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#1
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What's the dumbest thing you've done recently?
My friend who lives down the street had a party on Saturday, and myself and a couple other friends decided to check it out. It was pretty much a run-of-the-mill party, with about 10 people hanging out on the porch and some more inside. I was there for about an hour and intermingled around the house, and went to the bathroom a couple of times.
When I left, I realized I didn't have my cell phone. I knew that I had brought it with me because I had made a phone call while I was there. I didn't feel like looking for it so I told my friend to tell me if she found it, since we work together. Fast forward to yesterday. I ask her if she found my phone and she said that they looked everywhere and didn't find it, but their downstairs toilet was completely clogged. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. I dropped my own cell phone in the toilet and managed to flush it down. It's still in the tiolet, waiting to be liberated. My friend told me she was going to bring it to me at work in a plastic bag when they get it out. That's the second phone I've lost to the toilet. I have no idea how I not only failed to notice that it fell out of my back pocket and into the toilet, but actually FLUSHED IT DOWN. Please, make me feel batter and let me know of the stupidest thing you've done lately. |
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#2
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About a week ago I ordered a pizza. About an hour later, I'm beginning to wonder. I get a vague sense of impending doom... oh, no, I didn't... did I?
I hadn't ordered pizza for several weeks, but I always order it online. Last time I ordered, I was at my ex-husband's, and I must have not changed the destination back to home. Just after realizing what must be going on, good ol' ex calls- "Did you order a pizza?" Gah! Stupid internet. |
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#3
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raz, don't feel too bad. I have a girlfriend who has done the same thing (minus the flushing) three times in the same year. The first two times were into a pee-filled toilet and the third was into a freshly flushed toilet, but it was in the dorms so the cringe-factor was still there. At least it was her own urine, right?
Her phone was fine after it was dried out. She used something anti-bacterial on the outside for her ease of mind. After the third time, she just got a new phone--which stopped working after about two months. |
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#4
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I locked my purse, my cel phone, my wallet, my keys, and my dog in the car yesterday afternoon.
We're a cel-only family. I was a little nervous, as Clover was going in for her spay, and I was dropping her off at the vet hospital before work. My husband was not a happy man when he received my text-message to please call BCAA on my behalf. He came, instead. On my lunch hour, I finally got around to getting two spare sets of car keys to go with the single spare house key I'd hidden outside. At least I could go inside the house and use the web to text him. It wouldn't have been quite so aggravating, but it was the second time I'd done it this year. With the dog inside the car. I am a bad mother. |
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#6
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Here's one for you. Thank og there were no witnesses.
I was driving to work and had stopped at a stoplight. For a moment, I was afraid that the key to my workplace had been left at home, so I began searching through my purse to make sure I had it. And I searched...and began to panic! Where are my keys? Only a mild brainfart of course, because clearly my keys are in the friggin' ignition where they belong! This was so embarrassing even though I was alone. If anyone else had been in the car I would have blurted out my stupidity for all to hear. I hate Mondays. |
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#7
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not so recent, but mind numbingly dumb (literally);
I was late for work one day and was rushing around the house. Just before leaving, I opened the closet door, reached in and grabbed my coat. I then closed the closet door. On my head. I still have the scar to remind me anytime I get to thinkin' how smart I am. |
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#9
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I stumbled into the shower one bleary morning at 5:00 am. Big meeting that morning so needed to look my very freshest.
I commenced to wash hair, soap and rinse, grab the pink daisy razor, put the shaving gel on, shave legs, wash off, get out and dry off. Hurriedly I dried my hair, got dressed and as I was putting on my stockings realized... I didn't do a very good job of shaving, did I? It felt like I hadn't shaved at all. I don't have to shave the legs very often; my hair doesn't grow very much at all, so I only need to shave every couple of weeks or so. But the girls needed a good trimming by that point. Went back to the shower, peered at the razor and - well, I hadn't taken the plastic cap off the blade when I shaved. I wear contact lenses. Everything's a big giant blur without them. I showered without my lenses in. Does that get me excused? |
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#10
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My friend got a flat tire in our apartment complex a few days ago, and the lugnuts were stripped, making it nearly impossible for us to change the tire ourselves. So last night we decided that we would plug the hole, then have AAA come fill it (we didn't want them to change it because we assumed a tire from them would cost a fortune). So AAA told us it would take 90 minutes, so we hopped in my truck to run up to the auto parts store to get the plug kit. At the store I proceeded to hop out quickly, roll up my window, lock and close the door-- with the keys in it and the car running!
Luckily, a guy that worked in the store was able to take a slim jim and get the truck open. To top it off, a couple days ago I was just bragging about how long it had been since I had locked my keys in my car. |
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#11
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About a month ago, it was still just cool enough to have the heat on some evenings. When I have the heat on, I keep the door to my bedroom closed so I don't warm up space I'm not using.
Well, one night, I decided it was time to go to bed. My routine is that I turn off the heat and the lights in the living and dining rooms, then I toddle off down the hall to the bathroom by light of the front walkway filtering in through my bedroom and front door windows. So, this night I did the usual getting-ready-for-bed bathroom things and then I toddled back up hall to where my bedroom is. Just as I turned to go in, I noticed it was awful dark in there. Suddenly, my whole front side collided with something solid. THUMP! The door! Normally, I push it open on my way to the bathroom! Sometimes, it's good to live alone. There was no one to see my embarrassment or laugh at me. This is the second time I've done that. |
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#12
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Just last night. We decided that the CD player was too low in the entertainment center so I got all the components out and played musicial gear for a while, got them all wired back together. But the CD player wouldn't open. It's one of those old style carousel players that holds 5 CDs and there were 3 in there which I had failed to remove prior. Now they were stuck inside having gotten out of their little spaces and were rolling around inside the CD player. I broke the thing by turning it over and trying to shake them out. (actually got two of them out but the third was really stuck)
That CD player is in the trash now. This happened on the same day that I realized that the reason that one of my speaker wasn't working (for the past 6 months) was that I'd crossed the speaker wires. |
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#13
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Last night I had some cooking juices left over from broiling summer sausage, and I thought it would be a nice treat to pour over my dogs' food. I grabbed a coffee can of dog food in one arm, and the cast iron skillet of juices in the other. I'm steadily thinking: dontdropit dontdropit dontdropit. I'm concentrating so hard on keeping my grip on the skillet that I whack my elbow on the door jamb.
Yep. I suddenly had a very juicy and slick laundry room. Yeesh.
__________________
This message brought to you by NinetyWt, the Queen of Lubricants™. Be Flood Alert. |
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#14
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Very minor but still one of those whack-yerself-in-the-coconut moments . . .
I have C-thru ruler like this for measuring things on graphs. I needed to measure something from a graph. So I flopped down the ruler on said graph. But the numbers were kinda hard to read. So I rotated it 180 degrees clockwise. Huh. Numbers still hard to read. I rotated it clockwise again. Still couldn't read the numbers. Then I rotated it clockwise again. Somewhere in the dim recesses of my overtaxed brain, a lone synapse bravely sparked. And I flipped the ruler over. Aaaaaaaallll better. |
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#15
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Along similar lines to the OP, I was finishing up at a urinal in a public restroom when I turned to go and my keys flew out of my hoodie pocket and plunked right into the pee-filled urinal. At that very moment, a friend of mine happened to enter the restroom and saw what happened, and we just stared at each other increduously. Then the moton-sensor, automatic flusher went off, and my keys began being pulled into the urinal drain, so I quickly shoved my hand in and barely snagged the keychain with 2 fingers. At that point, another friend of ours entered to see me with my hand in the flushing urinal and me and the first friend laughing hysterically. I got the keys out and washed them thoroughly, but I don't think my mini-hackey sack keychain will ever be the same.
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#18
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I'm currently working in a warehouse for a lip balm company. My job is to inventory all the bins in the warehouse, and since lots of them are high up, I have to climb up these moveable stairs. So the other day, as I was rolling the stairs to a new location, I decided to ride them. I built up some speed and hopped on.
Here's the thing, though. The locking mechanism for the wheels is activated by the bottom step of the stairs...the step I was on. The stairs stopped moving, yet I did not...at least not for a couple seconds until my face smacked into the stairs. |
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#19
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Not me, my dad.
We were eating corn on the cob, cooked by wrapping an ear of corn in Saran Wrap and placing it in the microwave. I put it in for 90 or 95 seconds, then remove it. Well, my dad put the last ear in, and pushe 100 seconds. There's just one minor problem, the microwave interprets 1:00 as 1 minute, 0 seconds, not as in 1 second more than 99 seconds. Dad wanted to know why I didn't say I put it in for a minute and a half, well, cause the microwave understands 90 seconds as the same as 1:30. Mom shakes her head and says "we've had this discussion before". |
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#21
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#22
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In my shop two nights ago, trying to drill holes in a slab of oak for some shelving. Applied the drill bit to the oak, hit the switch, drill whirred to life -- nothing. A bit of a dent in the wood, that's all. Examined the tip of the bit -- yeah, it could use sharpening, so I unchucked it, dropped it in the drill bit sharpener -- nice and sharp now! Chucked the bit, hit the switch -- nothing. WTF, over!? Examined the bit again, examined the oak, applied the bit, hit the switch ... ah, but you can see where this is going, can't you?
The previous day, I'd used the drill with a driver bit to remove a dozen woodscrews from another project. It was still in reverse. |
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#23
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Mentioned in another thread recently (link to follow) - A couple of weeks ago I was cooking some steaks on a metal firepit in the backyard (like this - note the little handle on top). Kept the screen lid on as the wood was slowly becoming a bed of glowing coals. Finally everything was ready - carefully I used the long metal hook thingy to remove the hot lid and set it aside, with mouth watering I tossed some more wood on (for smoke) and placed the steaks on the grill. Yum, this was going to be good! Then I reached over and grabbed the metal screen lid by the handle (mentioned earlier).
Ever been hurt where you can't even cuss coherently? "JEEMFUMBRGLZ!" was, I believe, what I finally managed to get out through clenched teeth. Baffle in this thread was kind enough to comment Quote:
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#24
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A couple of days ago I tried to open my front door using my car remote. I pressed unlock, tried to turn the knob, and even bonked my shoulder when it wouldn't open.
The sad thing is I stood back and pressed a second time before I realized what I was doing. |
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#25
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Glad to be of service!
Earlier today I was riding my bike through the forest across the street from my house, to go visit a friend. I decided that the tangle of roots in my path didn't require a reduction in speed. I think my face print will be in that tree for quite some time. |
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#26
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I got on the elevator today to ride to the ground floor. I was the only one on the th elevator. I got in and waited and waited and waited and waited. I only had to ride one floor down and could not figure out what was going on. I was worried the elevator had gotten stuck..again.
Then |
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#27
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A couple of months ago I walked across my girlfriend's bed, which is right under a Dormer window, to grab something off the bedside table on her side. So I bend down to pick it up, then stand, turn and start walking back in one movement that was both swift and fluid right up to the point where my head smacked hard into the wall of the Dormer and I fell down groaning. The lump on my skull didn't go away for nearly two weeks.
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#28
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No one moment of stunning stupidity recently, but a number of minor-league things that I do fairly regularly.
- Taking my wallet out of my pocket instead of my keys as I approach the door to my building. - Conversely, taking my keys out of my pocket instead of my wallet as I approach the subway turnstiles. - Leaving the house fully dressed and ready for work, running my fingers through my hair as I'm waiting for the elevator, and realizing that I haven't rinsed the conditioner out of my hair. |
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#29
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I thought I was e-paying the Sacramento Bee $29.47 for three months of three-days-per-week newspaper delivery. I typed 2947 without the decimal. I mindlessly OKd the transaction.
A few days later I checked my balance online and discovered that both my checking and savings accounts had zero balances. I discovered the error and phoned Bank of America. Surprisingly, the rep said that he could correct the error but that it would take three days before it could be cleared. I phoned the Bee and the rep said that he would watch for the transaction and would reverse it as soon as it came in. Yeah, right. In the meantime, every other e-payment I made bounced. I had a rent check made out to me for $500 but couldn't deposit it because it would be used toward my deficient balance. I had to borrow money from my daughter who was more than happy to prove that Mom didn't always have it together. Three days later the Bee guy phoned to say he'd been monitoring my account and that the payment had been received and that I could extend my service until May, 2034, or that he could cancel the transaction. Later that day the BofA guy called to say that the Bee reversal had cleared. He also canceled all the bad check charges. I am more amazed by the actions of the Bee and BofA than by my own stupidity. Despite all my whining about the lack of good customer service, these guys came through. |
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#30
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#33
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Today a co-worker asked me to burn a CD for him, sonce his machine did not have that capability.
He handed me a blank CD, I put it in, I brought up the program, and it said put in a CD. "Hmm," I thought. Ejected it and tried again. No dice. Told my co-worker that it wouldn't read the disk. He said no prob, he'd get someone else to do it. I gave him back the CD, and he flipped it over and put it in his drive to check that it was blank. I had it upside down in my drive. |
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#34
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I've spent the past week cleaning my house for a party on Saturday. Dusting, scrubbing floors, polishing furniture, etc. Today I decided to dust the ceiling fans.
So repeat all the dusting, floor-scrubbing, and polishing after 4 pounds of dust descended from said fans. |
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#35
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Quote:
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#37
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#38
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I patched my corporate DHCP server at 7:45 am today. It was an idiotic thing to do, and I know better. I didn't want to have to do it this weekend, though.
I can't believe I did that. |
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#39
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I made gumbo last weekend. I made a delicious stock out of leftover frozen shrimp shells, then made a roux as the first step toward the gumbo base. This time, I vowed, I was going to make a dark roux like nature and Emeril Lagasse intended. No more of this peanut butter-colored stuff like I had timidly made before. I slowly let it "da culllah of cawfee" as Emeril says. It smelled burnt. It looked burnt. I ignored my instincts (because Emeril must know more than me about Cajun cooking) and slowly stirred in my homemade shrimp stock, let it all come to a boil and tasted it. Yuck! It tasted like nasty burnt toast! I tossed the bad batch out and had to remake the whole shebang from scratch and a couple of seafood bouillon cubes. Next time I trust my nose and instinct and not that "gibbering baboon" Emeril.
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#40
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I love my fingernails. It's rather vain and shallow of me, but I like to grow them long and spend an hour every couple of days manicuring them. It's like a little ritual all for me and my vanity.
So you can imagine how wonderful they look now I sliced one of them off while chopping a bell pepper the other day on turning and chatting to hubby. Left index finger, and I managed to slice half the nail off vertically without actually cutting my finger. No blood, just a very owie finger whenever the remainder of the nail presses into the quick below. That is such an ookie feeling, too. Bleh. |
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#41
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#42
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The other day, I decided to walk to my nearest light rail section, noting that it takes only ten minutes to get to near my house from there by bus.
75 minutes of walking along heavily congested road later, I realized that the bus can go that stretch at about thirty miles an hour, while I go much, much slower. |
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#43
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A couple weeks ago, I was on laundry duty. My husband was at school, working on his thesis, so it was all up to me! I've done this before, many times, and I know that I need the building key to get into the laundry room, and I know that I need my apartment key to get back into said apartment, but what do I do?
Basket, check. Detergent, check. Coins, check. Out the door I go. Door closes. Keys?...... chec...fuck! No keys, no cell phone, nothing to do but go the the super (during his dinner do-not-disturb hour) to sheepishly ask if he can let me back into my apartment. He doesn't know me too well, so checks the lease for my name, then gives me the set of spare keys. Of course, for some reason, the keys don't work. They fit the lock, but won't turn. Back to the lobby I go, but this time I just left the basket on the hallway floor, but the super is back in his apartment. I hang around for 10 minutes, wondering if I should go make a phone call to my husband at the convenience store (but I won't be able to get back into the building if I do), but it's just about the right time for him to likely be taking the bus back, so I won't be able to reach him, and....well, just then the other superintendent shows up, and I explain what happens, give back the spare keys and she lets me into the unit using the master. *sigh* Of course, I also forget, after 4 years, which cupboard has our plates and which has our glasses. mnemosyne I may be, but forgetful I am! |
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#45
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For some reason known only to the gods, I decided to bake cookies. Usually my kitchen expertise ends at the microwave, but I had a cookie craving that wouldn't quit. Armed with freshly printed internet instructions and a big wooden spoon, I get to work measuring and mixing (in the right order, no less) all the necessary ingredients. In to the oven they go and, feeling quite proud of myself, I head over to the couch to watch The Sopranos.
Not their best season, I'll admit, but I love that show more than my own children (I'm sure there's got to be one out there somewhere...heh). It's probably relevant to mention here that the last time I tried to make cookies (about a year and a half ago), I forgot about them entirely and fell asleep. Being violently shoved from a cloud filled with Swedish nymphomaniac supermodels breast feeding me microbrews into a harsh smoke-filled reality of fire alarms and burning ovens is not an experience I'd ever care to repeat. I still have the scar on my hand from my valiant attempt to rescue my chocolate chip chums from certain fiery death. I did have the presence of mind to wear an oven mitt, but when the tray started to tip I instinctively grabbed it with my other, very naked hand. Scorched or not, those were the best cookies I'd ever tasted. Flash forward to present... With my scar serving as a painful reminder, I made very sure this time to set the timer on the oven and didn't even consider lying down on the couch. True to form, I again forgot about my kitchen escapades as I became completely engrossed in my world of Italian accents and overweight hit men. At the conclusion of said event, as my brain grudgingly trudged back to reality, an internal alarm sent a shock through my body and the scar on my hand began to glow with the searing heat of a thousand Harry Potters. A quick assessment revealed, to my great relief, an absence of torched cookie odor and a very silent fire alarm. The feeling was only temporary. My culinary career has since been placed on injured reserve until Satan himself smacks me upside the head with a snowball. As I scampered back to the kitchen with the giddy excitement of a pubescent dog in a leg store I found, in heart crushing disappointment, that I'd forgotten to turn the oven on.... |
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#46
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I hopped in my car and drove out of work the other day to grab a quick drive-thru lunch, since I had a lot to do at the office I told everyone I'd be back in a half-hour and had tons of work to do.
Driving back after wolfing down a hamburger, I got to daydreaming and spacing out. Somehow, the primative lizard recess of my brain decided to take over and handle the driving, instead of thinking about sex every thirty seconds like it's supposed to do. Somehow, I pulled onto the freeway, and drove. And drove. And drove. 40 miles later, my hypothalamus smugly passed the driving duties back to my frontal lobe. I wildly looked around, wondering where the hell I was. I have no clock in my car, and I'd left my cel behind, so I had no freaking idea where or how long I'd been driving! I finally passed an exit, flipped around on the freeway, and drove back to work. I couldn't really have driven this far, could I? I slipped in to the office quietly and looked at the clock. My half-four lunch had turned into a 2 hour road trip! |
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#47
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I started residency 3 weeks ago. Lots of events to feel stupid:
-Missed a STEMI -Missed a diabetic foot -Thought that the paraplegic guy was a quadraplegic because he was an asshole who wouldn't move on my exam -Forgot to discharge a dude -Ordered standing dilaudid instead of PRN dilaudid -ordered 2 gallbladder ultrasounds (well one was ordered by the ER but wasn't in the system when I ordered mine and then I thought the results were from mine and 2 got done) -Broke a hypertensive urgency with (lots of) negative inotropes in a person with a history of CHF Luckily nobody got hurt. Yet. All the serious ones were picked up by the people overseeing me. But still -- folks, don't get sick in July! |
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#48
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I made a fabulous, homemade from scratch, labour of love lasagne once. Damn, it was smelling good. Tastes tests proved it was going to be the lasagne my family would talk about for years. Ah, done. Perfect. Cheese just browning and bubbling at the edges. Rich, savoury scent permeating the house, driving everyone mad with hunger. But my folks weren't back yet, so I turned the oven off, thinking I'd leave the lasagne in there to stay warm, instead of taking it out. Thought I'd turned the oven off, that is. Damn. It was going to be a really good lasagne too. |
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#49
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#50
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Except maybe the 60 seconds I spent watching the pregnancy test for that all-damning second blue line... |
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