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Python Eats Passed Out Drunk Guy In India

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Note to self: Do not get drunk and pass out outside in India. I have been incredibly drunk in my checkered past, and I have done some things I am not proud of, including passing out cold in some strange places for lengthy amounts of time. However, I am sure that I would wake up from my drunken slumber if a python was trying to eat me, and I think I would be able to escape his deadly coils. That’s just because I am self confident. Pythons are constrictors, so it is likely that the snake came across the passed out man and could tell that he was still alive, since pythons can sense heat. The snake then constricted the man, and began to suffocate him while he was passed out, so if the man woke up and realized what was going on it was already too late. Rest in peace, drunk guy, at least your senses were dulled with alcohol when you met your untimely inebriated end.

If you take one life lesson from the post, let it be “never pass out drunk in an area where human could be on the menu.” Sage advice from your friends at SportSmasher.com.

P.S. Pythons, just like this one have a breeding population in Florida now, since so many Floridians released their huge pet snakes when they could no longer care for them. Check this out:

19 Foot Python Killed Near Miami

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74 Responses to “Python Eats Passed Out Drunk Guy In India”

  1. Reply

    First of all, Reticulated Pythons aren’t indigenous to India, their natural population extends only as far west as Myanmar. Second, the Burmese Pythons are the species that are the invasive population the Everglades. Please do your research before exacerbating the nation’s hysteria in regards to large snakes.

    • Reply

      Jeff, how about you learn now to be a dick. God damn.

    • Reply

      You self righteous fuck

    • Reply

      Hey Jeff, why don’t you do your research and learn the word indigenous does not mean exclusive, dickhead.

      • Mike, speak of being a Dick….you are not only a Dick, but a stupid Dick. He used the word in the proper context. he never meant “exclusive”. He meant that they weren’t native to the area–which is what indigenous means, Moron.

    • Reply

      Unless they updated the post after you posted your comment you should learn to read better before posting a comment like yours. Nowhere in the post did they say anything about the snake being indigenous and they never specified which type of python was in the Everglades.

  2. Reply

    My GF always gives me shit for passing out on the toilet (see what I did there), but at least she knows I’m coming back from that…

  3. Reply

    Jeff,

    I’m confused as to the point you are making with your comment. Which species of Python, both of which are huge and capable of consuming a person, ate this drunkard in India?

    • Reply

      I was going to reply to Jeff’s post as well.
      The breed of Python was not mentioned in the original article, so by saying there are also pythons in Florida is not being inaccurate.

  4. Reply

    Jeff, FYI, Pythons and Boa Constrictors are not Indigenous to Florida either but there are thousands of each living in the wild there, just saying….

  5. Reply

    I’m gonna call BS on this story.

  6. Reply

    I don’t even know where to begin with this. First off, this picture had been floating around for some time now, but every time, the story changes. It’s nothing but fear mongering towards large snakes. The everyone is saying it’s a reticulated python, but they aren’t indigenous to the area, and also if one WERE to eat a human, they would probably due themselves in the process. Please check your sources before spreading misinformation about a beautiful species

    • Reply

      Nick… you’re probably one of the ass holes who let the snakes go into the wild in Florida!!

      • While there are certainly people who released pythons into the Everglades, a massive percentage of the snake population in Florida was actually do to the decimation of a breeding facility during Hurricane Andrew.

      • Really? You are gonna say nothing productive? Instead you are just gonna be a little child? First off, I don’t live in Florida, and if I did, I sure as shit wouldn’t release a species into the wild that didn’t belong there. Also, my post had nothing to do with the comment about Florida. Learn how to argue/debate you uneducated fuck

  7. Reply

    The do range into the northeastern corner of India.

  8. Reply

    does this human make my ass look big??

  9. Reply

    This is bullshit. They can’t go passed the shoulders.

    • Reply

      If they can eat a full grown deer,I’m pretty sure they can get past a full grown males shoulders.

      • Deer are much easier to swallow than humans. Deer shoulder blades are shaped differently, making them much easier to swallow. It would take a snake of massive proportions to swallow even a teenage human of average build due to the shape of our shoulder blades. Further, the photo is of a reticulated python, which doesn’t live in India. This is another giant snake fear mongering article.

      • what if the shoulders got crushed

  10. Reply

    I don’t believe anything I see on the internet. There’s just too much B.S.

  11. Reply

    That snake didn’t eat no man. It’s just really REALLY constipated.

  12. Reply

    Fake, Fake, Fake

  13. Reply

    “Indian food gives me gasssssssssssss!”

  14. Reply

    So, is that snake gonna get hammered?

  15. Reply

    Wait, does that mean the python got drunk too?

  16. Reply

    wow! I had no idea there were so many snake experts here!

  17. Reply

    Oh calm down people! It’s just a cautionary tale for drunk assess who pass out in strange places. Drink with a buddy…don’t drink yourself retarded.

  18. Reply

    I know nothing about snakes but seeing this picture and reading all the comments. My first thought is that this doesn’t seem Impossible to me. If the snake is large enough to get ones head in its mouth the rest would surely follow lol I mean doesn’t the snake first CONSTRICT its prey? this would/could crush the areas of bones some are saying wouldn’t fit in the snakes mouth. So snake eats man! haha

    • Reply

      ofcours and its been also stories where these monsters eat elephants they just crush the elephant bones and swallow uu yeah :D Only possibe way is feet first wich is the only way python can eat crown up man, but that is contrary to normal snake behavior.

  19. Reply

    I AM TIRED OF THESE MOTHAFUCKEN SNAKES ON THESE MOTHAFUCKEN ARTICLES!! :)

  20. Reply
    Corey (Snake Expert and Professional Geographer)
    November 28, 2013 at 1:22 am

    Snakes are an urban legend. They don’t exist. Plus India can’t decide what continent it is on so it doesn’t count as a real country.

  21. Reply

    Pretty sure they don’t wear jeans in India.

  22. Reply

    And thus, someone drunk off his ass contributes to the circle of life!

  23. Reply

    i was there, it happen

  24. Reply

    My trouser snake only spits not swallows

  25. Reply

    A python CAN SWALLOW A HUMAN! I saw a picture where they cut open a python with a HUMAN inside of it. a DEER is more difficult to swallow than a human. a deer’s torso is bigger and has a wider rib cage.

  26. Reply

    I think it’s funny to see all of the apparently sober people standing around and taking pics with their smartphone. Should I ever get drunk enough to be eaten by a snake I hope that my drinking buddies at least get a re tweet out of

  27. Reply

    Constriction is usually assumed to kill prey by suffocation because the forces exerted appear to interfere with breathing in the prey. However, constriction often kills small mammals faster than would be expected if suffocation were the immediate cause of death. In many snakes, constriction may be strong enough to collapse the blood vessels in small prey, which in turn would quickly stop the heart from working and lead to heart attack and stroke. Bones are not usually broken so a snake would have to be an immense size to swallow a man whole. Considering the known maximum prey size, it is technically possible for a full-grown specimen of python reticulatus to open its jaws wide enough to swallow a human teenager, but the width of the shoulders of adult Homo sapiens would likely pose a problem for even a snake with sufficient size.

  28. Reply

    My snake devours prey in a similar fashion. Coincidentally, they tend to be drunk first also.

  29. Reply

    I wish there were a before and after photo for this. Like “before we cut open the snake” and “after we did so and found a dead guy”. Not saying that the snake should die as it most likely was just trying to survive. But I mean.. if I were eaten by a snake, I’d say “Cut me out!!”.

  30. Reply

    i think jeff and alex are the same species.

    pythons in the everglades are competing with alligators for dominance. if a python can eat an alligator, i’d say it could likely also eat a small human. regarding species, who cares? this could have been someone’s pet sssslithering around.

  31. Reply
  32. Reply

    My boy! What did u idiots do to my boy???!!!!! He was a nice boy who felt constricted by life. I put a curse on all of you. Now free more of his cousins in Florida. Revenge!!!!! We will rise up and eat all the deer (if the shoulders r not too big) and then come for you…..after we get off work from the phone centers. My boy!!!!!!

  33. Reply

    @Tami Constrict doesn’t mean crush. At most a snake can break bones. Take a look in the mirror and you’ll see that maybe you shoulders and hips are larger and broader than your head. Unless you are an just delivered infant. Apologies for the sarcasm, I know you are not.

  34. Reply

    I’m from India, and this place Attapady, mentioned in the picture is in the northern part of my state, called Kerala. I can tell you that this is bullcrap. This wasn’t reported in any of our local newspapers itself in the first place. Surely it would’ve got at least a one liner in the media if it had actually happened here.

  35. Reply
  36. Reply

    Well entrpriz ,if that is indeed your real name..if the snake “didn’t eat no man” …that means it ate a man. Nice double negative there guy.

  37. Reply

    Wow, I hope he didn’t get drunk off of a layered hard cider with lager beverage. The irony would be killer! ;)

  38. Reply

    All I can think of is the Monty Python (ha ha!) skit where the guy explodes after eating a mint.

  39. Reply

    HEY, HEY, HEY, trying to watch XXX, keep it down.

  40. Reply

    Seems to me the most important question got missed here. Was he spicey?

  41. Reply

    This guy is really going to feel like shit in a couple of weeks.

  42. Reply

    As soon as I see a legit news article on the subject, I will believe it.
    It is nearly impossible for that size python to get it’s jaws around an adult human head, let alone the broad width of out SHOULDERS!
    Though the picture does look authentic, I need a legitimate source to believe it.
    *I have grown up with pythons including a Reticulated and it is time consuming for them to swallow a rat which is better designed for them to swallow.

  43. Reply

    Jeff, can you be possibly be more dickhead? why are you such a dick??

  44. Reply

    Trouble is with an Indian- two hours later you could eat another one…

  45. Reply

    The psi of constrictors helps to squish their prey… making them easier to swallow.

  46. Reply

    Guys the Everglades shit is true. I lived in an apartment complex that was built on the edge of the Everglades reserves and upon moving in had to sign an agreement about large snakes coming onto the property, and this was in ORLANDO, not even proper Everglades. We had lake in the apartment complex with a waterfall. The gators loved hovering around it. We would feed them occasionally and if the got too large the comple would have them extracted. Then I saw a story of how a man had a snake come through his piping on and end up in his toilet on the news and discovered it when he went to pee, and a couple other stories. I said fuck this and moved to GA.

  47. Reply

    Thats how we roll in India. I am actually American but my Dad is Indian. Fuck you and your pit bull. My snake will eat it, you , me, and some curry…… Thats how we roll

  48. Reply

    Ps don’t talk too much shit about Indian people because there are now more Indian medical students then there are white ones. Next time you visit the doctor guess who you will most likely see?? My sister and my uncle are doctors so if you want to live you should learn to love the bobblty bobblty

  49. Reply

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