X-wing
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| |
| X-wing | |
|---|---|
| Production information | |
| Manufacturer |
INCOM corp |
| Product line |
Alphabet fighters |
| Model |
23rd out of 26 |
| Class |
X Class |
| Cost |
23000 Credits |
| Technical specifications | |
| Length |
14 ft |
| Width |
14 ft |
| Height/depth |
14 ft |
| Mass |
6900 lbs |
| Maximum acceleration |
2000 mph |
| Maximum speed (atmosphere) |
Mach 6 |
| Engine unit(s) |
Four Round ones |
| Hyperdrive rating |
Class 1.2 |
| Shielding |
A Pretty Rubbish Shield |
| Hull |
Barely Any |
| Sensor systems | |
| Countermeasures |
None |
| Armament |
|
| Escape craft |
None |
| Crew |
1 + Sexbot |
| Passengers | |
| Cargo capacity | |
| Usage | |
| Kills |
Lots and Lots of TIES |
| Era(s) |
Kick Ass Era |
| Commissioned |
5 BBY |
| Earliest sighting |
5 BBY |
| Affiliation | |
- Rebel Radioman: "Luke? You seemed to have turned off your targeting computer."
- Luke: "Because this fighter's so kick-ass!"
- — Luke, during the Death Star run
An X-wing was a really cool starship. They also had wings! Shaped like Xs! Isn't that cool! They fucking PWNED TIEs! X-wings carried astromech droids, such as R2-D2. Many of the coolest people in the galaxy such as Wedge Antilles flew these fighters. X-wings even though were expensive the ragtag of Rebels seemed to always have these fighters and the skills to manage. These machines were the ultimate beast for PWNAGE in Space.
Contents |
[Edit] The Birth of Pure PWNAGE
The most magnificent Starfighter and probably the coolest ship you'll ever see in any Sci-Fi movie was created by the INCOM Corporation which manufactured flash cards for the Mentally challenged. The president of the corporation got tired of printing letters on cards and he decided that he wanted to do something greater with letters.
- "Fuck this flashcard nonsense, I want to make starfighters!"
- ―President of INCOM
Instead of benefiting the Mentally challenged he decided to start the Alphabet Class of Starfighters. They went through many designs from all the 26 letters but in the end the superior fighter seemed to be the X-wing. The X-wing had it all from superior firepower to being a kick-ass ride for the ladies. The Alliance could use this vehicle for both recruiting hot-sexy women to destroying the Empires swarms of shit fighters.
[Edit] 1000 cans of Whoop Ass on the Imps
Once the Alliance deployed the X-wings the Galactic civil war immediately began to change and like I mean immediately. Like that instant, the X-wings were deployed, the tide of battle seemed to change and like the arrow was pointing to the Rebel Alliance for Total Victory. The TIEs were no match for the X-wing and were simply shredded apart at their terror. The TIE fighter would make some squeaky ass noise like a streak then get destroyed. Now against Star Destroyers an X-wing would just have to find some hidden exhaust port and launch a Proton torpedo straight up it and like Blammo! the battle was over. The trick even worked with the Death Star. Imperial morale was down to an all time low and the best part of the X-wing is that it got oh so sweet women. The Rebels found themselves picking up multitudes of Babes and even supersonic ultra Ladies. The construction of the X-wing was probably the second best thing other then sex and pornography.
[Edit] Pilots
X-wing pilots were probably the most renowned pilots in the world and probably the most Intelligent people you would meet. Piloting wasn't just enough for the pilots they had all kinds of skills such as Rogue Squadron pilot Corran Horn, he was an ace pilot but also a kick-ass Jedi and he also fancied the color green. Then there's Jek Porkins, who was also and ace pilot but he was a pro eater before Japanese mega eaters. Then there was Luke, who was just good at video games before he could fly his first combat mission that would decide the fate of the Rebel Alliance.
- Wedge: "He scored high in the simulators and has no real flight time in the X-wing. I think he'll do great against the Death Star."
- Luke: "Thanks, bud, but what are half of these buttons for?"
- — Luke, preparing for the battle to decide the fate of the Alliance
X-wing Pilots really had a thing for piloting and were the best at what they do. The X-wing was such a perfect machine that it made a majority of the pilots perfect. Probably one of the greatest Pilots of ALL TIME is Wedge Antilles.
[Edit] Wedge "Ace" Antilles
- "I think I'll shoot a million TIEs downs today."
- ―Wedge on a daily basis.
Wedge was the one that made the X-wing popular from kid's toys to sex scenes in New age porn. Wedge and the Rogue Squadron were probably the PWN hammer for the Alliance. Wedge was known for feeling the X-wing and making it do unnatural maneuvers and possessing some attributes of using the Force. Wedge was a modest guy from Corellia and what Corellians did was play their odds against them. This guy Wedge Antilles made the X-wing a famous machine for all The Galaxy. Wedge was also complimented on shooting down 1/3 of the total TIE forces the Empire had. He also had 2 Death Stars on his flight suit. He also got it down with the ladies.
[Edit] Luke another Story
Then there was Luke Skywalker and I'm guessing why he became such and ace pilot is because he had the last name of Skywalker. He excelled at video games and he simply loved flying in space. The Alliance chose him for the mission that depended on his expertise even though he didn't have any combat experience. They depended on some Tatooine farmboy with no combat experience to save the whole Alliance. Wow, I'm never going to join the Rebels if they were that desperate. I mean Damn, what were they thinking?
- "Not like Beggar's Canyon."
- ―Luke, during the Battle of Yavin
He soon figured out that flying wasn't all fun an he became aware of all the bloody losses the Imperials were having. This exhilarated Luke and he began shooting down TIES at an exceptional rate. He was even the leader of Rogue Squadron but Luke decided to train do the path of the Jedi so he could pick up more women. Ahh Luke, what an exceptional pilot.
[Edit] X-wing Legacy
- The Legacy of the X-wing is that it was brought into service and it kicked ass.
- The X-wing was created from the 23rd letter of the alphabet.
- Every person that stepped into the X-wing became "Do-able".
- All the pilots were multi-talented.
- Wedge Antilles was the shit.
- An X-wing can Destroy your planet.
- X-wing pilots looked good in their flight suits.
