Am Telefon mit Gott

[Hu San Niang]

Am Telefon mit Gott
Was tun, wenn das Telefon läutet und am anderen Ende der Leitung glaubt jemand, mit Gott zu sprechen? Laut einem Bericht der BBC ...



... hat der Fastfood-Filialleiter Andy Green derzeit bis zu 70-mal pro Tag mit diesem Problem zu kämpfen. Schuld daran ist Jim Carreys neuer Film Bruce Almighty. In diesem trifft der US-Komiker den Allmächtigen. Und der gibt ihm seine Privatnummer.

Blöd nur, dass sich die Hollywoodproduktion nicht an die übliche Praxis hält, bei in Filmen auftauchenden Telefonnummern die im wirklichen Leben nicht existierende Zahlenkombination 555 voranzustellen, um so eventuelle Belästigungen von Privatpersonen zu vermeiden. Blöd nur, dass es viele Menschen gibt, die Fiktion für Realität halten. Der so mit Sinnfragen belästigte Andy Green erwägt nun rechtliche Schritte gegen die Produktionsfirma Universal. Er leide aufgrund der vielen Anrufe an Schlafstörungen.

Noch schlimmer dran ist Glasermeister Dawn Jenkins aus Florida. Auch er hat dieselbe Telefonnummer wie der Filmgott. Bis zu 20 Anrufe pro Stunde gehen bei ihm derzeit ein. Deshalb, liebe Leser, eine Bitte: Beim Fernsehen immer aufpassen, ob es sich um eine Nummer handelt, die in einem Film bekannt gegeben wird, oder etwa um eine Hotline für Schwammerlvergiftungen in Willkommen Österreich.

Wer trotzdem dringend mit Gott sprechen möchte: Im Englischen existiert bei aufkommender Übelkeit (unter anderem wegen giftiger Schwammerln) der etwas drastische Ausdruck "Talking to God on the big white telephone". (schach/DER STANDARD; Printausgabe, 3.6.2003)


:D

[rufio]

so blöd kanns laufen ;)

[Hu San Niang]

http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/waiwai/0306/0627fecal.html

Crappy cops laugh last at smelly suspect's incontinent buttocks

Hokkaido Prefectural Police pooh-pooh the suggestion that they're crappy when it comes to collaring crims, but admit there was something stinky about the way one suspected crook got away and led investigators on a merry chase until his capture Wednesday.
It all started with a regulation breaking-and-entering case in Sapporo.

"We received a signal that a security alarm had gone off at an earthmoving equipment company, so three police officers headed off to the scene. They arrived to find a man sneaking into the company's offices and arrested him on the spot," a source from the Chitose Police Station tells Shukan Shincho (7/3).

The suspect was a man standing 183 centimeters and dressed in black. Officers slapped handcuffs on him and sat him in the back of a patrol car. Two officers sat in the front of the vehicle, while the remaining cop sat beside the man they'd picked up.

"Soon after they'd put the guy in the car, he turned around and said he'd pooped his pants. There was a vile reek wafting throughout the car," the source says.

Furious, the officer sitting beside the suspect handed him a wad of tissue paper, which the man used to try and wipe his bottom even though he was still handcuffed. To fumigate the car, the officer opened the rear window of the car about one-third of the way down to let some fresh air in.

"When the man saw the window was partly open, he asked for some more tissues so that he could blow his nose. The officer opened the window completely as one of his colleagues looked for more tissues," a local reporter tells Shukan Shincho.

The proverbial hit the fan, or the road to be more correct, as the patrol car hurtled through the streets of Chitose at about 50 kilometers per hour.

"The suspect suddenly jumped up and threw himself out of the car window. The patrol car halted about 30 meters later and the officers ran back to pick him up again, but he'd already vanished," the hack adds.

Fortunately for the police officers, the stinky suspect left something of a scent for them to follow. A car parked near the scene of the initial bungled burglary belonged to the suspect. Cops now had a name -- Kenichiro Saito, a 34-year-old driver who lived in Sapporo. Saito had no prior convictions and lived apart from his estranged wife.

"Saito's poop-stained jeans were found at his apartment. He stole a car in Chitose and drove home, then headed off toward southern Hokkaido," an investigation source tells Shukan Shincho.

Police launched a massive manhunt for Saito, mobilizing 320 officers, who still failed to catch him. It was only a sharp-eyed cop not involved in the pursuit who spotted Saito on a train Wednesday that led to his arrest.

Had police used a bit of common sense and sat an officer either side of Saito soon after his arrest, he would probably never have gotten away regardless of how many crappy stunts he pulled. But Chitose Police Station officials maintain they've done the right thing.

"No procedures exist," a station spokesman tells Shukan Shincho "that make it obligatory for an officer to be placed on each side of a suspect while riding in a patrol car."