There are many differences in what is considered polite in the US and Japan, and it will probably be a subject I will return to often. There are a lot of situations where a response that is considered polite in the US would be taken as rude in Japan.

In the US, it’s considered polite to be open ended about what others want. For example, if we offer assistance to someone, we are often vague, in case the person doesn’t want help, or so they don’t feel that we are forcing our will upon them. So we often say something like, “Can I help you?” and a common response would be, “If you want to.” in order to give the person an ‘out’ if they were offering help out of duty, not because they really wanted to.

This approach is very bad with Japanese… It’s actually considered insulting, especially if it is someone close to you. It’s much better to be direct and it is expected that if you say something, you mean it.

Or just simply do it, in some cases.

In the above example, “If you want to.” makes no sense to a Japanese person. A question like that should instead be answered as a “Yes, thank you” or a “No, thank you.”

In a similar vein, Japanese will also use “Yes” when they are saying “No” when asked a question. Here is an example:

Person 1: “Do you don’t understand what I’m saying?”

US answer: “No, I don’t understand”

Japan answer: “Yes, I do not understand”

The reason for this is that in Japan they tend to avoid saying “No” so as not to seem negative toward others.