VOX POPULI: Equality for man and wife is hard to achieve

"Danjo Doryo" (Men and women in equal parts) is the title of an essay by the actress Sadako Sawamura (1908-1996).

One day, Sawamura shopped for a set of meoto-jawan (his-and-her teacups or rice bowls) that usually come in two sizes. She spotted a set of navy and red rice bowls that she liked but noticed they were the same size.

Traditionally, the bowl for a man is larger than the one meant for his wife. To Sawamura, who was accustomed to seeing a smaller bowl snuggled up to a larger one, the set of same-sized bowls seemed like a breath of fresh air. She bought them and put them side by side on her table. The fact that they were the same size made her happy, she wrote.

Astronaut Naoko Yamazaki's journey into space Monday aboard the Space Shuttle Discovery reminded me of Sawamura's essay.

Although, logically, many married couples identify with "danjo doryo" thinking, it is difficult to actually put into practice.

Yamazaki's husband, Taichi, quit his job to devote himself to housework, childcare and nursing his aging parents. His mixed feelings are evident in "Shin-Uchu Kazoku" (New space family), a serial column that ran in a supplement of the vernacular Asahi Shimbun.

Taichi experienced internal conflict over his situation and became both physically and mentally unstable. His wife Naoko felt trapped in a difficult situation. The couple faced a crisis. Everything they had built looked like it might fall apart.

Naoko writes in her book that a verse attributed to the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971) helped save them: "O God, give us serenity to accept what cannot be changed, courage to change what should be changed ... ."

Once again, I realize that space travel is part of the broad tapestry of human activity.

Returning to Sawamura, she wrote that having a rice bowl as large as her husband's tended to make her eat too much. She realized the problem but ended the essay with the sentence: "I want to somehow make good use of it."

We now live in a time when we are supposed to skillfully put the same amount of happiness in rice bowls for wife and husband. The space shuttle is orbiting the Earth, a planet filled with married couples.

--The Asahi Shimbun, April 7

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Vox Populi, Vox Dei is a popular daily column that takes up a wide range of topics, including culture, arts and social trends and developments. Written by veteran Asahi Shimbun writers, the column provides useful perspectives on and insights into contemporary Japan and its culture.