An Unexpected Twist – Reviewed by Leslie Langtry

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This month – I’m reviewing something short, but still hilarious (shortlarious!).

An Unexpected Twist is a Kindle Single by The New Yorker humorist, Andy Borowitz.  It’s only 99cents, but you’ll laugh so hard that it feels more like say, $4.99!

In this story, our hero, finds himself unexpectedly struck down by an unusual, medical situation.  In order to avoid a spoiler, I’ll instead distract you with a scary and confusing medical term – Sigmoid Volvulus.

Yes, I thought of Sigmund the Sea Monster right away too.  But no, Mr. Borowitz did not, in fact, have a weird, 1970′s Hanna Barbara costumed character inside him (even though that would be really, really awesome).  It is, in fact, something more sinister.

Oh, alright – it’s a twisted colon.  In fact, his doctor tells him at one point that he has redundant colon, which is funny in and of itself, if you really think about it.

In addtion to the gut-busting humor (sorry) - you get bonus educational information!

We learn that love sometimes means you have to give your brand new spouse an enema or two; which number to give when asked, “On a scale of 1 to 10, rate your pain;” and you get to use the phrase ‘global organ failure’ (which, it turns out, does NOT mean what I thought it did).

I couldn’t help but love this laugh-out-loud-near-tragic story (think Louie CK meets Day of the Triffids), with it’s funny reference to Tim O’Brien’s terrifying Vietname tome - The Things They Carried, and a pro-ileostomy nurse cheerfully peddling her propoganda.

For 99cents, you might as well download it right now.  Think of it as a 99cent investment in your future health, in case you ever come down with Sigmoid Volvulus.  This Kindle Single won’t just make you laugh, it could save your life…

Growing a reader

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I’ve always loved to read. Growing up, books and magazines were always lying around at our house. Momma read suspense and romance novels and magazines like Better Homes & Gardens and Woman’s Day. Daddy read Louis L’amour westerns and Field & Stream and Auto Trader. And they still enjoy getting lost in a good story.

However, it was Granma who let me into the world of grown-up reading. She always kept a stack of magazines by her bed, and when I’d spend the night with her in the summer during my tween years, I would read through them all. Cosmopolitan. Glamour. New Woman. Mademoiselle. The National Enquirer. And seed catalogs. Granma has always had the greenest thumb ever, and she grew the biggest, prettiest zinnias and the most red, ripe tomatoes. I’d stay up late reading then get up early and pick beans and shuck corn with the rest of the family.

Back then the late Helen Gurley Brown ran Cosmo and it was about finding yourself before finding a man. I read mostly the career and fashion articles (I wanted to be a well-dressed novelist), but occasionally I’d pore over a more adult piece. I felt like I knew way more than my sixth-grade classmates did after reading Cosmo. (I may have had the knowledge, but I sure didn’t know how to put it into practice.)

When I got a little older, I moved on to her novels. The first one my grandmother and I both read and shared a love for was Gone with the Wind. She lent it to me to read over Christmas break during my sophomore year of high school. I couldn’t put that thick, blue paperback down – I stayed up until two in the morning reading about Scarlett and wondering why she couldn’t see that Rhett was The Man. I felt like a grown-up after reading such a long book! And I felt for Scarlett when she had to harvest those potatoes.

The next was the North and South trilogy by John Jakes (Charles was my favorite character), then we moved on to his Crown Family series and the Kent Family Chronicles. Many more followed, such as John Grisham’s lawyer books (we think we might be distant relatives of John’s), the Da Vinci Code, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, a ton of trashy romances by Sandra Brown, a Jackie Collins or two. Rhett Butler’s People was the last book we shared. So it seems we’ve come full circle.

Granma, who just celebrated her 90th birthday, has always been a free spirit. She has always known how to enjoy life. Whether it was seeing Elvis in small-town Alabama, or telling stories while shelling purple-hulled peas, or going out dancing with her boyfriends in her 60s and 70s, she’s always known how to have a ball. And she’s always known how to pick out a great book. I’d like to think I learned that from her.

The Hangman’s Daughter – Oliver Potzsch

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I had back surgery a little over a week ago. The operation was a great success, but it was a long week recovering in bed. I stared at hurricane Isaac for hours. I yelled “higher” at the Price is Right contestants. She would have won both showcases if she would have only listened to me. I had staring competitions with my dog (he won) and organized the top drawer in my nightstand. In all that excitement I found time to organize my Kindle and discovered a book I read a few years ago that I absolutely loved. It is a historical mystery about a witch hunt that takes place in 17th century Bavaria and I had to share it.

The book is called “The Hangman’s Daughter” by Oliver Potzsch. The book was originally written in German but is translated to English by Lee Chadeayne. The book begins with the death of a child in a small town.  The death is suspicious and when a strange mark is found on the child, the town immediately suspects the work of the devil. With no immediate devil coming forward the town council decides to blame a midwife who they also believe dabbles in witchcraft. She is a strange woman and although she delivered most of their children the citizens of the town need someone to blame. They arrest the woman, throw her into prison and begin to elicit a “confession”.

Well, the way things go back in Ye Olde 17th century Bavaria is that if someone accuses you of a crime you are tortured until one of two things happen: (1) You confess and then are executed or (2) You die from the torture. Talk about a no-win situation. The job to carry out this task falls upon the town’s hangman, Jakob Kuisl. It turns out Jakob is a very intelligent man and deep down loathes executing people. After speaking to the midwife he is convinced of her innocence; however, the only way to save her is to find the real killer. Jakob reluctantly enlists the help of his daughter and the son of the town’s doctor to figure out what is happening in the small town. As more strange markings begin to appear on children the town grows witch crazy and demands that Jakob obtain a “confession” before any more children die. Jakob and his daughter must solve the mystery or the innocent woman will be put to death by Jakob himself.

The storyline and character development in this mystery are superb. As a reader we are given a glimpse into the mind of a man caught between civic duty and a higher calling. The writing is simply amazing and the characters come alive in a way that is rare among historical mysteries. The storyline is every bit a history lesson as it is a fast paced thriller with twist after twist. The other thing that makes this novel special is that the author is actually a descendant of a 17th century hangman’s family.  This discovered connection prompted the writing of the book and the detailed historical accuracy.

Again, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. If you are looking for something a little outside the norm with a little brain stirring, check it out. This one will have you hooked in no time.

Healing Grief, Finding Peace

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My father passed away last week, and as I do not have the time or financial resources to sit down with a grief counselor, I chose to do the next best thing—I bought a book written by an expert in bereavement.

I’ve come to the conclusion that shopping for a book which deals with grief is a highly individualized process for each person. While grief is universal, each person’s process of doing so is unique, so needs will vary. After browsing through available selections, I chose Healing Grief, Finding Peace: 101 Ways to Cope with the Death of Your Loved One by Dr. Louis E LeGrand.

I have not made my way through the entire book yet, but what I like so much about this particular offering is that you don’t have to read the chapters in chronological order. You can pick and choose what you feel you need to read given your current coping requirements. And what I have read so far has been more than helpful.

Please feel free to pass this recommendation on to those who might be interested. And if you have any suggestions of your own, please feel free to share them in the comments section.

If You Were Here – Jen Lancaster

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It was the book that I wanted to love.

Like Duckie dreamed of Andie (in Pretty in Pink) or Keith idolized Amanda Jones (in Some Kind of Wonderful) I yearned to fall in love with Jen Lancaster’s fiction debut, If You Were Here. Having read my way through Lancaster’s catalog of memoirs, I anxiously awaited this title. And then anxiously awaited again while Kindle figured out how to streamline those pesky (and much loved) footnotes that define Lancaster’s style. And I finally sat down to read it.

And I did not fall in love (which is why I name-checked Duckie and not Blaine, Amanda and not Watts). There are so many points that should make me fall in love with it, but it just didn’t happen. The book features multiple John Hughes movie references (including a house that plays a pivotal role in a movie that also featured the song that is the same name of the book. Too obtuse? Sigh; Sixteen Candles! It’s Jake Ryan’s house!), an almost gang war with a gang of bumbling idiots and a self-important heiress with a name out of a reality show and ripped-from-the-tabloid antics. And then she threw in two obscure, awesome references from my childhood — Mr. Yuk stickers & Gamera the Japanese monster movie turtle for whom my pet turtle is named.

But it didn’t mesh like I wanted it to. And it might be just because Lancaster’s other books are so damn well-written, this one just doesn’t reach the bar that she’s set.