BREAKING NEWS: India's mourning its Cyber Crime Squad members

06/11/2009 Written by Roberto Preatoni

BREAKING NEWS

SEVERAL E2-LABS CYBERCRIME SQUAD MEMBERS REPORTED MISSING IN ACTIONS, SEVERAL OTHERS CRITICALLY INJURED - NATIONAL CALL FOR BLOOD DONORS

 

Several of the brave E2-labs' Cyber Crime Squad members are reported missing in action. The accident happened today at road n.2 of Banjara Hills, Hyderabad. News reports are still unprecise but it seems that several members of the famous team of national heroes whose scope is to protect India's digital boundaries from bad-ass cyberterror attacks have been killed while attempting to defuse a logic bomb placed by a group of separatists. In the blast, some other Cyber Crime Squad members are reported in critical condition. The Indian Minister of the Health has issued a call for blood donors.

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The E2-labs Cyber Crime Squad is the last frontiere for the defense of India's digital borders. They are students forged into warriors thanks to an extremely intensive 6 month long training, carefully studied to give to India's cyber-heroes "comprehensive coverage of the technology to establish, to work with and to protect the valuable Information assets of the Industry there by serving nation from unwanted infiltration of intruders through Internet"

 

Those brave men know the drill, word up! They are ready to face all the difficulties and that's made very clear since the first day of their enrollment, when they are presented a Cyber Crime Squad badge, even reporting their blood type. Because this is a job for real men, the stakes are high as high is the risk. Their job is dangerous, they know they are every day onto some criminal's hit-list. In fact Cyber Crime Squad members' destiny is cruel, even if they are just freshly enrolled, they often disappear from E2-labs laboratories. No traces behind. 

For those E2-labs Cyber Crime Squad members who are reported missing in action, we have a good news. Due to the fact that this is the cyber-world and not the real world, you still have on chance to get back your life. But warning, it's not for pussies. if you are a real man then click here.

Now, after the tragic news, a bit of gossip. Did you know that the red Power Ranger is now in jail and attempted to cut off his penis? No, seriously!

One last advice for those legitimatly National Cyber Defendant wannabees. If anybody is offering you a job to "serve nation from unwanted infiltration of intruders through Internet" make sure that in his office premises you can find a N.O.C. / S.O.C. which more or less should look something like this:

but you want also to make sure that on the desk of the manager of such company there must be a telephone apparatus looking like this:

connecting the manager of the N.O.C./S.O.C. directly with the Minister of the Telecommunication and the Minister of the Internal affairs.

If there would be a company offering you a job as Cyber Crime Squad member to "serve nation from unwanted infiltration of intruders through Internet" missing any of the two abovementioned things, run away, it's plain scam.