It's where horror gets BENT…
Episode 65: THE APPARITION and QUICKIE REVIEWS
Aug 25, 2012
by Patrick
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- That's right. You SHOULD look ashamed!
I’m back from vacation, and for the life of me I had the hardest time trying to find one movie worth talking about. So instead, you’re getting:
Four Forgettable Flicks: HEADHUNTER: THE ASSESSMENT WEEKEND, SHOCK LABYRINTH and THE APPARITION
One Decent (but not yet widely available) Flick: [REC]3: GENESIS
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- Now THAT"s my kind of Bridezilla!
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- Ever notice the more indie awards, the worse the movie is?
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- Beware The Bunny!
…and a whole lotta NEW YORK THEATER (deal with it!)
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- Sean Galuszka & Chris Sams
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- No Capri's! No Flip Flops!...No Sleeves....yum!
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Episode 63: FEED and TIME AFTER TIME
Aug 3, 2012
by Patrick
Special Guest: ALENA ACKER!
Take a trip through time with me, world-famous actress ALENA ACKER and HG WELLS as we try to stop JACK THE RIPPER, who’s on a new killing spree in 1970′s San Francisco! You should be sure to wear some flowers in your hair, but whether or not you bring your cellophane pants is up to you…
And then, I put listener SHAWN from the MORE HORROR THAN HORROR podcast up against the wall for daring to recommend the Aussie thriller FEED from 2005.
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- Patrick Thompson may suffer from McConaughey No-Shirt Syndrome
Plus, RE-ANIMATOR: THE MUSICAL, y’all!!
Oh yeah, it’s also the show’s second anniversary. Thanks for forgetting. *sniff*
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Episode 64: FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 5
Jul 19, 2012
by Patrick
Can you believe it? Another Friday the 13th has passed us by, which means I’m overdue for the next installment of the FRIDAY THE 13th SPECTACULARRRR! We’re now up to the fifth film in the series, FRIDAY THE 13th PART V: A NEW BEGINNING. And it’s a new beginning, all right. It’s the beginning of the end of my love affair with this franchise. Oh hush! This movie is terrible, and you know it!
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- Even the box art is cheap.
I sat down with Mister Brad to watch it again. He’s never seen it before, and I thought we were both going to need new glasses after all the eye-rolling we did. Of course, the saving grace is hearing him singing the “Ooh, baby! Ooh baby!” thing in the shower ever since. (Expect audio soon!)
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- Seriously, that's just...just...narshty.
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- What, is Faux Jason doing Tai Chi now? Pfft!
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- It is not showtime. Now stop it. We're embarrassed for you.
Also, expect a lot of talk about my trip to Denver for the GALA 2012 convention. Yeah yeah, suck it up. I try to make it as fun as possible. Plus I get a little heavy and reveal some DEEP TRUTHS, so make sure you have Kleenex handy. Not like that, you pig! Gad, you’re disgusting
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- Fellow Screamer CHAD & I rendezvous in Denver
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- The BIG GAY SING Finale at GALA, Denver 2012.
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Episode 62: HELLO MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT II
Jul 4, 2012
by Patrick
Happy Independence Day, Screamerz! Since that last episode came out a little late, this one’s hitting you a little early. That’s called balance, bitches!
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- Special Guest #1: Miss KAREN MACK
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- Download TAKE THAT on Amazon for just $8.99!
So your date might be a little late, but it is finally time to be whisked away to the senior prom! And it’s going to be one helluva Party…
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- No tiara for YOU, Mary Lou!
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- Just a girl and her adult-sized rocking horse...
In 1957, Mary Lou Maloney‘s dream of being crowned prom queen went up in flames. And now…she’s going to get that tiara if it kills you!
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- "The lady at Sears said it's JUST like the one Liz Taylor wore to the Oscars!"
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- The lady at Sears LIED!
That’s right! It’s finally time to discuss the Canadian camp classic HELLO MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT II. And joining me is my evil twin and fellow Screamer, listener TRAE DEAN. Sitting next to him, with a flask of hootch in her bra and a spare pair of undies in her purse, is New York City cabaret songstress, the luscious Miss KAREN MACK.
And oh what a ménage it is!
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- Special Guest #2: Listener TRAE DEAN!
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- Why is this picture here?? Listen and learn!
Tell your mama not to wait up, cuz when this prom’s over, NOBODY’S coming home!
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Episode 61: THE HOUSE OF SEVEN CORPSES and SMILE
Jun 17, 2012
by Patrick
WARNING: This episode is CURSED. You have been warned.
First up, THE NIGHTMARE CLOSET returns, and its hinges are ready to burst. I’m going to take my second attempt at watching THE HOUSE OF SEVEN CORPSES as an adult. For a movie that’s not particularly scary, it still fills me with dread. It’s time to purge this demon from my soul and get on with my life. I’m just going to hold on to this teddy bear. And this tequila. And this shotgun.
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- Worst. Spa treatment. EVER.
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- Faith Domergue & her Invisibilty Cloak
Sadly, the Curse of Episode 61 struck the recording of my HELLO MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT II segment. She’ll be back next time, so instead you get an extra CRAPSHOOT feature. It’s a cautionary tale of why one shouldn’t buy outdated photographic equipment from undead mass murdereres. It’s called SMILE starring Armand Assante. Ironically, I’m not happy about this or about bumping poor Mary Lou. I might have taken out my aggression on this poor movie.
Too bad. SUFFER.
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- Sigh. That dress is RUINED.
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- "SMILE: I'm bored."
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- Seriously. What the HELL is this supposed to be?
Oh, and if you’re wearing flip flops while listening to this, you might want to take them off. You have been warned. Again.
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Episode 60: THE CHERNOBYL DIARIES
Jun 1, 2012
by Patrick
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- Smile! It's the GROUP PHOTO OF DOOM!
Privyet, my Krasivaya Screamers! It’s time to pack your bags, your radiation suits and your douche bags, because we’re off to Russia with the a truly stupid group of A-holes with THE CHERNOBYL DIARIES! I’m joined by my favorite West Coast pervert, SCOTT from The SATYRSPHERE podcast. Neither one of us cared for the movie at all, so expect rampant innuendo and Broadway tangents aplenty.
I’d apologize in advance if I had any sense of decorum, which I don’t, so let’s move on.
And while you’re at it, be sure to pick up former guest host HOMER MARRS‘ new EP called PROM KING featuring 4 songs both hilarious and rather sexypants.
Pay you you can (and for god’s sake, give him something!) over at homermarrs.bandcamp.com
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