In terms of shocking headlines, this is surely up there with such proclamations as "bear defecates in the woods", "Pope is Catholic" and "George W Bush was not terribly popular".
Indeed, the most incredible thing about this announcement is that it has taken the Office of National Statistics so long to make it. It is the fiscal equivalent of George Michael coming out as gay. As in: well hello there, tell us something we don't already know.
The thing about this recession, or economic decline, or depression or blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada, is that I have been so intensely, incredibly bored of it, so absolutely over it, for months and months and months.
And now I learn that it has only just begun. For the love of God (or Alistair Darling), please make it stop. Not because I am scared that I will lose my job (I am always scared that I am about to lose my job), or that I will never be able to get a mortgage (I accept that I won't), but because I am so bloody tired of listening to everyone bang on about it all the time.
If I hear the words "credit" and "crunch" together one more time, I may kill. Who the hell came up with this colloquial term anyway? They deserve to be made bankrupt. And I am sick of watching endless graphs and pie charts on the news. It's like being back at school in the most boring maths lesson ever.
Also, male friends who once watched Wall Street suddenly become absolute experts on how to get us all out of this mess, to the point that you think "cooey, Jason - they should make you Chancellor, but whilst we wait for that to happen: SHUT. THE. HELL. UP."
We get it: we are all going to be really poor this year. So please, let's not dwell on it.
I can see the link for "Report this comment" ... but I cannot find the link for "Report this editorial".
Can somebody help me out here?
Yeah , hun x .
I agree . An I deffo don't wanna hear the words 'Bryony has been pensioned off' .
Effin go for it honey coz , if you don't keep this high standard up , you are gonna be HISTORY x .
Big love an big luck x .
E x .
Could we hear some news about role models who are successfully doing the right thing.
You should go to the Dr Byrony, if such a little thing gets on your nerves to this extent then it is you that has a problem - not those that are speaking the truth or those that are trying to salvage something from this mess created by politician, sleeping journalists or a public more interested in football and big brother than their country. Nothing wrong with the rest of us at all - we are not complaining. But unless people come to an understanding of the true cause and effect of this Depression then our children will be subjected to the same miserable treatment at the hands of those that are meant to represent their best interests. This whole problem is the result of people like you not listening in the first place.
Why in the name of god is this linked to the Finance section - perhaps until today the last bastion of quality on the DT? The loss of Lewis due to the recession cannot come soon enough.
What a classic piece of journalism.....
Do you really get paid for this?
Perhaps the fact that you do is indicative of how we got into this mess in the first place.
You are clearly a failure.
Sorry Bryony... the boom is bust.
These are still happy days.
What frustrates you now is only a sniff of the economic misery to come.
Warren Buffett said:"It's only when the tide goes out that you find out who's been swimming naked".And when Bernie Madoff,one of the most famous nude swimmers in history,conceded that he'd actually been running a gigantic Ponzi scheme for years,his succinct description can be equally applied to the fantasy world of credit-fuelled affluence many of us have been suckered into for the past decade,or more:"It was all one big lie".
Anyone fancy a spot of skinny dipping?
'It's like being back at school in the most boring maths lesson ever.'
A startling admission from a financial journalist. Perhaps had some of our masters of the universe and their acolytes been a bit more numerate, the taxpayer would not be footing the bill.
Bryony should be worried about losing her job for wasting her own time, employers time and our time writing this drivel.
Put it on your own blog or over a coffee with your own whinging friends Bryony
No you obviously still don't 'get it'. We are not going to be poor this year, we are going to be poor for the forseeable future.
Zenobia - "How about taking a lead from the ENRON scandal and put all the senior bankers on trial for their misdeeds?"
Sounds like a nice idea, but the tricky bit is that being a ****ing idiot isn't a crime in Britain and that's all most are guilty of. And if being a ****ing idiot was a crime then trying bankers would be just the tip of a really big iceberg starting at No. 10 and finishing with everyone who watches I'm A Celebrity.
Not to worry, Ms. Gordon. The word is about to change to depression. The Great Depression cubed, at least.
Bry babe ,yo got it,us pops couldn't give a fig!So the coutry is just starting it little problem.So,when does us pops wake up-probably never?
No wonder you're always scared of losing your job - your article is at the best purile, but essencially a complete waste of column inches.
Excellent observation.
Lack of confidence and pessimism is extremely contagious in our present economic situation. A fact which many psychologists have been telling us - clearly being exposed on a daily basis to "doom and gloom" statistics etc. in my opinion patently negates the recovery process greatly. Petrol on a fire syndrome.
We are indeed living in interesting times, but this constant "talking down" of the economy is not the mind set we need to try and feel confident again.
You are young Bryony. You haven't directly experienced the effects of a recession. You will find out soon enough quite how boring one can get.
Hooray - now can you get this in front of the bosses of BBC News and ITN, Sky News, etc. and tell them to listen. I am still waiting for bird flu to strike having had months of the prediction. I believe the North Koreans used similar tactics many years ago of repeating and repeating and repeating propaganda to the allies. Is there something in the Geneva Convention that we can use against the broadcasting companies?
If you don't like the word depression use the word slump. It is a lot more expressive.
zenobia? you don't remember it?
where in the world were you at the time? or maybe you don't remember that either.
Bryony,
You need to grow up and face the real world , try looking to the future not just the next 5 minutes.
It's good to hear that your male friends have finally come of age; I strongly suggest you do the same.
Encouraging any generation let alone the younger generation to ignore the boring issues, like can I actually afford the loan I am about to sign up to has helped get us ALL in this mess in the first place.
..... And to the lady who phoned earlier to ask if there is a hurricane (recession) on the way, the answer is: "No, there is not a hurricane (recession) on the way". I have heard it all before somewhere.
Bravo Bryony, i think you speak for the vast majority of us. It's become fashionable to speak doom and gloom. Why are they now banging on about the recession of 1980? I am 59 and I don't remember it. 89-91 yes, that was a nightmare, so who ARE these experts?
What we all need is a light hearted diversion. How about taking a lead from the ENRON scandal and put all the senior bankers on trial for their misdeeds? It really is time somebody other than the public paid the price for the mess we are told we're in.
im with you, Bryony. its the blasted politicians banging on about 'doing all we can etc' that really gets my dander up.
they have no experience of running anything, and having told us over the past months how bad things will get they come up with meddling which aint gonna make it better.
ah! that little rant makes me feel better.
We'll shut up about it as much as everyone shut the hell up about "do you know how much my house is worth?" in 2007.
Quid pro quo for the boredom inflicted on us all back then, I'm afraid.
your article qenuinely made me laugh for the first time in quite a while.....thankyou!!
Cheer up Bryony !
I think you just need a big hug....all will be ok.
Invest wisely in gold this year and it may just perk you up!
Hey, Bryony - you know what? If you don't like the articles YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ THEM.
Sheesh...
Sure. At the same time, let's not dwell on, say, the rise of the third reich. ALRIGHT, WE GET IT! Hitler was a bad man and wasn't nice to the jews - ENOUGH already, I'm fed up with hearing about it! Boooooring!
We are living in fascinating times, Bryony. For a start, MANY of us saw this coming and we want to know why we weren't listened to. And this may constitute a unique opportunity for a more just and equitable society to emerge. If we let this thing go as just another news story, the danger is that nothing will change. Failure and injustice was built into the very fabric of the UK as a virtue of its idiotic financial setup.
I mean, I can see how it's tempting to produce this kind of outrageously provocative copy (no, really...), but it's all a bit puerile, don't you think?