[Bluecat]

More men convinced marriage leads to life of misery

14 February 2006. Mainichi News

Marriage means misery, according to Spa! (2/14), which claims it has the stats to back up its contentious claim.

Japan has in recent years been plagued by the joint problems of people waiting longer than they had to marry, having fewer people tie the knot and a greater number of couples who do pair up splitting again some time down the track.

According to the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare, Japan's marriage rate has dropped 9.9 percent over the past 10 years, while the divorce rate has skyrocketed by 26.5 percent over the same time.

Spa! says this nixing of nuptials is simple -- people have finally cottoned on to the fact that getting married eventually leads to disappointment.

A poll of 100 married men from 25 to 35 showed that 58 percent regretted ever marrying, with 35 percent of these guys -- with an average marriage of 4 years and 11 months -- saying they have rued their wedding day at least 10 times since it happened.

Divorce counselor Atsuko Okano is not surprised.

"There are so many people out their who mistakenly think they can get married and be guaranteed happiness," she tells Spa! "When dating, people only see what they want to see with their partner. This ultimately leads to marriage breakdowns."

Okano says that if any partner was as good as their potential spouse viewed them, they'd have probably already been snapped up by somebody else.

"Without knowing and accepting somebody's good and bad points, you're setting yourself up for misery by marrying them. It's pretty hard to expect somebody in the fewer years that they're considered to be of marriageable age to find a partner they can know all about. Most people of so-called marriageable age have a far too over-inflated opinion of their ability to judge others' characters."

Placing too much trust in a partner -- and expecting too much from them -- can lead to some awkward situations after tying the knot.

"There are still way too many people who think that just by marrying they'll become happy. Just because people become a couple there's no way that they're going to automatically understand each other and comprehend everything about their spouse. It's ridiculous to even think that could possibly be the case," the divorce counselor tells Spa! "
Most people haven't even got a clue about their own personalities, let alone somebody else. No matter how much you think you love someone, don't ever give them a value greater than they're worth."

[yohan]

This is the response of men - do not marry! This situation is everywhere the same now, not only in Japan.

Why should they marry? Any advantage? There is no advantage for a married man nowadays, only troubles and risk.

As man you have to pay in case of divorce...alimony for the wife, child support for children you never will see again...
The number of children is also declining, as parents have no rights anymore, only obligations. Abortion is cheaper...

Divorce: Divorce rate in some countries is 50 percent or higher, the risk is now too high, especially for men.

To pay? For what? Better stay single.

[Bluecat]

To pay? For what? Better stay single.

Are you married Yohan?

[yohan]

To pay? For what? Better stay single.

Are you married Yohan?

Yes, I am, but I married 1976.
The social situation now is totally different compared to 30 years ago.
Now, I cannot recommend any young man to do the same what I did 1976.
----------
1976 for example, in Canada such a regulation did not exist:

Ontario's Bill 117, enacted in the year 2000, requires that if a woman merely *claims* that her partner has been violent to her, he is ejected from their home, his assets are frozen, and he is jailed. It doesn't matter whether she manufactured the allegation, as is frequent with many angry partners on the verge of splitting. It doesn't matter if she has a history of frequent lying and if there is no evidence of violence from him. It doesn't even matter if she feels guilty about lying and withdraws the accusation. The man is automatically assumed to be guilty until proven innocent, forcibly removed, financially disempowered and jailed for the evening. He can wake to find his partner has applied for an intervention order, that he now owns nothing and has no place to go. He is not asked for his side of the story, because he is male.
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How many other regulations like this one above shall I post for you, Bluecat?

What about VAWA+IMBRA in the USA, where NOW! is offering a bundle of pervert advices for women, 'how to make divorce easy, profitable and fun'?

I also do not know about a regulation in Europe (UK) in 1976, where a 13 years old girl could get an abortion free of charge and parents even had no right to be informed.

All such laws, regulations and advices did not exist 1976.

Times are changing, Bluecat

This post has been edited by yohan: 2006-02-14 22:05:32

[Bluecat]

Times are changing, Bluecat

Right, but the number of marriages did not really decrease, on the contrary.
Just that people marry more than one time these days...

[mbk]

I always thought that in Japan it was sort expected for men climbing the corporate ladder to be married.
A kind of company face type of thing.

[Thaibebop]

This is the response of men - do not marry! This situation is everywhere the same now, not only in Japan.

Why should they marry? Any advantage? There is no advantage for a married man nowadays, only troubles and risk.

As man you have to pay in case of divorce...alimony for the wife, child support for children you never will see again...
The number of children is also declining, as parents have no rights anymore, only obligations. Abortion is cheaper...

Divorce: Divorce rate in some countries is 50 percent or higher, the risk is now too high, especially for men.

To pay? For what? Better stay single.

So, what do you advise your daughters?

[yohan]

So, what do you advise your daughters?

I do not interfere into the life of my 2 daughters, who are adults and who are 24 and 29 years old.
It is up to them. I do not give any advice.

My older daughter is still single, living near Tokyo.
My younger daughter is married with an US-citizen, living in the USA.

[yohan]

I always thought that in Japan it was sort expected for men climbing the corporate ladder to be married.
A kind of company face type of thing.

Yes, this is correct, a typical Japanese company marriage....man and wife working in the same company, introduced by co-workers in the same company...average age for bride and groom somewhat between 35 and 40...
no children in future, of course.

[Thaibebop]

So, what do you advise your daughters?

I do not interfere into the life of my 2 daughters, who are adults and who are 24 and 29 years old.
It is up to them. I do not give any advice.

My older daughter is still single, living near Tokyo.
My younger daughter is married with an US-citizen, living in the USA.

Okay, what would you advise them if they were growning up now in Japan?

[francois]

This is the response of men - do not marry! This situation is everywhere the same now, not only in Japan.

Why should they marry? Any advantage? There is no advantage for a married man nowadays, only troubles and risk.

As man you have to pay in case of divorce...alimony for the wife, child support for children you never will see again...
The number of children is also declining, as parents have no rights anymore, only obligations. Abortion is cheaper...

Divorce: Divorce rate in some countries is 50 percent or higher, the risk is now too high, especially for men.

To pay? For what? Better stay single.

hi'
for once I will tend to agree with you yohan
why tie a knot that for a larger 50% chance tha this knot is going to brake due to women problems?
I have to agre that more and more women and mother doesn't match like this should do !

world's changing ... may be not for the best (pessimistic or realistic view)
world's changing ... let's have a different way to live ... (out of reality! )

the world changes, why follow the movement if you don't agree with?
not many animals have female as leader, Elephants ... any else?

we are not going to become the elephant leg as some asian history told us it was like this in the past for women ...

francois

ps; and, yes ... I'm married
this one for you Blue

REBELS = KEEP ON FIGHTING

This post has been edited by francois: 2006-02-15 16:45:08

[yohan]

So, what do you advise your daughters?

I do not interfere into the life of my 2 daughters, who are adults and who are 24 and 29 years old.
It is up to them. I do not give any advice.
My older daughter is still single, living near Tokyo.
My younger daughter is married with an US-citizen, living in the USA.

Okay, what would you advise them if they were growning up now in Japan?

I do not think about solutions of problems, which do not exist for me anymore. Sorry.

I am taking care for a 10-years old foster girl from the Philippines. But 10 years is still a bit young to talk about marriage or to talk about how to avoid pregnancy and abortion, when she will be 13 or 14 years old...

Come back with your question in 2 years please, OK?

[yohan]

.........the world changes, why follow the movement if you don't agree with?
not many animals have female as leader, Elephants ... any else?
we are not going to become the elephant leg as some asian history told us it was like this in the past for women ...
francois
ps; and, yes ... I'm married
this one for you Blue
REBELS = KEEP ON FIGHTING

There is a beeyard, and inside is a queen bee, and at the beginning of her job she is a virgin queen bee,
after the job is done for the males, they will be killed in return as a 'thank you'....

REBELS = KEEP ON FIGHTING
I am the bee master, taking the honey, giving them fire under their female bee asses....
even the queen bee does not like that and will be gone from her honey comb.....

just get out of my eyes, you sweet bitch...

[Georgie-Porgie]

Masculinist Hero.

[Bluecat]

There is a beeyard, and inside is a queen bee, and at the beginning of her job she is a virgin queen bee,
after the job is done for the males, they will be killed in return as a 'thank you'....

REBELS = KEEP ON FIGHTING

I am the bee master, taking the honey, giving them fire under their female bee asses....
even the queen bee does not like that and will be gone from her honey comb.....

just get out of my eyes, you sweet bitch...

I'm afraid males can not insure the survival of the species on their own, Yohan, while with a bit of technology the females could.

So I do not want to be pessimistic but when cloning will be available for humans, men will disappear.

So enjoy it while you still can...

[chingy_]

dont know about you guy but im happily marry

[Mandrunk]

There is a beeyard, and inside is a queen bee, and at the beginning of her job she is a virgin queen bee,
after the job is done for the males, they will be killed in return as a 'thank you'....

REBELS = KEEP ON FIGHTING

I am the bee master, taking the honey, giving them fire under their female bee asses....
even the queen bee does not like that and will be gone from her honey comb.....

just get out of my eyes, you sweet bitch...

I'm afraid males can not insure the survival of the species on their own, Yohan, while with a bit of technology the females could.

So I do not want to be pessimistic but when cloning will be available for humans, men will disappear.

So enjoy it while you still can...

Nonsense. Women are far too irrational to cope on their own.

[Bluecat]

There is a beeyard, and inside is a queen bee, and at the beginning of her job she is a virgin queen bee,
after the job is done for the males, they will be killed in return as a 'thank you'....

REBELS = KEEP ON FIGHTING

I am the bee master, taking the honey, giving them fire under their female bee asses....
even the queen bee does not like that and will be gone from her honey comb.....

just get out of my eyes, you sweet bitch...

I'm afraid males can not insure the survival of the species on their own, Yohan, while with a bit of technology the females could.

So I do not want to be pessimistic but when cloning will be available for humans, men will disappear.

So enjoy it while you still can...

Nonsense. Women are far too irrational to cope on their own.

There are far more women living on their own than men, if only because they live longer...

[Thaibebop]

So, what do you advise your daughters?

I do not interfere into the life of my 2 daughters, who are adults and who are 24 and 29 years old.
It is up to them. I do not give any advice.
My older daughter is still single, living near Tokyo.
My younger daughter is married with an US-citizen, living in the USA.

Okay, what would you advise them if they were growning up now in Japan?

I do not think about solutions of problems, which do not exist for me anymore. Sorry. B.S Yohan, that's all any of do on here, What a poor excuse not to think about here and now.

I am taking care for a 10-years old foster girl from the Philippines. But 10 years is still a bit young to talk about marriage or to talk about how to avoid pregnancy and abortion, when she will be 13 or 14 years old...

Come back with your question in 2 years please, OK? OK, deal, in two years!

[Mandrunk]

There is a beeyard, and inside is a queen bee, and at the beginning of her job she is a virgin queen bee,
after the job is done for the males, they will be killed in return as a 'thank you'....

REBELS = KEEP ON FIGHTING

I am the bee master, taking the honey, giving them fire under their female bee asses....
even the queen bee does not like that and will be gone from her honey comb.....

just get out of my eyes, you sweet bitch...

I'm afraid males can not insure the survival of the species on their own, Yohan, while with a bit of technology the females could.

So I do not want to be pessimistic but when cloning will be available for humans, men will disappear.

So enjoy it while you still can...

Nonsense. Women are far too irrational to cope on their own.

There are far more women living on their own than men, if only because they live longer...

That's right Blucat... Their boyfriends left them because she blew the entire houshold budget on shoes, handbags and household furnishings.