This is the story of Shimako Matsui, aka "Shima". She is the love of my life. I have tried to reach out to her, but with no success.
Thus, I must close this chapter, but to do so, I must tell her story. Shima was born in Mie Prefecture in 1969. She was born with IBS,
and she almost died as a child. Growing up, she told me she was a rebellious child, always giving her parents trouble. Rather than studying
she became fascianted with English. She dreamed of traveling the world, while her mom worked at Toshiba and her sister studied to
become a nurse. Her dad became bed ridden due to a bad motorcycle accident and was unable to provide for his family. Shima told me
her father was abusive towards her mother, yet she managed to raise her two daughters. Shima, would find herself traveling to the United
States, Canada, and Hawaii in the pursuit of her love for the English language. In Hawaii, she wanted to become a massage therapist,
but was unable to finish her studies due to being treated badly by a man. This is what I believe why she dumped me, in some twisted
form of revenge to make her feel better. I had nothing to do with it. We met through JapanCupid and had many long Skype talks. I didn't
realize it at the time, but she would always dominate the conversations and expect me to make all of the changes necessary to make
this work. I am not sure if she went to see about the spousal visa, but wanted to me to be the only one working. How stupid could I be.
She would tell me her mom would welcome me into her house, yet when I almost canceled me trip after an argument, Shima told me her
mother now hated me. I tried to apologize, but I think for whatever reason, she felt I broke the trust. What makes this hard is that
I saw her through her hard times, accepted her IBS and everything that came with her. Yet, she was unwilling to do the same. I did make
it to Japan, but she required I go through a "punishment". In short, I couldn't deal with all the conditions even though I spent over
6,000 dollars to make it work. I don't know what will ever make her satisfied and it really hurts. The door will always be open, but
I don't think any guy can make her happy because she wants perfection. Also, she will never admit she is wrong and tell everything
whats wrong about you.

Shima, if you read this I hope you send an email no matter where you are. I will never give up hoping someday you will contact me,
but for whatever reasons only known to you, you are keeping your distance. I tried to be honest with you, but you have never told me
your real reasons. That is why I have tried to go through craigslist. You make assumpations and you don't realize how wrong you are.
I don't know what you want. You never expressed yourself to me and if you are going to want a relationship with an American or anybody from
a western country you have to learn to open up. You have to stop comparing guys with your dad. its twisted and not healthy.

I really hope to hear from you.

In conclusion, Shima currently is working for a pajama rental company at a hospital in the Shinjuku area. Her sister works as a nurse in Mie Prefecture
which I think Shima is moving back to. Her brother-in-law works with Toshiba in Nagoya. I do wish her the best. If you know where
Jyus palace in Shinjuku is apt 204 maybe you can tell her how much I miss her.

• Location: Kashiwa City Chiba
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests