You don’t want to be a doctor.

This is *the worst* time in known history to attend 8 years of additional corporate-sponsored brainwashing. That you pay a quarter mil for. That is called debt slavery and you’re walking straight into it. No, you’re on your knees before several department chairs and deans, begging to be screwed over and pay handsomely for the privilege. If you come from the wrong family, this is documented for your “superiors” to see, and you’ll be doing all that begging for nothing.

Still want to? Must be nice to have that kind of financial security. You’re the 5%. 

I’ve seen the inside of them schools. The attendings are lame yet arrogant, the students are dull yet condescending. Of course, the one’s who say “aww just call me Joe” will expect a medal. Any iota of self-effacement on their part will require as much.

Still? Oh, so helping people. 

You know how the docs at a hospital figure out how to help people? The run behind the curtain and look it up on the internet. It stands to reason that one could attain a full medical education with nothing but the internet and some…what’s it called in the medical field? Practice. 

Ex: a had this doctor buddy and I asked him to excise a cyst on my knee. He refused because he was too chicken to grab a scalpel from the OR. What kind of professional are you when you can’t just walk up and borrow a tool from your theater? You’re a lapdog professional who’s an inch away from having to ask to use the toilet. Anyway, I cut the thing out myself with a razor blade. Wasn’t hard.

If you STILL want to be a doctor, maybe think about what a doctor is really supposed to be. What we call a doc today is actually just a body technician and drug dealer. It’s *too* funny to hear the white coated golden kids ragging on patients for drug seeking behavior when MDs are known raging pharma addicts. Opiates, benzos, propofol (..!?..), the works. 

I have an idea. Study on the internet, put up an ad calling yourself a doctor, and make house calls in exchange for “donations”. Then you’ll have the main perk- people calling you 

(*regal voice*) DAHC-torrrr!     (!!qq1Q!!!!!!!) 

AND you’ll be an actual healer, out there with yer little bag of tricks, visiting babies and old people with the flu, mostly hooking up IVs and listening to patients tell you about their health troubles. Plus, if you “don’t charge”, no one can indict or sue you for it. People accidentally called me doctor constantly when working around clinics , and anyone with a shred of intuition could easily just roll with that shit and far and away be a better doc to people than a whitecoat. 

"But the law…." was made to be broken.

Or! You can “play the game”, get that shiny title, and be absolutely and utterly miserable and generally an annoying person who is now a slave to the university scam complex for life. While pretending you did it all to help people and knowing that no one believes you. You’ll cover yourself in superiority complex to combat that, and then the emperor will be naked on top of it all. 

Don’t be a “doctor”. There are already people on the outside undercutting the med establishment and doing better in business for it. Am I talking about alt med? No, I’m talking about med-med. The alt med is what they do in clinics and hospitals. Be an independent scholar, a renaissance person, and a healer. You’ll have no school debt and won’t feel like you’re just saving face the rest of your life. 

Still want to? Are your family members who are all 57 of them MDs/DOs putting you up to this, either directly or by years of repeated insinuation?

NOT LET OTHER PEOPLE’S BOGUS ASSESSMENTS OF WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IN LIFE STEER YOU TOWARD TOTAL AND COMPLETE PERSONAL RUIN. You are too smart for that. 

Don’t be a doctor.