While Tokyo generally has very good restaurants, the theme restaurants get it all wrong. A lot of the issues I've observed over the years stem from a corrupt management system and people being placed in a position of leadership when they really shouldn't be.  This affects most other service industries as well. If there's money to be made, the anti social crime groups are involved and that's where things go bad. Most of the inferior produce, meat and seafood are from China or Southeast Asia and the foreign( non-management)  staff is a step above slave labor.


The gangsters not only provide security for the many theme restaurants, but they have a giant influence on how they are run and making money for the boss is the bottom line. Tits and ass mean money, so any stupid theme is lost once you get your pathetic, touristy ass beyond the doors.





   Beware of the sign, it may have nothing to do with what is happening behind the doors.......

While in short supply, Entertainer visas are easily arranged with the right criminal connections, the cost of using foreigners as labor is a huge incentive. Go to any immigration office in Japan and you'll see a Japanese organized crime member with a group of  sexy South East Asian women. The girls are usually willing to do whatever it takes to keep that  prized visa (which have been reduced by 80% since 2009). Only the ladies who will go to extremes by doing what their employers demand can stay in Japan legally. Some backroom deals are made with the immigration officials and it's all taken care of.



In October 2011, some new laws went into effect in Tokyo and Okinawa making it a crime to pay off the criminal underworld or profit from dealing with them. The public and any business owners or investors  who expected this news to bring changes have been very disappointed. Other than a high profile comedian outings and the Olympus bust it is all the same.

  The real victims here are the dining public and the children. Inferior food and deceptive advertising targeted at Japan's youth  are giving all theme restaurants a bad name recently. The restaurants have much deeper organizational issues with the gangs that run them..... If a set tribute is not paid on time, the shops manager may get some after hours influence to get him to pay up promptly- and they always do. Therefore, sex and marketing at undesirable customers ( ie.  free spending,horny, drunken foreigners) are a necessity.

The 4 hour bus ride and a month of planning have finally paid off. The group from the sticks has arrived at their dream destination!

Long- haired English teacher, Masayuki Tanaka , 52, of Sendai Bijin Junior High is totally outraged. 


“I should have sensed something was wrong in Sendai. The manager tried to discourage me from making a reservation for the large group. 54 of us including the kids. We took a 4 hour bus ride from Sendai for this and we had to turn right around and take the kids to a more appropriate place.


We had to split into 4 groups and take the kids to the same crummy family restaurants we have in Tohoku. They were heartbroken. They'd been wanting to come here since they won a contest by raising the most money for the earthquake victims. This new cafe opened in Tokyo based on a popular idol group all the kids love.I knew it was too good to be true ".




After a day of shopping, these German businessmen relax with some flirty wait staff!

"I walked in with the kids and had to cancel the whole thing after 30 seconds of looking around! It was like Sodom in there. A bunch of loud, drunken foreigners with a bunch of third world floozies. Hardly an appropriate place to bring a busload of 12 year olds for their first meal in the big city. 


They didn't even play Jpop music! I think I heard Motley Crue's  'Girls, Girls, Girls' playing on our short visit. There was no way I was going to sit there with a group of 48 kids from the countryside while these animals are up to these shenanigans at the next table.  It took a lot of meetings for me to get this trip approved by the PTA to begin with. I owe it to the parents to pull the plug on the whole thing if I feel something is rotten in Denmark".

  Also on a trip into Tokyo, this American serviceman based in Ammori, goes to extremes on his days off in the popular Tokyo theme restaurant.

"Other than the outside of the restaurant, there was absolutely nothing to do with the popular singing idols they advertised on the web site. In fact, I don't even think any of the floor ladies were Japanese!  The place was packed and the drinks were flowing. This was lunchtime, mind you. I can't imagine what goes on in there once it gets dark. I peeked into the Gundam Cafe nearby, it was much less overtly sexual and more full of Japanese nerds, but there was no space for such a large group".






This restaurant has absolutely nothing to do with the family friendly theme advertised outside. Schoolchildren snapping photos don't bother this Aussie customer a bit!

"Now, while I'm a gentleman, I'm no prude. When I first meet a woman I'll take off my cap. Then maybe I'll walk around behind her and sniff her ass as if we were two dogs on the street. But I know the time and place for it. I don't go to Melbourne or Hawaii and behave like a chimp in heat. If I want to act in such a rude way I would  go to a proper pink salon or maybe a Hooters"








Mortified, Tanaka sensei shouts " Kids, get back on the bus right now! We came to the wrong place........."






 With Entertainer visas in short supply, the foreign gals have to put up with a lot to keep their job and stay in the country!





"These foreign pigs, while helping the economy, act like barbarians. You would never see Japanese acting in such a distasteful way while traveling abroad. We are all ambassadors to our great nation. These white devils and the Chinese are so uncivilized. I hope their wives and employers back home see the photos and take action on their hairy asses!"

A Russian tourist had too much to drink at the Gundam Cafe. He relieved himself in front of dozens of unfazed, hardworking Japanese at Akihabara Station on this cold February night....

The Japanese anti social groups control the whole entertainment industry, unlike the US where the mafia controls only the adult entertainment industry. Therefore, getting license for anything is easy as long as you pay. No standards are required. This is one of the main reasons you see so many minimally talented “talent” in the acting and music business. Any woman you see on TV is probably a side girlfriend of a mid to high ranking organized crime member.

Theme restaurants fall into the entertainment category.....there is no one to complain to if the product doesn't have anything to do with the  stated theme or celebrities name on the sign. This goes from everything to children's toys to restaurants.



After doing my research, I've come to the conclusion that Japan is totally fucked. While Tanaka sensei's group had the worst class trip ever, you shouldn't complain. Deal with it. Busloads of free spending, drunken white foreigners are a lot more profitable than groups of rural schoolchildren with low per diem. They can bugger off and go to a boring museum or some shit!

  On a 10 day holiday, this gentleman from Liverpool  spends money like it was nothing, unlike those dopey kids from the countryside.





Tanaka sensei and the 48 unlucky children left Tokyo at 6:30 pm after finding flavored condoms on the nightstands and marital aids for sale in each of the rooms of their business class hotel in Ueno. They drove past the Tokyo Sky Tree ( still under construction) and had bentos on the long,cold bus ride back to Sendai.






Oy gevalt! Forget those shitty theme restaurants and the anti social groups that run them, I'm eating at home tonight!





* special thanks to Tanaka sensei's class for sending me the photos they took from their 1 minute visit to the _______ Cafe.