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A PSA: rape happens...a lot. (self.TwoXChromosomes)

submitted by Langlie

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[–]ParanthropusBoisei -13 ポイント-12 ポイント

Rape statistics show that 1 out of 4 women are raped and/or sexually assaulted in their lifetime.

This is an example of advocacy data. Statistics often spewed like these aren't meant to accurately capture the prevalence of rape and sexual assault in the real world, they're primarily meant to fuel the political momentum against rape (which should be happening anyway) regardless of how much rape there actuallyis.

For example, some surveys that produce these numbers ask women about their sex lives and then decide for them if they were raped. Under one study, if a married couple had some wine and then had sex, that would be considered rape according to the survey (but not according to the woman). This lead to an estimate of 1-in-5 women raped during their lifetime.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNsJ1DhqQ-s&list=PLytTJqkSQqtr7BqC1Jf4nv3g2yDfu7Xmd

Those same numbers don't emerge when you ask women directly if they were raped, although that is still problematic because rape is interpreted differently by different people. Regardless, it's clear that if a woman doesn't believe she was raped then a third-party shouldn't be deciding that she was.

[–]kceltyr 12 ポイント13 ポイント

I understand where you're coming from, but in some cases a woman might not consider having been raped, when it's clear she has. Some women have been conditioned to believe a husband cannot rape his wife. Others that 'I didn't actually say no, or stop, so it wasn't rape', or 'I have him a handjob, so when he forced himself on me I had to oblige' are legitimate justifications for what they suffered.

The counter to your over-reporting problem is that we potentially end up with an under-reporting problem. Both have their issues, but currently, I feel like over-reporting is preferable to keep the issue prevalent in the public mind. However, the real issue is people divorcing the raw numbers from the parameters of the study they're drawn from, which gives rapist apologists ammunition to attack the credibility of a good cause, not that researchers are using metrics to determine if a rape has occurred or not.

[–]justRem -1 ポイント0 ポイント

Also a note, as I agree with you I'd like to add something else. Almost all rape is done by someone you know. I believe that I saw a statistic around 11 or 12 percent of rape was perpetrated by a stranger, but I'm not sure where.

Most men have issues with people just being over-the-top cautious (not talking to strangers because it 'might draw attention to them' or avoiding certain areas just because there is some misconception that random men constantly wait around corners to rape women) not normal precautions (keeping mace in your purse or having a female buddy to go out to new places with). I have dated two women who were raped (one by an ex and one by an uncle), and it is very traumatizing for the victim... But it really is almost always by people they know. Its that guy you think is cool, and think he's fine with being friends. The family member you grew up around. The boyfriend who agreed to no sex until marriage.

Not talking to a stranger wouldn't help you, even if the rape you were attempting to prevent were the 12% from strangers. Let's face it, as a generation we are teaching women to fear the wrong people and defend themselves the wrong way. The lack of awareness means they're even more likely to let their guard down to a friend or family member. Get mace, get a buddy, and be careful who you trust with what at home.

[–]truffaldino3359 -1 ポイント0 ポイント

But it really is almost always by people they know. Its that guy you think is cool, and think he's fine with being friends. The family member you grew up around. The boyfriend who agreed to no sex until marriage.

Yes, they're raped by people they know and trust. People they thought were good people. Then they realise their judgement was wrong, that person wasn't a good person and seeing as that was a person they trusted and knew and thought was good, they start to be suspicious of their own judgements about everyone, especially men (since it was a man who did it to them).

Speaking from experience, being alone around men after I was raped terrified me because it didn't matter how good or nice or respectful I thought they were, because my judgement had previously been proven wrong. So I had to suddenly be aware that any man could do that to me, not just the men who were mean or horrible.

So yes, I cross roads if there's a guy on the other side and it's dark and I won't go out drinking with only guys (despite my friends being mainly male), and so on. Because my judgement has already proven wrong, so I don't feel I can trust my judgement of most guys, even just that one walking down the street - yeah it's not nice for me to cross the street, but it's a lot worse for me to be beaten up or raped or whatever else. And that's not because I think he personally would do that, it's because I think that anyone could potentially do that.

[–]justRem [score hidden]

Trust has little to do with the way you treat strangers. You don't trust a stranger to be good? Neither do I, but if he asks me what time it is I don't tell him to 'fuck off creep' just because its a late bus and there are only a few people there. There is a sustainable, rational amount of distrust, and I nor anyone else have any issue with it. As I said in my post my issue is when the fear is so irrational that the 'steps' you are taking do nothing to help you stay safe, and instead just make you a borderline paranoid nut case. Not going out drinking with only guy friends? Rational. Not going out drinking with a girlfriend because there are guys there? Irrational. Just having one drink so you stay sober? Rational. Yelling at the guy across the bar who offered to buy you a drink because he thought you were cute? Irrational. Not crossing the street because there is a hooded guy hanging out near his creepy white van? Rational. Not crossing the street because it is a bit dark and someone might be hiding in the bushes? Irrational.

Odds are that what I'm saying does not apply to you, so please don't just blindly down vote me for having a dissenting opinion. The real issue for me, again, is that people seem to say 'rapists are everywhere' when in fact they should say 'there is probably someone capable of raping you that knows or will meet you'.