This motherfucker above us in the thread is Marine Todd. Marine Todd sings stars and strpes and forever while taking 90 second shits bc any longer and the terrorists may have a chance to organize. He captured Bin Laden by breaking into his compound through the front door with his fist of freedom. After grabbing Bin Laden by the nuts he begged for mercy but Todd was not giving any. Using only his standard eagle scout knife (eagle scout service project: cleaning the guns of needy senior citizens) Todd fileted Bin Ladens uncircumcised donger before feeding it to a Golden Retriever the most american of all dogs.

Upon discharge Todd got a job with the local hero, err fire department where he saved 34 dogs and 41 cats by punching open their cage doors after a fire at the animal shelter. He punched himself free from the rubble using his fist of freedom, carrying a scruffy kitten in his other cornfed arm he approached a little girl and gave her the kitten. "Courtesy of the red white and blue" he said to the girl. Even Todd's college evolution professor was impressed and immediately converted to christianity and bought a gun-probably some plastic shit Taurus because he didnt have a subscription to guns and ammo in his ivory tower liberal den of lies.

Then the camera pans back showing 3 A10 warthogs in close formation doing a flyover in appreciation for his service so he extends his fist upwards to show his gratitude as Todd learned on Paris Island that the punch you regret most is the one you never throw.

Hoorah