MLP Civil War: Letters from the Battlefield

The war against the Tumblr separatist rebels rages on, as troops are called up from as far away as FunnyJunk and FIMfiction, to meet the threat. The Union forces (who are now being called "Yank-ees" due to the separatist's accusations that bronies are all chronic masturbators) have scored a major victory against their Confederate brothers, in a battle called "Entymology Hill"
The charge of Entymology Hill, led my Major Genderal General M.D. Gusty, cut deep into Tumblr's lines, choking off their dwindling logic supply.

His strategy? Flanking the Equestrians and blowing a hole right through their post (by revealing that the word "Equestrian" is actually inherently masculine in nature and therefore NOT gender neutral). With the tenants of slavery Equestrianism called into question, the resolve of the rebels is on shaky ground.

While many separatists have either surrendered or joined up with the Yank-ees, the conflict continues, and some soldiers have grown weary of the fighting. We have intercepted some of their letters to loved ones, collected from the battlefield. Readers are encouraged to play this music while reading the accounts of the turmoil.

One soldier pledges his resolve to rescue his beloved art from tyranny.

One soldier writes from the site of the Battle of FimFiction, a contested neutral territory, that was won on behalf of the Union.

He wrote back after the charge, to let his loved one know he survived the mission. He promises to bring home a bounty from his service, both from pay and from looting.

Few sites saw as many sides lost as FunnyJunk, where those exposed to the battle were sent to recover after their sides were torn apart with laughter at the rebel advances.

While many men thought of their waifus, others who were tulpa-less wrote to their Mothers and families back home. This one was addressed to "Mumsie".

This one to a brother, safe from the conflict, far off in an anime fandom that has never seen such devastation.

Many believe that the end of the conflict is close at hand, as reinforcements from Reddit's "MLPlounge" reserves, and the 81st Derpibooru are called in to reinforce Ulysses S. Capper's forces to corner "Stonewall" Pawsmilk's Army at Tumblrmattox. The drunken General will force them to surrender, and admit that they are being ridiculous unconditionally.

"4 years and as many seasons ago, our mother brought forth on our television, a new series, conceived in Friendship, and dedicated to the proposition that Trixie IS the best pony." - President Sethisto Lincoln at the Quads-Get'ysburg Address.