The Trayvon Martin tragedy has been an eye-opener to me. I’ve been pretty sympathetic in the past to anti-racist activists, but have mostly stayed on the sidelines. At times, I have even questioned the stridency of the rhetoric, wondering if it was really warranted in the case of something like an unintentionally stereotyped character depiction. I never expected, though, to see the same racist arguments trotted out when someone has literally died, and to find myself trying to talk sense to people who feel like their hurt feelings over the mere implication that they might be racists trump the death of a child. It makes me sick. So from here on out, I am hereby radicalized, and I apologize for every time I may have unintentionally defended one of these dickwads, in public, or in private, by suggesting a debate was getting impolite or out-of-hand. I now realize it is all part of the same fucked up pathology, and it needs its ass kicked even when the stakes don’t seem that high.
I think the most important thing that white people can do when racism is a subject of public discussion is to shut the hell up. Your white fantasy of the perfect colorblind society is wrong. Colorblindness and “treating everyone the same” is inherently racist, because it provides cover for a lot of sneaky, underhanded abuse. I even wrote on that theme in my story, “Midnight on Tabula” in the Dec. 2004 issue of Analog.
But for white folks who feel compelled to get into discussions about racism online, how can you avoid being called a racist? Well, I would recommend not saying racist stuff. The problem is that most people who are not white supremicists are dealing with unconscious racism, and when behavior is the result of an unconscious thought pattern, it’s really tough to identify it without help. Just about everyone suffers from unconscious racism. When I went to Vancouver, my realization that 60 percent of the population is Asian exposed some of my unconscious racism. I was then able to analyze and process it, and now I’m a slightly better person.
If you don’t want to be called a racist, here are a few simple rules you can follow, even if right now you can’t understand what they’re for. I was going to get all bloggy and explain each one, but I decided not to, because everyone needs to figure this stuff out on their own.
Don’t use the N-word. Just don’t.
Don’t complain about not being allowed to use the N-word.
Don’t say “I’m not a racist.”
Don’t explain why you’re not a racist.
If someone calls you a racist, use these words exactly, “I’m sorry I offended you. I won’t do it again.”
Do not vary from the script. Don’t insert the word “if” at any point.
Don’t explain to people of color why something is not racist.
Don’t explain racism to people of color.
Don’t tell anyone, ever, that they are being oversensitive.
Don’t deny or dismiss someone’s experiences just because they don’t match your own.
Don’t dominate the conversation. Listen twice as much as you speak.
Calling people out on racism is painful, unrewarding work. Don’t mistake it for someone’s hobby.
Don’t use phrases like “you people” or “that noise about racism” (example from recent kerfuffle). Always be respectful.
Be willing to learn and change.
Instead of arguing on the internet, go read some books about the civil rights movement.
Don’t make the conversation about you and your own hurt.
Don’t try to turn things around and say that calling out racism is itself racist. That’s bullshit.
Remember that if you oppose people who are protesting racism, you have just aligned yourself with White Supremicists and Neo-Nazis. Congratulations. Don’t like your new allies? Then make a better choice.
I’m sure I could think of lots more tips, but the key takeaway is that whenever you find yourself called a racist in any conversation, something has gone wrong. Either you have miscommunicated your position (it can happen), or the other person has identified certain attitudes that reflect some actual unconscious racism on your part, and they are doing you a favor by pointing it out. If you can’t own it, at least don’t torture people with ten thousand words of flailing about how you’re not a racist. Instead, get off the internet and do some reading and thinking about why you keep giving people the “wrong” impression.