My perception of Japan is a country which developed at an amazing rate, which had some strange consequences for the society, making it , (despite the generally traditional "Asian Famnily Values") very insular and lonely. It has come to the stage that people take take to substituting realy, healthy human companionships to devoting themselves to 2-D characters. Needless to say, the worst part is that some of these characters often prepubescent...! Another irony is the fact that these "lonley" men and women fall in "love with these characters whose physical features almost entirely unrepresentative of the Japanese population, or for that matter any other ethnicity on earth. Makes you think what just a few years of media influence can do to an entire population's body image...

Highly disturbing as it is (makes you think if most modern, globalized societies are heading this way), I hope it is a very small bunch of people who are part of this sub-sub-culture. I consider myself fairly liberal, but I think somethings are plain wrong, unhealthy for the body, mind and soul!

It's fascinating the author has nothing to say about the fact that the 2-D objects of affection here are cast as children 10 - 12 years old. That seems like a significant aspect worth exploring--why these men would cast their lovers this way, what it means, any conclusions to be drawn--but no, absolutely nothing here.

Answer to Scott-it may be because in Japan, the feminist/economic revolution did a very simple thing-it put a meat cleaver (or maybe sword is more appropriate for Japan) straight through male-female relations. So instead of men and women evolving their roles (say men becoming more in touch with their softer side and women gaining autonomy WITHIN the family), the hyper-capitalist society of Japan completely split off the sexes-didn't reconcile them. So single women (young and not so young) make money, go shopping, travel, etc., quite happily without men (marriage is just a trap of servitude) and disenfranchised men become these otaku creatures who never learn about real sex and relationships. The child imagery in the porn is quite disturbing, but fits, because people were/are completely naive about adult relationships before marriage (capitalism also aborted the system of pre-arranged marriage where boy-men were married to girl-women in order to produce children and keep society orderly and productive). So instead of getting married and having to subsume themselves to adult responsibilities they didn't want, the single people are now untethered...in so many ways.

Having an emotional attachment to and inanimate object is not all that strange. My daughter in college sleeps with a congealed lump of fiber that used to be her favorite stuff animal. It has no hair left, and no eyes. I can tell you if that pathetic looking thing got lost, there will be sadness and mourning.

This is so sad. what has happened to Japanese culture to create 2-D love, especially since they are cartoon images of pubescent girls? Asking questions and making judgements only come back to the deep sadness of men in relationships with pillowcases who feel this enriches their lonely lives.

This is truly one of the most depressing and disturbing articles I have ever read. I'm almost speechless.

And I agree with you Scott (#2) - it's highly significant that these men are drawn to 2-D children and not 2-D adults. I think it may be that women, even imaginary women, are too threatening to these men, so they are drawn to little girls. An imaginary child/girl friend will never reject or leave them.

This article is really a shocker and eye-opener about the prevalence of the eroticization of the child figure. There is a huge sub-culture in the west which buys into these sexually idealized child images. Take for instance the reactions of men anywhere when they see women in "Japanese Schoolgirl" type clothes with plaid skirts, knee high socks and white blouses. It's everywhere, just not to the point of those in this article.

James Kinkaid, wrote a book a few years back titled, "Erotic Innocence: A Culture of Child Molesting" which goes into great detail about the social underpinnings of this phenomena. I recommend anyone who is interested to read it.

For me it's a kind of virtual paedophilia because they even have sex with those "pilows". The fact that the characters are children and not women may reflect their feeling toward real women, most of those people have been rejected by real women, it's easier to be with a child that they can dominate and it's even easier if it's a pilow ( a she says in the article the pilow doesn't have real legs, it will never be able to run away).

PS: excuse my english, I'm french.

I have been to Japan many times and the country is nothing short of amazing in many ways. There are however, many bizzare things about the Japanese culture.

The obsession with so called "work" is one of them. The work promptly starts at 8:00 or 9:00a which means that one probably has to leave the home an hour earlier. The evenings are for socialization (beer gardens etc.) Sometimes these last late into the night and the expectation of reaching the work next morning promptly is still there. Some of these "parties" are because the boss wants it!

All this does is reduce the time the family spends together. There is also social pressure to continue this; i.e. if a man came home early, he may be considered a "slacker".

This may be resulting in the uptick in the percentage of dysfunctional families a result of which is the phenomenon you mentioned above. As a father of two girls in the US, I am acutely aware of these tradeoffs.

Another phenomenon is the "adult" kids still living at home and not having any semblance of what we consider a "social life".

-- AJ

It's not only in Japan that this happens. Naomi Wolf has written about young men here in the US who watch so much porn, starring perfect women with perfect bodies, that they can't get turned on any more by real women with human imperfections.

Porn is not harmless.

How much of this is a symptom of something more insidious, like a degredation of the normal female form? Falling in "love" with an idealized image of a pre-pubescent cartoon image with impossibly large eyes or a busty schoolgirl uniform cartoon conditions these men against what normal, imperfect, mature, speaking women look like. This isn't innocent, it's a problem.

It's easy, I think, to read this article and worry about the state of Japanese men's (and women's) mental health, but how far off is this kind of thing for all of us? So many of our interactions with others are mediated by technology this kind of fetishism seems the direction of the future. I recently read a (granted, tongue-in-cheek) piece on how Skype sex is better than the real thing, and it's well-known people's addiction to online pornography can make them unable to respond to their real, in-the-flesh partners. Real people are scary, messy and risky, and you don't have to be Japanese to know that. But the way technology markets ever more denatured sexual fantasies to us in the guise of self-fulfillment is far, far scarier than any real relationship with an actual person, no matter how messy.

"I watched him position her gently in the restaurant booth and later in the back seat of his car, making sure to keep her upright and not to touch her private parts."

Yeah, right. That part comes later, in private. You think there is a need for mental health counseling here? Maybe. Maybe.

Can you blame women for not being interested in men who fantasize about pre-teen cartoon characters with "exaggerated labia"?

There are different birds in the big forest.

They are leaving others alone, others should leave them alone. They are not hurting anyone but their own chances at procreation. That is no business of anyone but perhaps their family and friends.

Substitute an imaginary girlfriend for beer / weed / video games / porn / football obsession and you get a picture of a male in many Western societies, not just in Japan. Most young guys snap out of it by the time the hit their 30s but some never do. All comments above are dead on as to why men seem to have more difficulty growing up. Of course, it doesn't help that contemporary consumerism-driven society condones if not encourages this behavior.

Wow. What a fascinating social commentary.

The need to find a love partner --or love partners-- is obviously very fundamental in nearly everyone. In the old days, you grew up in a relatively small community of people, among whom you usually found someone of long familiarity who was a good match. The emphasis was on shared intimacy and compatibility.

In the post-industrial world of high-tech mobility and hedonism, that old love paradigm has been threatened, if not totally abandoned. The dating game has become part of an expanded (globalized?) market based on rational self-interest, self-aggrandizement, and the maximization of hedonism. We objectify and publicize ourselves shamelessly, with the idea of leveraging our sexual capital: good-looks, social polish, education, professional attainment, wealth, youth, connections, reputation, popularity, long-term prospects, physical equipment (height, weight, proportions, etc.) and so forth. The dating game has become almost entirely a matter or advertising, marketing and selling (or buying). (The marriage game --and eventually the divorce game-- seem like natural follow-ups.)

As with all markets, there are winners and losers. And there are quite a few people who, for whatever reasons, simply don't care to play. Lisa Katayama's story highlights how such dating drop-outs have, often with creative and imaginative choices, found ways to engage, if not entirely satisfy, their inescapable needs. I suppose the progression will, inevitable, go from body-pillow girl-friends, to computer-sex, and fin ally to Stepford wives and robots a la Blade Runner (for those who can afford them).

This is bizarre and disturbing. But before we get too condescending, consider the large fraction people who believe in all sorts of paranormal phenomena, conspiracy theories (the moon walks were fake!), heaven and hell, afterlife, the soul, crystals with healing powers, channelling, haunted houses, martyrdom, spirits, ghosts, etc. etc. In comparison to some common nuttyness, walking around carrying a pillow displaying a pubescent cartoon character seems fairly benign and even unexceptional (well, having sex with a pillow with a picture of a girl on it is disturbing).

As a longtime resident of Japan, I can assure your readers that the subjects of this article are, in fact, your average, run-of-the-mill, mentally and emotionally unstable marginalized eccentrics - or to be less polite, weirdos - the type found on the streets of any city of the world, be it Tokyo or New York.

I almost wanted to hate this article but honestly, it's very much a great article.

And yes, I understand sexualization of children is especially disturbing to westerners - culturally and religiously. I'm not defending but let me just not judge it for now.

I have very ambivalent feeling about it. Japanese men in general prefer younger women (same here for 50 year old marrying 20 year old in a way) and it's so humiliating and frustrating for us women when we get "mature," and treated as " past 'eat before' date." At the same time, when you grew up in that culture, you'd know it is one facet of very complex culture which you cannot just surgically remove it.

And barcelona41 is right. Younger girls who doesn't know better wouldn't reject/judge men in bed. He can be the boss. But real question is why Japanese men cannot face real woman.

Hope James Kinkaid have already pointed out how Japanese men forever feel utterly powerless over women, especially to his mother. Japan has the lowest birth rate and most men grow up as the only child. Father slaves himself to work. In the absence of man/father, mother look to her child as the substitute. Imagine what kind of emotional growth it gives when there's suffocating closeness of mother-son.

Then there's the society who expect individuals to fill in roles. Roll as mother, or father or son and daughter.

All this combined, a Japanese man has to slaves to his mother, to his company, and to his roll in the society. There's no room to be an individual where you can be a sexual being. Coupled with overbearing mother who controlled everything about him, he has very fragile ego. Well, I almost feel sorry for Japanese men!

For Japanese women, things are not better. It's still rigid patriarch society which expect women to choose between work and motherhood.

Although I find the lack of society's pressure on individuals in the US is disturbing, producing over-confident, rude, selfish, self-serving pople, overall I'm happier here where you can be who you are.

This is the most pathetic thing that I have ever read. These men are willfully tossing away their humanity.

"her hairless vagina"...?

Excuse me, but every woman's vagina is hairless, and is also, in fact, invisible to a casual glance.

The work you are looking for is "vulva".

There was a very good science fiction movie with a similar theme, I believe it was a French movie from the 1960's or early 70's. Love was gone in the society. People, even beautiful people, were like robots; not machines, but empty inside. Love had to rediscovered and was, by the two young protagonists in the film. I am heartbroken that such a scenario can come true in Japan with so many people. Yes, there are obsessed porn watchers and video game players in the U.S. but love is not lost. It is, in fact, everywhere. Romance is everywhere. Romance is not defined as narrowly as it used to be, it's old and young, it's straight and gay, it crosses all color and ethnic lines. But love is not lost in the United States.

The Japanese have to reorganize their priorities. Work is not first. Not here. Not there. Family is first. Love is first. A famous ad says, "The mind is a terrible thing to waste." The heart is an even worse thing to waste.

After reading this article I couldn’t help but notice the similarities in behavior to documentary I had seen a year ago called "Love Me, Love My Doll."

To quote http://www.thedocumentaryblog.com...
“Documentary about the men who use sophisticated life-size dolls for sexual satisfaction and more - such as dates, affection and lifelong companionship. Featuring a young American man who gives his doll daily massages in the home he shares with his disapproving Mum and Dad; a British man who takes his doll out on day trips to the coast where she watches him hang- glide; and two Americans who live with multiple dolls, one of whom shares his eight synthetic lovers with his human girlfriend.”

Both..disorders..involve a need to substitute human relationships for tangible objects of fantasy modeled by the aesthetics of beauty and desirability for their respective cultures. These extreme outliers are at the same time disturbing and pathetic, in the most compassionate sense of the word. But what can really be done when these choices are driven by an unwillingness/inability to handle the obstacles of real human relationships?