1
1918
1919

NSFW Video /r/allCrowdfunded Electronic Blow Job Machine Is Now Available for Pre-Order (betabeat.com)

submitted by Justdowhatever93

top 200 commentsshow 500
sorted by:
best
best
トップ
新着
注目
論争中
古い順

[–]strip_club_dj 355 ポイント356 ポイント

This will surely make the morning commute more enjoyable.

[–]xisytenin 293 ポイント294 ポイント

I've tried it, it blows

[–]raftah99 54 ポイント55 ポイント

you should be banned from reddit.

[–]xisytenin 76 ポイント77 ポイント

You're very kind

[–]shodanx 12 ポイント13 ポイント

Ah mercy ban, really

load more comments (1 返事)

    [–]NiggerPancakes 11 ポイント12 ポイント

    Particularly for those of us using public transport.

    [–]amaris1381 105 ポイント106 ポイント

    It seems like it would be loud.

    [–]Rope_And_Chair 42 ポイント43 ポイント

    Yeah that's what I thought as well. I'll wait for the reviews.

    [–]mruriah 60 ポイント61 ポイント

    http://www.supercompressor.com/vice/i-spent-the-night-with-a-sex-robot-the-autoblow-2-for-science

    [–]wmccluskey 35 ポイント36 ポイント

    Sounds like it's loud, awkward, and not so good: "It’s hard to explain the feeling as anything but weird. Very nice, but also vaguely familiar. For the most part, yes, it feels like you’re getting a BJ. But the mechanical sound and consistent motion takes you out of it."

    [–]throwitforscience 45 ポイント46 ポイント

    Oculus rift + headphones

    [–]wmccluskey 63 ポイント64 ポイント

    *noise cancelling headphones.

    I feel sorry for anyone who walks into that room...

    [–]ShatterZero 17 ポイント18 ポイント

    Dead grandmothers. Dead grandmothers everywhere.

    load more comments (1 返事)

      load more comments (2 返事)

        [–]m1n2b3 86 ポイント87 ポイント

        Is that short ass write-up enough to be considered a review? If I was sending out free auto dick sucking machines to journalists, I'd expect a bit more than that.

        [–]capt_choob 29 ポイント30 ポイント

        Did you want him to describe his orgasm?

        [–]cheesecakeripper 111 ポイント112 ポイント

        "At this point I'm just cumming dust, to be honest."

        [–]nunsrevil 3 ポイント4 ポイント

        He was obviously a little busy.

        [–]dreambits 4 ポイント5 ポイント

        I'll pick one up on craigslist for half price.

        load more comments (5 返事)

          [–]Kibitz1991 34 ポイント35 ポイント

          It looks like we will have to masturbate with both our earbuds in and volume on high... We'll be so vulnerable.

          [–]scriptingsoul 7 ポイント8 ポイント

          Better install some fans, oh wait...

          [–]ss0889 1 ポイント2 ポイント

          yeah, theres definitely more quiet motors available. theres plenty of silent vibrators, i bet he could have gotten a better motor and charged more money.

          [–]Duhya [score hidden]

          Guess people living with their parents will have to go manual.

          load more comments (1 返事)

            [–]FistOfPopeye 183 ポイント184 ポイント

            "Wave of the future, Dude. One hundred percent electronic."

            [–]Sleepytitan 175 ポイント176 ポイント

            "I still jerk off manually."

            [–]lazy-shell 34 ポイント35 ポイント

            "What, you gotta use your hands? That's like a baby's toy."

            [–]buttwheat 32 ポイント33 ポイント

            One day they'll be a video in a museum of a guy fapping and people will be all like, "what's he doing?"

            [–]inflammablepenguin 16 ポイント17 ポイント

            The used to call it "An Old Fashioned."

            load more comments (1 返事)

              [–]brendanvista 157 ポイント158 ポイント

              Hipster.

              [–]_grandpa_simpson 59 ポイント60 ポイント

              Casual.

              [–]hypmoden 26 ポイント27 ポイント

              Pleb.

              [–]knoxxx_harrington 28 ポイント29 ポイント

              Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, man.

              [–]GonzoPython 8 ポイント9 ポイント

              "I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars."

              [–]knoxxx_harrington 7 ポイント8 ポイント

              Brandt can't watch, though. Or it's an extra hundred.

              [–]fdsa4322 2 ポイント3 ポイント

              ha ha ha..... thats marvelous

              load more comments (3 返事)

                load more comments (38 返事)

                  load more comments (3 返事)

                    [–]OnDaBlockSlanginRock 264 ポイント265 ポイント

                    Now we just have to wait for the oculus rift.

                    [–]VladiMatt 227 ポイント228 ポイント

                    This + OR + POV porn = I'm never leaving my house.

                    [–]_Ganon 221 ポイント222 ポイント

                    Currently, you can launch SexVilla 2 (a sex game which contains a first person camera mode) through TriDef (which makes it viewable in Oculus 3D). I won't say I've tried it, I won't say I enjoyed it, and I definitely won't say that I experienced a great amount of shame afterwards.

                    But yes, a 3D Multiangular POV porn video would be awesome. Forget viewing a 3D porn video through the Rift, immediately take it to the next step and record it in a way that allows you to look up, down, left and right like you can with Google StreetView. Finally, a system where I choose the goddamn angles in the porn video.

                    I also think porn companies should get a lot more modular in their releases. I mean they should separate scenes by types of sex, like, you can still watch the entire 3D porn, but you can also say "I want to see girl 'X' do 'this'." and you could flip through scenes of her just doing that.

                    Basically, I have a lot of great ideas for the improvement of porn. I swear to God, if I had enough money to get it going, I could start a fucking awesome porn distribution of Oculus ready porn. It's a goldmine ready to explode. Forget 4K; actually experience it. Or just have regular sex.

                    Edit:
                    The classic "Thanks for the Gold" edit... but seriously, thanks for the gold -- it's much appreciated. I just deleted my old account of about 30 months a few weeks ago so this is a great welcome back.

                    Anyways, one of the things I wanted to post originally was the addition of repeatable sections of video. You know that one really hot part of the video you want to finish to? Forget timing, just set the section you want to repeat and have the player just repeatedly play that section until you're done or want to move on.

                    [–]6isNotANumber 65 ポイント66 ポイント

                    Gotta admire a man with a dream...
                    Stay hard, bro!

                    [–]GT5_k 21 ポイント22 ポイント

                    Tagged you as Cybersex Master.

                    [–]doublestufmarmalade 18 ポイント19 ポイント

                    I'm starting a company that does stuff like this. I would love to hire you as our idea guy.

                    [–]_Ganon 27 ポイント28 ポイント

                    If you're serious, I have a fairly reputable resume for my age [20]. Short and to the point:

                    • Rising Junior at University (PM me for better deets, again, if you're serious)
                    • Going for a BS in Computer Science (at one of the top Computer Science Uni's in the world)
                    • Can program efficiently in C, Java, Python, HTML, and can learn new tools or languages with ease
                    • Interning at a very reputable company where I design, integrate, evaluate, and program tools for developers (this is my second year there)
                    • Have a lot of experience watching porn and have no problem working for a porn company

                    I don't know what "idea guy" entails, but I figured I would include some stuff about me since it's kind of relevant. You can reply to me via PM.

                    [–]KillMeAndYouDie 27 ポイント28 ポイント

                    If this seriously gets you employed Im gunna post crazy ideas on Reddit a whole lot more..

                    [–]manwithfaceofbird 8 ポイント9 ポイント

                    I really wanna know if he was serious but I'm leaning towards no. Good try though buddy!

                    [–]hebl 5 ポイント6 ポイント

                    • No girlfriend currently

                    [–]MakingMarconi 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                    If those are your credentials, it looks like you might be a little overqualified for that position.

                    load more comments (4 返事)

                      [–]nwordpleasee 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                      I would love to invest in your company.

                      load more comments (1 返事)

                        [–]manwithfaceofbird 3 ポイント4 ポイント

                        Dude

                        Start a kickstarter

                        [–]Niggafromhouston 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                        wouldn't the actors would have to wear goofy ass google-street-view-esque cameras on their head to make that happen.

                        I can't imagine porn where everyone's wearing spaceships on their head very erotic

                        [–]_Ganon 3 ポイント4 ポイント

                        You'd definitely need some seriously talented actresses/actors. It'd be super awkward to film, but with the right people and the right tech, anything is possible.

                        load more comments (16 返事)

                          [–]nwordpleasee 24 ポイント25 ポイント

                          The future is now.

                          [–]habituallydiscarding 6 ポイント7 ポイント

                          This sounds a lot like playing the game Mouse Trap. All that setup time for 30 seconds of enjoyment..

                          [–]Nyarlathotep124 3 ポイント4 ポイント

                          My money cannot exit my wallet fast enough.

                          load more comments (14 返事)

                            [–]akpak 8 ポイント9 ポイント

                            And thus the end of the human race.

                            [–]darkpivot 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                            heh... (NSFW-ish)

                            [–]arcxjo 135 ポイント136 ポイント

                            It's hailed as the most realistic device of its kind ever.

                            Which is totally true, in that I can't afford one.

                            [–]Still_made_sense 34 ポイント35 ポイント

                            Stop with the hookers for a week, it's an investment long term.

                            [–]Lerry220 6 ポイント7 ポイント

                            How much?

                            [–]Ballistica 18 ポイント19 ポイント

                            $150 normally, $125 for preorder

                            [–]cre8tive1 36 ポイント37 ポイント

                            Still cheaper than having a girlfriend. ;)

                            [–]bigsnakejake 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                            :(

                            load more comments (2 返事)

                              [–]_Ganon 53 ポイント54 ポイント

                              The price doesn't bother me, it's the fucking box that would arrive at my house. I don't need a box that says AUTOBLOW-2 with a picture of a mouth on it sitting on my doorstep for six hours until I get home from work. Fuck that

                              [–]ughflowers 34 ポイント35 ポイント

                              Fleshlight uses the name ILF for billing and shipping purposes. You get a plain brown box from ILF. Only way someone knows what's in it is they're familiar with the product or are super nosey. No reason they couldn't do the same here.

                              [–]arcxjo 86 ポイント87 ポイント

                              Don't worry, it's shipped in a plain brown wrapper with the words "NOT PENIS-SUCKING MACHINE" stamped all over it in big red letters.

                              load more comments (1 返事)

                                [–]modelm4ever 21 ポイント22 ポイント

                                I don't need a box that says AUTOBLOW-2 with a picture of a mouth on it sitting on my doorstep for six hours until I get home from work.

                                I'd say a box marked as such wouldn't be on your doorstep when you got home. You think you're the only guy with a dick in your neighborhood?

                                [–]_Ganon 123 ポイント124 ポイント

                                I live in a pretty trustworthy neighborhood. If anything, I'd expect my neighbor to have picked it up for me, a nice old man, and would give it to me upon returning home. "Here's your sex machine, _Ganon!" "Oh thanks, Mr. Neighbor." Then he'll start telling me about how when he was a kid, he had to get his best friend to give him blowjobs and how he had to walk nine miles to school everyday and how blowjobs just aren't the same as they used to be. Then he'll tell me to let him know what I think about the AUTOBLOW-2 because his wife's mouth is as dry as her pussy and his best friend died in Vietnam.

                                It's not a pretty picture.

                                [–]AlexJVarlis 8 ポイント9 ポイント

                                easily one of the best comments I've seen on reddit.

                                load more comments (2 返事)

                                  load more comments (7 返事)

                                    [–]Rat_Bastard 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                                    If you don't pre order, 150 USD

                                    [–]TBones0072 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                                    $150 for sale this summer

                                    load more comments (2 返事)

                                      [–]Holdonillgetmytools 53 ポイント54 ポイント

                                      it set out to raise $45,000, and ended up with $280,247

                                      This says so much.

                                      [–]Etherius 597 ポイント598 ポイント

                                      Is there a good reason male sex toys are associated with shame?

                                      No one thinks this about vibrators or dildos.

                                      [–]Friendofabook 686 ポイント687 ポイント

                                      People keep saying "why" to this question. I'm not justifying it I'm just answering.

                                      It's because in our society (or at least in most peoples eyes) women are hot, sexy, and in control. They decide if they want sex or not, sex is not a "feat of accomplishment" for them. So there is no shame in having a sex toy since it doesn't really mean that you can't get any real strange.

                                      Whereas with men, having a sex toy equates to "lol jz go get laid m8, what a nurd". Since for men sex is usually a feat of accomplishment in some way and if you have a sex toy it means "you can't get the real sheez". This on top of the whole "alpha male" thing where men need to be alpha and awesome and have a heart that pumps raw testosterone. Which doesn't go well together with the fact that sex toys = dildos (or some other type of insertion stuff) in most peoples heads. Emasculating.

                                      Anyways that's my 2 cents.

                                      [–]xisytenin 142 ポイント143 ポイント

                                      Saving this so I can read it in my defense in case someone finds mine

                                      [–]loud_car 70 ポイント71 ポイント

                                      I wrote it out on a note card so I could memorize it

                                      [–]dafragsta 56 ポイント57 ポイント

                                      "Am I under arrest? Am I free to go? Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to put my dick in the mashed potatoes."

                                      [–]Kavis 19 ポイント20 ポイント

                                      For some reason, I thought you were going somewhere else with this.

                                      "... Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Do you understand your rights as I have read them to you?"

                                      "In our society (or at least in most peoples eyes) women are hot, sexy, and in control. They decide if they want sex or not, sex is not a 'feat of accomplishment' for them. So there is no shame in having a sex toy since it doesn't really mean that you can't get any real strange."

                                      [–]1st_thing_on_my_mind 11 ポイント12 ポイント

                                      As long as dont tell the officer that arresting you gives him a hard on. Seriously, dont do it. Not worth the trouble, I was told.

                                      [–]Jatz55 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                                      Mashed potatoes are so amateur. Pro tip: use the apple pie

                                      load more comments (2 返事)

                                        load more comments (2 返事)

                                          [–]sudomorecowbell 34 ポイント35 ポイント

                                          Then busting my nut in this gizmo will be my contribution to breaking down the cultural sex-toy matriarchy.

                                          [–]Supashibe 30 ポイント31 ポイント

                                          Autoblowers and fleshlights are exponentially less shameful than a man owning, say, a real-doll. That is where I draw the line

                                          [–]The_Great_Kal 21 ポイント22 ポイント

                                          Real Dolls, blowup dolls, those things are a shameful no-no for anyone. Fucking something that looks and/or feels like genitals is fine. Make a whole person out of it, it looks like you're trying to get something more than a fucktoy out of a fucktoy.

                                          [–]B1Gpimpin 8 ポイント9 ポイント

                                          I mean, i guess I wouldn't be so weirded out by the real dolls if they were just for sex. But the people who buy them seem to make a whole relationship out of it which is really strange and probably unhealthy.

                                          load more comments (5 返事)

                                            [–]SuperBlaar 21 ポイント22 ポイント

                                            Yeah, I think it's also because porn helped eroticize sex toys, which made them acceptable in the eyes of men, and the sex positive movement (and cultural stuff like Sex in the City which followed) made them acceptable in the eyes of women, as a way of "reclaiming your body".

                                            [–]Jack_Bartowski 7 ポイント8 ポイント

                                            Piece of plastic? This thing came from Bosnia son. You ever been to Bosnia? You ever been in the shit? Well my dad was, and he left me this pocket pussy, and every time i sink my humongous dick into this piece of plastic, I remember my dad.

                                            Happy fathers day!

                                            [–]robdabank 3 ポイント4 ポイント

                                            have a heart that pumps raw testosterone

                                            On some real levels. See a doctor if you have this condition.

                                            [–]blndcavefsh 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                                            So there is no shame in having a sex toy since it doesn't really mean that you can't get any real strange.

                                            Exactly. Finding an ugly girl's dildo is shameful, since it means that she's accepted that no one will ever want her. A pretty girl's dildo just makes her a nympho.

                                            load more comments (30 返事)

                                              [–]skullgrid 40 ポイント41 ポイント

                                              Masturbation is a fact of life for most men. My opinion is that we may as well make a relatively small investment to maximize the experience.

                                              [–]jimgatz 24 ポイント25 ポイント

                                              As a man who would use this electric blowjob machine only if I could afford it, I have to say the shame exists only if you let yourself be ashamed. I would use this and probably enjoy it.

                                              [–]tohryu 54 ポイント55 ポイント

                                              Going to be honest, I would get it if it was under $50.

                                              I wouldn't pay the $130/150 they are asking, because I would imagine it's the equivalent of massage chairs to a proper massage. Some people prefer massage chairs, but I don't, and don't want to pay stupid amounts for things I won't use more than a few times.

                                              I think that's the real difference with men's and women's masturbation aids, women have a "stepping stone" level in plain dildos that are bought as jokes then used out of curiosity where men can only dive head first and buy expensive toys without knowing what they are actually like.

                                              Plus, this toy literally entails you plugging your member into mains power.

                                              EDIT: speeling.

                                              [–]MrDTD 17 ポイント18 ポイント

                                              Good luck with that, $50 will buy you a decent sleeve, fleshlight, tenga or whatever. If you're looking for a 'trial' sextoy though, the Tenga Eggs fit that bill pretty well, single or limited uses, and under ten bucks.

                                              [–]hexsept 4 ポイント5 ポイント

                                              You can get a decent toy for under 50. Tomax toys has some really nice "Meiki"-like ones. It has the same natural wavy texture and you don't have to guess what it feels like but no porn star imprints. Personally, I like the Lilith, cheap and has a few tricks.

                                              The fleshlight is an over engineered piece of capitalism. It's not bad because it's easy to clean and prevents death grip syndrome (just masturbate less) but I feel like the textures are just so... blocky.

                                              Do not bother with the eggs. Invest that money in some lube like IO water based or PePee gel. Io is the best and cheapest while pepee has the texture of snot. It's not just the toy, it's the lube too. I worked as a sex toy reviewer, I should know.

                                              [–]tohryu 7 ポイント8 ポイント

                                              Whelp, I know what I'm spending an hours wage on this week. Off eBay though, because it's stupidly expensive in stores in Australia apparently (we don't have Amazon).

                                              [–]ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN 21 ポイント22 ポイント

                                              Wait... You don't have Amazon? I'm actually surprised by this. I kind of assumed that most if not all of the first world did.

                                              [–]tohryu 6 ポイント7 ポイント

                                              Most do, Australia/NZ gets the bum deal with international companies due to ridiculous shipping costs, they can't keep low prices. Also, tax.

                                              From Wikipedia: "Amazon has separate retail websites for United States, United Kingdom, France, Canada, Germany, Italy, Spain, Australia, Brazil, Japan, China, India and Mexico, with international shipping to certain other countries for some of its products. In 2011, it had professed an intention to launch its websites in Poland, Netherlands, and Sweden, as well. An Austrian website operates as part of the German website. As of June 2014, it still does not service Australia or New Zealand."

                                              It says that they have an AU site, but that only serves Kindle ebooks, then clarifies at the end that they don't serve Australia or New Zealand.

                                              load more comments (1 返事)

                                                [–]t3hcoolness 3 ポイント4 ポイント

                                                Used?

                                                [–]tohryu 9 ポイント10 ポイント

                                                That's how you know it's not a dud, pre-approved!

                                                [–]Windows_97 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                                                shudders

                                                [–]SGTHOTDOG 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                                                Yeah, plus used sex toys are the best sex toys. At least that's what my mom always said.

                                                [–]evilbrent [score hidden]

                                                No no no. You don't make jokes about your own mum. You make them about mine. sheesh.

                                                [–]Stalked_Like_Corn 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                                                I have heard wonderful things about the egg.

                                                [–]MrDTD 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                                                Not as durable as the full sized Tenga 3d, but it's great that a company made a trial product that you don't have to spend $50+ dollars on to even try it out.

                                                load more comments (1 返事)

                                                  [–]hexsept 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                                                  There are plenty of 50$ automated masturbators from Japan. Plus, you can switch out motors and sleeves.

                                                  load more comments (3 返事)

                                                    [–]skw1dward 15 ポイント16 ポイント

                                                    Implying dildos aren't male sex toys.

                                                    [–]Aerik 33 ポイント34 ポイント

                                                    primarily men shaming each other for not sleeping with women. Same as always.

                                                    And then, there's the advertising some of these producers actually make. Or the products themselves. The fleshlight is meant to be disguised, which is fucking pathetic. Then variants of it say things like "the best part about sex without the bitching" and shit like that.

                                                    [–]DoIOffend 9 ポイント10 ポイント

                                                    Kevin Smith advertises for them with the tagline "The second best thing to fucking my wife"

                                                    load more comments (1 返事)

                                                      [–]DarkSayed 5 ポイント6 ポイント

                                                      I believe it's just a reflection of the asymmetry between how easy it is for men to get sex vs how easy it is for women to get sex.

                                                      [–]SibilantSounds 15 ポイント16 ポイント

                                                      I've heard the argument that it's because women's sex toys are made of material that's not weirdly fleshy, while men's sex toys are generally strangely humanoid squishy stretchy material that lands squarely in the uncanny valley.

                                                      It's along the same lines of why we find the androids with weird humanoid skin creepy. It's really the only convincing argument I've heard as to why male sex toys get that bad rap.

                                                      Edit: too many square landings.

                                                      [–]BurtMacklinFBI 17 ポイント18 ポイント

                                                      Exactly. I think male sex toys could take off if they started trending away from anthropomorphism. No more flesh colored sleeves designed to look like Bree Olson's butthole.

                                                      What I want is something like the auto-blow, but inserted in the side of a adjustable height cylinder, something that looks like a trash bin. You could stand in front of it, rest a drink on it, put a mouse and keyboard on it perhaps. A blowjob bot. R2-BJ.

                                                      [–]ChrissiQ 9 ポイント10 ポイント

                                                      A lot of women's sex toys are also made out of fleshy material.

                                                      Source: used to sell dildos

                                                      [–]topkekdeck 3 ポイント4 ポイント

                                                      Yea but the physics are cometely different. A fleshlight bas to expand and maintain the same propertjes. All a dildo has to do is not crumble in on itself.

                                                      load more comments (1 返事)

                                                        [–]Quixotic_Delights 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                                                        Lots of square landings in the male sex toy department

                                                        load more comments (1 返事)

                                                          [–]gerudo_pirate 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                                                          I'd think a Crowdfunded Electronic Pussy Eating Machine would be just as weird tbh

                                                          load more comments (65 返事)

                                                            [–]Hatewrecked 25 ポイント26 ポイント

                                                            What a time to be alive.

                                                            [–]dance_sans_pants 96 ポイント97 ポイント

                                                            WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

                                                            [–]NutHips 105 ポイント106 ポイント

                                                            Rick and Morty: Ep 7 "Raising Gazorpazorp"

                                                            [–]gebadiah_the_3rd 31 ポイント32 ポイント

                                                            "And the sex robot for my grandson"

                                                            [–]quart_tanks 5 ポイント6 ポイント

                                                            The air outside is poison!

                                                            [–]MangoUno 6 ポイント7 ポイント

                                                            "Morty Jr! Are you SMOKING?"

                                                            [–]big_dick_is_back 16 ポイント17 ポイント

                                                            instructions unclear, got stuck

                                                            [–]xisytenin 8 ポイント9 ポイント

                                                            EVERYTHING

                                                            [–]admiralallah_ackbar 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                                                            28 yo male presents to ED in acute distress.

                                                            Chief complaint: patient states "a goddamn robot ripped my dick off"

                                                            Describes pain as 10/10.

                                                            [–]PowerLondon 73 ポイント74 ポイント

                                                            If you build it, they will come.

                                                            [–]hobolicker 22 ポイント23 ポイント

                                                            Does it have wifi, gps, and bluetooth?

                                                            [–]ProbablyFullOfShit 32 ポイント33 ポイント

                                                            I hope it has Facebook integration.

                                                            [–]capt_choob 24 ポイント25 ポイント

                                                            ProbabyFullOfShit just came. Be the first to like this.

                                                            [–]hobolicker 14 ポイント15 ポイント

                                                            hobolicker has invited you to play Brosturbation. Sign up now to receive 25 bonus strokens!

                                                            [–]achshar 7 ポイント8 ポイント

                                                            ProbablyFullOfShit masturbated 5 times today. Tally your scores!

                                                            load more comments (1 返事)

                                                              [–]Lucien_Midnight 13 ポイント14 ポイント

                                                              Can't wait for the MKBHD review.

                                                              [–]Mikeahya 5 ポイント6 ポイント

                                                              It does have Wii U NFC integration. Dat Wario voice pack ...

                                                              [–]LunarTinkerer 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                                                              Do you want it to post your current "status" to Facebook while you're in a call with your grandmother?

                                                              [–]Mousse_is_Optional 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                                                              I hope so, then it can update all my friends on facebook!

                                                              Mousse_is_Optional lasted 42 seconds with Autoblow 2

                                                              [–]MightyYetGentle 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                                                              what about the 3G's and teh GB's? I gotta have some of that.

                                                              [–]runetrantor 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                                                              Next up they link it to their next product, a cyber dildo, it randomly links two users, so its like remote sex.

                                                              load more comments (2 返事)

                                                                [–]warmshart 51 ポイント52 ポイント

                                                                It sucks that it doesn't suck - it just strokes. Which sucks. It's not a blowjob machine, it's just a wanking machine. And that blows...

                                                                [–]macaroni_veteran 16 ポイント17 ポイント

                                                                I think that the lubricant that you put in it is what makes it feel like a blowjob. As a giver of blowjobs (and a pretty damn decent one, at that), the "sucking" aspect of a blowjob isn't constant at all, and a good blowob can be performed with zero "sucking". I think it just might emulate the feeling pretty well, with the addition of lube.

                                                                [–]skwibby 31 ポイント32 ポイント

                                                                That feeling when you read a sexy comment but then realize it's probably a gay dude not a hot chick.

                                                                [–]macaroni_veteran 17 ポイント18 ポイント

                                                                It's a hot chick ;)

                                                                [–]Ericcccccc[🍰] 11 ポイント12 ポイント

                                                                You sure?

                                                                [–]aaybma 5 ポイント6 ポイント

                                                                RIP your inbox.

                                                                load more comments (2 返事)

                                                                  load more comments (2 返事)

                                                                    [–]GoyzllMensch 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                                                                    As a receiver of blowjobs, I have to point out that yes, a good blowjob can be given without sucking. But a GREAT blowjob can't be.

                                                                    load more comments (1 返事)

                                                                      load more comments (1 返事)

                                                                        [–]apsaf 19 ポイント20 ポイント

                                                                        That spam comment is so fitting. Gotta respect that market research.

                                                                        [–]OPisanasshole 36 ポイント37 ポイント

                                                                        Andre?

                                                                        http://imgur.com/dyBhwQ1

                                                                        [–]GX6ACE 6 ポイント7 ポイント

                                                                        Doctor Andre no dick?

                                                                        [–]zbaile1074 3 ポイント4 ポイント

                                                                        Child, try the veal

                                                                        load more comments (1 返事)

                                                                          [–]Shinokiba 14 ポイント15 ポイント

                                                                          Finally, technology has made something that will actually benefit mankind.

                                                                          [–]WhiteLightningz 22 ポイント23 ポイント

                                                                          Errr looks like I'm on the small side :(

                                                                          [–]therealdrag0 13 ポイント14 ポイント

                                                                          Don't worry the real male average is just over 5": http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis_size#Erect_length

                                                                          [–]PedroLosGato 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                                                                          Yep, though I think the internet is really having a negative affect on every dude's ego what with the porn and the constant yahoo answers threads, though fake, of that 11 year old who isn't sure if having a 20 inch dick is normal. It's good for guys and girls to understand just how "small" average is, so they aren't walking around calling a dude tiny when in fact he just happens to not be "hung."

                                                                          I was with this one girl last year and when I whipped it out and raised the flag pole she said to my 5 and a quarter pecker "Oh wow! That's like, what? 8 inches?" Apparently her ex boyfriend who was about the same size as me told her he was 8 inches. I had a great laugh of relief to be honest. So yes, rock what you've got whether less or more than the "average."

                                                                          [–]hoodis [score hidden]

                                                                          http://i.imgur.com/bsNrs1u.png

                                                                          load more comments (16 返事)

                                                                            [–]cre8tive1 6 ポイント7 ポイント

                                                                            Pretty sure he was joking.

                                                                            [–]PedroLosGato 5 ポイント6 ポイント

                                                                            Lord have mercy I was going to say... if the sizes in that video were meant to be accurate sign me up for the blow job machine for ants.

                                                                            [–]viJilant 12 ポイント13 ポイント

                                                                            The motor is rated to last over 500 hours, or for 1500 solo experiences.

                                                                            So.. give or take about a year?

                                                                            [–]Patrickfoster 70 ポイント71 ポイント

                                                                            /r/takemymoney

                                                                            Edit: shut up and

                                                                            [–]meeshkyle 27 ポイント28 ポイント

                                                                            /r/shutupandtakemymoney

                                                                            [–]xisytenin 24 ポイント25 ポイント

                                                                            /r/shutupandtakemypenis

                                                                            [–]cheesecakeripper 8 ポイント9 ポイント

                                                                            /r/shutupandgivemypenisback

                                                                            load more comments (4 返事)

                                                                              [–]Patrickfoster 4 ポイント5 ポイント

                                                                              That's what meant

                                                                              [–]asshatnowhere 3 ポイント4 ポイント

                                                                              are you buying something or getting mugged?

                                                                              load more comments (1 返事)

                                                                                [–]Zephyr104 10 ポイント11 ポイント

                                                                                So this is how human civilization ends. Well at least we've had 6000 years of recorded history, it's been a good run.

                                                                                [–]Iamagingerdaywalker 65 ポイント66 ポイント

                                                                                I know this is supposed to parody the fact that this toy was crowd funded but kind of curious about the dichotomy between female and male assisted masturbation. The very fact that the topic of electronic assisted male masturbation tools is placed in a sub called /r/nottheonion (while I could see something akin being crowd funded for females being placed in a more serious subreddit) seems interesting to me. What is it about assisted male masturbation that is so shameful/funny/taboo compared to women that it is (while it not being dinner conversation) more readily accepted as socially acceptable behavior.

                                                                                [–]Unique_Name_2 41 ポイント42 ポイント

                                                                                I agree mostly. But I think a cunnilingus machine would also make the subreddit. Masturbation is one thing, this emulates a human activity.

                                                                                I know dildos are dicks sometimes.

                                                                                [–]D4nnyp3ligr0 12 ポイント13 ポイント

                                                                                It already exists. It's called the Sqweel.

                                                                                [–]Unique_Name_2 7 ポイント8 ポイント

                                                                                Oh. That doesn't appear to be much of an emulation but I didnt look at the blowjob machine as that accurate either.

                                                                                load more comments (4 返事)

                                                                                  [–]Burnd1t 29 ポイント30 ポイント

                                                                                  I'm totally going to buy one of these for a friend as a joke.

                                                                                  [–]ProcrastinHater 57 ポイント58 ポイント

                                                                                  friend

                                                                                  joke

                                                                                  Suuuuuuuuuure.

                                                                                  [–]FragmentOfBrilliance 18 ポイント19 ポイント

                                                                                  I sure do love playing pranks on my friends.

                                                                                  [–]NeedsMoreShawarma 6 ポイント7 ポイント

                                                                                  I'm gonna prank my friend so hard...

                                                                                  [–]camahan 11 ポイント12 ポイント

                                                                                  Choo choo, brojob, brojob, brojob!

                                                                                  [–]BigBuckBunnyB 24 ポイント25 ポイント

                                                                                  Well, looks like it's time to stop putting up with my GF's complaining.

                                                                                  [–]NiggerPancakes 10 ポイント11 ポイント

                                                                                  #YesAllMen

                                                                                  [–]ShitEatingDog 4 ポイント5 ポイント

                                                                                  Someone should sell a motor upgrade.

                                                                                  [–]DeterrenceTheory 5 ポイント6 ポイント

                                                                                  Motor rated at 500 hours, equaling 1500 solo experiences.

                                                                                  They clearly don't know their clientele.

                                                                                  [–]factoid_ 20 ポイント21 ポイント

                                                                                  People will say this is weird and gross. Yet elaborate vibrators for women are totally normal

                                                                                  [–]NeverNewd 10 ポイント11 ポイント

                                                                                  The dude in the video has to be purposely trying to be andre from The League... the only thing he's missing is the lisp.

                                                                                  [–]terminal11235813 5 ポイント6 ポイント

                                                                                  Surely it would be less awkward to have an attractive woman selling it rather than that guy, right? That way I could buy a blowjob robot without having to admit to myself that that guy and I are pretty much the same guy.

                                                                                  [–]bluehands 3 ポイント4 ポイント

                                                                                  IT WAS EARTH!

                                                                                  Don't Date Robots!

                                                                                  [–]TomFromKanto 4 ポイント5 ポイント

                                                                                  Unless I missed it, how has nobody posted this yet? http://www.theonion.com/video/new-wearable-computer-also-sucks-your-dick,33017/

                                                                                  [–]saibot0224 11 ポイント12 ポイント

                                                                                  Just what I needed. I was looking for a way to stimulate my wiener by plugging it into the electric grid

                                                                                  [–]VladiMatt 4 ポイント5 ポイント

                                                                                  Toaster?

                                                                                  load more comments (1 返事)

                                                                                    [–]PathOfLightPOL 13 ポイント14 ポイント

                                                                                    Can't be any more expensive then buying axe body spray, affliction shirts, roofies and drinks.

                                                                                    [–]BallsDeepInDaPope 10 ポイント11 ポイント

                                                                                    Hopefully it will also collect stats and scores that you can share on facebook to brag to your friends

                                                                                    [–]xisytenin 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                                                                                    /r/PSA

                                                                                    [–]vtjohnhurt 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                                                                                    You could take care of business while you take care of business.

                                                                                    [–]Hip_HipPopAnonymous 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                                                                                    What did they do to R2D2!?

                                                                                    [–]kcapulet 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                                                                                    Holy crap, the guy in the video is the real life Dr. Andre Nowzik

                                                                                    [–]Wikiwnt 2 ポイント3 ポイント

                                                                                    I can't wait to read about the accidents...

                                                                                    [–]level1hero 6 ポイント7 ポイント

                                                                                    Instructions unclear, dick stuck in ...hey wait a minute

                                                                                    [–]speaktodragons 3 ポイント4 ポイント

                                                                                    When alien historians visit the ruins of human civilization they will point to this device as the beginning of the humans decline.

                                                                                    [–]ImBoredToo 6 ポイント7 ポイント

                                                                                    /r/offbeat

                                                                                    [–]corkyknightrider 40 ポイント41 ポイント

                                                                                    /r/beatoff

                                                                                    [–]kintamagaureshii 5 ポイント6 ポイント

                                                                                    "If you know a man, who might benefit..."

                                                                                    Translation --> Share it with all married men.

                                                                                    [–]ProJokeExplainer 5 ポイント6 ポイント

                                                                                    So there's no actual suction, just some plastic rings going up and down?

                                                                                    How is this simulating a blowjob? What kind of shitty head has this dude been getting?

                                                                                    [–]C0N_QUESO 4 ポイント5 ポイント

                                                                                    Women have just lost a little power.

                                                                                    [–]MrMikeHunt 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                                                                                    Quick where's my credit card

                                                                                    [–]spyder22446688 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                                                                                    Love how this article is posted from Beta Beat...

                                                                                    [–]Destroyer_Wes 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                                                                                    Shut up and take my money

                                                                                    [–]Svm420 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                                                                                    This won't even work in the shower how fucking useless.

                                                                                    [–]GarbledReverie 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                                                                                    IsTheOnion

                                                                                    [–]Phrenchie 1 ポイント2 ポイント

                                                                                    Why is Andre from The League selling a fancy fleshlight?

                                                                                    [–]PhreaksChinstrap [score hidden]

                                                                                    Have you seen the exotic shit people make for girls to stick in and around their vaginas? Why is one electric sex toy for guys on r/nottheonion?

                                                                                    load more comments (160 返事)