wishlist
more vidoll stuff,
indie japanese rock
collection . electric
guitar, learn to play guitar
. meiji coffee milk . driver's
license .
& Jui/樹威 ♥ .
yujun
is a whimsical girl who
first saw the world on 6th
february 1988 and has been
searching for her own identity
since.
This layout features
ryuutarou, and is scanned by
myself from Neo vol 5. isn't
it pretty? brushes are
from juuichi.
loves
japanese indie music,
asian movies, daydreaming,
meiji coffee milk, pretty and
cute things and jui :)
listens to
vidoll, lolita23ku, KISAKI Project,
phylia, GLAY, KuRt, AN CAFE, HenzeL, ayabie, duraluMin,
indie gazette and sid.
hamasaki ayumi too ;)
i don't know why, but blogger seems to be both messed up in firefox and IE. has been for quite some time.
anyway i dyed my hair pink on thursday.
ok i don't look absolutely ugly in it or anything, but i look like a retarded cosplayer now. and as you can see, part of my face, my neck and my shirt were dyed pink in the process. anyway underneath all the pink there's a lot of black roots haha.
but since then ive been trying to fade the pink into a light pink. ive been washing my hair with my soap that strips color like crazy, the bubbles turn pink, the water turns pink, but my hair is still pretty bright after i wash it. in fact i wash it twice with soap each time i shower, and today it's become a rosy pink, it's no longer that crazy hot pink.
i miss gold hair. i'll stick to light blond~light brown in future. pink is too much.
watched management last friday. it's not bad.
watched bruno today! :D vassup! (btw i like the sound of german. i don't like the sound of french. i wish i could speak german! ich spreche ein bisshen deutsch. vassever, i think that's so wrong haha. i can't remember basic german i learnt two years ago.)
anyway i think kichise michiko is so so so so so so gorgeous x 100000000000!
i first saw her in liar game, and now she's in bloody monday.
i think she's so pretty!! and i think she looks unconventional. and she has a lot a lot a lot of charisma!
i also like sasaki nozomi
she's second from left here
i think she's the prettiest japanese ive seen! (on the other hand, kichise michiko is beautiful rather than pretty although she's still very pretty)
more of my pink hair. as you can see it's not as bright anymore. but still too pink for my liking.
with flash
and in the sunlight yeah i suck at dyeing and so you still can see some brown spots haha.
and my pink hair video!
im speaking really softly cuz my family is at home and i don't want them to think im crazy talking to myself. turn the speakers louder. im soft but my words are clear!
i painted my nails peachy pink yesterday. removed it today.
i suddenly cannot stand the sight of pastel colours on my nail. the colour is pretty, but somehow i just can't take it when it's on my fingers. it makes me go crazy!
so i painted my nails the vampiric deep black red again. seeing my nails make me happy! they look like i dipped them in some deep bloody liquid haha.
right now im listening to songs from vidoll's esoteric romance released in march, there are some pretty good songs in it actually. i wonder why their good songs are hidden in albums while their ridiculous songs are released as singles.
maybe ive got different taste. but i don't think my taste is that bad.
anyway now the song Dreamboat is on the playlist, go listen to it. i am completely addicted to this song now. ive romanised its lyrics too! except for two words. cuz the words are white and the background at that part was white and so i cannot see the words and i don't wanna guess, anyone wanna help?
it's been two years since i last romanised lyrics. but lyrics are the way i learn japanese best, not through dramas or animes, so i think i better start romanising some more lyrics. which is not really useful cuz words i learn from lyrics aren't those which would come in handy should you visit japan and try to get your way around.
Hoshii mama katachi kaenu mirai dakara dare mo ga yume o miru Toomawari o shite tadori tsuita ima ai ni kizuita
Kokoro no meido ga naki jidai shinjiru koto sae togamete iku Iro no okiwasureta metoro no mado ni Ashi o tomete mitemo iidarou
Iki o suru koto ni hisshi de miushinatte dare mo inakunatte Demo taisetsu na hito dake wa itsumo tonari ni itekureta
Arasoi wa kienai Honno sukoshi issho ni me o tojite goran yo Bokura hitotsu ni naru ushinai kaketa ai no imi ari ko o omoidasu (darou?)
Hoshii mama katachi kaenu mirai dakara dare mo ga yume o miru Toomawari o shite yatto kimi no ima ai ni kizuita Ah~
Kimi ga boku o aisenakutte boku mo kimi o aisenakutte Sonna toki ga otozuretatte zutto zutto soba ni itainda kokoro kara
Hoshii mama katachi kaenu mirai dakara dare mo ga yume o mita Toomawari o shite tadori tsuita ima ai ni kizuita
Iki o suru koto ni hisshi de miushinatte mada yume tochuu sa Toomawari o shite yatto kimi no ookina ai ni ima kizuita
credits to pou of this forum for the booklet scan
use the romaji all you want, but please credit me (yujun) thank you!! a link back is unnecessary though. i typed the whole japanese lyrics, took some time to romanise it, don't steal it thanks!
ok, the two words that im not too sure of, i think its darou. the part where i wrote (darou?) im 90% sure it's darou.
anyway isn't this song so addicting??? it sounds so dreamy!
i realised the songs i like from esoteric romance are those composed by rame. this is good, rame has not come up with good stuff for quite some time, this is way overdue!
gonna get a tint brush and mixing bowl soon to touch up my roots. i sort of have an idea on how to go round doing it, but i need to find a mirror so that i can do the back of my head myself. i intend to achieve perfect hair dyeing skills ^^ right now i don't think many people can tell that i did my hair myself ^^
does anyone know what dye can give me this hair colour?? i want this colour so badlyyyyyy!! (picture is junal, a uljjang)
i wanna mix gatsby solid ash and cool rose, but since they're oxide dyes i think the colour that comes out won't be a cross between these two but a entirely new colour. should i try?? i think i will try on a small bunch of hair first.
i love ding ding, she's one of the best people ive met in my life!
anyway, i love flumpool.
flumpool has some pretty good songs, and i love their song arrangement!
and it helps that the vocalist is extremely cute, except he has a really big mouth and tends to have this expression when he sings. but he's still cute!
try hana ni nare (i know it's released some time ago..... im an archeologist.. stuff i discover tend to be a little ancient)
i love my hair right now, it's a cross between golden blond and light brown now, i wish i can have this hair colour forever, but it doesn't seem very possible.
i want to write about japan, but im getting a little lazy.
anyway ive been doing a lot of thinking lately again.
thinking isn't very good for me.
my mind doesn't think right most of the time. certain things in life affect me, although i don't bother about most stuff but there are things that my mind just can't seem to ignore and sometimes your thoughts can eat you from inside out.
i wish i can be a better person. im far from the ideal person i wanna be and i guess there's no such thing as ideal but getting anywhere close is already very difficult.
being positive is a hard thing for me to do.
but i believe i have matured as a person all this while and it keeps me going.
but i still have a pretty bad temper aha. keeping my mouth shut at times can also be difficult!
this doesn't seem like a post.
truth is, i don't think there's much for me to write nowadays. it doesn't matter to me anymore.
20th july edit: just took this picture. bad lighting/camera white balance. and my hair doesn't have the pink tone in white light. but this is how i look like now roughly.
haha, i like it!
edit of edit.
what can i say?? jang nara's just so so so so so pretty!! she's so pretty, she does a lot of charity work, she has a career! and i don't know but she looks even better as time passes! she looks so absolutely gorgeous here! i love love love her!
:(
i need to buck up. im living off my parents. im rude and unreasonable at home. i give nothing but headaches to my family. im wasting my time. im ugly inside and outside.
rrrrrr!!!!!!!!
i like this picture! :)
but my real irises are so small, you can see here >(
but anyway i don't look like that now.
before i go on, be mentally prepared. haha!
i self bleached my hair on friday!!!
used 2 bottles of gatsby ex hi-bleach
i like the colour actually. and you cannot deny i did a good job at bleaching ahaha! it is even and bright! i did it all myself with no help :( cuz no one was at home (ok my brother was but he was sleeping) and i just dumped everything onto my hair and was praying it'll turn out even.
ok i said i like the colour.
but before you start thinking im blind and crazy, yes! i do know it doesn't suit my face at all!! and my mom says i look like a drug addict with this hair.
but i bleached it not to get orange hair. neither did i want blond. it's cuz i bought freshlight egoist pink hair dye from japan, and i wanted the colour to show up well and not waste the dye cuz i cannot get it locally :(
so last night i got my mom to help me dye my hair with egoist pink. i only had one bottle and was afraid it might not be enough and needed my mom to help me spread it evenly.
anyway i love how my hair turned out!
i just woke up when i took the first picture, my bed head is very messy i know. normally it's worse haha. i need to put water to tame my hair every morning before i leave for school! x.x
I LOVE MY HAIR! i want ashy-pink-brown hair forever!
shirakawa go another day.
i love la'cryma christi! (sorry i just discovered how talented they are although they've been in my playlist for years! my playlist is a treasure box, there's so much stuff ive not discovered!)
"totally agree with you O_O jui's a sexy fucking bitch? in the PV!!!!"
i don't like people who say such stuff. don't you realise it sounds very disrespectful? ok i am prim and proper, but i think using such words is really not the way to describe someone like jui. if you wanna describe someone like this, please go to a club and find some loose girl in there. i don't like people who use such language.
anyway. i see takuya kimura everywhere now! :D
he's so goodlooking alright!
gosh! i wanna pluck him right off the billboard!
end of edit.
hello!
i did another video. this time round im showing the shoes i bought from japan. do watch! i love the shoes! im still finding opportunities to wear them!
this is the second video i recorded, the 'successful' version
and this is the first time i was trying to record, and i was pretty much talking rubbish. haha. i need practise. i often have nothing to say.
ok i asked if you all could see if the shoe was reddish black in the failed video, cuz i don't know how well the colour would show up on the camera, but the red seems to be captured, so in the successful video i didn't say such rubbish anymore haha.
anyway on with gifu part 2!
ok so in the evening we headed to the river which is very near to mount kinka.
actually you could see the river in my previous pictures right! that's the river!! which part of it though i dunno! haha
ok if you're going to gifu and you wanna watch comorant fishing and you're on your own, head to the information centre at the gifu train station (do that right away once you reach gifu), ask the lady there to call up the comorant fishing office and she'll help you make a reservation. you only pay when you reach the office though! make sure you turn up! don't be irresponsible and make a reservation and don't turn up! x.x
ok back to where i was. we went to this waiting area at first cuz we were there a little early. you can watch a video of the fishermen. they wear these hawaiian looking hay skirts.
finally, it was boarding time!
and you'll cruise along the river
the two old men who were in charge of the boat we were in.
after a while, quite a distance away, the boat was parked at the river bank, cuz we had to wait for nightfall before the fishing commenced. i think we waited for an hour or so!! zzzzzzzz but you could eat your dinner then. you need to bring your own dinner along. i was very bored then. took pictures of other people.
you can see the white rocky bank in the second picture, some kids on some other boat went out of their boats to play there, i think they had nothing to do. did i mention there were a lot of schoolkids???? i think they had a school excursion, so good! the school excursions i have in the past were boring and few and far in between. urgh.
and finally the sun set and the fishing began. each fishing boat would have a bright fire lit up. you can see the fisherman uncle in his hay hawaiian skirt.
anyway it is very hard to capture the action! firstly, it's very dark, secondly, the birds kept on diving into the water so fast, you see the bird and you press the shutter and the bird suddenly dives in and the the photo gets taken and you just missed!! it's best you just go there to watch and not take pictures. but of cuz i had to take pictures! so out of twenty plus pictures i took i could only capture the comorants twice successfully. there are about 7 to 10 comorants controlled by each fisherman i think, i dunno, but as you can see, there is only one in sight! i told you they are elusive and difficult to capture! the rest are probably in the water.
the picture cropped and close up
another successful shot and it's close up
anyway you're usually not so near to the fishermen boats/the comorants, i used maximum optical zoom (5x) to get such pictures x.x once in a while the fishermen would pull their boats very close to yours (our boat was quite lucky in that sense, there was one fisherman boat which stayed pretty close to ours for some time, some other passenger boats didn't get such attention! haha)
you can see the comorants here (their heads are those little white dots on the water)
one of the many failed shots.
oh and at night from the boat you can see gifu castle lit up. anyway it is really small when you look at it from the river, i can't take a better picture, i already use max zoom.
the morning of june 13th we were ready to leave gifu.
the next destination was shirakawa go! i'll continue the post another day ^^
// 7th July 2009 8:11PM //
these are two videos of me! do watch!
here im just talking some nonsense. oily face x.x
here im showing the handphone charms i bought from japan. they're mostly from the tateyama mountain range.
i don't know why my voice is so low. i thought my voice was middle pitch. but i really don't know since all of us do not know how our real voices sound like. anyway i hate my accent but i cannot fake a accent so there. (people who fake accents sound gross alright x.x)
anyway today i will talk about gifu, our first destination!
here are the streets of gifu when i first arrived.
then we headed to Mount Kinka, where the gifu castle is.
the garden at the foot of the mountain is so beautiful. basically this is a picture spam haha.
you can see me here ^^
and we went to the top of the mountain through the ropeway.
there was a restaurant at the top of the mountain. this was what i ate.
and i love this drink! it's actually green tea ice, and they poured milk over it.
this is gifu castle
at the highest floor of the castle (it a very very tiny castle) you can look down.
we descended the mountain on foot. it was more difficult and scarier than it looks in my pictures cuz there is no proper path and some parts were extremely steep and rocky.
doesn't look so, but this is more than a storey high it's all rocks, i had a hard time finding where to step and how to come down. i was pretty frightened throughout the entire time.
ok i will end here for the day. i took like one and a half hours to write this entry, i had so much resizing to do! the next part will be added on to the this entry another day. the next part will be the comorant fishing in gifu at night. the fishermen use comorants (a type of bird) to help them fish!
i touched down yesterday morning at about 1am, finished doing everything and slept only at 4am.
im so tired now. i had like only 3 hours of sleep during the last two nights in japan cuz we had to wake up early for the tsukiji fish market.
anyway this is in the very early morning on the 12th of june. flight was around 1am. reached japan at 8.30am japan time i think.
took this picture on the plane. i think we were already flying above japan at that time. it looked so mountainous and there were clouds and so it looks like a picture!
the horizon was so beautiful!
then we touched down on nagoya airport. there was this mini quarantine area.
then we headed for the train station. this train line isn't run by JR. i dunno which rail company ran the line from nagoya airport to nagoya station.
vending machines at the waiting area
you know i saw one train captain shaving his chin away at the waiting area ~.~ i thought japanese had more manners than that haha.
looking back at the gates from the waiting area.
the trains at the station
inside the train to nagoya
a cute sign on the train door
seriously japan has cute pictures and signs all over everything, everywhere!
from nagoya station we changed to a JR Ltd express train headed for gifu.
ok i guess i'll end here. will write more about japan another day.
this is our rough itinery (where we stayed for for the night, doesn't really give any indication of how long we've been at that place during the day, so it doesn't really tell where we went what we did for the day)
12th june friday: gifu 13th june saturday: shirakawa go 14th june sunday: hirayu <3333 15th june monday: takayama <3333 16th june tuesday: toyama 17, 18th june wednesday, thursday: (tateyama) murodou <3333 19th june friday: matsumoto 20th, 21st, 22th june: tokyo
as you can tell, i really liked hirayu, takayama and the tateyama alpine route. toyama and matsumoto were more like a stopover in between destinations (cuz of time constraints and the large distance between the different places) so we only stayed there for the night, didn't really do anything much there.
japanese girls in the less urban areas of japan (like those in takayama, countryside towns and not cities) had very rosy cheeks and light brown eyes, really different from those you see in tokyo, i think they're very pretty!
my exams ended yesterday, or technically, 2 days ago, cuz it's past midnight now.
anyway for the past few weeks i have been going to the library to study almost everyday.
and i don't know, ive been seeing people do weird things at the library.
it's a library, a public place, please do all your weird stuff at home!
some people can't seem to behave in public, they think it's their home or something.
strapya has this super uber cute handphone balloon accessory. i want it!
it's selling for only 250yen! the link of the product here buy it for me ^^
anyway my dad has gotten us a new camera. we got fujifilm f200 exr, i chose it ^^
i like my pictures taken with the camera! it looks more flattering than the pictures i take with my phone ^^
ignore the oiliness of my face though x.x it was after one long day!! other than that i think it makes me look good haha.
my garden
it's so small, i have to fit it in here, here's a link to the larger picture. (photobucket has a size limit too, so it is still scaled down)
oh ya.
i passed my driving test!
it took me a total of 4 months and twenty days since the start of my very first driving lesson on 7th of january!
i completed my driving lessons at about the start of april and from then till my test i had 11 (i think) revision lessons!! haha i wasted a lot of my dad's money. but i managed to pass on the first attempt so all's good ^^
but i still can't park in carparks yet, i need poles to guide me :( gotta find some time to go practise parking.
anyway during my test the traffic light broke down. and there were a few other difficult situations but i was basically hypnotising myself in my mind saying things whenever i made a serious mistake like 'why do i care? i have passed. this is nothing! back to driving!'
but of cuz at the back of my mind i was thinking like shit i wonder what the tester is thinking he has probably given me an immediate failure but i was thinking of my crazy positive 'i have already passed why do i care!' thoughts again and again to drown out all the negativity!
and it worked! i passed!!
and i also put my cross in my jeans pocket so i think it helped me too ^^
i'd be boarding the flight in less than 24 hours' time!
oh, i bought maybelline's gel liner today!!
what can i say. I LOVE IT!!!!
it is better than mac's gel liner in my opinion!
actually i can't really compare, my mac fluidline is in black.
my maybelline gel liner is in brown.
but the maybelline gel liner is sooooo creamy! mac is not creamy!
and the brown is the perfect brown seriously! it has pretty pink shimmers in it too! and it spreads like a dream! it gives a soft yet subtly defined line which really complements my eyes!
but i think eyeliners i like are probably eyeliners other people won't like. i think most people like very well defined intense black eyeliners, like those pitch black liquid liners which give you very dark and clean cut lines. i don't like those, they make my eyes small! i prefer soft lines, not too well defined, and soft browns. now those make my eyes 2x as large than they really are!
most of my commercial makeup are from mac, this is the very first maybelline product i bought. but i think it's good!! but i don't know how long it can last on my oily eyelids, i only tried it for a short period of time. mac fluidline smudges a little on me after half a day.
and i also bought fake lashes today. gonna try it once im back from japan and gotten new glue cuz i bought the wrong glue, i bought a dark coloured glue!! i wanted a clear one.
please help me pray that i can study well, study smart, study hard, not stuff like good luck or crap like that, i wanna be smarter and i want my grades to reflect my intelligence!
haha i want to be smart! i want to do well in exams!!
anyway im so tired, my revision classes have been ending really late and im reaching home around midnight x.x
and right now there's a very very hungry mosquito flying around me urghhhhhhhhhh. mosquitoes should be wiped out from this earth.
am i very weird in real life?
i think sometimes people get exasperated at me cuz i do weird things outside. and my friends would be like, 'i don't recognise you!' haha i know they don't mean it, a lot of them think im interesting, but i think people are sometimes thinking that im very bizarre.
my driving test is on wednesday 27th may. im hoping i don't do some stupid major mistake and i should be alright. i hope so!!
i wanna scream now. i can't scream. RRRRRRRR. why why why why why!
i'll be back on the 9th of june.
see you till then.
« Tuesday, April 28, 2009 »
» 3:59 PM » lets treat the world nicer and be responsible :)
^ haha childish sounding title
we really need to save the world!
my friend took a plastic bag to carry two puffs today from the shop to the school whicb is like 100m away. you can carry it in your hand!! you don't need a plastic bag! can you imagine, that plastic bag is used for at most 5 min then thrown away?? anyway i told her never to ever take a bag again in future if she buys only 2 puffs or less. she agreed, i hope she does keep to her word!
seriously. please try to do your bit in saving the earth. do not use things you don't need! say even if for that 5 mins while walking to school, even if your hands may be full due to holding the puffs, it's only FIVE MINUTES. and you only hold them in one hand, your other hand is still free!! i don't see why people need to take a bag just for that!
please! do not waste anything anymore! why is the weather so bad nowadays? it's cuz our little bad actions everyday are contributing to the wastage that is piling up everyday, resources getting locked up in things like plastic, styrofoam and other items that are not easily broken down/cannot be recycled, unnecessary energy is used to make all these items that we do not have a need for contributing to extra the heat and carbon dioxide that is making our world die!
please think twice before you take that plastic bag! and there are also many other things, just that i can't think of any for the moment. i am putting in effort to reduce my carbon footprint, please do your part too!
let's see, today is the 10th of may!! i started this post like more than 10 days ago! aha~
anyway i got my hair cut 3 days ago, the cut is not bad, but as usual, the front got cut way too much.. i wanted the hair at the side of my face and my fringe to remain long but they got chopped off as usual despite my protests :( but it doesn't look too bad i guess. i look extremely cute now in fact, like a kid haha. but without the long hair at the side to hide my face, my face now looks fatter!!! X.X
anyway i really hate the weather.
for the past couple of months my mom has been making fruit blends. she wanted to make some fruit juice mixture, but it was too messy and she decided to use the blender instead and blends all sorts of weird mixtures and the pulp is not taken out so it's slushy and funny. she blends in the cores of the fruits too including the seeds, add in weird stuff like bittergourd (yes she ever did that once god it was yuck!!!!) and stuff like white/black fungus. i don't mind white/black fungus, but in fruit blends?????? and she makes all of us drink this every night.
and today she made a mango puree/smoothie.. it was very nice except there was white fungus in it. crunchy white fungus in a smooth mango smoothie. it is not all bad, but it is just weird!
anyway im gonna force myself to go swimming tomorrow. i need to lose weight after seeing how people around me have lost so much weight. i need to lose 4 kg!!! im around 48~49 now and i wanna be 45 ~.~
and everyone says i need to tone up. and i think my upper arms are so gigantic. argh.
but i cannot starve, i will die if i were to starve. neither can i eat a little, i need to eat a lot just to even feel half full and i'd be miserable if i were not at least 90% full :(
anyway im trying to get off my lazy butt and do something to lose weight and tone up.
ahhh i am really tempted to take half a year off school, or probably only do one subject. i wanna learn the guitar properly for once!
anyway here are pictures of my new hair!
before my haircut (the morning of the day i got my haircut) ahh long and nice, except that most of the time my hair is very thick especially at the part around my chin and i don't like looking like a mushroom head.
just after the cut ahh i look weird here but whatever. see who's in the mirror! haha~
back of my hair picture taken by esther's mom, she seemed more excited than me and was trying to make me take more pictures of my hair. haha.
and it's obvious she can style my hair way better than i can.. my styling is so hopeless!!!
the day after, my own styling ~.~ it's so flat :( and today's styling was worse, argh. i need more hairstyling skills.
the hair when it's natural, no styling, ok i did mess up the top a little bit to get a bit of shape but no wax and nothing else. (aha don't i look different here? no circle lens! and w/o circle lens i will open my eyes slightly smaller for pictures or else there'll be a lot of white underneath my iris if i open my eyes normally and it's ugly!)
anyway that day my hair had wax/hairspray in it and i wanted to take a nap in the afternoon and didn't wanna deposit any wax onto my pillowcase and so i just grabbed a t-shirt for my pillow to wear before i put my head on it. my pillow looks so cute! :D
i hardly wear this t-shirt now cuz it's so old and has thinned a lot and has a lot of holes especially at the back.
i had a very very very nice driving instructor yesterday ^^ friendly and encouraging instructors actually do exist!!!! (actually my other instructors are very nice too, but yesterday's one was ultra ultra ultra nice) anyway he recommended that i go get a fixed instructor as my test is coming up soon. i wanted to book one particular instructor, but it seems that someone has booked him already :( only managed to book him for one lesson :( ah :( sad :( but nvm, ive booked another one, at least i know im not gonna get the scary and fierce one anymore ^^ all my instructors are nice except for that particular one. he makes me feel lousy and drive lousy. I WANNA PASS MY DRIVING TEST!
anyway i feel like im eating too little, i need to eat more :( but im already eating more than an average person, and i think i will grow fat :( but right now i feel so weak and hungry x.x i wish i can eat less like other people. and i need to find someway to cure my addiction to bubble tea!! i really need to reduce my sugar and fat intake.
today is sunday.
you know, i really envy some people.
i envy people who can turn a situation around. when people give you criticism, or say you're working in the service line and someone complains, you're able to think fast, react in a way that help calm the other party down and keep your cool and think of solutions that work. i wish im like that too. i only know how to get angry, get frustrated, throw a temper, not think straight and end up making things worse.
i envy people who are really intelligent. people who can seem to come up with solutions for everything.
and now i am an adult but i really don't feel like one. i say stupid things, do stupid things, talk like a child, act like a baby. i wish i can grow up and present myself as a better person. be more sensible and matured and not think like a kid anymore.
anyway my mom will probably say stop wishing and do something about it instead of just talking.
yeah i need to do something. i need to change!
anyway i just checked my cbox. there was a spammer criticising my huge and ugly nose. whatever! it may not be perfect, but it has served me well for the past 21 years and i don't see a need to change it! im thankful with what im born with, im healthy and and im not very ugly or anything, if you're a firm believer in plastic surgery that's your own problem. and i won't mold any part of my face to fit your standard of beauty. i have your IP address and i won't hesitate to ban anyone who leaves stupid comments here. if you don't like what you see here please go away.
i opened two new pairs of lenses the past few days :D
brown
and blue, my blue lenses are so absolutely pretty!
i was pretty sleepy and fell asleep during class. then i was dreaming that i was in class (as if i were awake but it was a dream so there) but the teacher wasn't around in my dream, and i told my friend beside me that the teacher had very skinny arms but his tummy is so big!
haha! then after that i woke up and saw that the teacher was in class (he was in class all along) and got a little worried. then i was like, ok im sure i don't talk in my sleep. at least i don't think i said out loud what i said in my dream. it'll be so embarrassing ~.~
ahhh park yong hee i <3 you.
park yong hee makes my heart broken :(
if i were park yong hee, i'd look into the mirror and fall in love with myself everyday :(
ahh today is thursday.
now my eyes feel like dying cuz i wore my black circle lens for more that 11 hours and these lens don't seem to let oxygen through!!!! gosh now my eyes hurt and i have an eye ache.
good anyway. since i don't fancy how i look with black circle lens, i'll just not wear them in future.
today is friday.
oh ya on wednesday i bought another bottle of nfu nail polish (nfu oh #60). ahhh they ran out of stock of another one i wanted!!!!! x.x anyway the one i bought is reddish black with opal flakes that look red/gold/green from different angles. here i layered it over my skin food red nail polish. let me tell you it is soooooo gorgeous when layered over red!
isn't it so gorgeous????? i love love love it!!! i feel like showing off my nails to the whole world!
today i finally bought blotting paper!!!! i got a very oily face ~.~ and i ran out of blotting paper like a couple of months ago and didn't have the chance to buy it.
anyway today the girl at the store recommend that i try this. i used shiseido blotting papers but sasa doesn't stock it anymore :(
anyway i didn't notice the name of the blotting paper and bought it.
and it turns out to be powdered!!!!!!
ahhhhhhh. nvm. i'll use it i guess. i just wanted a pure paper pulp blotting paper. not the clean&clear type of god knows what kind of paper is that (and it had pore clogging mineral oil in it x.x). i also don't wanna use powdered. i like pure paper!! it's thin and good and tough! i miss the shiseido blotting paper, i wonder if i can get it at shiseido counters?
yay. waiting for my new contacts to come in. they just got sent out at the korea airport :D im gonna have 5 new pairs! :D (3 from another local seller though). i guess it sort of an unhealthy obsession. but out of these 5 pairs im only gonna allow myself to open two ^^
i love sausage mcmuffin with egg!! :D:D:D had it for breakfast today! i love mcdonalds!!! :D i like the buns for the mcmuffin, i wonder what kind of buns are those!!!! the slighty chewy and powdery buns. i wish i could find such buns in the supermarket!! and not bread buns!
i am so tired right now. i have been very tired the past few days.
i don't know why, but as i grow older it seems i have been getting really tired, and am easily exhausted.
i will join mensa probably next month. i sent them an email to ask if they accepted my old score (took it way back in sept 03), and they said i could rely on it to join. i wonder what are the benefits of joining mensa. i'll join and see i guess.
seriously i wonder what does very high IQ actually do, i think a normal IQ of say 130 would suffice for most people for everyday, for schoolwork, or workplace skills. for those who know my actual IQ score, it's higher, but i don't necessarily do well in school tests (in fact im pretty weak in some subjects), sometimes i can be extremely unreasonable, sometimes i seem to have a complete lack of common sense. it's like in real life my intelligence doesn't seem more than an average person. sometimes i'm just dumb and do stupid stuff and say silly things. argh.
if i had my way i rather be musically talented and be able to compose tons of stuff and play the guitar. i would be a better person, kinder and have more compassion and be less hot headed.
today is 5th april.
ive been thinking a lot these few days.
my mind is just revolving around the unfairness in this world.
like i said previously, i consider myself lucky.
at the same time, it's making me feel horrible and i cannot do things i can do less privileged people cannot without feeling guilty and i know it's not my fault im born in a lucky situation but thought of the amount of suffering others are going through just keeps playing in my mind again and again.
today the papers had an article about CEOs around the world, and for the american CEO, they're paid for failures.
how did this whole recession come about? selfish short term gains. huge profits are earned , it made the performance of all those smart idiots (smart cuz they know how to earn money for themselves, idiots cuz they are big fat idiots) seem outstanding and they earn big fat bonuses. all these at the expense of long term goals and gains. ultimately, creating something out of nothing and making huge bucks out of it is soon gonna spiral out of control and please no one can say they didn't see this day coming. and they just collect their bonuses and run away.
leaving the rest of the world messed up, making people lose their jobs, their roofs over their heads, making them worry when their next meal will be, worrying if they can pay for their children's education. i hate the way how some people have completely no compassion for others and don't have any conscience.
april 7th
i love my violet lens!
BUT! the right side has expanded and gone out of shape! (not out of shape, but it's bigger than the left side x.x) so now i cannot wear it anymore :( i don't know why, i wanted to wear it yesterday and when i looked into the mirror my eyes were like o.O ahhhhhh i don't know if i should buy this lens again, the other colours are fine though i wear them more often, and there are other lenses i wanna buy for the moment, so i think i have to put these aside for a while :(
and i still love my grey lens
my other violet lens
and im so happy i look decent w/o circle lens and w/o makeup
it looks like this picture i took last year
i have uploaded this song from proposal daisakusen (can't remember if it's spelled this way) it's so nice!! it's those songs you listen to when you're sad and you'll feel better. ahhh i really liked the show!! except that i think that actress of the main girl character didn't act well x.x she kept acting cute and it just made me irritated.
i drove extremely horribly and dangerously today. i realise, with certain instructors i tend to drive better (or is it cuz they don't point out my faults and stress me out?), and with certain instructors i get nervous and start making stupid mistakes.
whatever it is, i must drive better next week!
anyway when your day starts out badly the rest of the day feels like shit.
anyway i think life is very unfair.
sometimes i wonder what the hell am i doing. im here wasting my parents money, wasting their time, wasting their efforts and so far i give them nothing in return.
on the other hand, people are out there starving, having low paid jobs, losing their homes, and esp people in third world countries, when i read or see pictures about them i don't know what to feel.
the recession is not even affecting me currently. i have more than enough food, a roof over my head, given the opportunity to go overseas from time to time.
im far from rich. but when i compare myself to people who do not come from a well to do background, sometimes i think i don't deserve being where i am currently.
but of cuz please don't ask me to become poor or anything. i agree i am selfish. i just wish the world can be a fairer place and no one starves and everyone has a roof over their heads.
right now is sunday morning. i will have having a tutorial later.
i got new lens EOS m202 i wanna get the blue and brown ones. but these are quite expensive.
today is friday 20th march!
i have finally finished learning everything about driving, all the skills. now it's revision lessons left. i hope i don't get the same instructor next week which i got last week. they do alternate weekly shifts, so you have the chance of getting the same instructor every alternate week. the instructor i had last week was sooooo scary!! used to have another instructor for last week's alternate week, but i dunno why ive been getting this scary one lately! i feel damn lousy whenever i have this scary instructor.
i look so crappy when im natural. yay. just add on circle lens and i look soooo much better, even without eyeliner. the magic of circle lens is amazing ^^ haha my forehead is terrble! im still waiting for it to clear up ^^
i should learn to accept my natural look more. im getting too used to circle lens now (and i must find some way to curb my addiction to eyeliner)
by the way, here are my neo 230 two tone greys, it is such a pretty grey lens! and i have rebonded my fringe!!!!!! it no longer curls to the side!!! YAY!!! except it is flatter now and left side (the long parts at the side) doesn't have it's signature flick anymore :( i like that flick. other than that i hated my curly fringe. my mom thinks my fringe is too flat now, she says she is struggling to make her thin and flat hair thicker and here i am flattening my hair! haha.
my lens look amazing indoors i love them so much!!!! they look good even from the side, and they give this eerie grey glow~
and in natural light but not very close to the window
in the dark corner of my room. i like how the lenses look in dim lighting!
and here i have my fringe all down. i seem to have lost my fringe parting after rebonding. i have to keep pushing my fringe to the side if i wanted a parting.
i think im gonna wash my fringe today. i had a hard time washing the back of my hair yesterday while avoiding the fringe at the same time. (also equally hard when im trying to wash my ears) but i think it's more than 24 hours, i think the rebonding should have set in quite some bit by now.
life works in ways i don't understand. but it's not necessarily a bad thing though.
im a terrible person. im a non practising christian. im born one, but i quit going to church since 12 (cuz i don't like my church, i believe in god, but i don't believe in churches) and i hardly pray.
but when im frightened, or feel helpless, then i'll pray! haha im horrible, i only pray when i need help. (but i also do pray to thank god whenever anything good happens to me)
i wonder how about people without religions? like when im in the dark alone (ok i am very frightened of the dark) i'll pray to god to keep me safe. at least i feel better. i wonder what with people without religions do? they don't possibly pray to anything? if i don't pray to god to keep me safe i will really feel 100% alone and even more frightened. not promoting anything here, just wondering what do others do when they're scared and alone. hmmm maybe they'll ask their grandparents/great grandparents in heaven to look over them?
im very good at creating a natural look like i didn't put makeup.
looks very natural right!!!! too bad it's not natural. my eyes aren't natural. they're eyeliner + circle lens you see. anyway i love my hair here, i wish they're like this all the time, straight with volume. it always has volume, but it's always so wavy and curly! @_@
this is 100% natural me and this is already one of the better pictures ~.~ for circle lens, you may not think there is much difference (just look at the eyes only) but when you look at the whole picture somehow you'll wonder how come it's uglier but you cannot tell why.
i look more mature here
so happy ^^ yesterday more makeup came in the mail. so now ive got 5 more full sizes and about 7 more samples of eyeshadow :D haha my mom is getting a little mad at me for buying more and more makeup from time to time.
it's sunday mar 8th now
yay~ kisaki project on my radio blog~ i miss listening to jui's voice!
i finally bought one bottle of nfu-oh nail polish yesterday!!!!!!! the nail polish is so so so so so gorgeous! seriously, no other nail polish has such a nice effect like nfu oh! plus nfu oh nail polish also allows you to apply it in a way that gives you an acrylic nail effect (like gradients of colours) which normal nail polish cannot! (the nice lady at the shop taught me how to) actually i wanted to buy three colours in total, but 2 were out of stock, but they'll call me up once they stock up next week ^^ but i'll only be free to go down about 2 weeks later though.
however the bottle i received yesterday had a faulty brush and while trying to repair the brush i pulled it out instead!!!! so i think im gonna buy some polish remover later and remove the polish off a nail brush from an old bottle and find some way to put it in this new bottle.
anyway yesterday was my mom's 52th birthday!!! haha but when she tells her age to many people they cannot believe it, they think she's in her thirties -_____-|| personally i don't think she looks that young, i guess she doesn't look 52, but she definitely look older than 30 plus!
an old purikura i took with her~ maybe you might remember it, i think it was taken in aug 2007. yes i had a major image revamp since then. i look so natural (it's fake though!! hahaha) and different now! :D my mom looks about the same except that purikura machines are very kind and don't capture your wrinkles so in real life she has more wrinkles that's all.
btw my dad has rheumatism. it started off a few weeks ago when he had some pain in his foot. anyway last week the doctor said he has rheumatism and should stay away from red meat and nuts and alcohol and i think he is a bit upset. well, he need not worry, since he has to cut down on red meat, it means we'll cook less red meat dishes for the family and we would be cutting down along with him so he has the family to join him in eating less red meat ^^ a bit sad, i love red meat. but my mom is like you better watch what you eat now unless you wanna get all sorts of ailments in future.
i can never live a single day without embarrassing myself in some way.
i just embarrassed myself 5 minutes ago.
i was trying to send a seller a picture file to inquire about something, as it seems there is problem with the encoding as i am sending an email in chinese.
and guess what??? i didn't send the picture of the chinese words i wanted to say, i accidentally sent a picture of my face!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
THIS IS SO GODDAMN EMBARRASSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ah. i just hope the person doesn't think im a weirdo now, i don't send pictures to anyone i don't know, this is a mistake ~.~ i hope he or she will be willing to reply me!
and i also went to the wrong car for driving in the morning.
anyway today is thursday.
we have bought the air tickets to japan! ticket to nagoya on 12th june, coming back from tokyo on 23rd june. gonna reach nagoya at about 8++ am, so effectively we're spending the whole of 12th june in japan! :D unlike most tour packages where they give you stupid night flights for the flight to your destination and early morning flights back, a 8 day tour might as well be called a 6 day tour. stupid.
ahhhhh i wanna be more hardworking!!!! i have been extremely lazy since school started and i cannot seem to motivate myself! i wanna study but my laziness and tiredness will get the better of me and i hate it :s and i am having headaches recently. both from the lack of sleep and from having too much sleep. seriously i don't know what is the right amount of sleep i need in order to avoid a headache!
there was a toad in the bathroom yesterday! it was pretty tiny. i couldn't see it clearly at first when i entered, it looked like some beetle/cockroach, but somehow it looks different and realised it was a toad on closer observation. had to open the back door and shoo it out into the garden with a broom.
i want nfu oh nail polish and damn the fact i cannot get it anywhere online cuz there is a local distributor! DAMN!!!!! anyway ive emailed who i think is the local distributor and and hoping that they don't mark up the price too high ~.~ i hate most local distributors here, the price of many things here esp makeup is marked up SO SO SO HIGH! it's like so cheap in the US!
anyway nfu oh nail polishes are absolutely gorgeous. go find pictures of them and you'll fall in love with them.
I LOVE ONE POUND GOSPEL! KAME I LOVE YOU!
haha he's so cute in the show!!!!!! so adorable!!!!! and extremely silly too! but very very cute!! i like the music in the show too!!!! i want the soundtrack!!!
