a feel. Would you agree? I am sure many men have also had a women cop a feel of them as well, its not reserved for just women. It was necessary to say– and relevant for me with Aaron Lewis's brave, and justified reaction.
warmly,
Janne
Interesting metaphor, "One must use hands to support anothers body. There is a difference between lifting a person up and sliding a hand beneath a shirt to cop a feel."
Natalie (@NatalieLeGreve) June 5, 2014:
“The reason a fetus has more rights than a woman in America is because a fetus still has the chance of being a man” #YesAllWomen
I am sorry, but this quote is not relevant to human equality. It is cleverly worded, yes, but not true. The reason why a fetus has rights is because it cannot speak for itself, and it is a matter of taking a person's life – this is extremely sad whether it ends up being a man or a woman. Surely you can see the hesitation behind such an action of abortion and that is why those rights for a fetus exist. In fact, I would not say a fetus has more rights than a woman, but ONE large and important right – the right to live regardless of if the mother wants to deal with the responsibility of her actions or not…..not to say that this is always the case. Abortion needs to be a last resort option in some cases (such as if the mother's life is in danger, or in the case of rape – although I feel adoption is there as an alternative and would be a much more humane thing to do if possible), but at the same time it happens too much for such stupid reasons in this country, denying these unborn humans a right to live. I felt that this quote seemed to put an emphasis on the evil it is to be a man rather than suggesting human equality. Many people, like it or not, believe that a fetus IS a human being and ending their life without the fetus having a say in it is indeed a negative and corrupt thing. And this has nothing to do with thinking a woman is not equal. It is a matter of morality and having feelings of protection for the unborn child. Most people can see that whether a child is inside a belly or not, it can still get hurt and it is wrong to hurt (and especially kill) a living creature! This quote just supports another agenda that does not actually grant human equality to all, and is therefore flawed. Other than that, this article as a whole was spot on.
I used to be anti-feminism. I did not understand why women were so "crazy" about "inequality" and "poor treatment". I thought it was their own fault that they could not take responsibility for their own actions. I hung out with a fraternity (a lot of these guys I'm still good friends with) and used to laugh along to their sexist jokes and remarks about other women and sometimes myself… like comments about their/ my body, our hook ups, etc…
When I was raped while on a date (I said no SOOO many times. When he didn't stop I panicked and froze. I was so terrified.), I finally understood the situation and the point that feminists have been trying to get across. I dropped a lot of friends (male and female) since then because they couldn't see how it wasn't my fault or they would joke about rape and not get why I did not find it funny. The guys I'm still friends with in that fraternity were the ones who called the police and brought me to the hospital. They don't joke about things like that anymore out of respect for me and my sensitivity.
I reported the rape but I dropped the charges before they were even pressed because a very-sorry cop told me it was a losing battle to press charges in the state it happened in. Over a year after my rape, I feel so incredibly lost in how to deal with my realization that I had zero control during and after the situation. I am still trying to recover from PTSD.
The statics piss me off. NO ONE, female or male, should EVER have to go through this. I agree with your article for the most part and really enjoyed reading it. There is such a negative sigma associated with feminism that it tends to make people look the other way. The word "feminism" will only disappear when we finally reached a point where all people feel respected, understood, and safe. We, as a human race, need to learn to respect and understand each other more. No one actually listens to what is being said. Like I did with ALL of my college books that I was supposed to read, people summarize and miss the bigger picture. We need to be equal and know that if we say anything in promotion of our own happiness, the opposite sex (or even the same sex) doesn't feel offended and as if they need to defend themselves (like the "not all men". Because no shit. I know that not all men are like the one who raped me). I just have no idea how we are going to get there or what I can do to help the process (and I have been looking. I have such an emptiness now since that night)…. I think that's the saddest aspect for me.
Nice article. Humanist over Feminist if you are reaching for equality. Humanist Signifies Inclusion, feminist as a term may suggest otherwise. Generally men have warrior mind set, so, feminist movement may be considered a call to war if many of the ideas are targeted to at the wrong doing of man. Both men and women have built the society into what is today, that means women have always had important roles. We are all getting smarter, I don't think targeting one another is the way to reach equality. Because men/patriarchy do this, because women/matriarchy does this…. Think MLK Jr., black and white children, now we should just think our children's children treating each other with respect and dignity. Great parents uplift all not one over the other. It's not Patriarchy fault, it maybe bad parenting.
Laws must be made all around the world to protect women, What I've just read from guys in these tweets whatever is just gross, if I knew my sisters or may closest female beloved were forced to have sex, I would gladly go to jail after cut the guy or guys balls off. Men are just gross sometimes. We have to keep all together and demand our representatives to do something about it.
I'm a male, and I'm so glad to have had a good mother and grandmother teach me the virtues of respecting women, I am absolutely disgusted by some of the male comments that you(the writer) have shared…it saddens me to see someone say "well you wore short shorts so you deserved to be raped"…like really? Were you dropped on your head as a baby? No one deserves that kind of abuse. I feel compelled to apologize on behalf of the male population that are too thick to understand the issue, even though I do not need to but I personally have gotten in fights with men who were abusive to women in public. This crap needs to stop and I'm glad to see people take a stand for themselves. You're all WOMEN..not sexual objects…….and shouldn't be treated as thus out in public…to me the line is clear between flirting and unwanted advances.
First off, Elliot Rodgers said a lot of things about women, but actually killed more men than women. This post murkies that by saying "six people."
Second, that "poll" you posted… did you ever go to the website, http://www.fearus.org? You should.
There, you'll find the source of those numbers:
"In 1978, 432 adolescents, ages 14-18, were interviewed in the Los Angeles area."
Those numbers are from teenagers… over thirty years ago. Teenagers are notoriously idiotic, plus this was over a generation ago, when attitudes were different. Your use of this statistic is questionable.
Finally, actual rates of sexual assault have decreased, as reported by the Bureau of Justice Stastics:
"From 1995 to 2010, the estimated annual rate of female rape or sexual assault victimizations declined 58%," http://www.bjs.gov/index.cfm?ty=pbdetail&iid=…
…Which is exactly what we would expect, given that women's rights have gotten stronger while crime has decreased across the board.
You seem to have a good cause… why are you mis-using all of this evidence?
I really enjoyed this. It disturbed me to my core and hit very close to home. 4 years ago I was raped by someone I had known for a long time. When I went to the police they asked me what I was wearing like I instigated it! Needless to say they found I was wearing too provocative of clothes (straight leg black jeans and a nice shirt none of which was super revealing even though that should be irrelevant). The father of my child before she was born thought that because we were dating that when I said no meant that I was just trying to be hard to get and did it any ways. I am no longer with him. My daughter is now almost 2 and I am terrified at the horrible things that she may experience in her life. My heart hurts for all the women out there. I hope things begin to Improve soon!
This was a really interesting read. Thank you, Janne.
Thank you to all of the folks commenting as well. It's always fascinating to see a discussion furthered by intelligent (and occasionally less so) people with their own stories and ideas.
I have been confused by the notion of feminism recently, for a lot of the same reasons you and others have discussed already. This has made it all a lot clearer though, and has vastly increased my respect for those taking action to further the cause and make significant changes.
I very much identify with Ryan above, who talked about the damaging effect misogyny has on males, as well as females. I don't pretend for a second that it is in any way comparable to what women have to put up with, but it ultimately affects them in the same way. Folks like Ryan, who are great examples of the male allies you have expressed a need for, will continue to remain in the minority when they are constantly over shadowed by the operations of 'the lads'.
I personally consider myself a very loving person and have always had a great respect for women despite what society has unfortunately spoon fed me growing up. But it has got to the stage now where I am also fighting a losing battle to be able to show my support and respect. I find it very difficult to talk to women properly because I am a man, and the assumption from most people is that I think the same as all men. It is almost as set in its ways as misogyny itself. When the assumption from a girl is that we're only interested in talking to them for sex, how do we get around that to show them that there is hope for their cause and that women are not alone in their battle against inequality?
It's a complicated picture with problems coming from a number of angles, but I think it's all beginning to move in the right direction. And that is the result of an increasing number of intelligently written, and respectfully discussed articles like this one.
Well done, everyone.
And here's to you Ms. Robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you will know.
God bless you please Ms. Robinson.
Heaven holds a place…
Thank you for writing this. It is obvious you poured your heart and soul(as well as your research skills) into this spectacular and very comprehensive piece.
The Isla Vista shooting struck close to home for me in many ways. We all have struggles we deal with every day and his reaction to his own was so horribly atrocious and seemingly unforgivable. The silver lining(I'm sorry for using the term as it still seems to soon, but it is so apt) is that it seems to have awakened something is those of us who are activists. I'm so glad to hear you have embraced the term feminism; I've only recently accepted the term too. I formerly preferred egalitarian, but now I'm a proud feminist. I say it loudly, every day. I refuse to accept the taboo or stigma it and other terms of the movement carry like abortion or rape. We must talk about all of these, all of the time, in public and to our friends and family. Thank you for sharing your personal stories, they are what is needed. That is why I am so inspired by your article. Thank you for taking your time to research and write this. The hashtag #YesAllWomen has been a great place to focus and a rallying cry, but it is only a starting point…
This piece has inspired me. I've been trying to make myself write more than tweets and facebook posts and your piece was the tipping point. Thank you.
I only hope my silly, sad America can help those with mental illness much better after this and keep horrifying guns out of the hands of violent misogynists. For the last two years I've removed myself from American society, mostly because of people like the Isla Vista shooter and the culture that seems to engender his passions. I've lived in a cabin in the woods about five miles from Canada and I look longingly across the border at a country that seems like an oasis of calm and sanity compared to what America has become.
This piece was heartfelt and touching. Thank you for awakening me and sharing.
My only crit: "I don’t identify as being a feminist." You're quoting Gloria Steinem. For God's sakes, don't be squeamish about the word. It's been twisted enough. You want this world-wide change, you gotta love the F word. Just say it. The more people who say it in defiance, the better.
As long as women's rights we shall all be fighting animal rights. Women's rights are absolutely important, and let's also not forget the 10 BILLION animals slaughtered each year in the US alone. That's 10,000,000,000 animals for unnecessary consumption such as meat, dairy, and eggs. If you're interested in women's rights I think you have the chance of being interested in animal rights.
oh my goodness, that was tremendous and necessary and I wish that every single person on the planet can read this and have you as a friend, a mother, a partner, a daughter. Thank you
First of all I want to thank you for writing this article I wish every person on the planet would read this and others like it in an attempt to educate themselves and furthering our society. The one thing that really bothered me about this article is the fact that you stated "I do not identify as a feminist." By definition if you want equal rights and safety for all people regardless of gender, identification, or race YOU ARE A FEMINIST. I agree that male shaming isn't the answer and but feminist shaming is definitely not either. Feminist extremist have given all feminists a bad name, no one should have to feel like they have to put a disclaimer on themselves shunning the word feminist or feminism in order to give their argument more credibility . For change to happen we have got to stand up, band together, say what we really mean and recognize that feminists are not the enemy or problem. Putting all feminist in the same man hating, male shaming box is like putting all Christians with the acts of Westboro Baptist. Don't allow extremists to ruin a good thing for everyone.
So long as the dominant religions on this planet are patriarchal in their teachings and in their practice…..there will be less respect for women. I adhere to no religion, not because I don't believe in god, but because I don't believe in how religion has destroyed humanity. Rape….the selling of sexuality….prostitution…pornography and all the like actually occur because of the oppressive fear of religion. Open up your eyes and see the world…..don't blame women….don't blame men…..learn to love everything around you the same amount and the respect for and healing of humanity can only follow.