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Discrimination against men? Sexist double standards [x-post from r/rage] (youtube.com)

submitted by Rawtashk

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[–]Sarsk -28 ポイント-27 ポイント

I'm probably going to get down voted like hell for expressing this opinion, but here goes.

Perhaps we could look at this fear of pedophilia as a symptom of rape culture? Please bear with me on this. I mean, many women live in such a way that we are always weary of possibly rapey scenarios - we are trained to assume the worst in order to be safe. I'm not saying that I think all men are potential rapists, I do not think that at all. However, when I go out at night I am always so aware of myself and how I can avoid situations where rape could be a possibility. For example, I often have to catch the bus late at night to get home from work. I was always careful I sat near the driver and in a well lit part of the bus at night because many times men have ignored empty seats on the bus and sat with me, trying to get into my personal space. At the bus stop two men surrounded me and tried to engage in conversation even after I mimed that I couldn't hear them with headphone on and wasn't keen to talk. They actually removed my headphones so that I wouldn't ignore them. I was so aware of myself and my surroundings in that moment : Did I have something I could use as a weapon in my bag, which direction would it be best to run in if need be, was there anyone around that could help me?

I think, oftentimes women are in these kinds of situations and in a state of high alert. The unfortunate affect of this could be a transference of our concerns onto our children when we have them, as well as a sense of distrust when it comes to men.

I find this so upsetting as I have worked in childcare and have seen the emotional distress many of my male colleagues experienced due to worrying about how every interaction with a child came across.

Perhaps if we address possible root causes, these sorts of injustices wouldn't happen so often?

[–]alhazrel 7 ポイント8 ポイント

It's strange to me that you seem to have a fear of exclusively rapists. Not muggers or murderers or people out to beat someone up for the thrill of it.

That's the stuff I worried about walking home on dark nights.

[–]Sarsk -2 ポイント-1 ポイント

Where I live there's as high a risk of sexual assault as there is regular assault. Plus, I find sexual assault more frightening because it's harder to recover from.

[–]Pyehole 13 ポイント14 ポイント

SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH THE RAPE CULTURE BULLSHIT

[–]DeathbyCheerios 4 ポイント5 ポイント

It's a two way street. I'm glad woman are being safer and the like but man, the amount of stories of guys getting accused of rape then kicked out of school, or fired or harassed when they didn't so anything is stupid. Same with pedophilia. Yes rape is bad, yes pedophilia is bad but what happened to innocent until proven guilty. This is the worst time to be a male this century easily.

Males lose most custody battles cause they are male, males often pay child support even in join custody. Maels get accused of shit without doing anything.

The root cause is people want something to hate, something to be afraid of, so they latch on to one thing. It was terrorists for a while, then it was homosexuals, now it's every male that looks at someone

[–]one-here 2 ポイント3 ポイント

Appreciate you taking the risk to be strait up with your view.

Don't you think the root cause may be sexing problems? What I mean is, for example, assault is assault, whether it is a rape, a bat to the jaw, a slap in the face etc. regardless of the victim's sex, sexual preference or skin tone. Everyone should be free from assault, so why don't we address the issue as a community problem rather than special interest problem?

When I was attending college in the '80's I would hear woman repeatedly argue that rape was particularly heinous because it was a crime intended to take power over the victim. And I would ask; 'what crime is not about doing that.' Needless to say i was repeatedly informed that my question was 'logical' and did not appreciate special female issues.

In hind site I think I have learned that there are people who want to solve problems and people who want to use problems to gain something for themselves. If we really want to create a better society we will stop segregating ourselves is micro-groups, and we will no buy into the self-centered rationals of those who merely are seeking to support a politically correct mindset.

[–]SqueaksBCOD 1 ポイント2 ポイント

You are on the right track, but you need to take it a little further. Why is "rape" so feared vs being murdered? Why is a rape more feared than being beat to the point to the point of being in a coma for a week and possibly having permanent brain damage? Why is rape more feared than say loosing a limb? Because frankly. . . that is the message we send and I think it is really fucked up.

We are a really fucked up sexual culture. We treat a woman's "virtue" as something so stupid that the idea of it being violated has evolved into something bizarre. I hate that as a little girl one of the things that scared me about rape was that I thought it would be harder to say no to sex till I was married if I was not a virgin. . . that is not a healthy mindset! I very strongly feel that out ass backwards bullshit attitude to sex is part of why "rape" has evolved into this mess that is has. You raise a girl to think all sex is a sin, and she should be feel shame and gilt for being interested in it. . . guess what when it is forced on her. . . it likely is going to fuck with her head more! If you tell a girl she will be "ruined" and "no man will want used goods" as a pathetic way to try to keep them for having sex, of course they are going to be more fucked in the head if they are raped.

Rape is a violent disgusting act, but at the end of the day it is an assault, it is an attack, it is not supernatural. I don't think it is healthy to tell women they should fear rape more than being beating within an inch of their life! Frankly a psychopath that likes to burn people alive is a hell of a lot scarier than a rapist to me! We should not be fearful of a "rape", we should be fearful of an attack, which rape is a form of.

[–]kickazzgoalie 4 ポイント5 ポイント

So sexism against men is because of sexism against women? (Honest question, sorry if dumb).

[–]jQueryMeansHappy 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Any sexist scenario can be looked at from both sides. The women asked to switch are being "forced" to sit with children that they may not want to while the lucky man is being moved away from the little brats.

See how it can easily turn based on perspective?

This happens with "benevolent sexism" also... things like opening doors for women. Instead of it being sexist against men for being expected to open the door (being a "gentleman"), it is sexist against women because of the idea that they couldn't do it for themselves.

Whoever wants to be a victim can be a victim, even if it is fucking ridiculous.

That and in the case of your specific question, the women being referenced in her story are using irrational fears as justification for sexism against men.

[–]kickazzgoalie -2 ポイント-1 ポイント

Thank you for your response, that does make sense.

Really? Downvotes? Because I thanked someone for explaining something to me? Fucking reddit makes no goddamn sense sometimes.

[–]MeetMrMayhem 4 ポイント5 ポイント

I agree 100% that this irrational fear is a symptom of rape culture. Not the feminist definition but the rape culture that says 1 of every 5 men is a rapist. The one where alleged cases of rape are reported in the news and spread across social media demonizing the accused without knowing all of the facts. The one that says these alleged rapist are guilty until proven innocent. The one that ruins lives even when the accused is found innocent. The one where the false accuser is never charged or prosecuted. The one that says PIV is rape no matter what. The one that allows blogs, books, and videos telling us that men are nothing but murderous, raping, manipulating, aggressive, humans who can't control themselves and want to put our dicks in anything that moves.

The one that makes you take extra precaution and look at any man as if he is a potential rapist. However, your "awareness" is not female exclusive. And rape is not the only scenario people have to look out for. Anyone who catches a bus late at night has to be aware of any kind of danger. In fact, I would be willing to bet that the chance of getting robbed is far greater than the chance of being raped. I sympathize that females that do have that extra danger most men don't. But everyone is on high alert when they are in a vulnerable situation. And everyone takes precautions to avoid certain danger.

[–]mciracer 0 ポイント1 ポイント

I'm curious, why was the first thing you thought to do was lie?

[–]Sarsk 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Lie about what?

[–]mciracer 0 ポイント1 ポイント

"earbud point"

As a women you assume that's some subtle was of saying i don't want to speak with you, but it's an obvious slight, an insult as you weren't even willing to speak your mind if you weren't interested in speaking.

Relying on a gesture in place of words is a bit silly imo.