Hi,
when I first got with my ex boyfriend in September, every time we tried to have sex, he could get it up, & we could go at it for quite a while, but every time he’d “lose it”. He found this really embarrassing, however the problem ceased after a month or so.
Four months later, we’re broken up. However a little over a week ago he came to my house & we ended up having sex, and there were no problems at all.
But I was with him again last night & we had sex three times, but each time he lost it mid-way through the sex, and he felt really embarrassed about it and says he feels guilty towards me because he can’t satisfy my needs. bless.
I’ve researched Erectile Dysfunction on google & I think it’s probably a psychological problem.
“# nerves – especially about performing”
I don’t think he’s nervous, because he’s very confident about his abilities.
“# guilt – notably if you’re trying to have sex with somebody else’s wife”
I was thinking guilt might be a problem – he knows I still want to be with him, but he doesn’t want a proper relationship at the moment, & he might worry that he’ll be giving me the wrong idea by having sex with me?
“# relationship problems – especially if you’re no longer keen on your partner”
same as above, we’re not together anymore. but he’s assured me he’s ‘keen’ on me – he just isn’t ready for a serious relationship at the moment.
“# latent gayness – for instance, if you’re a basically gay guy, trying to have sex with a woman”
he’s definitely not gay
“# depression”
he’s never showed any signs of depression.
“# exhaustion.”
he does do ridiculous hours at work, but he had the weekend off so he wouldn’t have been very exhausted.
Does anyone know what the problem might be? Thanks
* he doesn’t drink a lot, he drinks about as much as the next person generally.
Although the second time we tried this weekend, we’d both had a can of lager each, but that doesn’t explain the first time.
** he doesn’t smoke or take drugs either. he wants to see a doctor but he’s too nervous & embarrassed and isn’t entirely sure what to say.
Chosen Answer:
It is almost certainly a psychological problem if he is younger than his 40′s. He has something bothering him about sex with you or maybe sex in general. The frustrating thing about these cases is that the patient often cannot really figure out what is going on in their own mind. Be as patient and supportive as you can. Remind him that there are lots of other ways to please a woman besides intercourse.
by: Joachin Murrieta
on: 17th January 09