On June 8th, after several years of petitioning, my sister Julia was finally permitted to visit me in New York. This was a monumental occasion, as my younger siblings are usually used as pawns to get me to come to where the family is. And dangit, if my sister was going to be in town, probably for the only time in her life, I was going to show her the best time she'd ever seen.
A photo Julia took of my neighborhood, as it appears in the wild
So when Julia gets in on Tuesday night, I take her to the Lodge for dinner. Under ceramic antlers and the watchful gaze of a tattooed anorexic waitress, we had chicken fingers and skirt steak and talked about Important Things. The next day, however, was dismal. It rained--so much rain--and it was hot. And when New York gets wet and hot everything smells like garbage. And I had to go to work so Julia had to spend the whole day at lunch alone.
This is Kelsey
We went to Lombardi's for lunch, where I introduced her to the Best Pizza Combination imaginable: ricotta and pepperoni. Julia was mollified by the food, and by seeing her friend Kelsey, but the weather and the genuinely blah feel of the whole day conspired against her.
Julia's friend Chloe
Thursday, Julia's friend Chloe was in the city, so I didn't feel so bad about leaving her alone all day. After work, we went shopping on Broadway, which was well enough, until I passed this new store called All Saints and I thought, "Huh. My roommate Alexis said I would really like this place. I should go in."
No, my friends, I should not have gone in. You know how when you get an Anthropologie catalogue and you look at the pages of beautiful long-haired brunettes lounging about in Icelandic huts on impossibly expensive furniture and you think "Yes, this, I want all of this. This is how I see my future" and you want to buy everything in said catalogue? All Saints is my Anthropologie. Everything from the basics-with-a-twist design to the lux knitwear to the 19th-century silk prints had me foaming at the mouth. Over the course of the next week, I will have returned to All Saints over 4 more times, spending over $700. This is not money I have! This is crazy! But I love it all SO MUCH.
Julia in her new All Saints sweater
No, my friends, I should not have gone in. You know how when you get an Anthropologie catalogue and you look at the pages of beautiful long-haired brunettes lounging about in Icelandic huts on impossibly expensive furniture and you think "Yes, this, I want all of this. This is how I see my future" and you want to buy everything in said catalogue? All Saints is my Anthropologie. Everything from the basics-with-a-twist design to the lux knitwear to the 19th-century silk prints had me foaming at the mouth. Over the course of the next week, I will have returned to All Saints over 4 more times, spending over $700. This is not money I have! This is crazy! But I love it all SO MUCH.
Julia in her new All Saints sweater
On this visit (Round 1) I bought Julia a grey sweatshirt and myself a silk dress. I drop off Chloe at her car, then take Julia on a brief walk around Time Square. We get our snack on at juniors, where Brooke comes to visit us and engage in some late-night cheese consumption. All of this would be much more rock n' roll for me if I hadn't had to get up at like, 4am for the temple. Weeeeeeeeeeak.
Friday, my Fake Husband was sweet enough to hang out with my sister while I returned to my world-cup-frenzied office. Seriously, I'm right across from the British executives' office, and every time there's a goal there is SO MUCH yelling, and I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack. Plus, there's all of these weird account girls who keep going in and making questionable amorous-sounding noises that sound a lot like a bad Sex in the City episode. Hey look guys, it's the one where Samantha tries to impress her boss by acting like she cares about Mexico's World Cup performance. Empowerment!
Met up with Mark and Julia at Lombardi's. For some weird reason, Mark was not as enamored with the Perfect Combination as Julia and I were. He was, however, as enamored as we were by All Saints, which we stopped by on my way back to the office for Round 2 (what?!? It's around the corner from the pizza place!) This time, I bought a sweater with this equestrian leather-and-brass detail. Amazing. Julia was chocked by indecision and couldn't decide. Mark bought the world's sexiest sweater, which it has been too hot to wear (serious frowny face on that one).
I took Julia on a tour of the office so she could see all the exciting things I do. She seemed genuinely excited by the atmosphere and the products we represent, which was great. Dad was super impressed too, but he ultimately things there is something dishonest about advertising. Julia on the other hand seems to love it as much as I do, so it's nice to have someone in the family to bond with.
After work, I meet up with Julia and Kelsey at 30 Rock. On the way there, I walked 2 blocks alongside Patrick Stewart. People kept shaking his hand and yelling "Hey, Captain Picard!" at him. I was surprised he had so many black male fans, as the stereotypical Star Trek: TNG fan is, in my mind's eye, awkward white dudes. Clearly, this is the problem with stereotypes: we miss profound cross-cultural truths.
We go into the NBC store, meet up with Anna, and then head over to Anthropologie. Now, this will be sad to admit, but for the interest of Professional Journalism I must be truthful about the facts. Remember, dear readers, how a short month ago I was depressed to realize that Boston was maybe kind of a little maybe a bit provincial maybe? And remember when a trip to Uniqulo made me realize that HM was rubbish and Japanese basics were the way of the future? Well, All Saints has spoiled me against Anthropologie. Don't get me wrong-the store has some great stuff, it's still totally aspirational and beautiful and adorable, but I found that I didn't have the same passion for the clothes. And I'm willing to admit it's because I'm euphemistically curvy and All Saints clothing looks better on euphemisms than Anthropolgie clothes do. But that said, it was a sad day, realizing my favorite clothing store was now only my second favorite. It was a bit like having a second child, and thinking you'll love him equally, but you realize you love the new baby more because it's cuter and it doesn't require that expensive heart valve replacement.
After clothing shopping, Anna accompanied the 3 of us to Popburger, where we eat small burgers and listen to Missy Elliot's "Pass The Dutch" at least 3 times. Then, a horrible decision was made: to return to Anna's apartment so Julia and Kelsey could show us the Olsen's straight-to-video classic Holiday in the Sun.
I don't even know where to start with this movie. The French credits? The screenplay built around an Atlantis Resort infomercial? The 90s wardrobe? The dialogue that was ostensibly written by a screenwriter but which was in fact probably written by the twins themselves? The brief appearance of a teenage Megan Fox who speaks in a helium-high voice and may or may not have a belly chain? I don't know. I have no answers for you.
There is no where in the world that makes me happier than amusement parks. Consistently in my dreams, "Happiness" is coded through the meme of "roller coaster." If I'm on an island and there's an amusement park on the mainland and I missed the ferry, …you can tell what that means. If I can’t find a friend at the amusement park, I'll bet you can guess what that symbolizes. And when I climb on board the world's best roller coaster with my best friend, that's pretty obvious too. (Seriously, I dream about amusement parks A LOT)
So when Julia wanted to spend a Saturday doing New York things, it was pretty obvious to me she was going to have to experience the joy that is Coney Island, despite the fact that no one wanted to go (white people are pusssies about the 'cleanliness' level at Coney Island, even though it's vastly superior to any other area of Brooklyn). The main problem? Julia is scared of roller coasters.
But that didn't stop us from going on the Ferris wheel, or getting nachos, or walking the boardwalk and watching those crazy dudes fish for crab off the pier.
And it didn't stop us from eating at Nathan's and going on a carousel and getting our photos awkwardly taken in an awkwardly-timed photo booth. Because it's summer! And we're in New York! And everything that comes out of a New York summer is awesome, even if you're scared of fast rides.
When we got back home, we rented The Warriors so we could get our Coney Island fix. Plus, Mark and I had never seen it, and it seems a bit silly to be living in New York having never seen The Warriors.
Sunday, I gave an awkward lesson, made more awkward by the fact that I still don't know what to do with the Book of Samuel. Afterwards, we watched Germany versus Australia, one of the most awesome games I have seen so far in the World Cup. Julia accompanied me to yoga, and then afterwards we invited her friend Kelsey to watch Hot Rod and sleep over. I sort of liked having a huge crush of people on my bed vegging out to terrible movies--it felt like home.
Mary, getting healthy post-yoga
When we got back home, we rented The Warriors so we could get our Coney Island fix. Plus, Mark and I had never seen it, and it seems a bit silly to be living in New York having never seen The Warriors.
Sunday, I gave an awkward lesson, made more awkward by the fact that I still don't know what to do with the Book of Samuel. Afterwards, we watched Germany versus Australia, one of the most awesome games I have seen so far in the World Cup. Julia accompanied me to yoga, and then afterwards we invited her friend Kelsey to watch Hot Rod and sleep over. I sort of liked having a huge crush of people on my bed vegging out to terrible movies--it felt like home.
Mary, getting healthy post-yoga
On Monday (June 14 already!), I took the day off to hang out with Julia. I introduced her to the B-list talent and the D-list production values that make Tales from the Darkside such a success. After a few episodes, we motivate ourselves enough to put on shoes, than amble out into the bright sunlight to pick up Julia's friend Erica. I took the girls to the local Brooklyn too-twee-for-school joint, Pies n' Thighs, which has one of the best chicken biscuits possible (caveat: in a land without Chick-fil-a).
Julia and a missing Erica at Pies n' Thighs
I'm not telling this story to talk about what an awesome sister I am, but rather to share with you a little bit of emotion. So, like all meals I've taken Julia and her friends too, I paid for lunch. And I got to tell you dude, when you buy poor struggling kids a lunch, it's like their faces light up. They relax, their shoulders drop, they smile more--they're SO GREATFUL for food. And I think it's sweet, because I can remember feeling so bad about having adults pay for my food when I was in school, but it meant a whole lot to me. And I love that I have the means to do things like pick up lunch every once in a while and buy my sister sweaters she wants but she can’t afford. Isn’t that what sisters are for, anyway?
Erica, being a good friend, is patient enough to accompany us to Broadway for All Saints Round 3 (this time shorts and a shirt!). We also stopped in Zara, which was pretty appalling. As I twittered earlier, "Such a fugly collection-almost as bad as american apparel's lauren-hutton-crackhead look."
We parted ways with Lauren, then went to the Starbucks on Canal Street and changed into our new clothes. Caught the E train into Brooklyn, then met up with Mark, Kelsey, and Brooke at Grimaldi's.
While the food at Grimaldi's was good, as always, Julia and I ordered ricotta and pepperoni and were VERY displeased to discover the Perfect Combination was in fact only perfect at Lombardi's. Grimaldi's pizza tasted bland and soggy in comparison. Notice I said in comparison!
It's not like Grimaldi's is ever going to be bad. But one thing it's always going to have going for it is the location. Right by the wharf, under the Brooklyn Bridge, near DUMBO, it's pretty much the best of old Brooklyn in a bottle.
Julia leaving Tuesday morning was pretty devastating. As a family, we REALLY don't like being apart, and having Julia in town was just a reminder of how much more lonely and depressing my life is without her in it. She has a huge amount of energy and optimism and positivity, she's jovial without being mean spirited, adventurous and smart. She is the light of my boyfriend's life, and she makes everything around her seem more fun. So it was really awful having to say goodbye to her at the street corner. I cried all the way to the office. I mean seriously, without Julia who can I count on to take awesome pictures like these:
To get a sense of how crazy my family is, let me put our Twitter feeds in perspective (Julia is @levesinetlepecq, our younger sister Jordan is @jonezz07, I am @alexiaiscariot)
Mary: I have the best sister in the world. So sad to see her go
Jordan: I have the best sister in the world...pish posh. Thanks @alexiaiscariot
Mary: @jonezz07: hey at least she visits me which no one else will do! But srsly, i love all you equally. Except margaret bc she's in italy w/o me
Jordan: @alexiaiscariot lies. you know i would visit you if i could! Mom is cray cray!
Julia: @jonezz07 and @AlexiaIscariot look, our family should never seperate. Its just awful when we do.
Jordan: @levesinetlepecq you know you have issues and if it were up to you we'd all be in the same room all the time :)
Mary: @levesinetlepecq: hey remember that time when our family was seperated for no good reason? Oh wait THAT JUST HAPPENED
Julia: @jonezz07 well duh... When you're older and you leave you'll understand better. We just have the best family of all time.
Mary: @jonezz07: i think @levesinetlepecq and i would be happy just to all be in the same house again. Or at least the same town
Jordan: @levesinetlepecq and @alexiaiscariot yall are just cray cray really
Mary: @levesinetlepecq is right @jonezz07. We have the worlds best family. Also sorry @theenrighthouse for the million texts your phone is getting