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A PSA: rape happens...a lot. (self.TwoXChromosomes)

submitted by Langlie

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[–]honestyisntnice -26 ポイント-25 ポイント

I am man, I was raped by a woman. I've been lurking on 2xc long enough that know how it works here. How rape is always a topic on hand.

There is a reason that the whole rape issue runs into a lot of resistance. This is specifically for you OP.

I don't know if you're not going to like what I'm about to say, but this isn't me trolling, this is simply speaking against the reddit and feminist hivemind which is prevalent.

The narrative of rape is always the same. Some woman was a victim of rape at the hand of a man. Feminists and women speak about how often it happens and how it's an epidemic that needs to addressed. Repeat, ad infinitum.

NOW, LET ME SAY THIS. YOU ARE ABSOLUTLY FUCKING RIGHT THAT RAPE HAPPENS A LOT AND NEEDS TO BE STOPPED DEAD IN IT'S FUCKING TRACKS.

Now here's the we part company about the issue of rape.

Feminists talk till they're blue in the face about rape, I mean, 2xc is perfect example. But for as much as you decry rape, FEMINISTS IGNORE AN ENTIRE GROUP OF RAPE VICTIMS.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prison_rape_in_the_United_States

In 2010, Human Rights Watch estimated that at least 140,000 inmates had been raped while incarcerated

Holy shit! 140,000 rapes! You'd figure feminists would be all over this! You'd figure you'd have a PSA discussing the plight of prison rape. That's an epidemic that needs to be addressed! But no, when was the last time 2xc talk about prison rape? When was the last time there was some kind of grassroots campaign for these people.

Feminists don't care to stop ALL rape as they claim. They only care about one type of rape. Man on woman. Hell, even your own post reflects this. Look at the title: A PSA: rape happens...a lot.

You have this long post, and give two sentences to male rape.

As a side note, I know that many men out there are raped too. I don't mean to diminish their situations by focusing on women in this post.

As a rape victim, thank you for those two tiny sentences raising awareness for my rape.

Yes Langlie, RAPE HAPPENS A LOT. A lot more than just this one single narrative that 2xc pushes. A lot more than the Cause célèbre that it has become. There is an entire body of rape victims that get little to NO recognition in the pubic discourse. I am part of that body. The 100,000 or so men are part of that body.

And yet, as much as feminists talk about ending rape, they ignore an entire section of rape victims just as you have. This why I don't, and will never call myself a feminist. The day feminists start standing for ALL rape victims, I will be in your marches holding up signs. But the truth is, I'm not holding my breath for it to happen.

I am a male rape victim, I have no advocate.

[–]the-ok-girl 17 ポイント18 ポイント

You're saying that if men are being raped in prisons (by other men), women should just shut the fuck up and tolerate being raped and assaulted outside the prisons? 2xc is women subreddit. About women. It's logical that here women's problems should be discussed, maybe you should show a bit of compassion to the survivors of such ordeal as a rape, since you know how horrible it is?

Besides, feminist are concerned with the male rape survivors and with many other injustices. You can't point your finger at the one article and say "HA LYING FEMINISTS GOTCHA".

[–]I_WANT_DA_CAKE 21 ポイント22 ポイント

While no one wants to diminish the crimes that happened to male survivors of rape, this is a female based sub. I can understand why Langlie would not want to speak on behalf of males in a female-dedicated sub. I apologize sincerely for what happened to you, but that doesn't give you a reason to go on a tirade simply because you weren't acknowledged in (again) a FEMALE-DEDICATED SUB.

[–]masonbee -4 ポイント-3 ポイント

It's also a default sub, so this topic has shown up on the front page for many people. So naturally they are just going to click on the topic and comment.

[–]I_WANT_DA_CAKE 3 ポイント4 ポイント

I figure most people clicking on the sub know how to read the sidebar...

[–]masonbee -3 ポイント-2 ポイント

Not everyone reads the side bar. People can easily go through dozens of subreddits just by clicking on topics on the front page.

[–]I_WANT_DA_CAKE 2 ポイント3 ポイント

Is that my fault? Just informing /u/honestyisntnice on why his comment is slightly misplaced. His fault if he flips shit for no reason because he's chosen not to read the sidebar.

[–]GARBAGEDAYY 5 ポイント6 ポイント

Your anger is entirely valid because nowhere near enough is done to help male rape victims, I completely agree.

However, feminists are advocating primarily for women. This is why their dialogue and discussions center around women first. This doesn't mean they don't care, it means the movement is a woman's movement and as a result male issues do not immediately take priority. This is why we need a proper men's rights movement, not the one we have right now.

I want to advise you to go to the mens rights subreddit but I know that's not the best place either, since they too tend to focus more on what feminists are doing, rather than helping men. There's places like /r/offmychest or /r/self that could be better if you're looking for somewhere to start a discussion. /r/askmen is 50/50.

Prison rape is men raping men (and the lax attitude towards it is readily perpetuated by men, and men within the media). Feminism is primarily women focusing on women. It's disgusting the way male rape and male prison rape is viewed by society, but wondering why a female led movement based around females isn't focusing on men is sort of redundant.

You have this long post, and give two sentences to male rape.

You're saying this to a woman, discussing female rape on a female centric subreddit. I am in no way saying you cannot speak on male rape, not at all. I'm saying you're wondering why you're going unrepresented in a forum dedicated to giving women the voice they barely have on this website, in a thread about how women are mistreated similarly within society. Women discussing women does not negate anything that happens to men. There just seems to be a relationship between women discussing women and men wondering why those women are not discussing men.

As you can see from the MANY anecdotes in this thread, women too are ignored and disbelieved just as much. And not by a social movement either, but by law enforcement and society itself. Again, this is not saying men are not ignored, it's saying both men and women suffer in different ways. Since this is a female subreddit, we are discussing the ways women suffer. If this wasn't a female sub, you'd have a really great, massively important point.

Women not talking primarily about male rape doesn't mean they're ignoring it. At all. We have our own set of issues that we deal with, and this subreddit is supposed to be our avenue for creating dialogue about them.

Finding specifics on google is impossible these days but I did manage to find this article about a feminist standing up for a more genderless approach to destroying rape culture and she calls feminists out for not focusing on male victims nor LGBT victims enough.

[–]raptorrage 13 ポイント14 ポイント

So fucking advocate for it. Do you demand prostate cancer charities raise money for breast cancer?

[–]rumeamiu 3 ポイント4 ポイント

I am a feminist and I'd stand up for you. Whenever and to whomever rape happens it is devastating. I think a lot of us feminist take male rape just as seriously. I am so sorry that this happened to you. You in no way deserved it. I wish I could give you a hug.

[–]whitneyface 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Many, many of us would. If a topic was posted about prison rape I bet we'd have tons of people wanting to know what they could do. It's recently come to my consciousness how huge an issue human rights in prisons in general need to become, rape being chief among the major issues.

[–]catsandcookies 6 ポイント7 ポイント

...she even included a disclaimer that there are many male victims who are just as important and affected, but because this is a female sub she was addressing a female issue/perspective. Her point is not that female rape victims have it worse, it's that so many of us have been sexually assaulted/know somebody who has been assaulted that we are wary in many situations around men. I think you must have stopped reading partway through.

Edit: I agree that male victims have very little support. The only thing I can say is that you might want to re-examine feminism or feminism-like groups simply because rape is viewed as an important issue across the board that affects all kinds of people. Yes, this post is about female victims but it's because she was making another point. You might find you can vent a little in a sub like this, I promise nobody will discount your experiences or treat you strangely.

[–]whitneyface 0 ポイント1 ポイント

I'm sorry for your experience. Truly. It should never have happened, and even people who commit crimes shouldn't be expected to just shut up and deal with crimes being perpetrated against them when they're in prison. You didn't ever deserve this.

It is my mission to inform myself on the broader issues of prisons, on others with stories like your own. When I find out more, I'm not sure if the best place to share would be here, because this is a female-focused subreddit. I know /r/mensrights sometimes talks about male rape and prison rape, but often in this very "us versus them" "women think they have it so bad but what about dudes?" that's really offputting to me as a sexual assault victim. Maybe a subreddit about sexual abuse and assault? They're probably not gendered. Maybe an off-reddit forum or website for people who advocate for prisoners and former prisoners themselves?

I feel for you. I'm so sorry. I wish it never happened. This is something we should all be aware of, but I'm just not sure it belongs prominently in a women-oriented subreddit. It's called Two X Chromasomes, you know? I don't think most people are against fighting the horrible shit you went through and want you to sweep it under the rug, but a lot of them just don't see why it belongs in this subreddit to the same extent as rape perpetrated against women.

[–]auoar 1 ポイント2 ポイント

Don't give up. There are many others that support this idea. It'll take time, but it is bound to be realized.

It is human issues after all. Not any particular gender's. Anyone who is sincerely interested in human suffering will understand. Others will become history.

[–]justathrowawayheyy -1 ポイント0 ポイント

Hello honestyisntnice, I am also a male rape victim. It's quite sad we can't tell anyone or we will be judged even more for being weak or liars. For us we have to remain silent. Most people just don't care enough to believe it.