The World’s Weirdest Vending Machines
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By Charlie Sorrel
- August 13, 2008 |
- 6:52 am |
- Categories: Household
Today’s news that Best Buy is to put vending machines into airports got me thinking about these automated, mechanical stores. Vending machines can be incredibly useful if they are put in the right place, and sell the right things. They are available 24 hours and can empower even the shyest of shoppers to buy normally embarrassing items (toilet paper, anyone?)
Best Buy has it right, loading up on the kind of things every traveler needs — cellphone chargers and travel adapters, for example. But for every beverage machine in the gym there is a surreal counterpart, sometimes handy, and sometimes just plain nutty. And as you expect, most of the machines on this list come from the spiritual home of the vending machine: Japan.
Photo [Japanese Toilets/ Richard Seaman]
Marijuana
Where? California, of course. The marijuana is for medical use, and you can’t just walk in, drop a few coins and roll out with a bag of weed. The machines are situated in dispensaries, and surrounded by armed guards. We suspect the latter is to stop the machines getting ripped off, not to harass the legitimate users.
So how do you get your fix? You need to be preapproved by your doctor and then give a fingerprint. After that you get a card detailing your prescription. Head to the machine, 24-7, and pick up your baggie. Neat, and surprisingly civilized. We hear that the sales in nearby candy machines have almost quadrupled since these were installed.
Convenience rating: If you can remember where it is, 10/10
World’s First Weed ATM [Thrillist]
This is one of the more sensible machines. Put these at the exits of every Tube station in London and you’d make a killing. This one, from Tokyo, sells two sizes of brolly, although only the small folding one seems to be suited to automatic vending. Even with the long, opening doors on the front, moving umbrellas around the internals of the machine without jamming can’t be easy.
Convenience rating: If it’s raining, and you can find a working machine, then 9/10
Vending Machines of Japan [Photomann]
Used Panties
You knew this one was coming. The possibly apocryphal machines which dispense sealed tubes of pre-worn schoolgirls’ underwear are the most famous kind of automat in the world. According to Snopes, they were real, but only existed for a few short months back in 1993.
The operation was shut down by invoking a law concerning antiques dealers: It said that anybody selling second-hand items needed permission from local authorities. Apparently worn panties can still be had in porn shops, but if you’re looking for a more anonymous solution, you’re out of luck.
Convenience rating: As finding one will be impossible 0/10
The Love Machine [Snopes]
Photo [Inventorspot]
Eggs
What? Why? Given our criteria for a vending machine to be either very handy or a way to avoid looking a shopkeeper in the eye, the egg vending machine (from Japan, of course) at first looks rather pointless. After all, who needs to make an emergency omelet at 2 a.m.? A closer look shows us that this is simply a high-tech version of the farmer’s roadside stall. The farmer fills the refrigerated machine with fresh eggs every morning and passersby can buy them, certain that they are still safe to eat.
Japanese farmers should stop showing off with fancy gadgets though, and take care of the packaging first. These eggs are in bags. C’mon, guys, what about egg boxes? You do have egg boxes, don’t you?
Convenience rating: For city dwellers, there’s a corner store. For country folk, don’t you all keep chickens anyway? 0/10
Egg Vending Machine [Flickr/Josh Berglund]
Books
On the face of it, a book vending machine seems smart. You’re stuck in an airport or railway station, your plane/train/automobile is delayed and you have nothing to read. I agree with the commenters on the Flickr page, though: RellyAB says that "you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover but you haven’t got much choice there!"
In an emergency, we suppose, anything might do, even without browsing first. But we’ll leave you with the words of another Flickrer, Chezza G:
no way, that’s the coolest vending machine ever. Or at least it would be if it had "literature" in it rather than the usual shit they sell at airports. Surprised there’s only 2 Dan Browns in there…
Convenience rating: Excellent, unless it dispenses The DaVinci Code instead of The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch. 7/10
Book vending machine [WordRidden/Flickr]
2 weeks ago I visited Belgium and at the eurostar terminal there was a full Vending machine store, and I’m assuming that there was no ID required for Beer…
http://www.poorlyoctopus.co.uk/images/BelgiumVending.jpg
Wired has done it again with a blockbuster article on vending machines. After reading this, I am finding myself wanting to eat 3 eggs, over-medium, with crispy hash browns, 3 strips of bacon and coffee. All from seeing the shrunken photo of the egg vending machine. As for Dan Brown, Digital Fortress is a good book, but the fundamentalist geek will want to throw it out the window because of the inaccuracies that the author-idiot probably calls literary license. Dan Brown makes people thing, sure, but it never accomplishes anything except enriching him personally. So having two of his books in that machine is good for him, but does nothing for us. Unless all we want out of life is simply to let time pass, let ourselves age, and give our money to an idiot-author.
FUCK YOU!
So here I am, writing in to Wired and wondering if it will spark a debate, then comes this message above. This guy probably thinks he is a wit. He isnt even half right. Kudos to Wired for allowing a forum like this.
Dan Brown is the climax of the human race. He shows connections between the origin of our species, with the smartest of people, with the historic artifacts, and with his spirit guides. If he wasn’t such a jerk we would worship him.
jim’s comment actually made me laugh.
I am sure that it is Dan Brown’s personality and not his writing which is why we don’t worship him.
what about the iPod vending machines. Those are ridiculous. Buy and iPod in an airport, then have to wait until you get home to put tunes on it.
At a resort in Korea I had a great time with a balloon vending machine. You put in your 1000 won (about $1 USD) bill and pick a color and the machine fills the balloon with helium, closes the hole with a clamp and string and you get a nice helium balloon.
The marijuana vending machine was taken in a DEA raid of the dispensary. Its gone…gone forever. Unless of course yuo visit the DEA breakroom where assume it would be.
The marijuana vending machine was taken in a DEA raid of the dispensary. Its gone…gone forever. Unless of course yuo visit the DEA breakroom where assume it would be.
How about DVD vending machines? The one at the gas station around the corner has a transparent red band across the middle three rows. For those, you-know disks. But hey, it’s right there in plain sight, 24/7.
Turin, Italy
I’ve always been partial to art-o-mats… often found in museum gift shops:
http://www.artomat.org/locations.php
The Egg vending machine was easily 10/10 convenience! Stores close way too early in Japan and the machine was always a great way to grab eggs on the late night ride home from band practice.
What we really need is a vending machine where you could buy vending machines. I would buy a vending machine vending machine from that vending machine
Trek bikes has rolled out a test vending machine in Madison, WI that dispenses common bike accessories, tools, etc. It includes a canopy and a bike rack!
The weirdest ones I’ve come across are those sausage vending machines that you can find around Germany - insert a euro, and a sausage (hot or cold, your choice) comes out in a little plastic bag. I ate one once and didn’t die, although it was far from being delicious.
Photo from the Koblenz, Germany train station: http://tinyurl.com/5p8s7t
I wonder when vending machines will go large, large, large scale. Like, Wal Mart becoming no longer a supermarket, but instead a gigantic, self-serve vending facility. Input your shopping list, the warehouse robotically dispences all of your items, (this may take a few moments), then you pay, and a shopping cart is sent through a hatch filled with all of your items, bagged and ready to take home. Eliminate all employees, eliminate all theft, breakage, upkeep. The stocking would be done on grand scale, just fill the slot with box after box and can after can of each item. Eliminates the need to rotate stock, oldest would slide out first, so freshness would never be an issue…(unless someone hadn’t purchased a particular item for several months…)
When I lived in Japan in the early 1990’s, vending machines that sold beer would stop dispensing them after a certain time (I think it was 11 pm). There were also video vending machines (that rented videos, like the DVD machines you see today in the US). At my university there was a wall (probably some 10-15 m long) of vending machines, with all kinds of drinks, cup noodles, and conveniences. Some machine played silly songs and flashed lights when you pressed buttons, and some gave a free soda can if you could match the time of a blinking light. I am sure there were some weird vending machines that I don’t remember now. It seems that anything is possible in Japan.
Dude, how come you find strange vending machines, I haven’t noticed…ever…in Germany. And I’ve been here 20 years! Probably no sausage vending machines at autobahn rest stops xD
they have ipod vending machines in airports now:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sbisson/12619332/
http://www.photomann.com/japan/machines/
to the person tlking about a ‘whole store vendor’ isnt that just like a cros between argos and ebay? i mean no offence but theres a lots of things people wont normaly buy without lookin at them first… i dont buy clothes online unless i can help it etc. just because ud have to spend ages gettin something that actualy fits…. i think i made a point lol possibly XD xx
anti-dan is right. Digital Fortress was one of the worst books I’ve ever read. It’s not only full of technical inaccuracies but it seemed to drag on and on. I actually loved Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons. Deception Point was just so so.
While in Austria last month I saw a vending machine that spit out bike tires or different sizes and types. I had to take a picture because it is something that even here in Portland Oregon we do not yet have.
While in Austria last month I saw a vending machine that spit out bike tires or different sizes and types. I had to take a picture because it is something that even here in Portland Oregon we do not yet have.
A friend of mine was writing a book on living in Japan, and on one of my trips there asked if I could get a photo of the fabled girl’s used panty machine. I walked for 3 hours around Shinjuku in Tokyo asking locals in my very average japanese. I got a range of replies from “it’s down that alley” to “there’s a department store over there, and you can get clean ones!”.
I gave up, but managed to get a photo of one of those grapple machines usually full of stuffed toys. But this one was transformed and had a fish tank inside it with live crabs, and some plastic bags to take your catch home in.
I saw an article in an old LIFE magazine (early ’50’s ?) that featured a vending machine/ all night cafe/deli in New York. all stainless and tile. lousy acoustics but sanitary, maybe for people who like to eat from the refrigerator at 2AM. no waiters.
In Venice a few months back I saw a pharmacy that had basically replaced one of the front windows with a vending machine. Everything from aspirin to condoms in that bad boy.
While I lived in Japan I saw some pretty weird machines.
Some would change the casing of your phone for you, others would load your choice of songs onto an MD disc that you inserted.
I’ve also come across porn DVD vending machines, and some selling different volumes of rice.
Japan is an interesting place indeed!
F U C K T H E D E A, F U C K I N G R E D N E C K S L I C K I N G T H E A S S O F T H E S Y S T E M…T H E Y W I L L L O S E T H E I R S T U P I D J O B S O M E D A Y. A N D I M S M O K I N G G R E A T F U C K I N G P O T W I T H O R W I T H O U T T H E M.
What about the Elizabeth Arden vending machine?
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/img/12-07/0103LUXEArden.jpg
kudos for getting the used panties vending machine right. it’s been 15 years and it seems like this story will never go away.
I bought beer from a vending machine in a hotel in France once, think it was in Calais. Just needed a few coins, no age check, no time limit. Excellent! - http://tinyurl.com/atlanticwave
There’s a vending machine next to an underground (literally underground) Chinese restaurant that sells the following:
1. Breakfast cereal
2. Milk
3. Sandwiches
4. Cologne
5. Condoms
6. Lubricant
7. 3 kinds of vibrators
8. Pregnancy tests
You could live out of it.
I think wired is a bit behind on the possibilities of these machines…
It’s not that Belgium is a crazy about vending machines, it’s just that we like to invent:
A bread vending machine:
http://users.pandora.be/andre.dewulf/broodautomaten/broodautomaten_6.htm
A French fries vending machine:
http://tomnuttin.wordpress.com/2007/09/22/friet-automaat/
Fresh vegetables and fruit vending machine
http://www.agf.nl/nieuws/2008/0111/automaat.jpg
That’s all of them I could think off, off the top of my head…
greetz,
V.
There is a DVD Rental vending machine at my local grocery store.
Argos is a vending machine, you look in the catalogue, tye in the code, pay by credit card and the item comes down on the lift. It’s a vending machine just spread out over a shop floor.
Mmmmmm……… men.
Wow dude, the marijuana vending machine sounds good to me! I like it!
JT
http://www.FireMe.To/udi
You know what would be cool? If you could download a schematic from the web, take it to a vending machine via flash memory, plug it in and have it built there and then.
Pfff in Poland we have vending machines serving real Pope !!!
http://jamro.pl/pope/vending_pope.jpg
Real photo taken by me in Krakow, Poland.
In the Netherlands we have the “Febo” fastfood chain with many restaurants (22 in Amsterdam alone). This chain is famous for their fastfood vending machines, packing burgers and many different dutch snacks. A pic can be seen here:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/32/Distributeurs-febo.jpg
In Tokyo’s Narita Airport they have a vending machine to sell you travel insurance. Neat!
What about the vending machine they have in a bunch of walmarts now that let you rent movies. I think they’ll start appearing in other places soon as well.
I bet the ipod comes with 1 free Michael McDonald tune that you have to listen to for 8 hours on an airplane before you off yourself.
I came across a bread vending machine in Verbier, Switzerland.
Fresh, warm bread all day long. YUM!
http://picasaweb.google.com/elinenberg/16InVerbier/photo#5072653050711568658
I live in MN and we have a “Live Bait” vending maching!
I like the egg one the best.
In the collegetown area here, we have a mini-store, i guess you would call it, that’s just two change machines and about 20 vending machines. Nothing particularly interesting in them, sadly.
We’ve got the refrigerated food ones on campus proper- sandwiches in saran wrap, bottles of milk, things like that. Was hanging fliers in a building once and crossed by one that was out of order. Oh god, the smell. Who thought to put a sign on it and *not* call the company to come fix it/clean it out right away?
I have a friend who sells vending machines that dispense pizzas. in two minutes you can hace a fresh, hot pizza.