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I MAY have went too far...but this was seriously one the the proudest moments of my life. These bitches totally deserved all the guilt they felt. (livememe.com)

submitted by Peeka789

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[–]CuntyMcGiggles 650 ポイント651 ポイント

Fuck them. You had me until the end though. Hopefully you find a better proudest moment of your life. They deserved it for sure but that would suck to have your proudest ever moment be that.

[–]Friscogonewild 1058 ポイント1059 ポイント

If it makes you feel any better, this never happened.

[–]Habbekratz 168 ポイント169 ポイント

Explain this situation detective.

[–]Friscogonewild 865 ポイント866 ポイント

Step 1. OP saw the meme on the front page about the girl hitting on a BLB on a bachelorette party dare.

In that thread he had the following "brilliant" comeback:

Here is what you do, if you ever see her again get a friend to tell her you killed yourself from low self esteem. Then never return to that bar. She will live the rest if her life thinking she inadvertently killed someone. Give that psychological abuse right back to her cunty Fucking face.

Step 2: OP then made up some fictitious situation where he actually said that.

Step 3: ???

Step 4: OP reaps karma

I imagine it went something like this.

[–]BaghdadAssUp 208 ポイント209 ポイント

Good detective work.

[–]huh0kay 147 ポイント148 ポイント

Bake 'em away, toys.

[–]Crusader1089 41 ポイント42 ポイント

What's that chief?

[–]hardangelfan 37 ポイント38 ポイント

Do what the kid says

[–]xisytenin 2 ポイント3 ポイント

Ice cream won't help though...

[–]CamCamCOTBamBam 5 ポイント6 ポイント

Book em Danno

[–]ifiwereu 2 ポイント3 ポイント

I dunno. Something about being gay.

[–]MechanicalYeti 0 ポイント1 ポイント

What's that chef?

[–]schmucubrator 0 ポイント1 ポイント

What's that chief?

*chef

[–]huckler 0 ポイント1 ポイント

G. I. Jew toy slogan?

[–]Blodje 0 ポイント1 ポイント

"Call in a code 8" "We need pretzels, repeat, pretzels!"

[–]Scooter93 -1 ポイント0 ポイント

Read this is in the voice of Chief from The Simpsons

[–]steveinaccounting -1 ポイント0 ポイント

But if I can't batter the women, how the fuck am I supposed to bake them a cake then?

[–]persianprez 1 ポイント2 ポイント

Well the Mosby boys have cracked a lot of cases

[–]moralprolapse 0 ポイント1 ポイント

OP goes wild in frisco

[–]NateGH360 0 ポイント1 ポイント

What I'd like to know is if he got any upvotes on his "brilliant" comment.

[–]sousapro 12 ポイント13 ポイント

/r/quityourbullshit

[–]Malgana 39 ポイント40 ポイント

This is probably why adviceanimals was removed from defaults, along with the fact that nobody can ever seem to keep the memes in the category of what they're supposed to be.

This is a CONFESSION bear, not a "Hey look what I did to some stupid assholes" bear. Why not post something like this to justiceporn instead.

[–]_Woodrow_ 38 ポイント39 ポイント

Why not post something like this to justiceporn instead.

less karma to be had in that sub

[–]MisterKrampus 2 ポイント3 ポイント

Wat. This, fictitious or not, clearly meets the criteria to be a confession bear. What about it isn't a confession? Confessing you tricked someone into believing they've indirectly caused a mans death isn't a confession in your opinion? What the fuck were you thinking when you typed that?

[–]Fizzay 13 ポイント14 ポイント

It's not a good confession. Like someone confessing that they know they're hot isn't a good confession. It's bragging. Which is what OP is doing.

[–]Skullclownlol 10 ポイント11 ポイント

What the fuck were you thinking when you typed that?

It's not a confession bear when you're boasting about something you're happy about.

For example:
Confession bear: I have a huge penis.

It does fit the basic definition of a confession, but "confession bear" wasn't originally for boasting.

[–]Scooter93 8 ポイント9 ポイント

Confession Bear: I dont have a huge penis.

Am i doing it right?

[–]Tyytan 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Close enough.

[–]RangerLt 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Nah, that may not be such a bad thing. You might have an average sized penis, which should be more than enough for anyone who isn't a complete douche.

[–]horizontalcracker 3 ポイント4 ポイント

To me the confession bear is meant to be something you're not proud of, or even ashamed of, it also helps my criteria if it's something you wouldn't tell people in real life due to those above mentioned things.

[–]blue_27 2 ポイント3 ポイント

How is it a confession, when it's clearly a made up story? You can't "confess" figments of your imagination.

[–]Akaflyingmuffin 5 ポイント6 ポイント

You're pretty good at this... bravo

[–]southpaw90 6 ポイント7 ポイント

/r/karmacourt although this seems like an open-and-shut case if I've ever seen one

[–]I_saw_that_coming 11 ポイント12 ポイント

http://i.imgur.com/zfZh4rm.jpg

[–]throwestofthrowaways 3 ポイント4 ポイント

Making all women out to be cunts is like insta-karma on Reddit.

[–]BadVVolf 2 ポイント3 ポイント

What if his reply in the other thread was based on the actual real life experience? Referencing something in 2 different places hardly indicates that it's false.

[–]WhiteyDude 2 ポイント3 ポイント

Wow. It's the very last comment he made before posting the confession bear. I've never been more convinced that something didn't happen than I am with this. Well done, Friscogonewild, well done.

[–]Brintyboo 1 ポイント2 ポイント

Or maybe that front page meme triggered his memory and made him think "That could make a confession bear"? It's happened to me numerous times.

[–]bukakke_expert 1 ポイント2 ポイント

Somebody lies on the internet? But that's impossible!

[–]Psych091 1 ポイント2 ポイント

This might be the best detective work I've ever seen. Backed up with evidence and motive.

Open and shut case Johnson. Sprinkle some crack on 'em.

[–]illdrawyourface 1 ポイント2 ポイント

Also, girls daring each other to talk to ugly guys is what middle school and (at the latest) high schoolers do. There's no way he "saw them at the bar" if this even happened.

[–]captain_obvious_scum 1 ポイント2 ポイント

PITCHFORKS!

Get your PITCHFORKERS HERE!!! PITCHFORKS!!!!

----------E

[–]Spider_Bear 2 ポイント3 ポイント

time for r/Karmacourt

[–]runningbear11 1 ポイント2 ポイント

varrrryyyy niceee

[–]ChildishGambin0 1 ポイント2 ポイント

I like you

[–]redbirdrising 0 ポイント1 ポイント

I thought ??? was Step 2

[–]WobblyHobbly 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Frisco, Texas?

[–]Friscogonewild 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Everyone always asks me that. Is it a big city? No, it's just a nickname I've used on the web for many years.

[–]Ramivacation 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Step 1. OP saw the meme on the front page about the girl hitting on a BLB on a bachelorette party dare

Which was also likely made up.

[–]scotsworth 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Step 4 Visualized

[–]sedateeddie420 0 ポイント1 ポイント

If that is the case OP probably has very low self esteem, and we should give him all the karma in the world. Karma is cheap, self esteem is invaluable.

[–]wildergheight 0 ポイント1 ポイント

HEY EVERYONE, OP IS A PHONY

[–]DeistHaerdune 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Take this case to /r/KarmaCourt anyone? You could be the prosecutor considering you have some solid evidence here, amazing sleuth work by the way.

[–]springloadedgiraffe 0 ポイント1 ポイント

/r/karmacourt

[–]TehDrummerr 0 ポイント1 ポイント

/r/karmaconspiracy

[–]Arcturus_ 0 ポイント1 ポイント

/r/karmacourt

[–]Enjoys_Fried_Penis 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Wow can I hire you to find out who ate my cookies since you're an amazing detective?

[–]Friscogonewild 0 ポイント1 ポイント

It was your dog. Someone slipped some pot into his food bowl and he got the munchies. If you hadn't been so busy watching two turtles fucking on reddit, you would have noticed.

[–]Lough5280 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Brilliant

[–]kaneda26 0 ポイント1 ポイント

http://www.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/comments/25ecer/this_is_true_this_time/

[–]JoelQuest 0 ポイント1 ポイント

"Good work Lou, you'll make Sergeant for this."

[–]FortheLoveofGingers 0 ポイント1 ポイント

He would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!

[–]lazespud2 0 ポイント1 ポイント

I think you are TOTALLY right on this. I can help but remember one of my few attempts to tell a real story on here though; I ordered pizza from a local independent pizza place here in seattle, and when it arrived they said it was free (apparently they do this every once in a while.)

So I posted their note on the Seattle reddit (it also was signed by the whole crew at the pizza place), and holy fuck. Apparently I am a paid plant for the pizza place and it was apparently some clunky effort on my part to generate positive buzz for my employer, the pizza place. I tried to defend myself, but then I realized that I was just engaging trolls. So one half of my brain 100 percent agrees with you, the other half is experiencing empathy for those that have true stories and will never, ever be believed on reddit.

(but not this guy, of course. He's lying through his teeth)

[–]Lurking_Still -3 ポイント-2 ポイント

While that could be true, could it also not have been that the meme jogged OP's memory of an incident that happened to him that was similar, and wanted to get some karma with some OC?

Granted, OP could be lying, but OP could also be telling the truth.

[–]Fearismyweapon 9 ポイント10 ポイント

come on man he's lying

[–]Lurking_Still 1 ポイント2 ポイント

Hey, more than likely. There's always someone though early on who starts shitting on the post regardless of what happened. Now if OP is lying of course, bring on the brigade.

[–]mushroomx 0 ポイント1 ポイント

He would've said it in his initial reply. He is lying, because he would not tell someone what they "should do" and omit what he actually "did do" in an identical situation.

Quite opportunistic of him: he saw all the raised pitchforks from the other thread and saw some fake internet points for the taking.

[–]MileHighBarfly 1 ポイント2 ポイント

No. This would seem ridiculous if you saw it on a tv show, never mind how absurd to think he did it in real life...and then of course posts the experience as a "confession" all for the kudos, attaboys, and upvotes? Come on..

[–]Lurking_Still -1 ポイント0 ポイント

I don't find it at all that implausible that OP could see the group of girls who was mean to his friends and found a way to make them feel shitty. As for wanting the karma, of course that's why he posted it. That doesn't necessarily mean it's fake.

It could be though. OP could be a liar. OP could also not be a liar, and was just trying to contribute to reddit.

[–]MileHighBarfly 1 ポイント2 ポイント

The group of girls don't even exist. OP probably isn't even old enough to have ever been in a bar.

[–]Lurking_Still 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Unless you care enough about it to troll through OP's comments to find supporting evidence, I find it silly to just shit on OP outright.

But hey, that's just me.

[–]blue_27 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Well done. I'm way too frugal for gold, so ... http://img.pandawhale.com/93002-reddit-silver-medal-meme-funny-B9d2.jpeg

[–]Nfrizzle -1 ポイント0 ポイント

Couldn't he have had that idea because his real life experience

[–]Friscogonewild 0 ポイント1 ポイント

You have a kind soul.

[–]Doxep 0 ポイント1 ポイント

/r/quityourbullshit wants you!

[–]tubbo 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Step 4: OP rapes karma

ftfy

[–]runningbear11 -1 ポイント0 ポイント

dang...

[–]BitchNiggaPaprika -1 ポイント0 ポイント

Fucking Fedoral Bureau of Investigation eh?

[–]maaaatttt_Damon 7 ポイント8 ポイント

There was a bad luck Brian post earlier that said that he was only hit on at the bar as a Bachelorette party scavenger hunt. Seems pretty close to this. I'm not saying it's fake, but my instincts are to say that it is.

[–]thefarside86 6 ポイント7 ポイント

Haven't you heard? Arrogant people are omniscient.

[–]hellotheremrme -1 ポイント0 ポイント

The girls would likely call his bluff I guess? If someone told me their friend committed suicide because I called him ugly, I wouldn't believe them

[–]Friscogonewild 3 ポイント4 ポイント

When you're completely fabricating a story, you can make the other party as dumb as you want.

[–]SteakAndNihilism 2 ポイント3 ポイント

I sure hope I never see it on /r/thathappened then!

[–]codesoup 3 ポイント4 ポイント

/r/thathappened

[–]BestPersonOnTheNet 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Realizing that was the best moment of my life.

[–]Davidoff1983 0 ポイント1 ポイント

OH /r/thathappened !

[–]reverandglass 0 ポイント1 ポイント

I've done similar when I was younger and known a few other people lie about a death to make someone feel shitty. It sounds pretty plausible to me.

[–]Ramivacation 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Of course it's fucking plausible. Every one of these stupid, bullshit stories has to be plausible. You're not going to get to the front page if you end your story like THEY WERE SO DEVESTATED THAT THEY ALL COVERED THEMSELVES IN NAIL POLISH REMOVER, LIT UP AND JUMPED OFF THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE.

A good karma whore's lies are subtle.

[–]CU_next_tuesday 1 ポイント2 ポイント

Great. Now he's going to pretend kill himself.

[–]glad2help 1 ポイント2 ポイント

Don't worry, like most of these bears, this didn't actually happen.

NP glad 2 explain dis 4 u

[–]cunty_mcfuckerson 3 ポイント4 ポイント

Are we...are we related?

[–]javaski 3 ポイント4 ポイント

Oh, I thought your advice was literally to have sex with them. THAT would have been the ultimate revenge. Well.. for his penis anyway. I don't think it would have helped his friend at all.

[–]YELLOWfinnedtuna 0 ポイント1 ポイント

Bitches will always be bitches.