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[Rant] Sex Ed (self.TwoXChromosomes)

submitted by Simplemindedflyaways

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[–]SeinfeldsVandalay69 -63 ポイント-62 ポイント

You are obviously exaggerating, which is what she was doing. How come you are allowed to exaggerate what the guest speaker said, but when she does it, you get angry? That doesn't seem fair at all.

Drug and alcohol abusers are more likely to engage in premarital/teenage sex than non users. That is a fact. Is it relevant? Not really, but it is still true.

Teenagers do become too highly reliant and trusting of condoms. They fail to realize they are only really effective when used properly, and they don't spend enough time ensuring they are on properly, and don't think about proper lubrication. Teenagers also generally only use condoms for penis in vagina sex, not oral sex. Again, this is a fact, but it isn't too relevant because the STD rate among teenagers in a monogamous relationship is essentially 0, regardless of condoms being used or not.

You having no plans of marriage at 16 really means nothing. You have very little life experience. Your goals are only just going to start developing over the next 5-10 years. I am 28, I have been married, divorced, and when you are in your 20s, marriage and divorce can just seem like something to do on a friday night when you are bored. It isn't a big deal, and its actually a lot of fun (the marriage, not the divorce, thats expensive and boring).

Now, after all of that being said, why the heck are you distraught over this? Are you upset that they didn't teach you about how to have sex? I just don't see the reason why you are so upset. I would laugh my ass off and move on with my life.

[–]epleno 23 ポイント24 ポイント

She's upset because they're teaching young adults that premarital sex will essentially ruin them and cause them to be devoid of the ability to love someone. They are not teaching them how to safely have sex, not teaching them about oral contraceptives and other ways to prevent pregnancy, but merely trying to scare and shame them into being too afraid to have sex. But, the thing is, that doesn't work. Kids, adults, teenagers are going to have sex. It happens. Why do you think southern states in the Bible Belt where sex ed is shitty and false have the highest rates of teen pregnancy? Besides, even if they don't have sex as a teen, if they do decide to have sex later, isn't it important to allow them to have the knowledge to be safe about it?

All I'm saying is that these attitudes abstinence-preachers instill into teens are incredibly damaging and often hard to reverse. What if some of them had already had sex? How do you think that would make them feel? It's important to teach kids about these things in an unbiased and medically accurate way. The speaker OP had did neither of those things.

[–]Simplemindedflyaways[S] 8 ポイント9 ポイント

Yes, thank you for phrasing it more articulately than I ever could have at the moment!

If you tell kids not to do something, they're probably going to do it anyway. Shame and fear isn't a good method of pregnancy prevention, but proper use of contraceptives is.

[–]sorabird 15 ポイント16 ポイント

Wow, could you be more condescending? Just because she's a teenager doesn't mean she doesn't know what she wants and is incapable of providing an accurate portrayal of her experiences.

[–]Simplemindedflyaways[S] 4 ポイント5 ポイント

Thank you! When I say I don't want children, marriage isn't in the plans in the future (at least after med school, probably!), and I'm fairly certain I'm asexual, a slew of people tell me I'm too young to know what I want. My mother loves to tell stories me me being horrified by the baby dolls my grandma would get me at age two.

[–]equalnotevi1 2 ポイント3 ポイント

I've known since I was about 10 that I never wanted to have kids. 20 years later, nothing has changed. It's true some people change their minds, and that's totally fine, but not everyone does, and there's nothing wrong with knowing what you want from life early and standing by it. Don't let anyone make decisions about your life for you, and don't listen to their condescending, judgemental comments about being too young to know what you want. If you know, then you know.

[–]Simplemindedflyaways[S] 11 ポイント12 ポイント

I apologize that you think I'm exaggerating, and just how oh so very obvious it is.

I acknowledge the effectiveness of condoms and reliance. One of my qualms with the speaker is that she completely dismissed them.

Sorry about my anecdote about marriage and future plans that means nothing. I understand that my goals will change. Even though marriage is a recreational activity for a rainy day to you, it might mean something different to every person.

The speaker is paid to come and educate students, so I'm going to speculate that her exaggeration isn't great to tell a bunch of teenagers. That's why she shouldn't exaggerate. I'm a kid posting on the internet, not teaching as a professional. If I was making this up, which I wish I was, it wouldn't be harming anyone.

I'm distraught because of the misinformation being spread to kids who might not think twice about what they're told. When a woman in health class tells you time and time again that, "safe sex doesn't exist," that might resonate with a few. You tell a kid not to do something, and they're likely to do it anyway. Telling them there's no away to even remotely do something isn't beneficial to my peers.

[–]starfuzion 9 ポイント10 ポイント

If they don't get taught how to use the condoms, then they are even less effective. The fact is that this is a Sexual Education course, for kids who may have no idea about any of it, not a push your agenda course. Kids hear "condoms don't work" so when they have sex, they forgo them. Kids hear "sex is just for sluts and losers" and are less likely to have a healthy relationship with sex once they begin having it, and less likely to talk about complications from sex, like STDs.

As much as universal abstinence outside of healthy relationship would improve pregnancy rates:

1.) it won't happen

2.) safe sex would also improve it.

I'll mention that your post comes off condescending, which is not well received in this sub. Generally, we try to support girls choices (e.g. childfree-ness), even if we personally don't agree.

[–]Simplemindedflyaways[S] 3 ポイント4 ポイント

Thank you! Not everyone is going to abstain, so they should know what to do if they choose to have sex without damaging their self-esteem and bodies.

[–]cantbelieveilostit 8 ポイント9 ポイント

You committed a Modus ponens. Saying that people who have sex are more likely to be drug and alcohol abusers is not equivalent to saying that drug and alcohol abusers are more likely to be having sex. That is a fact.

They fail to realize they are only really effective when used properly, and they don't spend enough time ensuring they are on properly, and don't think about proper lubrication.

Even more reason why we should be hard on that speaker for perpetuating more ignorance, fear, and shame around sex and understanding it.

You having no plans of marriage at 16 really means nothing. You have very little life experience. Your goals are only just going to start developing over the next 5-10 years. I am 28, I have been married, divorced, and when you are in your 20s, marriage and divorce can just seem like something to do on a friday night when you are bored.

You have no understanding about who OP is. Seriously, ever heard of a bell curve? Yes, most people do fall in the middle on a lot of psychological/biological traits, but that necessitates that some people will be unusual. OP could be as self aware at 16 as you were by 28. It's entirely possible, so don't rush to a hasty generalization based on your own experiences.

why the heck are you distraught over this? Are you upset that they didn't teach you about how to have sex? I just don't see the reason why you are so upset.

It wasn't a comedy show. It was a government funded classroom, and it happens far too often in this country. These are people tasked with shaping the impressionable youth about issues that could screw up these kids lives. Abstinence only teaching has been proven to not be effective at deterring pregnancy or std rates, and in places where that's the exclusive type of sex ed, the rates are actually significantly higher than when students are taught about safety precautions for sex. Also OP said nothing about wanting to understand how to have sex. Understanding the safety procedures isn't necessary to understand about how to have sex.

I feel like a jerk for pointing all this out, but that was just painful to read.

[–]awef_oijaf 0 ポイント1 ポイント

You're totally right about the logical fallacy, but are you sure it's an MP though? I thought an MP is when you're given P-->Q is true and P is true, therefore Q is true. What this guy is saying is that we're given P-->Q is true, and he's claiming Q-->P must be true is well, which is NOT the case. The negation of P-->Q is (-Q)-->(-P) I believe.

I don't really remember though :/

[–]cantbelieveilostit 3 ポイント4 ポイント

Sorry, you're right! I meant the fallacy associated with Modes Ponens, Affirming the Consequent.

[–]awef_oijaf 1 ポイント2 ポイント

Oh that's cool, I didn't know there were official names for the fallacies, I just thought they had names for the rules that are true. TIL! :)

[–]cantbelieveilostit 1 ポイント2 ポイント

Yep! :) I had extra room in my schedule one year and started taking a Logic/Philosophy class, and it was awesome to get a formal understanding of those things that we use everyday!