Now hear this, you blood-hungry sons of war!

As of oh-nine-hundred Eastern Standard time, we are at WAR with the DEMOMAN! That one-eyed bagpipe-playing sonofabitch has been a thorn in our collective sides for long enough! For THIS WEEK ONLY, each and every man brave enough to fight under the Soldier banner will be KILLING DEMOS!

Gentlemen, there comes a time in a man’s life when when HE MUST DRAW LINES! Friendship is FINE for tea parties and shopping trips to the dress store! But when the chips are down, a soldier puts ASIDE friendship for the good of WAR!

Every Demoman gutted, garroted, exploded or otherwise killed by a Soldier will mean a POINT for the Soldier Team! At the end of this week, when the points are tallied AND WE ARE FOUND TO HAVE MORE, we will be awarded an EXCLUSIVE ONE-OF-A-KIND WEAPON.

Gentlemen, I have NO IDEA what this weapon is. I don’t even know if I’ll WANT it. But BY GOD, I know what’s IMPORTANT, and it’s that WE get it and the DEMOMAN DOES NOT.

Am I understood? Then get out there and KILL!

Nobody can deny that, measured solely by their ability to blow people into chunky clouds of tomato soup, rockets are an incredible force for good in the world. But with their wide blast radius, they are not a particularly terrific weapon for showing off your sharpshooting skills.

Until now. A high precision version of the standard-issue rocket launcher, the Direct Hit has been engineered from the ground up for Soldiers who have mastered the art of shooting at their targets instead of vaguely near them. Those of you looking to deal splash damage, stop reading now: the Direct Hit has a 70% smaller blast radius than a traditional rocket launcher. But the rockets that come out of this thing move fast and hit hard: 80% faster and with 25% more destructive force. Best of all, for you real sharpshooters, the Direct Hit guarantees mini-crits on airborne targets.