This guy's nickname was Moe. He and his computer chip-engineer buddies stood in the hallway at Mandalay Bay, ogling porn starlets as they paraded into the Adult Video News Awards with their hanging-out cabooses in see-through "dresses."
"We're just window shopping," Moe told me Saturday night. "Just burn the image into the ROM portion of the brain."
Moe and friends came to Las Vegas for the Consumer Electronics Show.
They didn't want to cough up $83 to watch porn stars pose for fan photos next door, at the Adult Entertainment Expo in the Sands Expo Center.
I can tell you and Moe what you missed. Basically it looked like a traveling Adult Superstore, but with 5,000 guys sidling up to starlets wearing little.
At one point Saturday, the room thinned, and I went into the hallway to find about 60 guys had left the porn women to watch a playoff football game on TV. The analogy is: The same thing would have happened if women ditched a shoe convention to watch an episode of "Sex and The City."
The obvious trend in adult products: packaging and products that appeal to women and mainstream stores. The UniRam was like a ThighMaster with a toy attached, so a woman can exercise her thighs at the same time she's uh ... though it looked a little intimidating to me.
Prettier was an already successful line of vibrating rubber duckies from a company created by Tony Levine, who once helped create plush toys while working for Mattel. Levine's own Big Teaze Toys company is now adding elegant "vibromasseurs" in simple, perfumelike boxes.
"You can open this in front of grandma," said Pamela McKee, publicist for Big Teaze. "It looks like it could be cologne" inside the box.
One of the few women who attended the expo without performing at it was UNLV's Lynn Comella, an assistant professor in the Women's Studies Department. She scrutinizes women and the sex industry. Comella said some new products come in Apple-like packaging to appeal to women.
"They're part of what I would describe," Comella said, "as a new wave of sex toy entrepreneurs who are really looking to bring elements of quality and sleek design and innovation to the sex toy industry. These are words you don't usually hear in the sex toy industry: sleek design and innovation."
But as Comella pointed out -- and as the porn industry is painfully aware -- porn is in trouble. Web sites are stealing so many porn film scenes and uploading them on free sites that DVD sales have dropped. Recently, Larry Flynt craftily called for a government bailout of the porn industry.
Ron Jeremy, the George Washington of porn, told me religious zealots complain that the Internet is proliferating porn, and yet:
"Meanwhile, the Internet is putting out of business a lot of the businesses they hate."
For example, two guys stood on a sidewalk outside the Sands center and harshly screamed unintelligible stuff about Jesus through a handheld PA system at CES and Adult Entertainment Expo conventioneers.
"Sex does not bring joy!" was about the only sentence I could make out from the Jesus guys. That message was not selling on Saturday.
Anyway, so Moe and his engineering buddies missed out on the expo but trekked over to Mandalay Bay and caught the parade of porn stars heading in and out of the red carpet, which was out of public view. I can tell you and Moe what you missed there, too.
Rapper Flo Rida -- who used to lived on Lake Mead Boulevard in Las Vegas for a few years -- said it was "a dream come true" to perform a craft he loves, on stage with porn stars.
"I brought a couple of my guy friends out from the 'hood, and they definitely don't want to leave," he said.
Dave Navarro of Jane's Addiction posed with a model named Lindsay but bid fond farewell to her, so he could pose with a porn star named Kirsten Price, because Lindsay was apparently so five minutes ago -- literally. Price told someone in the media, "Dave Navarro is like a 25 on a scale of one to 10."
And "VH1" star Flavor Flav acted like a buffoon.
Porn star Penny Flame said it's a falsehood that porn women earn fortunes in films. They pocket more by stripping under star marquees. But Flame -- whose mom is her accountant -- doesn't earn much because she's a "terrible stripper."
"I go around: 'Hey, you want a lap dance?' He's like, 'Oh, I only have a dollar.' I'm like, 'Oh, your life sucks! Let me buy you shots!' You don't make any money like that."
She loves her career, though. From the excitement in her voice and in her eyes when she told me this, plus the offer she made me in jest, I believed her 100 percent.
"If it's not fun, why do it?" she said.
Flame started at 18. At 25, she has had gonorrhea three times -- "not a bad ratio" considering her partner-number, she said -- and she keeps her five previous Adult Video News Awards on a mantle.
"I like to intimidate people when they walk into my house," she said with a big playful smile. "I like them to see how awesome I am."
January 12, 2009 http://www.lvrj.com
Toy Story, the Adult Version
LATELY, Karen Weller has been passing on Starbucks double lattes and dinners on the town. But she could not resist stopping in the other day at Dascha Boudoir Boutique in Washington, to check out the We-Vibe, a compact vibrator, all slippery surfaces and C-shaped curves.
Was it the plaything’s novel design and faintly louche leopard-spot packaging or the shop’s friendly service that induced her to part with $145 — and the last remnants of fiscal restraint? Ms. Weller could not say, offering simply that the vibrator “just seemed an indulgence worth the price.”
Point-and-shoot cameras, CDs and fancy woven handbags may languish on store shelves. But women like Ms. Weller, a nurse from Frederick, Md., are willing to splurge, spending as much as $100 or more for a pulsing rubber duckie or bath sponge, a vibrating bullet or lipstick tube. Their fascination with such battery-operated novelties is rendering luxury sex toys a thriving sector in an otherwise listless economy.
“The Dow may have taken a nose dive, but our sales have only increased,” said Josie Morales, a partner in Their Toys, a nine-month-old Web site with offices near Palm Beach, Fla. Sales, Ms. Morales said, have increased steadily, by about 10 percent a month, since the site was introduced. “The last time we saw a spike in our business was after 9/11,” said Claire Cavanah, a founder of Babeland, a Web site and store in New York that sells erotic paraphernalia. Since last year, sales of gadgets priced at $80 or more have risen by 50 percent, Ms. Cavanah said. “People are looking for stress relief and a little connection.”
Even in a lingering recession, “sex will always sell,” said Analena Graham, an owner of Dascha, where cone-shaped vibrators and jewel-tone fur ticklers are showcased alongside made-to-order corsets and aromatic oils. “You might tell yourself, ‘I can do without that $400 sweater,’ ” Ms. Graham went on, “ ‘but I would still like to have that rechargeable vibrator.’ ”
Also popular are pulsing cigars that turn into pendants, and pearl wrist restraints that double as necklaces. People are paying as much as $250 for similarly kinky designs, said Robyn Goodman, chief of American operations for Myla, a British-owned boutique chain and Web site. “They don’t feel like they’re getting a bit of smut,” Ms. Goodman said. “They feel like they acquiring a very boudoir-style, high-end luxury.”
Certainly luxury sex toys have attained a kind of winking acceptance, their gradual mainstreaming hardly surprising in a society that does not blush at pole-dancing workout videos. Shoppers seem to like the gadgets’ streamlined shapes, their durability and their sometimes lofty pedigrees. (In the last half-dozen years, design-world luminaries like Marc Newson and Tom Dixon have lent their names and engineering skills to an assortment of sleek upscale vibrators.)
Dr. Judy Kuriansky, the sex therapist, suggested that a heightened interest in sensually appealing devices is partly an outgrowth of a troubled economy. When money is tight, some people withdraw from sex, she said, but many others “will do anything to increase the level of closeness and pleasure.”
Sellers maintain that sex trinkets have not been affected by the recession that has hurt other segments of the multitentacled sex entertainment industry. “Business overall is down by 5 percent or more,” said Tony Lovett, the editor and publisher of Adult Video News, a trade publication. “But if consumers are spending their money on anything, they are spending it on a good-looking quality product.”
Just a couple of years ago, manufacturers predicted that there would be never be a market for a $100 sex toy, Mr. Lovett added. “But they’ve been proven wrong.”
And manufacturers today are catering aggressively to caviar tastes. Lelo (pronounced lay-low), a company based in Sweden, is reporting a run on the Gigi, a rose-colored rechargeable vibrator shaped like an overfed spoon ($109), and the Nea ($89), a palm-size massager billed as “full of toe-curling promise,” shaped much like a wireless computer mouse. Sales of such cleverly made items have climbed by 10 percent since June, said Shaye Saldana, a marketing manager for the company.
Style counts, but retailers will tell you, poker-faced, that in These Difficult Times, people buy sex toys for diversion and solace.
“When your world is lurching sideways,” Ms. Cavanah said, “it’s good to go home to a nice bed — and a little intimacy.”
January 9, 2009 http://www.nytimes.com
Carmen Electra loves collecting sex toys
Washington (ANI): Carmen Electra has found a new homemade sex aid wire coat hangers. While the model-cum-actress did not divulge details of how she uses them, she has agreed that she's found a hot new use for hangers.
"A little pleasure, a little pain. It's all about fun," Contactmusic quoted her as saying. The Playboy pin-up revealed that she loves collecting sex toys and visits the world's top boutiques to furnish her stock. She added: "I love going to different sex shops... and collecting the coolest handcuffs and naughtiest lingerie. That's exciting for me."
Electra is currently engaged to rocker Rob Patterson.
January 7, 2009 http://entertainment.oneindia.in
Is this the year of lovin' dangerously?
Petra Joy is an acclaimed female porn producer with titles such as Sensual Seduction under her belt. Her prediction for 2009? Men be warned: the girls are going to get tough.
'We are past fluffy handcuffs now and many women and men are ready to go a few steps further to enjoy more intimacy and even better orgasms, namely 'gender-bending'. Men have always been restricted to being butch and in control and women to being passive and feminine. More women will be wearing strap-ons and a few hunky guys might enjoy dressing up in killer heels. This kind of role play allows you to act out fantasies beyond the restrictions that usually apply to gender roles.'
Cindy Lu, author of The Four Man Plan (£7.99, Vermilion), says men and women will start using dating strategies.
'Have you ever tried to put together a jigsaw puzzle without having the picture on the box as a reference point? That was my love life. When it came to men, I suffered, I chased, I cheated and was cheated on. I stalked, I plotted, I whored around and I failed spectacularly.
One day in my late twenties after yet another devastating break-up it suddenly dawned on me that I truly sucked at love. It was time for my analytical and reasoning mind to take over. I embarked on a mathematical system for dating.
The Four Man Plan teaches a woman how to date (but not jump in the sack with) more than one and up to four or more men at a time. It's structured while organised and still leaves room for romance and fun.
With several men on a gal's dance card her romantic life becomes so much more about her and what she can do to improve her odds of attracting a man who is honest, loving and willing.
What's in it for the men? The Four Man Plan reduces a girl's desire to create instant boyfriends and increases her ability to have fun on dates. Won't it be nice to have fun with a woman who has retracted her husband-hunting claws? And one more thing: Earl, my husband and the result of my Four Man Plan, wants to say: "It works."'
Sarah Hedley, editor of Scarlet magazine and author of Sex By Numbers (Piatikus, £6.99), says the recession will affect our sex lives for the better.
'Couples and singles will be staying in more over the next year, which will lead to more sex and an increase in purchases of sex toys - both Ann Summers and SexToys.co.uk have already noted an increase in sales. Singles may opt for cheaper ways to meet, such as ForgetDinner.co.uk, a website that allows people who wish to sidestep expensive meals to meet and head straight to the real main course: sex.
Fidelity may also be on the up. The workplace has always afforded an opportunity to stray and many unfaithful spouses cite corporate hospitality - particularly anything involving travel - as the cause of their straying.
With companies tightening their belts, there will be fewer oversees trips and corporate knees-ups for staff. Quarrelling couples will be more inclined to stay together when it's financially difficult to set up home alone so break-ups may - temporarily at least - be put on hold. Overall, the recession could prove to be a bit of a blessing for couples.'
January 5, 2008 http://www.metro.co.uk
Best Sex Writing 2009 Interview: Susannah Breslin on Eliot Spitzer and prostitution
My name is Rachel, and I write about sex (among other topics). A lot of my writing is of the erotic variety, but what really gets me off, in the intellectual sense, is smart writing that treats sex with the respect it deserves. To that end, my latest anthology is Best Sex Writing 2009, which collects the best of the last year's writing from blogs, magazines, newspapers and books, about all kinds of sex topics, from purity balls to sex toys in Iraq to rape fantasies and more, by authors such as Tracie Egan, Mary Roach, Violet Blue. The cover's sexy, but the writing inside is meant to provoke your biggest sex organ--your brain--rather than arouse you. It's for sex nerds and those who want to learn more about the topic of sex from new angles. I had a great amount of helping in shaping the collection from guest judge Brian Alexander, who writes a sex column for MSNBC. I'll be posting a series of interviews here and on the Best Sex Writing 2009 blog (you can read the introduction to the book here) with the contributors to flesh out their pieces and give some insight into their writing process.
Today's interview is with Susannah Breslin, who writes for Slate's The XX Factor, blogs at her own Reverse Cowgirl, among many other things (including being my dating column editor at The Frisky). She discusses why men hire sex workers, the media reaction to the Spitzer scandal, and why the personal stories of sex workers and their customers are important.
What made you first become interested in the topics of porn and prostitution, and specifically the perspective of johns? How did your site Letters from Johns evolved?
I've been writing about sex industries for over a decade, since I visited a porn set in late 1997. The interest in john stories came to me on a whim. There were a fair amount of sex worker stories out there, but not a lot of stories about why men pay for sex. I put out a call on my blog for letters from johns, and the letters started coming.
Were you surprised by the Eliot Spitzer scandal? Are there certain characteristics you've found of johns that make it more likely they'll be powerful men?
I wasn't very surprised by the Spitzer scandal; although, I don't know that powerful men are any more likely to pay for sex than other men. It certainly makes sense that someone with a lot of power and money would see less of a "problem" with using money and power to score sex. Many powerful men lead complicated, demanding lives, and sex workers can provide men who can afford it with a respite: uncomplicated sexual release.
In your Newsweek piece you quote a man who tells you, "I find the idea of paying for sexual acts to be erotic." Why do you think that is? Is it at all related to the way consumers are more likely to value a product that's priced higher?
Frankly, I don't fully understand why some men find paying for sex to be erotic. I know I don't. But I'm a woman. Paying for sex allows men to behave sexually ruthless in a way they might not allow themselves to do otherwise. Some men feel more free to ask sex workers to perform sex acts that the men may not be getting at home: oral, anal, BDSM. Most men worry about female sexual pleasure and having sex with a sex worker can be a pleasurably narcissistic act. They don't have to "worry" about a sex worker's sexual needs in the same way that they may feel consciously or unconsciously compelled to do so with their wives or girlfriends.
You also say, "The fake letters are for the most part easy to identify; they lack detail--and frequently end with scenes in which the sex worker returns the money because the sex was so good." Do many johns have a rescue fantasy about the women they hire? I'm reading this book America Anonymous in which a 20-year-old straight male sex addict winds up hanging out with an escort he had hired, thinking they're going to have a relationship.
Some of the johns I've heard from have rescue fantasies--or romantic fantasies. I've gotten more than a few letters from johns who "fall in love" with sex workers. They're pretty sad. Most of the men are aware the relationship is primarily financially motivated on the woman's part, but these men seem unable to stop themselves from continuing to fantasize that they are in love with the women, even when it's quite clear those feeling are not reciprocated. I don't think any of those stories had a happy ending.
How have the letters you've gotten to Letters from John changed post-Spitzer?
The letters were the same before and after Spitzer; the only difference is the Spitzer story brought johns and sex workers to the fore and opened up the public dialogue. So I got more letters every time the story resurfaced in the news. I'm sure many men "find themselves" in Spitzer.
You're also editing the site Letters from Working Girls. How is that going and what are the most common types of stories you're seeing?
Letters from working girls are few and far between--for a few reasons. Because it's less socially acceptable to be a sex worker than to be a john. Because sex workers are more concerned about getting busted than their customers. Because working girls are too busy living "the life" to sit around writing letters about it.
Collectively, what do you think the two sites say about prostitution in America?
The sites speak about why men pay for sex and why women become sex workers. The reasons are legion. They're lonely, oversexed, desperate, looking for something, curious, adventurous, emotionally in need, horny, bored. There's no "one answer" in sex industries, and I would hope that these stories serve as a testament to that and underscore that black and white debates over sex work serve no one and only perpetuate a fantasy that certain kinds of men pay for sex and certain kinds of women become sex workers. The guy you work with pays for sex, and the girl next door sells it. If you see yourself in these stories, the players gets humanized, rather than stigmatized.
What did you think of the mainstream media coverage of the Spitzer scandal? How could it have been improved?
The coverage of Spitzergate was copious and rife with "othering." Oooh, that guy did something really bad! But it's a story I hear all the time. Why are we acting so shocked and outraged? What exactly do you think rich and powerful men are doing with all their money and their power? Playing checkers?
Are you in favor of legalizing prostitution? Do you think some of the appeal of paying for sex would dissipate if prostitution were legalized?
I don't have a stance one way or another regarding the legalization of prostitution. There are pros and cons to both sides. I'm more interested in the personal stories than the laws.
What are you working on next?
Right now, I'm working on a novel based on my experiences in Porn Valley.
December 31, 2008 http://www.huffingtonpost.com
DVD Review: Passion & Power: The Technology of Orgasm
Revealing, informative and certainly worthy of the documentary treatment, “Passion & Power” certainly communicates its point and offers up many amusing anecdotes and informative tidbits but is a little too smug, condescending and aesthetically annoying to be considered a success. This stems from an over-explanation of relatively simple concepts, such as terminology and women’s liberation, along with detailed elucidations of antiquated injustices without a great deal of contextual relevance or exploration of historical ideologues. In addition, the scrapbook aesthetic with candid angles overlapping vaginal-motif wallpaper is not particularly pleasant to watch and does little to elaborate on an already obvious narrative.
Based on Rachel Maines’ bestselling book “The Technology of Orgasm”, “Passion & Power” examines the history of the vibrator in relation to the evolution of the understanding of the female orgasm. In broad strokes, the vibrator was a common cure for the illness of hysteria, which itself was essentially an ignorant euphemism for horniness. Much discussion involves doctor’s masturbating women to cure them from hysteria, which was all perfectly acceptable until the advent of celluloid depicted women using vibrators for sexual purposes, thus putting an end to their public appeal and acceptance.
Brands and models of vibrators are discussed, along with the women’s liberation movement of the sixties, individual clitoral revelations and some peculiar modern laws surrounding the use and procurement of vibrators.
Anyone curious about the subject matter should find the documentary useful and interesting, while militant feminists might appreciate the doc on a different level, appreciating wholeheartedly the complacent manner in which the information is communicated.
Included with the DVD are an additional 22-minutes of interview segments, which are mostly personal back-stories and a couple of stories about vibrator purchasing and usage, along with some information about the filmmakers, a dancing vibrators trailer, more views of antique vibrators and a brief “making of”.
While an effective marketing strategy, the dancing vibrator trailer gives a very different impression of the documentary than is the reality. In addition, the filmed re-enactment, as shown in the “making of”, probably was not necessary for the sake of the film, and truthfully seems somewhat out of place.
http://www.the-trades.com December 30, 2008
Sex and seniors no longer forbidden topic
I bring New Year's tidings of great joy to aging boomers and anyone nearing 50: Age does not diminish your sex life! In fact, sex just gets better and better providing you are bedded with the one you love.
Now, let me assure you this is definitely the last column about sex this year. In fact, it's the last column about sex for some months because every time I write about it, I get clogged with e-mails that tell me more about anyone's sex life than I ever want to know.
A stunning 93 of you responded to my last column about sex, which followed the first one asking whatever happened to senior sex? A Texas pastor who encouraged his congregation to have sex every day for a week (provided they were married, of course) counseled it would improve marital intimacy and be a great intimacy lesson for children.
But what happens when the children leave?
The first batch of responses I received came primarily from people doing it outside marriage. When I was a kid, we called it adultery. Or from bitter, unsatisfied seniors who aren't getting any — or enough — of it.
Don't seniors ever do it? I asked.
Well, 93 of you say you do — some in stunning detail. And many of my e-mails were from men, some writing three or more pages about all types of love, from Christian to binge sex (three or four times a week).
My favorite — I'm entitled to one — is from a couple who are working on her 30-minute orgasm. Her husband says that is his goal. To give his wife 30 minutes of unrelenting oooooooohs! (He's married; you can't have his e-mail.)
Why didn't I hear early-on from the happily sexy marrieds?
Roger Stout in Arizona suggests it has to do with a concept Jesus outlined in Matthew 7:6, which reads (in the New International Version): "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces."
Stout is a youthful 52. His lengthy marriage carries a great truth. He talks about the Hebrew term "to know" a man or woman. "Thirty years ago, we didn't think it would be possible to love each any more than we did — yet looking back, we realize it's happened," he writes. " Love-making used to be exciting and now it's focused on spiritual connectedness. I often tell my wife that heaven is going to have to be an incredibly great place, because I can't imagine anything better than making love to her."
Wait! There's more to marriage than sex, writes a great-grandmother, 72, speaking for the Grapevine Seniors Club. "There's love, honor, trust and respect," says Sara Dost, the Texas grandmother. She calls the Texas pastor "Pastor Fruitcake" and says he should "take a hike."
Communication is the key to great sex, many say. Men as well as women.
Along with communication, there are suggestions for oil massages, a few "sex toys" and, some of the older fellas admit, a little help from a friend like Cialis.
"I do use Cialis, mainly for the planned times," writes an OC man, 71. "This I consider merely an aid, since my body has changed since I was a 20-year-old. This old body needs a little help with a few things now and then."
Of course, there has to be the happily married couple (he's 57 and she's 65) who have a list of why some couples are sexless. The list includes partners who are overweight, unattractive; too conservative or too religious; take too many prescription drugs and are depressed; are too involved with children's lives; are not physically active; watch too much TV.
Good sex is for everyone, says a 50-something couple. Good sex helped this couple bond and break through the fear when he developed throat cancer a few years ago. They sometimes smoke a little pot, rediscovered from their youth, to enhance the experience (not for everyone, they acknowledge). They stay healthy and connected in mind and emotion.
Now — if you are married — try this as a New Year's resolution:
An Orange County couple in their 50s had a few health scares and decided life is too short, they would make love every day for a year. That was a year ago.
"The amazing part is that in one year's time there are some things hard to escape, like two colonscopies, peri-menopause, routine fights, sick days and even a business trip overseas. (they 'banked' future encounters for vacation time)," the husband writes. "We're secretly proud of ourselves … our kids would die if word got to them."
Good news for the happily married. And kids, don't be embarrassed. Be proud of the love, commitment, joy and bonding your parents offer you as a gift to emulate.
Thanks to all of you for sharing. You'll understand why I didn't use the e-mails with lengthy descriptions of sex toys, bonding, porno films. Whatever works for you but not for general consumption.
December 29, 2008 http://www.ocregister.com/
Sex And Recession
The cash-strapped masses may be spending less on restaurants and entertainment, but not necessarily on the quality of their sex lives--and manufacturers of sexual aids are broadening their lines to meet the demand.
To wit: Trojan now offers a condom that comes with a disposable vibrating ring. Durex, another condom maker, sells a vibrator and a line of lubricants. Even Philips Electronics (nyse: PHG - news - people ) has joined competitor Hitachi (nyse: HIT - news - people ) in the vibrator business. "We're much more open now to experimenting sexually," says Louis Friedman, chief executive of Liberator, a maker of sex toys in Atlanta. "We’re seeing countless new products being sold to a much larger audience than people realized. Even the more conservative retailers have begun to come around."
Indeed, Wal-Mart (nyse: WMT - news - people ), Walgreen (nyse: WAG - news - people ) and Target (nyse: TGT - news - people ) now peddle sexual aids, including condoms, lubricants and personal massagers. Walgreen's Web site features a "sexual wellness" tab, behind which are listed not only contraceptives and fertility tests, but also pleasure-enhancing dietary supplements, romance-themed costumes and games, massage oils and lotions, and the "Emotional Bliss Femblossom" vibrator. (Representatives from Walgreen's and Target were unavailable for comment; a Wal-Mart communications manager would say only that the chain "has a diverse mix of shoppers who visit our stores each day, and we are committed to providing customers with the selection of products they expect to find in our stores.")
In Pictures: The Mainstreaming of the Sex Industry
Poor as we all may feel lately, it seems there's at least one bright spot in having to hunker down at home. "This industry is shielded in a way," says Katy Zvolerin, director of public relations with Adam & Eve, another sex toy maker. "It does seem people use us even more heavily in bad times." (Not that there's much of a correlation between recessions and birth rates--if people have more sex during a recession, they are being careful about it.)
Chad Braverman, director of product development and licensing at Doc Johnson, takes a more sober approach to the coming months. "I don't know if I'd say our industry was 'recession-proof,'" he says. "We need to be proactive in creating a quality product that's going to sell. And there's a lot more competition than there was 20 years ago."
The sex industry traces back to 500 B.C., when traders from the Greek port of Miletus sold olisbos, an early version of the dildo. Today, the business of sex (including pornography) now runs into the tens of billions of dollars. (No official estimates are available; Wall Street analysts don't tend to track this stuff.) And while print and video sales are ebbing, as more free adult content has become available online, sales of un-reproducible sexual aids are still healthy.
"Of course, there's concern about the economy, but right now our sales are growing," says Michael Trygstad, founder of Wet, a lubricant manufacturer in Van Nuys, Calif. "We've grown 30% this year alone. We've had to completely automate our factories to meet the tremendous demand. People are deciding to stay at home and engage in inexpensive entertainment.''
Slick marketing--and the ability to shop anonymously online--helps, too. Liberator markets itself as "relationship care," and advertises in mainstream magazines such as Men's Health, Rolling Stone and AARP The Magazine; the brand also has prominent placement on Walgreens.com. Meanwhile, K-Y (which sells its lubricants at Target and Rite-Aid) is playing the intimacy card with a line called Yours+Mine. And Babeland, a retail store in Brooklyn, N.Y., offers instructional sex seminars for new mothers, as well as an in-store diaper-changing station.
"The emphasis has gone from family planning to sexual well-being," says Friedman. "It used to be that you had to go in and give a wink to the pharmacist, who would open a drawer behind the counter, put the condoms in a brown paper bag and slide them over to you without a word. It took AIDS to really bring condoms out into the open with a sense of urgency. And now the fun is coming back."
Subtly packaged fun, that is. "We're seeing a shift to women's products and a change in packaging," says Erica Heathmann, managing editor of AVN Novelty Business. "Gone are the porn stars of old. Today's products have a more classic, clean aesthetic."
When it comes to marketing sexual aids, one person's vibrator is another's "personal massager." Says Adam and Eve's Zvolerin: "The same massager we sell in our catalog is available at CVS (nyse: CVS - news - people ). It has a different label, which says it's to relieve sore muscles, aches and pains, but that's my massager!"
And just as farmers and grocers are able to charge more for organic apples, so, too, are sex-toy makers grabbing customers with health-conscious pitches, such as sexual aids that are "phalate-free." (Phalates, often used in plastics, have been tenuously linked to certain kinds of cancer.)
Who needs fancy packaging and marketing mumbo jumbo when you can get killer product placement? When the Charlotte character on Sex and the City waxed on about her Rabbit vibrator, sales of that item went through the roof. But, then, that episode aired 10 years ago, during the raging technology boom--an arguably much sexier era.
"We've weathered storms before," says Ann Semans, director of Babeland, a sex toy retailer. "It's not like we're selling flat-screen TVs and convertibles--almost everything is under $100." Babeland goes so far as to group certain items under the banner of "Affordable Luxury."
Says Semans: "If that isn't an inalienable freedom, I don't know what is."
December 23, 2008 http://www.forbes.com
Obama's AG Pick Has Anti-Porn Past
WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to Reuters, President-Elect Barack Obama has conditionally offered the post of Attorney General of the United States to Eric Holder, a 57-year-old former Deputy Attorney General who served during the Clinton-era reign of Attorney General Janet Reno.
While Holder will have to undergo an extensive vetting process before officially being offered the job, he has already generated concern in the adult industry over a decade-old memo he wrote on the topic of obscenity prosecutions.
Addressed to all 94 United States Attorneys on June 10, 1998, the memo was titled "Prosecutions Under the Federal Obscenity Statutes". Adult industry attorneys have since referred to it as "The Holder Memo."
"As you are aware," Holder wrote, "within the past few years there has been increasing concern about the distribution of obscenity and child pornography both by traditional purveyors of "adult material" and in particular by those who distribute such material over the Internet. As a result of this unprecedented growth, I wish to remind you of the Department's policies and priorities in the prosecution of federal obscenity cases... Thus, priority should be given to cases involving large-scale distributors who realize substantial income from multistate operations and cases in which there is evidence of organized crime involvement. However, prosecution of cases involving relatively small distributors can have a deterrent effect and would dispel any notion that obscenity distributors are insulated from prosecution if their operations fail to exceed a predetermined size or if they fragment their business into small-scale operations... In particular, priority also should be given to large-scale distributors of obscenity over the Internet. Because of the nature of the Internet and the availability of agents trained in conducting criminal investigations in cyberspace, investigation and prosecution of Internet obscenity is particularly suitable for federal resources."
Perhaps even more troubling is a letter Holder wrote to Morality In Media founder Paul McGeady on July 2, 1998, which references a meeting apparently attended by Holder, McGeady and representatives of various religio-conservative pro-censorship groups:
"I appreciated having the opportunity to meet with you recently to discuss the prosecution of obscenity cases," Holder wrote. "Your commitment to this important issue is commendable, and I fully share your concerns about the distribution of obscenity and child pornography, whether it is over the Internet or by more traditional purveyors of such material. I encourage you, and the other organizations with whom I met, to continue working closely with the Child Exploitation and Obscenity Section of the Department of Justice as we work aggressively to address this troubling problem. Based on the many insightful comments and observations made by representatives of the various groups who attended our recent meeting, I determined that it was appropriate for me to send a memorandum to all United States Attorneys reminding them of the Department's policies."
Holder's stance on obscenity drew comments from First Amendment attorney and AVN columnist Clyde DeWitt, who dealt with the "Holder Memo" in his column for AVN's September, 1998 issue ("Federal Obscenity Prosecutions in General, and the Internet in Particular".) DeWitt referenced Holder's stance that U.S. Attorneys should follow the United States Attorneys' Manual, which at that time still suggested that adult companies could be targeted using a "multiple-prosecution strategy," where a single company could be indicted in multiple jurisdictions, forcing that company to expend vast resources defending itself, which might bankrupt the company - exactly as the Justice Department intended the tactic to accomplish.
"Perhaps most shocked by the article was Adam & Eve owner Phil Harvey, who had undertaken tireless efforts to have the multiple-prosecution policies of the Department of Justice ruled unconstitutional," DeWitt later wrote. "Indeed, during the course of the wind-up of the very successful PHE, Inc. v. United States Department of Justice case, Phil's company received a promise from the Department of Justice at a November, 1993 hearing that, according to Assistant United States Attorney Thomas Millet, it was anticipated that 'within the near future,' the Department policy would be changed so as to 'no longer encourage multiple prosecutions in obscenity cases.' Accordingly, Phil was to say the least alarmed to find the old policies still in effect."
"I wrote the first article — this was '97, '98 — just generally to inform the newly-emerging Internet community, who didn't remember obscenity prosecutions, of what they were and that it's out there and it's serious," DeWitt recalled. "I mentioned the multiple prosecution strategy, and Phil Harvey called me up or faxed me or something and said, 'What the hell is this? They changed that because of my lawsuit.' I said, 'No, they didn't. here's what it says presently,' and he said, 'Well, that's exactly what it said before!'"
Indeed, the U.S. Attorneys' Manual was not changed until June of '98, just after Holder wrote his memorandum - and that change came at the insistence of Harvey, who contacted the Justice Department to demand that it fulfill its promise.
Since his service under Reno, Holder has worked as an attorney at Covington & Burling, a very politically-oriented law firm in D.C. where, in 2004, according to Wikipedia, Holder "helped negotiate an agreement with the Justice Department for Chiquita Brands International in a case that involved Chiquita's payment of 'protection money' to the United Self-Defense Forces of Colombia, a paramilitary group that has been designated a terrorist group by the United States government. In the agreement, Chiquita's officials pleaded guilty and paid a fine of $25 million."
Various conservative websites have also pointed out that as President Bill Clinton was leaving office, and had asked the Justice Department to assess the merits of giving presidential pardons to various applicants, Holder gave a "neutral, leaning towards favorable" opinion of the pardon of fugitive financier Marc Rich - a pardon that has dogged Clinton (and now Holder) since the Republicans took over both Congress and the presidency with the 2000 election.
Holder has not spoken publicly about his current feelings regarding obscenity prosecution since his days at Justice, so hopefully that topic will be broached during Holder's Senate confirmation hearings, and/or by the major news media who may conduct their own "vetting" process.
December 22, 2008 http://avn.com/
Sex Toys for XXXmas
Dear Sparky and Snarky,
Are sex toys appropriate holiday gifts? What's the protocol for giving them?
-Gettin' Jiggy with the Gifties
Dear Jiggy,
Sex toys are appropriate anytime gifts, provided you know the recipient well enough. Are you having sex with this person? If so, it's probably okay to get him or her something from the local adult boutique (I personally recommend Passional on 5th Street if you're in Philly). The key is knowing what exactly to get. If your bed buddy already has a collection of sexual accoutrements, get something new and different for the two of you to play with together. If his or her bedside drawer is woefully empty, start with something basic like a vibrator. Remember, silicon, glass and metal toys can be sterilized. Cheap jelly crap cannot. Don't be a scrooge—if you're going this route for xxxmas, spring for the good stuff. And whatever you do, don't wrap this up and put it under the Christmas tree, Hanukkah bush or Festivus pole if your in-laws are spending the holiday with you. No amount of spiked eggnog will prepare your lover's mother for that.
xo, Snarky
Well, Jiggy, seeing as I have a big bag full of great kinky gifts, I really hope it's appropriate!
(Another hint on where to get stuff locally, folks—you can WIN sex toys at Kinky Quizzo. Other cities just aren't as rad as Philly; Kinky Quizzo is a homegrown phenomena and my favorite date/location is Tuesday nights at Valanni's.)
Snarky's pretty spot-on concerning whom to give to, when and how, but let me just make a few quick points:
1) Sex toys are also completely appropriate between friends, not just people you're hopping in the sack with. If you're good friends and you talk sex, then you should feel free to give tools for sexual enhancement. Some people don't buy good stuff for themselves, so help them out!
2) Remember the disappointment of getting an awesome toy that took batteries, but there were no batteries in it? Friends don't give friends sex toys without lube and batteries, got it?
3) I would like a Violet Wand. I'm just saying.
Sparky!
Got questions about sex, dating, or relationships? Then we've got answers, whether you like them or not. Send your short but informative queries, complete with clever signatures, to sparkyandsnarky@phillyist.com and wait for the magic to happen.
December 19, 2008
http://phillyist.com/
New “The Joy of Sex”
“The Joy of Sex” was probably the first sex book I ever heard of. I remember being in third or fourth grade and my friend Kim and I finding a copy on her parents’ bookshelf.
That was the 1980s. Now “The Joy of Sex” is back, updated and revised.
This reinvention has been carried out by Susan Quilliam, a British sexologist. The result keeps original author Alex Comfort’s values and style, but offers a female voice to the original male-oriented text, as well as making additions and revisions to reflect the new developments in our knowledge of physiology, psychology and the social climate over the past 37 years.
This new edition also includes research on the female orgasm, a modern look at the use of sex toys and practices that were previously considered too outrageous to admit to, as well as the treatment of modern worries such as the pressure to have sex, regret about having had it, self-esteem issues and STDs.
“Th Joy of Sex” emphasizes the importance of happy and relaxed sexuality. It will be available in bookstores and online starting January 6.
December 18, 2008 http://blogs.timesunion.com
Doin’ It With Dr. V: All About Dildos And Vibrators
Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily lead me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. Now, let’s get this party started…
Dildos and vibrators (a dildo with a battery operated massage element) are made for faux-penis fun! Reportedly 44% of women have toyed around with one. Surprisingly enough, 78% of those women with a B.O.B. (Battery Operated Boyfriend) are in a relationship. In fact, these adult playthings are known to help women orgasm with their sexual partners. Here’s how to make sure you’re getting the most bang for your buck when buying yourself or that special someone the gift that keeps on giving…
HOW IT HAPPENED TO ME
For my 18th birthday, all my friends decided to pool their money and get me something I could finally purchase—a vibrator! Unfortunately, as teens with mall job salaries, all they could generously afford was a jelly rabbit. While it gave me my first mind-blowing orgasm, it was sadly not so good for my lady parts because of the crappy materials it was made of. Sigh...but it definitely took my self-love to a whole new level of satisfaction.
WHO’S TO BLAME
Who keeps us in the dark about sex toy safety? It’s not the manufacturers. Sadly, it’s the close-minded U.S. Government! They refuse to regulate, examine, or test sex toys, so adult toy makers are able to get away with selling toxic junk without anyone looking over their shoulder. Worse yet, the makers are completely able to shrink from responsibility because the government forces them to market their goods as “novelties” or even “medical devices”—ha! My grandma would probably love it if she could get a dildo from Medicaid. But all jokes aside, in America, private businesses like Babeland and organizations like The Coalition Against Toxic Toys are working to help educate consumers. Hallelujah!
SIGNS
The number one sign a toy is toxic is the smell. Overall, if you can smell it, the toy stinks! The odor you sniff out is caused by a release of chemicals which, if you put the toy into your crotch, will release all up in your business. That’s no good…on it’s own. But if you cover that lil’ stinker with a condom every time you use it and in between partners, you’ll be okay. So, if you do want to save some cash and by a cheaper toy made of noxious materials, that’s fine so long as you wrap it up with a love glove.
WHAT TO DO
Read the box! It’s as simple as that. Find out what your toy is made of. The #1 thing to look out for is phthalates. Tough word to spell, but it’s a sign that the product will easily deteriorate. Basically, phthalates take PVC plastic (the stuff pipes are made of) and soften it up to be used in cushier toys. Unfortunately, phthalates are sorta like 18-year-olds. Since they aren’t chemically bound to their PVC parent, they break free and get lost. So, your toy has a short shelf life and will last no more than a couple of years—and, again, you should use a condom with any toy containing phthalates. According to the Danish Environmental Protection Agency, unless you’re pregnant or nursing, you can be exposed to phthalates for up to an hour a day without repercussion. You can read their full report here.
Here are some common material options with their pros and cons:
Jelly
# Typically translucent, colorful and cheap.
# This material is super porous so there’s no way to keep it sterile. Be sure to wash it with mild soap and water.
# Always use a condom with these toys because who knows what the heck they’re really made of! Plus, since they can’t be sanitized completely, bacteria can live on then, so, you want to give yourself a latex line of defense!
# Silicon-based lube can cause the toy to melt, so use only water-based lubes.
# Latex Extremely porous, so again, be sure to use a condom with these toys—especially if you’re thinking about sharing.
# Clean your latex toys with mild soap and water.
# Unfortunately, some people are allergic to this material and it can cause reactions like anaphylactic shock.
# Cyberskin Feels amazingly like real skin, but the name may vary. Futurotic, Ultra-Realistic, Soft Skin are others you may come across, but it’s all the same kind of material.
# In addition to being extra porous, this material tears easily and often gets discolored or dirty looking.
# To keep this kind of toy in tip-top shape, powder it with cornstarch. Don’t use talcum powder because it has been fingered as a potential cause of ovarian cancer.
# Only use soap and water to clean a cyberskin toy.
# Made from thermal plastic, these toys can warm up with skin contact.
# As for lube, you should only use water-based types.
# Always use a condom with cyberskin since you can’t sanitize this kind of material.
# Elastomer Elastomer is phthalate free and hypoallergenic, yet soft.
# However, it is porous, so make sure you use condoms with this material.
# Rinse it off with soap and water.
# Hard Plastic Since plastic isn’t porous it can be completely sanitized. To keep this toy clean, wipe it down with alcohol.
# Usually a good material for clit vibes, it can be a little tough for in and out action.
# Pyrex a.k.a. Glass Pyrex is the name for any hypoallergenic, heat and chemical resistant glass. It will not break! It might crack, but it will never ever hurt you. You can ride this bull as rough as you want!
# Pyrex is non-porous so you can completely disinfect this toy by boiling it (see below), washing it with soap and water, or by rubbing it down with alcohol.
# Warning: be on the look out for painted glass toys. If the color is trapped in layers of glass, that’s totally fine. However, if there’s a coat of color on the outside, what you have is a toy covered in toxic paint.
# It takes a master glass craftsman to make this kind of sexy stick, so they’re expensive.
# An awesome feature of Pyrex toys is the ability to play with temperature—heat things up or cool them down. Now, do NOT freeze this toy because it might stick to your skin like a kid licking a pole in winter. If you want to chill it out, put it in a bowl of ice water for a half an hour. To get it even hotter than it already is, don’t drop it into a boiling pot of water because it will crack. You have to gradually raise the temperature. First, immerse it in warm tap water. After five minutes replace two-thirds of the water in the bowl with boiling water and then let it sit for 20 minutes. ALWAYS do a touch test to make sure the toys temperature is safe for your sensitive parts.
# Silicone Silicone is non-porous and durable. So you can sanitize it by easily tossing it in the dishwasher or boiling it.
# Check the label, some silicone toys aren’t 100% silicone. So again, use your nose and sniff things out with a smell test and also, read the packaging to make sure it’s food or medical grade.
# Silicone carries vibrations oh-oh-so well.
# A lot of silicone toys are hand-crafted.
# This type of rocket for your pocket was invented in the ‘80s—just like the space shuttle.
# Silicone warms up to the body. Bonus!
WHERE I WENT WRONG
I once cut myself off from my vibe because I thought it would force me to do a better job of going out to meet men. Well, who wants to walk around horny, waiting for someone to take the bait? I don’t know what I was thinking. Prince Charming wasn’t just going to waltz into my life because I stopped masturbating. After a couple weeks of sexual starvation, I woke up and realized solely depending on a man is always a dumb idea. We’ve got to be independent ladies!
TIME TABLE
You can screw Pyrex/glass sex toys for as long as you’d hump your husband—forever, ‘til death do you part! Other sex toys may not last so long, but hey, get it while the getting is good. As far as day-to-day use, knock yourself out! It is a total myth that you can desensitize any of your ladybits with a vibrator. In actuality, it helps women get off!
EMBARRASSMENT FACTOR
Depends on how stodgy you are. There’s no shame in ownership, women have been using them since the Stone Ages. If you’re Dr. V, you might keep it discreet by storing it in a satin bag in a drawer. A lot of people choose to order toys online and many places ship in discreet packaging. Heck, even Amazon sells ‘em!
Now as far a whipping a fake phallus out, well, I’d talk to a partner about it before you go bringing out the big guns. Although, I must admit, my hottest interaction with a dildo was when a guy surprised me. In general, you should always ask a partner what they’re into. It takes a lot of the guesswork out of sex and opens up communication in the relationship.
TIPS
1. Sharing Is Caring: If you are going to use your toy on multiple partners, it’s a good idea to wrap it in a condom for each person. This way, you won’t have to worry about sterilization in the heat of the moment and some toys aren’t able to be disinfected because they’re porous. Even if you are just using the toy yourself, bacteria lives in those holes. So, make sure you still use a condom. Safety first!
2. Clean Jean: Always clean your toys between uses.
3. Water Tight: Since vibrators run on batteries, there is NO risk of electric shock. However, you should only take special toys, made explicitly to be waterproof, swimming with you.
4. Lube Job: Check the kinds of lube you can use with your vibrator. In some reported cases, lubes have melted toys. Make sure your lube and toy are compatible.
5. Yummy: You should buy sex toys that are made of medical or food grade substances so it’s safe for your sexy bits and also hypoallergenic. After all, who wants to have a bad reaction to their new toy?
SEXY TIMES
You want to finish yourself off? He can’t get it up? You want to screw him up the butt? There are a lot of awesome reasons to use dildos and vibrators! While it may seem like you might insult the guy who can’t get a hard on by simply replacing him with your toy, it’s just not the case. In my own experiences, I’ve found men really enjoy watching women masturbate—especially when you put on a show! So, if you’re in good company, don’t be shy!
FUNKY FACTS
1. The band Steely Dan named themselves after a dildo in William Burroughs’ beat masterpiece “Naked Lunch.”
2. It’s hypothesized that the word “dildo” comes from the Latin word meaning “open wide.”
3. Seven bronze-cast dildos were uncovered in a tomb that dates back 12,000 years to the Han Dynasty in Xian, China. Since the toys were so beautifully made, it is speculated that there were dildo craftsmen back in the day.
4. At the turn of the century, the widely used Sears Roebuck catalog featured massagers and called them “devices for tension and female anxiety.”
5. In 2007, California followed the European Union’s lead and became the first state to ban phthalates from children’s toys. Senator Dianne Feinstein and Representative Hilda Solis have introduced a similar Federal bill.
December 16, 2008 http://www.thefrisky.com
Sales of China-made naughty, not nice, toys booming
China's embattled toy industry may be facing cutbacks and factory closings but the country's sex toy sector is booming, according to vendors at an adult trade show in Macao.
More than 3,500 toy factories — representing 52 per cent of the companies that make toys for children — have gone bankrupt as China's manufacturing industry struggles to improve its image following a series of massive worldwide product recalls.
But none of China's 400 adult toy companies — which produce more than 70 per cent of the world's sex toys — has shut down operations. The sex toy industry is valued at $7 billion.
Chris Shaw, a spokesman for Empowered Products which sells personal lubricant, says his industry is not suffering like others are in the economic downturn.
"For our kind of products — if people are not going on vacation, if they're staying home, if they're trying to find other things to do to entertain themselves versus spending money — people are buying sex products and lubricants because that's an easy, cheap way for them to have maybe like a staycation and enjoy themselves like a couple would," Shaw told CBC News' Anthony Germain.
"It's a lot easier to spend $10 or $12 on a sexual aid and entertain yourself and have fun at home," he said.
Similarly, LECO Health Equipment reports that they're continuing to sell their sex toy products to companies in Europe and the U.S.
"Our customers, our distributors in other countries tell me that the sex industry is not influenced by the economical problem," said Li, a LECO representative.
Oscar Hainer, a representative with the Dutch-based Shotz Media, said demand has largely been spurred by a growing acceptance of sex toys in western markets.
"You can walk in, buy a lingerie set and buy also a vibrator, and it's not any more a dark sex shop where you have to go in behind closed windows and [be] ashamed [of] yourself when you walk out," he said.
"Maybe it's started in Holland, I don't know, but we are trying to spread that all over the world, so Canada be ready," he said.
December 16, 2008 http://www.cbc.ca
Introducing Sex Toys into your Relationship
1. Sex toys help you to have better orgasms, and in some cases help you to have orgasms.
2. At some point in a relationship both parties get bored with their sex life, introducing sex toys brings a new element of fun to it and sharing new experiences together can only help enhance your relationship and bring more intimacy between you.
3. Sex toys can also help you to have better sex.
Whilst the above comments would be enough to convince some people, others will need a little more convincing. Before going out and buying a sex toy to use within your relationship it's always better to sit down with your partner beforehand to discuss how each other feels about this new idea. You should always gardening supply your partners concerns with respect, and be prepared to deal with feelings such as inadequacy, emotional discomfort and ignorance. With all things in relationships, it's always best to discuss things through and listen to each others points of view.
While sex toys are commonly used for solo sex, many couples enjoy using sex toys together. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your relationship, quite the opposite in fact. Usually it means both people are open-minded, intimate and trusting of their partner.
Once you are comfortable about bringing sex toys into the relationship, just remember a few basic tips.
Start slow. Try a nice, simple small dildo or vibrator. Once your partner is used to the toy, you can always try something else.
Be gentle. Your partner may like it on the rough side, but hold back a little for the first few times you play with vibrators or dildos. There's plenty of time to up the pace later.
Talk to your partner. They may have agreed to use the toy, but that doesn't mean your lover is 100% comfortable with the idea. Talk your way through the experience. Ask your partner if what you are doing together feels good. If it doesn't, try something else.
Use lubrication. Sex toys need lots of lube to slip and slide the way they should.
Be flexible. The toy you've selected might turn out to be something totally different to what you were expecting. Don't worry, put it aside and try something different.
Be patient. Your partner may agree to play with the toy, and then change their mind half way through the experience. Be patient and try again another time. It might take time, but it will be worth the wait.
December 15, 2008 http://www.meadowfreepress.com
Two-way adult sex toy tops Christmas wish lists
OTTAWA, Dec. 11 /PRNewswire/ - The We-Vibe, the world's first dual sex toy
used while making love, is creating a lot of buzz and generating plenty of
heat this holiday season.
Top toy in North American and U.K. adult novelty markets, the We-Vibe is
an ideal stocking stuffer for that special someone in your life.
Love Honey, a top website in Britain, says the We-Vibe ranked # 1 on 5,000
wish lists and called the tiny device "the ultimate couple's vibe and a smash
hit success with both men and women."
Josey Vogels of My Messy Bedroom asked several independent Canadian sex
stores for their sex toys picks for 2008, the We-Vibe came out on top.
The We-Vibe, which was launched in early 2008, provides women with both
internal and external stimulation while making love. The purple, medical-grade
silicone toy boasts innovative features not currently available anywhere else
in the industry. Unlike typical toys that replace the man, the We-Vibe is worn
by women for dual vibrations during intercourse - strapless and hands-free,
G-spot and clitoral stimulations. Men love it, too!
Elegant and discreet in size, the "C" shape We-Vibe is rechargeable, runs
two hours, has two speeds, two motors and is patent pending worldwide. The
We-Vibe is lead-free RoHS certified, WEEE compliant, phthalate free and carbon
neutral. Completely encased in medical-grade silicone, the We-Vibe is soft,
flexible and comfortably worn. It lends itself to foreplay and a variety of
creative uses.
Viewers of Sue Johansson's Talk Sex with Sue voted the We-Vibe Top Toy of
the Year in April. Then in October, the We-Vibe took the Most Innovative
Product of the Year award at the 2008 International Venus show in Berlin,
Germany.
The We-Vibe was invented by a couple from a small town in Ontario, Canada,
who mortgaged their home and used their life savings to turn their dream into
reality. For several years, Bruce and Melody Murison worked secretly on the
toy without telling family and friends as they were concerned about the
potential stigma associated with the sex-toy industry. That all changed, when
a local newspaper ran a front-page story on what the former hi-tech employees
had been up to. The Murisons were relieved to receive nothing but
congratulations from neighbours and friends.
See Ottawa Citizen Article:
http://www.canada.com/ottawacitizen/story.html?id=80ac6d7d-895d-4628-8e95-72812e6f31e6&p=1
December 12, 2008 http://www.earthtimes.org/
Pamela Tames: Tales From The Masturbators
Recently I did a poll canvassing my girlfriends about masturbation techniques. I needed some fresh ideas. It was a Sunday night. There was nothing good to eat in the fridge. What the heck?
I wanted to know the basics. What, when, how and of course we all know why. Names have been changed to protect identities. I believe I might have forgotten to mention to everyone that I was even doing this post. Oh well. I’m sure they’ll love it.
Here goes:
Vain Fingers describes doing it in front of a full length mirror that hangs on her closet door. In a pinch, she’ll do it in front of the smaller mirror over her sink. Mascara, masturbate, eyeshadow, masturbate. You get the drift. The urge can hit her out of the blue, she says. Typically it’s triggered by putting on or taking off her bra and panties. (Maybe that’s Victoria’s Secret?) She grabs her trusty vibrator and standing with legs spread, “like in a yoga posture,” (forgive me, oh Guru), completes the task. Sometimes she puts high heels on and whips herself (just kidding!).
Soapy Fingers prefers a bathtub filled with bubbles and soft candlelight for mood. She’ll be shaving her legs and then maybe other places. Next thing you know, she’s rubbing herself in the other places with a bar of soap. She says it makes her come quickly, especially if she uses two bars of soap. As an experienced “soapabator,” she offers a note of caution: “soap stings on shaved skin.”
Brown Fingers (oops, I better not say that even though she’s a brunette – I’ll use Vibrating Fingers instead) starts by dipping her small vibrator in a jar of shea butter. Lying on her bed naked and spread eagle, she applies the vibrator on the inside rather than outside, which she simultaneously “massages” with her free hand. She says she read somewhere that the clitoris and the G spot are just two sides of the same coin, so she likes to “work it from both sides.” I didn’t verify this anatomical tidbit but I did star my notes here as worthy of further investigation.
His Fingers says she only masturbates with her boyfriend watching. I tried to explain that sort of defeats the purpose. “It’s a Tantra thing,” she defended. “We don’t have intercourse so as to accumulate the sexual energy and become really powerful.” I didn’t bother correcting her on the fact that Tantra involves refraining from actual orgasm, not intercourse. What they heck, they’re having fun.
English Fingers is, as you may have guessed, fond of the English cucumber. She hates the smell of plastic and silicone, so dildos are out and cucumbers are the new BF. She explained that she prepares by thoroughly washing and peeling the cucumber. She returns to bed with her green friend, snuggling with it under the covers to get the fridge chill off. “Is that like veggie foreplay?” I asked innocently. She didn’t answer. “Do you want me to continue?” She said in the voice of a stern librarian. I told her I got the picture and noted to myself to never eat cucumber salad at her house.
Web Fingers does it at her computer. Being an attorney, she doesn’t have a whole lot of time. This is her idea of parallel processing. Once in a while, she’ll check one of those sex video sites to move things along but that’s only if she’s (a) on a deadline, (b) on a business trip, and (c) on her personal laptop. Now, whenever anyone says the word, “lapdance,” she thinks, “laptop,” and gets all excited.
Pillow Fingers is, I think, self-evident though at first, I didn’t think it was possible. She explained further. “I’ll be watching TV and my eyes will dart over to one of the throw pillows,” she said. “Next thing you know, it’s between my legs and I’m humping it. I can do it with any pillow.” No wonder some women love decorating so much, I thought to myself.
Dear Reader, could I make this up? Can you add to the list? That’s a dare.
December 11, 2008 http://www.empowher.com
Recycled sex toys create a buzz
Is this the ultimate in recycling? Even the adult industry is jumping on the green bandwagon with the environmentally friendly disposal of sex toys.
The project is being led by sex toy manaufacturer Dreamscapes, which has started a way for people to pop their used or broken (there’s an image Greenbang is trying to get out of its head right now) vibrators, dildos, plugs and other sex toys into the post.
At the other end, so to speak, the toys are cleaned (thank goodness) and disassembled. The rubber, silicone, plastic, motorised parts and batteries will be sent to recycling facilities that will process the materials for reuse.
http://www.recycleyoursextoy.com/
December 10, 2008
http://www.greenbang.com
Sex lives sink with economy
COULD THE economic downturn affect your relationship and hurt your sex life?
These are two questions that many couples may be faced with as they grapple with rising prices and possible job losses.
Mary and her Bajan husband, John, are confident their decades-long relationship can survive the strains of the economic downturn.
"What's happening isn't his fault, and I see it as my responsibility to be supportive," said Mary, who lives in Boston.
Support important
John, a legal immigrant for more than 20 years, lost his job at least three months ago and has been unable so far to find work to help put food on the table. He readily acknowledges his wife's keen financial and psychological support.
"She has been very good about it," he told the SATURDAY SUN.
"The trouble is going to come if things get so rough that I can't buy Christmas gifts or we can't pay the mortgage. That's when the rubber will hit the road."
With the prospect of job losses emerging on Barbados' economic horizon, many couples in Barbados may face a similar situation, and the picture painted by the husband and wife in Massachusetts may have a different ending in the Caribbean country.
The stresses and strains caused by financial woes can tear couples apart, and the first evidence of the difficulties may show up in the bedroom.
"An important part of our relationships is what happens sexually between couples," said Dr Myrna Lashley, a Barbadian psychologist in Canada.
"Our brain is inextricably linked to our sexual desires, and many people, both men and women, can't get into the mood when they are very concerned about paying the mortgage, meeting the car payment or buying the food."
Her expert opinion was supported by the results of a recent survey carried out by the manufacturers of Relora, an anxiety medication.
Researchers surveyed 500 people between the ages of 18 to 55 years in ten major cities across the United States in order to find out, among other things, if worries about money were inhibiting bedroom activities.
The answers they received were summed up in a single word: YES!
Here are some of the findings:
* 62 per cent of the men and women reported they were not having enough sex, and stress was a key culprit.
* Questions about money topped the list for 64 per cent of the participants, concurrent with the poor economy.
* 40 per cent of the participants in the study said they were too stressed over their jobs.
* Two-thirds listed watching television as the most frequent way of getting rid of stress. Some 65.5 per cent also listed listening to music. The sex drive had taken the plunge as the economy went into the tank.
* Almost half of the respondents, 46 per cent, complained they were more stressed out than a year ago.
* Other reasons for stress ranged from health concerns (32 per cent); family problems (32 per cent); and relationship issues (30 per cent).
Interestingly, between July and September, the sales of Viagra jumped by 13 per cent over the same period last year, suggesting that more people felt the need for a boost to jump-start their sexual desires.
A New York City store that sells sex toys told a Manhattan-based tabloid newspaper that sales of such toys for women skyrocketed by almost 90 per cent in recent times.
Troubles
Money and job troubles can raise questions about an unemployed person's ability to deal with problems, or a wife, for instance, can become doubtful about a husband's ability to support the family. Just as important, she may wonder if he is trying hard enough to be employed again.
Brain controls mood
Like Lashley in Montreal, Dr Peter Lambrou, a clinical psychologist and chairman of psychology at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, California, linked the brain with interest in sex.
"Sex is more in the brain than below the belt," he said. "The greater the stress level the less sex will be in their relationship.
"Whatever couples can do to better manage their stress will help improve both the frequency and satisfaction of their sex lives."
Wendy Joffe, a psychologist, is advising couples to talk more about their problems when issues of money, jobs and the wear and tear on relationships surface.
"You need to sit together and have a strategy on how to handle this time and feel like you are on the same team," she said.
December 9, 2008 http://www.nationnews.com/
What Do Sex Toys have to do with ‘The Day the Earth Stood Still’? Todd Masters Explains
Back in February RopeofSilicon was invited by 20th Century Fox, along with several other online outlets, to the set of The Day the Earth Stood Still in Vancouver, British Columbia. Over the course of the next four days we’ll be bringing you interviews with Keanu Reeves, Jon Hamm, Jennifer Connelly and director Scott Derrickson. I’ll be describing a scene I saw filmed as well as bringing you interviews with the cast, director, production designer and today’s opening interview feature with special effects guru Todd Masters.
It was definitely cool to meet Jennifer Connelly, amazingly attractive in person, and marking Keanu off the list has been a goal since Point Break. Scott Derrickson seems like a hip fellow, though of course they kept all the “talent” away from us pesky journos as much as possible. My favorite part of the trip was either 1) Being told I look like Michael Cera by the Fox rep (bless that guy) or 2) Walking on the extremely large set of The Day the Earth Stood Still, surrounded by a painted city, on the a set the size of a small stadium, but more on that in the coming days. We hope you enjoy this peek inside 20th Century Fox’s surefire December hit, let’s get underway.
Todd Masters, of MastersFX, was nice enough to sit down with us to talk The Day the Earth Stood Still. Todd’s firm is handling the creature effects and makeup for Twentieth Century Fox’s remake. Here’s what he had to say about Keanu, sex toys (huh?) and what went wrong on The Invasion (you remember that one right?).
Enjoy!
Todd Masters (TM): [pulls out what looks to a be clear skin-like prop] This is alien skin. It’s made of dermal plastic and silicone. We actually hired a gentleman who worked in the sex toy business. He had the greatest materials I’ve ever seen. We brought him on and we bought a sex toy making machine and now we can make this weird stuff that nobody else can make.
It has an amazing translucency and an amazing flexibility. These are things I don’t usually relate to sex, but it’s apparently what they do. We’re making a lot of the skins out of that. A lot of it is assisting visual effects and production to find the best way to create effects. That’s usually a mixture of what’s best, what’s most cost effective and what’s production friendly. So we’ll choose methods, whether it be post production CG models or physical characters for the production to work with.
What’s your work with Visual Effects been like?
TM: Quite a bit. I actually started in Visual Effects before I started making practical monsters professionally. Before computers, when they were opticals. Now they are a lot easier to composite. The language between their team and ours is pretty seamless. It’s important to have really tight relationships with all the departments. Anything visual, as a language, it’s always difficult to describe in words. It’s hard to describe the minutia of design.
Is it more interesting to tackle a classic like The Day the Earth Stood Still?
TM: Yeah, for the impact it’s made on so many people… I had a customs agent ask what I was doing in Vancouver and I wasn’t sure what recollection people would have of the original, but this guy’s ears perked right up and he said he had to see it when it came out. It’s tricky because you want to honor the original film, but that the same time with modern technology and modern filmmaking you want to enhance the story. So it’s a tricky double edged sword.
I always remember when Robert Ebert said, years ago, when the 1939 version of Stagecoach was remade, you could never find that movie. And it’s like “Oh God, I hope that doesn’t happen.” I hope it encourages people to see both. It would be nice if a DVD came out to compare the two. The first one, multiple endings and a lot of political injections in there. This one is similarly doing that with what’s troubling our society now. It’s kind of a green message.
Were you actually allowed to bring this stuff through customs?
TM: You would be amazed what I can get through customs! (laughs) I come through with the strangest things. I’ve brought through heads, bodies, animals. I’m always amazed when they don’t stop me. We have a studio in L.A. and Vancouver, I take planes like they are busses. It’s always a challenge because the idea is to make it look organic.
If you remember a movie from a few years back called Turistas, there was a highly detailed body in there that we had to ship to Brazil. The film has a horrific surgery sequence. Strangely enough we didn’t get our body until hours before the shot. They held it up for a week and a half. It was so realistic, our studio has done things like Six Feet Under where you have to do bodies that are so good you don’t notice them as dummies. So every detail, every eyelash, every nose hair is in there. So it is a little weird, if you’re a layperson, to open up a casket, because we ship them in caskets, it would be a little disturbing. Even if it says “Fake” all over it.
Do you learn anything from a remake like The Invasion?
TM: We worked on that film. We learned a lot. The communication between practical and visual effects was never very well linked on that project. It was one of those “Shoot anything and we’ll fix it in post” type of attitudes. Not only does that not play best for the audience but you can start detecting weird little holes. It also drives production crazy and drives the budget up. It’s so seductive to try and go back to sweeten everything.
If you saw The Invasion you can see Nicole Kidman, they went back and retouched things that probably never should have been retouched. Little pieces of skin that were just little pieces of skin. It should have always been little pieces of skin. They weren’t supposed to be special effects. It’s tricky not to overwhelm the design and push as many computer buttons as you can. That’s very seductive. A certain amount of restraint is actually important. The best example of film effects is when you don’t experience it as an effect.
*** SPOILERS BELOW ***
What are the stages of Klaatu in terms of makeup?
TM: He comes out of his orb looking grey, but he’s more translucent. That’s the CG, to be created by WETA digital down in New Zealand. He gets shot, he falls into Helen’s arms, bleeds all over her. All CG at that point. As he’s losing his life force he becomes less translucent and more opaque. We do a timecut transition, a helicopter trip to the O.R. Once he’s being pushed down the hallway in his hyperbolic chamber, that’s when he’s a practical piece. We rush him into the O.R. and do all these surgery scenes. Until we do the big reveal, which reveals the inner being.
It’s mainly going to be a CG model with our skin and fragments all over the place. So you’ve got a real subtle moving thing. Originally we were talking about doing a puppet, but with so much going on and a shorter and shorter schedule to shoot it, the decision was made to choose our battles.
Did you do any makeup on Keanu?
TM: I did a lot of photoshop. We talked about doing some subtle stuff with Keanu but it was decided that we really wanted to see him the way he is. So no crazy prosthetics on Keanu. We did headcast him and we were originally going to do a baldcap with really subtle eyebrows growing out of his skin.
We are still doing a close-up of hair growing out of his arm a la Werewolf in London. We took a mold of one of our artist’s skin and we enlarged it through chemical processes. So we have this gigantic chunk of skin that has the overdetailed pores and all that. It’s a macro close-up. It will be done in reverse, much like the Werewolf trick. It’s a pretty bizarre piece. It should be subtle, you won’t even know it’s fake.
December 8, 2008 http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/
Lily Allen Gets Sex Toys From Jaime
Lily Allen has been sent a selection of sex toys by pal Jaime Winstone.
LONDON (RushPRnews)12/04/08-The ‘Smile’ singer – who has been single since splitting from Chemical Brothers star Ed Simons in August – has reportedly been complaining about her quiet sex life, and Jaime thinks the vibrating gifts will help satisfy her urges.
A source at the Ann Summers Enchantment party in London’s Baccarat Room on Monday night (01.12.08), told Britain’s Daily Star newspaper: ‘Lily has enjoyed being single since splitting from Ed but she has been moaning about her sex life.
‘So Jaime bought her a few vibrators – a Rampant Rabbit Thriller, a Vibro ring, a Joyrider and a Rosebud Stimulator.’
Laughing about her naughty purchases, Jaime joked: ‘It’s not only Santa who comes once a year!’ Lily and Jaime, the daughter of ‘Fool’s Gold’ star Ray Winstone, became close friends after Jaime started dating Lily’s brother Alfie late last year.
December 5, 2008 http://www.rushprnews.com
The We-Vibe Is A Perfect ... Er ... Stocking-Stuffer
It’s the Tickle-Me-Elmo of sex toys: the We-Vibe is clearly the hottest toy on the market this holiday season. When I asked the staff from my favourite independent Canadian sex stores for their top three sex toys picks for 2008, every single list included the We-Vibe.
Toronto sex shop Good For Her described it as “a fantastic innovation in the world of couples’ toys from a genius inventor right here in Canada” while Come As You Are called it “aesthetically unique and brilliantly designed, the We-Vibe is the great-leap-forward in sex toys we’ve all been waiting for” and Womyn’s Ware in Vancouver said it was for the “girlfriend who has seen it all when it comes to sex toys and is tired of sex toys that don’t meet her standards.”
Believe the hype. This toy hits all the marks so many other toys do not. Plus, it’s Canadian. Designed and invented by Ottawa’s own Bruce Murison, the We-Vibe is clamshell-shaped and can be worn during intercourse with one end going inside the vagina and nestling against the G-spot and the other end buzzing against the clit, providing bonus vibration for him. It’s rechargeable, waterproof, and made of phalate-free medical-grade silicone.
Got a We-Vibe already? Fine: here are some other suggestions from my fave Canadian sex shops.
The Sasi : Cunnilingus fans and tech nerds have both been rejoicing over the release of The Sasi. From French designers Je Joue, this toy is the height of techno-savvy sex. The magic is delivered primarily by a small, rotating ball under a silky silicone cover that runs through a series of programmable patterns. It’s small, quiet, and will remember the strokes you like — and the ones you don’t — without the inevitable fatigue of a human tongue.
The Monarch Dildo : Remember the Thigh Master? Taking inspiration from the celebrated exercise contraption, this toy features a modestly sized dildo attached to hinged wings that work by pressing the dildo up and inside via thigh power. Made of silicone so it can be sterilized.
Sliquid Organic Lube : A glycerin- and paraben-free lube made with all natural ingredients. Sliquid Organics Lubricant is a silky-smooth lube that dries without becoming sticky. Very little taste or smell either.
Rosebud Silicone Vibe : This sweet dual vibe from Vibratex is made from velvety silicone. There aren’t many silicone Japanese-style vibes on the market and this is one of the best. It has a short and powerful shaft with a nicely bulbous head. The built-in clit stimulator offers a high buzz and is quite wide to cover a greater area around the clitoris.
Jimmyjane Massage : Warm up your winter (and someone you adore) with Jimmyjane’s new luxurious and sensuous massage tools, the Afterglow Candle and the Massage Contours I&M. These massage candles melt at a low temperature and can be dripped onto your lover’s back or lovingly painted on with the included brush. Increase the intensity of your massage with Jimmyjane’s I&M shaped ceramic massage stones.
Lelo Bo : Up until now, most of Lelo’s sex toys have been designed for female pleasure. Now they’ve applied their genius to pleasing the guys with the Lelo Bo. This vibrating penis ring is made body-safe rubber is portable, discreet, and rechargeable. It comes with its own storage case and will vibrate for four hours on a single charge.
Lelo Mia : The rechargeable lipstick-sized Mia vibe is sleek, small, and recharges in your computer’s USB port, making it the perfect travel vibe. Mia has multiple vibration speeds and pulsations. The beautifully designed discreet, powerful, earth-friendly vibrator comes in pink or plum.
Liberty Bell with Red Zinger : For the boyfriend who has dabbled with penis rings but has never tried a vibrator on his bits before. Made of silicone, this cushy ring fits snugly at the base of the penis. The attached triangle shaped pad is softly textured. Insert the Red Zinger vibrating “bullet” into the pad for plenty of nubby stimulation on the clitoris when pointing north, or his perineum when pointing south. Fun for everyone!
December 4, 2008 http://www.seemagazine.com/
Women on top: Female execs rise in porn biz
Joy King laughs at the stereotype of the porn king as a skeevy guy in gold neck chains, a paunch and the sunglasses Elliott Gould wore in “Ocean’s Eleven.”
“There is still this perception that [the porn industry] is all run by men, and not very nice men,” said King, who is vice president of special projects at major adult film company Wicked Pictures. “It is not widely known how many women executives there are in this industry.”
King, the woman who helped turn Jenna Jameson into a brand, proves her own point. For years she has been a leading figure in the world of “adult,” as it is commonly known, but hardly anyone outside that world has ever heard of her.
People have heard of Christie Hefner, of course, Hugh’s daughter who runs Playboy. But from the owner of the small adult store near you, to video directors, to promoters, to online porn purveyors, women have quietly become integral to the world of adult entertainment in ways that have nothing to do with wearing stripper heels and a big smile.
One of the earliest pioneers of Internet naughtiness was a woman named Danni Ashe who built her own small digital empire in the early ‘90s.
The co-owner of one of the nation’s top producers of X-rated movies, Digital Playground, is a woman who goes by the name Samantha Lewis. A mother, married to a Los Angeles television personality, Lewis used to work in real estate before investing in porn.
Susan Colvin, who trained for a career in public administration, owns one of the “Big Five” sex-toy makers, California Exotic Novelties.
Former performer Candida Royalle started and runs her own production company, Femme, to make X-rated movies for the “couples” market. She also endorses a line of sex toys.
Diane Duke, once an executive with Planned Parenthood, now runs the Free Speech Coalition, the public policy umbrella organization that advocates for the adult industry. Many other women work in upper and middle management. Some have struck out on their own to create Web sites, others have started porn’s version of “indie” movie outfits.
Having such women in charge might help lift the taboo that, as King says, “sort of lays like a mist over the adult industry,” but it is not likely to cool the fervor of anti-porn feminists. And, while female executives and owners say they hope to bring new perspectives to erotica so that performers receive better treatment, the product improves and there is less misogyny, they may be hindered by economics.
Surprisingly, many women who work in the business say they don’t like porn — at least not the porn that takes up most of the shelf space in adult stores or is downloaded from the Internet. They do not object for moral reasons, they just think it’s a crummy product and often far too misogynistic.
Even King, who likes and watches porn even when it’s not part of her job, finds a lot of “adult entertainment” neither very adult nor entertaining, especially the types like the “Girls Gone Wild” genre that, she says, takes advantage of drunken girls. She defends it on free speech grounds but that doesn’t mean she likes it.
Some women are trying to instill change using as leverage the fact that porn is one industry that can’t exist without females (which is why women performers almost always make more money than men and call their male counterparts “furniture”).
Being called ‘traitor’
But good intentions and economic empowerment certainly do not mollify anti-porn feminists. “I think the nicest word they have ever used to describe me is ‘brainwashed,’” said veteran performer and business owner Nina Hartley. “Usually it’s more like ‘traitor.’”
An organization called Stop Porn Culture, a group of academics and activists who believe that “patriarchal, capitalist society” fosters porn, states that regardless of who is in charge, many female performers “are under a variety of constraints such as economic hardship and a perceived lack of options. … We are critical of the industry that exploits these women, not the women themselves.”
King finds this 30-year-old argument unconvincing. “If you look at a single mom trying to put herself through college, and she works at a strip club, is she a victim? She’s found a way to earn more than she could waiting tables, working three jobs. I don’t see anything wrong with it.”
University of California Santa Barbara film studies professor Constance Penley, who studies the adult industry, agreed. Name an industry that’s different, she said. Because porn involves sex it is subject to what Penley calls “exceptionalism.” It is not judged in the bigger cultural context. But it should be. “You have to ask: Does it have more drug abuse or more suicides, more incidents of girls being sexually abused as children, more cosmetic surgery than Hollywood, TV, the recording industry?” she said. The answer, she pointed out, is probably not. So why pick on sex movies?
All business
Still, having more women signing the paychecks does not necessarily mean the industry as a whole is better for female performers. This is because there is no such thing as “the industry,” just as there is no such thing as “the media.” The sex business has become wildly diffuse thanks to digital technology, pirated downloads and the ease of distribution. There are probably more producers of porn who exist outside industry organizations that try to set standards and police the business than inside them.
“We’re competing with the guy with the camcorder who bought it for $993 at Circuit City, who’s got his girlfriend and somebody else and they’re gonna shoot it and have sex and put it on the Internet,” director Kelly Holland told a Women in Film forum last year.
There are literally tens of thousands of “productions” made each year in the U.S. alone, and most of these are not coming from the bigger companies like the ones Holland works for.
This matters because while more executives may be women, Penley said, “it is, first and foremost, a business.” At the moment, business is lousy. Profits have dropped under the onslaught of the same forces hurting newspapers, book publishers and music companies.
“It is worse than the last recession,” King said. “We have rising fuel costs, the price of DVD cases tripled and we cannot pass that on and we have a very competitive industry.” More important, the Internet is stuffed with free, often pirated, porn. Margins are now so bad that some companies have laid off workers or shut their doors.
Costly seduction
That inescapable fact works against changes women have tried to make in the products they produce and sell. For example, several groups of women have tried to create explicit productions, whether for cable TV, online distribution or DVD purchase and rental that appeal specifically to a female sensibility. But aside from Candida Royalle’s Femme series, which gets a big boost by being distributed through mail order giant Adam and Eve, such efforts have been slow to take hold.
They may never take hold. Sensuality, seduction, plot, even good lighting can cost money. “The bulk of pornography is being produced for $17,000,” Holland told the forum. “My budgets are $60,000 for a day-and-a-half shoot. We do two movies in three days and each budget is approximately $60,000. That is astronomically high right now.”
So while more women are calling the shots, they have to respond to a market of primarily male consumers, many of whom find plots simply a waste of time.
Many producers have to crank out sex scenes and most non-star performers have to appear in a lot of them to make any money.
Just because Jenna Jameson got rich doesn’t mean others will. In fact, there will probably never be another Jenna.
“The average lifespan of a porn star now is anywhere from six months to three years, tops,” Sharon Mitchell, who runs the Adult Industry Medical Health Care Foundation, said in an interview with legal scholars for a 2006 article in the Vanderbilt Journal of Entertainment and Technology Law. “Then they’ve got no money … they think the money’s not going to end, so they get a boob job and a Ferrari.”
Mitchell, herself a former actress, told the authors said that agents “are now recruiting people from, literally, the middle of the country [who] are 18 years old who haven’t remotely had any type of sex, let alone the type of sex they’re probably going to have tomorrow.” Too often, she said, “agents run them into the ground” signing them to make too many sex scenes, and that can lead to STDs.
Female directors, producers and owners know all this and say they work to fight it, partly by turning away young women they think are ill prepared. A few have suggested that producers should hire women who are at least 21, rather than 18.
“Do I like sleazy guys trying to take advantage of girls?” King said. “No. Nobody does.” But they argue that tarring the entire adult world with the actions of some is like judging the entire television business by a guy eating animal guts on “Fear Factor.”
When women are making the decisions, they say, things are often different. Performers at King’s Wicked Pictures can choose their male partners, demand condoms and command comparatively high salaries.
“We have been criticized by men in the business who say, ‘Oh, you baby the girls, you pamper them too much,” said Shoosh (who uses one name), co-owner of Triangle Films, a small producer of lesbian-themed erotica. “I never set out to baby or pamper. I am just a mothering kind of person.” Others, such as Lewis of Digital Playground, insist they are careful to coach actresses about the potential pitfalls of the industry.
Wicked makes about one movie per week, King said, and she watches every one for content. “If I’m offended by it, I am certainly going to say something and try to have it taken out of the movie.”
Still, as business owner Hartley explained, having a woman run the show is no guarantee of a workers’ paradise or a different kind of product. Women, she said, can be jerks, men can be gems. “It’s not a question of gender. If being a feminist means anything at all it means judging the content of character not the gonads they possess.”
December 3, 2008 http://www.msnbc.msn.com
'Passion & Power: The Technology of Orgasm'
Good old-fashioned female "hysteria" – not to mention good vibrations – get a close look in Passion & Power: The Technology of Orgasm, a fun new documentary based on the research of historian (and Victorian-era vibrator collector) Rachel Maines.
Examiner.com readers in the Chicago area can check out screenings this week at the Gene Siskel Film Center (November 28–December 4), but the rest of us will have to wait for the December 9 DVD release.
Here's a trailer and a synopsis from the film's website:
This is the story of one simple invention, the vibrator, and its relationship to one complex human behavior, the female orgasm. The history of the vibrator and its medical use had virtually vanished until historian Rachel Maines, researching needlework patterns in early 20th century women’s magazines, ran across ads for electric vibrators. Piquing her curiosity, she traced the origins of this early electrified appliance and made an astonishing discovery. Under the guise of a medical treatment, Victorian doctors had used vibrators to relieve women of symptoms of hysteria by masturbating them to orgasm. Why did women need this treatment? Female sexual satisfaction was, and continues to be, misunderstood or, worse, ignored. Almost 70% of women do not reach orgasm by penetration alone. Yet, the social, legal and religious definition of “real” sex is just that: penetration of the vagina to MALE orgasm. FEMALE orgasm isn’t even considered. Is it any wonder that a lot of women were unsatisfied? Their dissatisfaction was labeled “hysteria.” Symptoms of hysteria were vague: Being cranky, reading French novels while wearing tight corsets, etc. It was a disease manufactured by doctors creating a lucrative clientele and a mutually camouflaged procedure that satisfied both.
November 30, 2008 http://www.examiner.com
December Parenting Magazine Advertises 'Lipstick' Vibrators
Parenting magazine, a monthly publication that offers advice and product information to parents, is in the hot light of controversy following the release of their December 2008 issue, which hit mailboxes in late November. The issue, mostly geared toward holiday gifting and seasonal parenting advice, includes an advertisement for the Lipstick Vibe, a small, discrete vibrator in the form of a lipstick tube.
The magazine, which is generally a very tame, sober publication that discusses only the basic ropes of parenting, applauds the $28 item by saying, "Whether you go way back with your vibrator - or you're looking to start a new relationship, these vibes-in-disguise are worth a look."
Although few children arrive in the world without being the result of some form of sexual contact, the out-of-character advertisement may spark shock, anger, or outrage on behalf of Parenting's subscribers. In the eyes of many American mothers, sex toys have no place in a magazine devoted to parents. While sex can, and often does, lead women into the position of being mothers, many want to keep their sexual lives entirely independent of their roles as parents.
Others, however, may consider it to be a breath of fresh air. With parenting culture focusing near-excusively on the needs of children without regard to the very real sexual and emotional needs of parents, motherhood often presents a crisis of dichotomy. When women are told that motherhood must equal celibacy or asexuality, they frequently find themselves feeling subjugated or even abused.
Parenting has now riled against mother-related stereotypes and is encouraging the breakdown of the madonna-or-whore dichotomous illusion. This unconventional move toward appealing to a racier motherhood audience may rock the world of parents' publications, sparking either a boycott or a more widespread following.
November 26, 2008 http://www.associatedcontent.com
Thieves steal used LoveHoney sex toys
Thieves have created a buzz with one of the most unusual thefts ever seen in Bath.
Police are investigating the theft of six boxes of used sex toys from a city firm.
The items were being stored as part of a recycling scheme run by Locksbrook Road adult goods supplier LoveHoney.
The firm operates an amnesty which has so far led to five tonnes of worn-out toys being sent for recycling.
The six large cardboard boxes - with an estimated value of £750 - were stolen from outside the premises over the weekend.
The toys had been cleaned but were not packaged.
LoveHoney fears that the thieves may try to sell the items.
Its head buyer, Bonny Hall, said: "If people are offered sex toys for sale that aren't in boxes, they should refuse them.
"The toys are all clean, but were designated for recycling, certainly not for reuse."
The mail order firm launched its Rabbit Amnesty - named after a leading brand of sex toy - in August last year.
Customers taking part get sent a new half-price model in return.
For each item sent back to LoveHoney, the firm also makes a £1 donation to the World Land Trust, which runs tropical forest land purchase and protection projects.
When the scheme was launched, Ms Hall said: "Although some people might think it's strange to recycle sex toys, rabbit sales are growing every year and we don't want old ones dumped in landfill sites across the country."
A police spokeswoman said: "We are investigating the burglary of sex toys from the premises."
Anyone with information should call police on 0845 456 7000.
November 25, 2008 http://www.thisisbath.co.uk
John Barrowman: I was given a Captain Jack vibrator
John Barrowman has revealed that he was sent a saucy sex toy by a Torchwood fan.
And the actor says he was shocked when he realised it had been made especially for him.
‘The most random thing I’ve been given is a vibrator,’ he explains.
‘[It had] my character Captain Jack on the box, riding on top of a vibrator superimposed on this bomb.’
And he’s also had women's underwear thrown in his face, despite the fact he's gay.
‘At one concert some women threw these big M&S knickers at me,’ John, 41, tells Celebs On Sunday.
‘[It] was really funny and made me feel like Tom Jones.’
November 21, 2008 http://www.nowmagazine.co.uk
Sex-toy ads pulled from NRC website
OTTAWA - The Red Planet was looking more like a red-light district on Wednesday with a federal government website designed to get children interested in colonizing Mars also advertising lingerie and sex toys.
Before the ads were pulled, the French version of the National Research Council's Marsville project pages featured a series of links with titles such as "sexy lingerie."
Clicking through the links brought up web pages advertising the adults-only products, including one with photographs of a variety of sexual implements sold by U.S.-based company Eden Fantasys, next to images of other paraphernalia such as the "Nymphomation foot-long sex toy case." Another page linked from the Marsville site featured a graphic image of a blue sex toy.
The Canadian National Marsville program encourages teams of schoolchildren from across the country, Grades 6 to 8, to design life-support and communications systems for use on Mars. The explicit advertisements were posted on the web page that lets the teams read and write blogs about their progress.
The links appeared on a page that listed blog entries from local schools such as Steve MacLean Public School, École secondaire publique Louis-Riel and Robert Bateman Public School.
NRC spokesperson Natalie Hall blamed the ads on hackers and promised that staff would be checking the website more closely in future. This year's Marsville project does not formally launch until the end of January, she said. Once it begins, the site is checked daily by staff in the NRC's science outreach program.
"We are committed to remain vigilant," she said. "This doesn't happen when the majority of students and teachers are on the site ... There are always hackers out there that will try to do things to these sites."
When the space-exploration project is running, teachers are able to vet what their students post on their school team's blogs, Ms. Hall said.
The NRC has been running the Marsville program since 1996. "It's a really good tool to engage students and get them interested in science," Ms. Hall said.
The ads were removed on Wednesday, but late in the afternoon, the NRC website was still allowing anyone to create an account and post new blog entries on the Marsville page. With a few clicks, the Citizen was able to start a Marsville blog and post a test message.
The links to the adult material were apparently posted by someone hoping to get a share of sales. One of the sex-toy websites pays "affiliates" a 20-per-cent commission on sales they refer.
November 20, 2008 http://www.canada.com
5 Celebrity Sex Toys You Don’t Need
American people, you have spoken with your ballots, and look what it’s gotten you: a dildomodeled after president-elect
Obama.
What a proud moment for us all! it’s not the first time a politician–or
any public figure, for that matter–has gotten their likeness jacked (no
pun intended) for a sex toy.
Hell,
50 Cent used to talk about releasing a dildo of his own, but this is a whole other situation; someone’s getting the shaft here, that’s for sure.
HEAD O STATE OBAMA DILDO
Is it racist or just stupid? So hard to say these days. ——————————————————————————
MADONNA CONDOMS
In 1979, the sinewy tarantula formerly known as Madonna
was a young and attracitve singer who posed for some ill-advised nude
shots by photographer Martin Schreiber. In 2001, Schreiber licensed
them jernts to a condom company, who promptly felt the legal heat from
Madonna’s team of voguing quasi-Hindu Kabbalah ninjas. Take a lesson
from Guy Ritchie and think twice before you let her get that close to
your junk. ——————————————————————————
J-HO AND SARAH JESSICA PORKHER BLOWUP DOLLS
Not to be confused with other thinly-veiled ripoffs like “Lindsay Fully Loaded” and “Dirty Christina.” You stay classy, Pipedreams! ——————————————————————————
DAVE STEWART’S LIMITED-EDITION VIBRATORS
No, not the relief pitcher—the weird silent dude from Eurythmics. Yeah, he and some “adult boutique”
decided the world needed $2,000 vibrators with his lyrics etched on
them. Look, all we’re saying is If we’re paying two large for a sex
toy, it better have a heartbeat. ——————————————————————————
CELEBRITYBUTTPLUGS.COM (R.I.P.)
All we’re gonna do here is quote the sales pitch. Kind tells you all
you need to know about the company behind “George Dubya Tush”:
People say DUBYA’s got his head up his butt, now you can find
out what it’s like to have it up yours! 5 1/4″ high and 3″ from ear to
ear (flared for ultimate anal amusement) GEORGE DUBYA TUSH will have
you standing at attention and saluting the flag while he roots around
for that pesky WMD (Wildly Messy Defecation)! Available in a variety of
colors.
November 19, 2009 http://www.complex.com
A new way to use your iPod
Most UIC college students own - or at least have heard of - the iPod, a portable media player made by Apple that allows the user to listen to music from a variety of different sources instead of listening to one album at a time. However, not nearly as many students have heard of the newest iPod accessory, the Naughtibod by OhMiBod. The Naughtibod has the ability to plug into an iPod (or a laptop, home stereo, iPhone or any other MP3 player) and allow the user to literally feel the music through a personal vibrator.
Marketed by OhMiBod as an 'acsexsory' for both men and women, the Naughtibod was developed by a former Apple employee in order to help women achieve orgasm. According to the National Institutes of Health, orgasmic dysfunction affects at least a third of all women, and 10-15 percent of American women have never had an orgasm. Certain prescription drugs, medical conditions, or a history of abuse can cause female orgasmic disorder, but sometimes the cause is simply a lack of understanding of how a woman can achieve an orgasm. In that scenario, a discrete tool like the Naughtibod can help a woman understand masturbation.
Tish, a UIC English major, says she understands why some women might choose to use a product like the Naughtibod - but she personally will not be buying the product. She feels the connection between the Naughtibod and music would "take away from my feelings about music." Her statements were somewhat echoed by Laurel, another English major, who questions the logistics of feeling the vibrations of music.
Of course, the Naughtibod also runs on two AA batteries and can be used without music, but that just leaves it as one ordinary psychedelic vibrator - something that students were sometimes hesitant to talk about.
In an anonymous, unscientific survey given to some UIC students, a number of students checked off that they felt that questions about vibrators were too personal, and they declined answering to any of the other comments.
OhMiBod seems to understand their concerns, because they allow anonymous membership for those who would prefer not to allow their personal habits to become known.
The Naughtibod can be purchased online or through select retailers for approximately $70.
November 17, 2008 http://media.www.chicagoflame.com
Cops seize sex toys in Manila raid
MANILA, Philippines - A number of sex toys amounting to P10,000 were seized during a series of police raids in several stalls in Manila's Quiapo and Sta. Cruz districts.
The raids, carried out about 3 p.m., were in response to Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim's directive to intensify the campaign against illegal sex toys being sold in the city, said Superintendent Romulo Sapitula, Manila Police District Station 3 commander.
"My men will continue to monitor the area and we will conduct relentless operations to prevent the proliferation of the sex toys," Sapitula said.
Among the items seized were sex rings, sex dolls and dildos. There was no immediate information whether there were arrests made in the raid.
Police had been receiving information that sex toys, along with fake Viagra pills, are being sold openly in the areas.
November 11, 2008 http://www.gmanews.tv
Hooking Up to Internet Sex Toys
Since when have long-distance relationships become the envy?
Since sex went high-tech. With the virtual world rolling out one sex marvel after the next, couples can hardly take a breather from all the action. Instead of waiting weeks to unleash their longings, lovers are going at it day and night — whenever they’ve recovered from the last realistic virtual sex romp. Whether a mile down the road or completely across the globe, lovers are delighting in the Internet’s version of sexual intimacy, which seems to know no end.
Long-distance relationships used to be such a drag. While nothing can replace the joys of real human touch, technology is making it a lot easier — and racier — to love from afar. Tech sex can keep you pining for each other and ready for action at a moment’s notice, and quite literally at that.
Heated sex play used to consist of shooting instant messages to one another, piquing one another's interest in chatrooms or wooing each other in online interactive worlds. Suddenly, Internet-enabled sex toys are all the rage.
Teledildonics, also known as cyberdildonics, combines sex with telepresence (the experience of being “present” in a real-time, real-world situation regardless of where you’re physically located). This realistic virtual sex involves sex toys that can be controlled for your pleasure via your computer over the World Wide Web. All you have to do is download the sex toy’s software, then plug the device into your computer, and you’re in business.
Lovers can then log onto the ‘net and relish in controlling each other’s toys remotely. This typically involves controlling the vibrations of faux genitalia. A popular combination of this is the Interactive Fleshlight and Sinulator.
The Interactive Fleshlight is a sleeve (for the guys) that is compatible with the name brand Sinulator wireless vibrator. The Sinulator connects to any Windows computer with an Internet connection. While the male plays with the Fleshlight, vibrations are sent through the Sinulator to his female counterpart.
These products, as well as similar devices, also contain gadgets that allow lovers to adjust the virtual sex to a rhythm of their liking. Really tech-savvy partners may want to go all out, hooking up their Webcams or using instant messaging to add an audio component.
Adventurous lovers are finding that tech sex is changing their relationships for the better. This mode of sex is great in that:
— It enables lovers to stay in touch with the objects of their affection, as in practically in touch.
— Online sex communication makes in-person, offline sex talks that much easier.
— People are exploring new sexual frontiers, piquing each other’s interest as they amp up their sexual fantasies and erotic stories as never before.
Now, I’ll be the first to acknowledge that such sex play is not everyone’s cup of tea. I can appreciate its benefits, but I'm a slave to my computer. Getting me in the mood involves getting me away from my PC. Luckily, for those of us up for technological inspirations of a different sort, there are other options.
Your cell phone can offer you more than the buzz of its vibrating ring option. Vibrators are now available that work wirelessly with your cell phone. When you call your lover, or vice versa, the vibrator is activated, triggering a patterned, vibrating sequence for the duration of your conversation.
Other cell phone vibrators depend on text messaging. Sex partners can engage in some solo pleasuring, titillating each other with scintillating IMs. Lovers wear the wireless, bullet vibrator over their favorite hot spots. The gadget is activated when you receive a text message.
While some of these devices may seem a bit far out, they can be well worth your “sexperimentation,” taking you beyond the physical and virtual. Given the amount of intimacy people share, Internet sex enthusiasts claim it can be quite the emotional and mental experience.
Who knows? You may find yourself aroused as you’ve never known before.
November 14, 2008 Yvonne K. Fulbright http://www.myfoxnepa.com
Does Overexposure to Sex Make Us Jaded?
Does familiarity with sex breed contempt?
Some years ago, I worked for a seven-year stretch for a mail-order sex products catalog. It's a small company, and it was even smaller when I was
starting out there. It was the sort of company where everyone did a
little bit of every job that needed doing.
So in the years that I
worked there, I packed orders, received shipments, argued with vendors,
stocked shelves, talked with customers about their orders, did product
reviews and wrote product descriptions of porn, sex ed materials, lube
and sex toys. I sat at a desk within a few feet of the stock shelves
fully stocked with porn, sex ed materials, lube and sex toys. For eight
hours a day, five days a week, my day-to-day working life was spent
surrounded by -- indeed, immersed in -- porn, sex ed materials, lube
and sex toys.
Almost everyone I knew was aware of my work. Most
of them approved. But even among the ones who approved, a surprisingly
large number asked me the same question:
"Don't you get jaded working here?"
I
remember, in particular, the time my brother asked me that. He was in
town for a visit, and came by to see where I worked -- right at the
moment that I was unpacking a big box of dildos and butt plugs and
receiving them into inventory. He wasn't shocked, exactly, but he was
definitely a bit startled -- partly by the big box of several dozen
dildos and butt plugs but more, I think, by the casual, matter-of-fact
manner in which I was taking them out of the box and checking them off
the invoice. And he asked me the question:
"Don't you get jaded working here?"
It's
a question I got asked a lot when I worked at Blowfish. It's a question
I still get asked as a sex writer. And my answer is this:
No.
In the years that I've worked and written about sex products and sexual issues, I have not become jaded about sex.
I have become relaxed about sex.
And jaded and relaxed are not the same thing.
Being
jaded means you've lost your capacity to be excited and moved by
something. It means that you've been made dull, apathetic or cynical by
experience or by surfeit (to quote Merriam Webster). It means you've
seen so much of something that you just don't care about it anymore.
Being
relaxed, on the other hand, simply means being at ease. It means being
comfortable. It doesn't mean that you've seen so much of something that
you don't care about it anymore. It means that you've seen so much of
something that you think of it as normal.
I'm fascinated by the
assumption that exposure to sex will make people bored with it. After
all, sex is one of our deepest, most fundamental animal drives. Our
interest in it is not going anywhere. I mean, we're exposed to food
every day, several times a day, and we're not showing any signs of
becoming jaded or bored with it. Why do we think being exposed to sex
all day would make us jaded or bored with that?
Here's what I think.
In
American society, our interest in sex is often very tied up with
anxiety and forbidden-ness and secrecy. True, we have a popular culture
that's saturated in sexual imagery. But it's sexual imagery that
heightens our anxiety about sex instead of diminishing it. It's sexual
imagery that's all about how sex is for the young and beautiful and
fashionable, and none of the rest of us are good enough. And our
popular culture also has the fucked-up paradox of being saturated in
sexual imagery -- while at the same time, being pathetically lacking in
sexual information. We have exposure, but I don't think we really have
what I would call familiarity.
Sex
is seen as forbidden and bad; so exploring sex gets all tangled up with
the thrill of crossing lines and exploring forbidden territory. Sex is
seen as something that should be kept secret; so our fascination with
sex gets all tangled up with our fascination with secrets and mysteries
of all kinds. Sex is seen as something to be anxious and frightened
about; so the excitement of sex gets all tangled up with the fear of it.
And I think a lot of people are afraid that if all these tangled threads get detangled, our passion for sex will vanish.
I
think that for a lot of people, these tangled threads run so deeply
that they are confused about which part is the mystery and the frisson
of fear and the thrill of the forbidden, and which part is the pure,
raw, animal libido, hard-wired into us through millions of years of
evolution, via billions of ancestors who successfully reproduced
because they were horny.
So I want to reassure these people:
Sex isn't going anywhere.
First
of all: I've been working and writing about sex for almost 20 years
now. And my libido still has plenty of tangles with secrecy and shame,
fear and the forbidden. (Anyone who's read my more fucked-up porn will
attest to that.) Those threads are woven in deep, and they're not going
away. I've just spun them into rebellion and kink, like straw spun into
ornery, perverted gold.
But more to the point: As I've become
more familiar with sex, more immersed in it, more informed about it,
more accepting of my own desires and more understanding of other
people's, my libido has not diminished. If anything, it's done the
opposite. And that's true for pretty much everyone I know who works
with, or writes about, or is otherwise immersed in, sex and sexual
culture.
Being relaxed about sex is like being relaxed about
playing the piano, or meditating, or playing golf. It doesn't detract
from the experience. It enhances it. It helps you focus, keeps you in
touch with your body, makes you less prone to distraction and makes it
easier to stay in the moment.
Being relaxed about sex doesn't
make sex boring. It makes it that much easier to fully experience just
what it is that's exciting about it.
November 13, 2008 http://www.alternet.org
Sex Parties Helped Me Overcome My Intimacy Issues
Lately my libido levels had been low and intimacy with my husband was suffering. Was I really about to masturbate in public?
My husband and I were attending our very first sex party and -- by god -- I wanted us to be prepared.
I wasn't sure what to expect that evening. My libido levels had been low as of late, and intimacy with my husband was suffering. As someone who often relied upon a vibrator, was I really planning on possibly masturbating in public? Were Michael and I actually going to pull out that set of never-before-used handcuffs in a public setting? Was I going to allow myself to actually feel something?
The lobby of the midtown loft our hostess had rented looked rundown and somewhat sinister. We took the elevator up to the fifth floor and paid $40 to walk through the entryway, into a lavishly decorated space.
As far as sex parties go, this one was cheap. Groups such as Chemistry were charging $100 per couple for entry to their parties, and One Leg Up was charging a $199 quarterly fee for membership alone, with some events costing as much as $350 per couple. This was a small price to pay, though. Members-only clubs with application processes and strict rules, they provided safe spaces for sexual play by way of their exclusivity.
We assessed the scene of our own sexy soiree. Our hostess was setting out Twizzlers and bowls of pretzels, while a girl with Technicolor hair stood behind a small bar, labeling guests' liquor bottles. People were arriving in a trickle, dressed in anything from jeans and low-cut tops to corsets and striped stockings to fishnets and leather. Costuming and theme outfits were popular, and the crowd was creative.
We wandered around the loft, where people were slow to do anything but drink and chat. We pushed through hallways, around corners, through beaded doorways. We found an S&M room, for those who enjoyed flogging, bondage, and humiliation. The tickle room was filled with feathers and fluff and soft-to-the-touch cocoons. There was a room containing one enormous bed where, later in the evening, nude bodies would eventually clench and intertwine in a never-ending orgy. At the time, it was being used for a hands-on oral sex seminar.
Despite the décor, the whole affair had the casual air of a cocktail party. However, things were gradually becoming looser. A young man in the main cocktail area, wearing a shiny leather skirt and corset, worshipped a woman's bare foot. Another man casually threw his arm about a girl's shoulders, cupping her breasts, which were spilling out over the top of her corset. A scantily-clad woman lay on a table in the center of the room, with ice cream cones on each bare breast, offering herself up to the room at large.
It happened slowly, but the constant flesh and air of light-hearted debauchery made my skin tingle, my insides seize up. My nether-regions ached desperately. I hadn't felt this way in months.
My husband and I retired to a dark corner, hiding behind shadows and corners and that cheap wine-buzz in our heads. We grasped at each other, his hand burrowing into the waistband of my jeans, my hand slipping easily into his boxer briefs.
And suddenly, there I was, having sex in public.
After months of resisting his advances, turning my back on him in bed, feeling guilt and frustration over my lack of libido, it seems that what I really needed was exhibitionism -- and a scene dripping in sensuality -- to get myself revved up.
Even if the number of parties we attended in the future was limited, this moment alone would provide us with endless opportunities for dirty talk.
"Hey, remember that time when we ... "
November 12, 2008 http://www.alternet.org
Men can have sex toys, too
Being a single boy can be tough at times. You don’t have someone there to hold or spend time with. Not to mention you gotta go solo when it comes to that time. Unless of course you are a major player, which if you’re reading this, you aren’t. I have no problem pleasing myself, and actually I don’t know a guy – gay or straight – that hasn’t. Those who say they don’t are big fat liars, and more than likely are doing the deed as I type this.
But, lately I’ve found myself a bit bored with being the master of my domain--the hand-to-manhood interaction, as it were. I want to shake things up a bit in my single sex life. What better way to spice things up then bringing a new little friend into the mix?
I’m tired of the same ole same ole when it comes to personal satisfaction. My hand isn’t enough, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s time I get a toy. All of my lady friends don’t hide the fact that they have toys in their nightstand, why can’t I? But, with so many out there what is a boy to do?
Here are some suggestions I found for the boys who are daring enough to try something new, for themselves, in the bedroom.
Fleshlights: The most popular male sex toy on the market right now. The Fleshlight is named for the flesh-like material used in its inner sleeve, as well as the plastic case that houses the sleeve, which is fashioned to look like an oversized flashlight. The inner sleeve is available with many different body parts (use your imagination) and a more discreet slot-shaped orifice. If you don’t want to shell out the nearly $60 then the Honey Pot Masturbation Device might be the way to go. It goes one step further by adding a multi-speed vibration feature.
Rings: No, not as in “Lord Of The”. Though they really are a man’s best friend. I’m talking about cock rings. When you’re aroused blood fills inside your penis helping to cause erections. A cock ring slows the release of this blood causing your penis to remain harder longer. This allows increased sexy time. I like to shake things up and make it a vibrating cock ring, it not only makes your orgasm more intense (whether you’re masturbating or having intercourse) but it feels like you have multiple hands on your jimmy. Take a look at the Sonic Ring, also Trojan has some nice one-time use vibrating rings.
Prostate Stimulators: It’s no secret that men have a number of erogenous zones. The perineum is that area of skin in between your testicles and your anus. Believe it or not, that’s an area that’s worth exploring. Since it’s on the outside, near your P-Spot, pressure or attention to this area during ejaculation could result in very intense ejaculations. If you pressed on this area you’ll thank yourself – and, if you are daring, a small vibrator would do wonders for that landing strip. The male P-spot is located inside of your anus. You yourself can figure out how to explore that area. But, for your P-spot, a stimulator helps. The Aneros Prostate Stimulator is one of many that is available and takes all the work out of finding your spot yourself.
Boys, toys aren’t just for the ladies. Why should they have all the fun by themselves with their jack rabbits, and tons of other toys? Boys, the next time you get out your porn, lube and tissues, bring out one of these toys. You’ll be screaming for more.
November 11, 2008 http://www.collegenews.com
SATIRE: Bitch can't afford batteries for her vibrator due to bad economy
The current state of the economy is a major turnoff for 21-year-old local resident Jenna Buzzins. The freak used to go through two 8-packs of Energizer AAA batteries a week, and much like the Energizer Bunny, she'd keep going and going Now she's forced to cut back a little, due to her having an empty pocket book.
"Ugh, I hate it. I'm out of batteries and haven't used my toy all week," Buzzins said. "I'm about to lose my mind."
Batteries have been the biggest problem for the horny bitch this year, as her part-time job between classes isn't enough to cover the costs of her sex toy addiction.
"I soon realized I couldn't cut out gas, cigarettes, alcohol and food from my limited budget, so I had to limit the amount of batteries I used."
She's now down to one pack of batteries a week. They only last two days.
When asked what she was going to do, she said she considered going out and banging some random guy, but then realized she would probably end up wanting a relationship with the first guy she saw, and he would eventually get a restraining order on her crazy ass.
Buzzins' best friend, Cassie Lynn Martinez, also has a sex toy, but says she only uses it twice a week because she "has a fuckin life"
Martinez, who seemed more like an enemy than a friend to Buzzins, showed little sympathy for the current rut that has stricken her "friend."
"She just needs to get over the past and stop acting like a whiny bitch," she said. "If she'd stop being so pathetic, she could probably go out and get laid, and then she wouldn't need to go through batteries like a drunk goes through whiskey."
Moments after Martinez left, Buzzins came back in the room with tears in her eyes, having overheard the interview.
"I thought she was my friend," the teary-eyed bitch cried out. "What is wrong with me? Why doesn't anybody like me?"
After smoking a Marlboro and bitching endlessly, she continued whining about not having batteries.
"God damn it, why do batteries have to be so much?" she asked. "Will you get me some batteries?"
After her request for batteries was denied, she became upset and requested the interview end. When asked why she didn't just get rechargeable batteries, her face seemed to brighten up a little.
"Wow, I never even thought about that," she said. "It sounds like a lot of trouble though."
In the meantime, she will learn to deal with a life without pleasure, her sex toy sitting on her night stand with dead Energizers that had their life buzzed out of them long ago.
November 5, 2008 http://www.thespoof.com
Sex-toy parties in the privacy of home
Carin Kronheim, a sex-toy party salesgirl, greets all of her clients with a smile and not a smirk.
Kronheim knows how to make her customers feel at ease while showing them the latest in sex-toy products.
She starts the night at her client's house by playing a game, passing out 10 pieces of candy corn and pink M&M's to the seven wide-eyed women in the room.
"Every time I mention a sexual organ, you have to eat a piece of candy. First person to finish their candy wins," Kronheim instructs the audience.
Ten minutes later, the game has been won. Kronheim extends the purple bag filled with prizes to the lucky winner, who in turn pulls out a small bottle of lotion.
Now that everyone in the room is feeling comfortable, Kronheim brings out the toys.
There they are, in every shade of the girly rainbow. There's purple, scented candles, a red heart-shaped massager and of course, baby-pink sex toys.
The party guests are then allowed to touch, grab, sniff and even taste some of the sex toy products. Nothing is off-limits; nothing is "taboo."
Sex-toy parties have become increasingly popular among American men and women. According to a study presented to the American Sociological Association, Americans spend about $1.2 billion dollars a year on sex toys.
In recent years, the adult toy industry has seen a huge surge in the number of female-owned sex toy party companies, like Athena's Home Novelties.
These companies often model their business strategy after the "Tupperware party" method. After the sex-toy show, salespeople are supposed to recruit men and women to work for their company, usually by showing them a brief informational video and answering questions.
Kronheim is just one of 2,000 "goddesses" working independently for Athena's Home Novelties, a sex-toy party company based in Rhode Island. Selling sex toys literally door-to-door gives Kronheim, a UCF marketing sophomore, the freedom to set her own hours while making a little extra cash on the side.
Because of the increasing number of parties, sex toys are becoming less scarce in the bedroom. Sex-toy parties offer women a chance to explore their own sexuality in the privacy and comfort of their own homes, without judgment from others.
"I think it's a healthy thing for a woman to acknowledge her own sexual desires, and realize that other women out there are too," Randy Fisher, a psychology professor specializing in human sexuality said. "Sexual openness and communication are good things.
"If [a group of women] have a cooking club, you wouldn't ask 'do you think it's healthy for them to get together and swap recipes?' "
Perhaps the reason why many women don't want to attend a sex-toy party is because they're afraid of what the party will be like, Fisher said.
"It's not what you would think," Kronheim argued. "A lot of people think it's going to be cheap and trashy, but it's just so much fun and everything is done with class."
Sex-toy parties are usually thrown at a residence by a hostess. The salesperson arrives at the party, demonstrates each toy in a show-like format, and then afterwards, takes each customer into a separate, secluded room. The customer then has the opportunity to buy whatever she (or he) wants privately.
Sex-toy parties are usually hosted by women, Kronheim said, but they can also be hosted by couples, homosexual men or homosexual women.
"It's more comfortable [at sex-toy parties]," Christine Steele, a UCF graduate and recently married woman said. "You don't feel like people are watching you ."
All products are then shipped to the hostess' residence in separated boxes. It is the hostess's responsibility to call each guest and let them know their special package has arrived. The only thing the hostess will ever find out is the size of the individual's box.
But while buying sex toys at a party is private, it can sometimes be expensive.
The "butterfly kiss" vibrator, Athena's number two best selling product, costs $25. More specialized products, like the "sex stool" will cost a hefty $100 plus shipping costs, according to Athena's catalog.
Comparatively, buying the "butterfly kiss" at Fairvilla Megastore, a local adult-entertainment store, will cost about $19, according to the Web site.
However, buying a sex toy at an adult store underneath harsh fluorescent lightning can be a little too daunting. Buying sex toys from a goddess gives the customer the opportunity to ask questions she or he may be too afraid to ask at an adult store.
"If you want to buy a toy, you're not going to go up to the guy that works there and say 'hey which one of these anal beads is the best to use?'" Kronheim said. "You don't even want people to know you're buying it."
In order to become a goddess for Athena's, Kronheim had to undergo extensive training that required her to learn the male and female anatomy -- literally inside and out.
"We're really big on education and making sure you know how to use a product," Kronheim said. "If a customer asks 'can I put this here,' I want to be sure I can give the answer."
And sex-toy parties can be profitable for adult stores like Fairvilla as well. According to Fairvilla's sex-toy buyer Debra Peterson, sex-toy parties help women and men feel more comfortable about going into an adult store and buying sex toys.
"There are still people who are afraid to go into a [adult] store," Peterson said. "Yet, [sex toy parties] touch women. You may not be able to do that anywhere else."
November 7, 2008 http://media.www.centralfloridafuture.com
After Prop 8, Future of Gay Marriages Unclear
When UC Berkeley junior Ivan Sanz witnessed his brother's wedding in
August, he didn't realize that the union may not legally stand the test
of time.
With the passage of California State Proposition 8 Tuesday, many similar marriages may now come under question.
"It's just sad now because all of those rights that he and his
husband gained were taken away," Sanz said. "What do you say to someone
who has been stripped of their rights?"
This May, the California Supreme Court overturned Proposition
22, a proposition from 2000 that refused to recognize gay marriages
from other states. However, yesterday's passage of Proposition 8 not
only effectively reinstated Proposition 22 but also went a step further
to define marriage as a union solely between a man and a woman.
Eight years ago, the ban passed with a 61.4 percent majority,
compared to Tuesday's totals that approved Proposition 8 by 52.5
percent.
Same-sex couples who were married following the Supreme Court
decision in May now face an uncertain future after Californians voted
Tuesday to ban gay marriage.
Boalt Hall School of Law lecturer-in-residence Joan Hollinger
said that supporters of Proposition 8 could theoretically take cases to
court in an effort to nullify gay marriages that occurred between May
and November of this year.
"No one really knows what will happen," she said.
However, Hollinger said she does not think that those suits would be successful.
"The decision of most of the people I've spoken to is that the
marriages- and I'm told there's over 18,000 of them that have occurred
between the time of the Supreme Court decisions and yesterday-are going
to remain valid marriages," Hollinger said. "It would be most unusual
for a constitutional amendment to apply retroactively."
In contrast to the rest of the state, Proposition 8 did not
pass in Alameda County. The proposal was defeated by 61.9 percent of
local voters.
In February 2004, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom ordered the
city to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. The 3,955 unions
were invalidated in August of that year when the California Supreme
Court ruled that Newsom did not have the authority to distribute
licenses. However, the Supreme Court lifted the ban on gay marriage,
this time for the entire state, in May of that year.
But, after Tuesday's election, the state constitution would have to be modified in order to reinstate same-sex marriages.
Hollinger said there will be difficulties for same-sex spouses, even if their marriages are upheld.
"Do they have to carry around their certified marriage document
to prove the day and the hour that they were married?" she said. "Will
the bank accept the deposit in spouse and spouse terms? You don't know.
If the bank doesn't accept your status, what do you do?"
Some UC Berkeley students protested the proposition's passage
yesterday at noon, saying that the state proposition was a dampener on
their election experience.
"I feel very conflicted," said Carlo de la Cruz, academic
affairs vice president of the ASUC, at the rally. "I have renewed faith
in the country as a whole, but I don't know how to feel as a
Californian."
November 6, 2008 http://www.dailycal.org/
Sex and Presidential Politics
Just in time for the upcoming elections, The Kinsey Institute offers a glimpse of presidential politics from adult and underground media sources from its unique and rich collections.
Featuring magazines, tabloids, newspapers and newsletters from the later half of the 20th century, this exhibit reveals a different perspective on the elections - sometime humorous, and often out of sight from that of the mainstream media.
With a circulation of roughly 6 or 7 million adult subscribers, magazines such as Penthouse, Playboy, Playgirl, Hustler and Screw appealed to their readers as potential voters around the presidential election months. These adult media publishers contributed to electoral politics through headlines, editorials, political satires, interviews, covers and cartoons.
This exhibit of adult media and items highlights primary source materials in The Kinsey Institute library and art collection for scholars and researchers exploring all factors and forces that shape U.S. electoral politics.
"Sex and Presidential Politics" is part of the Indiana University Libraries’ “Politics and Presidents: A Month-Long Celebration of Archives and Special Collections.”
The exhibit runs from September 29, 2008 to January, 23, 2009 at The Kinsey Institute, Morrison Hall, with a reception from 5-7 pm on September 26. The reception is sponsored by Indiana University Libraries. Exhibit hours are weekdays from 2 pm to 4 pm.
November 5, 2008 http://kinseyinstitute.org
Head O State: The 'Official' Obama Pleasure Toy & Other Sex Toys
Our past cover story about the sexualization of Obama (and other candidates) got some folks hot and bothered. "I've never thought of Obama as a sexual figure," one person told me. "This should be about the issues, not about sex," said another. Of course, that was exactly the point, to remind people to stop dreaming of sleeping with Obama, and start listening to the issues.
If they really don't believe that sex is part of the deal, then why would someone create a dildo shaped into the likeness of Obama? Well, it's not really that great a likeness (resembling some sort of Fat Albert character rather than the "post-racial" Obama), but the fact remains that there's something sexy when it comes to Obama and everyone is trying to capitalize on it.
Babeland is also getting in on the action by offering men and women incentives if they vote. All you have to do is present your voting stub or "word of honor" between Nov. 4-11 and receive a "Maverick," a "sleeve" for self-pleasuring or women can choose the ever-popular “Silver Bullet” mini-vibrator. Sex toys and elections? Yeah, keep dreaming if you think our political system isn't directly involved with people's ideas of what's sexy. It's old news that power is sexy and who can seem more powerful than the person running the country? Have you forgotten about Monica Lewinsky so soon?
November 3, 2008
http://www.nypress.com
Free sex toys — and much more — for voting
Just when you thought it was safe to focus on the issues in this historic election season, a chain of sex toy shops has joined retailers, restaurateurs and other businesses across the nation in the time-honored tradition of rewarding Americans who go to the polls.
Babeland, with stores in New York, Los Angeles and Seattle, is offering a pair of self-gratifying incentives for voters who present their registration cards, ballot stubs or “word of honor” that they voted next Tuesday.
The rewards are no-so-subtle reminders of this year’s campaign rhetoric. For men, it’s the “Maverick,” a "sleeve" for self-pleasuring. According to a press release, “He’s always there to lend a hand, he works for every man, and he bucks the status quo.” Women can choose the “Silver Bullet” mini-vibrator, which is “a magical solution to difficult problems” and “a great stress-reliever during these troubled economic times!” The promotion lasts through Nov. 11.
Babeland spokeswoman Pamela Doan told msnbc.com in an interview that the promotion is a first for the company, which she describes as “a sex-positive, women-friendly retailer for sex toys and accessories.”
Although the company is relying on press releases and bloggers to get the word out, “We’re expecting a good response,” Doan said. “Both of these toys are very popular. The Maverick retails for $20 and the Silver Bullet retails for $15. It’s a good reward.”
'Sex crosses party lines'
As to whether Babeland expects voters who take them up on the offer to lean one way or the other politically, Doan said, “Sex crosses party lines. … We’ve tried to make this into a nonpartisan reward because we welcome everyone. That’s our philosophy and our mission. We didn’t want to reward only Obama supporters. We have a lot of Republicans who shop at Babeland too.”
If the sex toys don’t float your vote, there are plenty of other less racy rewards to choose from in the afterglow of casting your ballot.
How about a free cup of Joe? Eat’n Park outlets in Pennsylvania, Ohio and West Virginia are among many U.S. restaurants offering complimentary coffee to anyone who presents a ballot stub or “I Voted” sticker. The promotion lasts from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m. Tuesday.
Voters can get a beer on the house at Todd Conner’s pub in Baltimore’s historic Fells Point neighborhood.
Those with a sweet tooth can stop by participating Krispy Kreme or Ben & Jerry’s locations to receive special treats. Krispy Kreme will be handing out star-shaped doughnuts with red, white, and blue sprinkles, one each, to voters, while Ben & Jerry’s is serving up free scoops of ice cream to everyone who shows up on Election Day between 5 and 8 p.m., whether they voted or not.
But just as voters should weigh carefully the seemingly endless promises of politicians as they make their decisions at the ballot box, they should also read the fine print on Election Day rewards.
Take the offer extended to voters by Zov’s, a three-cafe chain in Southern California. “Show us your ‘I Voted’ sticker and enjoy a free slice of Zov’s All-American Apple Pie,” it says on its Web site.
To borrow from a past president, that all depends on what the definition of “free” is.
To score the pie, you must not only prove you voted, but also “buy any menu item, or order Zov’s family take-out dinner for 2 or 4.”
November 3, 2008 http://www.msnbc.msn.com
Columbia University Students Titillate With Raunchy New 'C-Spot' Magazine
Columbia students trying to prove that scholarship can be sexy have launched a salacious magazine featuring strip-club reviews, Internet porn recommendations and nude pictures of students steamy enough to wilt ivy.
The debut issue of "C-Spot" features titillatingly titled articles like "The Origins of the Vibrator" and "Youporn.com."
In one piece headlined "My Nails Are Red," the writer pens a graphic description of her rough sex with Wall Street guys who choke her with their "expensive ties."
The carnal-minded coeds might be uninhibited on paper, but the vast majority chose to remain anonymous for their exposés.
Senior Scott Nowers, 22, saw the issue and found it "surprisingly intellectual."
In addition to the stories, there also are a dozen photos of male and female students using props like preppy scarves and books to hide their naughty bits.
Editor-in-chief Hoang Jessica Tang is looking for a range of students to contribute to the erotic review.
"We need critical essayists to examine how the Internet has directly and indirectly influenced our sexuality," she wrote in her debut editor's letter. "We need students to review . . . swinger and fetish parties in New York."
She pointed out that the magazine "is not sponsored, sanctioned or promoted in any way by Columbia, its administration, its faculty, or any other official representative."
A spokesman for Columbia had no comment.
Student David Billingsley, 21, hopes the magazine doesn't give people the wrong impression about the prestigious school.
"I hope it doesn't add to our reputation as a sex-crazed campus," he said, "because we're not."
October 31, 2008 http://www.foxnews.com/
FLAVOR OF THE WEEK: TAKE MY VIBRATOR, PLEASE!
Somewhere on New York City’s streets, there is a homeless woman who has my vibrator. The first sex toy I ever bought, I accidentally parted ways with it while moving out of my Hell’s Kitchen apartment. Fortunately, “losing it” can be very liberating.
I was raised Southern Baptist, and no one ever talked to me about genital self-play. So I didn’t ask about it and didn’t cum until I was a 22-year-old graduate student living in Florida. “What do you mean you don’t own a vibrator,” my friend Sydana asked in a tone that suggested, to me, utter disbelief. “Girl, you need to go out and buy one today!”
So I walked into Rick’s Toy Store—a typical one-stop porno shop with DVDs, blow up dolls, condoms and furry handcuffs in college town Tallahassee, Fla. As I stood in the aisle fingering and poking the collection of packaged delights, a male associate noticed I was visibly uncomfortable. He was about 5-foot-8, 145 pounds, built and had dark brown skin clothed in baggy jeans and a white Dolce & Gabbana shirt. He was handsome with black, over-styled, gelled hair that refused to move. I like pretty boys, but he was slightly too smooth for even my liking.
I had a Rabbit vibrator in my left hand when the Nuevo Rico Suave slinked over to me and asked, “Do you want me to show you how to use it?” I thought he was propositioning me. Horror must have flashed across my face because he quickly unwrapped the toy, inserted a handful of C batteries, turned the device on and demoed the product by fucking the air, not me.
That night, as I felt my lower pelvic muscles contract and shiver for the first time, I knew I’d found something special in my new battery-operated boyfriend. He had a white sticker on the bottom that read “Imported from Sweden.” I named him Denzel, and I supplied him with ample batteries and meticulous cleanings with fluffy white cotton balls and safe solvents that reeked of rubbing alcohol.
In the beginning, Denzel and I used each other for sex: When I was horny, he got me off. Like many new couples, however, we grew to love each other, settling in over time. Eventually, when I traveled for work or ventured back to Chicago to visit my friends and family, I brought Denzel with me. Although I never properly introduced him to anyone, it was comforting to know he was there if I needed him. Alone together in my apartment after return flights home, he always caressed my most sensitive areas and hummed me to sleep in my bed.
I took other lovers while we were together, but none of them seemed as focused on bringing me pleasure as he was. Denzel taught me how to satisfy myself and, subsequently, I learned how to teach men about gratifying me using their natural gear. With him, somehow it was always about me. My needs. My pleasure. My orgasm.
Five years later, Denzel and I were living together in a cozy, rent-stabilized studio apartment near the corner of West 56th Street and 9th Avenue. Pissed that the mice were living in my apartment for free while I (a starving freelance writer) had to foot the $1,350 bill, I left the neighborhood when the landlord elevated the rent by 30 percent.
I used cardboard boxes and clear rolls of heavy-duty tape to divide my belongings into “Things I Want to Keep” and “Things I Want to Give Away.” I took the box of giveaways downstairs to the curb. As with anything left unattended in this city, it disappeared within minutes.
In a fit of utter madness and confusion that only comes with moving, I accidentally put the goody box Denzel was packed in on the curb instead of the box of giveaways. How did that happen?
My lack of attention to details in my personal life, the lookalike cardboard boxes and the hurried last-minute packing meant I accidentally and literally kicked Denzel to the curb. I didn’t realize it until later that night. But it was too late.
Gone. The most important item in the sea of brown boxes had vanished.
I could live with the fact that I have to replace my oscillating toothbrush, organic Italian shampoo and other personal items. It just felt strange to know there was possibly a homeless woman healing the cracks in her lips with my cherry-flavored Chapstick while getting off with my electrified wand of joy.
Although I lost my lover to another, the lessons he taught me remain. Why the hell do I always discover so much about myself after a relationship ends?
When I eventually purchased Denzel’s replacement, I inquired about the presence of toxic chemicals in imported plastic as well as the difference between G-Spot and clitoral vibrators. (In case anyone wondered, one makes me purr and the other makes me seriously consider meowing.) Had I known how much I would learn about my sexual health by buying and subsequently losing my first sex toy, I would have pinned a note that read, “Take My Vibrator, Please!” on the ill-fated box. But, that’s OK. I move fast.
My new lover is Chinese. We met at the Babeland on Mercer. I call him Mr. Teo Wai (pronounced: T-O-Y), and we’ve been living together for almost year. He’s a keeper.
Twanna A. Hines is a writer, blogger and sexpot. She blogs semi-daily juicy bits at www.funkybrownchick.com.
October 30, 2008 http://www.nypress.com
Reese Witherspoon's sex shop splurge
Reese Witherspoon went on a spending spree in a London sex shop.
The 32-year-old actress reportedly spent £656 on sexy lingerie in Myla - which stocks underwear and sex toys - while visiting the UK city with boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal recently.
The 10-minute shop saw Reese splash out on four garments, much to the delight of the Brokeback Mountain actor.
A source told More magazine: "She bought two Trudie camisoles for £199 each and two pairs of Trudie shorts at £129 each, in two different colours - blush pink and grey.
Reese was lovely, chatty and down to earth, while Jake couldn't stop smiling."
Although Reese has now returned to her native US to look after her children - Ava, nine and four-year-old Deacon with ex-husband Ryan Philippe - she is rumoured to be planning to buy a house in the UK with Jake, 27.
An estate agent recently revealed she and Jake have been looking for a house in London's exclusive Mayfair district.
The estate agent said: "Reese liked places where the entrance wasn't on the street, she was concerned with security issues.
"That's not easy to find in central London, but we came up with a few places they both seemed to like."
October 23, 2008 http://www.theage.com.au
Pamela Tames: Are You Addicted To Your Vibrator?
The other night I was out with the girls. We popped into the health club for a quick steam and then to the hotel bar across the road for drinks and dinner under palm trees and stars. It was very romantic.
As we sat around the table, conversation sparking like a hundred firecrackers, a thought stuck me. How could three good-looking, fun, accomplished women be not only single on a Saturday night but also completely unconcerned about the singleness of our lives?
It was as though, somewhere along the way, we had lost interest in the dating dance. If only you could go from love at first sight to happily ever after with none of the “getting to know you” stuff in between. And, if you couldn’t, no biggie either: solitude has many virtues.
Maybe we had set our sights too high. Leigh, a tall fifty-year-old woman with shoulder length brown hair and bedroom eyes said she was still looking for her knight in shining armor.
“Isn’t he dead yet?” I said.
Leigh shot me a dirty look. “My parents have that kind of relationship. Why can’t I?”
“Because, Leigh,” I said smugly, “How can Mr. Knight become Mr. Right when he doesn’t even exist?”
“How do you know that?” Gina piped up, flicking her wavy blonde hair off her face. “We’re not all as jaded as you are, Pam.”
I stared at her. “Oh no,” I said suspicion rising. “Don’t tell me you’ve got Knight Fever, too?”
Gina grinned at me. “No,” she said. “I’ve settled for Mr. Sex Just Right.”
Leigh and I sat forward in our seats, all ears. “Continue,” I advised with a queenly wave of the hand.
“Well,” said Gina taking in a deep breath. “I met this fantastic guy but there’s one problem. I can’t seem to come without my vibrator.”
“Oh,” I said heavily. “That is serious. If a guy can’t compete with a vibrator, he hasn’t got a hope in hell.”
“Oh, stop, Pam,” ordered Leigh disapprovingly. She turned to Gina and touched her arm consolingly. “Does he know what he’s doing in bed?” asked Leigh.
“Yes, yes, he’s a great lover,” said Gina.
“Maybe he just doesn’t like threesomes,” I said, “And is afraid to tell you.”
“He said he doesn’t mind the vibrator,” said Gina.
“Doesn’t ‘mind’ the vibrator?” challenged Leigh. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“There are only two courses of action,” I announced slapping the table with authority. “Either you’re addicted to your vibrator, which believe me, is nothing to be ashamed of—“
“Or?” asked Gina waving me onto the next point.
I crossed my legs and leaned back in my chair, intertwining my fingers behind my head. “Or,” I continued. “This is a classic case of the V-shortcut syndrome.”
Gina rolled her eyes and looked at Leigh. “I never know what she’s talking about.” Gina looked back at me. “What are you talking about?”
“V as in vibrator, ladies,” I explained. “The V-shortcut allows you to bypass any discomfort and anxiety you may have being with a new sexual partner. It also has the added benefit of bypassing his ineptitude, should there be any.” I leaned in for effect. “And, let’s face it, there almost always is.”
Gina and Leigh stared open mouthed, shaking their heads with confusion.
“In other words,” I went on. “It’s a performance prop—
for him. You come quickly and he feels like his penis is almighty and all-powerful. I hate to tell you this, Gina, but you’re a Penis Pleaser.”
“A what?” said Gina stunned.
“A penis pleaser,” I said. “It’s part of the syndrome.”
“I thought that’s what you said,” said Gina bursting into laughter. “You’re insane.”
“Mark my words, girls,” I said with a know-it-all smile. “It won’t be long before there are 12-step programs for vibrator addiction due to overly zealous penis pleasing.”
“Oh tell me, Mistress Pammy,” mocked Gina. “What’s the cure?”
“Talk to the penis, Gina.” I said with a definitive shake of the head. “Talk to the penis. Tell it who’s really in charge.”
Do you worry about being addicted to your vibrator? Is your partner getting jealous because of all the pleasure you’re having by yourself? Or, has your vibrator become your significant other? Please share your thoughts at www.EmpowHer.com/share.
October 28, 2008
http://empowher.com
10 things to know before buying a vibrator
Should it be made of glass, rubber or jelly? What do women over 40 need? Here, essential (and amusing) knowledge.
1. In 1883 Joseph Mortimer Granville, a British doctor, patented the first electromechanical vibrator. It was sold as a cure for “hysteria”, a condition with familiar symptoms, such as rapid heart rate, sexual fantasies, pelvic heaviness, vaginal lubrication, impulse purchasing, etc.
2. When portable “massagers” began starring in Thirties porn films, vibrators were branded immoral. They didn't reappear until the Sixties, long after the announcement by the American Medical Association in 1952 that “hysteria” was not a clinical diagnosis but a female orgasm.
3. In 1998 the Rabbit vibrator made an appearance on Sex and The City and subsequently became, and still is, the world's bestselling sex toy.
4. In 1999 the sex shop chain Ann Summers launched online and sold one million vibrators in the UK in the first year.
5. For obvious reasons you can't try “before you buy”, but you can watch product demos on www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys-tv , and read user reviews at www.lovehoney.co.uk/ orgasmarmy .
6. Because they are classed as “novelty” items, the plastics used in sex toys are largely unregulated. A study in 2000 by Hans Ulrich Krieg, a German chemist, identified ten dangerous chemicals leaching out of European sex toys made of jelly and rubber. Phthalates that are used to soften plastic in vibrators may be linked to cancer and infertility, but reputable retailers and manufacturers voluntarily inform customers about phthalate-free sex toys.
7. If you are concerned about phthalates, have sensitive skin, or are prone to yeast infections, choose elastomer, silicone, or glass toys, or use polyurethane condoms over jelly/rubber sex toys.
8. Women over 40 need more powerful vibrators, according to the psychotherapist Julia Cole, who designed the Emotional Bliss (www.emotionalbliss.co.uk) range. With 6,000 vibrations a minute, the Hitachi Magic Wand (www.loveshackuk.com, £44.95) won't disappoint. Check the intensity of the leading brand vibrators at www.mybodyvibes.com/ guidance/vibrator_intensity.html.
9. Buy the lockable Adult Toybox Sex Toy Case, £24.99, from www.lovehoney.co.uk to keep your vibrator away from prying eyes.
10. Two million sex toys are sold in the UK every year. That's a lot of landfill, so join the Rabbit Amnesty at www.lovehoney.co.uk/rabbit- amnesty. Send them your old Rabbit and they will recycle it, give you a new one half price, and donate £1 to The World Land Trust. Yes!
October 27, 2008
Suzi Godson
http://women.timesonline.co.uk
Fans' sexy toys heckle player's sexy back
STOCKHOLM, Sweden, Oct. 22 (UPI) -- Hockey fans in Stockholm, Sweden, heckled a visiting defenseman, hoping to rattle his performance on the ice by reminding him of his performance in bed.
Supporters of the Stockholm AIK team heckled Jan Huokko of the Leksand hockey club by reminding the visitor -- and a former AIK player -- of a summer sex scandal by tossing dildos, profane banners and an inflatable penis onto the ice, The Local reported.
In June, a blue movie of the blueliner and his girlfriend found its way to the Internet.
Huokko said he recorded the amorous clip on his cell phone and wasn't surprised it was posted after the phone was stolen.
"It was a private thing between me and my girl," he said at the time. "That's what people do when it comes to sex."
Lars Karlsson, an official with Sweden's ice hockey association, called the sex-toy toss "a non-issue" that didn't affect the game, which AIK won 3-2.
October 24, 2008
http://www.upi.com/
Spanish Town Hall gives classes on how to use a vibrator
Roses Town Hall has organised the week-long course in January.
The Town Hall in Roses, Girona is organising a workshop for youngsters on how to use a vibrator. The course is led by professor Orit Kruglanski and will start from basics where the over 18’s will be shown how to make their own vibrator from recycled materials.
Councillor of Education in Roses Town Hall, Carles Ferrer, said that what seems like a joke in fact can hide much more serious problems regarding sexual education, such as unwanted pregnancies. He said he wanted to see those youngsters who attend to talk about the content with their families.
The course, which is free for local residents, will run between the 23 and 30 of January. So far five people have signed up.
October 23, 2008 http://www.typicallyspanish.com
Miss Venus spotted buying a pink vibrator
Janine Brielmann was voted Miss Venus 2008 at the world's biggest erotic trade fair - and then headed straight for a sex toy stand to buy a vibrator!
BILD reader George Munyiri (39), a mechanic from Berlin, snapped the new Miss Venus at the stall. Janine (25) had been elected just two hours before and was still wearing her sash.
Her first official business: Janine bought herself a pink vibrator for 35 euro. “I already have the blue one” claimed Miss Venus.
The buxom beauty later told BILD: “I had the vibrator put aside at the beginning of the fair and picked it up after I was elected. I bought it for me and my boyfriend, but I’m not going to say anymore.”
Will we be seeing some hot photos of Janine in the near future?
Miss Venus added: “I would only let myself be photographed naked for Playboy, I won’t be making a porno.”
The erotic fair wouldn’t be the same without old playboy Rolf Eden (78), the legendary Berlin nightclub owner. He was also holding what looked like a dildo.
A dildo? Why would Mr. "I’ve had more than 5000 women” Eden need a sex toy?
This is what BILD asked the Berlin sexpert!
Eden laughed it off: “No, that wasn’t a dildo, but a stimulating pineapple cocktail. I bought it from one of the stands for €5 and you drink it out of a special plastic container. Maybe it really does put you in the mood for sex.”
October 21, 2008 http://www.bild.de
You've Got Mail ... and an STD
If a card that reads "you're too hot to be out of action -– I got diagnosed with herpes since we played" ends up in your inbox, think twice before marking it spam.
A public health Web site called Inspot.org has put the trend of e-cards, e-mail, and e-vites to a unique purpose: the e-postcard that notifies you that a past sexual partner came down with a sexually transmitted disease or infection.
The sender can choose the STD, and whether to disclose their name, while Inspot.org will automatically send a list of local health resources to the recipient.
"Believe it or not, I thought I'd rather get something telling me than not," said Susan, who lives with herpes and runs the herpes support group HELP in Manchester, Conn.
"But then, the first reaction was, is this for real or is this a sick joke from somebody?" said Susan, who asked that ABCNews.com not use her full name.
Opinions may vary about the e-cards, but the trend is growing, according to a study by the site's creators in the Internet Sexuality Information Services online journal.
A Growing Trend
Since the site's launch in 2004, more than 30,000 people have sent a total of more than 49,500 e-cards. Inspot.org has been adapted by eight major metropolitan areas, nine states, and two international areas (including Romania) for both homosexual and heterosexual couples.
"It's kind of like the e-vite for party notifications, but this is for STD notifications," said Dr. Jeffrey Klausner of the San Francisco Department of Public Health.
It was Klausner who approached the technology-savvy public health group I.S.I.S. Inc. in the early 2000s to help him develop the site.
"In 1999, I discovered an outbreak of syphilis related to an AOL chatroom," Klausner said. Just a year before, San Francisco had eight cases of syphilis a year. By the end of 2004, Klausner said, the city had 550 reported cases.
After tracing the outbreaks to the chatroom, Klausner and colleagues at I.S.I.S. Inc decided to use the same type of communication that facilitated the hook-ups to help resolve the situation.
Using Technolgy For STDs
"We were seeing these things and thought there must be a way we can use technology as a means of prevention, not just a transmission tool," said Deb Levine, the executive director of I.S.I.S. Inc.
According to Levine and Klausner's survey of 833 gay men and men who had had sex with other men in San Francisco, 73 percent would recommend sending an anonymous e-card if they had to notify past partners about STDs.
Levine said focus groups in Philadelphia and Indianapolis indicated that the e-cards might be a good idea for heterosexual people, too.
But, Susan, who estimates she has counseled or spoken with more than 1,000 people diagnosed with herpes in Connecticut, isn't so sure.
"In general, we in the office thought, 'Oh -- it's kind of a way of telling somebody,'" she said. "The next thought would be, 'Would I just delete this or would this drive me crazy because who could this possibly have been from?'
"If somebody doesn't care enough to tell me in person, then it's kind of a slap in the face," she added.
How You Disclose an STD Matters
Gail Wyatt, a clinical psychologist, sex therapist and professor in the department of psychiatry and biobehavioral sciences at the University of California in Los Angeles, couldn't agree more.
"It would be very psychologically damaging to someone who thought they had a relationship with an individual and then they end up with an e-mail like this," said Wyatt. "I think they're sarcastic, I think they're making light of a very serious situation."
Yet, Wyatt understands why people would choose an e-card to tell their partner. She said much of the problem with spreading STDs, and with treating them, revolves around stigma.
"There's no real protocol for how to discuss sex in our society, so usually people don't talk about their STD history," Wyatt said. "They usually assume, and they're right sometimes, that they'll be discriminated against. ... So people usually keep it private until it's discovered."
Despite that stigma, Wyatt thinks the best way to tell a person about an STD is the old fashioned way: in person.
Reducing the Stigma of STDs
"The best way to disclose it, I think, is to call the person and ask to speak with them," Wyatt said. "Don't leave messages, or leave e-mails that could be looked upon by somebody else ... and I think some feelings of compassion should be expressed."
When it comes to stigma, Betsy O'Rourke, a registered nurse and the American Social Health Association herpes message board moderator, thinks people might do better to relax, especially when it is a non-fatal disease.
"You go to the grocery store and somebody's coughing all over your change and you get sick a couple of days later ... or you go to a locker room at a gym and get a wart on your foot and you say, 'oh, well,'" she said.
"You think you have sex -- and you're naked, sweating and exchanging body fluids -- and you don't think you're going to get sick?" O'Rourke said.
Given her experience moderating the herpes chatroom, O'Rourke said she sees tremendous potential in the anonymous cards.
"I think they're absolutely wonderful," she said. "One of the most popular questions I get on the board, is 'How do I talk with partner ... I wish (the e-cards) would be more widespread."
Although the Inspot.org site is catching on, and I.S.I.S. is working on a national database of testing clinics to expand the service, Klausner said the idea of a third party notifying past partners is nothing new.
"Since 1930, by law, all public health departments have inquired and notified past partners of people with confirmed cases (of STDs)," he said. "Unfortunately, over the past few years, the resources to do this have disappeared."
STI Awareness Only Goes So Far
While funding has dropped, STDs numbers have certainly remained steady. According to Klausner, 10,000 cases of syphilis are reported each year in the United States, and 50,000 cases of HIV infections are reported.
Those numbers may be small enough for public health departments to notify past sexual partners, but Klausner said the magnitude of other diseases is overpowering: 300,000 cases of gonorrhea a year and 1 million cases of Chlamydia reported, with a likely 2 million more unreported.
To Klausner, an e-notification site only addresses a small fraction of the awareness problem, and an even smaller fraction of the larger problem of STD transmission.
"Awareness is a piece of this, but because many of these infections people have but don't know it, it's really about screening," he said.
Klausner said 80 percent of sexually transmitted infections are asymptomatic; so, many people unknowingly pass a disease even before the problem of stigma or embarrassments comes up.
"It's part of the 'hidden epidemic,'" he said.
October 21, 2008 Lauren Cox http://abcnews.go.com
Mum's the Word on Prop 8
Editor’s Note: Churches have thrown their money and muscle behind Proposition 8 which would eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. But essayist Richard Rodriguez says the real energy has moved away from the pulpit and into the homes. Richard Rodriguez is the author of Brown – The Last Discovery of America.
In the end it might come down to our mothers.
In a few weeks California voters get to vote on Proposition 8 which could eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. Richard RodriguezAs the polls seesaw, noted author Richard Rodriguez is pinning his hopes on mothers. Over fifteen years ago he’d written about mothers arriving in San Francisco from small towns in the Midwest, clutching a scrap of paper with an address scribbled on it, to take care of sons with AIDS. A few weeks ago, Rodriguez says a woman came up to him in Utah. She said that as a Mormon she’d been always taught to honor her family. But her church is now telling her she must ostracize her gay son. “So the very church that tells me that family is crucial, is also telling me it’s not that crucial,” she told Rodriguez. “It’s often the mother, it’s very rarely the father, who says these things to you,” says Rodriguez reflectively.
Prop 8 Both sides in the fight over same sex marriage understand this. In an ad running in Indian and Pakistani magazines in California, Gurkirpal Kaur Dhillon, poses with her grandchild. “My grandkids, Mira and Kabir bring so much joy to my life,” says the white-haired suburban grandma. “But Prop 8 threatens to take away our right to a happy home by banning my son from marrying his life partner.” On the other side, a recent television commercial from the Yes on 8 camp shows a little girl running up to her mother telling her about how she learned in school that a prince can marry another prince.
Although the Mormon Church added its muscle to the Yes on 8 campaign, and the Catholic church just removed Father Geoffrey Farrow who came out as gay (and against Proposition 8) to his congregation, Rodriguez says the energy has moved away from the pulpit and into the home. “What’s radical right now in the gay community is not simply my love for (my partner) but the fact that so many gay friends of mine have children,” says Rodriguez. “In some ways the most radical figure is the daughter of Dick and Lynne Cheney who recently gave birth to a son, Samuel, which is a nice Biblical name.” Rodriguez admires the willingness of the Cheneys to acknowledge their grandson. “That’s where the energy’s going to come from,” he says. “It’s not going to come from within the liturgical circle. It’s going to come from communities no longer wanting to live with a child who’s on the outside.”
But it is also true that when Mayor Gavin Newsom started issuing marriage licenses to same sex couples in 2004 some of the strongest opposition came from some of the most family-oriented communities. Chinese Americans led the protest in San Francisco. Black churches and Hispanic preachers opposed it from the pulpit. But Rodriguez says having a gay child or grandchild complicates the issue. “My own family will vote against Prop 8 precisely because I am their uncle or brother or son. When the family dynamic takes over, orthodoxy gives way,” he says. “In families where there is a strong religious sense of family, for example my own, it would be impossible for me to sin my way out of my family.”
For Rodriguez it’s no coincidence that the fight over same sex marriage is happening at the same time as churches are wrestling with the role of women. Geoffrey Farrow in Fresno, in fact, told his congregation that the issue had been brought to the fore for him through conversations he’d had with women about the ordination of women priests. “These are simultaneous events – women are not going back to the kitchen and gays are not going back in the closet,” says Rodriguez. “Prop 8 is merely a last gasp movement to try to control what is already out of the door.”
For Rodriguez, the anxiety around same sex marriage is linked to the anxiety so many men feel about a world where so many women are raising boys and girls without a man around. “This Olympic swimmer (Michael Phelps) who is the hero of the world, and who is the stands cheering him on, but his mother?” he says. “It’s becoming more and more clear to me that the notion of family is going to become the mother’s prerogative. (Prop 8) is a last attempt by people who feel threatened by a world they cannot control.”
It doesn’t mean, he adds, that Prop 8 will not pass. But he says it’s important to remember that the word “marriage” really belongs not to sonnets and poetry, but in divorce courts. “The more powerful word is love, the more powerful concept is love, do I love you, do you love me?” he says.
Richard says the fight for the right to that word has moved out of the churches and into the homes. In Gay Pride Parades the biggest cheers these days are often not for the drag queens in feather boas but for lesbian soccer moms pushing their toddlers. In the Castro the protests about sex toys in shop windows come not from outraged churchgoers but gay dads. In his book Days of Obligation, Rodriguez wrote about the delicious irony of gay men challenging the foundations of domesticity while living in Victorian houses in San Francisco’s Castro district. As they now stand at the corner of 18th Street and Castro distributing No on 8 badges to protect marriage, could the Victorians be having the last laugh?
Rodriguez chuckles and says what is radical is that gay life has moved from “the Polk Street sex scene at night” to “the day time neighborhood of the Castro with its churches and dry cleaners.” “This is no longer something you do in the dark,” he says. “My sisters and brothers have in their wills that in the event of their deaths I am to raise their children. That assumes a kind of moral seriousness to my life which is more radical than the permission to have my sexual life in private, in the dark.”
October 20, 2008 http://news.newamericamedia.org
Man Charged With Assault After Injuring Police Officer With Sex Toy
A police officer patrolling the Bathurst 1000 Supercars event has been injured after being struck on the head with an adult sex toy.
A police spokesman said a 22-year-old man from Moss Vale launched at the male police officer who was seated inside a police vehicle and struck him in the head with the adult sex toy. The officer was un-injured.
The man was arrested and charged with assault police.
Meanwhile, police arrested and charged a 35-year-old man from St Helens Park for displaying pornographic material whilst camping at Mount Panorama for the Bathurst 1000.
At around 9pm last night the Public Order & Riot Squad police were conducting a foot patrol of the McPhillamy Park Campsite when they came across a man who was displaying pornographic material on a television which he had mounted on a home made trolley.
The man had been walking his trolley around the park displaying the material.
Police arrested and conveyed the man along with his trolley to the on site police station where he was questioned in relation to the offence. Police conducted a search of the man’s tent where they located and seized in excess of 20 pornographic DVD’s. The man was subsequently charged with displaying pornographic material.
Assistant Commissioner Shearer said, “Camping on the mountain are families with young children and for someone to deliberately walk around displaying pornographic material is completely unacceptable”
“Police are working tirelessly to ensure that the event remains a family friendly event where by all spectators can enjoy the V8 Super cars as they intended. The behaviour displayed by some individuals is extremely disappointing, however, overall the fans have been very well behaved”
Both men were issued banning notices and cannot return to the Mount Panorama racing precinct for the remainder of the event. The two men were bailed to appear at Bathurst Local Court on the 10 November.
October 17, 2008 http://www.news.com.au
Ask The Sexpert - Sex Toys
Dear Sexpert,
I'm not really enjoying masturbation and am looking to try something new. What kind of sex toy should I get for myself (I'm a woman), and where can I get one? I'd rather not have a box come to the package room marked "Vibrator"...
Seeking Stimulation
Dear Seeking,
A vibrator can be a great way to add some variety to your masturbation routine, and it's awesome that you're interested in exploring your options. Some of the more popular toys for women include a vibrator and a dildo; the difference being that a vibrator is battery-operated, whereas a dildo is not.
There aren't a lot of sex toy shops close to campus, but don't worry: You can order something online without getting a box that would be at all identifiable as a vibrator. Many websites guarantee that their products are sent in discreet packaging. You'll get a plain cardboard box with a return address that doesn't give away the package's contents.
Also, there are occasional sex-toy parties on campus - last year, Princeton Pro-Choice Vox hosted one, and it is planning to hold a third annual event this year, so stay tuned for that. Representatives from companies will bring in their products for people to see and hold, and you can order from the catalogues they pass out. This might not be for you, since the parties are public, but you can always mail in an order a few days later, after perusing your options.
Finally, you might find it fun to take a trip into New York to shop for a vibrator. Like a sex-toy party, this gives you a chance to hold items before you buy them and to see exact shapes and sizes.
If you do buy a vibrator, make sure you clean it with hot water after each use (consider using a condom on it to make things easier on yourself), and enjoy your purchase!
- The Sexpert
October 16, 2008 http://www.dailyprincetonian.com
Man Vending Machines: The Future Of Dating?
The people behind New Zealand website Flossie.com thought, “Why isn’t finding a man as easy as buying a can of Coke?” So, they decided to make it that simple by creating a vending machine that dispensed men in the buyer’s preferred type: classic, action, romantic, rich, foreign, and Mr. Perfect. (Mr. Perfect is a vibrator.)
They installed the vending machine on a sidewalk, and as people passed by, they got a big, surprise when they pushed a button and a man bearing flowers walked out. In a little over 30 minutes, all of the men had been dispensed, and 200 vibrators had homes. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could push a button that read “Adventurous Music- And Book-Loving Slightly Bearded Cute Boy” and out one came?
October 15, 2008 http://www.thefrisky.com
My Vibrator and I
I really like to masturbate. There, I said it. Sometimes all I want to do after a long and stressful day is go home, whip out my vibrator, put on some porn and have a few orgasms. Is that so wrong?
Personally, I don't think so. In fact, I think all you ladies should possess your own vibrator to use from time to time. Perhaps something small and unobtrusive, like bullet vibes, which are discreet enough to carry around in your purse or pocket. Or perhaps something fun and fancy, like Rabbit vibrators, which come in a variety of sizes and colors to suit your more particular tastes. I prefer bullet vibrators, but in case the idea of owning a sex toy is too freaky for your vanilla mind to compute, I would instead encourage you to use your hand, showerhead, bathtub faucet or even electric toothbrush in order to get yourself off. Why am I pushing this, you ask?
Because if you can't get yourself off, how can you expect someone else to do it for you?
Masturbation is the best way to figure out what feels good to you and what doesn't. Some girls like steady pressure on their G-spot; some prefer rhythmic pulsing against it. Some girls can't orgasm from sex without simultaneous clitoral stimulation, and some girls can have multiple orgasms with ease. Some girls squirt when they orgasm, and some girls, well, don't. If no one has touched you in that special way, how else would you know if you're a squirter? The point of the matter is that you won't know what gets you off until you experiment a little and experience it firsthand. And if you don't have a boyfriend, masturbation is the best way to experiment without having copious amounts of potentially awkward sex with random guys.
Before I continue, I should apologize to the men reading this column, because it's written more for the female sex. It's nothing against you, I just don't think males need any convincing when it comes to jacking their rods every once in a while-I'm pretty sure you guys already have that covered.
But moving on now, you may be thinking to yourself, "Thanks, but no thanks, I'm not down with touching myself. Gross." And that's OK, because you don't need to use your hand to have a clitoral orgasm. To be honest with you, I don't like physically "touching" myself either, as I would much rather have someone else doing the touching for me. But for a quick and easy good time, I highly recommend a vibrator with adjustable speeds (or a steady stream of water), applied directly on or around your clit. Basically. I say on or around the clit because preferred pressure and intensity vary from woman to woman, so it's up to you to discover what gets you off best. You should also be somewhat aroused when doing this (i.e. watching porn, reading erotica, fantasizing about that cute guy in English class, etc.), otherwise you may just feel awkward.
Oh, and just in case you didn't know, girls are capable of having two different types of orgasms: clitoral orgasms and vaginal orgasms. (That's right, boys, not only can we have multiple orgasms, but we can also orgasm in two different, yet equally amazing ways. Don't be too jealous.)
However, vaginal orgasms often require stimulation of the G-spot, and therefore would probably entail use of your hand or a well-shaped vibrator. I'll leave that up to you to discover for yourself though, as it requires a bit more experimentation than I can lay out in this brief column.
Before I end this, let me give you one more plus for self-pleasuring: It's a great form of foreplay. Seriously, I can guarantee that almost any guy would get hard off a girl touching herself in front of him. It's just science.
Likewise, I'm also a strong proponent for couples masturbating together. Mutual masturbation, as it is more technically called, is a great tool to use in the sack, as it serves a dual purpose: One, it increases the arousal of both parties and two, it allows both parties to demonstrate how they like being touched. It's a win-win situation, really. You turn yourself on and you teach your partner how best to turn you on.
If I still haven't sold you on the whole masturbating thing, that's fine. But if one day you find yourself frustrated that you've never had an orgasm, let me sum up this column for you: Porn, vibrator, orgasms. Go.
October 6, 2008 Kristine Deguzman http://www.dailycal.org
MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ IN SEX TOY BATTLE
Actress Michelle Rodriguez is a feisty one, there's no doubt. The star of 'Girlfight', 'Lost' and 'Battle In Seattle' has been romantically linked with Vin Diesel (yeah right), and Olivier Martinez and best of all Kristanna Loken, the only good thing in 'Terminator 3'.
Why, just last year she told 'Latina' magazine: "If I wanna fuck a girl, a boy, a dog, that's my business."
Classy lady. Though the whole sex thing does become everybody's business if you have a massive argument with your partner at 9am on a Sunday morning, especially if you conduct the argument in a motel in Florida. Guests at the motel were surprised to hear Rodriguez screaming and hammering on a room door, says the New York Daily News who quoted an eyewitness.
"I woke up Sunday morning to the sounds of two women yelling, and one of them was smashing the door knocker very loudly. I peeked out and saw it was Rodriguez. She's screaming, 'Open up, let me in, bitch!'"
Oh, it gets better. When the 'bitch' in question still refused to open the door, Michelle decided to use her greatest weapon. Literally.
"If you don't open up, you're not getting your dildo back.”
It's no surprise that the eyewitness reports that the door immediately opened and a furious Rodriguez marched inside, then probably set about administering enough discipline to make a whore blush. One can only imagine what she was using to hammer the door so forcefully, but it seems to have worked. Maybe it's the end of the road for the simple doorknocker and the advent of the 'doorcocker'
October 9, 2008 http://www.holymoly.co.uk
Modern Sex: The Masturbator’s Dictionary
Some of my friends mentioned that they did not recognize many of the toy types that I listed several weeks ago. I figured since they were lost, others of you are probably lost too. So, today’s column is devoted to telling you about the different types of sex toys available.
Dildos are non-vibrating insertable toys. They often have phallic-like details; however, if you are not into phallic toys, it is possible to find non phallic dildos. Dildos can be harness-compatible with a large flat base so that it won’t slip out of the ring meant to hold it in place. Some dildos have a suctioning ability, and thus, replicate to some degree the motion and angle of several positions of sex. Dildos come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and can usually be used anally (if it has a wide or flat base) as well—however, always wash it thoroughly with antibacterial soap and water, and use a condom when going from anal play to vaginal play. Anal specific dildos are called butt plugs.
Vibrators encompass a large variety of sex toys. The traditional vibrator is usually straight and has an obelisk-esque shape to it. It’s generally not fancy, but can do its job well. Traditional vibrators can be used both clitorally and vaginally. They should not be used anally because they do not typically have a flat base that would prevent it from getting stuck inside.
That being said, there are vibrators made specifically for anal play with a t-shaped base or a flat base. An anal vibrator will have a vibrating mechanism inside the toy itself, or it will have a removable bullet vibrator.
A bullet vibrator is a small vibrator, typically no more than 2.5 inches in length and no more than 1 inch in circumference. They can be used vaginally, but are typically used clitorally. Some bullet (or egg) vibrators have multiple speeds while others simply have one speed. Never use a bullet vibrator anally because it can get stuck or lost in the rectum and will require a visit to the ER. If it has a string or a cord, it still shouldn’t be used anally because the string or cord could break.
Bullet vibrators are what are used with cock rings to make a vibrating cock ring. Cock rings come in several varieties, one that simply sits around the base of the penis, one that sits behind the penis and testicles, one that has two loops—one to go around the base of the penis and one to go around the top of the testicles, and finally a vibrating cock ring. The purpose of the cock ring is to help an erection last longer and provide additional pleasure for one or both partners.
G-spot vibrators are vibrators that have a curved end meant to stimulate the g-spot, the urethral sponge located behind the vaginal wall, 2-3 inches inside the front wall of the vagina. There is a variety in the severity of the curve among different vibrators. Some people find the sharp curve to be intimidating, I find it most pleasurable. G-spot vibrators often work equally well as p-spot vibrators or massagers.
The p-spot stands for the prostate gland. Only males have it and it can only be stimulated anally. It is located 2-3 inches past the anal canal on the front wall (facing the navel) of the rectum. There are toys made specifically for p-spot stimulation, I recommend using silicone, metal, or glass.
Clitoral vibrators, often called personal massagers, are meant to be used externally. They come in a variety of shapes, sizes, colors and price ranges. Since these toys are less likely to pick up and harbor bacteria, since they are not used internally, you can be slightly less cautious with the material, but be sure to wash your toy thoroughly before and after each use.
Dual action vibrators are those that have an insertable portion as well as an external attachment that is used to stimulate the clitoris or perineum (the area just in front of the anus) or the anus. These are commonly called rabbit vibrators (vaginal and clitoral stimulation). Likewise, dual penetration vibrators are used to penetrate both the vagina and anus. Both toys have two sets of controls for each motor in the toy.
For next week: Tell me where you hide your toys and adult videos, and why you hide them in that particular place. All submissions will remain anonymous. Email me at BiCoModernSex@gmail.com to ask anonymous question, or request that I address a specific topic, unless you tell me you intend to harm yourself and/or others without mutual consent, your email is confidential.
Signing off for now, remember to always Kovet Yourself.
October 8, 2008 Kama Yama http://www.biconews.com
Wisconsin Band Director Not A Fan Of Sex Toys
The University of Wisconsin marching band has been suspended amid rumors of hazing, alcohol abuse and sexual misconduct. That's right. The whole band. What kind of "sexual misconduct" gets an entire band suspended? I don't know but I was in the marching band and I can assure you, band geeks are freaky people.
That means the band will not perform at tonight’s Big Ten football game between the 18th-ranked Badgers and the No. 14 Ohio State Buckeyes at Camp Randall Stadium, and it marks the first time the marching band has been suspended from a game show in at least 40 years, band director Mike Leckrone said.
“I thought the only thing I could do to send the message was to suspend,” Leckrone said.
Apparently the band has run into deviance in the past. In 2006, the band was put on probation for "semi-nude dancing, sexualized banter and hazing ". No details are available about this year's incident, but the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel has drummed up some of the band past indiscretions:
• A hazing incident in which a female band member was told to suck on a sex toy.
• Female band members being forced to kiss other female band members to gain access to bus bathrooms.
• Younger band members being forced to run errands and refill beer cups for older band members.
• Behavior in 2004 that led a bus driver to pull over and call the police.
Kissing girls and sucking on sex toys? Sounds like a standard Friday night for most co-eds. After the 2006 incidents, Leckrone promised to get a handle on his band and had this to say, ""If it doesn't happen, I don't think I should be the director." Well that just seals his fate, doesn't it?
October 7, 2008 http://deadspin.com
Nerds rejoice: Braininess boosts likelihood of sex
Lonely men ought to flaunt their copies of New Scientist. Women looking for both one-night stands and long-term relationships go for geniuses over dumb jocks, according to a new study of hundreds of university students.
nerd jock
"Women want the best of both worlds. Not only a physically attractive man, but somebody in the long term who can provide for them," says Mark Prokosch, an evolutionary psychologist at Elon University in North Carolina, who led the study.
To many women, a smart man will appeal because he is likely to be clever enough to keep his family afloat. But he may also pass on "good" genes to his children, say Prokosch and his colleagues at the University of California, Davis.
Rather than ask women to rate qualities they seek in men, as other studies had done, Prokosch's team asked 15 college men to perform a series of tasks on camera.
The volunteers read news reports, explained why they would be a good date, and what would be the ramifications of the discovery of life on Mars. They also threw and caught a Frisbee to parade their physical appeal. Each potential suitor also took a quantitative test of verbal intelligence.
Smart is sexyMore than 200 women watched a series of these videos before rating each man's intelligence, attractiveness, creativity and appeal for a short-term or long-term relationship.
While the difference between short- and long-term mates may amount to a boozy decision students face each weekend, it has some evolutionary significance, Prokosch says. In potential husbands, women look for signs that a man might be a good provider and father. In one-night stands, women are on the prowl for little more than good genes, not to mention a good time.
Women proved to be decent judges of intelligence, with their scores generally matching each man's intelligence test results.
As for picking a bed-mate, the men's actual smartness proved a reliable indicator of their appeal for both brief hook-ups and serious relationships – which came as something of a surprise. Other studies have suggested that, for women anticipating short-term relationships, a man's braininess isn't foremost in their minds.
The disparate results may be due to women's lack of awareness that intelligence also affects the attractiveness of candidates for quick flings – how intelligent women perceived a man to be influenced his desirability as a long-term mate much more than his appeal for a one-night stand.
Martie Haselton, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of California in Los Angeles, also notes that although women were good judges of intelligence, they weren't perfect. In many cases, women rated good hook-ups as dunces, when their intelligence scores indicated otherwise.
"There could be aspects of intelligence that we pick up on when we interact with a person and that affect our assessment of them, even if we wouldn't label it as intelligence," she says.
But some things never change. Looks were still a much more powerful predictor of sex appeal than brains. "Women are still going for the hunk," Prokosch says. "If you had an option to pick from five different people, you would pick the most attractive one."
So in a perfect world, women want a Nobel prize winner with movie-star looks. Creativity also proved to be a sought-after trait, and Prokosch's team is currently working on an objective measure of creativity, similar to the intelligence test they used.
However, in a world of limited resources, not every woman gets what she wants, and some are bound to fall for ugly, unintelligent and uncreative men. "There's always other people out there that find everything attractive," Prokosch says.
October 6, 2008 http://abcnews.go.com
Top Ten Crazy Sex Toys
10. The Accommodator – This rubber strap-on dildo you wear on your face makes us think all sorts of naughty thoughts about Walt Disney's Pinocchio, but once we get past the idea of a pre-pubescent puppet poking his nose in places we will not speak of, the Accommodator starts to make a lot of sense in that you can penetrate your lady friend while orally pleasuring her at the same time.
9. Mr. Jack with Mustache – This rubber jack-off sleeve for men thoroughly creeps us out, especially the Chester-Molester-like mustache, but we have to admit it is the ideal alternative to a one-night-stand – a mouth that doesn't talk – which means no awkward morning after goodbyes.
8. Nanny Cam – This "insertable micro camera for internal viewing action with a powerful, multi-speed bullet easily plugs into your television or records on your VCR" sounds a tad bit freaky, but makes us feel super special at the same time because hell, we've never been on TV.
7. Road Warrior – This vibrator that plugs into your car's cigarette lighter would certainly make the drive home from work one worth looking forward to, but we're a bit worried about the salivating semi-truck driver with the bird's eye view into our car.
6. Mega Nipple Exciter – This vibrating pump with a red rubber bulb that you attach to your tit sounds fun enough, except for the fact that it leaves a hickey behind. The only problem is we can't shake from our head that the pump looks strangely similar to a clown's nose and we fear our boyfriend might make obnoxious noises when squeezing it.
5. Double Dong with Balls – Two dildos joined at the scrotum has us thinking, "Double the pleasure, double the fun," only thing is we might find our dog thinking the same thing and mistaking it for a chew toy, in that case we'll give it to him and suffer the consequences when our parents come over for dinner and ask us, "What the hell is that?"
4. EZ Rider With 6-Inch Realistic Cock – This dildo mounted on an inflatable ball looks absolutely bizarre, but because it reminds us of a therapy ball like the ones we use at the gym, we have to admit it would probably make working out so much more relaxing.
3. Joy Finger – This realistic dismembered rubber finger mounted on a plastic vibrator is probably the most horrifying sex toy we have ever seen in our life, but damn would it make a great Halloween decoration and boy, do we love Halloween.
2. Kaylani's Foot Fetish – This molded female foot in a high-heeled sandal with a vagina on the sole of the shoe simply has us wondering, "Why?"
1. Dick Rambone Dildo – This dildo, cast from the member of a porn star, which is 15 inches long, almost 8 inches around and 2 1/2 inches thick absolutely, positively scares us, but more importantly, we think it would scare a burglar if one broke into our home, especially if we were swinging it around screaming obscenities.
October 3, 2008 http://media.www.ecollegetimes.com
Bedroom Pleasures Bring the Award Winning We Vibe to the UK
Bedroom Pleasures, one of the largest sex toy and lingerie companies in the UK, has made the revolutionary couple's sex toy, the We Vibe, available in the UK after previously only being available in the US.
The We Vibe Personal Massager is a new, dual purpose vibrator for individual use or with a partner. Totally rechargeable and waterproof, the We Vibe can be used while having sex even upon penetration, offering both partners the added sensation of pulsating vibrations, with
The We Vibe is a well designed and discreet clitoral vibrator. The revolutionary and distinctive "C" shape is exclusive to the We-Vibe and it boasts a number of innovative features not currently available anywhere else in the adult novelty market. Unlike traditional and typical dual stimulation toys, the We-Vibe is the only hands-free, strapless, and wireless product that provides powerful stimulation directly to the clitoris and G-Spot as it is worn while making love.
The inner skeleton design of the We Vibe allows it to be flexible helping to ease insertion. The soft surface is made from medical grade silicon ensuring that users won't experience the allergic reactions that can be suffered when using items made from phthalates or latex. The surface is also ridged, designed to give stimulation along and around the clitoris and vaginal wall. Discreet and small, the We Vibe's dual motors provide harmonic pulsations between 3000rpm and 5000rpm.
Over time, the We-Vibe becomes familiar with its owner's body and conforms naturally, while the internal memory material learns to accommodate its individual user.
The new vibrator recently won Top Toy of the Year by the viewers of "Talk Sex with Sue Johanson" in the US and, due to its innovative design and overall versatility, many in the sex toy industry see the potential of the We Vibe replacing a selection of sex toys upon its arrival in the UK.
About Bedroom Pleasures
Bedroom Pleasures was formed in 2003 by James Knight and Rob Stevenson. The company was founded with the aim of selling high class sex aids of any nature on the internet, and 2006 saw Bedroom Pleasures move into a new 2500 square foot premises in Watford.
Currently, Bedroom Pleasures is one of the largest online sex toy and lingerie companies in the UK. Over 3,000 products are in stock and ready for same day dispatch. Bedroom Pleasures serves hundreds of happy customers every day and dispatches to the UK, Europe and beyond.
Vibrator.com stocks the We Vibe and it's one of our best sellers! Get yours here: We Vibe
October 2, 2008
http://www.24-7pressrelease.com/
Giving yourself a hand
You started this in your mother’s womb. You might have even continued in spite of the fear tactics, embarrassment, secrecy and shame that became associated with it as you grew up. It’s such a private thing that many people do not share this part of themselves with their partners. The majority of sex education classes disregard it. You don’t brag about it to your friends. It’s masturbation.
The art of self-love is completely downplayed; there is no glamour associated with masturbation. For the hundreds of thousands of books on sex positions with a partner or partners, the literature detailing the techniques and suggestions to finding satisfaction with oneself is very dismal. Yet what could be more important? The key to having great sex with someone is knowing what great sex is for you.
“My design was to write upon the disorders occasioned by masturbation, or self-pollution. … Besides, is not the crime sufficiently proved, when it is demonstrated to be an act of suicide?” This is what a prominent doctor named Samuel Auguste David Tissot wrote in 1766 in “Onanism: Or, a Treatise on the Disorders Produced by Masturbation: Or, the Dangerous Effects of Secret and Excessive Venery,” his essay on masturbation. For hundreds of years, people believed epilepsy, seizures and insanity were just some of the illnesses caused by masturbation. The scary thing about these beliefs and erroneous medical disorders is that they haven’t changed drastically over the centuries.
It was just a little over 50 years ago — when the first Kinsey studies came out — that masturbation became publicly discussed on a large scale. Still, the topic isn’t openly lauded. Many children are told that if they touch themselves their genitalia will fall off or they will become blind. Many people do not masturbate because they fear they will lose interest in their partner, while others simply think that masturbating is unhealthy.
So, let’s clear up the confusion and state the facts.
Fetuses masturbate. Little kids masturbate. Dolphins masturbate. Every gender and non-gender masturbates. People over 100 years old even masturbate. Masturbation relieves tension, stress, headaches and cramps. It heightens your mood after, or in the middle of, a long and crappy day. Masturbation helps you go to sleep. For women and men, masturbation boosts hormone levels and releases endorphins that give you that great feeling and make you glow for the rest of the night and/or day.
The key to great self-loving is exploration. Find out what you like best, in the position and location that you prefer. Try different fantasies, read erotic stories and watch different types of porn to see what peaks your interest. Whether in the shower, in the car, classroom or bed, sex with yourself can lead to new aspects of enjoyment in every area. The wonderful thing about masturbation is that it involves only you; there is no need to make room for another person in the bathroom stall — just be aware there are public indecency laws.
Discover the ways that you respond to soft touch, warm liquids, hard surfaces, on your knees or with your hands handcuffed to the bed. (This can be done if you have safety handcuffs that unclip in the middle.) Body pillows can be rubbed against; the shower head can give you amazing sensations. Check out your kitchen and see how sweet and sour sauce feels on the inside of your arm. But be sure to keep the sugar above the belt — this can produce yeast infections in both men and women — and the oils away from latex condoms as oil breaks down latex. Try more than one finger, both hands and even your feet.
And don’t forget the anus; it’s full of nerves, and the delights that can be found with a finger or a butt plug are just waiting for you. However, remember that anything you play with anally needs to have a flared base because the rectum does not have an ending. You don’t want to lose your toy or carrot mid-orgasm.
Involve parts of your body beside the nether regions. Suck on your fingers, bite your shoulder and spank your own ass. Find out what gets you going and what may get you off. You can also use a sex toy such as a vibrator or a flogger; just remember to clean the object after use. Using a condom on the toy can decrease mess and ease clean up. Just don’t mix silicone lube with your favorite silicone toy as the liquid silicone will potentially melt your toy — that includes the lubes on the condoms.
Masturbation does not need to be done alone. Mutually masturbating while watching your partner can enhance the act, and it can also make you aware of more ways your partner likes to be pleased. Additionally, mutual masturbation can also create a greater sense of closeness. Still, please be aware that when a partner is present, fluids may fly and potentially transmit an STI, so use a condom. Masturbating with a partner can also balance out the sexual needs of partners if one partner has a higher sex drive than the other partner.
Masturbation: the cure for your aches and pains, the excitement at the end of your day, the sex act that does NOT spread STIs, the relationship builder and confidence booster. It feels good. Go ahead; brag about it.
Nicolette Pawlowski is a member of Sex Out Loud and a graduate student pursuing her master’s degree in educational policy studies.
October 1, 2008 http://badgerherald.com
The science of desire
It's a biological riddle. We think of our libidos as a force of nature beyond our control; yet we also complain, increasingly, that they are too weak. Cathy Holding investigates the enigma of sexual response.
Human sexual response is a complex combination of social, hormonal, physiological and psychological factors, most of which are poorly understood. Society plays a role in what is considered to be acceptable in sexual desire: religious beliefs, family values and upbringing all affect one's attitude to one's own feelings of sexual desire. Hormones play a role the massive surges in testosterone and oestrogen in adolescents that precedes sexual activity are overwhelming in the changes they bring about in the transition from youth to adult. Sexual desire is the first of three behvioural repertoires associated with reproduction: sex drive (to find a mate), attraction (to find the best mate) and attachment or love (to allow time successfully to reproduce).
It is possibly one of the strongest drives in man (and animals) and it can bring out the best and the worst in people. In excess it can lead to hypersexuality and hyperstimulation of the genital region, sex crime, sexual addiction and persistent use of pornography. When repressed it can result in depression and neurosis or conversely it can be channelled into great creativity. When ignored, within stable relationships, it can lead good men and women to stray outside these relationships and threaten the happiness and stability of their families. It can be entirely suppressed, as in elective celibacy, and the energies re-routed to the greater spiritual good of the person and those around them. It can be denied and used to form the basis of lifelong friendships between people based on emotions much stronger than mere affection. It can be unfulfilled producing some of the most beautiful prose, poetry, music and art. It can change lives following chance meetings. It can lead to shotgun weddings... or it can just end up in total frustration after a boozy night and lead to the writing of songs such as "All Revved Up and Nowhere to Go".
The term "sexual desire" can mean one of two things: it can refer to the need for sexual intercourse itself, or it can mean something closer to sexual attraction for a specific person. This can lead to confusion in how sexual dysfunction is interpreted: it is possible that failure of the partner of the first part in their desire for the partner of the second part has nothing to do with the partner of the first part's true capability for sexual desire. This dimension to sexual desire/dysfunction is not addressed at all in the scientific literature.
The sexual response comprises three phases: desire, arousal and orgasm. Desire is the anticipation through imaginary processes of a pleasure hoped for in reality. It both precedes and accompanies the rise of excitation or arousal. The phases are, however, not independent of each other: for example, problems with orgasm can be related to problems with arousal that in turn can stem from a lack of desire. Conversely, erectile dysfunction is associated with lowered sexual desire. Sexual dysfunction of female sexual desire, arousal, or orgasm affects approximately one in three (30 per cent) of women. Sexual desire decreases with increasing age, and social, psychological or physical distress lowers levels of sexual desire in both genders. Few studies are aimed at examining sexual desire in the normal population but most focus on sexual dysfunction, particularly in the older generation.
(Most) people like sex
Having an orgasm is a powerful demonstration of a person's health. It is also very good for you. In a Welsh study on 918 men between the ages of 45 and 59, death from heart attacks or heart disease were 50 per cent lower in men with high orgasmic frequency than in those with low orgasmic frequency sex actually has a protective effect on men. Most men enjoy sex with their partners; more than two thirds of men (75 per cent) always achieve orgasm with their partner. A third of women always climax with their partners, but according to one feminist this may be because the rest simply choose to limit the number of climaxes they award to their mates. Higher orgasm rates are recorded in older people.
Losing one's mojo
Reduction in sexual desire can, in fact, be perfectly normal, particularly with increasing age. It only becomes a problem when it causes pain or distress to oneself or a partner and hence conflict. Differences in desire can be linked to hormone differences and men seem to be provided with more of the hormone of desire, so to speak, (ie, testosterone) than women. In addition, on a psychosexual level, men have a greater need actively to express their sexuality to prove their masculinity to themselves. Some women may only need to experience their man's desire to be reassured of their femininity.
Sexual desire and age
From an evolutionary point of view, female sexual desire must contribute to the success of reproduction, and hence a link exists between levels of desire and levels of fertility. Positive emotional responsiveness to erotic stimuli is found to be increased during the follicular phase of the menstrual cycle, when women are at their most fertile, and this could mean an increase in the probability of sexual activity at that time; in general it is known that female sexual desire fluctuates with the menstrual cycle. However, sexuality is completely dissociated from reproduction in older women, and usually so in older men. Nevertheless sex is a need that improves quality of life, promotes feelings of well-being and undoubtedly a person's health whatever the age. Most (younger) people are repulsed by the idea that older folks should be sexually active and this can reflect back on the older person who may feel that they should not be behaving in this manner at their age. It is the responsibility of health workers and those professionally in charge of older people to help them better understand that their desires are perfectly normal. Older people seem to enjoy sex more. A study in 904 men with an average age of 60 years (and mild to severe erectile dysfunction) found that older men are not quite so anxious about sexual performance as are younger men, which may reflect different levels of expectation between age groups. Older men reported more sexual satisfaction than younger men no matter how severe their erectile dysfunction. Older men reported slightly less sexual desire than younger men but lower sexual desire was related to higher levels of erectile dysfunction. In this day and age, medications such as sildenafil (Viagra(R)) are available to assist in overcoming the physical limitations of the elderly population (ie, erectile dysfunction), but others such as testosterone have been found to increase sexual desire in older men without improving any of the other parameters of sexual function.
It's a man thing...
A recent Danish study, in which 8,868 adults responded to a questionnaire, examined the prevalence of self-reported sexual desire and the decrease in sexual desire over a five-year period in both men and women across different age ranges. Results showed that men have a significantly higher level of sexual desire than women. Investigations into the sexual activity of an elderly population with an average age of 81 years, who were mostly (56 per cent of them) women, found that only 18 per cent of women, compared with 41 per cent of the men, were sexually active. The most common sexual activity was intercourse for men and masturbation for women. Among the women, "no desire" was the most common reason for sexual inactivity. Sexual function scores for women were low across all categories which included lubrication, desire, orgasm, arousal, pain, and satisfaction. For men, the main reason for sexual inactivity was erectile dysfunction, and sexual function scores were also low for the categories of orgasm, and overall satisfaction but not for desire. For older men at least, it seems that the spirit is willing, even if the flesh is weak. For the majority of older women, the desire for sex appears mostly to be lost.
Desire and the menopause
The Menopause Epidemiology Study, a cross-sectional, population-based study of 1,480 sexually active postmenopausal women aged 40 to 65 in the United States, attempted to define female sexual dysfunction. It found that sexual dysfunction, in terms of desire, arousal and orgasm difficulties, was due mainly to vulvovaginal atrophy defined as vaginal dryness, itching and irritation, pain on urination, or pain or bleeding on intercourse. Estimates of the prevalence of low sexual desire and hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) in the US were calculated in 755 premenopausal women and 552 naturally and 637 surgically menopausal women. Low sexual desire is more common among surgically and naturally menopausal women compared to premenopausal women. However, the women who were surgically menopausal were distressed about their low desire. Low levels of sex hormones, particularly oestradiol, physical and mental well-being and, importantly, feelings for partner are all relevant to a woman's sexuality in natural menopause.
Working at it
In a questionnaire study in 219 Brazilian-born women, the sexuality of women in midlife was found to be adversely affected by such factors as living with a sexual partner and being in the menopausal transition or being postmenopausal. Living with a sexual partner might be viewed as an unusual reason for an adverse effect on sexual desire, but maintaining sexual desire in long-term relationships can be a problem. A "goal-oriented" strategy is one psychological approach to such a problem. Studies tested whether adopting strong "approach goals" (ie, goals focused on the pursuit of positive experiences in a relationship such as fun, growth, and development) result in greater sexual desire in relationships. They found that individuals with strong approach goals experience even greater desire on days where partners are getting along, and less of a decrease in desire on days when things aren't going too well between partners. This kind of goal-oriented "working-at-the-relationship" approach works better with women than with men, but men surely must benefit from their partner's increased sexual desire. How a woman sees herself, in terms of positive imagery of the female body, affects a woman's sexual desire and what she does with it. Signs and symptoms of depression are significantly associated with loss of libido in older women and the odds of losing libido increases as the number of depressive symptoms increases. Women who do not have concerns over their level of sexual desire say that they feel loved and safe with their partner, that he tells her she's sexy, and that he is romantic. It makes no difference in this case whether or not the woman is in menopause, but interestingly, postmenopausal women prefer more love and emotional bonding cues from their partner, with these resulting in feelings of sexual desire in the woman, compared with premenopausal women.
In conclusion
Overall, knowledge about human sexual desire is somewhat limited, mainly because it is such a complex issue revolving around hormones, feelings and health. Generally speaking, desire decreases with age, but this may simply be because older people are more likely to suffer illness and loss of loved ones, as well as lower hormone levels. Whether loss of desire causes distress ultimately depends on the individual, although it may have repercussions in partner relationships for example, because more men experience sexual desire than women, which can continue right into old age.
Treatment therapies: for hypoactive sexual desire disorder
Exogenous testosterone treatment has been suggested as a rational therapeutic alternative for women whose low libido negatively affects their quality of life. Despite a recent (anonymous) publication suggesting that the disorder HSDD has been cynically created by drug companies to coincide with the market release of testosterone patches, HSDD is a recognised disorder and testosterone therapy is known to improve HSDD.
Testosterone patches are licensed in the UK for women with surgically induced menopause who are taking concomitant oestrogen therapy.
Testosterone patches are not recommended for naturally menopausal women or for those taking conjugated oestrogens. Safety and efficacy of testosterone patches have not been established beyond one year of treatment. In the meantime, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) has been shown to provide significant improvement in sexual function compared to women receiving no treatment although harmful effects have been found in some clinical trials: certain health authorities now consider that risk-benefit considerations do not favour the use of HRT. However, most experts agree that if HRT is used on a short-term basis (taken for no more than five years) then the benefits of HRT outweigh any associated risk.
As with all aspects of partner relationships, the most important aspects in dealing with problems are communication and a will to make the relationship succeed.
It is also important that people should practise healthy lifestyles – not drink too much or smoke, and take more exercise for overall health and fitness. Women should strengthen pelvic floor muscles (preferably with those little Japanese balls that you get from Ann Summers).
Couples should seek counselling if necessary – and, for men, psychosexual therapy significantly can deal with erectile dysfunction, caused by mental problems, more than sildenafil on its own.
September 18, 2008 http://www.independent.co.uk
History: A Brief History of The Vibrator
Sometimes, misunderstood and revered, but secretly loved by its supporters, the Vibrator has as colourful a history as the modern day models that sit proudly on the store shelves or the pages of websites, waiting patiently and offering the promise of pleasure to an eager purchaser.
Some are not too different in form and function from the earliest ones found, much to the embarrassment of archaeologists earlier this century.
Excavations of ancient civilizations unearthed stone objects that were clearly sculptures of penises. Probably used in fertility or religious rituals, these objects played an important role in their communities.
The ancient Greeks with their olive oil and phallic objects understood a little better than most and realised that if they went to war and they wouldn't be around to satisfy their women, that they would develop a wandering uterus, so they would leave their wives with phallic shaped objects made of wood or leather to pleasure themselves until they returned. Naturally the olive oil came in handy as a natural and healthy lubricant for such devices.
These days Vibrators are far more developed and their usage is certainly different to that prescribed in their unusual beginnings..or is it?
The historical documentation of their development is certainly an interesting story to note.
The first mechanical vibrator was invented in the late 1800's by a British physician as a way to more efficiently perform a type of therapeutic massage on female patients.
First we must set the scene in the 1800's with a society of well dressed gents and ladies in flowing gowns who carried parasols and certainly didn't discuss pleasures of the flesh.
Imagine for a moment all these ladies parading around in their finery but hiding a deep mysterious affliction.
What was this affliction?
Apparently it was called "hysteria" a sinister type of madness. Hysteria was originally perceived as a disease, but what it basically boiled down to was sexually frustrated women suffering from an intense need or longing for an orgasm.
This forced repression began early on in the schools for young women where the matrons would glove the hands of their pupils at night in their dormitories to prevent them from their carnal desires to masturbate, anyone caught would have the further embarrassment of having their hands strapped to their beds while they slept.
To cure this affliction or Hysteria, doctors would manually massage women to orgasm in the hope of relieving them of this mysterious illness. No doubt it came as a huge relief when the first steam powered device was invented. Doctors all over Britain, suffering from repetitive strain injury, no doubt breathed a sigh of relief as now they would just have to stoke the small steam contraption and let it do the work for them.
Can you imagine how busy those doctors were!
One wonders how many women feigned hysteria simply to get to the doctors for some hands on relief!
Fortunately in the 1950's this idea of hysteria was replaced by the theory that it was simply a revolt of the womans need for sexual liberation following periods of sexual deprivation. How many husbands were suddenly jolted by the realisation that the local GP had been masturbating their wives for them for years.
I would imagine there were a few doctors a little disappointed by the downgrading of this 'disease' as well!
Today, gone are the crude stone, wood and steam powered models. They come in different lengths, sizes, shapes and textures to more adequately replicate that which they are representing. Some have collections to perform different functions while couples may use them as an enhancement to their sexual lives.
Owning a vibrator is a sign that you are comfortable with your sexuality and that as a woman you don't need to rely solely on another man to give you satisfaction. How could we compete as men with these battery operated or rechargeable wonders anyway. As hard as we try we have some stiff competition.
September 29, 2008 http://www.prudentpressagency.com
Risque business: sex toy parties take off
Forget Tupperware. The latest party plans are creating a buzz all of their own.
The front door opens and two poppets in pyjamas scramble over each other to say hello before their father shoos them off to bed. It's a school night. And, besides, they're not even allowed in the lounge room. That's where Mummy's having her party. She's showing her friends her frilly knickers and fluffy slippers. Mummy has candles and creams that smell like vanilla ice-cream and musk sticks. She has books with pictures to teach dads how to help their wives destress.
And toys. Bright, buzzing toys for toe-curling clitoral rub-downs and deep, vibrant sensations with G-spot precision that deliver 90 minutes of bliss before the battery conks out. And then the ladies will have supper.
Hostess Rebecca Bullock thought twice about taking on her saucy new role but she has the poise of a woman who has attended to every detail. Her house in Denistone is spotless. Sofas are plumped, refreshments arranged on the buffet. And her little vibrating rubber ducks, with their discreet on-switch, are all in a row on tables swathed in pink satin. It's the efficiency developed over years as a party-plan doyenne.
Tonight will be a challenge. Tonight she faces the girls from her old team - Tupperware.
A former executive manager with Tupperware, Bullock now travels the country training the 600 consultants who have signed on to Pash, a party plan newcomer with erotic bits and bobs for women who can't bear the thought of walking into a porn shop. The concept is unadulterated, X-rated girls' world: sexy babydoll nighties in sizes up to 24, raunchy books by Cosmo writers, bubble bath, chocolates, body paint and "love toys".
"We never talk about vibrators," says Pash's founder, Jo Karabin. "Everything is sent out in ribbon drawstring bags, organza and tissue paper. Everything is very pink, very feminine and non-threatening, not tacky and sleazy."
Since Sex And The City's good girl Charlotte went missing with her "rabbit" (more on that later), women have taken responsibility for their satisfaction into their own hands. It's led to the advent of myriad companies of the home-shopping ilk, from Horny Little Devils and Hush-Hush to Quiver, which promotes fund-raisers for bushfire brigades and hospitals. Fiona Patten, the chief executive of the Eros Association, says there's even more. "I don't think I know a large adult business that doesn't have a party-plan wing. And they are pretty much 100 per cent women," she says.
This is hardly a hen's night. Those of us on the sofas at Bullock's home are in our 30s and 40s, married with children, neat of jeans and hair and can make one glass of wine last all night.
"The reason we're gathered here this evening," our hostess begins, "is because we like to feel good about ourselves ... Let's face it, after 15 years of marriage, the spark can wear off ..."
We are here tonight to discover ways to "enhance" our own "sensuality". To "create the mood" and "have fun". To feel like a goddess and "walk with your shoulders back and lead with your hips". The only words that are never mentioned are "sex" or "masturbation".
The Pash script involves countless shopping opportunities. We admire gossamer butterfly G-strings and sweetly perfumed lotions, gaze confoundedly at the routines in Superhot Sex and other manuals until at last it's time to unveil the hardware. "Shall we do it, girls?" Bullock asks. We'd be crushed if we didn't.
Oh, hello, little vibrating egg. Lilac and velvety, the Eggtastic is passed around the audience as our hostess discusses the virtues of a wireless remote control. You could pop one in and clean the house. But why not surprise your husband? "Go to a restaurant together and, after a few glasses of wine, just quietly slide the remote across the table," she says. "He'll love it. He can even clip it onto his belt."
Then a voice from the crowd: "Will it open the garage?" "No," Bullock quips. "But if you go to a party and other women are wearing one, you might all go off."
The ice has definitely broken, which is just as well. From here on, everything vibrates. After a brief stopover with Nea, an ergonomic, Swedish-designed black pebble for clitoral stimulation, Bullock unleashes the i-Vibe. He (definitely a he) has a band of tiny white balls at the hips that swish about like a washing machine. We weigh him in our palms, pressing and squeezing as though he were an avocado at the fruitshop. The consensus is the apparatus is very realistic - if he wasn't quite so purple.
The i-Vibe is a Rabbit, the genus of vibrator that's world No.1. They can be waterproof, illuminated and musical but the one thing in common is the appendage with fluttering ears at the base beside its control panels. One understands its success when Bullock explains that 70 per cent of women can't climax with vaginal stimulation alone.
That doesn't count for the weird toy-like shape of its head. Again, there's a simple explanation. The i-Vibe is made in Japan, where designers get around the country's strict regulations by producing "dancing dolls". Its stablemate My Hero looks like a pink lightsaber with a hula-hoop function that allows it to rotate 360 degrees. "For the retroverted uterus?" suggests a neighbour.
For G-spot adventurers, Bullock pulls out the Rock Chick, a U-tube that might double as a suitcase handle. It is hypo-allergenic and dishwasher-safe, thank goodness.
Australia is awash with vibrators. More than one million were sold last year, according to the Eros Association. That figure has been steadily climbing since 2003's total of 600,000. The electronics company Philips unveiled its first vibrator this month in Europe, where the sex toy economy is valued at EUR280 million ($490 million) a year.
"In 1992, less than 10 per cent of [adult-product] customers were female; in 2007, they represented between 35 and 40 per cent," Patten says. The market has cleaned itself up. Manufacturers and designers have invested heavily in R&D to create gelato-coloured, purse-sized, silent, purring "lifestyle products".
Instead of pornography with wet naked girls, glossy brochures read like a torrid Mazda manual. Would Madam prefer hers with "five preprogrammed pleasure modes" or "a pair of individually balanced vibrator engines"? Multi-speed his-and-her dual controls? And will that be in medical-grade silicone, 18-carat gold or Pyrex?
Finally, there's a cure for loneliness and tension on "a long intercontinental flight or during a break on a busy day".
But that's where it ends. As Bullock says. "Ladies, they're not to replace your husband - they don't put out the garbage."
Indeed, the bedroom could be the most even playing-field in gender politics. "It could be as close as we'll ever get to equality," says Liz Lord of Madame Rouge. "Women are feeling comfortable enough to ask their partners to do what they need to satisfy them or to show them what they want. Or they can say, 'Yes, I'm a single woman, I have sexual needs and I can cater for them myself."'
Only women would use the name "love toy", says Joan Sauers, the author of The Sex Lives Of Australian Women. "It's not to say women don't like sex for sex's sake but most women can't disconnect from the emotion."
Masturbation, she says, is a way of getting to understand how the body works.
"It's very rarely about just the sex. But if [women] can learn how to get themselves off, they can talk to their partners about what they like, which is what sex toys help them understand."
Bullock's mission is to inspire romance. "I think that's the word. So many of us are missing it in our lives, the actual making of love," she says.
After nearly a year at Pash, she's only once had reservations about her line of work: at Canberra airport, going through security with a dozen love toys in her hand luggage. "Someone had forgotten to take the batteries out of the toys. I'd read about an airport in Helsinki that had been closed down because someone's vibrator had gone off in their bag," she says.
Our hostess ends the demonstration and glides over to the kitchen to produce supper: mini smoked salmon parcels, three tiers of friands, chocolate slice and caramel-filled filo tarts and meringues topped with whipped lemon curd. Finally, we feel ecstasy. "I should have been a '50s housewife," she says and smiles wickedly.
The shape of things to come
Women are enjoying battery-operated love but, alas, there's been a casualty. As a pleasure object, the penis is deflating.
The new generation of lady vibes include eggs, pebbles, bullets, wands, rings and tiny catamarans that flutter at the most sensitive region on a woman's body.
Durex, for example, has released two contoured feminine objects "based on the physical make-up of the female form" after consultation with sexologists, sexual health professionals and women. International electronics company Philips has chosen an ergonomic sculptural purple rock for its first foray into Europe's lucrative sex toy market.
"People are buying products that are not phallic-like," says Liz Lord, of Madame Rouge lingerie parties. Her biggest sellers are the pebbles, including a porcelain-feel Swedish toy that's so pretty "it looks like a little ornament for your bedside table".
This is not another argument to support male obsolescence. Lord says 75 per cent of her toys are used for "couples play" and that men are happy with the new shape. "A vibrator for a man is just as pleasurable as it is for a woman," she says. It's just that two penises in the bed can be one too many. "The pebbles aren't as threatening."
Those with issues about size should let their hang-ups go. The Eros Foundation's Fiona Patten says Australia's top-selling toy, the iVibe rabbit, has been replaced by a smaller model. "Not a trend you would expect for a sex toy," she says.
September 25, 2008 http://www.smh.com.au
Guys and dolls: A revealing look at men's sex toys
It's a long time since any stigma was attached to the use of sex toys by women. For most men, the issue remains a little more embarrassing. But not for all. Tanya Gold tracks down some serious enthusiasts.
I am standing in the Harmony sex shop in central London, staring up a plastic vagina. I don't often do this. But a few weeks ago I read a news story about some men in Sweden who have reported a pharmacy to the Swedish equal opportunities ombudsman for sexual discrimination. Why? Because it stocks sex toys for women, but not for men. Now people don't usually talk about this; they rabbit on about the rabbit, but the plastic vagina has yet to have its Sex and the City moment. So what is out there? Or rather, what is in there?
Simon Pope is the buyer for Harmony. He is small and he looks tired, but he takes me through the racks of men's toys with the intensity of a man discussing drill bits. "The big thing at the moment are the anal toys," he says, waving at a wall of Rocks Off Naughty Boy prostate massagers. "Men seem to have discovered their bums at last. Straight men didn't used to want to buy anything anal," he beams at me. "That's all changed."
Together we peruse inflatable dolls there is an obese one called Fatima the Fully Functioning Sex Doll, who I feel a weird compassion for and some vaginas. I stick my finger inside one. It has the texture of rotting jelly. It feels dead. "Men mostly buy these to use alone," Simon says. He points out the Juicy Lucy portable can, which looks like a beer can but has both a vagina and an anus inside, and the Fleshlight, a torch containing a vagina. Both look like they were made by the ever-smiling Q for James Bond: "Now, Bond, if you press this a vagina will shoot out!"
"Toys are a lot more acceptable now than they used to be," Simon muses. "There is more crossover between the mainstream and us. But sex toys for women are still more talked about. They are more out there." Why is this? Why do women wave their rabbits at the world while men hide their rubber vaginas? (As it happens, I don't have a rabbit. I don't like anything up there with a face.)
Simon pauses. He chooses his words carefully, saying: "Male sex toys don't look quite as er cuddly as female sex toys. A vibrator looks more attractive than a fake vagina." I pout at him. You cannot say the vagina is ugly. You cannot say it looks like a face a car door slammed into. Not in The Independent. Not in 2008. "A vibrator doesn't have to look like a penis," he says. "A vagina always looks like a vagina." We pause together in front of Australia's Finest Vibrating Pussy and Ass. "You'll never see that in Boots," he says. It's hard to disagree.
A man is loitering by the Juicy Lucy portable can. He says he's going to buy it. Why? He's handsome. I'd shag him, if he had a house. "It's an easy way of masturbating," he says. "You can't go to a girlfriend all the time. It's a requirement nowadays. Any time you want it, it's available." I also find a man buying the Fleshlight. He too looks perfectly normal; if you looked in his wallet, you'd probably find a Pizza Express loyalty card. "I'll take it, but I'm not going to tell my girlfriend," he says. Why not? He looks aghast. "Would you tell anyone you were going to stick your dick up this?" he asks. "It looks like a badly packed ham sandwich."
A-ha! So the men in Sweden have it wrong. It's not hatred of men that is keeping Australia's Finest Vibrating Pussy and Ass off the shelves at Boots. It's hatred of women. Our bits look like food. Men don't want to be seen alone with them.
On the way out I talk to Tony, the store manager. He has the face of a central casting gangster and he has sold sex toys for 13 years. He says he flogs up to 30 plastic vaginas a day. Who buys them? "Men," he says. "Lonely men." (So the plastic vagina men are lying about having real girlfriends?) "The bum toys go to couples, but a lot of women still don't like the idea of their men screwing a plastic vagina," he says. "It's still not acceptable." He peers at me, and takes me over to view the strap-on dildos, which are for women who want to sodomise their boyfriends. So, are men becoming more open to the idea of being sodomised by their girlfriends? (This pleases me.) "Yes," he says. Tony is a man of few words.
But these are not the most sophisticated sex toys available for men. Davecat (not his real name) is a 35-year-old American man from Detroit. He owns a $7,000 silicone RealDoll called Sidore, manufactured by Abyss Creations in California. According to her drooling website, Sidore is "a Cancer, partial to Joy Division, videogames and foot rubs". She is also absurdly beautiful. A perfect 10. She has breasts, a vagina, an anus, and three removable tongues. Davecat is part of the community of "i-dollators". They worship dolls.
"Sidore means a great amount to me," Davecat says, when I ring him to discuss Sidore. "She is my ideal partner. She fulfils a lot of sexual needs but more importantly she fulfils a lot of emotional needs." Such as? He pauses. "She doesn't make demands I can't meet. She is always there for me. Human beings can't give guarantees. There are no variables [with the doll], no bizarreness that may or may not occur. There is always a constant. I like things constant and you can't get more constant than a doll." Any future girlfriend, he adds, would have to accept Sidore. "There is no way I could get rid of her."
Do you mind that she can't talk? "I'd prefer it if she did, but doll technology can only go so far," he replies. "My ideal partner would be a gynoid [a female android]. There are only a few in the world and they are not available for consumer markets yet. Dolls are wonderful, but they can't move, and they can't speak". I'm not sure what to say to Davecat. So I ask him you would really rather have a relationship with a robot than a really beautiful er actress? "Yes," he says. "That is the end all, be all of it."
He doesn't like to use the term sex toy for Sidore."It's demeaning and it's limiting," he says. "Sidore provides more than sexual fulfilment. When people think sex doll, they think blow-up toys or something really crude" I briefly think of poor, obese Fatima "not something you can actually have a relationship with. I don't consider myself a doll fetishist. I consider myself a doll husband."
Mr G, 41, lives in Virginia. He owns two pouting RealDolls GingerBrooke and KellySue. "Ginger Brook is pure and innocent," he says. He speaks incredibly seriously, in a southern drawl. "She wouldn't hurt a fly. Kelly is more aggressive."
So I ask him why do you sleep with RealDolls (three times a week), and never real women? "Dating has always been more trouble than it was worth," he says. "I don't want to get involved with anybody." He doesn't want to catch a disease, he adds. He doesn't want children. And he relates a few disastrous experiences with women. Doesn't he mind that the RealDolls are so passive? "No. I like being in control." Do you ever wish they could speak? "No". Do you ever get lonely? "No". Will you ever give them up? "No".
When he first got GingerBrooke, he explains: "I thought this would be great for sex and somebody to hang out with. But I had more fun with Ginger in the first month than I ever had with human women. I had no idea how far it would go. They are more human than anyone I have ever met. They don't break the law, they don't lie to me, and they aren't going to steal. There is no evil in them." But there is no good in them either, I point out. "They are good to me," he replies. "They look the same today as they did when I got them. They aren't going to age. I want to be buried with them."
I also speak to a British i-dollator, who asks to be called Zazakell. He is 62, and he bought three dolls Tess, (for Tess of the D'Urbervilles), Romy and Leeloo after his divorce. He talks to me like a stern schoolteacher, telling me how benign the RealDolls are. "They are very clean, they are very safe, and they are low maintenance," he says. "They aren't going to cause anyone any harm." They are helpful, he adds, "for shy men, virgins, the handicapped, and men who are unsuccessful at dating. Or they can be a learning tool. It takes a lot of the stress out of trying to get into a relationship. Women use them, couples use them to simulate a threesome, and gay men have male dolls." (I checked out a male RealDoll. He's called Charlie, and I would go there.)
Zazakell first saw a RealDoll on the So Graham Norton show. "She was a beautiful doll and that is how I discovered them," he says. He mostly uses them as cuddle companions. "It's nice to have something to cuddle. Do you remember when you had a cuddly toy when you were younger? It's the same feeling. You need to have some sort of contact, and touch at any age. But nothing can replace a real woman."
It is time to ask him: is i-dollatry about fear, hatred, or mistrust of women? "Far from it, no," Zazakell says, emphatically. "Most of us adore women. We use electric blankets with our dolls so they aren't cold. It has its own character; its own personality, even though it is an inanimate object. If you are romantic you will probably give your doll a name and you will dress her nicely and you might talk to her occasionally. There is a big difference between a sex toy like a vibrator and a doll. Dolls are so much more than that. I can't see someone paying 5,000 for a sex toy. Can you?"
I tell Zazakell a story from a doll repairer, who was sent a doll who had been mutilated; her leg was ripped off, her chest cavity spewed open. "There is only one time that I saw a photograph of a doll that had been run over by a delivery truck and crushed," says Zazakell. "There was almost an outcry that the person published the photos on the internet. It got taken down. Because we [i-dollators] felt so badly that a doll had been run over.
"We don't want anybody like that [in our community]. It's like saying that everybody that kills is a serial killer and people kill for all sorts of reasons don't they?"
He sends me a strict note later, telling me not to sensationalise the doll people. "We are a cross-section, just like society," he says. And so I leave the Valley of the Dolls.
September 25, 2008 http://www.independent.co.uk
Sex doctor: Don't dream it, be it...
There's a certain type of man who will react to any suggestion of spicing up your sex life with disapproval. Women delicate little petals that we are aren't supposed to want naughty things and this man's judgment of you will be harsh: you're a tart or a slut and definitely not good enough to be sitting at his parents' table for Sunday lunch. Happily, despite all the potential pitfalls, there are ways to have your orgasms and keep him too. These are the basics which you should apply to any situation where you're suggesting something new sexually:
*Make it his idea. Men are far more open to doing something if they think the idea came from them.
*Make it clear you've only ever wanted to do it with him. His first thought will be: has she already done this with someone else?
*Make it clear you're suggesting it because you trust him: You know you won't be judged and he's made you feel so good about yourself; you feel that you can truly open up and tell him anything.
*Tell him you're suggesting it because you want to have the best sex life possible. You know all the statistics about couples cheating on each other and don't want that to happen to you two.
*Be aware that most men feel threatened by the new breed of sexually confident women: No matter how liberated he is, you have to remember the poor little sausage is just getting over the horrific news that his penis alone often can't give you an orgasm. It's crucial for you to present your proposition tenderly and tactfully.
Here are some specific tips on how to help achieve your dream fantasy.
Sex with another woman
Most men love it if you admit to lesbian fantasies, so why not take it through to reality? If your partner's not the jealous type and it's a relatively new relationship that you don't mind risking, go ahead and suggest it. Broach the idea by telling him you had an incredibly erotic dream last night about you and another woman in whichever scenario you crave. See what reaction you get. It's pretty easy to move from here into a serious discussion.
A threesome
Just because he's always joking about it doesn't mean he really wants to try it. Faced with it happening in reality, all sorts of fears creep in.
Suggest it by: pretending you saw a magazine story about threesomes and then ask, "What do you think of them?" If he doesn't react with horror, confess you'd like to try it, then talk about the reasons why it appeals, loading on the sexual compliments. If you decide to go ahead, always practise safe sex and make rules on what is and isn't allowed. Don't take being left out personally and always pay your partner more attention than the third person.
Role-play
Acting out a role-play is relatively tame compared to swinging but it's still a dreaded scenario for many guys. The risk of humiliation is high because you both have to "act" and even if he's not shy, fears that he'll burst out laughing may plague him.
Suggest it by making a joke of it eg, "How about doctors and nurses?" Once you've let him know it doesn't have to be deadly serious, the chances are he'll come round to the idea.
Spanking
Some men think it's degrading to spank their partner and it is if you don't ask for it but wanting them to spank you is quite another thing.
Suggest it by visiting a good sex shop or going online and buying a rubber whip but only if you're pretty confident he'll get a buzz from it.
Having phone sex/talking dirty
"The first time I talked dirty, the guy I was with lost his erection and told me I was a slut. Needless to say, I'm a little nervous suggesting it again even though I love it when guys do it to me." I get letters like this from women all the time and there's a common theme throughout: confusion. Like, he watches porn all the time and swears with his friends, why wouldn't he like talking dirty? What's going on?
The sort of men who react badly are usually traditional men, brought up in a household where sex was dirty and good girls definitely didn't. But even "normal" men sometimes find it difficult to hear very rude things coming out of their girlfriend's mouth.
Suggest it by: upping your moans and groans, then slipping in the odd swearword. If he seems to like it, start describing what's happening: "I'm watching you disappear inside me and that is so sexy." If you want him to talk dirty to you, follow this by whispering, "Tell me what you'd really like to do to me," in his ear.
Adapted from 'The Sex Doctor', by Tracey Cox
September 17, 2008 http://www.independent.co.uk
The Vibrator - What's All the Buzz About?
It used to be that diamonds were a girl’s best friend. But these days, it’s something much more stimulating. And it vibrates. Better yet, it’s battery-powered to last for hours. Plus, it never needs Viagra.
So given the fuss it has created among women in recent years, many men have found themselves wondering if they will eventually become replaced. Are they just suffering from bruised egos in the bedroom ... or could they actually be sexually substituted someday?
In sizing up today’s vibrator craze, many point to the "Sex and the City" episode that made "The Rabbit" vibrator famous. And while that show definitely piqued more than the public's interest, you can actually blame the medical community for getting us turned on to the original electronic gadgets more than 100 years ago. At the turn of the century, vibrators became all the rage for treating female "hysteria."
From the time of Hippocrates all the way to Freud, doctors stimulated orgasms in women and girls to relieve them of what was thought to be their "starved" or "misplaced" womb. Historically, people thought that hysteria ("hyster" is Greek, meaning "womb") was a condition where the uterus was revolting against sexual deprivation. Marriage or a medical massage was considered the best remedy.
Using a clinical procedure known as the "medical massage." physicians would induce "hysterical paroxysm" in their patients. This "fit" or sudden attack, also known as an orgasm, involved an increased breathing and pulse rate, a reddening of the skin, vaginal lubrication and abdominal contractions. Is it any wonder that many women of the puritanical Victorian era flocked to their doctors, claiming to be afflicted with hysteria?
Doctors’ hands were finally relieved of masturbating their patients to orgasm in the 1880s when electromechanical vibrators hit the scene. These "medical appliances." as they were known, were designed to improve the efficiency of medical massage and treat hysteria. Yet they weren’t around for long. Medical massagers disappeared from doctors’ offices in the 1930s, replaced by psychotherapy.
It is no wonder, then, that women have been working themselves into a frenzy over the vibrator’s comeback in recent years. In the meantime, some men have worried that they’ve finally met their match. And in some ways, they may be right when it comes to their lover’s orgasm.
Vibrators can help a woman not only to become orgasmic, but multi-orgasmic. They deliver orgasms consistently and easily. They enhance her sexual responsiveness and pleasure. Vibrator users also report higher levels of sexual desire, arousal, and interest.
In a 2004 Berman Center study titled "Health Benefits of Sexual Aids and Devices," nearly half of women ages 18 to 55 had used a vibrator. These women were found to be more interested in sex, reached orgasm more easily and were likelier to have a better quality of life.
On first take, such benefits and research findings can definitely feel threatening to a gal’s lover. How is he supposed to compete with that?
But men should stop looking at vibrators as the enemy; they should start seeing them as their friends. They make their job much easier. When used in a supporting role, a vibrator can help a man bring his lover to orgasm.
The Berman Center study further found that 30 percent of couples use vibrators. This is no surprise given that users of sex aids, in general, have sex more frequently and experience more satisfying sex with their partners. Vibrator use can lend itself to better sexual functioning, as well as:
— enhance your emotional and sexual intimacy;
— heighten your pleasuring;
— boost your eroticism quotient;
— promote mutual sexual and emotional satisfaction.
So in making friends, ask for a show and tell. Ask her to use it on you. Take a chance, and use it during sex, using it on her clitoris during intercourse to increase her chances of reaching the "Big O."
Finally, take comfort in knowing that the vibrator will never replace you. Unless you’re a lousy lover or your relationship is already in shambles, a woman will never opt for a mechanical device over you. She’ll always prefer the emotional support and sexual intimacy that only her lover can give her. After all, the best sex is that which provides overall pleasure.
Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."
September 23, 2008
http://www.myfoxwausau.com
George Clooney Helps Boast Sex Toy Sales
90% of American women will buy just about anything George Clooney endorses, and sex toys are no different.
Clooney, who plays a sex addict in his new flick 'Burn After Reading,' carries around two items "The Liberator Ramp" and "The Silky" in the flick. Both are currently being sold in sex shops around the world.
Thanks to Clooney's plug, sales of both are on the rise. One retailer told the NY Post, "Small mentions of adult products in mainstream media can have an outsized effect on sales."
This is almost as huge as "the rabbit" on Sex and the City. Almost. Let's face it, no one sold sex better than Samantha.
September 21, 2008 http://www.hollyscoop.com
The Great Seducers
Ah seduction, that noble art. Its roots can be found in the most ancient myths; the alleged nobility is more recent, perhaps originating from mediaeval courtly love, when the beguiling of an innocent virgin (or, if you were really good, a rival's wife) could be accomplished with flattery, favours and a joust or two. But baser motives have never been far below the surface, and, ultimately, the methods that work are the basic ones: get them to notice you in the crowd, make them feel special, win their trust, make their pupils dilate, get them into bed.
Yet seduction is, in its highest form, far more than a one-note, wham-bang-thank-you-ma'am skill: it's a ritual with a complex set of rules. It can't be too aggressive, or the element of beguiling is lost in the relentless advances; but it neither should it be too refined, too unobtrusive because then the interplay between the two protagonists is lost.
So what's the secret? These 10 great seducers may offer some clues. Selected from various eras, from ancient history to the present day, they have a lot in common: success, in spades but also a vast array of techniques, some conscious, some primal, to conquer fair maid (or young man). From wild romantic to mordant wit to eager charmer, these artful inveiglers are the best in the business.
Of course, the real art in seduction is not to take advantage of the seduced but to be more of a to use the mealy-mouthed modern word facilitator, helping the seduced to open up to a whole new world of freedom and satisfaction through sex.
It's a nice trick if you can get away with it.
Casanova
Giacomo Casanova was the seducer by whom all others are measured, the man who gave his name to the charming yet roguish breed. The Venetian adventurer, wit, charlatan, spy and writer had a law degree by the age of 17 always handy for extricating yourself from intrigue a short and of course scandalous career in the church; and was run out of most of Europe's grand cities after drawing the attention of the local constabularies because of his sexual escapades. His technique? Discover a lady in trouble; be attentive; extricate her from her difficulty; bestow small gifts; use alluring words; make hay; get bored; exit stage left.
Catherine the Great
All enlightened despots need a way to relieve the stress, and the Russian empress's outlet was to take lovers. She often gave them important positions in government and was good enough to pension them off after she'd had enough of them (which certainly beats being exiled/executed). Her technique? Employing a former lover to do the work for you: after her affair with Potemkin, he would select a candidate-lover for her who had both the looks and the intelligence to hold Catherine's interest. Bar-room historians still claim (wrongly) that even men, ultimately, failed to fulfill her needs, leading to an unfortunate accident involving a horse.
Cleopatra
The woman with perhaps the most famous nose in history ("Had it been shorter," wrote Pascal, "the whole face of the world would have been changed"), Cleopatra was the last Pharaoh of Egypt and a great beauty who consolidated her power through affairs with both Julius Caesar and Mark Antony. When she and Antony's navy were defeated at the Battle of Actium, she killed herself with the bite of an asp. Her technique? Playful, witty and coquettish, requiring access to large quantities of milk for bathing/flirting with Roman generals, and priceless pearl earrings to dissolve in vinegar to astonish onlookers.
Lord Byron
The acme of a Romantic, not just a brooding poet but a revolutionary soldier. And oh! did the ladies fall for that heady mix of searing intellect and man of action. As did the men, although that side of his sexuality was long ago airbrushed from history. Lady Caroline Lamb, one of his lovers, described him as "mad, bad, and dangerous to know". His most famous poem, "Don Juan", takes the fictional arch seducer and makes the hero susceptible to the seductive powers of women so it was all their idea, after all (always a good line). Byron's technique? Passion, passion, and more passion. And dead by 36.
Errol Flynn
The actor whose buckle swashed on screen like no other of his time also had a notoriously rumbustious life off-stage, with vast amounts of drinking, plenty of brawling, and oodles of womanising. His famously debauched lifestyle caught up with him in 1942 when two underage chorus girls, Betty Hansen and Peggy Satterlee, accused him of statutory rape (they were under 21 at the time). However, he was found not guilty at trial, and his reputation did not suffer any lasting harm. And his seduction method? If the expression "in like Flynn" really does refer to him, then it probably was none too subtle.
Wilt Chamberlain
If sheer quantity is the mark of a successful seducer, there can be no finer exponent than the 7ft 1in basketball player Wilt Chamberlain, who claimed to have slept with 20,000 women. If true, this suggests that he had sex with more than eight different women per week from the age of 16 (who are we kidding?) to the day he died. His technique? Confident but respectful. And being the highest paid basketball star of the time probably didn't hurt his chances either. "I think Wilt hit on everything that moved... [but] he never was bad or rude," said the Swedish high jumper Annette Tannander.
Russell Brand
The rakish, bohemian stand-up comic, TV presenter and "World's Sexiest Vegetarian" is a self-confessed erotomaniac. He even underwent treatment for his affliction in a Philadelphia clinic. As he writes in his autobiography, My Booky Wook: "At one point, I had a harem of about 10 women, whom I would rotate in addition to one-night stands and casual random encounters." And his technique? Verbal dexterity, hyperactive charm and, presumably, that ridiculously over-coiffured barnet: "In Bangkok ... bar girls in Patpong left their posts to follow me down the street, cooing and touching my hair."
Alan Clark
The diarist, MP and deadpan patrician snob (who dismissed Michael Heseltine as "a man who bought his own furniture") was also an incorrigible lech. He was also very sure of his type: "Girls have to be succulent," he pronounced; "and that means under 25." His most infamous escapade was an affair with what he described as his "coven" a judge's wife and two daughters. His technique? Boundless boyish enthusiasm "A plump young woman came into my compartment at Waterloo," he wrote in his diary. "She was not wearing a bra, and her delightful globes bounced prominently... I gave her a huge grin; I couldn't help it."
Jack Nicholson
Like his fellow Hollywood lotharios Warren Beatty and Frank Sinatra, the US acting legend and force of nature isn't a one-woman man. No, sir. "Physical and sexual vitality is one of the reasons that I'm lively," the 71-year-old, who has no fewer than six children by five women, recently claimed. Kim Basinger called him "the most highly sexed individual I have ever met". His technique? The bad-boy glint in his eye, that grin, the charm, the monomaniacal intensity the late Playboy model Karen Mayo-Chandler revealed that he ate peanut butter and jam sandwiches in bed "to keep his strength up".
John Wilkes
John Wilkes is an unlikely candidate. He was a radical MP, journalist and later Lord Mayor of London who wrote pornographic poetry. And he was described as the ugliest man in England. But his charm was extraordinary: "With the start of a quarter of an hour," he said, "I can get the better of any man, however good-looking, in the graces of any lady." (He later amended this to half an hour modestly.) In an exchange with the Earl of Sandwich, who declared "Sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox," Wilkes replied: "That, sir, depends on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress." His technique? Unfettered charm.
September 14, 2008 Mark Wilson http://www.independent.co.uk
Running on empty? Ladies, it's time to take control of your own pleasure
Faced with a shrinking libido, ladies?
It may be poor body image, waning desire for a partner, fatigue or keeping a schedule so dizzyingly frantic it makes a spinning class look like a heavenly day at the spa. Whatever the reason, it's time to give that snail-paced sex drive some tender loving attention.
If your erotic self is M.I.A., you're not alone.
A Chatelaine magazine survey released earlier this year polled nearly 4,000 Canadian women found that 22% had never masturbated and 62% said they don't have a vibrator in their goody drawer.
Meanwhile, the findings suggest that how we view our physical selves impacts sexual desire (the majority of women rated their bodies a six out of 10). In other words, the more body confident types reported higher levels of in-the-buff enjoyment. So what's a gal to do? Take charge, of course -- and that means getting that libido back in shape for fall.
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Eroticism rousers
Crave that tingly feeling down under? Not only is this easy to achieve, it doesn't have to break the bank either. Bring on the arousal cream.
This magical goody heightens arousal in erogenous zones quickly and can be used to boost pleasure on your own or with a partner.
Water as well as silicone-based lubes are both safe and gentle choices. For extra titillating pleasure, try a warming lubricant, which, as the description suggest, heats things up rather nicely.
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Get your motor running
We all know the saying practice makes perfect, right? Well bring on the practice!
For the solo-flying dames out there, single status shouldn't have to mean forgoing regular orgasms.
Need a helping hand? One of the most discreet offerings around is the super compact Magic Bullet -- and it isn't called magic for nothing.
Patti Brisben, in her book Pure Romance Between the Sheets, says "It's truly up to you to know what turns you on. You need to start by discovering your own path to sensation."
Cheers to that!
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You time
There are certainly women who have been taught that sexual self-satisfaction is dirty but, thankfully, the times are changing.
This may explain the growing number of erotic books and films made with the female audience in mind.
In other words, hardcore porn may not get you hot, but reading deliciously erotic tales or watching them unfold before your eyes could unleash those long-forgotten fantasies (or help you discover new ones along the way).
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Skip the burger and fries
Poor lifestyle habits such as a high-carb, starchy diet along with smoking, lack of exercise and improper sleep can send a libido on a big downward spiral.
According to Marrena Lindberg, author of The Orgasmic Diet, a wholesome body boost will also trickle down to your nether regions.
Lindberg suggests cutting back on fatty foods, reducing unrefined sugar and carbohydrates, all the while increasing fibre, taking fish oil supplements and eating about a half an ounce of dark chocolate daily to get things started.
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Confidence boosters
Whether it's booking a massage or hanging out with your girlfriends, we generally feel better when we're active, balanced and taking care of ourselves. Same rings true for exercise. Sorry folks, the classic "no time, no energy" excuse just doesn't fly, because even the simplest of activities, such as going for a walk, actually increase energy levels.
Now get this: Squeezing in regular workouts not only helps us feel sexier and better about our bodies, but also serves a natural way to sex-ercise our libidos by helping reduce stress and increase relaxation.
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Did you know?
- The clitoris has more than 8,000 nerve endings.
- The majority of women reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation.
- Kegel exercises reportedly enhance sexual enjoyment among some women.
- The muscles that control a woman's orgasm also control urine flow.
- Medications such as birth control pills, blood pressure reducers and antidepressants can hamper your sex drive.
September 11, 2008 Tanya Enberg http://www.edmontonsun.com
Detailed Study on Spread of H.I.V. in U.S.
An unusually detailed study of people newly infected with H.I.V. in the United States has confirmed that the majority of new cases occur among gay and bisexual men and that blacks are most at risk. But the data show that whites and blacks tend to be infected at different times in their lives with the virus that causes AIDS.
Most new infections of white gay and bisexual men occur when the men are in their 30s and 40s, the study found, while black gay and bisexual men are more likely to be infected in their teens and 20s. The results were reported on Thursday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The C.D.C. reported last month that the study found that the virus was spreading faster in the United States than had been thought. In 2006, the study found, 56,300 people were newly infected with H.I.V. — 40 percent more than the agency’s previous estimate of roughly 40,000 new cases a year. The study was performed using new technology that allowed researchers to distinguish between new and older infections.
Dr. Kevin Fenton of the C.D.C. said the study’s findings served “as a powerful reminder that the U.S. epidemic of H.I.V. disease is far from over.”
The details of the agency’s demographic analysis were released on Thursday in the hope that knowledge of the age, race and other characteristics of the newly infected would better direct prevention efforts.
“The data really confirm what we had suspected and known before,” said Dr. Fenton, who emphasized the disease’s “disproportionate impact on gay and bisexual men and on blacks and Latinos.”
Black people, who make up about 12 percent of the population, accounted for more than 45 percent of the new infections, the study found, and the disparity was particularly acute among women.
Black women are nearly 15 times as likely to be infected with H.I.V. as white women. Hispanic women are four times as likely to be infected as white women. Black men have six times the H.I.V. incidence rate of white men and nearly three times that of Hispanic men.
Among those newly infected with the virus, black men were no more likely to be drug users or to engage in risky sex than were white men, according to the study. More research is needed to explain why young black men are at such greater risk for contracting the disease, but there are several hints from other studies, researchers said.
The fact that proportionally more blacks than whites are already infected would tend to produce higher transmission rates among blacks, said Dr. Richard Wolitski, acting director of the center’s division for H.I.V. and AIDS prevention. Young black men are much more likely to have been incarcerated. Infection rates among former convicts are high, largely because of behaviors outside of prison, studies show.
Dr. Wolitski said young black gay and bisexual men also tended to have partners who were older than their white counterparts and thus were more likely to have already been infected.
Girls and women make up 27 percent of those newly infected with the virus, and 80 percent of them contracted H.I.V. because of high-risk heterosexual contact. Among newly infected males, 81 percent of white men and 63 percent of black men were gay or bisexual.
In one of the most dismal statistics provided by the centers, researchers said that 80 percent of gay and bisexual men in 15 cities had not been reached by intensive H.I.V. prevention efforts that have proven effective. Agency officials said that more must be done, including expanded H.I.V. screening programs and better directing of prevention efforts at those most at risk.
September 11, 2008 Gardiner Harris http://www.nytimes.com
Sue Johanson talks sex, toys and disease prevention
“I’m so aware that I could be your grandmother, so the fact that I can get out there and make a total ass of myself, that’s very satisfying for me,” Sue Johanson said Wednesday, before taking the stage to talk to a few thousand first year students about sex.
The famous face behind Sunday Night Sex Show, who turned 78 this July, entertained and educated the attentive crowd on Orientation Week’s main stage in Talbot Bowl, covering all the topics high school sex-ed teachers don’t go near.
“They know a lot about the plumbing [anatomy],” Johanson explained. “But how do they know when a female is horny? They don’t teach that.”
In her upfront and uncensored style, Johanson openly discussed topics like female erections, anal sex and how to get the best sex toy on a budget — not exactly the subject matter you’d expect to hear from a woman who was born during the Great Depression.
Johanson even went as far as showing how to put a condom on with her mouth, a stunt that received momentous applause from the crowd.
“I live in Toronto, and sometimes I go down to Yonge Street and talk to prostitutes. They taught me how to put a condom on,” she explained.
Behind all the dirty talk was a strong message. Learning and talking about sex, and most importantly safer sex, is something we all need to do.
“There’s so much you need to know about sex. Don’t let sex just happen,” Johanson told the crowd.
While Johanson stressed there is no such thing as “safe sex,” unless you’re pleasuring yourself, practicing safer sex is not an option. It’s a necessity.
“The number one issue is still HIV,” she said. 15 per cent of newly diagnosed cases of the virus occur in people aged 15 to 24. “[People still] think no friend of mine is going to have it.”
The number two issue Johanson says is facing students right now is chlamydia. “It’s almost epidemic,” she said about the most common bacterial Sexually Transmitted Infection in Canada, which produces no noticeable symptoms. “It’s a sneaky one ... and the problem is, it causes sterility.”
The third hot issue students need to know more about is the taboo topic of anal sex, which Johanson casually refers to as “bum sex” and “fudge-packing.” She noted 10 per cent of calls received at the Sunday Night Sex Show, which wrapped up its final season last May, were anal sex-related questions. “There’s not enough information, and anal sex is high risk behaviour,” she said.
Her message of talking and learning about sex was not lost on the first year audience. Except for a few O-Week cheers erupting in response to Johanson’s more outrageous antics, such as the condom episode, they let go of their rowdy O-Week ways and listened intently to Johanson’s words of wisdom.
“I thought it was really important. She really stressed safety,” first-year sociology student Rebecca Pointet said.
For over 35 years, Johanson has been educating others and increasing the awareness of the importance of sexual education. She put her first major mark in Canada’s sexual health movement in 1972 when she opened a birth control clinic in the health room of Toronto high school Don Mills Collegiate Institute, the first of its kind in Canada.
Her passion for teaching and her lively personality soon garnered the attention of school boards and universities across the country, and with the success of her multiple radio and television shows, Johanson has become one of Canada’s most well respected and well-known sex educators.
“I just love what I’m doing,” she says. “I’m not going to slow down. My biggest fear is having to retire.”
Stuff Sue said:
“We’re here because everyone at Western is horny, and horny is a beautiful thing”
“Having a big penis is not essential”
“Vibrators are great”
“Rrroll up the rim to win” (in reference to putting on a condom)
“What is the point of cumming in your girlfriend’s face?”
Fun Fact:
If Sue could sleep with any famous person, past or present, it would be Richard Gere.
Brief history of Sue Johanson:
1930:
Born in Toronto, Ontario
1972:
Opens birth control clinic at Don Mills Collegiate Institute
1984:
Debut of Sunday Night Sex Show on Q107
1988:
Publishes first book, Talk Sex
1992:
Publishes second book, Sex is Perfectly Natural but Not Naturally Perfect
1996:
Sunday Night Sex Show debuts nationally on television
2001:
The Governor-General of Canada awards Johanson the Order of Canada for a lifetime of service to the country
2002:
Oxygen Media purchases 26 pre-taped episodes of Sunday Night Sex Show to air in the U.S.
2004:
Publishes third book, Sex, Sex, And More Sex
September 5, 2008 Carly Conway http://www.gazette.uwo.ca
Electronics giant Philips to launch sex toy range
Royal Philips Electronics has introduced a new foreplay product for couples, the first in what the company says will be a lucrative line of sex toys.
The product, the "Intimate Massager", will first be sold in British stores including the pharmacy chain Boots, as well as through the Amazon.co.uk web site.
Philips is known better as the world's largest lighting manufacturer and a major player in flat screens, ultrasound machines, and electric shavers.
The company says it believes the European market for sex toys is €280 million ($390 million) per year and growing rapidly.
The "Intimate Massager" resembles a vibrator but is oblong and crafted to fit easily in the palm of a hand.
Philips said Thursday the product will be sold throughout Europe next year.
September 11, 2008 http://edition.cnn.com
Behind Closed Doors: Vibrators take sex into hyperspace
I have a vibrator. Her name is Princess Leia (because she has a way with the Force), and she is purple. Many women would be embarrassed to share this kind of information with the world. I am somewhat uncomfortable with revealing her in print, but, nonetheless, there she is.
So why did I share? Because vibrators are controversial, and I want my readers to know that there is nothing to be afraid of.
Some people see vibrators as harbingers of sexual perversion, such as legislators in Texas who, until last February, had banned the sale and use of such toys. Other people may be threatened by them, as vibrators can be perceived as penis replacements. Some say that a straight woman has a vibrating phallus, her need for a man could disappear. Still, more people just think vibrators are strange. Some may have reasoned arguments on the purity of sexual interaction or may be weirded out by the idea of an electronic device finding its way to their nether regions.
That’s where I come in. Vibrators are fun and effective tools for reaching orgasms.
To those who think that they are perverse: Vibrators have existed in some form since the 1880s. They were invented by doctors as a way of curing “hysteria” in women; bringing women to orgasm in order to relieve emotional and psychological ailments dates back thousands of years.
The vibrator was invented to speed along the process so that the doctor could fit more patients into the day. Thus, the vibrator is not a product of the corrupted morals of the new generation. It is an updated form of a past medical technology.
If you believe that not only vibrators but all sex toys are corrupt, I can’t help you.
To those who fear replacement by vibrator: At first glance, this may seem to be a legitimate position. Vibrators have advantages that flesh-and-blood penises do not. Vibrators are always erect and they never prematurely ejaculate. They are always the right size and shape and are around whenever you need them. Most significantly, they vibrate, something that penises can’t do.
But to think that penises are in any way replaceable to those who love them is just faulty logic. Guys, have a little faith in the value of your penis. I would choose my boyfriend’s penis over Princess Leia any day of the week. There is nothing like a smooth shaft, the warm flesh and pulsing blood flowing through the tip or the overall aesthetic value of the penis. And that disregards the enjoyment of having another human being involved in your sexual experience.
To those who maintain that sexual interaction between two people is the only way to go: You are right, somewhat. There is something very special about simple sex. To know that all you need is yourself and your partner is an incredible feeling. However, bringing in a sex toy doesn’t necessarily mean that the connection between the participants is fundamentally altered. Using a vibrator during sex does not mean that you’re having kinky sex.
Vibrators simply aid in the sexual process. Most women need between three to 20 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. However, with a vibrator, this time can be significantly shortened. This allows the person being stimulated to reach climax quicker (it can be very frustrating to be lying there for an hour before coming) and gives their partner an easier job, so the mind is less likely to wander, and the hands are less likely to tire.
Vibrators are also used to spice things up in the bedroom. They can be used in conjunction with a penis for dual penetration or on their own for prostate, G-spot or clitoral stimulation. They can do tricks that a penis cannot, so they introduce a whole new element to sex.
To those of you who feel uncomfortable with the idea of something buzzing around your genitals: I say, try it. You may be surprised at your reaction to the sensation. There is, however, some risk involved in vigorous stimulation. Overuse of vibrators can cause you to lose nerve endings in your special places, so everything in moderation.
So get out there and start experimenting. There’s no reason to be afraid of a big, bad vibrator. And the best news? Vibrators are for everyone, whether you’re gay, straight, bisexual or anything else.
September 10, 2008 Maya Horowitz http://flathatnews.com
A How-To Guide for Men on Multiple Orgasms
Men, imagine being rocked by the same luxury that many women enjoy: Multiple orgasms.
These days, thanks to ancient Eastern exercises, more and more men are learning they can experience multiple Os with a partner after weeks of discipline and practice.
So consider this your crash course to exploring multi-orgasmic potential ...
— Build your physical stamina.
If you aren’t already, dedicate yourself to strengthening your pelvic floor muscles. Like women, men can exercise their PC (pubbococcygeus) muscle for better sex and endurance.
— Boost your mental strength.
Concentration is crucial. OK, maybe it sounds weird, but during stimulation, calm your mind by counting to 100. Make each breath worth one count, and don’t let your mind wander.
— Become intimately familiar with your orgasmic response.
Be aware of how your body reacts when it’s sexually aroused. Become familiar with your sexual response cycle, focusing on what goes on during the "plateau phase," which is the third stage of the human sexual response cycle. It follows the desire and excitement phases and precedes orgasm.
The plateau phase is also called the contractile phase or the emissions phase, because it is at this time that the prostate contracts and empties semen into the urethra. At this point, every male must make a major decision: Do I keep doing what I’m doing and go for immediate gratification and emit semen? Or do I slow down a bit, postpone the ultimate pleasure, and attempt ending with multiple orgasms?
If you choose the former, then you’ll enter the third phase of sexual response called the expulsion or orgasm phase, where semen travels through the urethra and out the opening of the penis. But if you hold off, you’ll remain in the contractile phase, relishing a series of prostate contractions. Lasting three to five seconds, these pelvic orgasms may range from mild to intense.
After orgasm, the body enters the resolution phase, during which the muscles relax, blood pressure drops and the body slows from its excited state.
— Perform a balancing act.
If you expect to experience multiple orgasms, you must not give in to certain temptations – those amazing fluttering sensations. If you stay strong and hold your course in hopes of multiple O’s, then you still want to stay as close as possible to this ejaculatory inevitability – that point right before semen is emitted.
Sounds like a lot of work, right? You're not done yet.
To do the above, you must:
— Squeeze your pelvic floor muscles, focusing on those around the prostate.
— Apply pressure to your "million dollar point" while contracting your PC muscle. This point is the area on your perineum (the area between the anal opening and where your scrotal sac attaches to your body). This will help to control the reflexes that can push you over the edge, as well as force more blood to the penis for even more of a throbbing effect.
— Make a mental effort to draw energy away from your genitals and up your spine.
These seven steps will help you in your efforts:
1. Learn how to breathe properly while exercising your pelvic floor muscles. Holding your breath isn’t going to cut it. Practice belly breathing, taking a few deep breaths to relax your entire body and your arousal response. This will ultimately expand orgasmic sensations.
2. Stay positive, challenging thoughts that may have you doubt your abilities.
3. Practice visual imagery. This should involve you being in charge and in control of your sexual response: Be calm, cool and collected while thrusting (including when you’re slowing down and gradually increasing your pace), and reaching the point of inevitability -- and not letting go! It should also involve you imagining your partner’s warmth, wetness, grip... and -- no matter how excited you are -- you’re in charge, relaxed, and at ease.
4. Learn to adapt your state of arousal. Make changes in your behavior, even if it means simply stopping to maintain control.
5. Know what to do during a stop. While it may work to relax and enjoy your lovely, tingly feelings of decreased arousal, you need to be able to think or talk about non-arousing things that will help you to postpone orgasm.
6. Stop before you reach the contractile phase if you tend to lack control in general.
7. Consider using a condom for lasting longer if you don’t already use one.
You might want to read up on this subject, so try Mantak Chia’s “The Multi-Orgasmic Male,” which I think is a super resource.
Furthermore, make sure you’re patient with yourself. You may not always be successful, and that’s OK. Practice makes perfect, remember? So adopt the attitude of "try, try again."
As stated, this is a quick low-down on how a man can begin this ultimate sex journey for himself. This effort, however, takes a lot of time, energy, discipline and practice. It requires solo and partner exercises, with many men not seeing results for four to six weeks. Some men learn to do it on their own, naturally reacting to their body’s rhythms— but even they did not learn this overnight.
Likewise, men who are willing to commit themselves to this exploration have very patient, giving, understanding partners – lovers who are willing to temporarily put their pleasuring on a backburner for a greater cause.
But the hard work and long wait will be worth it.
Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."
September 9, 2008 http://www.foxnews.com
Declaring love boosts sex appeal
Telling someone you fancy 'I really like you' could make him or her find you more attractive, research suggests.
Making eye contact and smiling have a similar effect, says Aberdeen University psychologist Dr Ben Jones.
His study, involving 230 men and women, found such social cues - which signal how much others fancy you - play a crucial role in attraction.
The work will appear in Psychological Science and will be presented at the BA Festival of Science in Liverpool.
Romantic success
Dr Jones said singletons could use his findings to help prevent wasting time chatting up people who were clearly not interested.
"Combining information about others' physical beauty with information about how attracted they appear to be to you allows you to allocate your social effort efficiently," he said.
In other words, avoid wasting time on attractive individuals who appear unlikely to reciprocate.
In the study, 230 men and women were asked to look at flash cards picturing a face with different expressions - making eye contact or not and smiling or not.
The volunteers were then asked to rate how attractive the faces were.
The preference for the attractive face was much stronger when people were judging those faces that were looking at them and smiling.
Dr Lynda Boothroyd, a psychologist at the University of Durham, said: "We like it when attractive people seem to be behaving positively towards us.
"And we seem to end up with people who are on our level in terms of attractiveness.
"Maybe one of the ways you learn your level of attractiveness is through how other people behave towards you."
September 8, 2008 http://news.bbc.co.uk
Sex ads on Denver Craigslist spike with Democrats' arrival
DENVER--An unusual phenomenon has recently appeared on Craigslist's Denver Web site. Sex-wanted ads spiked this week, which happens to coincide with the Democratic National Convention.
Ads seeking casual sexual encounters through the Denver Craigslist site increased an average of roughly 70 percent to 80 percent over the same days of the week earlier in August.
On average, 425 posts on Craiglist's "Casual Encounters" area appeared on the first three Sundays in August. But this Sunday, when tens of thousands of people had arrived for the convention, 763 posts appeared--an 80 percent increase.
The general content is what you might expect. Posts suggested "Here 4 DNC? Come get sexual with me"; "Does the DNC make you hot?"; and "Looking to service a young Democrat." (Most are far more explicit, but unsuitable for our upstanding, discriminating readers. Use your imagination.)
Other days showed the same week-over-week jump. Monday increased 77 percent over the average of earlier in the month; Tuesday increased 69 percent; Wednesday's increase was 74 percent.
This is where we insert the disclaimers. Mere correlation does not imply causation: other factors could explain this rise in advertisements.
Perhaps universities are back in session, or it's warmer or colder out. Perhaps loyalists of another political party are intentionally posting fake advertisements in hopes that the Democrats will be blamed. Perhaps the thousands of journalists in town are seeking extracurricular activities. Make up your own mind. And yes, we'll be paying attention to what happens during the Republican convention as well.
(Technical details: We saved headlines for the posts of each day in August into a text file, and ran the Unix "sort" and "uniq" utilities on each to eliminate duplicate headlines. Also, we noticed that the posts-per-day can vary over time, as posts are deleted once someone's needs are met, making this analysis something of a moving target. The outlier in the chart--a one-day lull--on August 10 seems to have been caused by a previously reported outage.)
August 28, 2008 http://news.cnet.com
The top 10 fantasies of women
A LOT of British women fantasise about acting out the seduction scene from the classic flick, ‘The graduate’, according to a new survey. The survey revealed that most women aged between 28 and 46 long to be sex instructors and love to impart lessons in love to a male virgin, just like the 1967 film, which featured Anne Bancroft and Dustin Hoffman. The women polled said that pulling on the stockings and suspenders and fitting in the role of Mrs Robinson would be as exciting and thrilling as the sex itself. However, the women made it clear that instead of trying out this fantasy of seducing a younger man, they preferred doing it with their regular partners.
The second dream that made the popular dream chart was to keep a man as a sex slave. Other fantasies in the top 10 included a lesbian romp, a threesome with two hunks and joining in an orgy, reported a leading website. The study revealed that the number one soft spot that most women would love to be kissed was the neck.
The next to follow was the ear followed by the inner thigh, according to the survey conducted by Skinbliss. A lot of women also complained that their partners tended to stare down their top while they should have been staring in their eyes.
The following are the top 10 sexual fantasies of women as revealed by the survey:
1. Mrs Robinson and the toy boy
2. Having a man as a sex slave
3. Being carried off by a hunky stranger
4. Pretending to be a high-class call girl
5. Lesbian romp
6. Threesome with two guys
7. Going to an orgy
8. Sex on a tropical beach
9. Joining the mile-high club
10. Sex in a public place
September 1, 2008 http://www.merinews.com
Sex addiction: A disorder or pseudoscience?
It's not exactly a recipe for domestic bliss.
First, actor David Duchovny announced last week that he was entering a rehab centre for sex addiction. Now his wife, actor Téa Leoni, who hasn't had a hit film in years, has reportedly bailed on this week's Toronto International Film Festival, where she was to promote the movie Ghost Town, to avoid awkward questions about her husband's sex habits.
But Mr. Duchovny's news also highlights another rift, one that's simmering among therapists and psychiatrists over the subject of "sex addiction" - and whether it even exists.
On one side are experts who say people can be addicted to sex or pornography, just like alcohol or cocaine. To curb the compulsion, some therapists treat the condition with programs such as Sexaholics Anonymous.
"I think everyone has known someone with a sex addiction," says Doris Vincent, a psychologist with Edmonton's Recovery Path Counselling Services, which offers 12-step programs for sex addicts and their partners.
She defines sexual addiction as "sexual behaviour that you cannot control despite negative consequences," including addictions to pornography, masturbation or massage parlours.
But others say diagnosis of the condition is a pseudoscience.
"I don't believe in sex addiction," says David McKenzie, a Vancouver sex therapist who is among those who say the term "addiction" is misleading.
They are backed by the American Psychiatric Association, which publishes the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the clinical bible for psychiatrists and psychologists in Canada and the United States. Sexual addiction is not included in the manual's list of recognized conditions.
"It's not in there because so-called sex addiction doesn't follow the usual characteristics of what we think an addiction is," said Paul Fedoroff, a psychiatrist and head of the Sexual Behaviours Clinic at the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre.
Those characteristics include dependence on an external substance, an increasing tolerance for that substance, and withdrawal when it's removed, he said.
"If we start talking about sex addiction, we also have to talk about addiction to [other behaviours] like sleep, or eating, or breathing," Dr. Fedoroff said.
As well, it's difficult to define what is too much sex.
"When I hear that someone has a sex addiction I never know how strong their sex drive is. I also don't know how much sex they're having," he said. "I think it's more useful to talk about sexual preoccupation." Dr. Fedoroff says most patients are treated through individual counselling.
Still, no matter what you call it, experts agree that sex can play havoc with some people's lives if it becomes an obsession. People who say they are addicted to sex or pornography are more likely to be depressed or to have substance-abuse problems, Dr. Federoff says.
Ms. Vincent, who has counselled hundreds of people in the past 10 years for sex addiction, the vast majority of them men, says families also suffer.
"The wife is leaving and the children don't want to talk to them. ... I think that's the worst combination," she said.
People who enter Ms. Vincent's program have weekly counselling sessions and enter 12-step programs. Some people may require periods of abstinence from sex, or the removal of Internet access.
Ms. Vincent was certified by Patrick Carnes, a U.S. psychiatrist who pioneered the Certified Sex Addiction Therapist program and the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals, which defines sexual addiction as sexually related compulsive behaviour that interferes with normal living and causes severe stress on a person's family, friends, loved ones and work environment.
Only a small minority of people will have serious problems with sex, Dr. McKenzie said.
Mr. Duchovny - who has been married for 11 years to Ms. Leoni, with whom he has a nine-year-old daughter and a six-year-old son - should be treated with compassion, he said.
"It may well be that he has a sexual compulsivity that needs to be treated," he said. "It can destroy your life. ... But I want to distinguish those people, who are a very small minority, from the person who likes to masturbate every day, or from the person who likes to have sex with his wife twice a day. That's not a sexual addiction."
Extramarital snares
MICHAEL DOUGLAS
Labelled a sex addict by ex-wife Diandra Douglas in the early 1990s after a very messy public divorce, Mr. Douglas sought treatment in a Los Angeles clinic and now calls himself a "recovering sex addict." To keep himself in line, Mr. Douglas has reportedly agreed to pay a $5-million (U.S.) "straying fee" to current wife Catherine Zeta-Jones if caught in an extramarital snare.BILLY BOB THORNTON
When Mr. Thornton and Angelina Jolie split, British tabloid the Daily Star reported the actor cheated on his wife with his sex therapist. According to the newspaper, Ms. Jolie ordered Mr. Thornton to seek therapy after he reportedly slept with a raft of groupies and household staff.ERIC BENÉT
Halle Berry's estranged husband checked himself into an Arizona rehab centre to treat a sex addiction in 2002, two years before their tumultuous split. Mr. Benét later denied having a problem, saying he was a "person who ... through a series of emotional events, troubles, challenges, made some really, really stupid, painful mistakes."
September 3, 2008 http://www.theglobeandmail.com
Is sex on the beach legal?
Two Britons have appeared in court in Dubai after allegedly having sex on a beach in the Muslim emirate. What would happen if a couple got frisky on a beach in the UK?
The sandy shores of a beautiful beach might seem like the ideal setting for a romantic rendezvous.
But for 30-somethings Michelle Palmer and Vince Acors, getting carried away in the heat of the moment could come at a heavy price.
The pair - who are not a couple - were arrested in Dubai on 5 July, and charged with indecent behaviour, being drunk in public and having unmarried sex.
They admit drinking but deny the other charges. If found guilty at next week's trial, the punishment is between three months and six years in jail.
But would al fresco lovers face a similar fate if the mood took them on the shingle shores of Brighton or the golden sands of Durness?
The Sexual Offences Act 2003, which mainly covers England and Wales but also covers Northern Ireland in some areas, does not specifically legislate against sex on the beach so long as the act is consensual, says a Ministry of Justice spokeswoman.
"Effectively sex on the beach in isolated places is allowed, so long as there is a reasonable expectation of privacy - which someone engaging in such an activity would be expected to prove."
But someone could be charged with outraging public decency under common law, she says, if it is proven that at least one person has seen the act.
The witness has to see the "act of intimacy" first-hand. CCTV does not count, says travel lawyer Philip Banks, of the firm Irwin Mitchell.
Section 66 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 - which bans exposing one's genitals if the intention is to cause alarm or distress - can also be applied in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.
Although the act does not fully apply in Scotland, indecent exposure is an offence under common law, says a spokesman for the Law Society of Scotland, although intent would be difficult to prove.
The same expectation of privacy applies north of the border, although there could be a breach of the peace if someone saw and was offended.
Another thing to bear in mind is that getting frisky on the beach in the presence of a child is a criminal offence under section 11 of the act, says the Ministry of Justice spokeswoman.
And a person can also be charged if they use "words, behaviour or display" to cause another person harassment, alarm or distress under sections four and five of the Public Order Act 1986.
But both of these offences only apply if the couple intend to cause alarm, or are aware that a child is watching, says Mr Banks. "These legislations are very unlikely to be used in this context."
Punishment
Sentencing in the UK depends on the offence and its circumstances, and is a matter for the courts.
It is rare for an amorous couple to appear in court, says criminal lawyer Mark Haslam, of BCL Burton Copeland. If police do spot a couple engaging in al fresco love making, they are more likely to issue a caution or warning.
"But if it is reported by a passing - and outraged - member of the public, the couple are likely to be prosecuted and would probably be fined, with the case reported gleefully in the local press," says Mr Banks.
But holidaymakers should be aware that many countries are not as liberal as ours, he says.
"It would be regarded as a much more serious offence in the Middle East, most of Asia, Africa and most Catholic countries - and probably the USA too."
September 2, 2008 http://news.bbc.co.uk
Giant smelly flower puts on sex show in Belgium
MEISE, Belgium (Reuters) - It's one of the world's largest flowers, it stinks of rotting meat or rancid cheese and looks very much like a giant penis.
The Amorphophallus Titanum -- literally "the giant strangely shaped penis" -- has been attracting big crowds at the National Botanic Garden of Belgium on the outskirts of Brussels.
The rare phallus-like flower that springs from the plant only survives about 72 hours and its timing is completely unpredictable, said Gert Ausloos, head of education at the garden.
Auloos called it "a botanical superstar". "It's there for a short time, it's glamorous, it's big, it produces something special ... it's star quality."
Also known as Corpse Flower, it releases a strong smell to attract pollinators, thought to be sweat bees.
Thousands queued to see -- and smell -- the 1.6 metre tall specimen on Thursday.
Visitors compared the smell to rotten fish, others to rotten meat or old cheese.
"It smells like a mix of rotten fish and rotten meat. It's quite impressive!" said visitor Frederic Lebreux.
"I don't know, maybe like a Camembert," said Rachel Kaiembe.
First discovered in 1878 in western Sumatra, the plant was first cultivated in Europe at the Royal Botanic Garden, Kew, in London in 1889. Because of its appearance, Victorian women were kept from viewing it.
(Reporting by Marine Hass; writing by Ingrid Melander; editing by David Brunnstrom)
August 8, 2008 http://nz.entertainment.yahoo.com
Eight bad reasons to have sex
As I'm sure you're well aware, there are many good reasons to have sex. In fact, sometimes you don't need any reason at all -- other than, say, loving your partner.
Eight bad reasons to have sex
However, sometimes a lady finds herself doing all the right things for all the wrong reasons. That's what we're here to cover. So if you find yourself in any of the following situations, please extricate yourself as quickly as possible:
Revenge: The most popular very-wrong reason to have sex, revenge sex never ends well.
Hooking up with his best friend because you're angry at your boyfriend will get you nowhere. If you do manage to break up their friendship, then you're stuck with an untrustworthy dude (if he did it to him, he'll do it to you).
Even worse, there's always the (strong) possibility that he went right back and told his buddy and the two of them are now comparing notes over high-fives and hot wings.
Ego gratification: You must be fine if that scorching hot bartender took you home. Or not. Men have been known to do some unsavory things for physical gratification. The fact that he's willing and able doesn't say squat about your appeal.
Appliance envy: Your roommate "doesn't believe" in air conditioning. You can't afford premium cable and are addicted to "Weeds." You're desperate to try out Wii Fit. All of these desires are perfectly rational.
However, they are absolutely not worth the price of waking up next to someone you otherwise cannot stand. (Well, except for the AC, but that's only if it's above 100 Fahrenheit.)
Weight loss: Yes, you may have read those women's magazine articles about how being physically intimate can help you shed pounds. However, a 120-pound woman burns only 57 calories during 15 minutes of sex. That's less than half a Hostess Ho-Ho. The sweat could do nice things for your skin, but your waist will remain the same size.
Clarity: Ever since you were nine years old and saw that topless Kate Moss Calvin Klein ad, you've had a hunch you were same-sex oriented.
Unfortunately, the thought of sharing this with anyone scares you, so you get yourself a boyfriend. But you can't stop thinking about that ad....
Mercy: Empathy for a sad soul is one thing; holding an intimate pity party is quite another. Oh, and you know that saying, "no good deed goes unpunished?" It goes triple in this instance. Misery loves company -- good luck getting him out of your apartment.
Quid pro quo: I'm not knocking or talking about the sex professionals out there -- this is for the amateurs among us. Just because he bought you a lobster doesn't mean you need to give up dessert. Catch my drift?
Fame by association: He's famous, you want to be. Contrary to what you might've surmised from that old Pamela Des Barres book, "I'm With The Band: Confessions Of A Groupie," fame is not transmissible through intimate contact. However, lots of other things are, so watch out.
August 28, 2008 Judy McGuire http://www.cnn.com
3 Ways To Put Sex Back Into Your Marriage
When you and your mate first met, it’s a safe bet
there were sexual fireworks. The newness of the relationship, the rush
of anticipation and the fact that you were about to enter into a
previously unknown erotic experience all added up to phenomenal sex.
And that’s the way it should be.
But once you two got to know each other, that same kind of electricity
didn’t come so easily anymore. Sometimes, getting worked up sexually
can seem like more work than play! That’s normal too, and you’re
absolutely right to be looking for ways to spice things up again, since
sexual attraction is one of the keys to long-lasting marriages.
So, let’s look at three factors that added up to great sex when you
first slept with your mate, and see how you can reintroduce them into
the bedroom.
Freshen Things Up
You may assume that there’s no way to get around the newness of the
experience, but that’s not quite the case. Yes, this soul next to you
in bed is still your life partner, and no doubt, a few years older and
more worn than when you first laid eyes on each other. But you can use
fantasy to meet your mate all over again. You can arrange for a blind
date in a bar, find each other at a dance club or approach each other
at the county fair. You can even precede the event by placing an ad in
the personals section of the newspaper. Walk over, introduce yourself,
and see if you’re able to get into each other’s pants! You don’t have
to go out of your own home to stir up that sense of novelty. You can
meet someone new by role-playing with your partner. Want a cute
waitress, a kindergarten teacher, an escaped con or a personal trainer?
Just ask your wife or husband to dress up for the part.
Waiting Game
Anticipation was also part of your original chemistry and since you
kind of know that your guy or gal is a willing sex partner, there’s not
that same breath-stopping moment before going to bed together. But
there can be. Set up some mystery for your next sexual liaison. Have
her hide somewhere in the house. Lock the doors on him and have him
figure out which window is open (preferably when there are no kids
around). Play up the moment and postpone your sexual liaison. Your wife
might enjoy wearing sexy clothes. When she does this, try to fight her
off a bit as she tries to lure you. If she plays along, you could ask
her to refuse you a few times and finally give in. The growing heights
of expectation should get the love juices going—much like when you were
dating.
You can build expectations together by going to a sex-toy shop. Walk
around, get ideas and start to touch each other as you talk about what
you can or won’t do together. Even if you don’t buy anything, the
anticipation will guarantee that you won’t even make it out of the car
before you’re all over each other.
New Tricks
Untried sexual experiences were rampant when you were dating, but
unless you’ve memorized the Karma Sutra, there are sure to be sexual
experiences you haven’t tried. Experimenting with new sexual practices
is a great way to increase the "wow" factor in your love life. One way
to get started is to actually buy a toy at the sex shop. Doesn’t matter
what it is, just having something new will get the motors revved-up.
Also, watching a porn movie can give you some ideas for new positions.
Finally, find unusual places to have sex that will challenge you to be
inventive about positions. Sitting on a rocking chair or a rocky shore,
laying spread eagle on a granite kitchen countertop or on a
towel-strewn bathroom floor are all challenging, but fun places to try
getting it on.
Bonus Sex
There’s something distinctive about the urgent ecstasy of being a
teenager making out in the back seat of a Chevy. But one of the
wonderful things about being hitched is it gives you the chance to find
a deeper and more meaningful quality of lovemaking. Pay attention to
the sense of closeness you feel with your life partner and enjoy the
"buzz" of bonding not only with the person’s body, but with their soul
as well.
Introducing novelty, stirring up anticipation and learning new sexual
techniques won’t guarantee that all your encounters will be
gangbusters, but by mixing the tried and true with the wild and new,
you’ll get enough fantastic sex to keep both of you happy for a
longtime.
Dr. Haltzman is a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at
Brown University. He is also the author of the newly released "The
Secrets of Happily Married Women: How to Get More Out of Your
Relationship by Doing Less." You can find Dr. Haltzman at www.DrScott.com
August 27, 2008
http://www.hitchedmag.com
'Longer sex' billboards banned
Prominent billboards promising longer lasting sex are to be removed from all capital cities across Australia.
The yellow billboards advertise medication for sexual dysfunction.
But the Advertising Standards Bureau (ASB) says it has received between five to 15 complaints a week over the ads and yesterday announced they will be removed.
The move is a reversal of the Bureau's 2007 decision that the advertisements were acceptable.
The Advanced Medical Institute (AMI) today said it would comply with the ASB's ruling.
"Our ads have been very successful in reaching men with sexual health issues to explain that help is available," AMI CEO Jack Vaisman said in a released statement
"We need to be direct in our advertising because we've found men don't respond to the message otherwise.
"More than 7,000 men call the Advanced Medical Institute every week for assistance. However, we are sensitive to community attitudes and if we're deemed to be out of step, then we'll change.
"What's concerning is that the ASB has done a complete about-face on community standards - last year the word 'sex' was OK, today it's not.
"We're not out to offend anyone, the purpose of our direct advertising approach is to let men know that help is available."
ASB chief executive Alison Abernethy says the ruling is not a reflection of the board being out of touch with community attitudes.
"I think that this shows the board is very responsive to the community's needs," she said.
"I think it demonstrates a clear understanding and belief in community, that community standards are always shifting."
August 26, 2008 http://www.abc.net.au
Beer goggles: A drink or two really DOES make the opposite sex more attractive
It is something that anyone who has woken up regretting the night before has long suspected.
Now researchers have finally proved that beauty is in fact in the eye of the beer holder, rather than the beholder.
According to a new study, people do appear more attractive to both sexes when they've had a drink and have their 'beer goggles' on.
As little as a pint and a half of beer is enough to make everyone seem more desirable, researchers have found.
Men are worst affected, with their vision distorted or their 'goggles' lasting for as long as 24 hours after a heavy drinking session.
The study, conducted at Bristol University, involved male and female volunteers being randomly allocated either a drink of vodka and lime or a similar-tasting soft drink.
Half an hour later, they were asked to rate the attractiveness of 20 male and 20 female faces on a seven-point scale.
Those who had been drinking alcohol scored the faces around 10 per cent higher than those who had not.
The following day both sexes were tested again and men who had drunk alcohol still scored pictures of women more highly than the non-drinkers.
The researchers concluded: 'Alcohol consumption increases ratings of attractiveness of facial stimuli.
'In addition, the effects of alcohol consumption on ratings of attractiveness persist for up to 24 hours after consumption but only in male participants when rating female faces.''
Lead researcher Dr Marcus Munafo, an experimental psychologist, said the findings helped explain the phenomenon of drinkers having sex with someone they would never normally consider while sober.
'The findings are important because of the role drink plays in, for example, unsafe sex,' he added.
Experts believe that alcohol stimulates the striatum, an area of the brain that plays an important role in attraction.
Previous studies have found that more than two thirds of people – 68 per cent – have woken up the morning after the night before regretting handing out their phone number to someone they were not attracted to when sober.
Researchers from Manchester University concluded that light levels in pubs and clubs, the beholder's eyesight and closeness in proximity to the object of their desire all played a part in the 'beer goggles' effect.
August 11, 2008 http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk
Sex Trade Spikes During Conventions
Prostitution in Denver and Minneapolis will spike during the political conventions held there in the coming weeks, experts say, and online ads indicate sex workers are preparing themselves.
"Republican Convention Party Entertainment – Hostesses wanted," reads the headline of one "erotic services" ad from the Minneapolis area on Craig's List, the popular classified-ad Web site.
In the advertisement, the unnamed outfit said it was looking for "fun, outgoing" women to help entertain "High-end clients" during the convention, expected to bring tens of thousands of delegates, reporters, lobbyists and volunteers to the Twin Cities in two weeks.
The company did not respond to an emailed request for an interview. A recorded message for the phone number listed in the ad did not allow a message to be left.
In Denver, where the Democrats will hold their convention next week, a Craig's List "erotic services" ad titled "DNC Delight" beckoned, "Help me celebrate democracy," and promised a tall, blue-eyed, dirty-blond "Rebecca" will come to a visitor's room ("I only do outcalls to hotels").
In a second ad, "Rebecca" explained that she was offering a special convention rate of $350 for two hours – but to qualify, clients must "provide proof of dem. Membership."
Speaking by phone Thursday, "Rebecca" declined to give her real name and denied she performed sex acts for money. She confirmed that responses to her online ads had increased in the days leading up to next week's convention.
"We know it's going to rise," said Vednita Carter of Breaking Free, a Denver-based nonprofit which helps women and girls involved in prostitution and sex trafficking. "That's what we've been hearing from women who are involved in that life."
Crowds like those coming for the political conventions will inevitably mean a boost for the sex industry, said former prostitute Carol Leigh, a spokeswoman for the San Francisco-based sex workers-rights group Call Off Your Old Tired Ethics (COYOTE). Indeed, any convention which draws so many people boosts the prostitution business -- not just the political gatherings, said Leigh.
Police in St. Paul and Denver did not respond to requests for comment Thursday. In earlier news accounts, police spokesmen in both cities dismissed concerns that their cities' sex trades would flourish during the conventions.
August 22, 2008 Justin Rood http://www.abcnews.go.com
P&G to License Noven's Patch for Women's Sex Drive
Procter & Gamble, the world's largest consumer-products company, will license Noven Pharmaceuticals Inc.'s hormone skin patch designed to boost sex drive in women, Noven said.
Procter & Gamble will pay Noven undisclosed royalties, manufacturing fees and milestone payments for meeting development and commercial goals, Miami-based Noven said in a statement. Noven rose the most in three months in Nasdaq Stock Market trading.
The experimental testosterone patch treats lack of desire, the most common sexual complaint of women, according to Noven. The $2 billion-a-year market for male impotence treatments, led by Pfizer Inc.'s Viagra, has spurred a search for a version of the drugs for women. Procter & Gamble sells a testosterone patch for women, known as Intrinsa, in Europe though no therapy for the disorder has been approved in the U.S.
``We are excited to be advancing our collaboration with one of the world's best-regarded companies,'' said Peter Brandt, Noven's president and chief executive officer, in the statement.
A study published July 23 in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that Viagra improved sexual desire in women taking antidepressants who had complained that the medication diminished their arousal. Pfizer has said it conducted numerous tests of Viagra in women that showed the drug didn't increase women's desire or sexual enjoyment.
Still, several different therapies are being studied for women's lack of desire such as Lincolnshire, Illinois-based BioSante Pharmaceutical Inc.'s testosterone gel, LibGel. The therapy is part of three, late-stage studies that will involve more than 3,500 women, according to BioSante's Web site.
Cincinnati-based P&G will fund clinical development costs for Noven's patch and oversee applications to regulatory agencies, according to Noven.
August 21, 2008 http://www.bloomberg.com
Park bench as sex partner
A "lonely and disturbed" Hong Kong man had to call police to try and
free him after getting stuck on a park bench he had apparently tried to
have sex with.
Emergency workers took four hours trying to free Le Xing in the deserted park after dark.
Eventually they had to take him to hospital with the bench's 2.5-metre-long metal base still attached to him.
August 20, 2008
http://ukpress.google.com
Getting Down With The SaSi: Does The "Most Technologically Advanced Vibe Ever" Live Up To The Hype?
The SaSi is, quite possibly, the most hyped sex toy ever introduced to the sex parts—it's certainly the most hyped sex toy that I've seen in my lifetime. Since announced at the AVN Expo this past January, I've heard countless tales of how technologically advanced the toy is; how unlike any other toy it is; how it will give you an orgasm, cook you dinner, and polish your floor to such a shine that you can see your face in it. (Okay, I made that last one up.) But now that the months have passed and the SaSi is finally available for purchase, does is actually live up to the hype?
The manufacturer of the SaSi makes two main claims about it: that it learns what you like and that it stimulates the body in a way completely unlike any other sex toy. So let's take these one at a time.
The first time I heard that the SaSi could learn how to get me off, I got a little freaked out, thinking that this toy was powered by some kind of A.I. voodoo that would sense when and how often and how hard the toy made me came. Not so much, though: turns out "learns what you like" is actually just code for "fancy system of programmable stimulation settings."
In other words, the SaSi has two different modes: "learning mode" and "favorites mode". (You select which mode you'd like to enter after you turn the toy on.) In learning mode, the SaSi works its way through every stimulation setting and pauses for twenty seconds at each movement pattern. If you like the way a pattern feels, you can hit the "don't stop" button. When you shut the toy off, favorites mode updates with your last five "don't stop" settings, turning the mode mode into your own customized orgasm session. It may not be as impressive as some A.I. voodoo, but it's still pretty cool.
As for the completely unique stimulation method, though ... well, this is where the SaSi really, really shines. Most vibrators function as a blunt object of erotic stimulation. You turn them on, they vibrate. Sure, you can alter the speed or pattern of vibration, and some of them have parts that swivel, but there's not a lot of subtlety involved.
But with the SaSi, things are different. From the top side, the SaSi looks a bit like a sleek, wireless mouse. Flip it over, however, and its true nature is revealed. You'll see a small bump, and it's this bump that makes all the difference. It kicks into action when you turn the SaSi on, moving along the clit as fast or as slow as you wish: it moves sideways, it moves in circles, it moves up and down. Most importantly, it places pressure (not vibration, but pressure) directly on or around the clit. As you may have guessed, it pretty closely simulates getting head. Try getting a Hitachi Magic Wand to do that.
But that's not all: in addition to the movements of its magic bump, the SaSi is also capable of vibrating in a traditional style. With the push of a different button, the body of the SaSi starts rocking and rolling. Vibration can be increased or decreased, or set to a variety of pulse patterns. If you can imagine a small tongue moving just the way you like that's connected to a flat, vibrating head ... well, that's pretty much what the SaSi is like. In other words, it's awesome.
I had just two issues with the SaSi. The first issue was relatively minor: after extended periods of use, the SaSi tends to get a bit hot. I wasn't particularly bothered by the sensation—I actually kinda liked it—but a part of me did worry a bit about the motor overheating, or possibly catching on fire. (It never happened. I just worry.)
The second issue was a bit more bothersome, and certainly something to keep in mind if you're planning on spending $185 to buy one. The SaSi is strictly a clitoral toy, which means it's not designed to penetrate the vagina. So if you need penetration to get off, or if clitoral stimulation makes you want to get fucked, you might find yourself a bit unsatisfied if you're not using it in combination with another toy.
On the other hand, if clitoral stimulation is all you need to get your world rocking, this may just be the best thing that's ever happened to your ladyparts. It's been a long, frustrating wait for the SaSi. But now that it's finally available, I can definitely say that wait was worth it.
You might also appreciate the fact that the SaSi is a rechargeable vibrator with a sterilizable silicone coating. So if you're diligent about cleaning it, you can share it with your loved ones. But with a toy this good, you might not want to.
August 19, 2008 http://fleshbot.com/
Pills snuff out women’s smell power
London: The Pill can screw up a woman's ability to sniff out a suitable partner, suggests a new University of Liverpool research.
Women are said to have an inbuilt ability to pick up the scent of a partner who differs genetically. Falling for this type of man helps ensure that the couple's children will have broad immunity against disease, so the theory goes.
But researchers found that birth controlling pills disrupt a woman's power to recognise the aroma of a compatible mate, says the study which has been published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences.
Disturbing a woman's instinctive attraction to genetically different men could result in difficulties when trying to conceive, an increased risk of miscarriage and long intervals between pregnancies.
Passing on a lack of diverse genes to a child could also weaken their immune system.
Called the Major Histocompatibility Complex (MHC), different MHC molecules fight different diseases, so it is important to have a mix of MHC types.
Previous studies have shown that, even though humans have a relatively poor sense of smell compared with other creatures, women tend to identify partners with suitable MHC molecules - preferring males with the correct mix of immune genes critical for the survival of future offspring and to curb inbreeding, which is harmful.
To reach the conclusions, the research team analysed how the contraceptive pill affects odour preferences. In the study, one hundred women were asked to indicate their preferences on six male body odour samples, drawn from 97 volunteer samples, before and after starting to take the contraceptive pill.
They did not find that women who were not on the pill were more attracted to men with a different MHC, showing that the extent to which preferences for genetically dissimilar odours varies from study to study.
But they did find that the pill made women more likely to be attracted to a man with a similar immune makeup.
“The results showed that the preferences of women who began using the contraceptive pill shifted towards men with genetically similar odours,” Telegraph quoted Dr Craig Roberts, who carried out the work in collaboration with the University of Newcastle, as saying.
“Not only could MHC-similarity in couples lead to fertility problems but it could ultimately lead to the breakdown of relationships when women stop using the contraceptive pill, as odour perception plays a significant role in maintaining attraction to partners,” he added.
August 18, 2008 http://sify.com
Man banned from sex at love nest
A man has been banned by a court from having sex with his partner at her home after keeping neighbours awake with loud shouting and banging in the night.
Brighton council obtained an injunction against Adam Hinton, 32, of Brighton, for threatening neighbours whose complaints had led to legal action.
Last week he was fined £200 for breaching a noise abatement order.
Partner Kerry Norris faced eviction and Mr Hinton has been banned from going within 100m (109 yards) of her flat.
Ms Norris lives in a one-bedroom council flat in Brighton.
Neighbours said they had suffered two years of the couple's noise throughout the night.
Some suffering sleepless nights had to be rehoused by the council.
August 14, 2008 http://news.bbc.co.uk
Healthy Sex Life Can Extend Into 80s
A satisfying sex life is possible as you age into your 70s and 80s, new research suggests.
Many older Americans are apparently taking advantage of that fact, because 68 percent of men between 57 and 85 reported having sex last year, as did 42 percent of women, according to the study's lead author, Edward Laumann, the George Herbert Mead Distinguished Service Professor of Sociology at the University of Chicago. And, Laumann added, more older women might have wanted to have sex, but there just aren't as many available older men for them to partner with.
"Healthy people can have reasonably satisfying sexual health for most of their lives," said Laumann. "There are challenges that arise, but it's not aging, per se, that's the issue. A decline in sexuality may be the canary in the mineshaft. Sexual problems may manifest before diabetes and high blood pressure."
The study findings were published in the current issue ofThe Journal of Sexual Medicine.
"It's definitely whether you're elderly or "wellderly" that makes a difference," said Dr. Virginia Sadock, director of the program of human sexuality at New York University Langone Medical Center in New York City. "Illness and medications make a difference in sex lives."
Other factors that can get in the way of a satisfying sex life later in life include having had a sexually transmitted disease, and having physical problems, mental health issues or relationship difficulties, the study found.
The study included information from 1,550 women and 1,455 men between the ages of 57 and 85. All participated in the National Social Life, Health and Aging Project.
Some highlights of the study include:
Having had a sexually transmitted disease (STD) in the past nearly quadrupled a woman's odds of having sexual pain, and it tripled the odds a woman would have lubrication problems. In men, a history of STD was associated with five times the risk of finding sex unpleasant. In both older men and women, a common factor in sexual dysfunction and a decreased interest in sex was urinary tract syndrome. Both older men and older women reported that mental health issues affected their interest in sex. For men, relationship troubles also contributed to a lack of interest in sex and the inability to achieve orgasm. Drinking alcohol daily improved a women interest in and pleasure from sex. Alcohol didn't have that effect on men.Hispanic women were twice as likely to report pain during intercourse.Black men were twice as likely to say they weren't interested in sex and were more likely to report climaxing early.
"Sexual health is a harbinger of physical and mental health, and it plays an important role in the quality of life," Laumann said. "Older people don't just drop out of the picture. In general, if you're healthy, you can be sexually active."
Sadock added: "Don't assume that because you're older, your sex life has to be gone. If you're healthy and connected to someone, and you've had a pretty good sex life when you're younger, then you can have a pretty good sex life in old age."
More information
To read more about sex as you age, visit the U.S. National Women's Health Information Center.
SOURCES: Edward Laumann, Ph.D., George Herbert Mead Distinguished Service Professor of Sociology, the University of Chicago; Virginia A. Sadock, M.D., psychiatrist and director of the program of human sexuality, New York University Langone Medical Center, and professor, NYU School of Medicine, New York City; August 2008,The Journal of Sexual Medicine
August 14, 2008 Serena Gordon http://www.washingtonpost.com
Men challenge sex toy 'discrimination'
Apoteket, the state-run chain in Sweden, has been reported to JämO, the country's equal opportunities ombudsman, over its decision to stock only female sex aids.
The chain introduced the lines of vibrators and other items in June, but two claims have already been made against it.
One said that Apoteket was guilty of double standards, giving a "misguided and untrue view on sexuality where a woman with a dildo is seen as liberated, strong and independent, whereas a man with a blow up plastic vagina is viewed as disgusting and perverted."
But the company has defended its decision, saying it would stock sex toys for men if there were any good ones on the market.
Eva Fernvall, who oversees products for Apoteket said the company believed "there are no products of good quality for men on the market".
"Should there be such products specifically for men, then there is nothing stopping us from selling them," she added.
The ombudsman has rejected the claims, saying that "Apoteket's goods are made available to men and women, and therefore Apoteket does not break the law regarding sex discrimination".
August 12, 2008 David Thomas http://www.telegraph.co.uk
Dial S for Sex
A disturbing number of people confess to talking on a mobile phone during sex.
In a UK-wide survey by iGizmo, just over one per cent of people admit to talking on their phone whilst "on the job". One per cent doesn't sound like a lot, but it really is one per cent too many. On top of that, two per cent confess to talking on their phone during a funeral, whilst more than a third have chatted on a mobile whilst sitting on the bog at work, at home or in a public dunny.
The survey looked into the gadget usage habits of nearly 10,000 male and female consumers aged 16 to 45. I think the most disturbing thing about these results is that they probably won't come as much of a shock to most people.
Considering your phone is constantly by your side, people answering calls in the dunny shouldn't come as a surprise. Talking at a funeral is poor form, but even if you don't have respect for the dead you think you'd at least have respect for the living - especially when you're in the middle of shagging them.
It must be a pretty dud root if you'd rather answer a call rather than let it go through to voicemail and I wouldn't hold out much hope for the relationship. If you're waiting on a call that's really *that* important, maybe you should have kept your pants on a little longer.
It's pretty clear that people are obsessed with being connected and have their priorities out of whack. According to the survey, a mobile phone and an MP3 player are ranked higher on the list of priorities than beer, wine, spirits and smoking. Under 24s value socialising and their mobile second only to their family, whereas nearly nine per cent of under 16s view their mobile phone as more important than their health and their family.
Even allowing for possibly dodgy survey methodology, these results are a worry. What does it take for you to let a call go through to voicemail or, heaven forbid, turn off your mobile phone?
August 8, 2008 Adam Turner http://blogs.smh.com.au/
Thousands apply for job as sex toy tester
A website was inundated with responses from randy readers after it announced it was looking for sex toy testers.
Thousands signed up with the hope of landed the job where they would beasked to rigorously test 10 vibrators, bringing a new meaning to the term 'putting a hard day in at the office.'
20 lucky women were sent the £300 worth of sex toys and were asked to rate them in terms of, attractiveness, build quality, quietness, strength of vibrations and orgasm quality.
The website has now released the results of all the 'hard work' the women put in and named their top sex toy.
A weird looking device called the Fun Factory Delight came top with many of the 20 testers giving it a 100 percent orgasm rating.
August 8, 2008 http://newslite.tv
Marital sex on TV burdensome or non-existent: study
A new study says the boob tube is undermining traditional family values and creating a world where adultery and pre-marital sex are the new normal.
The study by The Parents Television Council, titled "Happily Never After" finds that television broadcast networks depict sex within marriage as "either non-existent or burdensome while showing positive depictions of extra-marital or adulterous sexual relationships with alarming frequency."
"These study results suggest that many in Hollywood are actively seeking to undermine marriage by consistently showing it in a negative manner," said Tim Winter, president of the PTC, in a release.
He goes on to say that in addition to its mostly negative portrayal of marriage, television has also become a stage for sexual expression that would have been unacceptable less than a generation ago.
Those include, according to the survey, threesomes, partner swapping, pedophilia, necrophilia, bestiality and sex with prostitutes.
Add to that depictions of strippers, references to masturbation and sex toys, and television has created the perfect storm to blast away the last remnants of family values in Hollywood, the report suggests.
Winter said the phenomenon will undoubtedly influence the values of future generations.
"Throughout much of the history of broadcast television, the networks adhered to a voluntary code of conduct which stipulated that respect should be maintained for the sanctity of marriage and the value of the home. Our report finds that not only are the boundaries no longer respected - they have been obliterated," Winter said.
The researchers who conducted the study examined all prime time entertainment programs on the five major U.S. networks over a four week period last fall. Movies, news, sports and reality programming were not included.
The networks ABC, CBS, Fox, NBC and the CW were included in the study.
Following are some of the key findings of the study across all networks:
* Verbal references to non-marital sex outnumbered references to marital sex three to one.
* Scenes depicting or implying sex between non married couples outnumbered by a ratio of four to one, scenes between married partners.
* References to adultery outweighed by a ratio of two to one, references to marital sex.
Following are some of the study's findings broken down by network:
* ABC has the most references to marital sex, but many of them put it in a negative light, while almost all referenced to non-marital sex were positive or at worst, neutral.
* In 46 hours of programming NBC has only one reference to marital sex while there were 11 references to non-marital sex and one reference to adultery.
* Also on NBC, references to incest, pedophilia, bestiality, prostitution, transsexuals/transvestites, partner-swapping and necrophilia outnumbered references to marital sex 27 to one.
* And a tally showed NBC's depictions of adults having sex with minors as equal in number to scenes implying or depicting sex between married partners.
But Rob Salem, television critic for the Toronto Star, said the PTC is naive if it believes television has a role as an ambassador for family values.
"There's the expectation that television is some reflection of reality. Reality television isn't even a reflection of reality," Salem told CTV Newsnet.
"Have these people been living in a cave? I mean, pre-marital sex, extra-martial sex, it's not like this is new to television. It's been around for a while."
The study mentions the steamy "Grey's Anatomy", "Boston Legal" and "Desperate Housewives" as harmful to families, while the shows "Everybody Hates Chris" and "Friday Night Lights" are listed as depicting solid family values.
But Salem said TV has always pushed the boundaries and is continuing that trend.
"The thing I find encouraging is a lot of these shows are going beyond that and reinforcing non-traditional families with single parents or same-sex parents," Salem said.
Winter, on the other hand, is calling for a return to more modest prime time programming.
"Broadcasters, knowing television's ability to influence behavior, must exercise greater responsibility when handling sexual situations during primetime hours -- opting for less graphic visual content, and favoring storylines that don't celebrate promiscuity, glamorize criminality, or denigrate monogamy," he said.
"The American people need to hold the networks and their local broadcast affiliates accountable for pushing questionable content into their homes over the publicly owned broadcast airwaves."
August 6, 2008 http://www.ctv.ca
Hetero sex a big HIV risk
STRAIGHT couples are much more likely to transmit HIV during sex than most people realise, with new research showing the true risk may be hundreds of times higher than official guidelines suggest.
Doctors and patients are told that on average only one heterosexual transmission of the AIDS virus would be expected for every 1000 sexual contacts, assuming one partner was HIV-positive and the other negative.
But US researchers have told a world meeting of HIV experts in Mexico that the true figure could be as high as one transmission for every 10 instances of vaginal sex.
The risk could be as high as one transmission for every three instances of heterosexual anal sex, the researchers told the International AIDS Conference - a risk level more than 300 times greater than the 1:1000 figure would suggest.
The researchers, who analysed findings from 27 previous studies on HIV transmission, said the underestimate had arisen because most of the studies were based on heterosexual couples with particularly low-risk habits.
Risk factors that would be common among a more representative sample included the presence of genital ulcers or other sexually transmitted infections; having sex a short time after the HIV-positive partner had been infected; and the male partner being uncircumcised.
The findings were published online yesterday by The Lancet Infectious Diseases.
August 6, 2008 Adam Cresswell http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au
Texas Loses Attempt To Argue Anew For Sex Toy Ban
AUSTIN — A federal appeals court turned down Attorney General Greg Abbott's attempt to reinstate a ban on the sale and marketing of sex toys Friday, upholding its previous ruling that the prohibition violated Texans' right to privacy.
The 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in February had struck down the Texas law, which made it illegal to sell or promote obscene devices.
The attorney general sought a rehearing on the matter, decided by a panel of judges. The state argued that the full court should have a chance to rule, but the court turned down the request and said any appeal would have to be decided by the U.S. Supreme Court.
Abbott spokesman Tom Kelley said the state hasn't decided yet if it will appeal the ruling.
Companies that own Dreamer's and Le Rouge Boutique, which sell the devices in its Austin stores, and the retail distributor Adam & Eve sued in federal court in Austin in 2004 over the constitutionality of the law. They appealed after a federal judge dismissed the suit and said the Constitution did not protect their right to publicly promote such devices.
The appeals court struck down the ban in February, ruling that it violated the right to privacy guaranteed by the 14th Amendment.
August 4, 2008 http://www.keyetv.com
Screech To Share Sexy Secrets From “Saved By The Bell”
Dustin Diamond, the actor who played the nerdy Screech in the popular series “Saved By The Bell,” announced he was planning to write a book in which he will reveal all the secrets behind the set of the sitcom.
Diamond said he would also include in his book, titled “Behind The Bell,” “sexual escapades among cast members, drug use, and hardcore partying,” New York magazine informs.
The former geek impersonator warned he would also tell on what his costars, including Mario Lopez and Elizabeth Berkley, did when cameras weren’t recording.
The show featured Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Mario Lopez, Lark Voorhies, Tiffani Thiessen, Elizabeth Berkley and Diamond as students of fictional Bayside High School and ran from 1989-1993.
“Behind The Bell” will be written with help from ghostwriter Alan Goldscher and will be released by Gotham Books.
Diamond had been a subject of controversy in the past, as the star of a sex tape in which he engaged in several sexual acts with two women. In 2006, the actor also got in a scuffle with a woman who allegedly broke into his hotel room while he was on tour with an adults-only comedy show. In the same year, he tried to save his Milwaukee home from foreclosure by selling autographed T-shirts on the Internet.
July 25, 2008 Ona Zachary http://www.efluxmedia.com
China's Olympic-sized sex and gender problems
In a couple weeks, the Olympics begin in China. It's a big country. So big that it manufactures most of the world's sex toys, and was recently host to the world's largest sex toy expo, the Fifth China International Adult Toys and Reproductive Health Exhibition. In 2007, the expo boasted over 30,000 attendees who gawked, poked, squeezed and generally tingled (or cringed) at all the weird and wonderful and wobbly and mystifyingly gender-bending sex gizmos on display.
Next month, something similar is supposed to happen on a more athletic scale: The 2008 Summer Olympics will attract athletes, press and spectators from all over the world. And China's done some pretty weird things to get ready for the fete. Like Beijing shutting down all building sites and many factories to clear the smog after failing air quality tests. And arresting (or sorta-disappearing) the founder of China's pioneer human rights Web site 64Tianwang — the numbers refer to the date of the Tiananmen Square massacre. There's a lot more, like the pre-Olympic clampdown on sex, after-hours bars and adult lifestyle chat.
No sex please, we're Chinese. As if. But what's more to the point with China, sexuality, sexual human rights and the Olympics is Beijing's announcement that it will set up a "sex determination lab" for female Olympic athletes "suspected" to be males. You know, because we're sneaky like that. We could, like, totally kick your ass at the pole-vault competition with more experience than a girl should probably have with a pole in China, and no one likes that.
According to Xinhuanet News, "Suspected athletes will be evaluated from their external appearances by experts and undergo blood tests to examine their sex hormones, genes and chromosomes for sex determination, according to Prof. Tian Qinjie of Peking Union Medical College Hospital." In this context, women are being singled out as "suspects," "gender cheats," "getting caught," "being abnormal" and "failing" to be female, and judged by a parade of endocrinologists, gynecologists, a geneticist and a psychologist. Boys will apparently always be boys. Meaning, at the Olympics, men are never gender suspects. Contrast Beijing's female gender profiling to Athens, where at the 2004 Olympics, Durex donated 130,000 free condoms to athletes, and the Sydney 2000 Games, where each athlete got 51 condoms on arrival at the Olympic Village (yet happily, another 20,000 were cargo-dropped in when Olympians were "burning rubber" in earnest).
How are Chinese officials deciding whom to test? You only need to be "suspicious-looking" to be forced into testing. The Olympic Committee's woman-test began in the 1960s when Communist countries were untrustworthy "Reds," Russian and German female athletes made leatherfags lift weights a little more often, and the first method of "testing" was to "ask" suspected women to parade nude before a panel of doctors to verify their sex. Some didn't pass simply because they didn't "look right" down there.
San Francisco's Mikayla Connell is the former chairperson of the Board of Directors at Transgender Law Center and current board president of the San Francisco LGBT Pride Celebration Committee, and also an attorney at the Judicial Council of California. Transgender and intersex issues abound here, but turns out, the Olympics already have policies for such athletes. Connell tells me, "Though the subject of transsexual athletes might come to mind — that's not what this is really about. The Olympics has specific rules regarding transsexual athletes and how they can compete. With the rules about transsexuals in place, the people most directly affected (as I understand it) by 'gender verification' testing are people whose chromosomes, genitalia or genetics don't conform to whatever arbitrary standard the testing agency has created or adopted. People are drawing a line in the sand in a desert without borders — the line is arbitrary, and ultimately unsupportable scientifically. And unfortunately, the results are devastating to those found to be on the 'wrong' side of that arbitrary line. The Olympic Council of Asia should learn from the International Olympic Committee's 31 years of experience and drop this testing — it doesn't work and it's harmful to the athletes."
Connell also thinks — while the rest of us girls practically burst into our own Olympic torches of anger — that the Olympic Council hasn't come a very long way, baby. Not one to miss an exciting moment of misogyny, Connell adds, "You don't see men being tested for 'masculinity,' just women being tested for 'femininity.' There seems to be a perception in certain parts of the sports world that women who are really good at sports must not actually be women, but men in disguise."
But is this even legal? Connell tells me that it depends on whether you look like the current, local, cultural standard of female or not: "The Olympic Council of Asia, the governing body of sports in Asia, sets the rules, and despite other sports sanctioning bodies around the world dropping these kind of tests after decades of failures, they are persisting in the use of said tests. In short, the OCA is in charge, but they are at least a decade behind the times on this subject."
But OK, so then why should gender be tested for, like steroids? Connell tells us, "Gender should NOT be tested, and much of the international sports community already knows this. 'Gender verification' began in the late '60s, and was introduced into the Olympics in the 1968 games in Mexico. For the next 31 years, the International Olympic Committee (and various other sports sanctioning bodies) struggled with various methods to verify gender — they looked at genitalia, chromosomes and various other attributes, and in the end, they gave up. While the majority of people may conform to what is believed to be male (male genitalia, with XY chromosomes) or female (female genitalia with XX chromosomes) there is a sizable portion of the population that simply doesn't. There are women with XY chromosomes; there are people with genitalia not easily classified as male or female. The lines of gender get blurry around the edges — gender is not as binary (male or female) as people are brought up to think. And the international sports community learned this the hard way as it spent more than 30 years trying to nail down a sure-fire test for who is female and who is not. And in the end? They gave up. The International Olympic Committee dropped gender verification in 1999 because there simply is no reliable test for femininity, something that scientists and doctors had been telling the sports world for years. Socially, we can quickly (if inaccurately) divide people into two camps, male and female, but scientifically, human beings are not that simple."
Humans are not simple when it comes to sex and/or gender, but this is about sports. The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat, the male swimmers in those fantastically flimsy Speedos. The competitive environment creates enough hostility, despite the higher love of all for gamesmanship and excitement and beauty that athlete and sport can make us feel, all of us. But when a segment of the population is being singled out and rounded up for invisible crimes of genetics — not talking about steroids here — it sours the fairness of a spectacle that is supposed to be a gathering of nations on equal ground. Something our world needs very badly right now. So I had to ask Connell, does she think this creates a hostile, personally traumatic or dangerous environment for "suspected" athletes?
Connell retorted, "Of course! Especially for those female athletes who are declared not to be 'feminine' enough to compete. One article written on this subject in 1992 quoted John Fox, senior lecturer in obstetrics and gynecology at the Charing Cross and Westminster Medical School, as stating, 'Personal experience of several such athletes suggests that the psychological impact of failing the test, interpreted as implying they are male, is so damaging that they seek instant anonymity and disappear without trace.' How many fall into this category? Well, the 1992 article suggested as many as 1 in 400 female athletes fail to pass the tests, and other sources are similar, putting the 'fail' rate at 1 in 500 or 1 in 600 athletes. That's a lot of women being disqualified from competition because they are not 'feminine' enough by pseudo-scientific tests which 30-plus years of experience have shown don't work."
And how would we do things here in the city? Besides with unlimited free condoms, rainbow-flag Speedos, and weeklong Male Verification Beer Bust Nights at The Eagle and Female Verification Lap Dance Contests at Asia SF? While hitting speed-dial for Asia SF to book seats for two, Connell answered, "I believe we would follow the International Olympic Committees rules and there would be no gender-verification testing."
Yup. We've got your gender verification test right here. It's called Call Off Your Old Tired Olympic Sexist Bulls— and let the games begin.
July 31, 2008 Violet Blue http://www.sfgate.com
Straight Men Who Have Sex with Men
Once again, a female singer has a hit song called "I Kissed A Girl"; I saw Katy Perry perform it on network television the other night. As she danced around in her cute yellow dress, I thought: "Wow, singing about lesbian smooching was pretty racy when Jill Sobule did it—same title and subject, different and better song—in 1995 on MTV." Now it's ready for prime time? Well, it's been almost 15 years. Plus, the whole idea isn't that threatening anymore. If a straight woman confesses she's messed around with another woman—even had full-blown sex with her—most people are quick to shrug it off. She was drunk. She's experimenting. At most, maybe this means she's bi-curious. But it's no big deal. Women have a lot more leeway to explore their sexuality with other women without questioning their orientation or setting any alarms off. On the other hand, society doesn't make room for men to do the same. Can you imagine the flip side of this scenario? No, I don't mean Bon Jovi topping the charts with a new rock anthem called "I Made Out With a Guy." Let's say one of your male friends confesses: "I was at the club last night with Bob. The music was pounding, I had a few shots, and his hair just looked so good, so we made out, and I jerked him off in the bathroom." For most people, there's really only one response: "Dude, you're gay." Maybe, but maybe not. According to the Centers for Disease Control, more than three million men who self-identify as straight secretly have sex with other men. Although there's been some mainstream dialogue about African-American men who have sex with men "on the down-low," there hasn't been much talk about white guys who do it. And there are plenty of them out there. Take a brief scroll through one day's worth of "Men Seeking Men" posts on New York City's Craigslist, and you'll find dozens of listings like "Str8 Guy Needs Great Cocksucker" or "Handsome Masculine Married Irish Guy Seeks One or Two Hung Married Irish Buddies Who Want Head and Maybe More." From the super-brief to the incredibly detailed, some posts offer interesting explanations:
Though I have always been hetero, I also have had a fantasy to anonymously suck cock and swallow his cum.
I am a married white male forty-six, six-one, one-ninety—a goodlooking, successful, Ivy-educated guy who finds himself in town alone this week. Not interested in changing my life in any major way, but do feel the occasional need to deal with this side of my nature.
I am married . . . looking to provide no reciprocation needed or wanted oral service for VERY masculine, verbal straight/bi/straight acting men. My clothes do not even have to come off. This is about YOUR pleasure . . . not mine.
These examples articulate some of the reasons why heterosexual men get it on with other men: for anonymous, no-strings-attached sex; to explore homoerotic desire without a gay identity or relationship; or to fulfill a fantasy, including one of dominance and submission.
"When these straight men have sex with other men, it is not about an attraction to the other man—it is about an attraction to the sex act," says Joe Kort (joekort.com), a licensed therapist in Michigan. "When asked about what they enjoy, it is never the actual man, but instead his body parts, the sexual behavior they engage in." Many of Kort's clients (who are overwhelmingly white) are straight men who have sex with other men (SMSM). He's even created Straight Guise (straightguise.com), a website dedicated to the subject. He cites dozens of explanations for SMSM behavior: "Some have been sexually abused and are compulsively re-enacting childhood sexual trauma by male perpetrators; some have sex with men because it's easier and requires fewer social skills than those required to have sex with women; some are 'gay for pay'; some like the attention they receive from other men; some like anal sex, which they're otherwise too ashamed to talk about or engage in with their female partners." He acknowledges that some of these men may be bisexual or closeted gay men, but in his experience in treating clients over an extended period, many of them are not. He believes that when it comes to sex, identity and orientation, preferences, fantasies, and behavior do not always neatly line up in one category. More often, they are complex and even contradictory.
Mike, whom I found on a personals website, is 44, married, and works on Wall Street. He has been having sex with men for four years, and says he likes the closeness and the male bonding. Plus, "It's just less complicated than with women. We're both there for sex, and that's it." John, 35, also works in finance, identifies as straight, and is dating several women. But he mostly enjoys getting blowjobs from men: "There are less emotional complications for me. Many men will do things some women will not, and many men give better oral sex. I think men will exercise their hunger for sex and not deny that they are horny more so than women. They feel comfortable sexually bonding." Both men admit that their female partners don't know about their behavior; in fact, their families and friends don't know.
Unlike some psychology professionals who want to pathologize these men, treat them for sexual addiction, or "cure them" of homosexuality, Kort approaches his clients without an agenda. He also unpacks some of the cultural baggage that contributes to this phenomenon: "They are interested in the sexual contact with other men. They are working through issues of father hunger, lack of touch from other males, and the need for contact with other men on deeper levels that women enjoy with each other and men do not. Some of these men tell me they meet other men and really just want to be held and talk to the other men, but that the men they meet want it to be sexual, so they go through with it but really don't want to. Ironically, since men are not allowed to touch—except for a pat on the butt in sports—they use the sexual realm to find ways to touch each other and receive touch."
July 29, 2008 Tristan Taormino http://www.villagevoice.com/
LifeStyles Condoms Wants Miley Cyrus for Spokesgirl
LifeStyles Condoms wants Miley Cyrus to be its spokesgirl.
The company says it has offered the 15-year-old Disney star — who has said she won't have sex until she's married — $1 million to represent the brand.
"Pop culture proves that teens are more ready than ever to discuss the subject of sex," says the company's VP of marketing, Carol Carrozza. "We believe that Miley is both influential and relatable to this afflicted set — and is the obvious choice to get the message of safe sex out to teens across America."
But Cyrus' rep says they never got an offer.
"We never received an offer, nor would she consider the offer," her rep tells E! News.
Meanwhile, Cyrus says she's almost done with "Hannah Montana."
"We’re thinking this is our last season," the star tells E!'s Marc Malkin.
The single Cyrus also told Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS-FM radio show that she would ideally date a "16-year-old [Coldplay lead singer] Chris Martin."
July 29, 2008 http://www.foxnews.com
Sex Toys For the Nintendo Wii, Truth Or Hoax?
Come September 9th of this year we can possibly expect a very interesting toy to come out for the Nintendo Wii. But, the authenticity of this new gadget is questionable.
According to a brief article on the website known as “Gizmodo,” the Nintendo Wii could possibly expect an interesting new gadget come September 9 of this year. However, the authenticity of the story is up for question. Right now, many are wondering what I am talking about.
On the Gizmodo article, it explains that there will be a pair of Wiimote sex toys. In the article, there’s a picture that looks like a dildo. Yes, it looks like that there’s going to be a Nintendo Wii controller that looks like a dildo. But perhaps this is just a fluke to get people riled up.
It is very likely that Nintendo itself would not take a stand for something such as a Wiimote dildo. This is reminiscent of an article I had written several weeks ago in regards to porn peddling on the Apple iPhone. On official applications, Apple has vowed to ban viewing of porn.
Perhaps Nintendo may take legal action.
The so-called Wiimote sex toys come from a mysterious company known as “OIOO.”
There is nothing on the website itself but the pictures. However, it does ask how much you would pay for such gadgets along with an e-mail address. One thing is for sure, the company and website does not look to be Japanese.
If that was the case, there would be .jp at the end of the url. However, there is .de at the end of company’s website url. Perhaps this company is based in Germany.
But there are questions to be asked:
Is this for real?
Will Nintendo be seeking legal action?
If it is for real, how much would you be willing to pay?
But, there is not much information present. In the meantime the possibility of such “gadgets” for the Nintendo Wii can neither be confirmed nor denied. I do have to agree, this isn’t your children’s Wii toy.
It does make me think of the College Humor video on rejected Wii concepts. Regardless, the authenticity is up for debate.
July 24, 2008 http://www.digitaljournal.com/
Animals Get Freaky at Museum of Sex
When it comes to sexual promiscuity, Madonna's got nothing on the average free-loving, masturbation-happy bottlenose dolphin.
So I learned this morning at The Sex Lives of Animals, opening today at the Museum of Sex in New York City.
The exhibit contains everything you ever wanted to know about animal sex but were afraid to ask. Heck, it's probably more than you ever wanted to know, much less thought of asking.
Upon entering, wall text informs attendees that animals "participate in an astounding array of sexual behaviors, where all conceivable sex acts and sexual partnerships exist." Indeed they do -- and things get crazy well before the sex.
PandasThere's the sheer startling variety of animal sexual physiology: in about half the animal kingdom, individuals possess both male and female genitalia. Many species have three genders, if not more. Male Bornean fruit bats have milk-producing mammary glands; female hyenas have a pseudo-penis. Male barnacles are relatively better endowed than any other animal, and some tropical fish switch sex on demand.
Then we start getting into behaviors, which truly are astounding. Hermaphroditic banana slugs sometimes chew off their own penises. The aforementioned dolphins live in long-term, multiple-partner open relationships. Red deer spontaneously ejaculate by rubbing their antlers against the ground. Bedbug sex is every bit as horrid as you'd imagine. Baboons, bonobos and other primates engage in sex so frequently and variously that one wonders where wildlife documentarians get their G-rated footage.
Threedeer (And the once-cute prairie vole, insufferable ever since conservatives used them as lessons in purity? They're faithful and monogamous only when their booty calls go unanswered.)
It's quite a show, and its centerpieces -- life-size sculptures of copulating animals, including a deer threesome, by Norweigan artist Rune Olsen -- are stunning. But for reasons I'm still trying to explain to myself, I came away slightly unsettled.
"By exploring the most intimate part of life," reads another gallery text, "we can appreciate the significance of research on animal sexuality and, perhaps, extrapolate these concepts to larger issues regarding sexuality in general." A noble goal, no doubt, especially when confronted with the moral opprobrium of bedroom police. Calling homosexuality or most any other sexual behavior "unnatural" is simply inaccurate.
BonobosBut sex -- sexuality -- isn't always a matter of mere physicality, or even pleasure. It's psychological; it's emotional; it's more than bodies. And except for the human-like eyes of Olsen's sculptures, that's generally the level at which Sex Lives approaches its subjects. It's hard to interpet the animals' behavior as anything else than getting their rocks off; and when the sex takes place in a social context, as with primates, it still feels utilitarian rather than personal.
In short, Sex Lives goes a long way to dispelling our sanitized illusions of animal sexuality, but isn't without its own illusions. And in some ways, these make it harder for us to interpret animal sexuality for ourselves, as with the shellbacked mates of Italo Calvino's "The Loves of the Tortoises," who prompt Calvino to contemplate the nature of eros and union.
Also absent from Sex Lives is love. That condition is not, it seems, uniquely human, and deserves as much consideration as any other in a discussion of sexuality. And as the exhibit correctly places humans on the animal spectrum, one wishes they'd saved a little space for the strangest and rarest of all sexual creatures: happy, faithful lovers.
July 24, 2008 Brandon Keim http://blog.wired.com/
Ladies: 5 ways to get your sex life going
Sexually dysfunctional women in the United States are, well, mostly out of luck.
Women's sexual dysfunction is an area of medicine that's highly neglected, experts say.
Women's sexual dysfunction is an area of medicine that's highly neglected, experts say.
Unlike men, there are no approved drugs to take. If you go strictly by the rules, the best medical science has to offer is counseling, or a device that applies suction to your clitoris, or physical therapy for your vagina. While not to diminish these choices, where's that convenient, little blue pill for women?
That's what Joanne wanted to know. This isn't her real name, but she's a 26-year-old nurse at the Cleveland Clinic who felt no sex drive -- nothing, nada, zilch -- for eight years. She wasn't happy, and neither was her boyfriend.
When Joanne asked her gynecologist for help, she told her to talk to her psychiatrist. Her psychiatrist said her antidepressants were to blame -- they're known to decrease libido in about a third to a half of women, experts say.
"My psychiatrist just kind of shrugged her shoulders," Joann says. "It was just like, well, that's a side effect of the drug. That's just the way it is."
Finally, fate intervened on behalf of Joann's sex life. Last year, the anti-depressants she was taking stopped working, and her psychiatrist had to switch her to a new one. "All of a sudden, my sex drive went through the roof. It was awesome. It was wonderful," she says.
But it wasn't perfect, or even close to it. Probably because of her long-dormant sex drive, Joanne could get sexually excited, but couldn't reach orgasm. Again, after being shuffled around to various doctors, Joanne ended up with a urogynecologist at the Cleveland Clinic.
That doctor prescribed the anti-impotence drug, Cialis. At first Joanne thought it strange to take a drug meant for a man. But she tried it, and she says it's helped somewhat. "I'm still not able to achieve orgasm, but I'm getting closer each time," Joanne says. "We're working with changing the dosage."
Don't Miss
Getting help for women's sexual problems is often a long and complicated road. "This is an area that's highly neglected," says Dr. Sharon Parish, an internist at the Albert Einstein School of Medicine who treats sexually dysfunctional women. "Many primary care doctors have no idea what to do."
So if you want help for your sexual problems, you may have to make suggestions to your doctor. "I feel like if I hadn't aggressively pursued it, I'd still be stuck in the same spot," Joanne says.
Here are some treatments for sexual dysfunction you can discuss with your doctor.
1. Impotence drugs such as Viagra, Levitra and Cialis
Some studies, like one out this week in the Journal of the American Medical Association, show they work for some women with sexual problems; others have shown they don't work.
A woman's biggest hurdle could be finding a doctor who'll prescribe them, since they're approved by the FDA only for men.
The solution: Be frank with your doctor. Ask if he or she is willing to consider prescribing these drugs "off label." Be clear that you recognize these medicines have not been approved for women, and that you want to know about the risks and benefits.
2. Testosterone
Experts we talked to said taking testosterone has helped many of their female patients. "It not only helps with sex drive, it will also help with arousal," says Dr. Cynthia Brewer, a clinical associate at the Center for Specialized Women's Health at the Cleveland Clinic.
Testosterone, produced naturally by both men and women, boosts libido. Synthetic testosterone, however, has been approved only for use with men. In 2004, the FDA declined to approve a testosterone patch for women, saying it hadn't been thoroughly tested.
As with Viagra and its cousins, if you're interested in possibly trying testosterone, tell your doctor you know it's off label, and you'd like to discuss the benefits and risks for women -- knowing that not all the risks are fully understood.
There's one big hitch: Testosterone is available only in men's doses, which are way too high for women. You'll need a doctor who's familiar with how to fit the dose to a woman. There's no one central place to find doctors who specialize in female sexual dysfunction, but you can start at the American Urological Association, or at the International Pelvic Pain Society.
3. Arginine
Some doctors suggest using a cream with arginine, an amino acid that's supposed to increase blood flow.
"It's supposed to act like Viagra," says Brewer. "I saw one patient try it, and it had benefits. For another it didn't. Women can try it and decide for themselves."
4. Anti-stress herbs
You don't have to be Dr. Ruth to know that when you're under stress, you're not in the mood for love. "Stress levels will affect a woman's libido. We're more sensitive to stress than our male counterparts," says Dr. Esther Konigsberg, medical director of the Family Practice Center of Integrative Health and Healing in Burlington, Ontario.
Konigsberg often suggests these anti-stress herbs to her patients with sexual problems: ashwagandha, astragalus, panax ginseng. Licorice can also be used for stress, but she says your physician must monitor your potassium levels.
5. Experimental medicines
"There are a few investigational drugs in the pipeline for both pre- and post-menopausal women," says Sheryl Kingsberg, a clinical psychologist and chief of the division of behavioral medicine at Case Western Reserve Medical School.
Health Library
While you can't get these on the open market, women can try to join a clinical trial. Two experimental drugs, called flibanserin and bremelanotide, work on the brain to increase arousal. A third, Libigel, is a gel that boosts testosterone.
The National Institutes of Health has a list of clinical trials for female sexual dysfunction.
And the most important rule: Don't wait for your doctor to ask you about sexual problems. "Women should feel empowered to bring up the topic first, because lots of physicians aren't comfortable bringing it up themselves," Kingsberg says.
Also, be aware that drugs won't help every woman with a sex problem. Kingsberg says drugs have helped about half of her post-menopausal patients, and about 20 percent of her pre-menopausal patients. The rest, she said, benefited from counseling.
July 24, 2008 Elizabeth Cohen http://www.cnn.com/
Illicit Orgasms: Alabama makes it Illegal to Sell Vibrators
Just when one might have thought George Orwell’s 1984 was simply fiction-not reality, when he wrote about Big Brother watching our every move and dictating our actions, they were grossly mistaken. The Alabama legislature has decided that they want to lie right next to their citizen’s clitorises and make it illegal to sell vibrators.
Talk about the state dipping into one’s private affairs. First women had to fight for the right to vote, now they have to fight for the right to buy a tool of sexual stimulation? What harm does a vibrator do?
It is a shame that the government is far too concerned with the sex lives of adults than societal ills such as the high rates of incarceration amongst African American males, and I’d be remiss if I did not briefly note the repeated incidences of police brutality such are the cases of Sean Bell in New York, New York and the three young men that were beaten by police officers in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Furthermore, Alabama has its own heap of problems to deal with as Jefferson County has amassed more than $3 billion in sewer bond debt and may have to declare bankruptcy. It discombobulates me that the state is far too concerned with what women and couples are utilizing for sexual stimulation than societal ills such as the increasing gap between the higher and lower echelons of society, the outrageous gas prices worldwide, and the plight of the impoverished.
Needless to say, there could be far more issues that the state of Alabama could be concerned with. Instead, lawmakers choose to focus on trite things such as the bedroom activities of adults.
In Alabama, it is perfectly legal to purchase a gun but not a vibrator. Hmm…how’s that for revolution?
If that is not one of the most absurd things you’ve ever heard, then I don’t know what is. But then again, laws are made to protect us and we should all be law abiding citizens without phallic objects near our genitals.
July 23, 2008 Shermika Dunner http://www.agoracosmopolitan.com
Coming Soon: Your Own Personal Sex Machines
UNIVERSAL CITY, California -- It's the ultimate revenge of the nerds as
product developers use their big brains to create sex machines that
kick pleasure into overdrive. In fact, the very nature of the sex "toy"
is changing as a new generation of sex-positive engineers infiltrates
the industry.
From the smooth, silent glide of the Monkey Rocker Tango to Le
Chair's ability to put two people into a dozen compromising positions,
the new products and prototypes unveiled at this week's Adult Novelty
Expo straddle the line between
toy (a passive, frivolous object) and
machine (a substantial apparatus that inspires commitment and even emotional attachment).
Here are some of the most interesting.
Power Bullet
The gigantic Power Bullet gives you the stealth option, because it
doubles as a muscle massager and hides its complex machinery inside a
velvety, matte-black cylinder. It wouldn't be out of place in a Pilates
studio or a physical therapist's office for people to roll up and down
their quadriceps, but straddling it on a pillow is going to be a lot
more effective at relaxing muscles and relieving stress. Its motors
provide a deep throbbing touch and its single button offers a
simplicity much appreciated by tired tech workers with wrist pain. I'm
just sayin'.
- - -
Imatah
As you can see in this photo, Imatah spokesmodel Danka takes the
machine's debut very seriously. That's a custom-made dildo mounted on a
plate connected to a mechanism that can pump straight in and out or
move in an oval pattern. The Imatah weighs about 5 pounds and comes
with a fabric sleeve that hides its legs and prevents the machine from
falling off the bed when you use it.
"The machine becomes part of you!" gushes inventor James Hatami, who is working with Fleshlight(NSFW)
to add functionality for male users. The Imatah requires only a 12-volt
power supply "so you don't electrocute yourself," Hatami says.
- - -
Monkey Rocker
The original Monkey Rocker(NSFW)
is an amazing cybersex accessory, a silent machine that responds to
your body motions without any complicated control panels or need for
batteries. It's handmade from powder-coated, 100 percent recovered and
recycled wood fiber -- PermaCore MDF, if you want to get technical --
and supports up to 400 pounds.
- - -
Monkey Rocker Tango
The new Monkey Rocker Tango brings the cybersex experience offline
-- when you meet your online lover in person, you can both ride it at
the same time (as long as your combined weight is less than 450
pounds). The Tango also works for folks who skip the whole cybersex
thing and just have a regular ol' fashioned, in-person relationship.
(Weird!)
- - -
Le Chair
In a surprise departure from its inexpensive signature collections
from porn stars and sex therapists, an upcoming robotic sex chair from California Exotic Novelties(NSFW) is based on love furniture already available in Japan.
This prototype, called Le Chair, comes with motors in the seat and back
supports that can pound, vibrate or stroke. One seat adjusts up and
down to place lovers in optimal positions for various intimate
activities, and both sides provide arm and leg support as well. A
representative confided that the company plans to work with programs to
help get Le Chairs to war veterans wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan at
low or no cost.
At right, we have Le Chair with people in it, to give you an idea of
its scale. For this picture, we have raised one seat and reclined its
back support. If the woman were to lie back, her pelvis would be
positioned conveniently for her partner's mouth. The target audience
for Le Chair is "adventurous people" and "people with physical
limitations," says California Exotic Novelties, although of course it's
fun for everyone.
- - -
Menage-A-Tool
I'm convinced that the man who goes by "Preston Penobscott" developed the Menage-A-Tool(NSFW)
simply as an excuse to spend more time in his machine shop, machining
things. The tool is an adjustable, lightweight rod with two attachments
for various dildos, so you can penetrate two people at a time and still
have one hand free for someone else.
"The next one's gonna be hydraulic," he enthuses, already sketching
out how he wants to make the new version even more adjustable so the
dildos can go closer together for double penetration or further apart
if whatever you're doing requires more space between your partners.
See you in a fortnight,
Regina Lynn
July 18, 2008
http://www.wired.com
Three’s a crowd? Pregnant sex stirs thrills, fears
Just a month before her twins were born, Angelina Jolie boasted to Us Magazine that pregnancy is “great for the sex life. It just makes you a lot more creative. So you have fun, and as a woman you’re just so round and full.” Her statement prompted one pregnant friend of this column to grumble about how life is wickedly unfair if Angelina Jolie gets to be Angelina Jolie and also gets to enjoy great sex during pregnancy while many other women are having trouble keeping down lunch.
Well, some people really do have great sex during pregnancy. Some people also have lousy sex, or no sex, and are miserable about it. But many of those miserable people don’t have to be miserable, say experts, and sex, or at least intimacy, can be helpful to parents and baby alike.
As one Polish study put it, “research makes it evident that experiencing sexual satisfaction by pregnant women improves their self-esteem, facilitates [the] mutual relationship between partners and tightens the marital bond.”
But sometimes, says Armin A. Brott, author of “The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-to-Be,” men and women aren’t sure what to expect when she becomes pregnant, nor how their mate might be feeling about everything from body image to desire.
“There is lot of second guessing that goes on about sex during pregnancy,” says Brott, who has talked to “thousands” of men on the topic of pregnancy. “As soon as a woman begins to notice her body change, lots of guys say ‘She is self-conscious about her body. She is not feeling good. I will leave her alone.’ But at the same time many women find their growing bodies to be somewhat erotic and may be more into having sex than before. But she says to herself ‘He does not find my changing body much of turn on any more.’ So they both back off a little bit even though they both may be turned-on by her body.”
Ups and downs in the bedroom
Study after study shows that most women go through a somewhat predictable trajectory of desire during pregnancy. Libido drops during the first trimester, often rises during the second, and then falls off precipitously in the third. The reasons are pretty obvious.
“You can imagine making love and suddenly having to get up to vomit,” Brott says, not uncommon during the first trimester. But things usually settle down during the middle three months before some significant discomfort can take over — often requiring new and sometimes challenging positions — during the last three.
UCLA reproduction researcher Dr. Kari Sproul surveyed 30 women (divided into two groups of infertility patients and non-infertility patients) for a 2004 study and found that the non-infertility patients had intercourse 6.6 times per month before the pregnancy, 3.8 times per month in the first trimester, 4.3 in the second, and 3.1 in the third. The infertility patients, perhaps reflecting heightened concern after their struggle to become pregnant, had intercourse less than once per month during the first trimester, 1.3 in the second and .07 in the third.
Subsequently she surveyed the women in both groups using a measurement called the Female Sexual Function Index and found that while desire remained virtually unchanged from the first trimester compared to the third, some physical indicators, especially lubrication, dropped significantly. On a scale ranging from 2 to 36, overall sexual satisfaction by the third trimester was 18.92, which isn’t too bad, Sproul says, all things considered.
“We inferred that even though during pregnancy there is a decline in the frequency, the actual function or quality of intercourse does not change,” Sproul explains.
Hitting the baby on the head
Though women are often depicted as the crazy ones during pregnancy (think Lucille Ball ordering Ricky out to get sardines and ice cream) men are sometimes the irrational ones. Men can feel as if they are being watched by their future offspring, or that they will hurt the baby usually by hitting it with their penis.
Such worries are unfounded. It would be virtually impossible for any man to bonk Junior on the head or poke his eye out with that thing, for example, because the penis would have to be very, very long and even then it’s unlikely to bother the baby. (Sorry, men.)
But, says Sproul, research has proven that “the chances of doing something to the baby is small,” and that unless the pregnancy is fraught with complications like bleeding or contractions, there is no reason not to have sex and enjoy orgasms throughout the pregnancy if both partners feel like it.
Almost as important as what’s going on in her body is what is going on inside his brain.
July 17, 2008 Brian Alexander http://www.msnbc.msn.com
'Sex talk' advice packs for parents
Parents should be sent advice packs to help them talk to their children about sex, a Government advisory group said.
Encouraging families to discuss sex and relationships will help drive down the teenage pregnancy rate, it said.
The Teenage Pregnancy Independent Advisory Group (TPIAG) also renewed its call for sex education - as part of Personal, Social and Health Education (PSHE) - to be made a mandatory part of the National Curriculum.
In its annual report, the TPIAG recommended "the removal of the restriction on promoting condom use before the 9pm watershed".
It also wants to see a website developed with information for parents, teachers and pupils.
The report said: "TPIAG would like to see restrictive and outdated broadcasting standards reviewed and overhauled to ensure positive sexual health messages, including the advertising of condoms, are communicated effectively before the 9pm broadcast watershed."
"TPIAG believes the Government should develop a safe web portal, which can be easily found and gives immediate access to safe and approved websites on SRE and teenage pregnancy-related issues."
The group said clinics providing abortions should also receive funding to supply contraception with the aim of cutting the number of repeat terminations.
Young people need easier access to contraception and sexual health services both in the community and in schools and colleges, the group said in its annual report.
TPIAG chair Gill Frances said: "There need to be more conversations about sex and relationships, both at home and at school. Parents are a child's first educators and they need to know how to talk about the issues if we are serious about reducing teenage pregnancy in this country."
July 16, 2008 http://ukpress.google.com
American sex culture still taboo to most
We've come a long way, baby. At least that's what we'd like to think.
In 1986, the most controversial film of the year was David Lynch's Blue Velvet, a film about a sleepy, picket-fenced small town and its salacious, crude undercurrent -- and probably for good reason: It's probably the only Academy Award-nominated film that prominently features both erotic asphyxiation and lobotomy.
The ensuing uproar seems understandable, at least until you realize the most controversial film in 2005 was probably the only Academy Award-nominated film that prominently featured two cowboys who scandalously fell in love.
You'd think we'd have learned something from Lynch, but judging from the evidence presented in a Florida obscenity trial this month, it's small town America that is still living in a bubble.
The defense, arguing in favor of a porn site operator, is using Google Trends to show that Pensacola residents generally prefer an "orgy" over an "apple pie," according to Google search records.
Maybe we'll be changing that phrase to "as American as two girls, one cup" in the near future.
It's bizarre that this is still an argument. Doesn't it seem obvious? I learned in my high school biology class that the mission of every species, including homo sapiens, is to reproduce and help the species survive. So yes, while Leona Lewis' "Bleeding Love" is a jam and an eighth, people in the club would much rather hear Lil' Wayne li-li-li-li-lick it (or have it licked) like a "lollipop."
When it comes to the bottom line of survival, sex drives culture. Hell, "rock and roll" came from slang for having sex, and now it's become the signature of modern American music.
But all signs point to the fact that most Americans want sex to remain a subculture. Think about it: Our main mission as living beings is to have sex, but we don't want anyone to know we're doing it. Imagine if Wal-Mart didn't advertise its everyday low prices, instead trying to convince consumers that it was the most expensive retailer in the country.
An article in Wednesday's Collegian made it clear that those dudes with the "I'd rather be fishing" bumper stickers are full of crap, unless "fishing" is some creepy slang for getting some. According to a recent study, 53.3 percent of participants enrolled in college had sex during the fall following high school graduation, compared to 70.2 percent of participants not enrolled in college.
I guess that's the answer to the question "What are you doing with your life?"
We're still arguing about 15-year-old Miley Cyrus having an unclothed back in Vanity Fair, because, of course, everyone knows "spine" comes right after "breasts" and "ass" on the list of men's favorite body parts.
Yet last week, Flavor Flav told Complex Magazine that he lost his virginity on a box in the bushes at age 6. Everybody, say it with me: YEAAH BOYYY!
We've been through all this before. Elvis' hips, Madonna's S&M, Janet's nipple. The next day, everyone was still standing. And the next day, everyone was still trying to get laid.
Kevin Doran is a former Daily Collegian editor and reporter and is the Monday columnist. His e-mail is kevin.a.doran@gmail.com.
July 14, 2008 Kevin Doran http://www.collegian.psu.edu
Republican politician named in gay sex scandal
Alabama Attorney General Troy King, a conservative Republican Christian who has called homosexuality the 'downfall of society,' has been caught with his pants down—literally—in a gay sex scandal.
King was reportedly nabbed having sex with a male assistant by his wife, Paige King, in the couple’s own bed.
After being caught having sex with his male aide by his wife, Attorney General King was reportedly banished from his home in Montgomery by his infuriated spouse, according to PerezHilton.com.
Although reports about the scandal are sketchy and the events have yet to be confirmed by official sources, some media outlets are reporting that King is preparing to resign over the affair.
King, considered a potential front runner for Alabama Governor in 2010, has been vocal in his condemnation of homosexuality and abortion.
He has worked to outlaw sex toys and is a staunch supporter of the death penalty.
King previously served as Assistant Attorney General and was appointed to Attorney General by Alabama Governor Bob Riley in 2004.
As a law student at the University of Alabama, King wrote frequent editorials for The Crimson White in condemnation of gays, affirmative action and abortion.
In his editorials for the student newspaper, King called homosexuality the ‘downfall of society’ and said AIDS could be cleansed from America if "this nation’s current purveyors of perversion would refrain from committing sodomy."
King also slammed the idea that gays and lesbians could provide loving, normal families for children, saying:
"I often hear the argument that homosexuals who live together create a loving, caring family environment, perhaps an environment which is even superior to that which can be provided by a heterosexual couple. In this day of rampant decadence, many homosexuals would misled society into believe that three men, an armadillo and a house plant create a functional family."
A spokesperson for Governor Bob Riley has denied that King is preparing to resign from his post as Attorney General over the scandal, according to The Locus Fork Journal.
Spokesperson Tara Hutchison stated the Governor’s office has heard nothing about a resignation and knows nothing about the rumors King was kicked out of his home over a gay affair.
The Attorney General's office has reportedly denied the rumours of King's affair, according to various media outlets.
King is a long-time supporter of presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain and his name has been tossed about as a possible candidate for Alabama governor in 2010.
Sex is on the agenda this month and it's all about accessory-assisted sexuality. Next weekend, The 5th China International Adult Toys and Reproductive Health Exhibition (a.k.a. China Adult-Care Expo—we love the name) takes place. As an exclusive and trade-only show, China Adult-Care Expo has become one of the more renowned trading fairs in the industry. Items on display will include: vibrators, dildos, love dolls, anal stimulators, bondage gear, lube, erotic furniture, piercing, condoms, toys for girls/boys, lingerie, S&M gear, sex-related medicines, and we-have-no-idea -what-that-does-but -it-looks-scary products.
Last year set the record for the biggest crowds when 30 000 people attended the exhibition. This weekend, 85 exhibitors from Sweden, China, America, Japan, Korea and Hong Kong will show their stuff to visitors from more than 30 countries.
"China Adult-Care Expo has become a genuine pageant in adult toys industry providing visitors with a fantastic opportunity to find out about trends and new technologies.The exhibition is dedicated to bringing together everyone that has a professional interest in adult care products."
And if you can't make it to the Adult-Care Expo this weekend and you're still craving a piece of vibrating rubber, there is always the massive sex market on Suzhou Creek which so few seem to know about--so here you go and you can thank/punish us for it later.
As Smart Shanghai's Matsume describes the place: it's: "a sex market about four floors, full of shops with all kinds of goodies. They have everything from dildos, lubes, vibrators, S&M outfits, lingerie and herbal viagra as well."
The market has hundreds of little shops and you can pick up a variety of odd cheap contraptions. But if you would prefer to spend a bit more and get some really decent artistry, Swedish brand, Bloomnine, who recently set up shop in Shanghai, will sort you out.
The 5th China International Adult Toys Exhibition
Dates: July 19 – 21
Hours: 9 am – 5 pm
Venue: Shanghai International Exhibition Center (INTEX Shanghai)
No. 77 Xingyi Road, Changning District, Shanghai, China
Phone: 86-21-22817535
Suzhou Creek Sex Market:
Kai xuan men Dasha , 428 Tianmu Zhong Road (Take Line 1 metro to Xinzha Lu. Cross the bridge over the river and its two blocks straight ahead on the right side), taxi print out here.
July 11, 2008 http://shanghaiist.com
Seniors Having More Sex Than Ever
When it comes to sex, grandma and grandpa are having more of it these days, new Swedish research suggests.
According to the study, the last quarter century has seen a dramatic rise in the frequency of sex among the 70-year-old set, whether married or unmarried. And as an added bonus, seniors today (particularly women) say they're much more satisfied with their liaisons than the previous generation -- facing less sexual dysfunction and feeling more positive about the experience.
"Our study shows that a large majority of elderly consider sexual activity and sexual feelings a natural part of late life," said study author Nils Beckman, a doctoral candidate with the neuropsychiatric epidemiology unit at the Institute of Neuroscience and Physiology at Gothenburg University. "It is thus important that health professionals and others take sexuality into consideration, irrespective of age."
The findings are reported online in theBritish Medical Journal.
Beckman and his team reviewed surveys concerning sexual behavior and attitudes that had been completed by more than 1,500 healthy 70-year-old Gothenburg residents over a 30-year period.
The polls had been conducted in 1971-1972, 1976-1977, 1992-1993, and 2000-2001.
Between the first survey and the last, the frequency of sexual intercourse was found to have increased among all groups. Among married men, 68 percent said they were engaging in the practice in the latest poll, compared with 52 percent in 1971, while among married women the number had risen from 38 percent to 56 percent.
Among unmarried men, the jump went from 30 percent to 54 percent in the same 30-year span, while among unmarried women the observed bump was from just under 1 percent to 12 percent.
Women seemed to make the most headway in terms of increasing their sexual satisfaction. While men expressed more positive attitudes about sex in 1971, by 2001 the gender difference had evaporated.
As well, more 21st-century women said they were highly satisfied with their sex; fewer said they had low satisfaction; more said they experienced an orgasm during sex; and fewer said they had never had an orgasm.
Regarding the degree to which the respondents said they felt "very happy" about their relationship, the three-decade trend also moved in a similarly positive direction for both genders: rising from 40 percent to 57 percent among men, and from 35 percent to 52 percent among women.
Beckman and his colleagues speculated that, in part, the findings might simply reflect the degree to which Western societies have become more comfortable in dealing with sexual matters frankly and openly -- perhaps leading to a greater willingness to honestly report sexual encounters.
"(And) maybe it has become more permissible to leave an unhappy marriage today," suggested Beckman. "And even for widows [and] widowers to establish new relations."
Whatever the explanation, S. Jay Olshansky, a professor of public health and senior research scientist at the Center on Aging at the University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC), said the findings closely mirror the results of similar research conducted at UIC and elsewhere.
"Probably the addressing of physiological problems with the development of medications like Viagra explain some -- but not all -- of the upward sexual activity trend," he said. "But the most important point being made here is that when it comes to sex, clearly it doesn't matter what age you are. At least most men and many women still have a desire to have it as they age."
More information
For more on seniors and sex, visit the U.S. National Institute on Aging.
SOURCES: Nils Beckman, R.N., doctoral candidate, neuropsychiatric epidemiology unit, Institute of Neuroscience and Physiology, Gothenburg University, Sweden; S. Jay Olshansky, Ph.D., professor, public health, and senior research scientist, Center on Aging, University of Illinois at Chicago; July 2008,British Medical Journal
July 9, 2008 http://www.washingtonpost.com
Sex Toy Technology Finally Hits Beauty Market
First sex toy worker bees busily manufactured vibrators in "girl-friendly" shapes and colors. The Rabbit! It's Pink -- for girls! And now beauty chemists and marketers are releasing mascaras that vibrate, as everyone knows you are supposed to apply mascara to lashes by moving in side-to-side motion, gently working your way up, from base to tip.
Estée Lauder and Lancôme have announced plans to launch mascaras that vibrate, offering a gentle buzz to any female's otherwise static beauty regime.
Lauder is coming out with TurboLash All Effects Motion Mascara, a battery-operated, vibrating mascara which delivers 125 micropulses per second, while Lancôme’s Oscillation delivers 7,000 micro-oscillations a minute. Both tubes will require batteries to operate, which could bring in a host of problems, a la the Weeds episode when Nancy Botwin (MLP) was unable to find batteries to work her vibrator, and went days with sexual angst and frustration. However, this time, women will angrily plow into work and on the subway with imperfect lashes, which could absolutely ruin her day.
Both mascaras will appear in stores this fall, Lauder's available exclusively at Saks Fifth Avenue and yours for $30 (!), and already beauty-crazed women everywhere are brazenly singing, "Hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it."
July 3, 2008 http://www.collegeotr.com
New book reveals Hugh Hefner's sex romp choke shock
PLAYBOY boss Hugh Hefner nearly choked on a sex toy during a romp, a new book will reveal.
The book Mr Playboy details the publishing mogul's history of sexual escapades.
The sex toy scare happened when the 82-year-old was dating Playmate Sondra Theodore in 1977.
A source said: "Hef began choking and was about to pass out. Sondra pumped his chest until the
toy was dislodged."
July 8, 2008
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk
More sex means less chance of ED for older men
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - There's new advice for older men who want to preserve their sexual function: have sex, and have it often, researchers say.
In a study that followed nearly 1,000 older Finnish men for five years, researchers found that those who were regularly having sex at the start of the study were at lower risk of developing erectile dysfunction (ED) by the study's end.
In fact, the more often the men had sex, the lower their ED risk.
The implication, say the researchers, is that men should be encouraged to stay sexually active into their golden years.
Dr. Juha Koskimaki and colleagues at the University of Tampere in Finland report the findings in the American Journal of Medicine. The study included 989 men who were between the ages of 55 and 75 at the outset.
Overall, those who said they had sex less than once per week were twice as likely to develop ED over the next five years as men who had sex at least once a week. Furthermore, compared with men who had sex three or more times per week, their ED risk was increased nearly four-fold.
A number of factors contribute to ED development, many of which could also affect a man's sexually activity -- such as age, diabetes and heart disease. However, after taking account of those factors, sexual activity itself remained linked to ED risk, Koskimaki's team found.
It may be a matter of "use it or lose it," according to the researchers. Just as exercise boosts physical fitness, they note, regular sexual activity may help a man preserve his erectile function.
ED occurs when there are problems with blood flow to the penis. Regular sexual activity, Koskimaki's team writes, may help maintain healthy blood vessel function in the erectile tissue.
SOURCE: American Journal of Medicine, July 2008.
July 7, 2008 http://uk.reuters.com
Is Sex With a Robot Hooker Cheating?
So asks the headline at website Asylum. So far the poll shows 77% of respondents consider a little robot-love to be guilt free, something I'd agree with – after all, an all-singing, all-dancing (and all-sucking) robot doll is just a better featured vibrator, right?
The Lady, whom I always consult in matters sexual and sartorial, agrees. "Do you think using a vibrator is having sex?" she asked me, "I do. It's having sex, but it's not getting laid."
But what about the partner left at home? Because these dolls are so human, waving goodbye to your man as he heads off to the cyber-brothel might not be so easy. The erotic part of sex, after all, occurs in the mind, and the only reason to use a full sized fake woman is to pretend you are with a real woman.
In the mind of the John, is there a difference between the two? Is it the high-tech equivalent of getting up on the job, closing your eyes and pretending you are actually having sex with a celebrity (or as I have done in the past, drawing the face of Queen Elizabeth on a paper bag)? And if it is done illicitly, without the knowledge of your other half, is that deception is worse than the sex itself?
We suppose that there are advantages. No viruses (unless the girl runs Windows), and no payoff money if you happen to be a high profile, blackmail-able celebrity (a Gadget Lab blogger, for instance). For me, it comes down to price. If it's cheaper than dinner and a movie, I'm in.
June 30, 2008 Charlie Sorrell http://blog.wired.com
Boy Butter Makes Lubricant History
NEW YORK - BBL, LLC, the manufacturer of Boy Butter and Lucky Lubricants is launching the first ever gay personal lubricant television advertisement on Monday, June 30. The 30-second spot is set to air on the Bravo network and is said to reach approximately 330,000 households in the Los Angeles area.
BBL, LLC, president and founder, Eyal Feldman, told AVN Novelty Business the commercial is actually two 15-second spots back to back. The first spot is for Boy Butter Personal Lubricants, the best-selling cream lubricant popular in the gay market, and the second is for the female-targeted Lucky Personal Lubricant, a doctor recommended line.
"Bravo is the perfect channel for these commercials and the best platform for a little bit of gay TV history," Feldman said. "With shows like Kathy Griffin's My Life on the D-List and Project Runway, gay and women-friendly programming like these are absolutely perfect for spreading the word to my target demographic groups."
Feldman has also made the commercials available for viewing on YouTube.
June 27, 2008 Boots Bryant http://www.avn.com
Judge to rule on shop that sold sex toys
PLAINFIELD A Hendricks Superior Court judge is expected to rule today on an order sought by Plainfield to close a shop selling sex toys and offering live lingerie modeling.
In a court hearing Monday in Danville, attorneys for the Plainfield Plan Commission asked Judge Mark A. Smith for a preliminary injunction to close Hot Temptations, 2316A E. Main St.
Advertisement
The town claims that shop owner Christopher Justin Eads, West Lafayette, ignored a stop-work order issued June 3 by Plainfield Plan Director Joe James.
Adult entertainment businesses in Plainfield are required to get a license from the town, and Hot Temptations has no license.
Eads never asked for a license and doesn't see a need for one now. He testified that he had removed videos, sexual devices and other items for sale cited by James, so Eads claims his shop is not offering adult entertainment.
Town attorneys said even if the objectionable items are removed, Eads still violated the stop-work order by opening the shop.
June 24, 2008 http://www.indystar.com
Aussie women turned on by cyber sex
AUSTRALIAN women have welcomed technology into their sex lives, with one in five admitting to a sexual encounter in an internet chatroom.
The survey, which questioned nearly 2000 women from around the country, also found more than half had sent or received a sexual text message and one in five have starred in their own sex tape.
"As a society, we increasingly rely on technology to get the job done, whatever the job is," writes Joan Sauers in her new book, Sex Lives of Australian Women.
"Have Australian women joined the cyber-sexual revolution?"
The answer, apparently, is yes.
Sauers used an online survey to question women about their sex lives during a three-month period last year and the results are published in her book.
According to the results, the most avid participants in chat room sex are women in their 20s (26 per cent) followed by those in their 50s (21 per cent).
Some women reported finding net sex "liberating", "exciting", "guilt-free", empowering and safe - no chance of STDS or pregnancy.
Others described the experience as "empty", "unfulfilling", "demeaning", "tacky" and "pretty lame".
However, women who had good experiences with chat room sex outnumbered those who had bad experiences two to one, Sauers reports.
The webcam also forms a part of online sexual activity for some women, who use it either with their partner or with strangers.
Young women are the most likely to engage in text sex using their mobile phones, the survey shows.
Seventy per cent of women in their twenties had engaged in sexual SMS exchanges, followed by 44 per cent of those in their forties and 34 per cent of women in their fifties.
Meanwhile, 22 per cent of women in their twenties and 20 per cent of women in their thirties had been filmed or taped having sex.
Some enjoyed the experience but slightly more were less than thrilled when seeing the results in the cold, hard light of day.
Many said they didn't like seeing themselves on film because they looked "fat".
"It was fine, but to tell you the truth ... watching it again was hilarious ... not erotic ... my arse was NOT ever meant to be on a tape," responded a 33-year-old mother from Western Australia.
But a 34-year-old designer and artist from Victoria highlighted another problem: "At the time OK - exciting, defiant, liberating ... Absolutely horrified after the event - especially after we broke up".
Sex Lives of Australian Women also reveals intimate details about masturbation, sexual fantasies, same-sex sex, pornography, affairs, as well as posing the question: "Are men necessary?"
Respondents were almost evenly divided between yes and no, Sauers writes.
"It was also interesting to note that proportionately, lesbians tended to find men necessary more often than straight women," she reports.
"A lot of women feel that men aren't exactly necessary, but they're nice to have around."
June 30, 2008 http://www.news.com.au
Remote chance of long sex
IT may explain a lack of understanding between the sexes, or it just
may mean our men need a sex lesson, but many women admit they are so
hooked on their favourite TV shows they speed up sex so they don't miss
them.
The UK's Sun paper reports that almost a fifth would even give up the chance of a romp in favour of slumping in front of Home and Away or Sex And The City.
Others plan annual holidays around the TV schedules or lie to friends about being busy so they can avoid missing their programme, a new study has revealed.
Telecoms firm Tiscali which quizzed 1,600 adults, found 17 per cent of women aged 16 to 24 will either race through sex or put it off altogether to get in front of the TV in time.
June 28, 2008 http://www.news.com.au
Jimmyjane Launches The Usual Suspects Iconic Vibrator Collection
Certain vibrator styles are now so ubiquitous, they've become household names. In particular, "the rabbit", the "pocket vibrator", and the "vibrating ring" are recognizable at a glance, and have become mainstays of popular culture. As a result of their popularity, some of these styles have remained in production for decades, and have spun off a dizzying array of variations. Today, with so many alternatives available, the selection can be almost overwhelming.
"We've been hearing from customers that they're interested in these iconic styles, but are unable to tell which are the most functional, durable and - most importantly - safe," says Ethan Imboden, Founder and Creative Director of Jimmyjane. "To make it easy, we tracked down the best of each style, distilled them to pure white, and gathered them into a single collection for our customers. Each of The Usual Suspects meets our stringent material quality and safety standards, and is backed by our one-year limited warranty - the first of its kind for these types of vibrators."
The Usual Suspects line up includes something for everyone -
- Iconic Rabbit, AKA "Twice As Nice" - Perhaps the best known vibrator ever made, this "Rabbit Habit" is the original that inspired hundreds of derivative products. Created in Japan over 25 years ago, it was the first to offer simultaneous internal and external stimulation. This configuration was so successful that it launched an entire category of products, now known in the industry as "Twice As Nice" vibrators.
- Iconic pocket, AKA "Pocket Vibrator" - Pocket Vibrators were first produced in Japan over 25 years ago. Their compact all-in-one design made them the most portable vibrators available at the time. They were also among the first waterproof vibrators in wide circulation. The versatility and innocuous appearance of the Pocket Vibrator, combined with its usefulness for non-sexual massage, has given everyone a reason to keep one handy.
- Iconic Ring, AKA "Vibrating Ring" - Only recently introduced into the market, Vibrating Rings have immediately become a favorite. The first hands-free vibrators to become widely available, they're an easy way for couples to share sensation. Unlike the disposable products that are more common in the market, the Iconic Ring features replaceable batteries for an extended life. It is also one of the most versatile products of its kind, featuring a unique touch-sensitive vibration mode and showerfriendly water resistance.
Remaining true to the heritage of these iconic styles, Jimmyjane has partnered with Vibratex to offer this curated collection. Vibratex is a family owned and operated company that has been a pioneer in offering highly original and functional sexual accessories since it was founded nearly 25 years ago. Included with each product is a brief history of its creation.
The Usual Suspects are presented simply and cleanly, with photography that emphasizes the unmistakable silhouette of each vibrator in the collection. The elegance of the packaging, and the pop culture appeal of the styles, makes them ideal as a gift or personal treat.
"Whether they're updating a personal favorite or trying something new, we're excited to offer our customers these iconic styles in the highest quality available," states Imboden. "The Usual Suspects are another example of Jimmyjane's commitment to being a complete resource for our discerning customers."
June 24, 2008 http://www.pr-usa.net
Unsafe Sex Remains Common Among New Yorkers
More than one-third — 36 percent — of New York City men who have sex with other men and have had five or more sex partners within the past year do not consistently use condoms. City officials said that statistic was one of the most troubling findings from a new report — titled “Are New Yorkers Having Safe Sex?” — that was released on Tuesday by the city’s Department of Health and Mental Hygiene.
The report comes just a few months after the city warned about an alarming increase in H.I.V. infections among young gay men, which has occurred even as overall H.I.V. infection rates and AIDS deaths have declined.
The report [pdf] was based on a telephone survey of 10,000 residents conducted by the department’s Bureau of Epidemiology Services. It contained an array of facts about the sexual practices of New Yorkers. Among the most notable findings, as organized by topic:
General Sexual Activity
* Nearly three-quarters (72 percent) of adult New Yorkers reported being sexually active in 2006, and one in nine said they had had two or more sex partners.
* Over all, 11 percent of New Yorkers, or 610,000 adults, report having more than one partner in the past year.
* Men are three times more likely than women to report multiple partners (17 percent vs. 6 percent).
* Young adults (18 to 24 years old) are four times as likely as older adults (45 and older) — 25 percent vs. 6 percent — to report having multiple partners.
* Asian adults were less likely to report having multiple sex partners than any other ethnic or racial group.
* New Yorkers with same-sex partners are nearly three times as likely (33 percent versus 13 percent) as those with opposite-sex partners to report having more than one partner in the past year.
* Five percent of New Yorkers who are married or in steady relationships say they’ve had two or more partners in the past year.
* Men who have sex with men were more likely to have five or more sex partners in the past year than men who have sex with only women (23 percent vs. 6 percent).
Contraception and Condom Use
* Only 60 percent of New Yorkers with multiple partners reported using a condom the last time they had sex. The proportion is even lower – 43 percent – among New Yorkers who are in committed relationships but have had other partners during the past year.
* Reported condom use is similar between women and men (62 percent vs. 61 percent).
* Condom use is higher among younger New Yorkers (18 to 24) was higher than among older age groups.
* Hispanic adults are more likely to have used a condom the last time they had sex than white adults (66 percent vs. 55 percent).
* Only about half of men with both male and female partners (55 percent) reported consistent condom use. Among men who have sex exclusively with other men, 75 percent said they always use condoms.
* One third of women (34 percent) used a condom as their only form of contraception the last time they had sex.
* Only 7 percent of women of reproductive age used both a hormonal method — like the birth control pill, shot or implant, the patch or the vaginal ring — and a condom the last time they had sex. Officials recommends using two methods of contraception as the most effective way to prevent pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections.
* Few women (8 percent) and even fewer men (5 percent) of reproductive age reported receiving information, counseling, or prescriptions for emergency contraception in the past year.
Pregnancies and Sexually Transmitted Diseases
* In 2006, more than half of all New York City pregnancies were unplanned.
* In 2006, more than 60,000 new sexually transmitted infections were reported – including 3,745 new H.I.V. diagnoses.
Dr. Thomas R. Frieden, the city’s health commissioner, said in a statement:
Tens of thousands of New Yorkers put themselves at risk by having unsafe sex. Reducing your number of sexual partners, and using condoms correctly and consistently, makes it less likely you’ll get a sexually transmitted infection such as H.I.V. Of most concern, among men who have sex with men who had 5 or more partners in the past year, 36 percent did not use condoms consistently. This is a core group which is at high risk for getting – and spreading – H.I.V.
June 24, 2008 http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com Sewell Chan
Does sex make you fat?
The idea that a good workout in bed could pile on the pounds rather than help to shed them seems bizarre, and yet this is exactly what a group of scientists are now proposing.
Writing this month in Medical Hypotheses, the researchers argue that the hormone prolactin may be to blame.
Prolactin stimulates milk production and fatherly love. Blood levels of the hormone rise after sex, especially following orgasm during intercourse. Increased prolactin has in turn been linked to weight gain in several species, including humans who suffer from hyperprolactinaemia (chronically high prolactin levels). And expectant dads are also thought to get chubbier due to a rise in prolactin.
Putting these observations together, Ritesh Menezes from the Department of Forensic Medicine and Toxicology at Kasturba Medical College in Mangalore, India, and colleagues suggest "that increased sexual activity may possibly be a causative factor in gaining body weight".
I couldn't reach Menezes to find out what inspired their idea: voluptuous nymphomaniacs, pot-bellied lechers? But Stuart Brody at the University of the West of Scotland, discoverer of the post-coital prolactin surge, thinks they are barking up the wrong tree.
"There is a relationship between frequency of penile-vaginal intercourse and slimness in humans, but in the opposite direction," he says.
Brody previously found that of 120 healthy men and women, those who had sex often were slimmer than those who did not. He argues that it is inappropriate to compare a medical condition like hyperprolactinaemia with a normal short-term hormonal surge.
"As an analogy, when you exercise, your heart rate increases to perhaps, say, 140 bpm. Good. If your resting heart rate is 140 bpm, that is not likely to be a good thing. Also, speaking of exercise, do not forget the exercise value of, especially, penile-vaginal intercourse."
So, is sex a good way to lose weight, after all, as some have claimed? Or could it still be that if you just do it often enough, prolactin levels stay so high that the scales are, so to speak, tipped in favour of weight gain? Personally, I imagine that having sex this often would either burn calories far in excess of any extra weight that might be put on - or leave no time to eat much in the first place.
June 18, 2008 Nora Schultz, New Scientist contributor http://www.newscientist.com/
Juvenile sex offenders marked for life
Records of childhood transgressions, never sealed, limit options for adults.
They were neighbors, aged 13 and 10, who played together in a toy fort at the older boy's home. But one summer afternoon, the teen began talking about masturbation, then performed oral sex on the younger boy. He said they should do it again the next day. And they did.
Soon after, two sheriff's deputies arrived at the adolescent's Eastside home to read the seventh-grader his rights. Within two months, he was a registered sex offender, convicted of first-degree child rape.
"I didn't know that what I was doing was a crime -- that's not to minimize it -- I just didn't know," said Tyler, now 23, who agreed to talk with the Seattle P-I if identified only by his middle name.
"I was just some stupid kid growing up, who had an urge and he didn't know how to cope with it. Afterward, I always wondered, 'Is there something wrong with me? Is there some malfunction in my brain? Am I a pervert?' But it was just my inability to understand what I was feeling."
Since 1997, more than 3,500 children in the state -- some as young as 10, though on average about 14 -- have been charged and convicted as felony sex offenders, a mark that remains on their records forever, barring them from careers in medicine, teaching or a host of other professions that serve the vulnerable. It also frightens many into under-the-radar housing arrangements to avoid landlords who require background checks.
"Juvenile sex offenses cannot be sealed -- ever -- and that's huge," said Kim Ambrose, a former public defender who now runs the Child and Youth Advocacy Clinic at the University of Washington School of Law. "It messes you up with any public housing or any job that allows you access to children -- teaching, coaching, shoot, even cosmetology. The only thing that's available, basically, is to get a pardon from the governor."
Washington is among the few states to include juveniles in its sex offender management plan, assessing youths with tools designed for adults and funneling them through the courts with adult-sized punishments.
Next year, those laws could become even stricter if legislators decide to implement the Adam Walsh Act. The federal legislation, which financially penalizes states that decline to apply it, requires all offenders 14 or older to register with law enforcement for at least 25 years, no matter how upstanding they may have been since their crime.
Tyler, like most youths who get treatment, has never been charged with a sexual offense again. The court sentenced him to two years in an intensive therapy program designed as an alternative to incarceration. He attended school but had to avoid sports -- counseling appointments conflicted with practice -- and he lied desperately to keep his secret from friends.
"As a 13- or 14-year-old, you're sitting there wondering if you're as much of a freak as they say you are," he said. "Are you going to be like this forever? What's going to happen in the future? It's the scariest thing you can possibly imagine."
He looks away then, this preppie young man in a North Face jacket, tears in his eyes.
Now a student at the University of Washington, Tyler has a girlfriend and tries to live as normally as possible. But the childhood record has scuttled his hopes of becoming a doctor and, by alienating him from peers who might ask too many questions, paralyzed much of his social development.
"I was arrested on a Friday morning, at home, by myself," Tyler said, his voice tight at the memory, his fingers snapping a rubber band on his wrist. "I was booked and held, handcuffed to a plastic chair. I remember overhearing one of the police officers calling my mother and telling her there was nothing she could do because her pervert son was going to go to jail.
In general, prosecutors defend their approach to offenders such as Tyler, saying the law treated juveniles too leniently before several changes were made in the 1990s. Therapists who specialize in sexual deviance also acknowledge that some youths warrant aggressive oversight -- kids who hunger for graphic details about sex acts and seem unable to control their impulses.
But these are the minority, said Tim Kahn, who has been treating such young people for nearly three decades. Most of Kahn's patients are closer to the 12-year-old boy he recently met, an elementary school student who had pulled down the panties of his 4-year-old cousin and touched her genitals with several toys. The child, who committed no other crime, is now a registered sex offender.
While supportive of laws that essentially force kids into treatment, Kahn and others wonder at the wisdom of tarring them forever with a childhood act.
"They're branded -- it's on their forehead, even if their face isn't on the Internet," said Michele Shaw, a defense attorney in Seattle who has handled hundreds of these cases. "The punishment is just never-ending."
Shaw is among a group of lawyers and therapists planning to push for new laws that would permit sealing juvenile records in certain cases.
Consequences for these youths may depend, at least in part, on a child's attorney. Jack, for instance -- also 23 and identified here by his middle name -- was discovered at 12 fondling a 5-year-old neighbor. But his lawyer was able to get a felony child molestation charge reduced to assault with sexual motivation, a misdemeanor, and the distinction allowed Jack to have his childhood record legally expunged.
He now works with youngsters at the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program in Seattle and plans to apply to medical school in the fall -- all of which would have been impossible with a felony history, even if it happened when he was 12.
"I sat down with this woman for like 15 minutes, paid her $100 and the next thing you know, my record was gone," Jack said. "If I hadn't, I know it absolutely would have prevented me from the work I'm doing now, helping kids."
Court officials, acknowledging current research that shows youths who complete sexual deviancy treatment have extremely low rates of recidivism, accept that some refinement of sex crime laws may be in order. But in the current political climate, few believe legislators will make adjustments soon.
Even prosecutors concede that the law for juvenile sex crimes sometimes acts as a bludgeon, rather than a scalpel.
"The entire purpose of the juvenile justice system is more for rehabilitation than retribution," said Ian Goodhew, deputy chief of staff at the Office of the King County Prosecutor, who formerly supervised juvenile sex crimes. "Has that always been accomplished? No, and that's particularly true with juvenile sex offenders."
The vast majority of these felons are rated as Level 1's -- the least likely to reoffend. In King County, for example, of 79 young sex offenders being tracked in a recent week, 84 percent fell into that category.
Yet Goodhew still supports a hard-line approach.
"Under the past system, we didn't treat these cases seriously enough," he said. "Has there been reform and increased punishment from 20 years ago? Yes, and I think that was the right move. But we should always ask, have we gone too far the other way? I don't believe we have."
Many therapists feel otherwise.
"A common misperception is that they're like adults," said Dan Knoepfler, president of the Washington Association for Treatment of Sexual Abusers. "But they're not. We're mainly talking about geeky, nerdy, socially immature kids. And so many of the factors that contribute to risk -- like where they live or how their families work -- are out of their control."
In decades past, Knoepfler said, few believed that youths committing inappropriate sex acts -- whether awkward adolescents or predatory criminals -- needed treatment. "But my sense is that now we've oversold the case," he said.
Tyler, struggling to find a way to use his talents productively -- medical school is out, a legal career may also pose problems -- agrees, with bitterness evident in his voice.
"All my ambitions are bound by a felony conviction from when I was 13 years old -- 11 years ago," he said. "I just don't want to be a felon any more. I want to wake up one day and not be a criminal, a sex offender. That, I guess, is now my ambition in life."
June 22, 2008 Claudia Rowe http://seattlepi.nwsource.com
Hedge While You Play, Profit From Porn, Sex Toys: Susan Antilla
Peter Lynch, the famed investor and vice chairman of Fidelity Investments, often advised to ``invest in what you know.''
Maybe that's why Francis Koenig thinks Wall Street is ready to come around to putting big money into the adult-entertainment business.
Koenig is chief executive officer and founder of AdultVest Inc., ``the world's first and only investment community designed specifically for the adult industry,'' according to the company's Web site.
AdultVest matches buyers with sellers of strip clubs and other businesses; offers a forum for ``talent'' to be bought and sold in the adult industry; and seeks out investors to pony up money for hedge funds that invest in clubs, adult-toy companies, porn-movie producers and other legal players in the sex business. It is the latter -- the hedge funds -- that is the ``primary focus'' of AdultVest, Koenig said in a telephone interview.
Primary, perhaps, but not quantifiable for anyone trying to determine how much cash has come AdultVest's way. Koenig won't say how much money is under management, allowing only that it's a ``small group'' of institutional investors -- fewer than 20 -- in his Bacchus Investment Fund (minimum ante: $1 million) including one pension fund that he declined to name.
His second fund, the Priapus Investment Fund, has lured enough smaller investors expending a $100,000 minimum that Priapus was able to purchase the domain name iPorn.com, which Koenig calls ``the crown jewel of the portfolio.'' Priapus also owns shares of strip-club operator VCG Holding Corp.
Comparable Deals
Koenig won't say what the price was for iPorn.com, which consisted of the domain name only and no content. But he does hint that a similar domain name -- porn.com -- fetched $9.5 million in March 2007.
His investors may all be anonymous; his business may be sordid and the amount of actual money he's managing may be a mystery. None of that will keep Koenig from being among the luminaries honored at New York's Cipriani Wall Street on June 25, where Michael Steinhardt and other hedge-fund icons will gather for the black-tie Sixth Annual Hedge Fund Industry Awards sponsored by Total Alternatives (formerly Alternative Investment News). AdultVest is among four nominees for the ``Hedge Fund Launch of the Year'' award.
Last year, the award went to KKR & Co., formerly Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co.
Koenig says he thinks that investors ``have gotten over the moral issues'' related to adult investing.
VCG Owners
There may be something to that. The New York State Common Retirement Fund, the California Public Employees Retirement System, or Calpers, and the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania Public Schools all disclosed in Securities and Exchange Commission filings that they owned VCG shares. That should go over big with the kindergarten teachers and school social workers in the Keystone State.
Money managers JLF Asset Management LLC, Burlingame Asset Management and Slater Capital Management LLC also held stakes in VCG as well as strip-club operator Rick's Cabaret International Inc., according to SEC filings.
Rick's is a particular favorite of the Wall Street crowd, catering to multitasking financial types who stop in for a quick lap dance by making sure there's always a TV screen tuned in to CNBC.
Little Fetish Fairy
Still, considering the company AdultVest keeps, it should come as no surprise that Koenig's is a venture that gives many investors the creeps. When AdultVest appeared at the Erotica LA trade show June 6-8, its co-exhibitors included Little Fetish Fairy, a seller of provocative women's clothing; Desire Resort & Spa, a nudist resort; and, proving that this is the ultimate open-minded crowd, Escorts for the Disabled. Visitors to the show could attend seminars such as ``Sex Toys for Beginners'' and ``Pole Dancing for Fun and Fitness.''
Paul Fishbein, publisher of AVN Media Network, which runs adult trade shows and publishes magazines about porn and other adult businesses, said that for AdultVest to succeed, it will need ``big-name acquisitions,'' including a content producer, an Internet outlet, and a big player in the sex-toy business. AdultVest is an AVN client.
At AdultVest, Koenig is feeling good -- that's the idea, after all -- about his crown jewel, iPorn. He's offering free membership for customers who sign up for a ``pre-launch'' test before he unveils the Web site later this year.
``Twenty percent of our traffic is from iPhones,'' he gushes of the initial response, adding that iPhone users can download the iPorn icon ``right on the phone so that you can access your iPorn any time you're on the go.'' Porn watchers can even ``carry it with them and watch on an airplane.''
Uh, not if they're sitting in my aisle, they won't. Flight attendant, could you ask the guy in 3D to give up his toys and just read a book or something?
June 20, 2008 http://www.bloomberg.com (Susan Antilla is a Bloomberg News columnist. The opinions expressed are her own.)
For today's seniors, it's never too late for sex education
Like any sex education seminar, this one covered the familiar topics: how to use a condom, how to protect against sexually transmitted disease. But some of the questions - How will Viagra affect my heart medication? Where does an 82-year-old man meet women? - signaled that the needs of this particular group were, perhaps, a little different.
News flash: Older people are having sex, and increasingly open about wanting to enjoy it. But with pleasure comes complications. Today's seniors are learning they are vulnerable to STDs and HIV; this week, Stanford and Veterans Affairs researchers released a study demonstrating the cost-effectiveness of HIV/AIDS testing for adults age 75 and up.
Add disease to the list of other challenges - learning how to work with an aging body, navigating a romantic realm that now includes online dating and sex toys - and suddenly it's a whole new world for seniors.
"I think as seniors get older, they need a lot more information," said Larry Saltman, 73, of San Jose, "because we're not dead yet."
Saltman was among the seniors who attended a "Sexuality and Aging" seminar sponsored by the San Jose Office on Aging. Today, representatives will discuss offering similar talks at all the city's senior centers.
Already, signs suggest the sessions will be popular. Pfizer claims Viagra has helped 25 million men. Baby boomers, the same folks who led the sexual revolution in the 1960s, now are becoming senior citizens.
After marching for sex, "They're thinking, 'Wait a minute, maybe I still deserve to have some,' " said Bryna Barsky-Ex, a psychologist and sex therapist with Kaiser Permanente Santa Teresa, who has counseled couples in their late 90s about how to enjoy their sexuality.
Different times
But generations like Saltman's did not grow up with the same comprehensive sex education offered today in most schools; these men and women were at least in their 40s and 50s when AIDS appeared on the scene.
In 2005, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported 15 percent of new HIV cases in the United States were among people over 50.
Saltman, who sits on the San Jose Senior Citizens Commission, suggested a sexuality session after he and his wife, Linda, saw a program about the rising rates of STDs and HIV in older adults.
Last week's program, led by Barsky-Ex, was a reminder that seniors can have fun but also need to protect themselves, he said.
"Sexuality is not just for the young or the pretty or for penises working perfectly," Barsky-Ex said. "It's for everybody."
Saltman still speaks in the accent of his native Boston, where he said it was a "no-no to talk about anything like this" when he was young.
But the conversations are becoming easier. Nearly 40 people - some with canes and ranging from 60 to 90 years old - attended the seminar.
"Sometimes it was really quiet, like, 'Ooh,' " said Linda Saltman, 69, describing the session, which covered everything from lubrication to vibrators. "And then, when it was over, everybody was smiling."
But the topic can make some a little antsy.
"To be honest with you, this is the first time I've even given it thought," said Nasario Gutierrez, a gerontology specialist with Gardner Senior Center.
Uncomfortable topic
Dr. Susan Kegeles, co-director for the Center for AIDS Prevention Studies at the University of California-San Francisco, said people are often uncomfortable talking about sexuality; discussing the sexual proclivities of the elderly is even harder.
While the prevalence of sexual activity decreases with age, men and women still have sex well into their 80s and 90s, according to a study last year in the New England Journal of Medicine.
But as more people divorce now, the chance of contracting diseases through multiple partners increases.
Jane Fowler's HIV-positive diagnosis at age 55 came as a shock. The few times she had sex after her marriage ended, condoms seemed unnecessary; she thought of them only as contraception.
"There is this denial among older people that this can happen to them," said Fowler, now 73 and the founder of HIV Wisdom for Older Women, based in Kansas City, Kan.
In Santa Clara County, people over 60 make up only 1.2 percent of the total number of HIV or AIDS patients. Those 50 to 59 years old make up 8.8 percent of the county's HIV/AIDS population, said Joy Alexiou, county public health department spokeswoman.
Experts said sex education is key to ensuring the percentages stay down. Just as important: learning that sex is about more than intercourse.
"Seniors need companionship," Saltman said. "Even if it's just touch, feel, the idea that somebody gives a hoot."
"It's part of life," said his wife, Linda. "Why keep it a secret?"
June 19, 2008 http://www.mercurynews.com
Young men taking enhancers 'to meet modern women's needs'
It's no longer the oldies who are taking anti-impotency pills. Now-a-days, even younger men are turning to enhancers to meet the increasing bedroom demands of their modern female partners, claim experts.
According to them, today's modern women, inspired by strong female characters in flicks such as 'Sex and the City', have become more vocal about their sexual desires and demand a higher level of stamina and imagination in the bedroom.
As a result, men aged between 18 and 40 years feel increasingly emasculated -- in fact, the pressure is causing many of them to experience "performance anxiety" and is also leading to the diagnoses of erectile dysfunction, the experts in Britain have claimed.
Dr John Tomlinson of Sexual Dysfunction Association said that he was hearing from an "enormous" number of 18 to 40-year-olds worried about sexual problems.
"Men may feel emasculated by modern women and feminism has taken its toll. But most of problems are psychological. I am sure many of these men are fuelling the counterfeit drugs industry by buying their Viagra online," British newspaper the 'Daily Mail' quoted him as saying.
According to him, advertisements glamorising the well toned male body, make an impact on men who presume it is what women expect.
Dr John Dean, a specialist in sexual medicine, said when Viagra was introduced ten years ago, it would have been unusual to treat men in their 30s. Now, however, it is common, he said.
Added sex therapist Denise Knowles of counselling service Relate: "Pornography affects how men see themselves and how they think women will see them. Further pressure comes from the myth that men should know what to do in the bedroom and that women are difficult to satisfy."
June 17, 2008 http://www.deccanherald.com
Same-Sex Marriages Begin in California
SAN FRANCISCO — With a series of simple “I dos,” gay couples across California inaugurated the state’s court-approved and potentially short-lived legalization of same-sex marriage on Monday, the first of what is expected to be a crush of such unions in coming weeks.
The weddings began in a handful of locations around the state at exactly 5:01 p.m., the earliest time allowed by last month’s decision by the California Supreme Court legalizing same-sex marriage. Many more ceremonies will be held on Tuesday when all 58 counties will be issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.
In San Francisco, Del Martin, 87, and Phyllis Lyon, 84, longtime gay rights activists, were the first and only couple to be wed here, saying their vows in the office of Mayor Gavin Newsom, before emerging to a throng of reporters and screaming well-wishers.
Ms. Martin and Ms. Lyon, who have been together for more than 50 years, seemed touched, if a little amazed by all the attention.
“When we first got together we weren’t thinking about getting married,” Ms. Lyon said before cutting a wedding cake. “I think it’s a wonderful day.”
Outside City Hall, several hundred supporters and protesters chanted, cheered and jeered in equal measure, giving an unruly carnival feel to the scene, complete with a marching band playing wedding songs and signs reading “Homo Sex is Sin.”
In Oakland, across the bay from San Francisco, Mayor Ron Dellums presided over more than a dozen marriages in the City Council chambers, which had been transformed into a de facto wedding chapel, with stands of flowers and a standing-room-only crowd.
In Sonoma County, the wine-rich region north of here, 18 couples were scheduled to be wed on Monday, including Chris Lechman, 37, and Mark Gren, 42, who called to book their nuptials shortly after the court’s decision.
“We’ve been on pins and needles,” said Mr. Lechman, who celebrated the 15th anniversary of meeting Mr. Gren on Monday. “We are thrilled to be part of history.”
Janice Atkinson, the Sonoma County clerk, said her office would stay open late for the rest of the month to accommodate what she expected would be a heavy load of same-sex weddings.
On Sunday, Ms. Atkinson and staff members were at a gay pride celebration in Sonoma handing out applications for marriage licenses to prospective newlyweds.
“We’re expecting some very happy couples,” she said. “And a lot of media.”
The selection of Ms. Martin and Ms. Lyon as San Francisco’s first same-sex couple was symbolic; the couple wed here in 2004, when the city broke state law by issuing more than 4,000 marriage licenses and conducting weddings in City Hall. Those marriages were later invalidated by the state Supreme Court.
On May 15, however, the same court struck down the two California laws that prohibited such unions, opening the door for California to becomes the second, and largest, American state to legalize same-sex marriage. Massachusetts did so in 2004, and more than 10,500 couples have wed there.
Same-sex marriage has been hotly contested nationwide and state by state in the courts and at the ballot box, and California is no exception.
Voters in the state will decide a ballot measure in November that would effectively overturn the court’s decision by defining marriage as “between a man and a woman.”
Forty-four states already have some sort of legal barrier — either a law or constitutional amendment — barring such unions. In 2004 alone, 13 states passed ballot measures banning same-sex marriage.
This year, however, supporters have found encouragement in both the California Supreme Court decision and in a subsequent order by Gov. David A. Paterson of New York to force his state agencies to recognize same-sex marriages from elsewhere. The California court has also rebuffed several challenges to its May 15 decision made by two conservative legal groups and Republican attorneys general who fear that the marriages will cause legal challenges to be brought in their own states.
One legal challenge was filed last week by the Liberty Counsel, a group based in Florida that wants the California Court of Appeal to halt the weddings to allow the State Legislature time to work out discrepancies in marriage law created by the state Supreme Court’s decision.
Mathew D. Staver, the founder and chairman of Liberty Counsel, said Monday’s ceremonies “make a mockery of marriage.”
“Marriage has traditionally been known, across continents and all geographical regions, as between a man and a woman,” said Mr. Staver, who is 51 and married. “Marriage between the same sex may be some sort of union, but it’s certainly not marriage.”
There has also been some local opposition to the ceremonies. In rural Kern County, north of Los Angeles, the county clerk has canceled all weddings performed by her office, a position she took after consulting with the Alliance Defense Fund, an Arizona legal group that argues against marriage for gay men and lesbians. Weddings at the county clerk’s office — long an affordable, no-frills option for couples — have also been called off in Butte County, north of Sacramento, the state capital.
In more liberal parts of the state, however, the weddings were being warmly embraced.
In Beverly Hills, Robin Tyler and Diane Olson also married, saying their vows under a chuppah on the steps of the city’s courthouse. The ceremony was solemnized by a rabbi, Denise Eger.
“Great floods cannot dampen your love,” Rabbi Eger said. “Your courage brought you here today.”
Carolyn Marshall contributed reporting from San Francisco and Oakland, and Rebecca Cathcart from Beverly Hills.
June 17, 2008
http://www.nytimes.com
MTV Launches Sex Blog
MTV’s Staying Alive safe sex campaign has launched a cool new blog where you can leave your messages about the anything to do with sex.
From the celebrity you’d really love to ‘have’, to STDs or advice on sex you can put it all on the Stand By What You Say website.
You can do it simply by calling a number- where you will be greeted by Kelly Rowland- and leave a message which will be changed into text and put online.
Check out the blog and messages from music stars here
MTV has also launched a special Facebook application where you can give to our Staying Alive campaign. Donations will be matched by the SpinVox company.
June 16, 2008 http://www.mtv.co.uk
Study: Women attracted to men's underarm sweat
Forget deodorants. The scent of sex is in your armpit sweat, for a study has found that women are attracted to chemicals in a man's underarm smell that can make her decide if you are the one for her.
In fact, underarm sweat contains a complex compound of odourless pheromones that have a powerful subconscious effect on females, according to researchers at Monell Chemical Senses Centre in Philadelphia.
In their study, the researchers found that the exposure to the pheromone from the male armpit accelerated the release of the luteinizing hormone which controls menstruation in women, the news.com.au reported.
Even the female test subjects admitted that they felt increasingly relaxed as they sniffed the hormone. As mentioned -- it's odourless.
According to the researchers, the finding may one day lead to the development of new fertility drugs. They have also speculated that men's fragrances can contain male pheromones, which would presumably be irresistible to any woman.
There's also evidence to suggest that pheromones discourage inbreeding, through part of the human genome called the major histocompatibility complex that plays a role in sexual attraction as well as combating disease.
June 5, 2008 http://www.expressindia.com
Longer, better, hotter: The best sex of your life
Reports say Hollywood star Jennifer Aniston is having the best sex of her life, thanks to lover John Mayer, who’s got her into role play. Here’s how to set your bedroom on fire without being a star
To be able to build up a plan that propels your sex life into the orgasmic cosmos, you need to figure out what sort of lover you are. And the easiest way to find that out, is to see if you are committing any of these oh-so-common mistakes.
If you are a man, you are likely to think...
You have a stronger sex drive than women: A woman’s sex drive is influenced by hormones, which is why she may often oscillate between wanting to pounce on you, and giving you the cold shoulder in bed. Most women do the housework, some even hold a job, and that leaves them exhausted enough to not want to jump into the sex routine every time.
Women orgasm only through intercourse:
Only about 30% women climax through penetration, and most are likely to go wild if you perform oral sex, or use your fingers to stimulate her.
A Woman’s satisfaction is proportionate to the size of your penis:
Almost all nerves of the vagina are concentrated in the first inch, and so, a longer organ does nothing to stimulate her.
Women need to be pushed to orgasm: There’s nothing like a quickie as far as women go. Statistics show that it takes 20 minutes or more for women to have an orgasm, during oral sex. So, that gives you a vague idea of the time frame you are playing with. It also depends on what she’s been doing before the act, how turned on she is, whether she’s had anything to drink (over four drinks, and she’s practically numb!). If you think she takes too long to climax, settle into a position that’s comfortable. Use a pillow to rest under her hips, if your back hurts. But don’t make the blunder of asking her when she’s going to orgasm.
Why wear a condom?
Apart from helping avoid pregnancy, and STDs, a condom helps block the human papilloma virus (HPV), that causes cervical cancer, a recent study proved
How to turn your bedroom into a sex den
Props to prep it up: Sex toys and essential oils might sound hackneyed, but they always yield significant results. Stock up on aroma therapy massage oils, erotic books and movies, and handcuffs.
The Bed makes all the difference: A firm bed makes for better sex, and clean, fresh, good quality sheets are a fabulous incentive to stay naked in bed. Cushions in varied sizes are a must, if you like to fool around with positions.
Aaina to your wants: Mirror wardrobe doors can be angled to provide a full-front view. Alternatively, you can use a full-length portable mirror which can be moved around.
Get the lighting right: For the most flattering view, use light from below or at eye level. Dimmers are the next best thing and can match the mood you are in.
How to fight the O quandary
For Him
Stop fretting about the orgasm you are about to have and focus instead on the fabulous sensation you are experiencing.
Know your orgasm inside out, so you know exactly what’s going to send you over the edge. The easiest way to do this is to think about your last great orgasm. Practise rating yourself to gain control.
Make friends with her vibrator. Most men feel threatened and are sometimes even envious of the apparatus. But then, they say a vibrator is the best way to achieve simultaneous orgasm. One of you can hold a vibrator over the clitoral area during penetrative sex to attain dual nirvana.
Have an orgasm first and make the “together” orgasm the second one. Most men find that they have much better control the second time around.
For Her
Use lubrication and make sure he understands it doesn’t mean you’re not turned on if you’re not wet.
Choose the right position. Woman on top, or him from behind are the most likely positions to stimulate the front vaginal wall and up your chances of achieving orgasm.
Use your pelvic muscle to control orgasms. The better toned your genitals, the more control you’ll have over both your orgasms.
For him and her
Touch yourself in front of each other. Take turns to watch your partner’s body signs at each stage for more info.
Switch simulation: Change positions, rooms, CDs to keep it hot and sexy.
53% Australian women admit to having had a “friend with benefits”, a “sex buddy”, at some stage in their lives. Experts applaud it saying it’s a much safer option than a typical one-night stand
Brits spend an average of six days a year in bed having sex (a total of 153 hours) and nine days (211 hours) lying in bed thinking about it
June 10, 2008
http://www.mid-day.com
Parenting and sex: keeping the magic alive
I believe it wasn't long after I learned how babies are made that the most disgusting thought occurred to me: My parents probably had sex at least once. And "once" was just assuming that my sister was planted in our house by some deity as a Job-like trial for me. In that moment, the fantasies I had -- that I was in fact the child of royalty, adopted by commoners to protect my identity until the day I could be reunited with my "real" parents and assume the throne -- became infinitely more appealing. Because maybe that meant the people who were raising me did not have sex after all, and I'd deal with the issue of my royal parents doing the nasty when the time came.
Nothing personal, kid ...
Now that I'm a parent myself, I know the truth is so much grosser than I imagined as a child. Parents do have sex, and sometimes even on a semi-regular basis. (Like on Wednesdays. You should totally watch this, by the way.) The problem, of course, is that kids make it that much harder to actually find the time and privacy to have a little intimacy. Here's three sex-blocking scenarios, and a possible solution for each. Consider this my public service for the week.
1. Co-sleeping. We ended up unintentionally co-sleeping with our kid, mostly because it was just easier. But of course, having a kid in the bed makes nighttime sex impossible. I have read advice like, "Oh, we just lay down with junior and then get up and go into the other room to get it on." I don't really know who these people are that can lie down with their heads on a nice, soft pillow and close their eyes and then actually get up for anything less than morning or a fire. (And I mean a literal fire. The call of burning love doesn't cut it.)
Needless to say, this is not a solution I endorse. However, I'll admit that the desire for privacy did play a big part in my desire to get the kid into her own bed, though I don't really mind the snuggly sleepy family thing. So here's our fix: We made a rule that she had to fall asleep in her own bed. Then if she woke up in the night she could come into our room, or if she wanted she could request to be brought into our bed after she fell asleep. This has worked out really well for us, but I think it's important to enforce the rule on a regular basis for it to work, not just on nights when love is a'calling.
2. Sex when the kids are around. When the little one was younger and needed regular supervision, daytime hummada hummada was only possible during naps. And even now, when she's playing alone, it's a little touch-and-go (har har) to try and work some magic with the fear of being interrupted in a way that would be traumatic for all parties. My answer? The electronic babysitter. This is why I'll never kill my television. Pull up an episode of "Peep" and it's off to the other room. (When I was discussing this story idea with someone, they said, "Oh, like you put on 'Ratatouille' and then slip away?" Let's face it: We are parents. We are tired. We don't need a two hour movie. One show is pretty much sufficient for the whole deal, clean-up and all. That's why I call it the TV quickie.)
Barry says: When the kids are gone, you must get it on.
Barry says: When the kids are gone, you must get it on.
3. The overnight. Having the kids go to someone else's house and spend the night ought to be a golden opportunity. However, sometimes this one falls into the date night trap: When it happens so rarely, there's a certain amount of pressure placed on the whole thing, and pressure can be a mood-killer. Plus this is everyone's big chance to get more than six hours of unbroken sleep! My answer to this? Too bad. Just do it anyway. Like birthdays and anniversaries, there are certain times when everyone has a right to expect some good attention and a little quality uhh-huh time. Buy some Barry White or download some porn or whatever you have to do and just have at it. Then arrange your schedule so you can sleep in. But the sex is a necessity, like eating and breathing and shopping for cute shoes.
Oh, and one final note: We have not tried this, but some people get a lock for the bedroom door. Our kid doesn't even know what the word 'quiet' means, so we don't really have to worry about being surprised, but if you have one of those more subdued little angels, it might be worth it. Just make sure you can pick the lock from the outside so you don't have to call the fire department when your child imprisons himself in your room.
You should share your own tips, but if any of them involve actual act logistics or the word "feather" or "harness," you can and should totally keep that to yourself.
KELLY MILLS is a writer, editor, blogger, and sucka for her daughter's theatrics. She has a fitness blog, Fitness Fixation, and also blogs about the world of parenting for Babble.com at Strollerderby and Droolicious.
June 9, 2008
http://www.sfgate.com/
Stressful lifestyles 'wrecking sex lives'
Sex is considered to be a stress buster. But what happens when stress kills sex? It can take its toll on bedroom lives, suggests a new study.
Researchers have carried out the study and found that stressful lifestyles and poor diets are wrecking the sex lives of nearly 15 million Britons, leading British tabloid 'The Sun' has reported.
According to David Cherrie of Lactofree, which commissioned the research, "Bloating and feeling uncomfortable are common symptoms of digestive health problems.
"With the hectic lives we lead, many of us reach for convenient foods which we are often intolerant to, causing symptoms we'd rather live without."
For their study, the researchers surveyed a number of British men and women.
A third of the respondents admitted they flopped in the bedroom because they were too tired or suffered tummy problems after eating unhealthy food at the wrong times. "And a quarter admitted their inability to make love had put
pressure on their relationships."
June 6, 2008 http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com
Decline in Teen Sex Levels Off, Survey Shows
The nation's campaign to get more teenagers to delay sex and to use condoms is faltering, threatening to undermine the highly successful effort to reduce teen pregnancy and protect young people from sexually transmitted diseases, federal officials reported yesterday.
New data from a large government survey show that by every measure, a decade-long decline in sexual activity among high school students leveled off between 2001 and 2007, and that the rise in condom use by teens flattened out in 2003.
Moreover, the survey found disturbing hints that teen sexual activity may have begun creeping up and that condom use among high school students might be edging downward, though those trend lines have not yet reached a point where statisticians can be sure, officials said.
"The bottom line is: In all these areas, we don't seem to be making the progress we were making before," said Howell Wechsler, acting director of the division of adolescent and school health at the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which conducts the survey. "It's very troubling."
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Coming on the heels of reports that one in four teenage girls has a sexually transmitted disease and that the teen birth rate has increased for the first time in 15 years, the data are triggering alarm across the ideological spectrum.
"We have a number of signs that are all going exactly in the wrong direction," said Sarah S. Brown, chief executive of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. "All of us in this field are on red alert."
The new report did not examine the reason for the trends, but experts said there could be many causes, including rising complacency about HIV and AIDS, changing attitudes about sex and pregnancy, shifts in ethnic diversity, and the possibility that there will always be teens who cannot be persuaded to wait.
"The truth is that, as a field, we really don't know what the answer is," Brown said. "There are lots of theories: the economy, classroom education, the messages kids are getting in the digital world where they spend their time. They probably all play a role."
The new figures renewed the heated debate about sex-education classes that focus on abstinence until marriage, which began receiving federal funding during the period covered by the latest survey and have come under increasing criticism that they are ineffective.
"Since we've started pushing abstinence, we have seen no change in the numbers on sexual activity," said John Santelli, chairman of the department of population and family health at Columbia University. "The other piece of it is: Abstinence education spends a good amount of time bashing condoms. So it's not surprising, if that's the message young people are getting, that we're seeing condom use start to decrease."
Proponents of abstinence programs dismissed the criticism, blaming "comprehensive" sex education that emphasizes contraceptive use.
"Contraceptive sex education does not provide practical skills for maintaining or regaining abstinence but typically gives teens a green light to activity that puts them at great risk for acquiring STDs or which serve as gateway-to-intercourse activities," said Valerie Huber, executive director of the National Abstinence Education Association.
Others blamed the onslaught of movies, books, advertising and cultural messages that they say glamorize sex.
"The No. 1 movie that all teenage girls want to see right now is 'Sex and the City,' " said Charmaine Yoest, a spokesman for the Family Research Council. "Our culture continues to tell them the way to be cool is to dress provocatively and to consider nonmarital sexual activity to be normative."
The proportion of teenagers reporting having sexual intercourse rose steadily through the 1970s and 1980s, fueling a sharp rise in teen pregnancy. The trend reversed around 1991 because of AIDS, changing mores about sex and other factors. At the same time, more sexually active teens started using condoms and other contraceptive measures. Together, the trends have pushed the U.S. teen pregnancy rate to historic lows.
The first sign that trend might be reversing came last summer, when the CDC conducted an analysis for The Washington Post of data collected in 2005 by the Youth Risk Behavior Survey, a nationally representative survey the CDC conducts every two years to track risky behaviors. While the rates still remained far below the all-time highs, the analysis showed that the proportion of teens who said they had ever had sex or had had sex in the last three months had leveled off, beginning in 2001. Researchers, however, were waiting for the next round of data to see whether a real trend was represented.
The new data come from the 2007 survey, which involved 14,103 students in grades nine through 12 at 157 high schools nationwide. The survey found a slight increase between 2005 and 2007 of the proportion who reported they had ever had sex, had begun having sex before age 13, had engaged in sex within the last three months and had had sex with at least four partners.
None of the increases was sufficient to convince statisticians that there is an upward trend. But when the agency analyzed the numbers for The Post, statisticians found that every measure of sexual activity passed the statistical test for having leveled off between 2001 and 2007, and the condom use numbers passed the test for leveling off beginning in 2003.
Because the survey involved only teens who are still in school, it might underestimate the level of sexual activity and overestimate condom use, several experts said.
"What's really important here is we're really running out of steam," Wechsler said. "There's no reason for panic, but there is reason for concern."
Rob Stein June 5, 2008 http://www.washingtonpost.com/
Same-Sex Marriages Performed in Greece
ATHENS — Defying governmental wrath, the mayor of a remote Greek island performed the country’s first same-sex marriages on Tuesday, wedding two men and two women.
The civil ceremonies, held at sunrise in the nondescript town hall of Tilos, a tiny island in the eastern Aegean Sea, defied statements by a senior Greek prosecutor last week that such unions were illegal.
“It’s done, now,” the mayor, Anastassios Aliferis, said in a telephone interview. “The unions have been registered, and the licenses have been issued. It’s a historic moment.”
With its abundance of glamorous gay bars and summer island resorts like Mykonos, Greece has long drawn thousands of gay tourists annually. But gay men and lesbians in this European Union nation of 11 million people frequently complain of discrimination. Public displays of affection are widely frowned upon. The country’s military bars gay men and lesbians from joining its ranks, and in 2003 a private Greek television network, Mega Channel, was fined $116,000 by the National Radio and Television Council for showing men kissing in a weekly drama. Greece’s powerful Orthodox Church has also denounced homosexuality as a sin and “defect of human nature.”
On Tuesday, however, a bubbling just-married Evangelia Vlami emerged from the Tilos town hall, telling the BBC that the unions would help end discrimination. “We did this to encourage other gay people to take a stand,” she said.
About two dozen people attended the no-frills ceremony, held under the watchful eyes of police officers and dumbfounded locals.
“I couldn’t believe it,” said Sofia Kamma, a resident contacted by phone. “I know they’re people too, but couldn’t they have gone on doing what they were doing without getting our community involved?”
Greek gay rights groups have noted a loophole in a 1982 law that does not specify that a civil union must involve a man and woman.
But last week, as the gay couples made plans to tie the knot, taking out a wedding notice in a local newspaper, Greece’s top prosecutor, Giorgos Sanidas, warned that any same-sex marriage would be “automatically nullified and considered illegal.”
He said the decree was founded in the spirit of the Constitution, which defines marriage as matrimony between a man and a woman with the intent of forming a family.
But Mr. Aliferis, a Socialist foe of the ruling conservative government, insisted otherwise. “There is no court in Europe that will side by this arcane reading of the Constitution,” he said. “What happens if a couple cannot reproduce and have a family? Is their marriage null and void?”
Gay activists have warned that they may now begin to sue any of the country’s municipalities if civil authorities resist requests for similar same-sex unions.
The Netherlands was the first European Union country to offer full civil marriage rights to gay couples, in 2001. Belgium did so in 2003, followed by Spain, despite fierce opposition from the Roman Catholic Church.
Most other European Union countries have varying forms of civil unions.
“It’s ludicrous for Greece, the cradle of democracy and human rights, to deny homosexuals equal rights and privileges,” Mr. Aliferis said. “Officials should take the time and reassess their views.”
Gay activists have vowed to seek recourse with the European Court of Justice if authorities in Greece continue to challenge same-sex marriages.
June 4, 2008 ANTHEE CARASSAVA http://www.nytimes.com
Men and infidelity: More than just sex
Many believe that men are genetically wired to have multiple sex partners; while others feel this is just an excuse that the weaker of the species resort to when they feel the urge for some action between the sheets.
Like it or not, but men do cheat - that’s not to say that women don’t, they certainly do but in this article we will look male infidelity.
Coming back to the point, it is commonly believed that sex is the root cause of male infidelity; that boys will be boys, and it’s all about the basic desire to satisfy the male libido. Wrong! Believe it or not, having another woman in his life is not all about sex.
Kya Kool Hain Hum
“Gone are the days when men desired another woman for satisfying their male libidos! Nowadays it has become more of a status issue, especially among male friends’ where one tends to flaunt that they are going around with more than one woman at one time,” says Yash Batra, married for 14 years.
Adman Prahlad Kakkar says, “Having another woman in life has become a ‘trophy’ thing for men today. Some just dump their wives and look out for a new woman half their age because when a wife turns 50, she gets fat and no longer looks as beautiful. And those ‘uncle types’ men, who have become industrialists and now hang out with cooler people are worried about taking their wife out. So, they end up picking a hot 23-year-old chick as arm candy to make their friends feel jealous. But they fail to realise that these ‘trophy girlfriends’ are just eyeing their bank balance.”
Ask film-maker Raj Kaushal, married to Mandira Bedi and he fully agrees, “Its all about choosing between ‘Who I am’, and ‘What I want’ attitude. Having a fling or a one night stand is different from having a full fledged affair. Eighty per cent of men talk more than they do, just to show how sexually competent they are, not only with their wives but another woman too. For them, it’s more about showing off among friends that ‘look I am so cool and yours is a boring life’ but they are just fooling themselves.”
Experts Speak
Experts believe that more than physical attraction, it’s a desire to flaunt male prowess that makes men pick ‘trophy girlfriends’.
Leading psychiatrist Dr. Sanjay Chugh states, “Maybe these men believe in the phrase 'the more the merrier' which is why the so called deprived ones’ feel jealous and inadequate and the protagonist is almost made to feel like the king!”
“Just like for some having an expensive car, dining at the finest of restaurants, wearing branded clothes, carrying branded accessories, going for luxurious holidays means attaining a high status among their social circle, for some men - for whom women unfortunately might be perceived as mere commodities - having an attractive woman by their side could be a symbol of status or power.”
Psychiatrist Dr. Samir Parikh elaborates, “If any section of men thinks that infidelity gives them a status in society, I believe that they don’t have substance in themselves and need to show multiple partners in life.”
Dr. Sanjeeta Kundu, consultant, clinical psychologist at Max Healthcare, adds: “Men with a not-so-well established self-consciousness can cash-in on such tactics. This not only indicates their poor self-esteem but also shows how they minimise the importance of a woman to mere objects that satisfy materialistic needs.”
The last word....
These men may seem to have it all – money, power, status, yes and so-called ‘trophy girlfriends’. But alas, all that glitters is not gold...
TV actor Aamir Ali in a committed relationship says: “Undoubtedly, these men are mere attention seekers who aren’t confident about their personality and comfort level when they are with friends. Just to prove their superiority, they opt for such bizarre things of flaunting their relationships.”
Kakkar supports, “A man who pretends to prefer ‘status’ to ‘sex’ can be a total wannabe who is so desperate for acknowledgment among the peer group that he is flaunting a second or maybe third / fourth woman in his life with whom he can wine, dine and enjoy. Even if the girl, in real, disagrees to mingle up with the men in the desired way, he would still show off among friends as to how hot she is in bed.”
June 3, 2008 Monika Rawal http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com
The history of vibrators
From the moment that the steam-powered “Manipulator” appeared in Britain in 1870, the story of vibrators is every bit as thrilling as the devices themselves, reflecting science, medicine, design, technology and social history. I am this week giving a lecture at the Cheltenham Science Festival on the science and history of vibrators, and through my research I have come to realise that, above all, the vibrator story reflects men's changing attitudes towards women.
It starts hysterically with “womb furie”. Hippocrates thought the womb wasn't a fixed item but wandered about the body looking for trouble. At the moment of orgasm, it gripped the windpipe causing the breathless panting so familiar to watchers of When Harry Met Sally. From earliest times there was a recognised women's complaint characterised by nervousness, fluid retention, insomnia and lack of appetite. Hippocrates thought that a blockage in the womb was the cause of it, hence it was called hysteria from the Greek for womb (hysteros). Galen, a Greek physician, claimed it was caused by sexual deprivation, particularly in passionate women, and was noted in nuns, virgins, widows and occasionally in married women whose husbands were not up to the job.
Massage to “paroxysm” was the ticket. “Arising from the touch of the genital organs required by the treatment, there follows twitchings accompanied at the same time by pain and pleasure...from that time she is free of all the evil she felt,” proclaimed Galen.
The trouble was that doctors regarded this treatment as numbingly tedious. Bringing a woman to paroxysm by hand could, understandably, take for ever. It was a job that required stamina and not a little patience. And, significantly, because it took so long, it wasn't lucrative enough for doctors who needed to see many patients to achieve a reasonable income.
And masturbation (by either sex) was regarded as wrong. It was not only a moral affront but something that was thought of as constitutionally dangerous, enfeebling mind and body. “Women [with hysteria] should not resort to rubbing,” said Avicenna, the Muslim scholar and founder of early modern medicine. It was, he advised, “a man's job, suitable only for husbands and doctors”.
A vibrating sphere did the business
By the late 19th century spas had introduced water treatments to do the job more efficiently. A scary French pelvic douche from about 1860 involved what looks like a high-pressure fire hose, trained on the clitoris. It claimed to induce paroxysm in less than four minutes. If marriage wasn't delivering the goods, rickety trains, rocking chairs or horse riding were advised for nervous women as gynaecological Dyno-Rodding techniques. But if the 2.20 from Tooting failed to oblige, there was no option but recourse to a medical man. Given that many in the medical profession thought that as much as 75 per cent of the female population were “hysterical” and that it was a chronic disease which could be relieved but not cured, there was a pressing need for cheaper, less cumbersome devices. By the mid-1870s, steam power had been explored. “The Manipulator” was a table with a cut-out area for the woman's pelvis. A vibrating sphere driven by a steam engine then did the business. But like the hydrotherapies, it was not suitable for the doctor's treatment room. It was a niche market poised for exploitation.
The first British vibrator was manufactured by Weiss in the early 1880s and it had several interchangeable “vibratodes”. It was battery-driven, but as electrification swept the world, devices rapidly appeared that were powered by street current. They delivered vibrations at the rate of 1,000-7,000 pulses a minute. There was every sort of variation: portable, floor-standing and, oh joy, the wondrous Carpenter vibrator which hung from the ceiling, looking like a device familiar to those who visit Kwik Fit to have their tyres changed.
These devices were operated by doctors, which medicalised the process and made it entirely proper. But more importantly, the medical paradigm for millennia had been that women's sexual pleasure involves penetration. A bit of rubbing by a doctor was perfectly acceptable because it didn't involve putting anything in the vagina. In fact, there was far fiercer controversy when the speculum (a metal device that is put into the vagina to allow a clear view of the neck of the womb) was introduced. The other point that is often raised is why, if paroxysm was the sovereign cure for hysteria, women were not taught how to masturbate and cure themselves.
In the early 20th century, everything in the garden was rosy until electrification made vibrators available in the home. They were, incidentally, electrified ten years before either the washing machine or Hoover. The first home machines were awesomely large, with a big box attached to the mains. One imagines that they were also awesomely noisy. But then they were miniaturised (relatively speaking). Hand-cranked versions became available, which presumably must have been distressingly prone to running out of power long before satisfaction had been achieved.
With names like Dr Macaura's Blood Circulator or the fabulously titled Veedee Vibrator, these were common devices. The Science Museum has many. “People never expect that the Science Museum has over 40 examples of vibrators,” says Katie Maggs, its assistant curator of medicine. Indeed. The product leaflets of these machines claimed they cured not just hysteria but also deafness, polio and impotence. No doubt dropped arches, halitosis and dandruff were in there somewhere, too. These machines were advertised everywhere. Good Housekeeping ran a “tried and tested” on vibrators in 1909, claiming they brought a glow to the face.
From medicine to high street accessory
Once this “treatment” had escaped from the medical arena and was available for home use, doctors stopped using it. Moreover, although vibrators were still widely advertised before the First World War, the advent of silent films, some of which portrayed them being used sexually, discredited them. Vibrators then disappeared from view completely for the best part of 50 years, although they continued to be offered, labelled as “neck massagers” in catalogues.
By the 1980s, shops such as Ann Summers were offering devices in lurid flesh tones. They were largely designed for penetration and bought by men in back streets. How things have changed. Now the devices are smaller, all colours, largely designed for clitoral use and bought by women on the high street.
But look at the latest Ann Summers device, the iGasm. Its various ‘tickler' attachments make it look startlingly similar to something illustrated in the Army & Navy catalogue of 1905. There is nothing new in the world.
June 02, 2008 Vivienne Parry http://women.timesonline.co.uk
New York Must Recognize Out-Of-State Same-Sex Marriages, Governor David Paterson Says
One day before California became the second state in the nation to legalize gay marriage, New York Governor David Paterson directed all state agencies to begin updating their regulations to recognize same-sex marriages that have been legally performed in Massachusetts, California, Canada and elsewhere.
According to The New York Times, Paterson issued the directive on May 14, less than 24 hours before the Supreme Court of California struck down that state's ban on gay marriage. The new rule in New York, which came from the governor's legal counsel, David Nocenti, tells state agencies that gay couples married outside the state "should be afforded the same recognition as any other legally performed union." The revisions to the code could cover more than 1,300 regulations in New York on everything from joint filing on tax returns to the transfer of fishing licenses between spouses.
Paterson delivered a videotaped message to gay community leaders at a dinner on May 17, in which he described the decision as "a strong step toward marriage equality." Gay-rights advocates and opponents both see the measure as the first step toward the state fully legalizing same-sex unions.
"Very shortly, there will be hundreds and hundreds and hundreds, and probably thousands and thousands and thousands of gay people who have their marriages recognized by the state," said Democratic Assemblyman Daniel O'Donnell, who has pushed for legalization of gay unions, according to the paper.
For now, Massachusetts and California are the only states that have legalized gay marriage, though Connecticut, New Jersey, New Hampshire and Vermont allow civil unions. Forty-one other states have passed laws limiting marriage to unions between a man and a woman. It is expected that the new regulations in New York will take effect by mid-June, unless a court grants a stay.
Less than two weeks after the California Supreme Court ruling, California officials said Wednesday that same-sex couples could begin obtaining marriage licenses as soon as June 17, according to CNN. The state Department of Public Health has released new marriage license forms that have lines for "Party A" and "Party B."
Talk-show host Ellen DeGeneres and actress Portia de Rossi are one of the first celebrity couples planning to take advantage of the change in the law. During a show last Thursday, DeGeneres put presumptive Republican presidential candidate John McCain — an opponent of gay marriage — on the spot about his position on the controversial issue.
"Let's talk about it; let's talk about the big elephant in the room," DeGeneres said to McCain. The senator said he supported "legal agreements" between same-sex couples, but added the caveat, "We just have a disagreement, and I, along with many, many others, wish you every happiness."
"So, you'll walk me down the aisle?" DeGeneres asked the clearly uncomfortable McCain.
"Touché," he laughed.
DeGeneres had even more fun with the topic this week during a Wednesday show, when her guests were First Lady Laura Bush and recently wed daughter Jenna Bush Hager. "So, the ranch was a great place to get married. It looked like nobody could fly over and get pictures or bother you, really," DeGeneres said of the Bush family compound in Crawford, Texas, where Bush Hager was married.
"Yeah," Bush Hager replied, "that was really nice."
"So, can we borrow it for our wedding, can we get the ranch?" asked DeGeneres. While the first lady sat quietly and didn't respond, her daughter chimed in, "Sure."
May 29, 2008 Gil Kaufman http://www.mtv.com
In 'Sex and the City,' number of sex partners true to New York life
Before Carrie puts on her Vivienne Westwood wedding dress in the new "Sex and the City: the Movie"; before Charlotte became a mom at the end of the TV series; before Smith and Harry, Steve and Big, "Sex and the City" was all about flings ... too many too count. Until now.
We did the math, punched in some numbers and calculated that during the course of 94 episodes and six seasons, the women of "Sex and the City" hit the sheets with a combined total of 94 men and one woman.
Perennially chic newspaper columnist Carrie Bradshaw and her three cohorts picked up waiters, doormen, trainers, lawyers, yoga instructors, bartenders, writers, baseball players, ophthalmologists, Realtors, artists, architects, furniture designers and unemployed actors.
Of the four women, public relations exec Samantha racked up the most sexual partners. She bedded 41 men and one woman, while Carrie hooked up with 18, Charlotte 18 and Miranda 17.
Everyone has a "number." But how many is too many and were the "Sex and the City" women oversexed?
Definitely - compared to the average American woman, who has nine sex partners in a lifetime, according to a survey by the Durex brand of condoms. But compared to the average New Yorker, they were right on target.
According to Karyn Bosnak, who researched the topic for her novel "20 Times a Lady" - about a New Yorker who vows to have sex with a maximum of 20 men - the typical New York City woman's number is twice the national average.
"Women in other parts of the country tend to get married much younger. It's not a big deal to be single in your 30s in New York," says Bosnak, "There's also the anonymity factor. You can date men from different social circles here. If you have 20 sex partners and you live in a small, rural town, that's not good.
"I stopped counting at 56," says Christine, 35, a locations director from Bayside who lives in SoHo. "There are so many opportunities to meet men here - bars, restaurants, clubs, walking down the street, the deli. Men are everywhere."
Brooklynite Linda, who has been with 13 men, agrees. "I'm married now, but when I was single, I had a blast. Sex was empowering. I once had sex on [the] F train. It was three in the morning and the car was empty. So we were like, 'Why not,'" says the 39-year- old Carroll Gardens artist.
"Manhattan tends to draw career women who typically wait longer to get married. These women usually have money, so they are not financially dependent on men. Their priorities are elsewhere," says pyschologist Victoria Zdrok, author of "Dr. Z on Scoring."
While women with digits like Samantha may keep their number to themselves, Zdrok makes the case that it's something to be proud of. "Women with higher numbers tend to be more educated, have more liberal views and higher self-esteem," she says.
Not all women think having a high number is a good thing.
"The women on 'Sex and the City' went through so many guys they devalued sex," says Crystal, 22, an exotic dancer at Rick's Cabaret in midtown. "I've seduced thousands of men, but my actual number of sex partners is one, maybe one and a half. Sex should be special."
May 29, 2008 Christy Smith http://www.nydailynews.com/
Flying sex toy places chess genius in check
Russian chess legend Garry Kasparov has an amazing ability to predict the next move of his opponent.
But even his brilliant mind couldn't have foreseen a flying penis interrupting him mid-speech.
The political activist and noted Kremlin critic was addressing opposition forces when a radio-controlled penis with testicles started buzzing around the room.
The sex toy — which was attached to a helicopter blade — hovered around for about 20 seconds before one of Kasparov's minders swatted it out of the air.
The Moscow Times reported the erotic aircraft was being controlled by "pro-Kremlin Young Russia activists".
Kasparov later saw the stunt's funny side, remarking that it was "below the belt".
It's not the first time a machine has troubled the chess champion.
He was involved in a much publicised running battle with chess program Deep Blue in the '90s.
The IBM-designed machine famously defeated Kasparov in a six-game match in 1997.
The Russian demanded a rematch, but IBM decided to retire the program while it was on top.
May 28, 2008 http://news.ninemsn.com.au
Traders blatantly sell banned sex toys and medicines
The Jinming Border Trade Market in Hekou (China), which borders Vietnam’s northwestern Lao Cai Province, is a big market for sex toys.
Its first floor, with an area of some 2,000 square meters, has more than 200 booths selling mainly sex toys and sex medicines – items outlawed in Vietnam.
The booths display many kinds of nude rubber dolls in different postures.
As well as the exhibits, there are sex toys and sex organs in boxes – or hung outside to attract customers – as well as sex-supporting medicines.
Sinh, one of the shop owners, displays a series of items for your correspondent to choose from.
“Many people buy this,” he says, inserting batteries into a fake penis.
Then, he shows four different kinds of Viagra worth between 50 and 300 renminbis (VND90,000-VND600,000) which he says are not very good because they are counterfeit.
He advertises “Spring love,” a sex-supporting medicine he says is effective because “this special medicine contains the strength of the Chinese.”
Sinh says he supplies Viagra and “Spring love” to traders in Vietnam.
Compared with the Jinming Market, the Tan Thanh Border Economic Zone in the northeastern border Lang Son Province, which trades similar goods, has less hustle and bustle.
Entering a shop for electric appliances, we ask for sex toys for women.
The shop owner shows some suitable products as well as medicine for men with weak sex capability.
Quang, a salesman, presented a vial of brownish medicine worth VND500,000 (US$31.25).
This medicine, he says, has an immediate effect on women.
It’s supplied in large quantities to traders at Hang Chieu Market, a well-known sex toy-selling area in the old quarter of Hanoi.
Hang Chieu Market is located at one end of Hang Chieu Street in Hanoi’s Hoan Kiem District.
The market covers a distance of about 100 meters.
At night time, dozens of women sit on plastic chairs to awaiting customers.
When your correspondent dropped by, several women asked if we wanted to buy medicine or condoms.
One of them took some different types of medicine out of her bag and explained their uses and effects as if she were a pharmacist.
Then she gave us a name card, saying she could supply goods directly to our place.
The “happy” market on Hang Chieu Street has operated for nearly 10 years.
Everyone knows that many products sold there, especially sex-stimulating medicines, are illegal.
Illicit trade with diverse customers Vo Thanh Thong, a resident of Ho Chi Minh City, is allegedly the head of a trans-Vietnam group that trades sex toys and sex-stimulating medicines.
Thong has set up a company, designed a website and used his blog to expand his sales network.
The website introduces sex-support tools, sex medicines, sex toys, and sex food.
In each category of goods, Thong supplies to both male and female customers dozens of different products such as fake penises, fake vaginas, rubber people and other sex enhancement tools.
He has Viagra and related drugs, such as Cialis and VPRX for men and for women, items such as “Rock-In” and female condoms.
All the products are packed for delivery to guarantee the privacy of customers.
According to Thong’s website, the company delivers goods to customers in HCMC, Hanoi, the Mekong Delta, Hai Phong and other northern provinces.
“I have many customers in the north,” Thong says.
“I sometimes send to Hanoi two to three parcels of medicines a week, mainly erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation medicines for men.”
Customers in the north are mostly rich old people who will become loyal customers if the goods have good quality, he added.
Sometimes, Thong has women customers.
They email the company wanting to buy dildos.
They usually use indirect addresses to receive their products.
In fact, many other websites like Thong’s sell sex-related things.
Recently, Le Van Loc, 51, and Thai Quoc Viet, 31, were arrested by HCMC police for selling sex toys over the Internet.
Viet confessed to building a website to sell sex toys and medicines for men and women.
He sold products of unclear origins which were advertised as products from the US and Europe.
To the customers who placed orders of more than VND300,000 ($18.75), he supplied goods to them by post or express cars.
We discovered most of the sex medicines sold at border markets, along Hanoi’s Hang Chieu Street and over the Internet are of unclear origins.
Sellers do not care about the quality of their goods, focusing instead on money and profit.
Consumers could suffer unexpected consequences if these medicines have side effects.
May 27, 2008 Tuoi Tre http://www.thanhniennews.com/
Travelling with toys and other unmentionables
Traveling makes it hard to have sex. And no, I don't mean getting initiated into the mile high club.
Airline travel with sex toys and similar items has always been a bit of a gong show, but since 9/11, exactly five years ago today, and the on-going terrorist threats, the no carry-on reins have been pulled even tighter, especially when crossing borders.
Gone are the days of toting an innocuous tube of K-Y jelly in your carry-on bag (no gels allowed). But sex toys have always come under immense scrutiny; whether they pass the checks or not seems to come down to the subjective approval of one security person versus another.
Every sex toy I know of has no sharp edges or can in any way can harm a fellow passenger (unless we are speaking of S & M playthings, and that's a completely different arena).
And what about those poor, innocent people with their "strategically" placed piercing(s) who trigger the metal detector, and are pulled over to be searched? What a nightmare.
What started this rant? I recently read about the U.S. fellow who claimed he had a bomb in his bag because he didn't want to let his mother to know he was toting a penis pump.
"Cook County prosecutors say a 29-year-old man travelling with his mother desperately didn't want her to know he'd packed a sexual aid for their trip to Turkey," CNN reported. "So he told security it was a bomb."
OK, so Mr. Pump isn't the sharpest dude.
However, in 2002, on the way home from a vacation in Las Vegas, Renee Koutsouradis's newly purchased vibrator made a racket in her checked luggage. She was made to go out to the tarmac, in full view of other passengers, and hold up the vibrator while Delta personnel laughed hysterically and made comments such as, "Doesn't your husband satisfy you?" She did press charges.
Granted, this type of incident is rare. But it does raise a point. If airline personnel were to pull out other personal effects (such tampons), wave them around in full view and make inappropriate remarks, Koutsouradis's case would have become a huge harassment suit.
If her personal item happens to be a vibrator, why should it be treated any different?
The quick and easy solution would be not to pack anything sex related. I, of course, have a problem with this. Many a couple has planned a romantic getaway or wild weekend. Why should they change their plans and their potential fun because a security guard might get squirmy around their sex toys?
I'm in no way saying security and immigration officers shouldn't be doing their job. Being alert and asking questions about non-traditional carry-on items is a good thing. Yet there needs to be a more unbiased judgment and respect, because it is not illegal to take sex toys onto airplanes.
What can you do if you want to take your toy on a trip? First off, use your common sense. Remove all batteries so they don't accidentally get turned on. For all the other things without mechanical parts, packing should not be as much of an issue.
Believe it or not, I suggest carrying on your paraphernalia. And instead of getting embarrassed and mumbling lies about it being a gag gift, medical device or a bomb, tell the truth.
Sex educator Cory Silverberg (www.sexuality.about.com) writes: "I have travelled from Canada to the U.S., Mexico and the U.K. dozens of times with sex toys for workshops, and I know lots of other sex educators who have done the same and none of us (we're a mix of genders, colours, ages and tattooedness) have ever had trouble from security.
"They tend to either be embarrassed or interested. On the other hand, I've heard several stories of people's sex toys going missing from checked baggage."
Honestly, it's simply a matter of looking the security person in the eye and stating the obvious: "It's a sex toy, officer."
Your incentive could be the fact many sex toys come with a hefty price tag and it's pretty disappointing to have them confiscated.
But, whatever you do, do not become huffy or argumentative -- you will undoubtedly get yourself red flagged and put on the no-fly list. And that's no fun at all.
May 23, 2008 Dr. Trina Read http://www.canada.com
Good vibrations!
Mr Big is a character in Sex in the City - and also the name of a sex toy launched to coincide with last week's film premiere. Sex toys are a huge market, and growing. The entire adult industry, which includes the sex-toy market, brings in between $8-12 billion each year in the US.
But the niche that is really growing is top end, designer toys, often bought by women - either for solo use or to spice up a relationship. It's all about women taking greater control of their lives, a step-change in attitudes that is now of course most apparent across Asia.
Women don't generally want to go into sleazy back streets to buy these products. Neither, it appears, do they want
pink rubber replicas of the real thing. In this world the less like a dildo a toy looks, the better. Some labels are even aspirational, such as Coco de Mer, the exotic gear shop in Covent Garden, where you can buy a Diva crystal crop for £245, a gold-plated vibrator for $249 or a chic swirled glass number for £195.
But it is really the internet that has opened up the mass market for women where the uninitiated or timid can survey sex toys in private. When Ann Summers first went online in 1999, the erotica store sold one million vibrators in the UK in just 12 months. At the most conservative estimate, at least 2.5 million are now sold in the UK every year, and the market is growing at a rate of 20-25% per year.
May 20, 2008 Cheri Jones http://www.iii.co.uk
State pharmacy places trust in lust
Sweden’s state run pharmacy Apoteket is buzzing at the prospect of selling a new range of vibrators and other sex toys.
On Tuesday Apoteket presented the new products, which are set to hit the stores on June 23rd. The ‘Trust in lust’ range includes a pink dildo, a clitoral vibrator, Ben Wa balls, a vibrator ring, three scented lubricants and some handy wipes specially designed to clean the products.
Anyone interested in buying the full range can expect to fork out 2,500 kronor ($412) for the pleasure.
Apoteket has justified the sale of its ‘Trust in lust’ range on the grounds that sex is good for its customers’ health.
“Sex is a natural part of our lives. We want to make it something decent, something which isn’t embarrassing” said Eva Fernvall, Apoteket’s product manager.
Customers wishing to buy sex toys are currently limited to the internet or specialist stores, which are only located in big cities.
Research carried out by RFSU, the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education, showed that approximately fifty percent of people between the ages of 20-45 own a sex toy. Seventy percent of people who did not own a sex toy said they would consider buying one.
“Sexual activity is important for a person’s wellbeing and health. The most important thing is that these toys are of good quality and are safe. All pharmacy staff have already been educated in this area and will be able to inform customers”, Katarina Knutz managing director of RFSU AB, told The Local.
“There are people who are against this move but they are a minority. The majority of our customers have been very positive”, said Eva Fernvall.
There will be no age limit on any of the sex toys.
“These products will attract mainly older people. Besides, these products are too expensive for very young children. If someone who is very young tries to buy sex toys then we will have a talk with them at the checkout but we cannot stop them from purchasing anything”, Fernvall told The Local.
According to RFSU, over 200 stores have already showed an interest in stocking the new line. But to begin with the products will only be available in 100 selected stores.
May 20, 2008 TT/Ronnie Gilchrist http://www.thelocal.se
'Better than Viagra': The new libido drug which boosts sex drive AND causes arousal
Scientists claim to have discovered the secret of sexual desire in a breakthrough that could change millions of lives around the world.
They are developing a "wonder pill" to generate sex drive in both women and men who struggle with their libido.
The medication could also have the potential to boost fertility rates and is believed to have the side- effect of encouraging weight-loss.
If successful, it could outsell the market-leading impotence drug Viagra, as it bolsters the brain's desire for sex, whereas Viagra boosts only physical capability.
Loss of libido affects more than a third of women and up to one in six men, but experts report a growing problem with a decline in sexual desire among stressed-out males.
The pill would use a hormone that releases Type 2 gonadotropin, which drives the reproductive system in animals and humans.
Tests on animals have proved successful and researchers at the Medical Research Council's Human Reproductive Sciences Unit in Edinburgh are working on an equivalent for humans.
Professor Robert Millar, the unit's director, initially thought the drug would work only on women - but now believes there is no reason for it not to work on men and is planning further tests.
Professor Millar said that when female musk shrews and marmoset monkeys received injections in laboratory tests, they displayed classic mating behaviour towards their male counterparts.
In musk shrews this was shown by "rump-presentation and tail-wagging" and in monkeys it included "tongue-flicking and eyebrow-raising".
An unexpected side-effect was that the laboratory animals ate significantly less food than usual - in some cases a third less than their usual daily diet.
In the animal tests, the drug could at first be injected only into the brain. But they have now been able to inject the drug into the bloodstream instead - a crucial move towards making a human version of the drug that could be released for a global mass market.
In time, they hope to produce the drug in pill form and believe it would make Viagra, the tablet that has so far been used by 27million men around the world, redundant.
Professor Millar said: 'This drug would cut out the need for Viagra completely - Viagra does not produce desire, it simply leads to an erection but not to the desire for sex.
"This drug would arouse and produce the desire for sex at the same time, in both men and women.
"It is very exciting that we have made so much progress, as the stimulation of libido would mean a great deal to a huge number of people.
"One of the next steps will be to produce a pill, as at the moment we can only inject, although surveys show many people, particularly men, are happy to inject and diabetics seems to manage it without too much trouble.
"Certainly we want to produce an oral form of this so that it could be taken very easily by both men and women."
19th May 2008 Graham Grant http://www.dailymail.co.uk
California Supreme Court overturns gay marriage ban
SAN FRANCISCO (AFP) - California's Supreme Court quashed a ban on gay marriage in a historic ruling here Thursday, effectively leaving same-sex couples in America's most populous state free to tie the knot.
In an opinion that analysts say could have nationwide implications for the issue, the seven-member panel voted 4-3 in favor of plaintiffs who argued that restricting marriage to men and women was discriminatory.
"Limiting the designation of marriage to a union 'between a man and a woman' is unconstitutional and must be stricken from the statute," California Chief Justice Ron George said in the written opinion.
The ruling added that all California couples had a "basic civil right" to marry "without regard to their sexual orientation."
Before Thursday only one US state -- Massachusetts -- allowed gay marriage, although California, New Jersey and Vermont have legislation which grants same-sex partners many of the same legal rights as married couples.
Plaintiffs and gay rights activists erupted with joy after the victory.
"It's the best day of my life, quite honestly I'm thrilled for all of us," Diane Olson said.
In San Francisco, couples immediately began lining up at the city clerk's office for marriage licenses, even though officials said they will not be able to issue any for at least 30 days, when the decision takes effect.
Thursday's ruling came after a long-running legal battle that erupted in 2000 when California voters approved a law declaring that only marriages between men and women could be legally recognized.
In February 2004, the city of San Francisco defied state law by issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, arguing that existing laws were illegal because they violated equal rights legislation.
A court later halted the issuance of licenses and declared that same-sex marriages that took place during this period were void.
However, San Francisco and civil rights activists waged a legal case arguing that limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples was unconstitutional and that the law should be struck down.
In 2005 the San Francisco Superior Court ruled in favor of the plaintiffs, finding that there was no justification for refusing to allow marriages.
But the decision was overturned in 2006 by the California Court of Appeal, which ruled in a 2-1 decision that the state's desire to "carry out the expressed wishes of a majority" was sufficient to preserve the existing law.
California lawmakers have also voted in favor of gay marriage but the bill was vetoed by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has said that the matter is for the state's court system to decide on.
Legal analysts say Thursday's court ruling could have wide-ranging implications for other US states, noting the California Supreme Court's history of landmark rulings.
"The California Supreme Court's example is often emulated and it often is sort of a groundbreaker," said David Cruz, a law professor at the University of Southern California and an expert in constitutional law.
"In the 20th century California was the first state to strike down laws against inter-racial marriage. They did that 19 years before the US Supreme Court got around to it."
But Randy Thomasson, president of the Campaign for Children and Families, reacted with dismay, insisting "marriage is naturally for a man and a woman."
"If the institution of marriage is redefined and therefore destroyed in the law, the wellbeing of children is threatened, both emotionally, socially, even physically," Thomasson added.
A coalition of religious and social conservative groups have vowed to attempt to add a vote calling for a ban on same-sex marriage when California goes to the polls in November's election.
State election officials will rule next month on whether sponsors of the vote have gathered enough signatures to force the issue onto the ballot.
"We have 1.1 million signatures," according to the Reverend Lou Sheldon, chairman of the Washington-based Traditional Values Coalition, describing the California ruling as "completely out of line."
May 15, 2008 http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp
Viagra 'aids muscular dystrophy'
The anti-impotence drug Viagra may help save people with muscular dystrophy from an early death, a study suggests.
Researchers found the way the drug works to combat impotence may also help ward off heart failure in muscular dystrophy patients.
Tests on mice with a version of the disease showed the drug helped keep their hearts working well.
The Montreal Heart Institute study appears in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
It is important to remember that benefits seen in animals do not always translate into human medicine.
Muscular dystrophy is a genetic condition causing wasting of the muscles.
The first signs of muscular weakness appear at roughly age five, leading to a progressive loss in the ability to walk by the age of 13.
People with the condition are also at a higher risk of heart failure due to a weakening of the muscles which keep the organ pumping strongly.
For this reason, many people with Duchenne muscular dystrophy - the most common form of the condition - die in early life, often in their 20s or 30s.
The Montreal team found that Viagra - known technically as sildenafil - prevents the loss of a molecule, cGMP, which plays a key role in keeping blood vessels dilated.
In the penis, this increases blood flow, and helps to combat impotence.
But in the heart it helps to ensure the organ itself receives a proper supply of blood, and remains healthy and strong.
With the heart in a strong condition, it is more able to withstand the impact of weakening muscle cells caused by muscular dystrophy.
Viagra works by blocking an enzyme, PDE5, which breaks down cGMP.
Professor Jean-Claude Tardif, director of the Montreal Heart Institute Research Centre, said: "These experimental results give us hope that one day it will be possible to treat with this approach cardiac problems in patients with muscular dystrophy, and perhaps even treat other heart diseases."
The researchers also inserted a gene that increased cGMP production in the mice's heart cells, and found that this helped the animals to maintain normal cardiac function.
Dr Marita Pohlschmidt, director of research at the Muscular Dystrophy Campaign, said the research was interesting.
However, she added: "It is important to remember that benefits seen in animals do not always translate into human medicine.
"Although this is promising, it is still very early days and we look forward to further research that will demonstrate the impact it might have for people with muscular dystrophy."
13 May, 2008 http://www.bbc.co.uk
Malaysia considers teaching sex to graduates
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) — Malaysia's government is worried that high school graduates may not know enough about sex.
Authorities in the conservative, Muslim-majority nation are considering teaching sex education to teenagers when they undergo national service after leaving school, Abdul Hadi Awang Kechil, director general of the National Service Department, said Wednesday.
Ng Yen Yen, the minister who announced the proposal, was quoted by the national news agency, Bernama, as saying that sex education, including lectures about preventing AIDS, could shield youngsters from unhealthy activities. Ng's aide confirmed the minister made the comments Tuesday.
Tens of thousands of boys and girls who are typically 17 or 18 years old are selected at random each year to participate in the government's national service training.
The three-month mandatory program aims to instill discipline and patriotism through community service, military-style physical training in jungle camps and other activities.
Sex is often a sensitive subject in Malaysia, where unmarried couples can be fined for kissing and hugging in public.
The Cabinet approved guidelines to teach sex education in schools two years ago, but activists say it has not been implemented. Officials had suggested teaching students how to protect themselves from sexual predators, reckless behavior and sexually transmitted diseases.
Adeeba Kamarulzaman, president of the Malaysian AIDS Council, said Wednesday that students receive inadequate information about sex in public schools, which generally only teach basic facts about reproduction during science courses.
Sex education classes in national service could prove useful because many school teachers are too embarrassed to expound on sex-related topics, she said.
"Better late than never," Adeeba told The Associated Press. "It's a good opportunity. They are at the right age to be receiving this kind of education."
May 13, 2008 AP
Fur Seal Caught Trying to Have Sex With Penguin
An Antarctic fur seal has been caught on camera trying to have sex with a penguin.
This seems to be the first known example of a sexual escapade between a mammal and another kind of vertebrate such as a bird, reptile or fish, "although some mammals are known to have attempted sexual relief with inanimate — including dead things — objects," said researcher Nico de Bruyn, a mammal ecologist at the University of Pretoria in South Africa.
One summer morning, scientists observing elephant seals on a beach on Marion Island near the Antarctic spotted a young male Antarctic fur seal subduing a king penguin.
"At first we thought it was hunting the penguin, but then it became clear that his intentions were rather more amorous," de Bruyn recalled Monday via e-mail.
The roughly 240-pound fur seal — in fact not a true seal, but instead closely related to sea lions — subdued the 30-pound adult penguin by lying on it.
The hapless bird of unknown sex struggled, rapidly flapping its flippers and attempting to stand and flee, without luck.
The fur seal then alternated between resting on the penguin and thrusting its pelvis at the bird in vain attempts to insert its penis for 45 minutes.
Natural, unsuccessful sexual escapades by this variety of fur seal with members of its own species may last as long as this penguin assault did, "but yes, it is quite a long time and thus unusual," de Bruyn told LiveScience.
The fur seal then abruptly gave up, moving to sea and completely ignoring the target of its affections. The penguin apparently did not suffer any injury.
The scientists detailed their findings in the May issue of the Journal of Ethology.
Sexual harassment is common in the animal kingdom.
"Homo sapiens are often testimony to that," de Bruyn said.
Many species perform some form of sexual harassment on members of their own species, "for a variety of reasons many of which are hotly debated," he added.
Many species of seals, fur seals and sea lions are polygynous, where one male mates with many females. The males often fight each other to control females.
"This system thus promotes extreme aggression in males towards each other, and if a male cannot control a beach, this aggression may spill over to sexual aggression directed at outlying females, pups or even in rare cases other seal species," de Bruyn said.
And this sexual aggression apparently might leap well beyond the species gap.
The Antarctic fur seals of Marion Island are the only ones known that eat king penguins. The thrill of the hunt felt by the seal the researchers saw may have channeled into its sex drive, as the mating season had just come to an end.
"It may have wanted to eat [the penguin] and half-way through the chase changed its mind," de Bruyn speculated. "I personally believe the link between aggressive and sexual behavior is evolutionarily far closer linked than we currently believe. This has obvious implications for humans."
On the other hand, the amorous fur seal may simply have been sexually inexperienced and playful, and wanted practice, the researchers conjectured.
"There are many things that we do not understand about ourselves that are mirrored in other species," de Bruyn said. "Thus by continuing with research efforts on other vertebrates we could learn a great deal about the whys behind human behaviors."
May 13, 2008 Charles C. Quoi http://www.foxnews.com
Plug 'n' play
'Teledildonics' are helping couples and complete strangers reach out and touch someone online.
Cyber sex isn't just the late-night pastime of techno-tarts, sex addicts and pedophiles.
Today, even the military thinks getting your virtual groove on is a matter of national security, says the creator of HighJoy.com, a virtual world where your vibrator meets your USB cable.
"We create the technology that allows you to control another person's vibrator over the Internet," says Amir Vatan, co-founder of HighJoy Products.
"We have thousands of members of military personnel using our products and staying intimate with loved ones. It can also alleviate problems in long-distance relationships if you have a spouse who travels regularly," he says.
Teledildonics are electronic sex toys that can be controlled via the Internet, transmitting the physical sensation of touch between remote participants.
Also known as cyberdildonics, they're the latest thing in cybersex technology. Although more crude than the Holodecks and cybersex suits that science fiction conceived of decades ago, today's devices are making virtual sex more real than ever, says a sex-tech expert.
"That mental and emotional connection you make during cybersex, even when you're just typing words or sending emoticons or photos, makes the body respond. Now there's a physical device that -- albeit still too clunky -- your partner can control, which augments the experience," says Regina Lynn, a Los Angeles-based columnist for Wired magazine.
"It not only bridges the gap between mental and physical, but now you can be stimulated without typing one-handed."
Can't make it home for a lunchtime romp with your lover? Why not put a "do not disturb" sign on your office door and log in to a private chat room for a cyber-quickie with your spouse?
"It's a nice way to send that extra-special message home from work," says Lynn. "Or if you're a soldier, you can schedule time at home with your wife and connect intimately."
Teledildonic technology has been around for awhile, but it's not progressing because of cultural barriers people have to overcome, says Lynn.
"It's just for fun. It's not intended to replace sex. We feel that only losers or weird people would do that, whereas it's the sexually adventurous, open people who are doing it," she says.
All you have to do is buy an Internet-compatible sex toy and download the appropriate software from a web browser like HighJoy.com or Sinulator.com.
Then all your partner requires is access to the Internet. The remote controls will work on a Mac or PC, Palm Pilot or even an airport kiosk, says Sinulator.com. And once you're set up, you can call or e-mail anyone anywhere and let them control your sex toy over the Internet -- should the mood arise.
There are now webcam porn girls with a teledildonic interface at Camz.com where you can pay a fee to control their toy and watch them respond to your remote "touch."
"Very soon, you will be able to post a HighJoy widget on any social networking site, like Facebook or MySpace, so that anyone who visits your profile can engage in virtual sex with you if you choose," says Vatan. "It is a tool to increase the level of interaction. Instead of just iCams or emoticons, you can reach out and tickle or fondle someone if they agree to it."
But good vibrations in cyber space come at a high price, which makes it inaccessible for most, says a Toronto sex educator.
"Teledildonics sounds great on paper or in science fiction. But until someone figures out how to make a lot of money out of it, a lot of people won't be into it," says Cory Silverberg, who will speak about the future of teledildonics at the Guelph Sexuality Conference next month.
The owner of Toronto sex shop Come As You Are, Silverberg sells over 200 different styles of vibrators, only one of which could be classified as teledildonic, he says.
The Je Joue comes with Pleasurewave software that allows you to build your own "groove" patterns online at jejoue.com, so you can "share them with friends, lovers and strangers." The toy retails for $350.
"A lot of people don't know about it. The ones we get coming in are in long-distance relationships and they don't want to cheat or lose touch with their partner," says Silverberg. "That's where the market's going to be."
He will put out a call next month to sex educators and therapists to become more involved in the future of teledildonics.
"They're just not that good yet. Sex-toy and porn companies aren't that imaginative, and the products are often poor quality. We need more sex professionals working with IT programmers if we want hardware and software that responds to our sexual needs," says Silverberg.
"By ignoring the broader emotional and physical context of sex, and only focusing on the genitals, most products will continue to come up short."
May 9, 2008 Jennifer Parks http://www.canada.com/edmontonjournal
French Sex Lessons
Springtime in Paris, blah blah blah. Despite their proclivity for swing clubs, kinky saunas, and other libertine pleasures, it turns out the citizens of the supposedly most romantic city on earth aren't all born Romeos and sex kittens. Love coaches, bondage, spanking, and sex toy lessons at the city's chicest sex shops: here's a list of useful addresses where Parisians go to keep up their reputations as the sluttiest people on the planet.
Pity the poor out-of-luck French dude who can't score a date despite his supposedly god-given talent for romance. But the impotent and love-starved are out there walking the Paris streets. And to rescue them, an underground society of entrepreneurial "seduction coaches" have started holding seminars for the sexually insecure, charging them beaucoup euros for methodical approaches to seducing women.
Local evangelist of the American Mystery Method Sébastien Night addresses such French-specific dating concerns as: Do you tutoyer your desired prey or stick with the more formal vous when making a come-on? Should you say Excusez-moi before approaching a girl, as you would a shopkeeper, or just go for it with a bold "Bonjour"? "We are the pilots of the airplane," says traveling love coach Night, who traverses France giving his Seduction by Night seminars to small groups of hopeful young men. "Don't wait for the girl." He offers everything from a €295 simple seminar that teaches men "the principals and techniques of seduction" to a go-for-broke €945 weekend Atelier Séduction Maestro seminar that promises a 100% money-back guarantee if you're not satisfied. "You don't have to be handsome, rich or famous to seduce," promises Night.
Other love coaches we've heard about but can't vouch for: The French self-improvement media darling Spike of Spike Seduction. Coaching Seduction from Brussels-based Anthony di Milano, who makes house calls for his French clients, the majority of his business. Nicolas Doltea's Ecole de Seduction, in which Doltea gets guys out in the streets, in bars and department stores, to work on their practical technique at getting phone numbers. The serious-seeming team at Ecole Française de Séduction appears to mix business with pleasure in the seduction department. The similarly named L'Ecole de la Séductioncaters to both men and women on the make.
Finally, the slightly more genteel "Savoir-vivre au masculin et La French Galanterie" interactive workshops at La Belle Ecole promise subtle, modern, "non chi-chi" instruction in the old-world savoir-vivre, galantry, and good manners that help men get ahead in the office and in the bedroom. €75.
For girls looking for a little help with their spanking and bondage technique, Marais sex shop Dollhouse, on the rue du Roi de Sicile, has started offering workshops that include the Atelier de Bondage and Atelier Fessée (spanking). And at Passage du Désir, "un Lovestore" that sells sex toys on the Internet, and also has a boutique in the 4th, knowing what to do with your little fedora-wearing rubber duckie is not taken for granted. The kind folks at this chic modern sex shop, open every day of the year, have mounted an exhibition that runs until the end of June:Les Sextoys expliqués aux nuls (Sex Toys for Dummies) offers sex toy instruction to the estimated 80% of their clientele that have never touched un sex-toy in their lives. All this to help with the company's mission: to aid "the sustainable development of your relationship."
May 9, 2008 http://gridskipper.com/384843/french-sex-lessons
Accused 'may have been sex-sleeping'
A PSYCHIATRIST, testifying at the trial of a man accused of grossindecency and intercourse without consent, accepted the man may have suffered "sexsomnia" which caused him to have sex with a woman while he was asleep.
Lester Walton was giving evidence via video-link at the trial of Leonard Andrew Spencer, 48, who is accused of entering the bedroom of a guest at his home at Nhulunbuy, in northeast Arnhem Land, on the morning of June 2 last year.
Mr Spencer has pleaded not guilty in the Northern Territory Supreme Court in Darwin, claiming that he had no recollection of the event.
Dr Walton said memory loss was "a hallmark of somnambulist behaviour", which was "better known as sleepwalking but includes sleeptalking and a range of other activities".
He said he had dealt with two or three cases of "sex-sleep", as the condition is known, in his 30 years as a doctor but in his early days did not recognise it as a phenomenon.
The first scientific paper describing sex-sleep was published in 1996. "It's reasonably well established that sexual behaviour can form part and parcel of somnambulism," Dr Walton said.
Based on interview transcripts between police and Mr Spencer, Dr Walton formed the view it was possible Mr Spencer suffered one of the primary "parasomnia" disorders in which abnormal behaviour, including recurring nightmares, sleep-terror, walking, talking, driving, eating and sexual activity, could occur.
He said there were five recognised stages of sleep and it was in stage three or four, when sleep was deepest, that somnambulists became active.
Mr Spencer's estranged wife had given evidence that he would sleepwalk on a monthly basis, walking into his son's room and urinating in a basket or in the bathroom sink.
She described one occasion when Mr Spencer tried to grope her when she believed him to be asleep. Dr Walton said he thought the ex-wife's testimony about Mr Spencer's sleep behaviour "quite convincing".
From what he had gleaned from interview material, Dr Walton said, Mr Spencer was depressed over his marriage break-up, suffered sleep deprivation and was on prescription medication, all of which were "potential triggers for sex-sleep".
Mr Spencer had been drinking heavily the night before the alleged assault.
Dr Walton agreed excessive alcohol consumption usually cancelled out somnambulistic episodes but he said Mr Spencer, who had gone to sleep about 1.30am and allegedly entered the woman's bedroom at 7.20am, may have slept off the effects of the alcohol by then.
Prosecutor Paul Usher began summing up to the jury by agreeing there was no DNA evidence of a sexual assault. But he said three months before the alleged event, Mr Spencer had put his hand on the thigh of the complainant as her boyfriend stepped outside.
On June 2, Mr Usher said the complainant awoke thinking the man in her bed was her boyfriend but quickly realised something was wrong.
"He was not in a state of sleep-sex or sleepwalking," Mr Usher said. "He had the full intention to commit the act."
The trial continues.
May 9, 2008 Paul Toohey http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au
Sue Johanson ending `Talk Sex' on Oxygen after six seasons
NEW YORK (AP) — Sunday night is getting less steamy.
Oxygen's "Talk Sex" call-in show with colorful septugenarian educator Sue Johanson is ending its run after six seasons, the network announced Tuesday.
The final show airs at midnight Sunday.
"I'm going to miss it terribly," Johanson told The Associated Press. "It's been part of my life and I just love it. I'm going to miss writing scripts. I'm going to miss having to read books. I'm going to miss playing with sex toys."
Her final show will count down the year's top 10 sex toys.
Her show, derived from a Canadian radio program that began in 1984, offered practical advice and the latest information on sexually transmitted diseases. It was all the more colorful hearing it from a Toronto-based nurse who looked and sounded like your grandmother.
Now 77, Johanson said she had to recognize that 1 a.m. (when her shows ended) was not her finest hour. Since it's a call-in show, taping the show earlier didn't make sense.
"I have been on television for 32 years," she said. "I think it's time. I figured if we haven't got it by now, we're not going to get it. We've got to make room for somebody else."
She said she enjoyed working with Oxygen and wasn't pushed out. The only editing Oxygen ever did was to urge her not to use a particular slang for penis.
"Talk Sex" is Oxygen's most-popular late-night show, and its ratings among young viewers this season were the best ever, the network said.
Material from the show will continue to be available on Oxygen's Web site and on demand.
Johanson said she isn't retiring and will continue to give lectures. "I'm a ham," she said. "I love a large audience."
May 7, 2008 DAVID BAUDER AP
Casual Sex, Can You Handle It?
For some people, the one-night stand -- the "it just happened" moment -- is the most enviable of sexual romps.
But it's also one of the most mine-ridden of carnal pursuits. Whether hot and exciting or empty and meaningless, casual sex isn't for everyone.
So approach with caution. Before you play this game, it’s wise to read up on the rules of engagement.
Click here to discuss this story.
With no maintenance, no commitment, little time investment, and the potential to gratify sexual urges, casual sex appeals to a number of adults who are too busy, too burned out, or too bummed about love to pursue more traditional relationships.
Sexual desire, sexual experimentation, physical pleasure and alcohol use are also among the reasons many men and women cite for engaging in casual sex.
Yet, there are gender differences associated with such sex play. Casual sex makes many men feel attractive and wanted, but women often say it makes them feel less attractive.
Research confirms that men have more permissive attitudes toward casual sex than women. Furthermore, men tend to have casual sex for social-environmental reasons, like status enhancement or peer pressure.
Women, on the other hand, are more likely to have casual sex for interpersonal reasons; they may hope that the sex partner will commit for the long term, or they may have the need to feel empowered. Still, women rank sexual pleasure as the most appealing aspect of casual sex.
Overall, casual sexers consider this form of intimacy a great way to test out different partners with varying techniques. They love the spontaneity and unpredictability of the situation. Most say they would not engage in casual sex again with the same person.
Yet at the end of the day, a steady love relationship is seen as more emotionally satisfying than intense, passionate nights of the casual sort type.
Can You Handle Casual Sex?
As those who have “been there, done that” will tell you, casual sex is not every lover’s cup of tea. People can have different expectations, emotions can come into play, and any sign of disrespect can turn into trouble. Your ability to handle a casual liaison depends upon your comfort with nonchalant sex, whom you’re with and why you’re attracted to it at a given moment in your life.
That’s why it’s so important to consider the following checklist. The more checks you have, the better you can come away from casual sex unscathed:
— Are you looking for sex that involves less emotional responsibility and intimacy?
— Are you willing to have sex that may not be as emotionally and/or physically satisfying as sex with a committed partner?
— Are you a fairly emotionally detached individual, not touched by others?
— Can you come away from a casual sexual escapade feeling fulfilled, content and glowing?
— Can you guarantee yourself (and your partner) that you’re not going to want more from this encounter?
— Can you guarantee yourself that you’re not going to fall emotionally for a casual sex partner just because you’ve been intimate?
— Do you have no qualms about having sex with somebody you’ve just met?
— Are you comfortable with the health risks that are involved in a non-monogamous relationship?
— Can you handle the stigma society puts on people who engage in casual sex?
Some of these may seem harsh, but it’s important to be honest about the situation.
People often underestimate their emotional needs and the emotions that can arise from casual relations. You need to know where you’re at, what you’re in for, and whether your greater needs can be met from these erotic engagements.
Casual Sex Etiquette
Feeling like a pretty good candidate for casual sex? Think you’ve found somebody who is game?
In pursuing such a rendezvous, be sure to consider all of the following pointers on etiquette. It will only save you lots of grief and trouble, and make your sexual adventures all the better and easier to navigate. After all, you are dealing with another human being, and emotions always somehow come into play ...
-- Approach the situation with caution, taking care to respect the other person.
-- Consider the expectations you have about casual sex. You cannot see yourself as having a future with this individual, and vice-versa. If you want a future with this person, then don’t start out so casually.
-- Communicate. State your expectations.
-- Don’t feel used, as you are also using. Own the situation and milk it for what it’s worth. Casual sex is not for the fragile.
-- Watch your alcohol intake, since drinking too much can increase your chances of engaging in behaviors you’re not ready for. Plus, alcohol can muddle your feelings about the situation, opening an emotional floodgate.
-- Always practice safe sex. Use condoms or dental dams, which are small, thin, square pieces of latex that can be used for oral sex. “Souvenirs” in the form of STDs are not necessary.
-- Plan for a graceful and easy exit when you’re tired of playing. You never know when you might want to come back to this lover for more …
May 5, 2008 Yvonne K. Fulbright http://http://www.foxnews.com
Four in ten Brit men find sex too troublesome
Those who said that men only have sex on their mind, might have to munch their own words, for now experts have claimed that a large fraction of men today find too much trouble with having sex.
Four out of ten men who approach relationship counsellors for help have confessed that though they are still physically able to make love, they just don't want to be bothered about sex.
“Men used to come to us with impotence but Viagra has sorted that. What we have is a lot of men who say, as women did in the 50s, ‘I can have sex, but I don’t want to. It’s not rewarding’,” the Mirror quoted Peter Bell, of Relate, as saying.
In fact, fifty percent of men he sees complain of a total lack of libido, something completely unheard of 10 years back. And all these men are married and are between the ages of 30-50.
One of his client, a 43-year-old graphic designer from Newcastle , told him: “I still love my wife but I don’t want to make love with her any more.”
While high rates of depression in men aged 30-50 can be considered as one of the reasons for such a trend, this phenomenon can also be attributed to long working hours and stress.
“People can find it impossible to switch off and relax, said Professor Cary Cooper, head of British Association of Counselling.
ANI May 5, 2008 http://www.thaindian.com/
Australia Will Recognize Same-Sex Couples in Tax, Pension Laws
The Australian government said today it plans to remove discrimination against same-sex couples from about 100 laws covering taxation, welfare and employment entitlements, meeting an election pledge.
Under the proposed changes, gays in long-term relationships will be treated the same as other de facto couples, Attorney- General Robert McClelland said in a statement.
Other areas where discrimination will be removed include superannuation, social security, health, aged care, veterans' entitlements and workers' compensation. The government has no plans to allow same-sex marriages, his office said.
The changes will ``make a practical difference to the everyday lives of a group of our fellow Australians who have suffered discrimination under Commonwealth laws for far too long,'' McClelland said.
The government, which won office in November, will begin introducing legislation in Parliament next month and expects all the changes to be implemented by mid-2009, according to the statement. In some areas, such as tax and social security, the changes will be phased-in to allow time for couples to adjust their finances.
``The changes will provide for equality of treatment under a wide range of Commonwealth laws between same-sex and opposite- sex de facto couples,'' McClelland added.
April 30, 2008 Ed Johnson http://www.bloomberg.com
Indians low on sexual pleasure
NEW DELHI: An international survey on sexual well-being claims that only 46% Indians experience an orgasm almost every time they have sex. In comparison, couples from other Asian nations like China, Hong Kong and Japan are worse off, being least likely to reach an orgasm every time during sex.
While less than a quarter, or 24%, of those surveyed from China and Hong Kong achieved an orgasm during every session of intercourse, they were closely followed by the Japanese (27%). Singapore too ranked poorly with those polled saying they only reached orgasm 36% of the time.
However, while 55% of Indian males almost always climax during sex, women get a worse deal with only 26% almost always achieving orgasm.
According to the survey, Italians, Spaniards and Mexicans enjoyed the most number of orgasms. They were tied for top place, achieving orgasms 66% of the time. The French came 48% of the time — the global average — the survey said.
According to the survey which polled 26,000 people in 26 countries, the humble orgasm was also found key to feeling good about oneself. Quite simply, the more orgasms you have the better you feel in general, the survey said.
The Durex Sexual Well-being Survey found that, globally, 58% of those who usually achieve orgasm were content with the emotional aspects of their sex life compared with 29% of those who rarely climax. Eight in 10 (77%) who frequently orgasm feel close to their partner during sex — a figure that falls to 54% for those who have difficulty hitting the spot.
Indians are also feeling the benefits of orgasm, with 84% feeling at ease with themselves sexually and 72% of them experiencing sound psychological health.
This compares well with other countries: 50% of British and 74% of French people who usually orgasm enjoy good psychological health while a whopping 9 in 10 (88%) Spaniards feel at ease with themselves sexually. The survey also found that a massage can be effective in reaching an orgasm.
30 April 2008
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/
Daily pill to bring back spontaneous sex
Aussie couples will soon be able to reinvigorate their love life
with a daily pill that the manufacturer promises will bring back
spontaneous sex.
The erectile dysfunction (ED) drug Cialis has been approved in a
once-a-day formulation designed for men who have sex at least twice
a week.
The drug differs from standard Cialis and Viagra tablets, which
are taken before a planned sexual interlude.
Manufacturer Eli Lilly is marketing the new product as the
latest tool for sexual spontaneity, as men on this regime will be
able to have intercourse without advance planning.
The drug, the first of its kind approved by the Therapeutic
Goods Administration, will cost about $190 for a pack of 24
pills.
Professor Doug Lording, an andrologist at Melbourne's Cabrini
Hospital, backs the drug saying continuous 24/7 coverage promotes a
more "real" sexual experience.
"This is an important new option for men with ED because it
separates the pill from the pillow, which can give them back a more
natural sexual experience with flow-on benefits to their overall
wellbeing," Prof Lording said.
The consumer support group, Impotence Australia, welcomes the
drug's approval, with chief executive Brett McCann saying ED has a
definite impact on Australians' ability to enjoy spontaneous
sex.
An industry-funded Galaxy poll of 800 Australians released at
the launch found 74 per cent of men rated spontaneity an important
part of sex.
Almost 90 per cent of Aussie women said they preferred
spontaneous sex over planned intimacy - a good insight for men, as
the survey showed that taking advantage of unscheduled
opportunities increases their chances of having sex.
About two million Australian men suffer ED, a problem triggered
by blood vessel constriction or a blockage limiting penis blood
flow.
Erection drugs work by targeting an enzyme to amplify blood flow
to the penis.
Brisbane-based medical sex therapist Dr Jane Howard welcomed the
once-a-day formulation and said trials had indicated efficacy and
safety was in line with the on-demand formula.
The most common side-effects of both products include upset
stomach, back pain, muscle ache, flushing and nasal congestion.
AAP April 29, 2008 http://www.smh.com.au
Age, Sex, Location: Why single men have an easier shot at getting laid
Apparently meeting and picking up women is a difficult, arduous, often embarrassing, unrelenting, highly risky task. According to American blokes Ron Louis and David Copeland, who wrote the definitive guide on the subject titled How To Succeed With Women, it's so difficult that hoping to meet a woman is like "hoping your apartment will get clean, but not cleaning it". Yikes.
Yet struggling single men listen up: you don't need to give up all hope just yet. Especially if the study Sex in America: A Definitive Survey is anything to go by, because apparently it's actually easier for men to find a date than it is for women.
Just think about how extremely normal it is for men to go out on the prowl alone to approach women, offer them drinks, attempt a snog, get rejected and move onto the next femme quicker than you can order the next round of cocktails! Yet take a woman, put her in the same situation and she'll immediately be branded as a desperate, slutty, wedding-ring chasing Bridget Jones. Not that fair, is it?
So do men really have the upper hand when it comes to the dating game? ...
"Absolutely!" marvels one single man (who doesn't want to be named), who seems to be feeling the dating prowess power more than ever before. "Women are falling over us everywhere we look because they think there's a shortage of us. Whether it's the fact that they're desperate to get married, have kids or simply have someone to belong to, they all want a man to nestle into at night."
But not all men agree. The other night at a hip nightclub for a mate's birthday, one gent fastidiously complained of the difficulties modern men face when it comes to finding a long-term date.
"It's so difficult to pick up because all the women have heard all the lines before," he tells me after discovering I'm a dating columnist. "Our dream as men is for a woman to ask us out, and it only happens once in a lifetime. I dream about that time."
When I ask him what his tactics are, his face lightens up. "Well I've read this amazing book which teaches these awesome moves," he smiles cheekily.
"The Game?" I ask, rolling my eyes.
"Yes! How did you know?" he asks, shocked that I'm one step ahead. And yet despite discovering this little tidbit about me, proceeds to use the lines straight from the book anyway.
"So can I ask a woman's opinion on something ...."
Sadly, it seems that good ol' book has made every club-hopping man into an exact pick-up artist clone of the inimitable Neil Strauss as they attempt to mirror his pick-up artistry success. Yet considering it only works with a cold approach, then they might as well give up now because the Sex in America survey also stated that picking up in a club or pub only works for a paltry 2 per cent of the single male population! (Of course the stakes change the later it gets as it becomes easier it is to meet women thanks to the "beer goggles" effect.)
So why then does the survey reckon it's easier for men to pick-up than it is for women?
"Perhaps it's because they try harder than us," muses my perpetually single friend Wendy. "I see them in my yoga class doing the Sirshasana and winking at the girl next to them. I see them in the underwear sections of department stores asking for advice for presents for their mums. And I see them walking their dogs in the park. It's swoonworthy!"
And indeed she might have a point. If we go by the theories of authors Louis and Copeland, then men are being advised to roam books stores, fumble their way through cooking classes and attend church all in the name of meeting women. (Apparently women who pray like to have "sex like bunnies".)
Then there's the age thing.
While older men seem to have the gamut of women to pick from, (anything from 18 upwards to their own age and even a few years above is usually acceptable for most), for women it's a little harder. The older we get, the more we're restricted we are of our choices of men. As my single builder friend Freddy tells me, "Even if you're young, we'll always be looking over our shoulder for someone younger." Ouch.
Yet at 42, Freddy admits that anything under 25 is too young in his books. "Dating someone half my age seems like such a cliche, although women that age do hit on me once in a while."
But ladies, don't give up trying altogether just yet because there's also good news for us gals, although maybe not in the pick-up department.
The BBC news reports on a study that found that single women do less housework than those in a relationship. That's because once a couple begins to live together, the hours men spend on housework decline, while the mess continues to climb. So while coupled-up women spend 15 hours a week on chores, single chicks only spend 10.
Single women also own more of their own homes and according to McGrath Estate Agents principal John McGrath who spoke to Domain.com.au, while single women made up 4 to 5 per cent of buyers a decade ago, "today, in some areas, they make up to 25 per cent of buyers".
Perhaps all that's left is the need to get up the courage to ask the men out ourselves ...
Is it harder for men or women to date and pick-up? What's your age limit both older and younger? Should women ask men out? And where's the best place to pick-up?
Samantha Brett April 29, 2008
http://blogs.smh.com.au/
7 Reasons Your Boss Should Send You to Sex Conferences
When it comes to technology, it's the great unfulfilled needs that matter most. That's where the next fortunes will be made. But if you're in the tech biz, how do you know what users want if you're hanging out with techies all the time?
You turn to sex. Here are seven reasons why your tech company should send you to sex conferences like Sex 2.0, Arse Elektronica and Sex in Video Games rather than to mainstream events like this week's Web 2.0 Expo.
1. You'll learn what people do with tech in private.
Even if your company springs for usability testing and focus groups, people aren't going to admit what they do when they think no one's watching. My friend who put an extra monitor in her office so she could dedicate one screen just to Facebook isn't going to reveal at a technology summit what she does with it at night. At a sex conference, however, that personal information can become a bona fide user case study.
2. Tech adapted for sex has applications outside the bedroom.
A tech conference exposes you to ideas people have already had. A sex conference exposes you to people who aren't afraid to ask for what they want, no matter how technically improbable it seems. You can use your tech-savvy brain to adapt these desires for general usage and present them to your boss. Meanwhile, you can create a sex-specific application on the side, knowing you have a willing user base waiting breathlessly for your next release.
3. Social-media platforms are built for sex.
If an application becomes crucial to lovers, they will have no problem coming up with genuine reasons to integrate that tool into their work flow. And once corporate users are on board, the paper millions are just an IPO away.
4. Young people -- your future customers -- do it with tech.
There's money in bridging old-school romance with new media, and the sex-positive community knows how to make that leap better than anyone. When today's youth get out of school, they're going to remake the world the way they want it -- and that means tech will be an essential ingredient in courtship, romance and sex. It's so essential to young people's communication now that they don't even realize they're doing it. And this is at a time when they're still spending most of their time surrounded by their peers. Just wait until they're out of school and in the workforce.
5. Sex bloggers reveal more than other people. A lot more.
Users in focus groups don't always possess the communication skills to get their true messages across. They also don't know what they don't know. Sex bloggers, on the other hand, are happy to communicate their needs, in minute detail, to someone they believe can satisfy them. Buy them a drink after-hours and you're in for something more fulfilling than the most comprehensive requirements-gathering meeting ever.
6. Sex conferences are tech conferences.
Until recently, sex conventions fell into two basic categories: medicinal/clinical and pornographic. Now, social-media pioneers are creating smaller, targeted gatherings that treat sexuality and technology as inseparable. Five years from now, this won't be shocking. And the gatherings won't be that small, either. Not that size matters.
7. Sex conferences happen in 3-D fantasy worlds made manifest.
Many of the most exciting exchanges happen after-hours at tech conferences. But more and more, organizers are holding serious sex-tech conferences in adults-only venues like swinger clubs and BDSM playgrounds. Observing how people interact professionally and personally in these spaces gives rise to many ideas for making your virtual environment stickier. Virtual world entrepreneurs know that whiz-bang wares can bring people in, but only relationships can entice them to come regularly.
Bonus reason: You might have a sexual experience of your own.
Granted, this reason isn't likely to go over well if you include it on the list of why your boss should approve your trip to a sex expo. While people who go to sex conferences can't be written off as a bunch of perverts who invent tax-deductible reasons to get together for wild orgies, we all know that going too long without a loving touch is a drag. It makes us too irritable, tense and depressed to perform our best on the job. Isn't that the major criticism of tech-mediated relationships, high-tech jobs and constant connectivity -- that we lose touch? Personal interaction is key to building a Web 3.0 we can all be proud of.
See you at the next sex conference,
Regina Lynn
April 25, 2008
http://www.wired.com
Mother's diet can help determine sex of child: study
PARIS (AFP) — Oysters may excite the libido, but there is nothing like a hearty breakfast laced with sugar to boost a woman's chances of conceiving a son, according to a study released Wednesday.
Likewise, a low-energy diet that skimps on calories, minerals and nutrients is more likely to yield a female of the human species, says the study, published in Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, Britain's de facto academy of sciences.
Fiona Mathews of the University of Exeter in Britain and colleagues wanted to find out if a woman's diet has an impact on the sex of her offspring.
So they asked 740 first-time mothers who did not know if their unborn foetuses were male or female to provide detailed records of eating habits before and after they became pregnant. The women were split into three groups according to the number calories they consumed per day around the time of conception.
Fifty-six percent of the women in the group with the highest energy intake had sons, compared to 45 percent in the least-well fed cohort.
Beside racking up a higher calorie count, the group who produced more males were also more likely to have eaten a wider range of nutrients, including potassium, calcium and vitamins C, E and B12.
The odds of an XY, or male outcome to a pregnancy also went up sharply "for women who consumed at least one bowl of breakfast cereal daily compared with those who ate less than or equal to one bowl of week," the study reported.
These surprising findings are consistent with a very gradual shift in favor of girls over the last four decades in the sex ratio of newborns, according to the researchers.
Previous research has shown -- despite the rising epidemic in obesity -- a reduction in the average energy uptake in advanced economies. The number of adults who skip breakfast has also increased substantially.
"This research may help to explain why in developed countries, where many young women choose low calorie diets, the proportion of boys is falling," Mathews said.
The study's findings, she added, could point to a "natural mechanism" for gender selection.
The link between a rich diet and male children may have an evolutionary explanation.
For most species, the number of offspring a male can father exceeds the number a female can give birth to. But only if conditions are favourable -- poor quality male specimens may fail to breed at all, whereas females reproduce more consistently.
"If a mother has plentiful resources, then it can make sense to invest in producing a son because he is likely to produce more grandchildren than would a daughter," thus contributing to the survival of the species, explains Mathews.
"However, in leaner times having a daughter is a safer bet."
While the mechanism is not yet understood, it is known from in vitro fertilisation research that higher levels of glucose, or sugar, encourage the growth and development of male embryos while inhibiting female embryos.
April 24, 2008
Oslo offers best price for sex
The average price for a "number" in Oslo is NOK 500 (USD 100), compared to NOK 160 in Germany, which is considered an attractive land for pimps and prostitutes from the EU.
According to newspaper Aftenposten's sources, Norwegian customers are willing to pay far more for sex than those in other European cities.
Norway's welfare system and its buying power have given it the reputation as Europe's most attractive prostitution market.
Women from Bulgaria have become the largest-growing group of prostitutes in Oslo, reports Aftenposten, mostly from "Romani" (or "Gypsy") families.
The Bulgarian invasion began after Norwegians discovered Bulgaria as a place to go on vacation, starting from about 2003, says Aftenposten.
But although the prices are high in Oslo, they have been pressed down in recent years because of the flow of foreign women into the market.
Meanwhile, the Norwegian government has put forth a plan to make purchase of sexual services illegal in Norway, as well as in other countries.
The proposal has not yet been made into law, but it has a majority support in the parliament.
"People are not commodities," said Justice Minister Knut Storberget, "and criminalizing the purchase of sexual services will make it less attractive for people-traders to look towards Norway."
April 23, 2008
http://www.aftenposten.no
Britain to keep tabs on sex lives of citizens
LONDON: The Brown administration's 'big brother' policy has reached Orwellian proportions with privacy a thing of the past for Britons.
Following it's biometric ID cards, surveillance cameras and national DNA database, the government will now snoop on the sex life of its citizens with probing questions about promiscuity and contraception.
British government inspectors are to pry into the intimate details of more than 500,000 people a year, asking a series of probing questions about their sex lives and earnings, according to Daily Mail. Snooping officials will want to know about previous sexual partners, contraception, and how long couples lived together before marriage.
The 2,000-question survey from office for national statistics will raise major concerns about privacy -especially as data will be with respondents' names and addresses.
Some of the questions seem remarkably insensitive. One asks: "Have you ever had a baby - even one who only lived for a short time?" Interviewers are told starkly: "Exclude: Any stillborn; Include: Any who only lived for a short time." Civil servants claim the sensitive personal information will be made anonymous once it is processed at the department's headquarters in Newport, South Wales.
Investigators conducting the survey - at a cost of more than £3.5million a year - will visit 200,000 homes at random each year and question each occupant - about 500,000 individuals altogether. They have questions on contraception alone, such as whether men have had vasectomies and brands of pill women take.
April 22, 2008 http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com
Does your face talk about sex?
Men, beware!
For a woman, one look is enough to make out whether you’re wooing her just for a one-night stand or marriage.
Researchers at the Durham University have carried out a study and found that a person’s attitude to sex are written all over the face – in fact, the clues lie in the shape of the jaw, the size of the nose and the shape of the eyes.
According to the study’s lead author Lynda Boothroyd, “It’s possible to judge someone’s sexual strategy simply from looking at their face. This shows these initial impressions may be part of how we assess potential mates – or potential rivals – when we first meet them.”
The researchers came to the conclusion after surveying 700 men and women in their early 20s. The participants were all asked to look at photographs of the opposite sex and judge how attractive they’re and what their attitudes to sex might be.
The answers were compared with the real-life behaviour and attitudes of the people in the images. The researchers found that instant perceptions not only had a role in people’s selection of partners, but that their interpretation of faces was more often right than wrong when determining the attitude towards one-night stands.
21 Apr 2008
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/
Not only can women have sex like men, they can buy sex like men
What to make of reports from Kenya that
more and more (old, rich, white) women are traveling to the country
solely to cavort with (young, poor, black) locals?
According to Reuters
— which follows two white English women, aged 56 and 64, as they troll
for “big young boys who like us older girls” — the country’s tourism
board isn’t pleased with the “unwholesome” situation, wherein women
exchange gifts for sex. Officials stopped short of condemning it in the
way they have male sex tourism, however. And the women Reuters
interviews seem to see it as a far lesser crime — comparing it to
ordinary courtship rituals like a man buying his female date dinner.
It’s certainly not so tame, despite sugar-coated terms for the trade
like “romance tourism” and a slew of films that neuter the sexual
fantasies and fetishes which many female pleasure-seekers want to
fulfill. Before “How Stella Got Her Groove Back” there was “Shirley Valentine,”
a British housewife bored of preparing her husband’s meals, who wins a
vacation and finds her groove with a Greek man. Even the gritty,
straightforward “Vers le Sud” — featuring the ever-experimental Charlotte Rampling — explores what happens when the female sex tourist feels romantic and even falls in love.
Responses to the female sex tourism trend vary from disgust to vague unease.
No one’s willing to make this out as a victory for feminism, even if
it’s a case of women acknowledging sexual desires and having purses of their own to gratify them. (Heidi Fleiss would be proud, and possibly annoyed that her future clientele can find the
frisson they seek for cheap overseas.) And it's older women at that—not the ones who are usually chided for "having sex like men."
I’m going to put my vote in the “vague unease” camp. The acts can be considered consensual or, at worst, mutually exploitative. Establishing consent is a bit easier here than where men are concerned, as Catherine Price noted
on Salon, since a female purchaser is unlikely to have the physical
power of a man, and can’t dominate or abuse her escort. (In any case,
danger is probably a desired part of the female sex tourism package.)
But mostly I’m uneasy because the United Nations links
the sex tourist trade—mostly male, but also female — to severe child
exploitation of both boys and girls in Kenya. Also, prostitution is
illegal in Kenya — though, as one Kenyan official notes, unofficial
exchanges of hotel stays and meals for compliments and sex may not
qualify. Then there’s the reluctance to use condoms despite Kenya’s
6.9% AIDS rate.
And more abstractly, there’s the obvious racial fetishes sex tourism
perpetuates. Even Reuters wasn’t immune. The article says that one
solicited Kenyan male named Joseph resembled an “Olympic basketball
player.” (They all look alike, don’t they?) The story then describes a
dance club as filled with “Joseph look-alikes.” (Hey, they
do all look alike!)
April 18, 2008 http://opinion.latimes.com
When It Comes To Sex, Some Men Are From Mars, Others From Venus
A study by researchers at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex,
Gender, and Reproduction at Indiana University finds that men report a
variety of different experiences involving sexual desire and arousal.
Men participating in focus groups expressed a range of experiences
and feelings relating to such matters as the relationship between
erections and desire, the importance of scent and relationships, and a
woman's intelligence. The Kinsey Institute study, appearing in the
April issue of the journal "Archives of Sexual Behavior," is unique
because few studies so far have examined how closely the findings of
decades of laboratory studies on sex actually reflect the experiences
of men.
"We have a lot of assumptions about how men think and feel and
behave sexually," said Erick Janssen, associate scientist at the Kinsey
Institute. "We use all kinds of methods to measure men's sexual
responses; in addition, we use questionnaires and surveys to ask about
sexual behaviors. It's less common to sit down with men and ask them to
talk about their experiences."
The focus groups involved 50 men divided into three groups based on
their age (18-24 years, 25-45 years and 46 and older). Below are some
examples of the different experiences reported by the men:
Some factors, such as depression or a risk of being
caught having sex, were reported by some men as inhibiting sex, while
other men found that they can enhance their desire and arousal.
An
erection is not the main cue for men to know they are sexually aroused.
Most of the men responded that they can experience erections without
feeling aroused or interested, leading researchers to suggest that
erections are not good criteria for determining sexual arousal in men.
Many
men found it difficult to distinguish between sexual desire and sexual
arousal, a distinction prominent in most sexual response models used by
researchers and clinicians.
The changes in the quality of
older men's erections had a direct effect on their sexual encounters,
including, for some, a shifting focus to the partner and her sexual
enjoyment. Older men also consistently mentioned that as they aged,
they became more careful and particular in choosing sexual partners.
The
sexual history of women also mattered to the men -- but differently for
different age groups. Sexually experienced women were considered more
threatening by younger men, who had concerns about "measuring up," but
such women were considered more arousing for older men.
Janssen and his colleagues at the Kinsey Institute have been working
for more than 10 years on a theoretical model that focuses on sexual
excitation and sexual inhibition. They refer to this as the dual
control model of sexual response. It holds that separate and relatively
independent activating and suppressing sexual systems exist within the
central nervous system and that the balance between these two systems
determines a person's sexual response in any particular situation.
Janssen relates this to the gas and break pedals in a vehicle -- both
can influence a car's behavior (you can slow down by letting go of the
gas or by pressing the brake) but they do so in different ways.
This model is used around the world by sex researchers in studies on
topics as varied as sexual dysfunction and sexual risk taking. To
measure the propensity for sexual excitation and inhibition, the
researchers designed a questionnaire.
The original questionnaire was developed for men, leading
researchers at the Kinsey Institute to conduct focus groups with women
in an effort to create a similar questionnaire that would be more
relevant for women. Janssen said the success of women's focus groups
led him and his colleagues to conduct the focus groups with men.
The findings of this latest study ultimately could lead to a more
effective questionnaire for the dual control model but also can inform
research efforts to better understand the variability in sexual
behavior.
"One of the main conclusions of the focus group study is that, just
like women, men are different," Janssen said. "Sex researchers tend to
focus a lot on differences between men and women, while not giving as
much attention to the differences that exist among men, and women. This
research is part of a larger agenda at the Kinsey Institute of looking
at individual differences. This dates back to Alfred Kinsey's original
research, but in our current research we not only try to capture the
variations in men and women's sexual experiences -- we also try to
understand better what explains variations in those experiences."
Co-authors of the study are Kimberly R. McBride, IU School of
Medicine; William Yarber, Department of Applied Health Science; Brandon
J. Hill, Department of Gender Studies; and Scott M. Butler, Georgia
College and State University.
Do our laws really protect kids, or are they misdirected reactions based on myths, misperceptions and stereotypes?
Most people reading this will remember when there were no public
sex-offender registries—no online portals where you can type in your
address and find out if a sex offender is living nearby or sign up to
receive an e-mail alert when one moves into your neighborhood. A decade
ago, there weren’t folks who memorized names and faces and went
door-to-door to let their neighbors know that a sex offender moved in
down the street—no one putting up fliers in apartment-building lobbies
and laundry rooms.
No sex-offender registry or neighborhood watch
would have kept a babysitter from molesting me when I was 6. He was
around 16 or 17, the brother of our regular babysitter who filled in
whenever his sister was busy. I don’t remember how many times it
happened, but I know it was more than once. Years later, I found out
that he molested my sister, who was 4, and my best friend, who lived
across the street.
At some point I told my mom what happened, but
I don’t know what words I used. At 6, “penis,” “vagina” and “sex”
weren’t part of my vocabulary. Whatever I said, my mom didn’t believe
me—at least that’s what she told me.
Looking back, I think she knew I was telling the truth, but she just didn’t know how to respond.
And
then I simply forgot that it ever happened—until my first serious
relationship in high school, when I had to admit to the guy that, in my
mind, the male penis was a diseased, disgusting thing. A year later I
ended up in counseling for severe anxiety and depression. There was a
box on a questionnaire asking if I’d ever been the victim of sexual
abuse, and that opened the door.
A couple of weeks ago, I threw
the babysitter’s name into a national sexual-offender registry. A match
came up, but the photo was a guy from Texas who happened to have the
same name. I doubt the babysitter went on to become a habitual child
molester—statistics suggest that he didn’t. I think it was a case of a
sexually confused teen who made a bad decision.
In nine out of 10
sexual assaults, the victim knows the perpetrator. In roughly 35 to 40
percent of those cases, it’s a relative. And if it’s not a relative,
it’s mom’s new boyfriend (one of the more common victim-offender
relationships) or, as in my case, a babysitter.
“The mythology of
the dirty old man in the trench coat with the candy lurking around kids
at a school yard is misplaced,” says San Diego County Public Defender
Marian Gaston. “The vast majority of sex offenders, they don’t look
like that…. It’s not this easily identifiable group of outsiders who
can then be cast away. It’s your sister’s new boyfriend; it’s your
stepdad.”
The term “sex offender” conjures the kind of monolithic
image Gaston refers to—one that’s reinforced by the news media and
tough-on-crime politicians, despite evidence to the contrary.
Misperception and fear, rather than good empirical research, seem to be
what drives sex-offender laws.
A case in point is a new law that takes effect this week in San Diego.
The
“Child Protection” ordinance, passed unanimously by the City Council in
March, is a spin-off of California’s Jessica’s Law, approved by voters
in 2006. Among other things, Jessica’s Law created mandatory sentences
for sex offenders, requires that certain sex offenders be outfitted
with Global Positioning System (GPS) devices for life and expanded the
list of what constitutes a sexual offense. Most controversial are the
2,000-foot-radius “predator-free zones” the law established around
schools and parks in which sex offenders who are paroled after Nov. 7,
2006, are forbidden to live (for a look at how this maps out in San
Diego County, click here).
The
law was named after Jessica Lunsford, a 9-year-old Florida girl who was
abducted from her home, raped and killed in 2005 by John Couey, a
registered sex offender who lived about 100 yards from the Lunsfords.
Couey abducted Jessica by entering the home at night through an
unlocked door.
Four unnamed plaintiffs—two from San Diego
County—are challenging Jessica’s Law before the state Supreme Court,
arguing that the law’s residency restrictions are too broad. None of
the four’s crimes involved children.
Despite the court challenge,
San Diego went ahead and added more locations to the list of safe
zones: city libraries, city parks, amusement parks (SeaWorld, the zoo),
video arcades, licensed daycare facilities and businesses that cater to
children, like Chuck E. Cheese. (The map factors in only schools and parks.)
Additionally,
the San Diego law creates “presence” restrictions that forbid
registered sex offenders from being within 300 feet of any of the above
locations. While the city’s enhanced residence restrictions apply only
to people who commit a sexual offense after the law takes effect, the
300-foot restriction applies to all registered sex offenders.
Sgt.
Mark Sullivan, who supervises the San Diego Police Department’s Sex
Offender Registration Unit, said enforcement of the presence
restriction would likely be complaint-driven.
“We used to get
complaints from mothers that would take their kids to the park and say,
‘There’s a weird guy staring at my kids,’ and they’d call the police,
the police would show up [and] realize they’re talking to a sex
offender,” Sullivan said, “but there was no law that would allow an
officer to tell him to leave.”
Now, under the new city law, the individual could be arrested, he said.
Unlike
Jessica’s Law, which has no defined punishment for anyone who violates
the residence restriction (unless the person’s on parole and, in that
case, it’s a parole violation), San Diego’s ordinance makes it a
misdemeanor criminal offense, punishable by up to six months in jail.
At
the meeting where the City Council voted to implement the law, only one
person spoke in opposition. Laura Arnold, a public defender, presented
each council member with a 10-page memo that summarized what a number
of studies have found: Restricting where a sex offender lives has no
influence on whether or not he’ll commit another crime. In fact, Arnold
told the City Council, research has found that such restrictions can be
counterproductive, pushing sex offenders into low-income communities
and rural areas or, worse, onto the street.
In 2006, the
California Coalition Against Sexual Assault, an umbrella group for 84
rape crisis centers and sexual-assault prevention programs, issued a
strongly worded position statement opposing Jessica’s Law: “Residency
restrictions… don’t make communities safer. Residency restrictions
don’t reduce recidivism, don’t improve supervision of offenders and
ultimately do not protect children from sex offenders.”
And,
according to a study by the Minnesota Department of Corrections that
looked specifically at repeat offenders, it really does come down to
relationships and not geography: “What matters with respect to sexual
recidivism is not residential proximity, but rather social or
relationship proximity.”
In 2006, the year before Jessica’s Law
went into effect, 2,000 sex offenders registered as transient with
their local police agencies. According to recent numbers from the
state, 3,140 sex offenders have registered as transient—a 63-percent
increase in less than two years. In San Diego, roughly 200 of
approximately 1,880 registerd sex offenders have declared themselves
homeless.
Sex offenders with permanent addresses are required
to register annually or when they move, but transient registrants must
check in with the police department every 30 days and provide officers
with a general idea of where to find them, Sullivan said.
“They’ve
made it very difficult for this population to find housing,” said Steve
Kubicek, supervisor of adult parole operations for San Diego County.
“With the city, now you’re adding [more locations]. It’s almost as if
they’re purging the city of all registrants.”
Transient
registrants, Kubicek pointed out, are more likely to commit other
crimes. “We may see an increase in drug use when they go on the
streets,” he said.
“Jessica’s Law was passed hurriedly in an
election year,” he added. “And here we are in an election year.... I
think [lawmakers’] intent was absolutely valid, but I think [the city
law] was passed prior to evaluating the impact of the residency
restriction.”
In Iowa, where a similar 2,000-foot rule has been
in place since 2002, the Iowa County Prosecutors Association and more
than three-dozen local governments have demanded that the state’s
legislature repeal the residence restriction because of the number of
offenders who’ve gone underground. And in Miami-Dade County, a reporter
for the weekly Miami New Times discovered roughly 30 men living under a
freeway overpass, the only place they could legally reside from 10 p.m.
to 6 a.m. or risk violating probation or parole.
There are
other consequences of residency restrictions. Laura Arnold recently had
to find a way around the law to get a client into a drug treatment
facility that was too close to a school. The client, a former
prostitute, is a registered sex offender because she once said “Show me
your dick” to a vice cop. “Counseling” a person to expose himself is a
sex crime.
Unlike most new laws the City Council enacts, this one
got very little discussion; council members talked in general terms
about needing to protect children, and Councilmember Ben Hueso talked
about how a similar National City ordinance was pushing sex offenders
into his district and so the city needed to push back. There was no
factual evidence presented to the public as to why the ordinance was
needed.
Not only does the ordinance lack any clear reason for
being, but also, as written, it contains wrong information,
specifically a portion included in the “whereas” statements that lead
off the document:
“According to a 1998 report by the U.S.
Department of Justice, sex offenders are the least likely to be cured
and the most likely to re-offend and prey on the most innocent members
of our society, and more than two-thirds of victims of rape and sexual
assault are under the age of 18 and sex offenders have a higher
recidivism rate for their crimes than any other type of violent felon.”
No
such study exists. The information, rather, comes from a talk given by
Florence Shapiro, a senator from Texas, at a 1998 conference organized
by the Department of Justice. Shapiro was there to discuss “Ashley’s
Law,” her overhaul of Texas’ sex-offender rules, prompted by the highly
publicized death of Ashley Estell, a 7-year-old who, in 1993, was
abducted from a playground and later found strangled. A man named
Michael Blair, who’d helped search for the girl, was convicted and
sentenced to death for her murder. Though an autopsy found no
indication that Ashley had been sexually abused, Shapiro stuck with the
story that the girl had been raped, and that’s what she told the
audience who gathered for the conference. Blair, 23 years old at the
time of the trial and already a convicted child molester, damned
himself by telling the jury that he saw nothing wrong with consensual
sex with underage girls. (Blair’s conviction is currently on appeal
since repeated DNA tests of physical evidence suggest there were two
men involved, neither of them Blair.)
Because Blair had served a
shortened sentence for a child-molestation case, he became Shapiro’s
poster sex offender—if he’d remained in prison, she argued, Ashley
would still be alive.
“Sex offenders are a very unique type of
criminal,” Shapiro told conference attendees. “I like to say they have
three very unique characteristics: They are the least likely to be
cured; they are the most likely to re-offend; and they prey on the most
innocent members of our society.”
Those words—attributed to a
“U.S. Department of Justice study”—have made their way into various
pieces of sex-offender legislation, like Jessica’s Law and San Diego’s
new ordinance, even though the DOJ included a disclaimer along with the
transcript of the conference, saying the contents “do not necessarily
reflect the views and policies of the U.S. Department of Justice.”
One
part of the statement is true—more than two-thirds of victims of rape
and sexual assault are under 18. But the rest of the information isn’t
accurate. A number of studies, including two by the Department of
Justice (one released in 1997, another in 2003), have found that sex
offenders have a much lower recidivism rate than any other type of
criminal. According to the 1997 DOJ report, for which researchers
tracked 272,111 parolees for three years, only 5.3 percent of the 9,691
sex offenders in the group were rearrested for another sex crime. As
for the non-sex-offender cohort, 68 percent were rearrested. Other
studies have found higher rates of recidivism among sex offenders—14
percent, on average, and as high as 26 percent—but still lower than for
other criminals.
Parole’s Kubicek said his own experience
confirms what the studies have found. “It’s very low for us for a new
sex offense,” he said.
As the state’s Sex Offender Management
Board put it, in its 219-page analysis of California’s sex-offender
laws, released in January, “Statements that sex offenders cannot be
‘cured’—a concept generally accepted by experts in this field—have
often been misinterpreted to mean that they will inevitably re-offend.
In fact, the majority of sex offenders do not re-offend sexually over
time.”
Ultimately, though, debates about recidivism mean little
when it comes to the population most affected by sexual assault. As
Phyllis Shess, the deputy district attorney who heads the DA’s sex
offender unit, pointed out, “You have to ask, is 1 percent [recidivism]
acceptable? Is 10 percent acceptable? When you’re talking about these
kinds of issues, no it isn’t.”
So what’s the answer? Jessica’s
Law mandated that all “high-risk” felony sex offenders must wear a GPS
device for life, so that their movement can be monitored by law
enforcement. The California Department of Corrections and
Rehabilitation began outfitting all newly paroled sex
offenders—regardless of risk level— with some form of GPS device
beginning last July.
In December, California was spending $21,000
a day on GPS monitoring, which comes out to $20 million a year. The
state’s Legislative Analyst’s office estimated that within 10 years,
the cost for GPS monitoring could grow to $100 million annually and
continue to increase. Right now local governments are expected to pick
up the cost after a person completes parole, an idea that no
municipality has yet embraced.
While some studies have found that
GPS-monitored offenders have lower recidivism rates, pilot-programs in
San Diego and Tennessee found no significant difference between
GPS-monitored sex offenders and those not on GPS. It’s not necessarily
going to stop someone who’s dead-set on reoffending “It’s GPS, it’s not
real-time; you’re not going to get the information until the following
day.”
If anything, it stops an offender from absconding, though
the device can just as easily be cut off. The Tennessee Department of
Corrections warned that GPS devices are a resource drain when used too
broadly and shouldn’t be used for life-long monitoring. Successful
rehabilitation requires that an offender be given a goal to work
toward, the study found.
At a community forum on San Diego’s
Child Protection ordinance, Al Killen-Harvey, supervisor in the trauma
counseling program at Rady Children’s Hospital, questioned whether GPS
devices were the best use of limited resources:
“We only have so
much money, and that money’s now gone to looking at these kinds of
tracking devices. We’ve wiped out early prevention and education
programs that we used to have 15 and 20 years ago where we taught kids
about healthy touch and bad touch and how to report it. We’ve wiped out
funding for mental-health services for families that are economically
distressed, which is a factor that may lead someone to cross a boundary
that they wouldn’t have crossed before.
“In the macro sense,
yeah, we’ve missed the mark here and we’re allocating way too much
money in an area where the bang for the buck is minimal compared to
where the real risk level is,” Killen-Harvey said.
His point on
prevention is an important one. Eighty-seven percent of sex crimes
committed each year are first-time offenses by people who aren’t
already known to the police. It’s a statistic that turns public policy
on its head—why put all the attention on the guys we already know
about?
“There are agencies out there that have demonstrated
that if you do a good public health, public awareness campaign,
including a [hotline for] people who are afraid they might hurt a
child… you can actually reduce the incidence of sexual assault in your
community,” said Marian Gaston, the public defender. “Why wouldn’t we
spend money on that? And instead, we’re busy spending how many millions
of dollars on GPS for people who are in their 60s and who are
statistically just not going to do it again.”
Then there’s the
issue of treatment. The public’s perception is that treatment doesn’t
work—a sex offender is a sex offender for life. But not everyone who
molests a child fits the clinical definition of a pedophile, for one
thing—sometimes other self-destructive factors drive behavior, like
drug addiction. Recent studies have shown that, for repeat offenders,
therapy does, in fact, lead to lower recidivism rates. California,
however, is one of the few states that don’t offer in-custody
treatment; only once a person’s released from custody is treatment
mandated. It’s puzzling, given that Jessica’s Law is putting people
behind bars longer.
The California Department of Corrections and
Rehabilitation has plans to build a new locked treatment facility for
sex offenders, but, as the state’s Sex Offender Management Board
pointed out in its January report, nothing’s moved beyond the planning
stage. Anyone who falls into the category of “sexually violent
predator,” based on a pre-release assessment, is turned over to one of
two state mental hospitals, rather than paroled, where the individual
goes through a multi-phase treatment program, is reassessed and then,
if he’s found by a judge to be stable enough, released back into the
community.
Once someone’s off probation or parole, treatment ends
and it’s rare that those who need it will seek it voluntarily, said
Shess, the deputy district attorney.
“We did an experiment
through the [county’s] Sexual Offender Management Council, offering
resources to people who felt like stresses—whatever it was in their
life that might be putting them in a situation where they might
re-offend—and no one took advantage of it.” The counseling wasn’t free,
but it would have been low-cost, Shess said. And, even then, the county
would have made arrangements for someone who couldn’t afford to pay.
“We didn’t even get that far. Nobody called to say, ‘Hey I’m a prior
offender, I’m feeling like I might need help—no one.”
Around 90
percent of sex offenders aren’t under state or county supervision,
Kubicek noted. “The 10 percent that are on parole are receiving the
best supervision available,” he said. “My concern is, how do we enforce
the 90 percent who are receiving no supervision, who are just
registering?”
One might assume that when a sex offender goes in
to register with the police each year (or, each month if he’s a
transient), there might be a brief talk with a counselor or some other
kind of assessment that happens. But, aside from an initial assessment
when an individual first registers, there’s not much follow-up. The
city of San Diego has only five officers dedicated to the
sexual-assault unit (which includes sex-offender management): one
sergeant (Mark Sullivan), two detectives and two code-compliance
officers who staff the office where more than 100 people go to register
each week.
What if, rather than putting restrictions on where a
sex offender can live and move about town—strategies whose
effectiveness isn’t supported by evidence—the City Council pledged to
fund a risk-assessment counselor for the police department? Sure,
money’s short, but it’s hard to argue when it comes to protecting kids.
Hire an intake counselor or set up a hotline that someone like my mom
could call to find out how to respond when her kid says the
babysitter’s asking her to do things she doesn’t understand.
Another
thing to think about: It’s difficult to turn in a friend or relative
when you know that, unlike any other crime, this is one that will
follow the person around for the rest of his life. Would my mom have
turned the guy over to police if it meant a lifetime of public scrutiny
and, in essence, banishment?
Probably not.
April 15, 2008 Kelly Davis http://www.sdcitybeat.com/
You’ll Never See The Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape
Sometimes all a man wants to see is a dead blonde girl
commit sex acts on film - but what about when they’ve exhausted their
Anna Nicole Smith supply?
Well, then there’s always the
Marilyn Monroe sex
tape. You heard - there’s a Marilyn Monroe sex tape. A tape of Marilyn
Monroe gobbling on a man’s penis for 15 minutes. It really exists, but
don’t get too excited.
A private collector has just bought the Marilyn Monroe sex tape for
$1.5 million, and he’s sworn to keep it from the public in order to
protect the dignity of Marilyn Monroe. Well, that and to masturbate
himself scabby over the Marilyn Monroe sex tape 12 times a day for the
rest of his life knowing that he’s the only one who knows what Marilyn
Monroe looks like when she does blowjobs.
That’s it - this is the end of the world. We believe it was
Nostradamus who said ‘all will be well when Lindsay Lohan copies Marilyn Monroe, but when Marilyn Monroe copies Lindsay Lohan we’re all fucked.’
And that, friends, is exactly what’s happened. Just a couple of weeks after the Lindsay Lohan sex tape
leaked, Marilyn Monroe has got in on the act as well. Never mind that
she’s been dead for 46 years - if you want to see Marilyn Monroe shove
a bloke’s penis into her mouth and keep it there for 15 minutes, the
Marilyn Monroe sex tape means you can.
Except you can’t. Everyone knows that a Marilyn Monroe sex tape
would be the holy grail of celebrity sex tapes. More than that, in fact
- since the discovery of the Marilyn Monroe sex tape, the holy grail
has been papally downgraded to ‘the Marilyn Monroe sex tape of grails’
- but because of this, the man who yesterday bought the Marilyn Monroe
sex tape has promised to keep it private forever, as
Reuters reports:
A 15-minute film of Marilyn Monroe engaging in oral sex
with an unidentified man will be kept from public view by a New York
businessman who has bought it for $1.5 million, the broker of the deal
said on Monday. Memorabilia collector Keya Morgan said he recently
arranged the sale of the silent, black-and-white film from the son of a
dead FBI informant who possessed it to a wealthy Manhattan businessman
who wants to protect Monroe’s privacy. “The gentleman who bought it
said out respect for Marilyn he’s not going to make a joke of it and
put it on the Internet and try to exploit her.”
A good thing too, because who really wants to see one of the most
iconic women of all time giving a blowjob to a man on film? Oh that’s
right -
everyone. Everyone wants to see Marilyn Monroe debase her own mouth in a sex tape, and if anyone says they don’t they’re lying.
But it looks like it’ll never happen now. Not until he dies and his
heirs flog the video to the first website to turn up with a chequebook,
anyway. Only then will be able to see a creepy dead woman silently
fellate a man, and it can’t come a day too soon.
Of course, the real tragedy is that Marilyn Monroe died before this
sex tape got out. Then the possibilities would have been endless. Maybe
Marilyn Monroe would have been able to star in her own E! reality TV
show just like
Paris Hilton and
Pamela Anderson and
Kim Kardashian, who are all equally good at
filming
themselves having sex. But, alas, she died before she could sell out
her own life for a tawdry meaningless faux-documentary series. We don’t
think we’ll ever be able to cope with that.
On the plus side, though, the existence of a Marilyn Monroe sex tape will be great news for
Elton John, because it means he can bash out another lazy rewrite of
Candle In The Wind to commemorate it. We’ll start it off for him:
“It
seems to me, you lived your life like a candle in the wind/ and by
candle I obviously mean penis and by wind I mean some bloke’s gob/ you
dirty great cow.”
April 15, 2008
Stuart Heritage
http://www.hecklerspray.com/
Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape Sold for $1.5M
A steamy 15-minute sex tape of
Marilyn Monroe performing oral
sex on an unidentified man has been sold to a New York businessman for
$1.5 million. The long-buried sex film recently hit the market, a
memorabilia collector told the
New York Post.
The footage, which appears to have been shot in the 1950s before
Monroe became famous, first surfaced in the mid-'60s. Then-FBI Director
J. Edgar Hoover reportedly spent two weeks trying (unsuccessfully) to prove that Monroe's sex partner was either then-President
John F. Kennedy or his brother,
Robert F. Kennedy, according to
FBI documents.
In the silent black-and-white film, Monroe is on her knees in front of a man whose face is out of the shot, reports the
NYPost.
It appears he knew the camera was there, but Monroe never looks at the
lens. The feds eventually confiscated the original film, but an FBI
informant copied it, which is the footage that was just sold to the
unidentified NY businessman.
Newly declassified FBI documents state that an informant
"exhibited [to agents] a motion picture which depicted deceased actress
Marilyn Monroe committing a perverted act upon a unknown male."
FBI documents also indicate that former baseball star
Joe DiMaggio
(who was once married to Monroe) knew about the tape and had offered
[the informant] $25,000 for the film, but the informant refused the
offer.
"You see instantly that it's Marilyn Monroe - she has the famous
mole," according to an NYC memorabilia collector. "She's smiling, she's
very charming, she's very radiant, but she's known for being radiant,"
he said. "She moves away, and then it [the footage] stops."
Fortunately for Monroe, the tape will never see the light of day
if its new owner has any say in the matter. The wealthy New York
businessman reportedly wants to keep this unseemly part of Monroe's
past buried. He said: "I'm not going to make a
Paris Hilton out of her. I'm not going to sell it, out of respect."
If his intentions are genuine, the guy is a class act and a true
gentleman. If not, he's a total loser and douchebag, who's in the same
class as sleazebag porn-meister
Joe Francis and
Rick Salomon (who made and sold the Paris Hilton sex tape).
April 14, 2008 http://theimproper.com
Many regret having sex too young
Irish teenagers who have sexual intercourse before the age of 17 are
significantly less likely to use contraception the first time they have
sex, compared to those who wait until they are older, new research has
shown.
According to the findings from the Crisis Pregnancy
Agency (CPA), almost one-third of men and one in five women aged 18-24
had sex before the age of 17. Of these, almost 17% of men and 14.5% of
women had sex for the first time at the age of 16.
Among those
who had sex at 16, almost half (43%) of women and one in five (19%) men
expressed regret at the timing, saying that they ‘should have waited
longer’.
The research revealed that almost 15% of men and nearly
8% of women had sex for the first time before the age of 16. Of these,
37% of men and 59% of women said they regretted having sex for the
first time at such an early age.
“For those who had sex before
17, the research shows the impact of early first sex on the
individual’s later sexual health and suggests that some young people
are saying they are having sex at a time in their lives that is not
right for them. We need to equip young people with the knowledge and
skills they need to delay their first sexual experience”, explained CPA
chairperson, Katharine Bulbulia.
The research showed that those
who had sex before the age of 17 were half as likely to use
contraception the first time they had sex, compared to those who waited
until they were older.
The CPA also pointed to international
research, which indicates that the use of contraception at first sex
has a strong influence on subsequent behaviour. This explains why women
who have sexual intercourse before the age of 17 are almost 70% more
likely to experience a crisis pregnancy later in life and are three
times more likely to have an abortion, compared to those who wait until
they are older.
The research is based on three sub-reports of
the Irish Study of Sexual Health and Relationships, a survey which was
carried out in 2006. The sub-reports have just been published and
provide an in-depth analysis of that survey.
According to Ms
Bulbulia, the CPA is currently planning a campaign to encourage
adolescents to delay first sex, ‘which we hope to launch this year’
April 11, 2008 Deborah Condon http://www.irishhealth.com
Sex? It’s written ‘all over your face’
Your face exuberate subtle hints about your sexual preferences which
the opposite sex perceives to make a better partner choice, according
to a new research which gives deeper insight into mate attractiveness.
The
research published in Evolution and Human Behaviour is an insight into
how people can use their perceptions to make more informed partner
selection depending on the type of relationship they are pursuing and
is a significant step in further understanding the evolution of partner
choice, according to the research team from Durham, St Andrews
and Aberdeen Universities.
The
men who were most open to casual sex were generally perceived as being
more masculine-looking, with facial features including squarer jaws,
larger nose and smaller eyes, confirming that women see masculine men
as more likely to be unfaithful.
It also showed that women who
were open to short-term sexual relationships were usually seen by
others as more attractive, though not knowing why. Contrary to this,
women are usually all over men who are potential long-term relationship
material.
Men generally prefer women who they perceive are open
to short-term sexual relationships while women are usually interested
in men who appear to have potential to be long-term relationship
material.
Participants in the research were asked to judge the
attractiveness and attitudes to sex of the opposite sex from the
facial photographs of people in their early 20s. These perceptual
judgements were then compared with the actual attitudes and behaviours
of the individuals in the photographs.
It was found that the 72
per cent of the 153 participants (both sexes) could generally
correctly judge from photographs the potential suitor for short-term
relationship.
Lead author Dr Lynda Boothroyd from Durham University’s Psychology Department
said: “This shows that these initial impressions may be part of how we assess potential mates.”
April 9, 2008 http://www.dnaindia.com/
Fred Hosts Andelloux, Dominatrix and Foot Fetish Model
"Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Orgasms" was the theme of the
Erotic Justice event held at The Fred Pfelil Community Project last
Wednesday, April 2 , featuring special guest speaker Megan Andelloux.
The event was organized by Amanda Persad '10 for her "Sexual Labors in
the United States" course, with Stephanie Gilmore, Visiting Assistant
Professor of History and American Studies.
Persad summarized it best, saying, "[Andelloux] is helping to
strengthen the sexual movement. What she does stands for all of that."
Part of the course involves conducting an interview with a sex
worker, to be included as part of a bigger work, "an audio tribute," as
Persad put it, called "Voices of Sexual Labor," put together by
Gilmore. This is where Andelloux came in for Persad. Andelloux works as
a dominatrix and foot fetish model, as well as a gynecological teaching
associate. She also works at a feminist-run sex shop.
"I feel my mission in life is to bridge the gap between the medical
and the pleasure centric models of sexuality and I aim to do this in a
sex-positive and sassy, yet professional manner," she says on her Web
site, www.OhMegan.com.
"She is more than just what she does for a living," Persad said.
"She is an educator and very well-informed. People here have very
narrow views, and they should hear the stuff she has to say."
Andelloux echoed the statement: "We need to get people talking about
sexuality. I provide a safe space, so people can do that. It causes a
commotion, which is something a math class doesn't do, although sex is
just as important as math."
For her presentation, Andelloux was wearing a little black dress and
bright red heels, completing her signature look with square frame
glasses. According to Persad, this was actually Andelloux's fourth
visit to Trinity College. However, there was a sparser crowd than usual
at Andelloux's appearances - only a few dozen people were in attendance.
To start off the night, Andelloux began by showing a YouTube video
called "Dildo Diaries," a documentary-style clip about a woman who was
unable to buy the sex toy in Texas, as sex toys were illegal. (Very
recently, this law has changed; however, their sale is still illegal in
Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Mississippi South Carolina, and Tennessee.)
After hearing the audience's bewilderment, Andelloux said, "We're not
dealing with medical facts tonight; we're dealing with politics." She
emphasized the fact that everyone's civil liberties were slowly being
taken away, without anyone even realizing.
Andelloux made sure there was an ongoing discussion about all of the
topics she broached. "I'll start breaking out into hives if I'm the
only one talking," she warned.
After her introduction to the whole subject, Andelloux had all the
attendees draw two pictures: one of something general that disgusted
them, one of something sexual that disgusted them. She then asked for
the pictures to be taped to the wall, and for everyone to gather around
and discuss them. The pictures ranged from things like rotting garbage
and unflushed toilets to bestiality and anal sex. Her point was that
what some people find repulsive, others see as acceptable and even
turn-ons. She said, "Some of you are probably going to go home tonight
and think to yourself, 'Wow, I do that, and somebody thinks it's
gross.' Mull it over. You shouldn't feel like a bad person, but you
should think about it."
The interactiveness of Andelloux's presentation seemed very
effective. Also, her forthright manner with it all made what could have
been an uncomfortable, awkward conversation into something easy and
informative to take in, without being clinical or lecture-like.
The discussion moved then to the religious right and their attempts
at controlling and limiting what people can and cannot do in their
personal lives. She used many good examples of current cases and trials
that are going on in the courts today to illustrate what she was
saying. Andelloux also brought up activist judges, as well as such
organizations as the XXX Church, passing around a sample Bible that
they hand out at porn star conventions. She showcased a video on their
Web site called, "Save The Kittens," which declared that, "Every time
you masturbate, God kills a kitten." The conversation about these
topics was so captivating that it lasted for over two hours.
"I thought it was interesting," Daisy Ramos '10 said, "It was my
first time attending one of [Andelloux's] talks and it wasn't at all
what I thought it was going to be like. I was surprised at how open
everyone was to talking about subjects that are sometimes a little
uncomfortable to talk about. It was also another reminder of just how
much politics affects our daily activities."
Betsy Perez '10 agreed, "Events such as these are crucial to dispel
ignorance about sexual health. Furthermore, the information that
[Andelloux] provides dissolves the stigmas surrounding active sex lives
that should not at all be stigmatized."
This was Andelloux's second event at Trinity this year. She also
spoke during the Fall semester at a Fred event on the art of the female
orgasm.
April 8, 2008 Krystal Ramirez http://media.www.trinitytripod.com/
Male baboons just sex toys
Girls rule.
That's what wildlife biologist Chadden Hunter, one
of the featured researchers in the two-part PBS Nature documentary What
Females Want and Males Will Do, found after living for three years in
the Simien mountains of northern Ethiopia with a troop of gelada
baboons.
He found that the female baboons establish what, when,
where, why and how, where sex is concerned. Girls rule -- literally, as
it turned out: He watched as one group of four females chased a male
off a cliff, after irreconcilable differences reached a crisis point.
"The males, even though they're twice the size, are just sex toys," Hunter said, with a straight face.
What
Females Want and Males Will Do premieres tonight on PBS. Anyone
interested in baboon social psychology -- and that of other animals as
well -- will find their interests piqued.
Male gelada baboons,
Hunter says, have "amazing hairdos" and spend much of their day,
"poncing around, showing off like peacocks."
But when push comes
to shove, it's the women who end up on top, while the older males just
sit around, "do some housework, and look after the kids."
Hunter's
baboon study is just one aspect of What Females Want. The program also
focuses on the work of Yale University behavioural ecologist and duck
researcher Patricia Brennan, who, in the words of Nature
executive-producer Fred Kaufman, "has made groundbreaking discoveries
in her research of duck phalluses and how they've co-evolved with
female ducks' reproductive anatomy."
The program also profiles
the work of University of California-Davis field biologist Gail
Patricelli, a self-admitted "pornothologist" who uses remote-controlled
robots -- "grouse fembots" -- to study the signals birds send to each
other during courtship.
The idea was to show the many different ways sexual attraction manifests itself in the animal kingdom.
"When
you get some of the most amazing behaviour from these animals is when
they're trying to attract a mate," Hunter explained. "This one chance
you get to impress and one chance to get it off with the opposite sex
really is a fascinating part of biology."
Sex talk aside, parents needn't worry about What Females Want being inappropriate viewing, Nature's Kaufman insists.
TELEVISION
Nature: What Females Want and Males Will Do
When and where: Tonight at 8 on PBS
April 6, 2008 Alex Strachan http://www.canada.com
Sex offender drops suit vs. mom, McDonald’s
A
convicted serial rapist has dropped his lawsuit against a Tewksbury mom
and the McDonald’s that fired him after she called and complained about
his working around children.
Scott Gagnon, 50, who terrorized Essex County in the late 1970s
picking up hitchhikers and sexually assaulting them, brought the civil
action against Andrea Quinn, 44, and the New Hampshire-based Napoli
Group just last Monday.
Gagnon’s defense attorney William Korman would not say yesterday why the change of heart.
“I can’t comment other than to say the lawsuit’s been dismissed,” Korman said.
Though he insisted his employers knew he was a registered Level 3
sex offender, Gagnon lost his night job manning the grill at the
McDonald’s on Main Street in Tewksbury last month after Quinn found his
work address on the state’s Sex Offender Registry Board Web site and
called his bosses.
Peter Napoli, who owns the restaurant, told the Herald last week,
“It’s a company policy that we do not hire anyone convicted of a sex
offense.”
Yesterday, Quinn’s attorney, radio and TV personality Wendy Murphy,
vowed to represent for free anyone else who gets sued for doing what
Quinn did.
“The public should not be afraid of doing exactly what Andrea Quinn did. Andrea Quinn should be proud of herself,” said Murphy.
“Lawsuits that attempt to silence people are the ultimate
un-American act,” she said. “Isn’t this the country that prides itself
on being the best of the best when it comes to free speech?”
Quinn, said Murphy, is “tough. I have marveled at her capacity to stand tall.”
Gagnon served 27 years behind bars for pleading guilty to five
rapes. He told the Herald last week McDonald’s was the only business to
offer him work after months of filling out job applications.
April 7, 2008 Laurel J. Sweet http://www.bostonherald.com
Study gauges sex time
Penn State
researcher Eric Corty recently concluded that "desirable" sex usually
lasts between seven and 13 minutes on average, contrary to popular
belief.
Through surveys of 50 sex therapists from the Society for Sex
Therapy and Research, Corty, associate professor of psychology and
Jenay Guardiani, fellow Penn State Erie researcher, found ranges of
time to classify sexual intercourse as too short, adequate, desirable
or too long.
"I was curious as to how long was most pleasurable ... and I wanted
to relieve some anxiety that some Americans have about the duration of
intercourse," Corty said. "I found that some people have unrealistic
expectations about how long sexual intercourse should last."
According to the surveys, three to seven minutes is considered
"adequate," seven to 13 minutes is considered "desirable," one to two
minutes is considered "too short" and 10 to 30 minutes is considered
"too long."
"I think people who have really long sex don't have much substance
to their relationships," Brittney Barbieri (freshman-biobehavioral
health) said. "But seven to 13 minutes sounds about right -- get in,
get off, get out."
While this study may show the duration of sexual intercourse has
specific pleasurable ranges, biobehavioral health instructor Spring
Cooper says the range of time for an entire pleasurable sexual
experience could be significant.
"Intercourse is lasting that long -- not the whole sexual
interaction. That seven to 13 minute range is excluding kissing,
touching, fondling, etc.," she said.
Cooper said one thing to keep in mind is that the duration of intercourse should not be more important than pleasure.
"People do have to understand that it's just the intercourse that
he's talking about," Cooper said. "If people have a shorter sexual
interaction, they might think the sex is shorter, but it's more likely
that the entire interaction that was shorter."
Numerical values for the time ranges were judged by sex therapists
in a variety of ways, and it should be considered that the values are
averages, Corty said.
"These are people who've been in practice for years, so they've
talked to a lot of people, but they also keep up on research and
current studies," he said. "It's a combination of clinical experience,
contemporary research and education."
Corty hopes his research will relieve stress some may have about how
long their sex lasts, but Cooper feels such high expectations are
because of overestimating the time spent having intercourse by
including foreplay.
"People sometimes spend a lot of time on foreplay and then notice
that an hour's gone, but that doesn't mean the entire hour was
specifically intercourse," Cooper said. "If people knew how long they
were actually having sex, I don't think they'd be as stressed about the
pressure for intercourse to last."
Although encouraged by the publicity his findings have attracted,
Corty does not want his research to cause people to judge their sex
lives as abnormal.
"I'm pleased with how much publicity this is getting, but I do want
to be real careful when people discuss this because these are
averages," Corty said. "If the average shoe size in the United States
is a seven and your foot is a size eight, there's nothing wrong. It's
just different than average."
April 4, 2008 Allison Jackovitz http://www.collegian.psu.edu
Vibrator.com Airplane Ad Pulled in Texas
SOUTH PADRE ISLAND, Texas — A pink banner advertising adult products website Vibrator.com that had been flown over spring break destination South Padre Island has been grounded after complaints by residents.
"It's just a little community, and there are a lot of older folks
there," John from Houston-based National Sky Signs told XBIZ. "We flew
it a couple of times and the county asked me if I would not do it
anymore. It was an informal request. I said, 'Not a problem.' They
moved the banner to another place."
The banner is 25 feet high and 68 feet long, with the words “Got Toys?
Vibrator.com" alongside the company’s logo of a silhouetted woman.
"We felt that it's a great audience for us, spring breakers,"
Vibrator.com CEO Keith Levenson told XBIZ. "We know our demographics,
and the 18-25 crowd is a big audience for us."
Levenson told XBIZ that he might pursue the ban through the courts.
"So far as I knew, flying planes and aerial banners was a First
Amendment right," Levenson said. "From what we heard, this was a little
airport that took the law into their own hands. We're contemplating
legal action."
April 1, 2008 Tod Hunter http://xbiz.com/news/web/91994
Males drool, females rule in examination of mating rituals on PBS
Suppose you're a single adult male with a yen to impress the ladies but no cash, credit or opposable thumbs.
Given these limitations, you can't very well splash on some high-octane after-shave and go out to haunt the bars.
So, if you're a sage grouse, you coo and strut and fan your spectacular tail feathers.
If you're a bowerbird, you gather the prettiest pebbles, leaves, flowers and twigs to construct a cunning girl-trap.
And if you're a red-sided garter snake, you slither out of your den,
coil yourself around the nearest female and - battling perhaps a dozen
other males wrapped around the same she-snake - attempt to wriggle your
way to the prize.
All this and much more is on display in a two-part "Nature" special
airing this month on PBS, "What Females Want and Males Will Do."
A guide to some of the animal kingdom's most flamboyant mating
rituals, it documents the ways males of diverse species pass on their
genes without benefit of roses, chocolates or a carefully crafted iMix.
Why travel from New Guinea to Ethiopia to Manitoba to film courting behavior?
Not to belabor the obvious, but sex is, well, sexy.
"You get some of the most amazing behavior from these animals when
they're trying to attract a mate," wildlife biologist Chadden Hunter
told TV critics last summer at a PBS session to promote the "Nature"
special, which airs Sunday and April 13.
"These arenas where you've got this one chance to impress . . . the opposite sex really are a fascinating part of biology."
Hunter, an Aussie by birth, spent three years in the mountains of northern Ethiopia studying the local gelada baboons.
The males toss their long, tawny manes and flash their bright-red pectoral patches to catch the eyes of potential mates.
Though the suitors can be twice the size of those they court, it's clear who wields power over the mating process.
"It's a lot of fun to watch these girls use alliances and networks
and families to just completely control sexual access to a male,"
Hunter observed. "He's just a sex toy."
'Fembot' drives 'em wild
Among Wyoming sage grouse, too, the hen is mightier, or at least more discriminating.
"The females are extremely picky about the males, but the males are
just keyed up," said Gail Patricelli, a University of California-Davis
biologist who specializes in animal communication. "They're out there
trying to copulate with cow pies most of the day."
To elicit the male birds' mating displays for her studies,
Patricelli has rigged up an artificial female sage grouse. This
remote-controlled "fembot," as she calls it, consists of a real bird's
head and a feathered breast and back atop a toy airplane engine and
model train wheels.
When the fembot tootles along on her train tracks, the guys go wild.
"The males don't seem bothered by the tracks," Patricelli said,
"and we can send her out to particular stops in front of our target
males. She has a little microphone so we can record the male sound from
the female's perspective, and a little video camera (for) the display.
She allows us to interact with the males and get inside the head of a
real female to see what they see."
Surprisingly, for producer Kevin Bachar, the birds were more of a trial to film than the baboons.
"For the sage grouse, you had to be in a blind by 4:45 in the
morning, and you couldn't leave until the last bird left, which was
sometimes 11 o'clock," Bachar said. "It's 28 degrees, and you can't
drink coffee because you can't leave the blind, (so you can't) go to
the bathroom."
Baboons 'very visual'
The gelada, on the other hand "were
amazing," Bachar marveled. "You could get up close with the camera.
They really had no fear - they didn't stop doing anything they did. The
main thing is, you really didn't want to make eye contact with them."
"They're very visual," Hunter said, explaining that, when a male
baboon displays signs of aggression - raising his eyebrow, curling his
lip, flashing his canines - it's best to avert one's eyes.
"Basically, they'll try to give you as much warning as possible
before they take a chunk out of you. I've never been attacked because I
follow the protocol and know how to behave."
Selective about genes
Another thing that surprised Bachar
was the variety of subtle or not-so-subtle controls the females exerted
over the males when it came to procreation. Far from being the passive
receptacles pictured in some older wildlife documentaries, most future
mothers that were studied were very selective about the genes of their
offspring.
Female fireflies, for example, prefer virgin males. Some male lizards must do push-ups to demonstrate their vigor.
In some of the most common duck species, males without mates will
force themselves on females who've already paired off with other males.
"Most of the time the female just can't escape, so they will
actually be force-copulated on by several males, in some cases," said
Patricia Brennan, who studies the birds at a Connecticut waterfowl
sanctuary near Yale University, where she's a behavioral ecologist.
"That's not the end of the story, though. You know, the male's
copulated, and he won, but everything else is happening inside the
female.
"She can choose to use the sperm from that male or dump it. She can
develop other defenses, chemical or whatever, to keep control of her
reproduction.
"That's a good part of the story that doesn't get out as much because we can't see it quite so easily," Brennan said.
"The male might walk away going, 'ha, ha, ha,' " Bachar added, "but it doesn't mean (fatherhood)."
March 31, 2008 JOANNE WEINTRAUB http://www.jsonline.com
Ryan Gosling enamoured by sex doll
GOSLING tells of how he fell for "Bianca" in his new movie
Lars and the Real Girl
In
the new movie, Gosling plays an emotionally stunted man who brings his
first girlfriend, Bianca, home for dinner. His brother and
sister-in-law are elated. But their joy soon turns to shock and horror
when Bianca turns out to be a life-sized latex doll.
She's a "Real Doll", to be precise, a flexible, anatomically correct rubber woman.
In
the film, Biana provides emotional (not sexual) companionship for
Gosling's delusional character. It's obvious she's there to bring him
out of his shell. Eventually, she gives him the confidence to go for
the real living thing.
And Gosling admits he shared a real chemistry with his inanimate co-star.
"I'm
worried to say this because it makes me sound crazy, but she did have a
real presence," he told a reporter at the film's premiere. "I really
felt some kind of connection to her and a cammaraderie. This whole
movie rested on our relationship together. She had a very supportive
energy."
"Real Dolls" began life as a sex toy in 1996 when
Matt McMullen, a special effects artist in Hollywood made a half-sized
silicone woman for a Halloween company. After posting shots of the doll
on the net, he got emails asking if he could make a full sized sex toy.
On a whim, he quoted a price ($5000) thinking no-one would pay. They
did - up front and in cash. And so the "Real Doll" phenomenon was born.
McMullen's company, Abyss, is now the world leader in Real
Dolls, selling one per day for roughly US$6000 each. Clients can choose
from 10 body types and 15 faces. They choose skin tone, hairstyle, eye
colour and more. Made-to-order custom dolls can cost up to US$50,000.
And yes, girls, male models are now available. One web forum now has
21,000 registered members.
While most are bought as sex toys,
a growing number of clients are now using them for simple, non-sexual
companionship. McMullen has designed dolls for burns victims and
paraplegics, and many are being used by those with mental, social and
physical illnesses.
"It's not weird," McMullen told Salon.com.
"What if you lived all by yourself, and what if you didn't want or
couldn't have a relationship, and you were just lonely, and you just
wanted to feel that contact? To feel contact, to feel a body next to
you, is a human need."
For McMullen, the next stage of design involves moving parts and sounds, as the Real Dolls become more and more life-like.
Yet
Gosling has shorter-term goals in mind. In a recent interview, he joked
that he wants to manage Bianca's campaign for a best actress Oscar, if
for no other reason than to watch famous designers "fighting over who's
going to dress her.
March 30, 2008
http://news.com.au
Security 'bad news for sex drive'
A woman's sex drive begins to plummet once she is in a secure relationship, according to research.
Researchers from Germany found that four years into a relationship, less than half of 30-year-old women wanted regular sex.
Conversely, the team found a man's libido remained the same regardless of how long he had been in a relationship.
Writing in the journal Human Nature, the scientists said the differences resulted from how humans had evolved.
For men, a good reason their sexual motivation to remain constant would be to guard against being cuckolded by another male
Dr Dietrich Klusmann
The researchers from Hamburg-Eppendorf University Hospital interviewed 530 men and women about their relationships.
They found 60% of 30-year-old women wanted sex "often" at the beginning of a relationship, but within four years of the relationship this figure fell to under 50%, and after 20 years it dropped to about 20%.
In contrast, they found the proportion of men wanting regular sex remained at between 60-80%, regardless of how long they had been in a relationship.
Tenderness
The study also revealed tenderness was important for women in a relationship.
About 90% of women wanted tenderness, regardless of how long they had been in a relationship, but only 25% of men who had been in a relationship for 10 years said they were still seeking tenderness from their partner.
Dr Dietrich Klusmann, lead author of the study and a psychologist from Hamburg-Eppendorf University Hospital, believed the differences were down to human evolution.
He said: "For men, a good reason their sexual motivation to remain constant would be to guard against being cuckolded by another male."
But women, he said, have evolved to have a high sex drive when they are initially in a relationship in order to form a "pair bond" with their partner.
But, once this bond is sealed a woman's sexual appetite declines, he added.
He said animal behaviour studies suggest this could be because females may be diverting their sexual interest towards other men, in order to secure the best combinations of genetic material for their offspring.
Or, he said, this could be because limiting sex may boost their partner's interest in it.
Professor George Fieldman, an evolutionary psychologist from Buckinghamshire Chilterns University College, said: "These findings seem to fit in with anecdotal studies and his explanations seem plausible.
"The rational for why a woman's sex drive declines may be down to supply and demand. If something is in infinite supply, the perceived value would drop."
Published August 14, 2006 http://www.bbc.co.uk
Crazy U.S. Thinking: Rampant Sexually Spread Diseases and No Talk About Sex!
Spring fever has sprung! Just as a sobering CDC study report breaks
that one in four American teen girls has a sexually transmitted
disease, crime-busting Gov. Eliot Spitzer resigns for itching an
eighty-grand, reportedly unsafe prostitution habit. Instantly the
scandal storm blows bigger and more bizarre as New York's new governor
holds an emergency press conference to confess -- also with wife by
side -- to several affairs, one over several years. Meanwhile,
journalists struggle for truth in the public dispute between New
Jersey's former "I'm a gay American" governor and his divorcing wife
about their alleged three-ways with their young male driver. News
hasn't been this salacious since the Starr Report. And camera crews
still have to dispatch to spring break hot spots to capture the
bouncing B-roll of oiled and bronzed female flesh so news pundits can
opine on America's moral decline.
Family values conservatives are
spinning the current chaos to pin the blame on sexual health education
and to push for more abstinence-only programming, already a $1.5
billion social engineering boondoggle that mandates the expected sexual
standard for children (up to 29 years old!) be within marriage. Never
mind that most of us at some point explore our sexuality outside of
marriage -- even chastity champions like Sen. David Vitter
(R-LA), a longtime patron of prostitutes. Never mind that real life
proves that a wedding ring doesn't protect you from disease and
despair, even if you're not a political wife.
Never mind that the United States leads developed nations in rates of
HIV, other STDs, teen births and unwanted pregnancies -- purity pushers
don't want to send our kids any mixed messages. "Our challenge is that
the government wants to talk about preventing the spread of STDs and
HIV without talking about sex," says sexuality educator Deb Levine.
In
our sex-saturated consumer culture, abstinence-only-unless-married is a
mixed message. How can we talk about sex in a way that makes sense to
us, and to our relationships? What is healthy sexuality? And how can we
teach it in such a toxic environment of extremes?
"We sell and
promote sex with everything from soap to cars, but it's still for the
most part a closeted discussion. It is most absent in a meaningful way
in curricula geared toward our most vulnerable sexually active
populations," says Lennie Green, who at John Hopkins University
facilitates communication among groups of young African American men
who have sex with men -- a community the CDC reports to have experienced a spike in HIV infections.
"We
seem to have this Sunday morning church mentality when we discuss
sexuality, but when we review societal practices there's a major
dichotomy in our rhetoric and what we actually do," says Green. "The
weakest link has been 'family values.' They strike out against
subcultures they find amoral, and crusade to establish law and order in
bed. Even in the face of disease we hang onto old archaic beliefs that
sex will not happen until marriage. Our public health record has been
trashing that theory for decades."
"The biggest challenge is to be open on the subject of sex," says Kylee Darcy, a freshman at UC Berkeley and winner of the Fresh Focus Sex Ed Video Contest.
"In spite of all the sexy messages out there, communication about sex
is still shrouded with taboo. It's pretty ridiculous to think that an
abstinence program is going to be able to outweigh the hundreds of
sexual suggestions I get everyday from TV, the Internet, magazines,
billboards, music, fashion, etc. Sex is something everyone, whether
they want to do it or not, needs to be clear about. And the only thing
that can create clarity is communication."
Darcy's animated
video, showcased in January at Sex::Tech: Focus on Youth, the first
STD/HIV prevention conference focusing on youth and technology,
illustrated pop culture's sexed-up messages crushing the scale against
abstinence-only messages. "The abstinence-only program is not
productive, but sex ed that just addresses the physical act of sex and
contraception is also outdated," Darcy continues. "Yes, students need
to know about contraception and disease, but sex ed should be as much
about the interpersonal as the physical. Good sex ed can help create
rapport between young people and their parents as well as young people
and their partners."
If speaking honestly about sex in person can
be daunting, then the "perceived anonymity" of technology and new media
can free youth to ask questions they might find uncomfortable, says Deb
Levine, founder and executive director of the Internet Sexuality
Information Services (ISIS). "Our culture promotes shame and
embarrassment about explicit discussions of sex, sexuality and sexual
health," she says. "We interviewed young men and women to find out how
they wanted to receive sensitive information, and mobile phones were
unanimously considered to be an acceptable and private way to talk
about sexual issues." So ISIS engages in strategic collaborations to
promote sexual health via cell phone, PDAs and the Internet.
"Overall, when people are asking about communication-building
skills, they're wanting to know how to talk about sex without shame,
how to talk to partners candidly without stepping too hard on
insecurities or sensitivities, how to feel assertive in talking about
it all," says Heather Corrina, founder and editor of Scarleteen.com,
an independent online sexuality education resource and community for
young adults that takes a feminist, inclusive and often humorous
approach to answering sensitive questions. "For the girls particularly,
lack of assertiveness is always a big area of need, and not just with
birth control, but overall with negotiating sex and relationships. A
lot of what would help is for adults to not just prepare kids to say
'yes' or 'no,' but prepare them for the fact that all of this
communication and negotiation tends to be a lot less black and white
than that, and a lot more nuanced," says Corrina, a passionate
workhorse who runs Scarleteen -- which serves up to 30,000 users a day
-- solely on donations. Approximately a third of the content in the
model sexuality education guidelines by the Sexuality Information and
Education Council of the United States focuses on relationship and
communication skills, says Monica Rodriguez, SIECUS's Vice President
for Education and Training. "The ultimate goal of sexuality education
programs is to help young people grow up to be sexually healthy adults.
We need to move beyond just giving information -- young people need to
be given opportunities to practice skills in decision-making and
communicating decisions to a partner," she says.
Fueling the myth
that sexual health education causes promiscuity is blood sport in
traditionalists' sex-driven culture war. "In our abstinence-only world
today, people sometimes confuse providing sexual education with
promoting sexual activity for young people," says Deb Levine. Debra
Hauser, executive vice president for Advocates for Youth, agrees. "Even
enlightened educators fear that parents and administrators will react
negatively to a curriculum that promotes healthy sexuality -- that the
perception will be that they are condoning or promoting sex," says
Hauser, whose group lobbies for the stalled REAL Act
to provide unprecedented funding for sex ed that goes beyond today's
disease-prevention model. "The perception of many is that [sex ed]
needs a heavy-handed message that teaches sex is likely to lead to
negative outcomes. Thirty years of public health research shows that
teaching young people about healthy sexuality does not promote sex."
And
since talking sex beyond bananas and virginity pledges is essential to
facilitating healthy identities and relationships, sexuality educators
and advocacy organizations like SIECUS make easy targets. To show that
sex ed undermines parents and corrupts childhood innocence, culture
warriors cherry-pick from sexual health programs to find scary words
like "masturbation" and "pleasure." "I am always interested in the way
teachers are so afraid of discussing anything that might be
pleasurable," says sex educator McCaffree. "Youth will want to know why
people even have sex if there is no pleasure. They are very concrete
early on, and it doesn't make sense to approach with all the negatives.
Helping them see why and how people enjoy their sexuality is important
... When a program only deals with teen pregnancy, STIs, rape and those
topics, pleasure is replaced with fear-based negatives."
McCaffree
cites the United Church of Christ/Unitarian Universalist sex ed
curriculum, Our Whole Lives, as a program that understands the
importance of teaching about pleasure and the diverse reasons why
individuals and couples are sexual. "OWL is the antidote to an overly
sexualized society," says Ann Hanson, Minister for Sexuality Education
and Justice, UCC. "Program assumptions" include the tenets that
"sexuality includes more than sexual behavior" and "people engage in
healthy sexual behavior for a variety of reasons, including to express
love, to experience intimacy and connection with another, to share
pleasure, to bring new life into the world, and to experience fun and
relaxation." "OWL doesn't focus only on the negatives of sex, but
encourages exploration of all aspects of sexuality," says McCaffree.
"When you include everything, pleasure can be more readily seen."
Maybe
the OWL lesson most threatening to the retro values movement bent on
slashing away at sexual health and freedom is "each person is their own
moral agent." Such modern ambiguity conjures apocalyptic nightmares for
the moral absolutists who distort the sexual health conversation we
need to lead responsible, joyful lives. Talking about sex and sexuality
doesn't do anything to young people's "innocence," McCaffree reminds
us. "What makes any aspect of sex or sexuality so awful that innocence
is removed?" Indeed, courageous souls are working against the tide of
America's sexual schizophrenia to help young people communicate openly
about their sexual wants and needs. But can we really talk grown-up sex
today amid the culture warmongering and commercial chatter of the next
media sex scandal?
March 27, 2008 Laura Driscoll http://www.alternet.org
Threatened pandas taught new sex moves
Animal handlers in China have developed a "sexercise" program to try to encourage extinction-threatened pandas to overcome their notoriously low sex drives.
Efforts to remove pandas from the endangered list is helped little by their notoriously low sex drives.
Featuring hip and pelvic-strengthening "dances" for male pandas, the program also sees inexperienced pandas watching their older relatives make love to learn a few moves.
The handlers hope to encourage mating among the sex-shy-but-endangered animals, the Chinese state media reported Tuesday. They work at the Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding in the southwestern Sichuan province, the China Daily said.
Keepers teach male pandas a dance-like routine to strengthen the pelvic and hip area -- it also boosts the animal's stamina, the paper said.
In the wild, pandas are solitary animals, coming together only in the spring to mate.
Keepers place a male panda in a female's den when she's not there and vice versa. This allows them to smell each other's odors. And if the pandas get randy at the same time, keepers bring them together, the report said.
"We arrange love-making between two excellent pandas in front of inexperienced pandas, which have never had sex. It does work," the reserve's deputy chief, Fei Lisong, told the newspaper.
The unusual measures are aimed at increasing the population of captive giant pandas. They have famously low sexual desires -- and that threatens their future.
Fewer than 1,600 giant pandas survive in the wild, along the edge of the Tibetan plateau in China, according to the World Wildlife Fund.
The peaceful, bamboo-eating member of the bear family faces a number of threats. Its forest habitat is fragmented, and giant panda populations are small and isolated from each other. Poaching is also an ever-present threat, the fund said.
The reserve has, in the past, tried to boost panda sex drive by showing the animals pornographic movies once in the morning and again in the evening.
The new "sexercise" regimen seems to be yielding results.
Fei said more than 30 percent of the 68 pandas at the reserve can have sex naturally now, compared with only 10 percent a decade ago.
March 25, 2008 http://www.CNN.com
Talking Sex... Understanding wet dreams
A nocturnal emission is an ejaculation of semen experienced by a male during sleep. It is also called a wet dream, a sex dream, an involuntary orgasm, or simply an orgasm during sleep.
In medieval Western occultism, nocturnal emissions were believed to be caused by succumbs' coupling with the individual at night, an event associated with night terrors.
In the 18th and 19th centuries, if a patient had involuntary orgasms frequently or released more semen than is typical, then he was diagnosed with a disease called spermatorrhoea or seminal weakness. Saint Augustine held that nocturnal emissions, unlike masturbation, did not pollute the conscience of a man, because they were not voluntary carnal acts, and were therefore not to be considered a sin.
Sex dreams in men
During puberty, 13 per cent of males experience their first ejaculation as a result of a nocturnal emission. Kinsey found that males experiencing their first ejaculation through a nocturnal emission were older than those experiencing their first ejaculation by means of masturbation However, nocturnal emissions may happen any time after puberty.
They may be accompanied by erotic dreams, and the emission may happen without erection. Whereas an ejaculation normally terminates an erection, in the case of nocturnal emission, the man often still has a functional erection afterward. It is possible to wake up during, or to simply sleep through the ejaculation. The frequency of nocturnal emissions is quite variable. Some men experience large numbers of nocturnal emissions as teenagers, while others have never experienced one.
In the United States, it is estimated that 83 per cent of men will eventually experience nocturnal emissions at some time in their lives. Surveys in non-Western countries where masturbation is culturally suppressed revealed that 98 per cent or more of the men eventually experience nocturnal emissions.
For males who have experienced nocturnal emissions the mean frequency ranges from 0.36 times per week for single 15-year-old men to 0.18 times per week for 40-year-old single men. For married men the mean ranges from 0.23 times per week for 19-year-old married men to 0.15 times per week for 50-year-old married men. Some have the dreams only at a certain age, while others have them throughout their lives following puberty. The frequency of nocturnal emissions has not been conclusively linked to the frequency of masturbation.
World-renowned sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found that "there may be some correlation between the frequencies of masturbation and the frequencies of nocturnal dreams. "In general the males who have the highest frequencies of nocturnal emissions may have somewhat lower rates of masturbation.
Some of these males credit the frequent emissions to the fact that they do not masturbate; but it is just as likely that the reverse relationship is true, namely, that they do not masturbate because they have frequent emissions." One factor that can affect the number of nocturnal emissions a person has is whether they take testosterone-based drugs.
In a 1998 study, the number of boys reporting nocturnal emissions drastically increased as their testosterone doses were increased, from 17 per cent of subjects with no treatment to 90 per cent of subjects at a high dose.
Sex dreams in women
In 1953, a study by Kinsey found that 40 per cent of women experienced at least one orgasm during sleep by the age of 45, and a 1986 study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that 85 per cent of women who have experienced orgasms during sleep first did so at a young age - before the age of 21, and some before 13.
According to Kinsey's findings, women who suddenly lost the opportunity for several coital orgasms per week had only a few more orgasms in their sleep per year.
What causes sex dreams?
The causes of sex dreams is not entirely known, but it is associated with the fact that males typically get an erection often during sleep (this is called nocturnal penile tumescence). A common theory proposed by some researchers is that they are the direct result of the stimulation caused by either erotic dreams, or memories of waking sexual activities.
For this reason, the term wet dream is also used figuratively for something very pleasurable but imagined. However, there has been limited experimental evidence to support this theory, and many men claim to have had nocturnal emissions without having erotic dreams.
Another common theory is that wet dreams are the way the body disposes of "built-up" semen. However, such a theory is unclear as studies have shown that there was no significant difference observed in wet dream frequency between men who ejaculated frequently while awake and those who never did.
Furthermore, according to the Singapore Science Centre, sperm cells "degenerate and are reabsorbed (broken down and absorbed by the body) in the seminiferous tubules if they are not ejaculated." If you are having sex dreams and are experiencing anxiety qualms please remember that:
# Wet dreams are normal
# Girls also get wet dreams, but they are more common in boys.
# Masturbation can, but will not necessarily, stop frequent wet dreams.
# Some experts believe that wet dreams are one of the many subconscious ways that the body handles stress - they seem to happen more frequently in teens and young adults because this age group is thought to be stress prone.
# Wet dreams are not induced by drugs.
# Wet dreams do not suggest a sexual abnormality or mean you are sexually deviant.
# The type of wet dreams you have does not reflect your sexual orientation.
Sex toy safety: What you need to know before you dig into the adult toybox
The sex-toy industry is like a bad parent that lets its children chew on toxic toys.
Recently,
Health Canada announced it would be banning the use of certain
phthalates in products intended for kids, like teethers and rattles.
Meanwhile,
adults can play with toys that, in certain animals, may cause anything
from hormonal and reproductive problems to liver and kidney damage.
"The
sex-toy industry is largely unregulated. Products are sold as novelty
items, which makes manufacturers immune to certain regulations that
would provide more quality control," says Edmonton sexologist Brian
Parker.
Most poorly made sex toys are often made of materials
like jelly, plastic or latex, which are porous and can't be properly
sterilized. They can also have sharp seams, which may cause tears in
the vaginal or rectal walls, and can cause allergic reactions and
bacterial infections.
Phthalates, a type of chemical often added
to plastics to increase their flexibility, are at the centre of an
unfolding controversy about what can safely be but in one's mouth, or
anywhere else in one's body. Over time, the phthalates may potentially
leach out, releasing compounds that can be absorbed through the body's
mucus membranes.
"There's huge money in the sex-toy industry, and
it's dominated by a couple of big companies, but they're not pulling up
their socks," says Parker, who runs www.foreverpleasure.com, an online
resource for adult sex education that also sells high-end silicone toys.
Silicone
is an ideal sex-toy material because it is non-porous, non-toxic,
hypoallergenic, warms to the body quickly, and "carries vibration like
a dream," says Parker.
But buyers need to be wary of imitations, which are now flooding the market because of increased awareness of health concerns.
"Some
manufacturers say their toys are made of silicone when there's only
about 10 per cent silicone. They need to be 100 per cent medical- or
food-grade silicone, Pyrex glass or Elastomer to fully protect you,"
says Parker.
A handful of stores adhere to strict guidelines and
only carry safe sex-toys, like Vancouver-based womynsware.com, which is
known as the authority on good products, says Parker.
"If you've got an old toy you love to use, but you're not sure about it, put a condom on it, and next time buy only good toys."
The
majority of people are more interested in a sex toy's bells and
whistles than in any potential health concerns associated with using
them, says the owner of a west-end sex boutique.
"They just
assume sex toys are all safe. There's not a lot of awareness around the
possible dangers of phthalates. It's more about looking for the most
powerful vibration they can find, not necessarily what's the safest,"
says Sandy Keeler, who runs Alluring Intimates.
She sells a range
of toys made from silicone and glass to plastic, jelly and latex, to
satisfy every customer. Silicone and glass toys range anywhere from $85
to $200, while products made only of partial silicone run about $35.
"We
try to educate people, if they're interested. Some toy boxes now
advertise that they're 'phthalate-free,' so people are starting to ask
more questions," says Keller.
Sex toys are perfectly normal and
natural to use with a partner or alone. They can enhance your sex life,
but it's not worth putting yourself at risk, so shop carefully.
In
2006, Greenpeace Netherlands conducted a study that found seven out of
eight vibrators and dildos tested contained phthalates in
concentrations from 24 to 51 per cent.
The U.S. Center for
Disease Control is currently studying the effects of phthalates on
animals and humans. They've determined that phthalates cause a number
of health-related issues for rodents, including infertility, endocrine
problems, liver and kidney damage, and tumours, but so far no human
studies have reported these issues.
The Canadian government is
also testing phthalate levels in blood and tissue samples from 5,000
Canadians. In addition, a second study is underway that involves 2,000
pregnant women and their newborns.
Parker hopes scientific evidence will lead to stricter industry regulations.
Isn't the next step obvious: to hold the industry that produces sex toys to a safer standard?
We protect society's most vulnerable -- our children -- but what about making adults' playtime safe?
Friday, March 21 Jennifer Parks http://www.edmontonjournal.com
The Surprising Joy of Christian Sex Toys
Joy Wilson went looking for something to spice up her marriage without compromising her Christian beliefs.
Finding nothing, she founded her own "sin-free" sex toy business. Book22.com
caters to the Christian community with books, toys and occasional
advice. The name refers to the Song of Solomon, the extended love poem
that forms the 22nd book of the Bible.
Wilson says that after the
birth of her first child, she had trouble rekindling her desire for
intimacy. She and her husband went looking for marital aids, and found
that Internet searches for products as tame as massage oil led to sites
with pornographic images. "I was really surprised that it was that
bad," she says.
She and her husband talked it over and decided
that there must be a way for conservative people to add a spark to
their romantic lives. She says their site steers clear of certain types
of sexual activity that they believe are unholy. And they carefully
consider which new products to add.
"We pray about things
before we add them to our site," she says. "We live our lives very
openly in front of Jesus, so we just kind of pray for direction about
which way he would have us go, and I have to be honest with you — he's
really surprised us. ... Almost our whole entire 'special order' page
has come about from that."
Wilson says she and her husband are
blessed with good health, but that God has shown them that other
couples might need help from a particular toy.
It's not just sex: A look at why the oldest profession is still flourishing
High-definition pornography is a mouse click away. Assignations with
multiple partners are advertised on Craig's List. And if celebrities
are any indication, underwear is strictly optional.
Sex, it
seems, is everywhere. It's on the Internet, in chat rooms, in "Girls
Gone Wild" buses and hotel rooms and governors' mansions. It's come a
long way from darkened peep shows and plain brown wrappers.
So in
this hyper-sexualized time, one might wonder: What's the point of going
through the elaborate, illegal and stigmatized motions of hiring a
prostitute?
Eliot Spitzer's alleged choice to partake in "the
hobby," as men who solicit prostitutes call it, cost him his governor's
seat. Why will some men risk everything for secret trysts with sex
workers?
The answer may seem obvious, but experts say it's not
just about easy sex. Some might be drawn to adventure. Some are
attracted to the level of secrecy they think will come with a paid
prostitute. Others are looking for a sense of control.
"It could
say that they don't know how to be intimate," says Bev Smallwood, a
psychologist in Hattiesburg, Miss. "It could say that they have a
sexual addiction, that they have become desensitized to sex within a
more appropriate context and they're seeking one more thrill of the
chase."
For some "clients," there's a rush in knowing you're doing something you're not supposed to do, experts say.
"There
is an appeal to colouring outside the lines," says Smallwood.
"Certainly (Spitzer) was a risk-taker or he never would've gotten where
he got in life. ... But sometimes the thrill of that risk can be
extremely destructive."
The difference between merely enjoying
sex and having an unhealthy obsession with it is that with addiction, a
person pursues something he wants despite the extremely damaging
consequences that can come with it, says Smallwood, who wrote, "This
Wasn't Supposed to Happen to Me: 10 Make-or-Break Choices When Life
Steals Your Dreams and Rocks Your World."
"We all have
temptations, but people who are more responsible or conscientious look
at a temptation and see it for what it is," she says.
Men who use
prostitutes might be drawn to the position of power it can afford in
the sexual encounter, according to some experts.
"It's
self-serving," says Douglas Weiss, the executive director of the Heart
to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colo.
Himself a
former sex addict, Weiss has worked with hundreds of men who use
prostitutes - almost all of them married - and says such rendezvous
provide clients with "object-related sex," where the man can direct the
situation on all levels. "You give her a script, she plays it," he says.
There's
little threat of rejection with paid sex. If you want your wife to
behave in ways that push certain boundaries, you might get turned down.
If you pick somebody up at a bar and try to ease her out of her comfort
zone, you might get "partial results," Weiss says. But with a
prostitute, generally you get what you pay for.
In some cases,
it's more than just sex that clients are looking for. Online message
and review boards for "escort" services reveal many conversations where
customers are seeking a GFE - a "girlfriend experience" - which can
mean anything from showing extra affection the way a girlfriend might
to not wearing a condom.
Encounters with prostitutes might be a
temporary boon to a man's self-esteem, says Weiss, who wrote, "The
Final Freedom: Pioneering Sexual Addiction Recovery."
"You've got
the psychological reinforcement," he says. "That message is, 'I want
you.' ... Prostitutes know that the male psyche wants to be wanted.
They want to be wanted, and so the prostitute will communicate it
during sex. That sends the man through the roof."
A prostitute
whom you've never met might give a potential client a sense of security
that he won't be found out. If you engage in illicit behaviour with
anybody in your immediate circle of friends, colleagues or
acquaintances, there are more chances of being gossiped about,
according to Tina B. Tessina, author of "Money, Sex, and Kids: Stop
Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage."
"He's, in his mind, protecting his relationship by doing this," she says.
Tessina
believes communication is the most important way to heal a troubled
relationship. Sometimes that means facing facts that are initially
unsettling.
"We have to come to terms with who we are as human
beings," she says. "We can't pretend it's going to get tame and go away
just because we're uncomfortable with it. It's like death. That's not
going to go away either, just because we're uncomfortable with it."
March 19, 2008 The Canadian Free Press http://canadianpress.google.com
Girls, Girls, Girls: Are We Done With The Sex Scandals Yet?
Has it gotten to the point with all these sex scandals that we just
can't imagine the news without them? Last Monday, with front pages on Hillary Clinton and New York's noisiest neighborhoods seems like ages ago. But are we starting to get a case of sex-scandal fatigue? If you looked at the front pages of the
Post and the
Daily News, you'd think not, but the subway freebies
amNY and
Metro New York have clearly moved on.
The
Daily News's problem today is that it has an
embarrassment of riches. Juan Gonzalez's exclusive interview with Gov.
Paterson that ran yesterday means that the tabloid needs to follow up
with the sex scandal. Unfortunately this pushes their coverage of the
Nixzmary Brown verdict off the front page. It's a shame because the
News
has been dogged about covering this tragedy, and it probably would have
made page one on a "regular" news day. The only papers to put the
manslaughter conviction of Cesar Rodriguez on the front were the
Metro and Spanish-language paper
Hoy.
The
News dedicates pages 8 and 9 to the case, including a story outlining how the
News
has covered this case since the beginning, from its investigation into
how the city's child-welfare system failed young Nixzmary to the trial.
Columnist Jane Ridley's piece outlines her argument for why Rodriguez
deserves the maximum sentence for his conviction. Ridley also tears
into the jurors for bringing "injustice" by not convicting Rodriguez of
murder. Scott Shifrel, Mike Jaccarino and Tracy Connor's roundup of the
verdict includes the info that a lawyer on the jury led the vote against the murder charge. The
Post
has a short story on the verdict on page 15 with an accompanying photo
of community activist Awilda Cordero holding a picture of the little
girl, looking forlorn.
So, instead of Nixzmary's face on the front page, we get more Gov. Paterson and his "GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!" (
Post) and "THE OTHER WOMAN" (
Daily News). You've got to give it to the
News
for their little knee-slapper in the subhed, "New gov's ex-girlfriend
works for the state's Office of Intergovernmental Affairs (
Boy, you can say that again!). That's something my dad would tack on to a comment about this scandal. It's an awesome "old-man" joke.
What is interesting here, though, is that both papers have
different women on their front pages. The
Post
has Olympic gold-medalist Diane Dixon, who claims that Paterson got her
a state job after they became friends. She also claims to have secret
recordings of her and Paterson, yet maintains that she and Paterson
were just friends. Frederic U. Dicker's story on Dixon includes
illustrations of the e-mails she sent the
Post and paints her
as someone who wants it both ways: to have insider info on the new
governor, but supposedly not really wanting to have her name in the
papers. (It doesn't help her case that she seems really "posed" in the
accompanying photos by
Post photog Spencer A. Burnett.) Much of the coverage of the Paterson "GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!" scandal in the
Post
reads like the paper is just salivating at the potential of Joe Bruno
being sworn in as governor should Paterson have to resign. Oh, and
Andrea Peyser? Will you
please stop it with the TGI Friday's references to Jim McGreevey? They are incredibly nauseating to read first thing in the morning.
The other woman in the
News' coverage is Lila Kirton, who is
the director of community affairs in the aforementioned Office of
Intergovernmental Affairs. (You can say that again!) While the
Post skirts around the resignation issue, the
News
has a "man-on-the-street" story asking if Paterson should resign. A few
said he should, including a reader pictured on page 4. Paterson's
"stunning frankness" is commended by Juan Gonzalez in his column today, where he notes that the governor "was more forthcoming than any politician I've interviewed in 30 years."
Oh, and just when you think it's over,
Post gossip columnist Cindy Adams today hints that
another
sex scandal is about to break, albeit one not in New York. Her coy
blind item reads like when a teenage girl is keeping a secret from her
best friend, in that annoying, "I know more, but I can't share it, but
I'll try to get you to tease it out of me" kind of way.
Meanwhile,
some presidential candidate gave a speech about race. Barack Obama's
bound-for-the-history-books speech on race in America might have gotten
front-page play any other day of the week (and it did, on the
Metro),
but we're too concerned with what our current governor did in his
bedroom a few years back. (And yes, I get the hypocrisy of only
bringing up the Obama speech this low in the column) Mike Lupica of the
News calls the speech "one for the ages." Charles Hurt's column in the
Post
is confusing at best, as he claims that Obama broke through the racial
barrier "with the deft silence of a cat springing onto a sunny
windowsill" and includes the nice dig of "It's how a black man with a
Muslim name managed to roll up massive victories in blindingly white
Kansas and Nebraska and Idaho and Iowa." Did you really have to bring
up the "Muslim" name?
In other news Both papers report that Ashley Alexandra Dupre appeared in
Girls Gone Wild when she was 18. Remember her? Girl seems like old news at this point.
The
News has an exclusive on a female cabbie whose pals
thwarted an attack against her. Neeru Singh was chatting on her cell
with two friends when her fare tried to mug her. The pals called 911
and other cabbies fled to the scene. And you thought your cabbie was
only chatting about when he was getting home?
Oops! The
Daily News reports that the
Post's
front-page story on Tiger Woods $65 million Hamptons home purchase is
false. The buyer wishes to remain anonymous, but the realtor says it is
not Woods.
Oh, and finally, today marks the 5-year anniversary of the start of
the Iraq War. Neither of the major tabloids mentions it in their news
sections. You'll have to grab a copy of
amNY for that.
Heather Muse March 19, 2008 http://blogs.villagevoice.com
Kristin Davis Sex Tape Scandal?
Kristin Davis has reportedly been snapped in her very own celebrity
sex tape.
The pictures have spread like wire fire across the internet, adding to speculation that the brunette in the video is
Kristin Davis.
The so called
sex tape alledgedly captures the alleged Sex (Tape) And The City star in a somewhat of a private act'!
Undeniably the brunette in the photos holds a remarkable resemblance to Davis, who plays the quiet and innocent Charlotte in
Sex In The City.
Kristin has denied claims that she features in the video.
‘This is not a photo of Kristin Davis,’ a rep for the actress told
OK!. ‘
There is no sex tape.’
However the whole stunt is rumoured to be a marketing ploy for the
up and coming Sex and City movie, which is due to hit cinemas in May.
Good news for Kristin, bad news for those who thought Kristin would join the other
Sex Tape celebrities
Paris Hilton,
Kim Kardashian and
Pamela Anderson.
March 18, 2007 mtv.co.uk
Woman avoids jail for sex toy assault
A young woman has narrowly avoided a jail sentence today for trying to sodomise an Australian Army trooper with a sex toy.
District Court judge William Groves accepted that Nicola
Clunies-Ross, 21, had been acting under the control of violent former
boyfriend Peter Gurdulic, who was also charged but later committed
suicide.
Miss Clunies-Ross was jailed for 2½ years but the sentence was suspended.
After a trial earlier this year, Miss Clunies-Ross was convicted of
depriving the trooper of his liberty, attempting to sexually penetrate
him with a sex toy and assaulting him by punching him.
The offences occurred in her East Perth flat in October 2006.
Evidence was given that she and Mr Gurdulic, who was also in the army, lived together in Darwin.
But when he was sent away on a course, she started a relationship with the 20-year-old trooper.
Roy Gibson 17th March 2008 thewest.com.au
Finally, Dutch say animal sex illegal
AFTER two years of debate, the Dutch Parliament voted unanimously yesterday to make sex with animals a crime.
Sex with animals and making "animal pornography" now carries a penalty of up to six months jail.
Current Dutch law only forbids bestiality when animals are found to have been mistreated.
The pro-business VVD party and the Party for the Animals opposed the Bill but voted in favour anyway.
March 15, 2008 news.com.au
David and Victoria Beckham stock up on sex toys
David and Victoria Beckham stocked up on sex toys after visiting a sex store at the weekend.
The couple visited the Pleasure Chest adult superstore in Hollywood,
where they reportedly bought massage oil, personal lubricant, a
Cyberskin vibrator, a leather braided cane and a padded black collar
and restraint.
A source told British newspaper The Sun: “David grabbed a small
shopping basket and stocked up on some goods. Victoria was very vocal,
cracking jokes constantly.
“They seemed to know exactly what they wanted and after asking an assistant where items were, they grabbed what they came for.”
By Owen Williams
Mar 13 2008
Showbiz Spy
1 in 4 teen girls in U.S. infected with an STD
The first U.S. national study of four common sexually transmitted diseases among girls and young women has found that one in four are infected with at least one of the diseases, American health officials reported yesterday.
Among those who admitted having sex, the rate was even more disturbing – 40 per cent had an STD, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention which released the results yesterday as part of the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey.
The overall STD rate among the 838 girls aged 14 to 19 in the study was 26 per cent, which translates to more than 3 million girls in the United States.
Some experts suggested the high figures might be a reflection of abstinence-only sex education – a funding priority for the George W. Bush administration – as well as teens' own sense of invulnerability.
Nora Gelperin, who works with the teen-written website sexetc.org., said the "alarming" numbers reflect "the sad state of sex education in our country."
March 12, 2008 New York Times Associated Press
Britney Spears Has A Dildo-Fanatic Stalker
Britney Spears has all the luck. Not only is she rich and in
possession of all her marbles, but now a stranger keeps sending her
parcels full of dildos too, the lucky cow.
It's been reported that Britney Spears has somehow managed to pick
herself up a stalker. Not just any stalker either, but one who keeps
sending her packages of sex toys, threatening porno letters and
mutilated pictures of himself squirting an unidentified yellow liquid
into his mouth.
The details of Britney Spears' alleged stalker have now been passed
on to the FBI, which seems like an odd thing to do. After all, he
sounds like a better catch than
Kevin Federline.
Stalkers aren't normally known for
their good judgement - call us old fashioned but we wouldn't employ
someone if they handed us a CV with 'throwing bags of screwdrivers over John Cusack's fence' or 'composing songs about the time I fucked Alec Baldwin in his ass' in the Hobbies And Interests categories. Because, really,
John Cusack and Alec Baldwin? That's just weird.
But stalking Britney Spears? Actually, we can see that. After all,
Britney Spears isn't just vulnerable to the point where she needs psychiatric evaluation these days, she's also got a proven history of having sex with creepy people that follow her around all the time. And when you're a stalker, that's just an unbeatable combination.
So it's no surprise that Britney Spears has apparently picked
herself up a stalker. And, as stalkers go, Britney Spears' one seems
like quite the generous chap. Rather than constantly trying to run the object of his affection over, or hand-drawing pictures of them digging his grave while he walks along a knife, Britney Spears' stalker keeps sending him all the mechanical sex aids she could ever wish for.
OK! reports:
"It started about six weeks ago with just letters being sent once a week," a source who has seen the packages reveals to
OK!.
"And then it quickly escalated to larger packages that now arrive two
to three times a week — always to the same L.A. address, but never to
one of Britney's homes… The first thing you see when you open the box
is a huge, lavender-colored, battery-operated sex toy," the source
tells
OK!. "Still with the price tag on it." And alongside
the mechanical apparatus are two letters — one handwritten and one
written on a computer — both threatening and pornographic in nature.
See? That's how you know it's real love - when a stalker sends you a
dildo and keeps the price tag on it. If we were stalking Britney
Spears, we'd want her to know exactly how much we were spending on
nightmarish, oddly-coloured dildos to win her over, too.
Not that Britney Spears has seen any of this, that it. In her
fragile state, a box with a massive vibrator in it is the last thing
she needs to see. Instead, the stalker's packages are being sent to the
FBI, who shouldn't have a very difficult job in tracing him because
a) he's sent a photo of himself and
b) he's also politely included a return address on all the parcels. Which we can all agree is jolly lovely of him.
But even if those details weren't included in the parcels, it
wouldn't have been too hard to identify Britney Spears' stalker.
Apparently the letters he sent Britney were angry, incomprehensible,
full of threats and written entirely in capital letters.
March 10th, 2008 Stuart Heritage http://www.hecklerspray.com
Half of UK men would swap sex for 50 inch TV
LONDON (Reuters Life!) - Nearly half of British men surveyed would
give up sex for six months in return for a 50-inch plasma TV, a survey
-- perhaps unsurprisingly carried out for a firm selling televisions --
said on Friday.
Electrical retailer Comet surveyed 2,000 Britons,
asking them what they would give up for a large television, one of the
latest consumer "must-haves."
The firm found 47 percent of men would give up sex for half a year, compared to just over a third of women.
"It seems that size really does matter more for men than women," the firm said.
A quarter of people said they would give up smoking, with roughly the same proportion willing to give up chocolate.
(Reporting by Peter Apps, editing by Paul Casciato)
Reuters
Doing dull chores could improve sex life, US experts say
WASHINGTON (AFP) — American men have doubled the amount of housework
they do and may be having better sex because of it, experts have told
AFP.
"By and large, the more men do around the house, the happier
women are," sociologist Scott Coltrane of the University of California,
Riverside, a co-author of a report published in synopsis form on the
website of the Council of Contemporary Families (CCF) said late
Thursday.
"When men do more of the housework, women's perceptions
of fairness and marital satisfaction rise and the couple experience
less marital conflict," the report says.
The reward for menfolk who help out around the house could be more sex.
"We
sociologists generally don't go there, but therapists say there's a
direct correlation" between men doing more housework and the frequency
of sex, said Coltrane.
In a comment posted on the CCF website,
psychologist Joshua Coleman agreed that sharing household chores "is
associated with higher levels of marital satisfaction -- and sometimes
more sex, too!"
"Wives report greater feelings of sexual interest
and affection for husbands who participate in housework," Coleman, who
is a senior fellow at the CCF, said.
In addition to doing more
boring chores around the home, American men spend three times more time
with their kids today than they did in 1960, the study said.
The
time women spend with their children has doubled, it said, speculating
that both mothers and fathers have set higher parenting standards for
themselves.
But all that time spent parenting could have a negative effect on a couple's intimate relationship.
"The
increase in parenting hours on the part of both husbands and wives may
pose some threats to the couple relationship since many couples have
increased their time with their children by eliminating or greatly
reducing time for romance," Coleman wrote.
Happily, though, the
phenomenon of men chipping in around the home appears to be global,
Coltrane said, citing work by co-author Oriel Sullivan, a woman, who is
a professor of sociology at Ben Gurion University in Israel.
"Men everywhere are doing more," said Coltrane.
"Even Italian men and Spanish men are doing more ... not huge amounts but more than they used to," he said.
The
report praised American couples for the "remarkable progress" they have
made in sharing out the responsibilities of working and family care.
Even
if men still lag far behind women in terms of what they do around the
house, they are moving in the right direction and the gains are
unlikely to be reversed, the report summarized.
"Men are still
only doing half as much as women do, but we see the bar inching up and
we think the process is irreversible," said Coltrane.
The
hard-earned gains have been made in spite of the poor social support
system for working families in the United States, the report said.
"The
US guarantees no paid leave for mothers in any segment of the work
force, leaving it in the company of only Lesotho, Liberia, Papua New
Guinea, and Swaziland," the report said, referencing a study published
last month.
The full report on men and women sharing household
tasks is to be presented at the CCF's annual conference next month in
Chicago.
This site specializes in “marital aids” for Christian couples hoping
to avoid all the other smut that goes along with shopping for vibrators
and ticklers and whatnot, either in stores or online.
So now you can buy a “Screaming O” jelly ring or a “Tongue Dinger”
under a banner head quoting Song of Solomon, “I am my beloved’s and my
beloved is mine.”
What about equally devout Muslims or Buddhists who don’t want to
sort through “Facial Blast Fiasco” to get to their wholesome dildo?
In India, the Hindus don’t seem too happy with sex toys at all. A condom called the Crezendo, which vibrates, has attracted the wrath and scorn of public officials.
Crezendos, released nationwide six months ago,
advertise themselves as “your passport to the Republic of Pleasure”,
promising “a 20-minute joyride through the realms of vibrating
pleasure”.
“Condoms should be used for family planning,” said Kailash
Vijayvargiya, the public works minister for Madhya Pradesh, which is
governed by the Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP). These
are sex toys to be used for sexual satisfaction,” he told The Times.
“I’ve instructed government officers to check if there is a law against
such things. If there isn’t a law, we’ll make one.”
Is the usage of sex toys (i.e. replicas of men’s & women’s genitalia, etc.) between a man and his wife considered to be permissible? [1]
ANSWER by Shaykh Wasee Allaah ‘Abbaas, lecturer at the Ka’bah, instructor at Umm Al-Quraa University in Makkah
The woman has no need for such a plastic device, so long as she has her husband with her, and I really do not understand exactly how such a thing would be “used” between spouses!
Anyway, it is not permissible for anyone to engage in sexual activity in other than the ways allowed in the Sharee’ah. Since it is not permissible for either of the two spouses to reach an orgasm using their own hand, so then how could such devices be permissible?!
The principle to be applied here is what is found in Allaah’s Statement [2]:
( And those who guard their chastity well, except with their wives and their right hands’ possessions (slaves), there is no blame upon them. And whoever seeks beyond that, then they are the transgressors. )
Furious Muslims have blasted adult shop Ann Summers for selling a blow-up male doll called MUSTAFA SHAG.
They complained that the novelty sex toy insults the Prophet Muhammad � who also has the title al-Mustafa.
The High Street chain�s jokey £15 mustachioed doll has a 7in manhood and is targeted at hen parties.
Talk about intolerance! At least our fundamentalist evangelicals are
alright with a little hanky-panky. But again, toys and bible verses? Is
it still taking the Lord’s name in vain if you yell “Oh God?”
March 6, 2008
http://truffulaseed.ccpblogs.com
Short sex is best say experts
THE best sex should last just seven to 13 minutes, and even three-minute sex is "adequate", sex experts say.
But
Australian sex therapists commenting on the new research say most men
Down Under wanted it to last considerably longer while most women were
"not bothered" if it was over with fast.
The sex study is the first to review what the experts believe is the
ideal length of time to have penetrative sex, with the random sample of
Americans and Canadians labelling seven to 13 minutes most "desirable".
Intercourse lasting between three and seven minutes was deemed
"adequate", but anything less was "too short" and beyond 13 minutes was
"too long".
The study, published today in the international Journal of Sexual
Medicine, is designed help calm couples' unrealistic beliefs that
healthy sex should last a long time.
US studies show Americans expect penetrative sex to last between 15
and 20 minutes, even though self reports indicate it is over in less
than half this time.
Lead researcher Dr Eric Corty, from the Behrend College in Erie,
Pennsylvania, said this was a situation "ripe for disappointment and
dissatisfaction".
"In the fantasy model of male sexuality, men have large penises,
rock-hard erections, and can sustain sexual activity all night long,"
Dr Corty wrote.
"It appears that many men and women hold this fantasy.
"The results from the present study, by providing a realistic not a
fantasy model of sexuality, are useful both in treating people with
sexual concerns and dysfunctions, and, with wider circulation, in
preventing the onset of sexual dysfunctions."
Dr Jane Howard, a Brisbane-based medical sex therapist, said there was a dearth of data on Australians' expectation of sex.
Anecdotal evidence suggested most Australian women would be happy
with the therapists' "adequate" time of three to seven minutes, while
men would not.
"There is a major gender difference in this area," Dr Howard said.
"Usually women are quite happy with short intercourse, and are not
bothered about prolonging it at all, but nearly all men want it to be
much, much longer."
She said it was important not to obsess over the length of intercourse, with time often suspended during the act anyway.
"I mean really, who's counting?" the expert said.
March 05, 2008
http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun
More Japanese cutting out the middleman with dating sims and sex toys
"Sex is just way too much trouble," a 35-year-old man tells Shukan
Asahi (3/7), confessing that ever since he used a masturbation aid at
age 19 he's never wanted to be with a woman again. "As long as I have a
sex toy available, I don't need women. I can't come when I have sex,
and you've got to put a lot of emotion into dealing with women.
Self-pleasure is a hell of lot less demanding than trying to please
somebody else."
Young Japanese are becoming mixed up about sex. Just a few years
ago, people worried that the young were developing a practical
enjoyment of sex at too early an age, now they're getting steamed up
because growing numbers of youths are showing little or no interest in
the subject.
"There has been a definite increase in the number of men showing
signs of vaginal ejaculation dysfunction disorder, which includes such
afflictions as premature and delayed ejaculation. There are physical
reasons believed to be behind this, including prejudice against women,
past trauma and overuse of masturbatory aids so that a vagina is unable
to provide sufficient stimulation," Dr. Tsuneo Akaeda, head of the
Akaeda Clinic in Tokyo's Roppongi entertainment district, tells Shukan
Asahi.
"Some of the masturbation aids coming out nowadays are absolutely
incredible. Guys become used to using these and there is no doubt that
many men are unable to obtain the necessary satisfaction from a female
vagina that they need to ejaculate."
At least the do-it-yourself handymen, so to speak, are showing some
interest in the pleasures of the flesh. Figures from the Japanese
Association for Sex Education, which has been surveying students at
schools and universities nationwide on an annual basis since 1974, show
that there has been a dramatic decrease among young Japanese people's
interest in sex since 1999.
"That was the year by which just about every Japanese home had a
personal computer and nearly all students had their own mobile phones.
With young people dramatically increasing their use of these two pieces
of equipment, it led to the bipolarization of their sexual activity,"
Nario Kaneko, head of the association's secretariat tells Shukan Asahi,
noting that those who favored mobile phones tended to be more outgoing
and sexually adventurous, while people who pounded away at a mouse and
keyboard in front of a monitor were withdrawn and less sexually active.
Perhaps that has inspired the massive popularity of "otome" games,
role-playing dating simulation games for women where the object is to
win the heart of the computer-generated man they desire. Otome games
occupied seven of the top 20 best-selling computer software game titles
in Japan last year.
"Otome games are more than enough when it comes to love," one
21-year-old woman says. "I've already decided I'm never going to have
sex in my life. I do like watching dirty stuff, though. I've studied
adult movies and erotica, so I know about the kind of sex that pleases
guys."
Some guys, though, can't be pleased by any sort of sex at all. Take
the Zenkoku Dotei Rengo (Japan Cherry Boy Union). It was formed in the
watershed year of 1999 by a small group of virgin men who wanted to
join together to find effective techniques they could use to lose their
virginity. Membership has swelled since then to over 600. But the
dynamics of the group have changed, with divisions arising among the
rank-and-file among those who are actively pursuing sex and the
"conservative faction" whose members advocate a kind of "Cherry Boy
Power" and militantly advocate lifelong chastity.
One such member can relate to the women driving otome games to the top of the software hit charts.
"Games are magnificent when it comes to love," the 30-year-old
militant virgin tells Shukan Asahi. "The characters are all beautiful
and have great bodies. Their voices are sexy, they're kind and gentle
and show plenty of understanding. And they never hurt you. I'd say that
when it comes to looks, at least, you can't beat the world of virtual
reality. Some people say that love in the two-dimensional computer
world is all about imagination and misguided dreams, but isn't that
what love in the real world is all about, too?"
March 4, 2008
Ryann Connell
http://mdn.mainichi.jp/
A Not-So Scientific Study on Spanking and Sex
Spanking Kids Increases Risk Of Sexual Problems As Adults.
Researchers have uncovered another damaging consequence of spanking:
risky sexual behaviors, or even sexual deviancy, when the child grows
up.
Those are three headlines about a new study by long-time spanking opponent Murray Straus.
All are nonsense.Straus’s study, which does not appear to be
available yet but which is described at the links, surveyed "14,000
university students in 32 nations."The basic finding is that survey
responses about being spanked in childhood are correlated with verbally
and physically coercing someone into having sex as an adult.
Need I shout it from the rooftops?Correlation does not imply causation!
Here is a simple alternative explanation of the data.Bad kids are spanked a lot.Bad kids turn into bad adults.
I
bet MR readers can suggest several other explanations as well.In
addition, there are a number of other oddities with the study including
some which lend support to my potential alternative explanation, I’ll
mention a few of these in the extension.
By the way, I’m not a proponent of spanking.
Here are some more oddities about the study.According to this report:
"the
study found that 29 percent of the
male and 21 percent of the female students had verbally coerced sex
from another person....The percentages of those who physically forced
sex were much lower: 1.7 percentof the men and 1.2 percent of the
women...."
Don’t these percentages seem very high? Especially for the women?
And get this,
"Straus found that 15 percent of the men and 13 percent of the women
had insisted on sex without a condom at least once in the past year.
Using the four-step corporal punishment scale, Straus found that of
the group with the lowest score on the corporal punishment scale, 12.5
percent had insisted on unprotected sex. In contrast, 25 percent of
students in the highest corporal punishment group engaged in this type
of risky sex."
13 percent of the women insisted that the man not use a condom?
More importantly, I believe that there is a causal connection
between child abuse (rather than spanking) and later problems of
violence but to me a connection between the kid being spanked and later
engaging in risky sex is especially suggestive that the connection is a
risk-loving person.Children who take a lot of risks, like running out
on to the street a lot, are going to get spanked more.Later these
same children also engage in risky activities.Not having seen the
data I would be willing to bet that spanking is also correlated with
skydiving, not wearing your seatbelt, gambling, and many other risky
behaviors which are plausible not caused by spanking.
Finally, how about this for a non-sequiter of the day:
"because over 90 percent of U.S. parents spank toddlers, the potential
benefits for prevention of sexual and relationship violence is large,”
Straus says."
March 3, 2008
http://www.agoravox.com
'100 000 Years of Sex' opens in Germany
Trier, Germany - Erotic carvings and excavated Roman artefacts
connected to sex will go on display on Saturday in Germany's
best-preserved ancient Roman city, Trier.
The temporary exhibition, 100 000 Years of Sex, comprises 250 items, mainly archaeological.
They date back to the Stone Age and show how our ancestors experienced
lust and procreation, said Mechthild Neyses-Eiden, deputy director of
the museum.
Devised in the Netherlands and first mounted in 2003 in another museum,
the exhibition is being supplemented at the Rhenish Museum in Trier
with about 50 local Roman-period artefacts recovered by archaeologists.
Trier - called Treveris by the Romans - has several well-preserved
buildings, such as a town gate, an arena and a church, from the time
when it was a principal northern city of the late Roman empire.
The original exhibition includes primitive objects representing
feminine charms, explicit pictures on Greek vases, a medieval chastity
belt and an 1813 item described as the world's oldest condom.
The show, inaugurated with a party on Thursday evening, runs from
Saturday till June 22. It will be repeated for the last time in the
German city of Heilbronn in July 2009.
Neyses-Eiden said it was important to study past attitudes to sex in a
neutral way. She said the show illustrated how different historical
periods had differing attitudes.
"Things we regard as normal now were regarded as revolting in medieval
times," she said. Referring to child sex, she noted that some things
allowed among the Greeks were taboo or illegal nowadays. - Sapa-dpa
February 29 2008 www.iol.co.za
Sex Toys at Spencer's
DURHAM (WTVD) --
A story about morality at the mall. Local parents are upset that a
chain of stores is selling sexually provocative items at malls all over
the Triangle.
Parents are so fired up, they've gone to the Attorney General,
police and now Troubleshooter Diane Wilson. This isn't just one parent
outraged, it's literally dozens and they're on a mission to keep adult
items out of the reach of their children.
The stores in
question are Spencer's Gifts. It's a national chain that's always been
a bit edgy. When you go to Spencer's you know you'll find gag gifts,
whoopee cushions and things you wouldn't find anywhere else in the
mall. But things have changed. Spencer's now sell sex games, sex
manuals even sex toys. Jay Peters is one of the upset parents. He tells
Troubleshooter Diane Wilson, "To know that he can walk into Spencer's
and buy something like this is very alarming." These parents were so
fired up actually brought us a bag full of sexual items that they say
they bought at Spencer's. Carol Shepard says, "I went in to see for
myself and it was disgusting." She adds she was in a local Spencer's a
year-and-a-half ago and witnessed two teens buying an oral sex
enhancer. She says she was so offended she confronted the clerk. She
says, "I said would you sell these to young kids and he said oh yeah
the only thing we can't sell them is lighter fluid." Laura Hall says
she got the shock of her life when she and her kids went in to buy a
gag gift for her husband's birthday. She adds, "My 11 year old walked
up with a sex toy and asked what it was."
Some of these parents have been on this crusade for more than two
years. They even took a video camera in to a local store to document
just how graphic they say some of the stuff is. When they tried to post
it on YouTube to educate others, it got flagged as inappropriate and
restricted to people 18 and older. Virginia Dirschl adds, "So the
question to me is how is this to the YouTube standards pornographic but
in our town of Durham, NC is it ok?" Some of these parents even took
their fight to the Attorney General's office and police, but say they
got nowhere. Will Hodges says, "I think there's laws out there. There's
clearly a law of what's pornographic or not, it's just the enforcement
of it. It just seems like this falls between a crack if they AG won't
address it, and the police force won't address it unless there's a
victim."
So we decided to see for ourselves. With their
parents' consent, we sent three girls ages 13 and 14 into the Spencer's
at Durham's Northgate Mall. The girls were armed with a hidden camera
to see what they could buy. The girls checked out sexually explicit
greeting cards and they played with a necklace made of beads and toy
penises. They even picked up a phallic-shaped cup. Then, they went to
check out the selection of vibrators and other sex toys. A sales person
asked them if they were 18. When they answered no, she said you can't
be back here. But when they went to check out, they had no problem
buying three things many would consider adult items. They were able to
buy a penis neckalce, a birthday card with a pop up penis inside and
'also Boinkin' Bunnies. The "Boinkin' Bunnies are two toy rabbits that
vibrate, moan, and simulate sex. On the box it says 'For Adults Only'
and 'ages 18+' right on the box. These girls were only 13 & 14.
To
be fair to Spencer's, we sent different teens to a different mall to
see what they could buy. This time, our undercover subjects were boys
ages 15 and 16. With their parents' okay they went to the Spencer's at
Durham's Streets at Southpoint. The boys roamed the store freely
checking out explicit items including the selection of dozens of
vibrators. But, when they went to buy the vibrator and a sex game the
clerk asked if the boys were 18. When they said no, she said they can't
buy them. Unlike the girls, they left with nothing.
This is a
small consolation for the parents who don't think the kids should even
be able to see them or pick them up in the first place. Lynne Mourman
says "They need to put it behind the counter, where they have to ask
for it, where they can't look at it, where they have to show id, we
consider it pornographic items that should be sold to people who are
over the age of 18." The parents are happy that the first clerk
confronted the girls, and the second clerk denied the boys. But they
still can't believe the kids were able to see what they saw, touch what
they touched and in the girls' case, buy what they bought. They say
they don't have a problem with Spencer's selling adult items, they just
think they should only admit 18 and older like other adult stores in
the triangle. They say they won't stop fighting until that happens.
As for Spencer's Gifts, they responded to Troubleshooter Diane Wilson with this statement.
"Since
1947, Spencer's has been committed to creating an exciting,
entertaining and unique store experience for our core 18 to 24 year-old
guests. Within our broad, eclectic mix of merchandise, a small
percentage has an adult theme and has been available in Spencer's for
decades. By policy, Spencer's management and associates have had an
obligation and responsibility to the community to discourage the sale
of items with an adult theme to persons under the age of majority.
Spencer's understands its obligation to maintain an environment of
trust appropriate for the over one hundred million guests annually who
patronize our six hundred stores nationwide. In every location,
Spencer's informs its guests, before entering that a small portion of
adult-themed merchandise is on display in the rear of the store. In
this way, Spencer's will continue in its sixty-year tradition as the
authentic destination for fun, humor and unique merchandise targeted to
our core 18 to 24 year-old guests, while respecting the interests of
all individuals who visit our stores."
By Diane Wilson
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
abc11.com
How Do I Dump a Submissive Who Does My Dishes and Gives Me Blowjobs?
Q: At first glance, I am the guy your mother wants you to marry:
successful, sweet, clean-shaven. Below the surface, I am the guy your
mother warned you about: pierced tongue, tattoos, a ton of kinks. A
couple of months ago, I met a woman who wanted to be a sex slave. We
talked about relationship expectations, and because of a few
deal-breakers—she is older than me, she has kids from a past marriage,
our career goals differ—we said that this wasn't going anywhere beyond
a temporary fling. Now she comes to my house a couple of times a week,
puts on lingerie, blows me, does my dishes, blows me, gets tied
up/spanked, picks up my dirty laundry, blows me again, and then leaves.
Needless to say, I am quite happy with the situation.
Now I have met a great woman whom I like, and am looking to start a
"normal" relationship with (read: still hot kinky sex, just no need for
her to crawl on all fours when she enters my house, as fun as that is
to watch). She has been hurt before and wants to spend a long time
"getting to know each other" before we move toward anything physical.
We have both acknowledged that we are interested in pursuing a
relationship, just not yet. Given my situation, i.e., all those
blowjobs from the submissive, I have no problems waiting as long as
girlfriend material wants before we start something physical.
My question is on dom/sub slave etiquette. Assuming that things with
this new woman work out, at what point should I break up with my sub?
Should I tell her about the other woman? Should I tell her in advance
we are ending ("Your next visit will be our last"), or should I just
ask her to come over and break up then ("We both knew this was only
going to last so long")? Do I help her find a new dom? This isn't a
regular breakup, so I'm not really sure how to do it. My sub loves to
serve, so would it be cheating on my next girlfriend if I let her keep
doing domestic tasks for me, but nothing sexual? Should I tell my next
girlfriend that I had a sex slave for a while? —Deciding On Method
A: Hmm. My mother never warned me about guys with piercings,
tattoos, or kinks. My mother did, however, warn me about guys who think
a hidden tattoo or a discreet piercing somehow makes them more
interesting than they actually are. "Those guys are always douchebags,"
my mother used to say. Still does. But, hey, my mom isn't the guest
expert you need.
"The fact that you're having a dominant/submissive relationship with
this older woman is immaterial," says Mistress Matisse, a pro dom,
expert flogger, and prolific blogger (mistressmatisse.blogspot.com).
"It's an intimate sexual relationship, so forget d/s in your handling
of this. It's clear that you'd be happy to continue on with them both,
at least for a while, so the question is more polyamory skills than
BDSM etiquette."
So what does Matisse think you should do? "Tell both women exactly
what's going on, immediately," Matisse continues. "Your
girlfriend-to-be wants to get to know you? Well, if she can't handle
the fact that you've been having a d/s relationship, you better find
that out now. Her response will certainly give you a clue as to how
kinky your future sex life with her might be. But full disclosure,
pronto, is best. Anyone who has been 'hurt before' is apt to be touchy
about discovering perceived dishonesty down the road." And what about
your sub? "Your submissive is also deserving of your honesty," says
Matisse. "She may decide she wants to end your relationship, or she may
be willing to continue in a nonsexual arrangement if that's offered
her. If you are extremely lucky, your submissive and your GF-to-be may
decide they can co-exist in some fashion, at least for now. God knows
I've dated men who really needed someone to pick up after them, and I
sure as hell wasn't going to do it."
And how does one properly break up with a submissive, if it comes to that?
"Make a date with your submissive and respectfully inform her that
you are ending the relationship," says Matisse. "Wish her well and say
goodbye—no last blowjobs for the road. And do not offer to find her a
new dominant—trust me, she'll have no trouble at all finding another
dominant to accept an arrangement like the one you've described."
by Dan Savage
February 26th, 2008 12:00 AM http://www.VillageVoice.com
Mac owners officially sexier than Windows
Computer users argue over many statistics, but when it comes to sex toys: Mac users spend more on adult recreation than Windows users; but it's Linux users that invest the most in enhancing the pleasures of the flesh, an adult toys website claims.
Adult toy seller Lovehoney has published its Google Analytics logs, which show the system platform preferences of its sensation-seeking customer base.
As reported by Reg Hardware: "Mac users spent an average of five minutes 56 seconds on the site, just ahead of Linux users' five minutes 16 seconds and Windows folks' five minutes 14 seconds."
The report claims Linux users spend on average £48.55 when they shop on the site, Mac users £40.38 and Windows users £35.90. iPhone users are also reportedly purchasing hanky-panky products using their device, spending slighly less than Windows users do on average, £34.59. iPod touch users spend £31.76.
This report into the sexual significance of operating systems emerges scant days since the publication of new research from the University of Portsmouth.
Cybersex expert Dr Trudy Barber (who doesn't reveal which OS she uses) earlier this week delivered a Royal Society lecture during which she disclosed that fetishism and sexual proclivities are helping change the way people use technology.
Dr Barber, an expert on cyberspace and sexual subcultures, has spent years researching how people's sexual choices help shape new technology, including the internet, which she likens to the development of video players which brought pornographic films into the home in the late 1970s.
"Computer technology touches so many aspects of our lives it's really not so surprising that it would infiltrate and influence our sex lives. In contemporary western society sex is for pleasure and for entertainment and computers will have an increasing role to play," she said.
She observes: "The role of deviation as a key to innovation must not be overlooked as it will contribute to our understanding of new intimacy, culture and the future of developing information and communications technologies."
Wednesday, 06 February 2008
Jonny Evans
MacWorld.co.uk
Report: Physical Therapy May Alleviate Painful Sex for Women
In a time when sex is no longer a taboo subject, many women are harboring a secret — they suffer from chronic pain due to sexual intercourse, according to ABC News.
It is reported that at any given point, about 16 percent of women are experiencing pain due to sexual intercourse, said Dr. Elizabeth Stewart, director of the Vulvovaginal Service at Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates and an associate professor at Harvard Medical School who wrote “The V Book” on the subject.
These women report “a stinging, a stretching,” or feel “like it’s ripping you apart,” after having intercourse, ABC News reported.
Even the best gynecologists are struggling to find answers as to why chronic sexual pain persists.
However, physical therapy could be the answer to a woman’s painful problem, according to the report.
Raquel Perlis, a physical therapist based in Wellesley, Mass., treats 10 women a day for this very problem, it is reported.
Her patients and their partners learn how to stretch and massage their pelvic floor muscles. Another form of therapy that Perlis uses includes biofeedback.
February 25, 2008
FoxNews.com
Germans discover world's oldest dildo
German scientists are tickled pink after unearthing one of the
world's oldest sculpted phalluses - 20cm of polished siltstone lovingly
created around 28,000 years ago.
The stone schlong was discovered in Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm,
Swabia, by a Tübingen University team. Professor Nicholas Conard, from
the university's snappily-named department of Early Prehistory and
Quaternary Ecology, explained
the excitment to the BBC thus: "Female representations with highly
accentuated sexual attributes are very well documented at many sites,
but male representations are very, very rare."
Indeed, although other examples of male genitalia - from France and
Morocco - predate the Ulm member, to have "any representation of male
genitalia from this time period is highly unusual".
There may be a good reason for this - the German sausage bears the
scars of having been used to knap flints, and was reassembled from 14
fragments. Despite this abuse, and in a delicious leap of imagination,
Conard speculates that the life-size member may have been used as a
prehistoric sex toy. As he suggestively notes: "It's highly polished."
Those interested in the sex lives of our distant ancestors will be
able to cop an eyeful of the Hohle Fels phallus when it goes on show at
a Blaubeuren prehistoric museum exhibition entitled "Ice Art - Clearly
Male". ®
originally reported 27th July 2005
Lester Haines
theregister.co.uk
Is Ricky Really a Sex Offender?
When Ricky was 16, he went to a teen club
and met a girl named Amanda, who said she was the same age. They hit it
off and were eventually having sex. At the time Ricky thought it was a
pretty normal high school romance.
Two years later, Ricky is a registered sex offender, and his life is destroyed.
Amanda turned out to be 13. Ricky was arrested, tried as an adult, and
pleaded guilty to the charge of lascivious acts with a child, which is
a class D felony in Iowa. It is not disputed that the sex was
consensual, but intercourse with a 13-year-old is illegal in Iowa.
Ricky was sentenced to two years probation and 10 years on the Iowa
online sex offender registry. Ricky and his family have since moved to
Oklahoma, where he will remain on the state’s public registry for life.
Being labeled a sex offender has completely changed Ricky’s life,
leading him to be kicked out of high school, thrown out of parks,
taunted by neighbors, harassed by strangers, and unable to live within
2,000 feet of a school, day-care center or park. He is prohibited from
going to the movies or mall with friends because it would require
crossing state borders, which he cannot do without permission from his
probation officer. One of Ricky’s neighbors called the cops on him,
yelled and cursed at him, and videotaped him every time he stepped
outside, Ricky said.
“It affects you in every way,” he said.
“You’re scared to go out places. You’re on the Internet, so everybody
sees your picture.”
His mother, Mary, said the entire family has
felt the ramifications of Ricky being labeled a sex offender. His
younger brother has been ridiculed at school and cannot have friends
over to the house; his stepfather has been harassed; the parents’
marriage has been under tremendous pressure; and strangers used to show
up at their door to badger the family. One neighbor came to the house
and told Mary he wasn’t going to leave them alone until they took their
“child rapist” away, so they moved, she said.
California is
currently deciding if it will comply with a federal sex offender act
that would put adolescent sex offenders as young as 14 on a national
public registry, like the one Ricky is on in Oklahoma. Supporters say
the act would improve public safety, but critics argue it would
stigmatize thousands of teenagers. The law, called the Adam Walsh Child
Protection and Safety Act of 2006, would require states to submit
information on youth deemed delinquent in juvenile court of aggravated
sexual abuse to the registry.
Juveniles affected by the act
would range from those who used force or drugs to rape another person,
to those who have had any sexual contact with a child under the age of
12. If a 14-year-old touches an 11-year-old’s penis, the 14-year-old
would be eligible for the public registry.
Human rights
advocates and even some prominent sex crime prevention groups warn this
is one more act in a long list of sex-offender laws across the country
that appeals to voters but is ineffective and counterproductive. They
argue that almost all sex offender laws in the United States fail to
solve the problem of sex crimes because they drive people underground,
block paths to treatment and focus on a high-profile case, like that of
6-year-old Adam Walsh, who was abducted from a Florida department store
and killed in 1981, and miss the fuller picture of sexual violence.
A few heinous, high-profile sex crimes capture the media’s attention,
and the result is more Draconian sex-offender laws, such as Megan’s Law
and Jessica’s Law, said Sarah Tofte of Human Rights Watch, which
recently released a report on sex-offender laws called “No Easy
Answers: Sex Offender Laws in the U.S.”
“We have created these
laws and we apply them to anyone convicted of a sex crime regardless of
their risk to the community,” Tofte said.
Megan’s Law requires public registration for adult sex offenders. If Jessica’s Law,
approved by voters in 2006, overcomes challenges in court, it would
prohibit adult registered sex offenders from living 2,000 feet within a
school or park and require those paroled from prison to wear lifetime
GPS monitors. Unlike the Adam Walsh Act, Megan’s Law and Jessica’s Law
generally do not affect registered juveniles, according to California
Deputy Attorney General Janet Neeley.
While the media focuses
on the stories of the child being raped and killed by a stranger, the
Human Rights Watch report states that 80-90 percent of the offenses
against children are committed by someone the victim knows.
If
California complies with the Adam Walsh Act, the law would be
retroactive, and the offenders would be listed on the registry for
life. They would be classified as Tier III offenders and forced to
register with law enforcement authorities every three months, or risk
being charged with a felony and going to prison for at least one year.
The act, sponsored by Wisconsin Republican Congressman F. James
Sensenbrenner, Jr. and 37 co-sponsors – including former Florida
representative Mark Foley – was signed into law by President Bush on
July 27, 2006, and gives states three years to comply or risk losing 10
percent of federal Byrne money, which are law enforcement grants worth
$5 million in California. The Department of Justice is formulating the
final guidelines.
Congressional co-sponsors of the law and
crime-victim advocates have hailed the bill as an opportunity to
improve community safety by increasing penalties for sex crimes, better
tracking of sex offenders, and making it harder for predators to reach
children on the Internet.
“The Adam Walsh Act intends to
register convicted sexual offenders, 14 and older, who have committed
the most violent sexual abuses,” said California Congressman Ken
Calvert, a Republican from Riverside, in an e-mail. “If a juvenile has
committed such a crime, the safety of our community and children
supersedes the rights of the juvenile who, at the age of 14,
understands the difference between right and wrong.”
A father pleas for
harsh penalties
Child-protection advocates argue that it is more important to hold
juvenile sex offenders responsible for their actions than to worry
about them being stigmatized by the registry or punished too harshly.
“We have to put the safety of our kids before the civil rights of
someone who’s already proven they will hurt a kid,” said Mark Zyla, who
became an activist for tougher sex offender laws after his two
daughters were sexually assaulted in separate instances. “Being on the
registry doesn’t keep people from rehabilitating; it doesn’t keep them
from getting a job. It may be more difficult, but that’s part of the
consequence of hurting a young child.”
Zyla’s daughter Amie was
violently sexually assaulted by a 14-year-old, Joshua Wade, when she
was eight. Wade was a family friend and attacked Amie, who is now 20,
during a sleepover party at her house, Mark Zyla said. Wade was tried
as a juvenile and sent to a juvenile detention center. But because his
record was sealed, he was able to later get a job at a summer camp,
where he went on to assault more young girls. He has since been
sentenced to 25 years in prison.
The Zylas helped pass a law in
their home state of Wisconsin to enable law enforcement officials to
release information on juvenile sex offenders if they pose a threat to
society. They then lobbied Congress to pass the federal Adam Walsh Act.
If states comply with the Adam Walsh Act, Mark Zyla said, local
law-enforcement agencies would know about juvenile sex offenders like
Wade and be able to inform schools and places of employment.
Los
Angeles Police Department detectives said registries significantly help
them track down sex offenders. If they have an unsolved sex crime, they
can take the description of the suspect, plug it into the database and
look for a match, said Detective Diane Webb, a supervisor of LAPD’s
sex-offender registration and tracking program.
The DNA and
registration databases enable detectives to clear old cases and find
patterns of crime, said Detective Jesse Alvarado of LAPD’s rape special
section.
The registries also help inform the public, Webb said.
“Not only does registration give law enforcement a first place to look,
it also provides information to the public,” she said. She added that
people should be allowed to know if sex offenders live in their
community so they can, at the very least, decide if they want to date
them or have them baby-sit their children.
The detectives
disagree on whether the registry should include juveniles, who commit
17 percent of all sex offenses and about a third of all sex offenses
against children, according to the National Center on Sexual Behavior
of Youth. Alvarado said he thinks it would be helpful to have a
database like the Adam Walsh one for juvenile offenders. “Giving us an
ability to look for somebody would always be a good thing,” Alvarado
said.
Webb said she agreed with juvenile justice experts that juveniles should be treated differently from adults.
One of the reasons the law came into effect was because of the more
than 100,000 missing or non-compliant sex offenders. They are part of
the 603,000 registered sex offenders nationwide, according to the
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.
“When
they’re on the run and they’re not compliant, they become more
dangerous,” Mark Zyla said. “They’re not getting their treatment and
they’re free to do whatever they want.”
Supporters also said
juveniles would not be stigmatized for life because a section of the
law stipulates that youth deemed delinquent in juvenile court can get
off the registry after 25 years if they are not convicted of another
sex crime and have successfully completed a sex offender treatment
program.
However, juvenile justice advocates, public defenders and prominent sex crime prevention groups have
criticized the law, arguing that it would make it harder for youth to
reintegrate into society, further break from the tradition of treating
children differently from adults, be ineffective, and cost the state
millions.
“Imagine writing down the worst thing you ever did
when you were a teenager, or an adult, and being forced to put that on
a placard on your forehead. This is, in effect, what registration does
to these youth,” L.A. County Deputy Public Defender Maureen Pacheco
wrote in an e-mail.
“They must disclose these offenses when
they apply for school, when they apply for jobs, if they want to get
licensed or bonded,” she wrote. “In other words, in all the ways a
youth might seek to become rehabilitated, we shut the door.”
The case for leniency
Juvenile justice advocates said they fear the Adam Walsh Act would make
it harder to rehabilitate young sex offenders because it would
ostracize them from society. There is no direct research showing the
psycho-social effects of registering on youth, say experts.
“But common sense would tell you that having your name, picture, and
home address on the Internet as a sex offender at age 8, 12, or even 14
could be devastating in terms of peer relationships, community
[relations], ability to stay in school, and involvement in church
activities,” said Dr. Barbara Bonner, an expert on sex offenses and
co-director of the Adolescent Sex Offender Treatment Program at the
University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center.
The law is
counterproductive because young people are more likely to be
rehabilitated and successful in the future if they get involved with
social activities like sports, bands, choir, or a job, she said.
Juvenile justice advocates also criticize the law for treating and
punishing youth as adults rather than focusing on rehabilitation. The
basic concept of the juvenile justice system is to treat young people
differently from adult offenders because they are considered less
responsible for their actions and more receptive to rehabilitation and
treatment.
Almost every state ensures that if a child is
adjudicated or deemed delinquent – juvenile court does not convict
youth – he or she does not have to submit information to a public
registry, according to Tara Andrews of the Coalition for Juvenile
Justice, a national nonprofit comprised of governor-appointed advisory
groups. Andrews said she finds the Adam Walsh Act most troublesome
because it “reaches out and grabs kids who were adjudicated as
juveniles. The Adam Walsh Act sweeps in and says we still want these
kids on the registry.”
Critics also fear it will cost millions
of dollars to follow and would not be worth the money the state might
lose for not complying. If the federal Attorney General’s office finds
that California has not made a “good faith conduct” to comply with the
Adam Walsh Act, the Attorney General can reduce the federal Byrne funds
allocated to that jurisdiction for law enforcement resources.
“We think the cost of compliance might greatly outweigh the benefits of losing 10 percent of the Byrne funds,” said Pacheco.
Critics fear the massive costs will include applying this law to a
state as populated as California, complying with the federal
classification system and DNA collection.
It costs more to enact
a federal act than individual state laws because a federal law does not
take into consideration a state’s specific needs and resources, said
Robert Coombs of the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault, a
statewide coalition of rape crisis centers and prevention programs.
It would also be costly because the categories the federal government
uses to distinguish between different levels of sex crimes do not match
the ones California uses. The federal act assigns sex offenders to a
numbered level, while California uses other distinctions, such as
“sexually violent predator.” To comply, California would have to either
run two concurrent leveling systems or completely revamp its present
system, Coombs said.
Another cost would be gathering the DNA
samples of individuals affected by the Adam Walsh Act. Adults and
juveniles convicted of any felony or sex offense already have their DNA
collected, but the cost for testing DNA samples has exceeded
expectations. The Los Angeles Police Department needs $9.3 million to
clear up a backlog of untested samples. Since the Adam Walsh Act is
retroactive, it would require collection and analysis of DNA samples
from adults and juveniles convicted before the DNA regulations, which
did not start until 2004.
Supporters of the law argue the high cost of putting the act into effect is worth the safety of the community.
“There just is no higher purpose for government than keeping the public
safe,” said Will Smith, State Senator George Runner’s spokesperson. The
Antelope Valley Republican sponsored Jessica’s Law.
Recidivism
rates fail to prove the law effective or counterproductive, and both
advocates and critics of the law use the statistics to support their
arguments. Data from the Justice Department shows that 5.3 percent of
male sex offenders released from prisons in 15 states in 1994 were
rearrested for a new sex crime within three years of release. Juvenile
justice advocates, on the other hand, look at recidivism rates among
teenagers, which show that the rates of sexual re-offense are
substantially lower, at 5 to 18 percent, than the rates for other
delinquent behavior, which is 8 to 58 percent, according to the
National Center on Sexual Behavior of Youth.
The California Sex
Offender Management Board will evaluate the law and might recommend to
the legislature and governor whether it should be complied with,
according to board chair Suzanne Brown-McBride. The decision rests with
Attorney General Jerry Brown, Gov. Schwarzenegger and the Legislature.
California is home to 90,000 registered adult sex offenders and 2,528
registered juvenile sex offenders.
“The state is reviewing the
act and evaluating the potential impact it will have on the state,”
said Gareth Lacy, a Brown spokesman. “California has a long history of
setting tough laws mandating sex-offender registration.”
Runner
will be watching the outcome. If California’s current laws do not
conform to the federal act, the state senator plans to introduce a bill.
Ricky is now 19 and trying to bring some normalcy back to his life. But
that’s practically impossible. In between monthly meetings with his
probation officer, he’s been trying to find a job.
However,
employers haven’t been eager to hire a registered sex offender. He
wants to get a college degree, yet that, too, is problematic. He’s
worried his classmates would find him on the registry and start
harassing him. “I have to watch my back all of the time,” he said.
“Once people find out, they panic. They don’t know the real story.”
New York condoms, Texas dildos: When sex toys are legal and contraceptives are free, are we not doomed?
Is it a good day in America?
Is it a good time to be in this broke, disgraced, sexually bewildered
country when the lumbering and lost state of Texas finally crawls,
lurching and sputtering and blinking hard, into the 19th century as it
finally, against its will, is forced by the courts to allow sex toys to be sold to adults,
thus leaving only Alabama and a bit of Georgia to stare into the void
of their own unused genitalia and scream in abject terror?
Is it, furthermore, a better and brighter day for all
Americakind when the lumbering and lost Federal Communications
Commission still wants to fine ABC Television $1.4 million for showing a glimpse of a naked female butt
on an episode of the now-defunct "NYPD Blue" five years ago, even
though all the little kids who were ostensibly traumatized by said ass
are now about 12 years old and into ultraviolent video games and
hooking up on MySpace and choking each other to death, and the FCC's move is
not
considered a distressing, dire prediction of oppressive things to come,
but rather a forgettable trifle, a shrug, a silly little footnote?
Is it not, finally, good to know that you now can, when in New York City, stroll into any number of bars or fine urban locales and grab yourself a free, official NYC condom or five, and also a nice packet of lubricant, all on the city's dime?
And what's more, not only are they complimentary and available
citywide, and not only is there an impressive accompanying ad campaign
for the second year of the groundbreaking program (TV, print, subway
billboards, Web site)
hawking said latex fun-sheaths and encouraging you to "get some," but
the packaging is actually created by a semi-famous industrial designer
(Yves Béhar) and the campaign itself actually
isn't insulting
or shy or demeaning as it dares to suggest that young adult Americans
might actually enjoy sex and therefore, oh my God, wouldn't it be fun
to get some today? The horror.
I am here to say yes, yes indeed, it is all quite good,
refreshing, even a little promising, even if you don't really notice,
even if it all seems minor and insignificant, overshadowed by looming
recessions and lost wars and the bleak, bleak, bleak BushCo End of
Days.
See, there was a time, just a handful of miserable years ago,
when it all felt dour and sad and pathetic, when John "anoint my feet
in oil" Ashcroft ruled the porn-obsessed Justice Department and
worthless abstinence education was being forced down the throat of the
educational system and the fundamentalist Christians were stabbing at
the culture like unhappy vultures tearing at a carcass.
It was a time when major media was eating its own tail in fear
of getting fined for allowing the slightest illicit or sexually
suggestive infraction, as Michael Powell's Bush-controlled FCC went on
the warpath, behaving like some sort of gnarled sexually uptight
Megatron who hated women and never masturbated, desperate to crack down
on the slightest naughty infraction, from Bono saying "f-" at the
Golden Globes to Howard Stern talking dirty to porn stars for the
benefit of his audience of overweight frat guys and lonely cab drivers.
It was quite a ride. From Ashcroft covering the nipples of Lady
Justice with heavy cloth to the massive, insane outcry against Janet
Jackson, it all culminated in 2005, in the Republican-controlled
Congress ramming through the inane Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act,
which increased tenfold the penalty the FCC could impose on broadcast
media, to $325,000 per violation.
But now, oh, now how quaint it all seems, the Bush
administration's dark and sexually repressive cloud actually proving to
be nothing but a sticky mist, a passing pink puff of rancid gas, so
many of the fundie Christians/congressmen proving to be secretly gay
and the nation itself proving very quickly to be rather sick of the
entire gaggle of Jesus-terrified henchmen.
What's more, the FCC's ominous threats suddenly feel moot and
meaningless, especially given the upsurge of shows like "The L-Word"
and "Californication" and "Tell Me You Love Me" and who the hell cares
if they can show nipples and butts on network TV? The landscape is
changing, far faster and more powerfully than any hypocritical
conservative movement could ever comprehend, much less contain.
The signs are in place. The tone is shifting. Despite a
misogynistic Supreme Court, despite the Christian right's desperate
attempt to instill Taliban-grade prohibitions and constrictions around
sex for the past seven years (well, more like 2,000 years. But that's
another column), Texans can now buy dildos to go with their Sunday
sodomy, condoms and lube are free all over New York City, abstinence
education has proven to be a massive failure and the flatulent bout of
Christian-led sexual hysteria has, at least for the moment, largely
passed.
Oh, there will still be blips and triggers. There will still
be Christian rock and "True Love Waits" and cute little Web sites
extolling the virtues of teen virginity, of making nifty little pledges
not to have sex until you're married and/or no longer a Republican or
no longer absolutely horrified at the notion of your own vulva.
And yes, broadcast media will remain terribly uptight for a
while longer. There will still be, for example, the producers of this
year's bland-as-death Grammy Awards, who actually asked Amy Winehouse
to please cover up the nipples
on the bare-breasted pinup girl she has tattooed on her arm because
some Americans might be confused and offended. (In response, Winehouse
simply took some black eyeliner and drew a nice "bra" over the nipples,
and middle America breathed a huge sigh of relief because oh my God,
nipples. Our great national scourge.)
What's more, many issues remain volatile. The gay marriage war,
for example, is far from over, though it now seems the most difficult
battle has been won. The hull has been breached. The rainbow-colored
cat is very much out of the bag. Wail as the fundamentalists might, the
feeling now is that gay marriage — like women's suffrage, like
interracial marriage, like the notion of a black or female president —
is no longer a matter of if, only
when.
This is the feeling. The straps are loosening. The legs are
parting. The repressive sexual ideology of the right has, quite
naturally, failed. So please, America, go buy your dildos in Texas and
grab your free condoms in NYC, safe in the knowledge that the
temperature of the national body, once frigid and clenched, appears to
be warming up.
Can you feel it? Won't you do the right thing, and "get some" yourself?
A Florida church leader is challenging married members of his congregation to have sex every day for a month.
The challenge for single parishioners is slightly different, though - to abstain from sex for 30 days, reports Sky News.
Paul Wirth, head pastor of the Relevant Church in Ybor City, said the marathon undertaking could help cut high divorce rates.
He said: "Couples across America are struggling in their relationships, both married and single people.
"For married people it seems like the sex is great up front but then for some reason life happens.
"But when you're single it's like you're always thinking about it and you're like, man I'd like to have it as much as possible.
"And sometimes that prevents them from having a great really healthy relationship later on when you do get married."
The Relevant Church describes itself as "a casual, contemporary
Christian church" and says its services are designed "specifically for
urban professionals and young families".
Mr Wirth's previous sermons have included using hit film Shrek The Third to explain "what happens when we trust God".
February 19, 2008 ananova.com
If it's great sex you want, it may be time to pray
A FLYER promising "the best sex you'll ever have" wouldn't
normally lead straight to church, but that's the invitation 25,000
households around Eltham and Montmorency received last week.
Last night Riverside Church launched a four-week series on sex,
marriage, adultery and pornography.
The flyer features two pairs of feet — belonging to
Riverside pastor Andrew Newbold and his wife Megan —
protruding from under the sheets. It says sex is supposed to be
fun, so why does it feel like everyone else is having all the fun?
It's not supposed to leave you feeling guilty, frustrated or
empty.
"Lots of people have asked, 'why would the church want to talk
about sex in the first place?' That's a ridiculous question because
everyone else is talking about it, and it's something God created,"
Mr Newbold says.
"At Riverside we deal mostly with young adults, who have been
more exposed to sexuality than any previous generation, but that
doesn't mean they are handling it well. There's a lot of confusion
out there."
He rattles off statistics: people are having sex younger, with
an average age of 15.8 years at first encounter, and relationships
are getting shorter, at an average of three months. The largest
consumers of internet pornography are children aged 12 to 17.
In America, he says, 90% of eight to 16-year-olds have viewed
online pornography, 80% of that hardcore. One in six Australian men
has paid for sex, while 26% of women and 8% of men say they have
been forced or frightened into unwanted sexual activity.
So a teaching series on sex is needed, Mr Newbold says. Last
night he talked about the link between human sexuality and God,
next week deals with affairs and adultery — "how to
affair-proof your marriage, because it doesn't begin when you book
a hotel room," he says — week three is on sex and singles, and
week four asks what's the big deal about pornography.
Riverside Church, launched five years ago in Montmorency with a
congregation of 16, now attracts about 350 people to its Sunday
service.
Previous teaching series have dealt with relationship baggage,
identity and finances. The next, later in the year, is on
secrets.
Barney Zwartz February 18, 2008
theage.com.au
Selling Sex Toys Now Legal In Texas
Feeling lonely in the Lone Star State this Valentine's Day? You'll be glad to know that the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals has just overturned a statute outlawing sex toy sales in Texas.
According to a law on the books since the 1970s, the sale, promotion, donation or lending of "obscene devices" was punishable by up to two years in jail. And all it took to "promote" was a goodie drawer of six or more.
The statute was seldom enforced. But the owners of two Austin sex shops, as well as a retail distributor doing business as Adam & Eve, claimed it hindered their business and deprived potential customers. The state argued that it had a moral basis for maintaining the law, "discouraging prurient interests in autonomous sex and the pursuit of sexual gratification unrelated to procreation."
The 5th Circuit, however, found that sexual privacy supersedes that morality. The court cited Lawrence v. Texas, the 2003 U.S. Supreme Court decision that struck down bans on consensual sex between same-sex couples. The 5th Circuit, siding 2-1, said it is unconstitutional to punish individuals selling sexual devices, since those devices are typically used in the privacy of people's homes.
Alabama and Mississippi now remain the only states where sales of sex toys is illegal, though several other states have restrictions. The defenders of those laws say it would be dangerous to make sex toys more easily accessible. They note that sexual addiction is a recognized mental disorder, and they worry that sex toys may encourage that.
So has Texas opened up a Pandora's box here? Or has the Lone Star State simply opened its mind?
By Emil Steiner
February 14, 2008; 10:30 AM ET
washingtonpost.com
Deep Inside the World of Porn
Porn has been threatening to go mainstream for quite some time now.
Time magazine warned of it all the way back in 1998. But this year,
they have finally achieved their much heralded objective. The Adult
Video News (AVN) Awards, considered by most to be the Oscars of porn,
were covered this year by the CBS program, Sunday Morning. Sunday
Morning! If you aren't familiar with the show that's probably because
it's a news magazine program watched exclusively by people over 60. Not
to knock Sunday Morning or Bill Geist's humorous report; I just use
this to highlight that if my grandmother knows who Tera Patrick is,
porn has most definitely arrived.
Preceding the yearly AVN Awards is the yearly AVN Adult Entertainment
Exposition, known to most as the Porn Convention, but to insiders as
the AEE. Originally a small subsection of their annual neighboring
convention, the Consumer Electronics Show, the AEE grew large enough
that AVN had to step in and start an independent expo. According to the
show guide, this changeover happened in 1998, but don't expect most
people to remember that date. The porn industry is historically very
fuzzy with numbers. AVN reported that in the year 2000, revenue from
sales and rentals of adult videos topped four billion dollars, but that
number has never been independently confirmed. An article in Forbes
from 2001 quotes Adams Media Research as giving $1.8 billion a year as
a "most generous" estimate. For comparison, Adams estimated the yearly
mainstream video market at $20 billion in 2001.
But in the seven years since that report, porn has exploded. With the
combination of high-speed internet, bit torrent technology and a
pop-culturizing of the adult film industry, porn is more accepted than
ever. Jenna Jameson graces best-selling book covers, Ryan Gosling dates
sex dolls in adorable romantic comedies and the famed million-dollar
porn movie, "Pirates," has become a bona fide cultural touchstone for
millions of college students. But the world of porn is still a mystery
to most, and offensive to many. The AEE is a perfect place to explore
the inherent dichotomies of this industry. Men in suits offer contracts
to women in platform heels and skimpy outfits. Note that no nudity is
allowed at the AEE. Well, no "real" nudity. Fans waiting in line to
meet their favorite stars can watch the women perform all manner of sex
acts on the hundreds of flat screens populating the convention floor,
but if her nipple slips out of that low-cut top while she's leaning in
to sign an autograph, she could be hit with a big fine.
The AEE isn't all boobs in booths, though. There's plenty of business
going on at the convention, too. Sex shop managers wander the AEE
perusing all the new video titles ("Pirates 2" coming soon!), the
newest video camera technology and exercise balls with attachable sex
toys. What the AEE offers to people who work in porn is an invaluable
business resource and a sense of legitimacy in an oft-derided industry.
What it offers to everyone else is total sensory overload: thousands of
people milling around the booths with telephoto-lensed cameras hoping
to close-ups of their favorite stars, performers eating lunch while
wearing naught but panties and pasties and booths offering everything
from tooth whitening to 3-D televisions. Words, even photos, cannot do
justice to the overwhelming nature of the porn convention.
Abbywinters.com
Guilt free porn? Maybe not, but there is
something different about Abbywinters.com. Their booth was certainly
the surprise hit of the 2008 AEE. In stark contrast to the heavily
made-up, tarty porn stars at most booths, Abbywinters.com took a
simple, stripped-down approach. A dozen or so girls wandered around a
sloping, Astroturfed area smack in the middle of the convention,
wearing jeans with white T-shirts and/or bras. They eagerly and
enthusiastically engaged fans in conversation or games of speed chess.
At the same time the girls weren't afraid to start snogging halfway
through a yoga session. The entire experience felt somewhat like an
after-hours party on the set of "Teletubbies," with all the cute girls
from your Writing 1 class-if all the girls in your class were
Australian. It wasn't just the booth, but the product they were
promoting that was in stark contrast to what ruled the rest of the
convention. Marigold, a long time model and speed chess fiend,
describes it best. "Abby Winters.com is an Australian adult Web site
with young natural amateur Aussies having fun in our own environment,
usually in our own homes in our own rooms in our own clothes no makeup,
full bush, everything natural and real." And then of course there's the
fact that there are no boys. While this site certainly isn't a clean
alternative to porn, there's something refreshing about seeing girls
actually enjoy themselves in a natural environment while they explore
their voyeuristic side.
High Tech Sex Toys
From the OhMiBod, the vibrator that pulses
along with your Ipod to the Fleshlight, a flashlight-shaped,
dishwasher-safe device men can pleasure themselves with, sex toys are
becoming high tech and a big business. The inflatable woman has evolved
into the silicone sex doll with realistic flesh and customizable
features. The simple vibrator now comes with the option of remote
controls and various attachments to enhance pleasure. Many blend form
with function, attaining a modern artistic sensibility or successfully
disguising themselves as normal household items. My personal favorite
was presented to me by a Taiwanese man who spoke little English. The
business end of the device seemed like any motorized dildo, one with a
substantial base that can thrust itself. But then he showed me the
electronic brain behind this ersatz phallus: a silver briefcase filled
with dozens of lights and knobs. It seemed to be the sex toy of choice
for James Bond. Despite its retro appeal, the toy seemed to feature too
many functions. But Pussy Galore would have loved it.
XXXChurch.com
Billing themselves as the number one Christian
porn Web site, xxxchurch.com actually features no porn whatsoever.
"People ask if we have naked nuns; sorry no porn," founder Craig Gross
jokes. "We want to help people that are struggling with porn. We don't
want to shut it down, we don't want to picket it, we don't want to get
in a fight. If you look at too much porn and want help, we're here. If
you look at just a little porn and you want help, we're here." For just
over six years (the church celebrated its birthday during the
convention) xxxchurch.com has been offering services to people who want
out of the industry. Their agenda is not political, and not even
aggressively religious. They hand out Bibles emblazoned with their
motto, "Jesus Loves Porn Stars," at porn shows around the world. "Right
wing Christians are saying, 'Lets make everyone do things our way. Lets
take (porn) out of hotels. Lets ban it. Just stop buying it.'" Gross
isn't exactly porn friendly, ("God's plan for sex is a beautiful thing,
but we've twisted it,") but he is porn star friendly ("Jesus loves porn
stars just as much as he loves pastors"). He tries to focus on letting
women know that they don't need to accept pornography if they don't
feel comfortable with it. "So many girls on college campuses, now, are
into porn. I don't think they're as visually turned on as the guys but
they think they need that to get the guy."
Brad Stitt February 13 2008 studlife.com
Can You Use Sex Toys in More Than One Relationship?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for four months, and we're
crazy about each other. He's been slowly introducing me to butt play.
Last night, we were verbally playing out an anal scenario. He asked if
I'd be OK using a strap-on with him, to which I replied, "Of course!"
Then he said that he had a harness and dildo in the closet. I balked.
This brought up two specific issues for me.
(1) What is good sex-toy etiquette? Can you use sex toys in one
relationship and then in the next one? Also, when I've been with women,
it was NOT OK to reuse sex toys. They died with the relationship. Is it
different with heteros?
(2) Can you recycle sex toys with your recycling like you would other plastic products?
He said he'd be happy to buy new sex toys if it bothers me so
much. But we're both eco-friendly and don't want to cause a lot of
waste. —Willing To Bend Over Boyfriend
A. "Lesbian sex-toy etiquette is pretty clear," says Claire Cavanah. "Dildos and harnesses don't survive the breakup."
Cavanah is the co-founder of Babeland, a
woman-owned, totally righteous, continent-spanning sex-toy colossus,
and a lesbian herself, and I typically defer to her on matters of
lesbian sex-toy etiquette. But when asked why sex toys have to be
discarded after a lesbian breakup, Claire could only offer this
dyke-ass mumbo-jumbo: "A lesbian couple's dildos become suffused with
the energy of the sex in the relationship and end up symbolizing the
sexual connection the poor doomed couple had. They belong to the
relationship."
Like I said, I'm going to defer to Claire. But it's interesting
that lesbian dildos become fatally suffused with the energy of failed
lesbian relationships and therefore must be discarded, but lesbian
hairstyles do not. Moving on . . .
"In the straight world," Claire continues, "there's a whole lot
less attachment to specific toys, so reusing a dildo and harness is
probably more common and acceptable."
So, should you suck it up and use your boyfriend's dirty ol' sex toys? Of course not, says the owner of a sex-toy shop.
"WTBOB, trained in the lesbian tradition, needs to speak up and
get new toys," says Claire. "You love this guy, and you want to give
him every inch of YOUR love," not the love someone else banged his ass
with, "so go get a new rig."
How best to dispose of the old rig?
"Treehugger.com says that silicone and latex are recyclable,"
says Claire, "but that doesn't mean you can toss your old dildos into
your plastics bin and expect them to live again in the form of a park
bench. You'd have to summon all your courage and take them to a special
facility." Most people won't do that, says Claire, "so most toys end up
as landfill."
If you can't bring yourself to hand over those old dildos at a special silicone-
and-latex recycling facility, WTBOB, and the thought of your boyfriend's used sex toys clogging your local landfill upsets
you, perhaps you should mail them to Kandiss Crone at WLBT 3 News in Jackson, Mississippi.
Crone is a teeveenewz reporter in a state where it's against the
law to sell sex toys. Twice last year, the Jackson Police Department
busted a local sex shop, Adult Video and Books, for the crime of
selling "three-dimensional devices." But those busts didn't put a stop
to Jackson's three-dimensional-device crime wave, it seems, because
recently Ms. Crone got a hot tip: Adult Video and Books was back in the
three-dimensional-device business!
To protect the citizens of Jackson from the imminent threat of
three-dimensional devices (we wouldn't want the smoking gun to take the
form of a mushroom-headed dildo), Crone went undercover for a very
special "3 on Your Side" investigative report. Crone slipped into Adult
Video and Books—in disguise, lest she be recognized—and purchased a
purple vibrator. Then Crone went back in with a camera crew and
confronted the store's owner. And since no teeveenewz report about
crime is complete without a statement from the authorities, Crone asked
the Jackson Police Department for a comment. "The adult store is not a
priority for our vice and narcotics officers," the Jackson Police
Department said in a statement. "Citizens would rather see us using our
resources to get drugs and prostitutes off our streets and work to
decrease violent crime." (No word from the JPD on why it used to be a
priority.)
Police negligence! The books are full of deeply silly,
sex-phobic laws that are rarely enforced, of course, because cops have
better things to do than bust people for the "crime" of selling
vibrators to teeveenewz reporters. But when an enterprising teeveenewz
reporter goes to all the trouble of conducting an undercover operation
to get a dangerous purple vibrator off the streets, why, the least the
police can do is arrest the culprits! And provide that enterprising
teeveenewz reporter with some B-roll footage of the cops hauling the
store's owner away in handcuffs!
Now, cynical readers might assume that Ms. Crone, like so many
other teeveenewz reporters, was using sex to attract viewers and then
exonerating herself and her viewers for their salaciousness by
persecuting the owner of the sex-toy shop. And some cynical readers
might argue that Ms. Crone is only
pretending to be scandalized
because she's a sophisticated, professional, modern woman, and like
many sophisticated, professional, modern women, Ms. Crone is likely to
have owned and operated a sex toy or two. And if Ms. Crone hasn't, then
certainly other folks at WLBT—management, anchors, other reporters,
editors, cameramen, sound techs—have used three-dimensional devices.
They're all grownups, right?
Some will want to believe all that about Ms. Crone and WLBT
because that would prove that Ms. Crone and everyone else at WLBT are
hypocrites for going on the teevee and playing to the prejudices of
small-minded, sex-negative assholes while at the same time making folks
who do use sex toys—or sell them, or work in places that do—feel
ashamed of themselves.
But I don't like to think ill of people. I'm certain that Ms.
Crone and the whole gang at WLBT in Jackson, Mississippi, sincerely
believe that sex toys are a threat to the health, safety, and morals of
the general public. As that's the case, I'm certain Ms. Crone would be
only too delighted to receive your boyfriend's old sex toys in the
mail, WTBOB, and used sex toys belonging to other Savage Love readers.
Ms. Crone would, no doubt, take great satisfaction in personally
disposing of all the dangerous three-dimensional devices she could get
her hands on. So, ship those old sex toys to: Kandiss Crone, c/o WLBT 3
News, 715 South Jefferson Street, Jackson, Mississippi, 39201. Don't
have a sex toy to dispose of? E-mail Kandiss at kandiss@wlbt.net and
let her know what a great job she's doing for the community.
by Dan Savage
February 12th, 2008 10:01 PM thevillagevoice.com
The foods of love
Want to put a little spice into your relationship this Valentine's Day?
Then check out this A-Z guide of 'love foods' to get you both in the
mood.
It's funny that Valentine's Day
arrives just when the weather is so far from sizzling you might be
finding a hot water bottle more appealing than a hot date. But don't
worry, because a few changes to the way you eat -- and the way you
think -- could be all it takes. Here's a run-down of foods, supplements
and ideas to warm up these wintry nights.
A is for asparagus -- sensual and suggestive, but also a source of
several nutrients shown to increase your sex drive, while avocados are rich
in healthy oils and libido-boosting vitamins B6 and E.
Vitamin A itself has a role in producing sex hormones while antioxidants, in
all fruits and veg, help prevent artery damage and reduced blood flow that
can result in erectile dysfunction by reducingblood flow.
A herbal supplement, Agnus Castus, balances female sex hormones while
Arginine, found in protein foods like animal produce, nuts and pulses, can
have a powerful effect on libido.
B is for Brazil nuts, a super source of selenium, which regulates sex
drive and fertility. All of the B vitamins relieve stress and anxiety, and
B6 -- in bananas, tuna, chicken and chickpeas -- plays a particular role in
the sex hormones.
C as we all know, is for chocolate. Not only does (good, dark)
chocolate contain a stimulant called theobromine, it also produces a
gorgeous little chemical called phenylethylamine. It's the same chemical
that fires passions during the first months of a relationship and floods
your brain during orgasm. It lifts spirits and lessens pain, and is also
present in avocado, bananas, almonds and many of the protein foods.
Another brain-stimulating nutrient is the B vitamin choline. It can also
have a dramatic effect on libido, and it's found in eggs, lentils, beef,
liver and chickpeas.
Warming cinnamon and chillies stimulate the system to spice things up, while
chromium supplements are known to increase sex drive -- perhaps because they
help to balance blood glucose.
D is for Damiana, a potent aphrodisiac herb that has a direct effect
on sex hormones and sex organs and mood.
D is also for dating. Many relationship counsellors advise getting a
babysitter and going out for a romantic dinner -- and no talking about the
kids!
But D is also for diagnosis. If either of you have a real physical or
emotional problem that's getting in the way of your love life, then always
consult your doctor or a sex therapist, like Donal Gaynor of Accord. In
these cases, Donal says, "the only thing that will work is getting to
the root of the problem".
E is for vitamin E, for circulation. And for endorphin-releasing,
stress-busting exercise to keep all of your systems fired up.
F is for fish, which doesn't sound too sexy until you consider that
the essential fats in oily fish are also essential for the production of sex
hormones.
G is for Goji berries, those tiny miracles bursting with complete
protein, vitamins A, B, C and E, essential fats, zinc, iron and selenium.
Garlic (make sure you're both eating it!), ginger and the supplement Ginkgo
biloba all improve blood flow (including to the genitals).
H is for honey, another sensual food and ancient aphrodisiac, Horny
Goat Weed plant does what it says on the tin.
I is for iodine, which is necessary for good thyroid function and
therefore sexual energy. Found in shellfish and seaweed.
J is for avoiding junk food, which makes you fat, tired and moody --
not a good look in the bedroom.
K is for Korean ginseng, an energy and stamina booster that also
balances hormones and boosts blood flow to the genitals. If stress is
wrecking your libido, take ginseng.
L is for leafy green vegetables, rich in all the nutrients to keep
you going strong.
M is for meat. No better source of iron for energy and stamina, not
to mention libido-targeting proteins, vitamins and minerals.
Mangoes are used in India to prolong lovemaking. Magnesium is necessary for
hormone balance and often lacking in our diets, so consider a supplement.
And while you're at it, try Muira Puama, a South American herb that
stimulates sensitivity and the effects of testosterone.
N is for nutmeg, another one of those spices to make you, well, hot.
O needless to say, is for oysters. Hugely suggestive, they were
Casanova's favourite bedtime snack and are the richest source of zinc.
And let's not forget the humble oat, known to boost testosterone levels and
flagging libidos with its selenium, zinc and vitamin E.
P is for exotic pomegranates, known as 'love apples' because of their
arousing qualities.
And you can't beat good old pelvic floor exercises for getting things into
shape.
Q is for quickies. Sex therapist Tracey Cox points out that you're
better off making a quick connection than waiting for "that magical
two-hour session that rarely happens -- and the more you have, the more you
want".
R on the other hand is for relax. We all naturally have phases of not
feeling very up for it -- if we see that as a problem, Donal Gaynor says it
can only lead to stress and avoidance, and so a deadly vicious cycle.
Perhaps more of a focus on romance would take the pressure off and remind
you of why you got it together in the first place.
S is for smell, and not just making sure your breath/feet/sheets are
fresh boys! Certain smells have a powerful impact, and scientists have
discovered that among the most potent for women are banana bread, liquorice,
cucumber and even celery.
The last contains a chemical cousin of testosterone, released through the
pores when celery is eaten.
Men apparently get their kicks from buttered popcorn and cinnamon buns.
Strawberries are another traditional aphrodisiac, while seeds are packed
with arginine, zinc and vitamin E.
Sarsaparilla Root boosts levels of testosterone.
T is for tryptophan, an amino acid from which we make the serotonin
that governs our mood and our libido -- though this is one more for the
ladies. Eat plenty of poultry, beans and fish.
U is for underwear. The sex hormone testosterone, which is stronger
in men than women, is designed for variety; we all need to make an effort to
retain a bit of mystery and allure, so let's not forget the sexy lingerie,
the perfume, a glass of champagne delivered to the bathroom ...
V is, of course, for Viagra. Performance-enhancing drugs might have
their place, but many therapists agree with Donal Gaynor that medication
doesn't really address the problem and "carries a message that you're
not healthy".
And v is for variety -- enough said.
W is for wine. A glass or two with your romantic dinner will relax
and revive, but don't go overboard. Alcohol lowers testosterone and raises
oestrogen levels, dampening libido.
The supplement Wild Yam helps to balance female hormones and increase a
man's sperm count.
And while wholegrains aren't very erotic, they're packed with that vital
vitamin B6, arginine and countless other nutrients. Go for wholemeal bread
and pasta, brown rice and, again, oats.
X is for x-rated. It's true that women are made differently to men
and can sometimes take a little longer to get warmed up. If this is a
problem, how about a little erotica to get her up to speed?
Y is for ylang ylang, a rich and sensuous essential oil. Use it
diluted in almond oil for a mutual massage session and you can't go wrong.
Z is for zinc. This little mineral impacts on all aspects of sexual
health and is plentiful in shellfish, seeds, eggs, turkey, lentils and brown
rice.
Consult your GP before taking any supplements if you are pregnant or nursing
Donal Gaynor is a sex therapist with the relationship counselling service
Accord. For a therapist in your area go to www.accord.ie
Tracey Cox is the author of Supersex (Dorling Kindersley)
Rosie Shelley is a clinical nutritionist and writes for various national
papers
By Rosie Shelley Monday February 11 2008
The Independent Ireland
Making sex toys in Happy Valley
Mark Ricketts, 37, and his wife, Susan Donald, 35, are the most unlikely couple to be making sex toys for a living. Wholesome is the word that springs to mind upon meeting the former Welsh sheep farmer, who immigrated here six years ago, and his soft-spoken wife, a Montreal native.
Their Happy Valley company, run out of their 200-year-old farmhouse outside of Peterborough, Ont., is the leading manufacturer of silicone sex toys -- butt plugs, dildos and vibrators -- in Canada.
Their profession came as a surprise to neighbour Thomas Aitken when he first met the young couple from up the road. They had come knocking about a pottery wheel he had for sale. The couple was coy about what they wanted it for, but Mr. Aitken, a potter himself, says he didn't think much of it at the time.
Many people in the rural area about two hours from Toronto make their living commuting to the General Motors plant in nearby Oshawa. And just as many run some sort of business out of their homes. There are furniture makers and other artisans in the area, even one of the few bassoon repairmen in the world.
It wasn't until Mr. Aitken spotted a curious-looking plaster molding at the pair's 40-hectare farm a few months later that he figured out what they were up to.
"I thought they were this young couple trying to get on their feet. They had this old farmhouse. They had this cat," Mr. Aitken recalls. "And then all of sudden you walk into this room full of dildos."
Much like the current consumer revolt against cheap Asian plastics used in products like water bottles and children's toys, there is a trend in the sex-toy trade away from dodgy manufacturers and materials, according to Sarah Forbes-Roberts, an owner of Toronto's Come As You Are, a boutique sex shop,
"Our customers are certainly a lot better informed than they were 10 years ago," she says. "People are asking more questions and they want to know what products are made out of and how they're going to work."
Many of her customers have turned to glass or naturally sealed wood dildos, even metal vibrators as an alternative to cheaply made plastics models from China. But silicone is by far the most popular alternative to plastic because of its skin-like feel and non-toxic nature.
You can even put silicone sex toys in the dishwasher, Mr. Ricketts says.
But silicone is difficult to source and hard to mechanize and manipulate, so there are only a handful of small sex toy manufacturers in the United States, Britain, Germany and Australia using it. That has created quite a demand for Happy Valley's sex toys.
The company produces 25 different toys sold in boutique sex shops across Canada, the United States, Europe and Japan. The couple makes up to 50 a day in their farmhouse studio, selling a couple hundred a week, and their silicone toys command a premium price.
"It took customers a little while to get to the point where, rather than spending $20 on a rubber dildo, they will spend $70 on a silicone one," Ms. Forbes-Roberts says. "It's because the quality is so much better."
The couple acknowledges accidentally falling into the business after a particularly bleak first winter on their farm in 2002. In order to supplement their living, Mr. Ricketts, who also has a background in carpentry, began making wood cutting boards that he sold at local farmer's markets.
The region where the pair lives and works is typical of most rural Ontario communities, with Country Style doughnut shops and snowmobile tracks lining the highways. But nearby Peterborough is also home to the fetish shop Leatherbeaten, one of North America's premier makers of hand-crafted whips, floggers and leather spanking paddles, and Black Kat Enterprises, which at one point published the S&M magazine Whiplash, and now puts on the travelling trade show Sexapalooza.
"One of the people I was talking to about my chopping boards very discreetly asked what other kind of wood work I would be willing to attempt," recalls Mr. Ricketts. "I found out what they wanted was some paddles," he says.
Making the ash paddles for fetish play was just another job to him, though not nearly as lucrative as he had hoped. "I was making them too high quality, spending too much time making them and not charging enough money," he says. "I was steadily driving myself into poverty."
Through his new customers, he and his wife spotted a hole in the Canadian market for silicone sex toys.
The couple spent the better part of a year teaching themselves how to work with silicone, trying to source the best materials and to come up with their own designs, which they say strive to strike a balance between beauty and functionality.
Ms. Donald had a fine arts background and had worked with pottery, clay and wax in the past. So sculpting a phallus for a sex toy was an easy transition.
Demand is now so strong for Happy Valley's products that the couple is having trouble keeping up.
"If we wanted to put the time and the effort in, we could be very rich within five years, but the other aspects of our lives would suffer," Mr. Ricketts says. "We're not millionaires, but we're not starving."
On a recent visit to their farmhouse, the couple were just as quick to show off their flock of sheep and their pedigree goats as they were to show off their sex toys. And they have become fixtures in their rural community, despite what they do for a living.
"It's a good thing to make a living at something you're proud of, and making something that makes people happy," says Mr. Ricketts.
Scott Deveau, Financial Post Published: Monday, February 11, 2008
Hiss, boo, bah: Sex workers' art show raises southern ruckus
The Sex Workers' Art Show
— an "eye-popping evening of visual and performance art created by
people who work in the sex industry" — has been touring cities and
campuses nationwide the past month without much ado.
But performances earlier this week at Duke University and
William & Mary College have made it a hot topic in in North
Carolina and Virginia.
Duke administrators are taking heat for allowing the show, given the
notorious case involving the school's lacrosse team and stripper hired
for a party. A columnist for The News & Observer wondered how Duke administrators could be "tone deaf" by allowing the show in light of the lacrosse scandal, and ABC News has followed up on the controversy.
So what did the audience of 300 Blue Devils see Sunday night?
Here's an excerpt from a review in The Chronicle, an independent student daily at Duke:
... Hot pink-haired host and show founder Annie Oakley kicked
off the show by leading the audience in a chant of "naked ladies."
The remainder of the event featured political statements,
musical theater, a mild dominatrix act, the elaborate removal of
clothing and an anal sparkler for the grand finale. Audience member
reactions ranged from rowdy cheers to awkward silences.
Junior Martha Brucato spent 11 months raising funds for the free
show in hopes of initiating discussions about sexuality and the way
women's bodies are often seen as commodities-issues she said are rarely
brought up on campus.
"When people are exposed to something so different from what
they are used to, it will get them talk about these things," Brucato
said. ...
Next stop on the tour was William & Mary, in Williamsburg, Va., on Monday night.
Two shows (450 seats each) sold out quickly. School officials
reportedly censored some material, and protesters assembled outside the
theater.
The show got a big thumbs down from Republican members of the Virginia House of Delegates. Today they grilled four members of the school board who are up for re-election, including the president.
"For the good of the College of William and Mary, I hope and
strongly suggest that the board of visitors think long and hard as they
choose the next president to lead the second-oldest college in the
United States," said Del. Timothy D. Hugo, R-Fairfax.
The show must go on, however. Style, Richmond's alternative paper, looks at the controversy ahead of tomorrow night's performance in Virginia's capital city.
February 07, 2008
Michael Winter for USA Today
Heal your sex life with heels
LONDON: The sight of stilettos may shoot up a man's libido. But, if a study is to be believed, wearing the high-heel shoes can boost a woman's sexual desire.
Researchers in Italy have found that wearing higher heels actually improves a woman's pelvic floor muscles, thereby boosting her sex life.
"Women often have difficulty in carrying out the right exercises for the pelvic zone and wearing heels could be the solution. It's good to know they have potential health benefits," according to lead researcher Dr Maria Cerruto.
Cerruto, a urologist at the University of Verona, said that she conducted her tests because she wished to tackle "bizarre" non-scientific theories blaming high heels for a range of ills, including schizophrenia.
During the study, the researcher studied 66 volunteers aged under 50 and measured the electrical activity in the pelvic muscles of the women. She discovered that women who held their feet at a 15-degree angle to the ground, the equivalent of a 7cm heel, showed up to 15% less electrical activity in their pelvic muscles.
The research, to be reported in the journal European Urology , involved measuring electrical activity in the pelvic muscles of women when they held their feet at different angles.
The results suggest the muscles are more relaxed when women wear higher heels, increasing their strength and ability to contract.
"Women often find it difficult to complete their exercises. This may prove a solution," Cerruto said.
"As a woman who loves heeled shoes, I tried to find something healthy in them. In the end I achieved my goal. Heels affect pelvic floor activity, reducing pain and improving your health. We now hope to prove that wearing heels during daily activity may reduce the need for pelvic exercises," Times Online quoted Cerruto as saying.
However, Gill Brook, a women's health physiotherapist in Britain, stressed the study did not suggest that stilettos were a good thing for those keen on improving their pelvic floor function.
"But for women who like a slightly higher heel, these are reassuring findings - although we haven't yet done away with the need for regular exercises to maintain what is such an important part of the female body," the BBC News portal quoted her as saying.
Matt Roberts, a personal trainer whose clients have included Madonna, Naomi Camp-bell, Natalie Imbruglia, Mel C and John Galliano, said: "A woman wearing high heels will hold the muscles tight to compensate. When you are standing on tiptoes you have to clench the buttocks, the inner thighs and the pelvic floor muscles. It would potentially give them a short-term tension and toning. But the negative effects can outweigh the positive."
He added: "The knees and metatarsals are put under strain, the hips are out of position. It can lead to long-term health risks."
The pelvic floor muscles are an essential component of the female body. As well as assisting sexual performance and satisfaction, they provide vital support to the pelvic organs, which include the bladder, bowels and uterus.
But they often weaken after pregnancy and childbirth, and as the woman gets older. An official guide to better sex, provided by UK's NHS Direct , advises women to become more aware of their "pleasure muscles" - pelvic floor muscles - and advises them how to exercise them to aid sexual arousal. The NHS recommends that women, particularly before and after pregnancy, should do pelvic floor exercises up to five times a day.
High heels have been a fashion item since the 1600s but over the past 50 years they have been blamed for a variety of health problems ranging from bunions, stress fractures and knee pain to an increased risk of arthritis.
7 Feb 2008, 0305 hrs IST,AGENCIES The Times of India
Cyber-sex stimulating hi-tech development
Surfers seeking sexual thrills are helping to inspire new and innovative technologies, according to a cyber-sex expert from the University of Portsmouth.
Dr Trudy Barber, an expert on cyberspace and sexual subcultures, made the claim during the Royal Society of Medicine's Sexual Pleasures conference this week.
Fetishism and sexual deviation are helping to change the way people use new technology, according to Dr Barber, and can even influence the invention of new technologies.
"People are inspired by their own sexual inclinations which results in some innovative uses of technology," she said.
"Nothing shocks me now, although I'm frequently surprised at how ingenious people are in order to obtain sexual satisfaction."
Dr Barber, who lectures on media studies, cyber-cultures and social theory at Portsmouth's School of Creative Arts and Media, defines cyber-sex as "computer mediated sexual contact" or "technologically mediated intimacy".
This can include anything from phone sex to someone using an attachment connected to a personal computer through which others in cyber-space can provide sexual pleasure.
"Computer technology touches so many aspects of our lives that it is really not so surprising that it infiltrates and influences our sex lives," said Dr Barber.
"In contemporary Western society sex is for pleasure and for entertainment and computers will have an increasing role to play."
Dr Barber's research took her to sites such as Second Life, where she found people quick to adopt sexual practices from their regular lives into their online personas.
"The role of deviation as a key to innovation must not be overlooked as it will contribute to our understanding of new intimacy, culture and the future of developing information and communications technologies," she concluded.
Filed by the New York Civil Liberties Union, it's the first
appellate court decision in New York - and the first known decision in
the country - to hold that the state must recognize a same-sex union
certified elsewhere.
The case, Martinez v. County of Monroe, was filed in 2005 in State
Supreme Court on behalf of Patricia Martinez , an employee of Monroe
Community College in Rochester, seeking health care benefits for her
female partner whom she married in Canada in 2004.
Most women would rather eat chocolate than have sex - because chocolate "never disappoints", it has been claimed.
A
poll by Cadbury revealed that while nearly nine in ten men would shun
the sweet stuff in favour of something more saucy between the sheets,
52% of women would prefer to tuck into the sugary treat.
Better than sex, apparently
It
quizzed more than 1,500 UK adults, and quoted one fan as saying that
chocolate provides "guaranteed pleasure... Chocolate never disappoints".
Both men (57%) and women (66%) were aware that chocolate enhanced their mood.
The
chocolate manufacturer highlighted research from the University of
Wales, Swansea, into links between chocolate and endorphins,
mood-enhancing chemicals which produce feelings of pleasure.
Cadbury said more women than men (53% versus 38%) knew that chocolate releases endorphins.
Paul Hebblethwaite, the firm's global science director, said: "It's not just the endorphins that makes chocolate so enjoyable.
"As
it melts in the mouth at body temperature, chocolate's creamy texture
and unique aroma hit all of the body's senses, heightening the
sensuality of the experience."
The region which would generally rather get their kicks from chocolate than sex is the East of England (40%).
Most Londoners prefer sex, the highest of any region at 79%.
news.sky.com
Updated:05:50, Tuesday June 05, 2007
Med students get more sex
MEDICAL students have sex with more people than students of any other discipline, a survey has found.
A survey of more than 1000 students at Cambridge
University found those studying medicine had an average of eight sexual
partners in their lives so far.
Student union president Mark Fletcher told student newspaper
Varsity the results came as no surprise.
“It’s obvious that the mathematicians haven’t found the winning formula yet,” Mr Fletcher said.
“But it’s good to see that doctors and nurses is still a popular game.”
The poll, which was carried out by the newspaper, found theology students had the fewest number of sexual partners with two.
Political science students had seven, while those studying history had six partners.
Those enrolled in language courses averaged five sexual partners.
But don't worry if you are not the brightest student - the survey
found poor performers tended to have a higher than average number of
sexual partners.
About 25 per cent of respondents said they had tried sado-masochism
and 40 per cent said they had had a one-night stand, but more than 60
per cent said they had never been checked for sexually transmitted
diseases.
news.com.au
January 28, 2008 11:44am
Oops: Phone company mixes up numbers for governor, sex line
Pete Pritchard was in for a shock when he dialed the number that's listed in the phone book for Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley.
He tells the Cecil Whig
that a woman with a sultry voice answered the phone. "Mmmm, hi sexy,"
she said before he realized that this was, most definitely, not the
governor's office in Annapolis,
Thanks to a misprint in the phone book, Pritchard called a phone sex
line that charges $1.99 a minute.
Armstrong Telephone Co. says the wrong number was printed in the directories it distributed in Cecil County, Md.
From this posting, it sounds like a very thorough reporter for
The Washington Post called the phone-sex number that's listed for O'Malley and Lt. Gov. Anthony Brown.
Posted by Mike Carney at 02:35 PM/ET, January 23, 2008 in Local news http://www.usatoday.com
Majority of Swedes accept same-sex marriage, report says
Stockholm - As Sweden's centre-right government is wrestling with how to draft new legislation allowing same-sex couples the right to marry, a new poll published Monday suggested strong public support for the concept. A poll commissioned by the Svenska Dagbladet newspaper suggested 71 per cent favoured allowing same-sex couples to marry, 24 per cent were against while 6 per cent were undecided or doubtful.
Polling institute Sifo polled 1,000 people during January 14 to 17.
"The proposal has convincing support but is strongly opposed by Christian Democrats," Toivo Sjoren of Sifo was quoted as saying.
Prime Minister Fredrik Reinfeldt recently said the government would draft legislation "but not this spring," despite the opposition from the Christian Democrats, one of the four parties in his coalition.
The opposition Social Democrats, Green Party and Left Party also support same-sex marriages and have indicated they were preparing their own proposal if the government does not move.
Last year, the government asked various organizations and bodies to comment on proposals to change current legislation.
A week ago, the deadline for comments ended, signalling the next phase in the legislative process.
Among the bodies that have commented on the matter was the Church of Sweden, a Lutheran church.
The central board of the church said it would accept pending changes of marriage laws that would offer same-sex unions the same legal status as traditional marriage.
However the term "marriage" should be reserved for the union between man and woman, the board - elected by the Church Assembly, the highest decision-making body in the church - said.
Same-sex couples have since 1995 been able to form a union in Sweden via registered partnership which later was amended to allow them to adopt children.
Mon, 21 Jan 2008 earthtimes.org
Sex toy mistaken for a bomb
A SWEDISH parking garage was blocked off after a suspicious package
was found there, but upon closer inspection they discovered the bundle
held a sex toy, not a bomb.
"A man found a package in a parking garage (in the southwestern city
of Gothenburg). It was taped up and it was very suspicious. It was
vibrating," local police spokesman said.
Police sent four patrol cars to the spot and blocked off the area before technical personnel cautiously opened the package.
"There were no explosives. Just a sex toy ... A dildo," he said.
18 January 2008 Gulf Daily News
Porn euros being passed off as real
Fake porn euro notes being sold as a gimmick in Germany are being successfully passed off as real cash.
The notes, in 300, 600 and 1,000 euro denominations have a ring of 12
hearts instead of the usual EU stars and feature hunky men and
big-breasted nude women.
Instead of the word 'Euro' being printed in the corner these notes have 'Eros' - the Greek god of love.
But despite these differences - and the fact that the only large euro
notes currently in circulation are 100s, 200s and 500s - police say
they are being passed off as the real thing.
Cologne
newsagent Bernd Friedhelm, 33, accepted one of the fake 600 euro notes
from an unknown customer who bought two cartons of cigarettes and
walked off with 534 euros in change.
Friedhelm said: "He told me it was a new type of note and I just figured I hadn't seen one before."
A spokesman for the Cologne police said: "You can tell straight away by looking at it that it's fake.
"There aren't even any 600 euro notes anyway. But anyone trying to pass it off as real, even as a joke, faces prosecution."
We all know that regular sex is an important part of a healthy, happy relationship, but did you know that regular sex is also an important part of a healthy, happy body? Indeed, sex is more than just a pleasurable activity — it is a big part of who we are, both emotionally and physically.
A recent Newsweek article found that regular sex has six amazing health benefits — it can increase a youthful appearance, it can promote the production of germ-fighting antibodies, it can strengthen a woman’s pelvic floor, it can burn calories, it can stabilize a woman’s menstrual cycle and it can offer natural pain relief in the form of orgasms.
While a healthy sex life can contribute to a healthy body, an unhealthy body can also contribute to an unhealthy sex life. If your sex life has been lackluster or sub-par lately, the reasons might be more obvious than you might think:
* Poor nutrition: Fast food not only does a number on your waistline, it can also do a number on your sex life. This is particularly true as we age and reach menopause. During menopause, estrogen levels get out of whack, which causes insulin levels to increase and thyroid levels to go down. Thus, women end up eating more food and burning fewer calories, which causes weight to accumulate. Healthy food choices are imperative during this time, as is daily exercise. (Don’t forget to take advantage of Newsweek’s findings — sex is a cardiovascular exercise, so trade it in for the stationary bike and you can still burn up to 300 calories an hour!)
* Stress: Expanded waistlines can also be due to another hormone: cortisol. Otherwise known as the stress hormone, cortisol can lead to all kinds of health problems, including excess abdominal fat. Cortisol is also a known libido-killer, so it is no wonder that sex is the last thing on your mind after a bad day at work. Exercise and meditation can decrease cortisol to a healthy level, which can improve your blood pressure and your love life. Another good way to decrease stress is to keep a “gratitude journal” — researchers have found that people who express gratitude and appreciation daily feel less stressed out than people who do not.
* Lack of sleep: Insomnia is often a vicious cycle, beginning with a caffeine overdrive in the morning, and ending with exhaustion in the evening. Most Americans would agree that they barely have the energy for sex at the end of the day! Improve your sleeping habits — and consequently, your sex habits — by cutting back on caffeine throughout the day. Substitute your giant cup of a coffee with a small cup of tea, and snack on foods like almonds throughout the day — they give you a natural burst of energy without the sugar dip that comes from a candy bar.
Last but not least, get the television out of your bedroom! A recent study found that the blue lights emitted from TV can disrupt sleeping patterns and restfulness throughout the entire night. And, finally, if you really just don’t have the energy for sex in the evening, make an effort to rise a little early in the morning in order to have time for sex before work.
Good health and good sex go hand-in-hand. And, since most of us are making resolutions to be healthier in 2008, it is good to know that regular intercourse is a big part of being in tip-top shape. Finally, a resolution that will be fun to keep!
Dr. Laura Berman is the director of the Berman Center in Chicago, a specialized health care facility dedicated to helping women and couples find fulfilling sex lives and enriched relationships. She is also an assistant clinical professor of OB-GYN and psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University. She has been working as a sex educator, researcher and therapist for 18 years.
By Dr. Laura Berman
TODAYShow.com contributor
updated 1:20 p.m. ET, Mon., Jan. 14, 2008
How to have sex like a porn star
Several years ago I heard about
this book by some porn star that was yet to be written: It was "How to
Make Love Like A Porn Star" by Jenna Jameson. The brainchild of Judith
Regan and Jameson, the book was, at first, going to be a sex guide from the most famous
porn star in the whole wide world. A big hit, for sure.
At the time, I worked closely with a
number of other sex educators and sexologists, and we all felt the pain when the
book was announced. Here was yet another porn performer, one of those who do
athletic and unsafe sex for a living, telling the world to use spit instead of
lube (which Jameson did, notoriously).
The book then had, I suppose, an identity crisis; from what I heard it chewed
through a couple ghostwriters, yet came out as one of the more fun, trashy,
tabloid-style bios I'd read in a while. A sex guide it wasn't (phew!) but it was
like a year's worth of Defamer-lite and a bag
of chips, so I enjoyed it. I read it in three days.
While Exotic Erotic East ... I mean
the AVN Awards, is gearing up for its expo in Las Vegas this weekend, don't you wonder what it would
be like if someone really wrote that book? I mean, how to really "do
it" like a porn star. It's so glamorous, and men's magazines are always
trying to teach the fellas how to trick their girlfriends and wives into being
more like porn stars in bed, and kids these days ... well, where else are they
gonna learn about sex?
I hate to break it to you, but
first, the title would be a misnomer. Porn stars don't "make love"
— except maybe to the camera. They make the sex, and they get the paycheck.
Porn performers occupy the small end of the gene pool: They don't look anything
like you or me, and that's why they got the job. They don't need to cuddle
before or after sex, they are extremely limber and can withstand holding
difficult positions under hot lights for extended periods of
time. They wax their balls, asses, vulvas, chests and backs. They get surgeries
you've never even heard of to plump or sculpt everything from labia to breasts
to calves. They have sex with total strangers every day, and the successful
ones make it look like it's not a job. Studios like local Kink.com know that what
their models do is an extreme sport (and at Kink, accent on the "extreme" part),
thus they treat their performers and models like Olympic athletes.
The films are edited to make it
look like everyone's having a good day; there's no PMS, no periods, no birth
control, no STDs (and miraculously, no safe sex!), no headaches, no farting, no
meltdowns and no disabilities. The condom exception is on gay porn sets where
they're handed out; in straight porn condoms are laughably optional
as the pool of straight performers rely on their AIM
test results as their ticket to perform.
But wait — if you have sex like a
porn star, women orgasm from the slightest stimulation! Girls, want to kiss
like porn star lesbians? Just lick tongues, it fools everyone. On camera,
anyway.
How to be penetrated like a porn star
Dana DeArmond boiled it
down for me in one succinct sentence: "Wash it and f-." Stop trying
to turn me on, Dana. Vaginal douches are standard — and douching is really not
good for the vagina, at all (it strips out all the helpful, protective
bacteria). Sure, cleanliness is the basic wish we all have when we hook up, but
for professional on-camera sex work, it's a lot more involved than taking a
shower before your date. For instance, say you wake up on Sunday morning and
think you might try a little anal sex with your sweetie. You get up and discreetly
use the restroom and wash, maybe do a little prep with a finger and some lube
to relax the muscles. It's not like porn where they're "always ready"
for the baseball bat or fire hydrant to pop right in there. Right.
But if you want to do it like a
porn star, how does an early Sunday morning 6-7 quart enema sound? Pretty hot,
I know. (Before church! Just getting that one out of the way for the comments.)
Most of us are like, "You want me to put
what, where?"
Tristan Taormino politely
tells us, "Each porn star has his or her own
ritual to prepare for an anal scene. It usually involves a nice deep-cleaning
enema either the night before or the morning of the scene. Some will also do a
little "rinse" right before the scene. Some people won't eat at all
until after their scene, others will only eat a light meal."
But
being penetrated in porn, no matter your gender — whether it's vaginal, anal,
or oral — is "bottoming." Jack Shamama from San Francisco's GayPornBlog.com,
who has been on more gay porn sets than there are boobs at AVN — from the top
studios to amateur and everything in between — explains the details:
"If
a guy is going to bottom in a porn, they must — with no exception — douche
about an hour before their scene. On every set I've ever been on, a private
place is set up for the bottom to collect his thoughts and hose himself out —
usually a bathroom stocked with Fleet Enemas. In (production name redacted),
the producer appointed the bathroom of my hotel room to be the doucheatorium,
which was both gross and inconvenient. During this time, a bottom might warm
himself up with a dildo, but for the most part they're experienced at bottoming
and they don't require much warming up before the scene starts filming.
More
disciplined and/or self-conscious bottoms will also limit their food intake for
24 hours before their scene (which has the added bonus of making them appear
slimmer on-camera). Some merely pop an Immodium. I once witnessed a group of
bottoms threaten to walk off a set en-masse because craft services only served
bran muffins.
As a
group, gay guys tend to be a pretty self-conscious and tidy bunch so they tend
to show up to a set trimmed, waxed and polished to sparkling clean. Three times
I saw hygiene-related problems arise, all involving straight or 'gay for
pay' performers during their initial foray into gay porn, including one
very famous male star doing his first J/O for a gay studio. Sort of makes sense,
since porn produced for straight men tends draw focus away from the male body,
often cropping as much of it out of the frame as possible. It's embarrassing
and painful for everyone involved when the director has to stop filming and
send a model to the bathroom to clean up because he flashes a 'brown eye.'"
As for giving oral sex like a porn
star — well, personally, before fellatio, I sing arias from Puccini, Verdi and
Wagner (respectively), practice swallowing my own fist six or seven times, then
I gargle with a quart (no less) of Pennzoil. Oh, and I don't eat for three days
beforehand, especially not bran muffins. Or Kamut. I don't know how the porn
stars do it. Think they're natural born sword swallowers? They're not. But boy,
are they like oral Cirque du Soleil stars, or what?
How to f- like a porn star
Male porn performers are just like
any regular guys. With unusually large penises, the ability to maintain an
erection and poke things with it in weird spread-legged positions for hours,
and to ejaculate copiously, with distance and target-based accuracy. In front
of a camera crew who are bored and hope to get home on time, while slaving over
a hot starlet who is also probably bored and hoping to get home in time for
"America's Next Top Model" or her mani-pedi appointment, and waiting for the director to tell him
when and where to come. Yup, it's easy. Any guy can f- like a porn star.
Jack, who apparently knows his way
around Dick, informs us:
"It's
rarely discussed openly, but ED meds (Viagra/Cialis/Levitra) have become de
rigueur on most sets and are usually dispensed as causally as condoms and lube
(I should point out that it's always up to the model whether or not to take
them — I've never seen or heard of anyone being "forced" to take
them). Some models rely on more drastic measures and show up to sets with
Caverject — a hardcore ED treatment that pre-dates Viagra, and requires an
injection directly into the penis. Caverject is extreme: it tends to cause a
numb but rock-hard erection lasting as long as 10 hours. Despite some horrible
side effects (and downright terrifying application!) some guys insist on using
it because, unlike Viagra, they don't have to think about it — they just stay
hard for hours and hours."
While people are understandably upset by recent announcements about
lead paint in children's toys and other dangerous chemicals making
their way into their kids' bedrooms, has anyone wondered what kinds of
chemicals go into adult toys?
Yes,
it's true: Sex toys can potentially be as hazardous to your health as a
lead-painted block in the mouth of a two-year-old. Maybe even more
dangerous, when you consider the electrical parts involved in many sex
toys, combined with a total lack of government regulation. So what's a
savvy consumer supposed to do when she hears about the latest gadget
that'll get her off?
Ladies and gentlemen, you've come to the right place.
If
you've ever used one before, you probably have some idea what it is you
like about sex toys. Maybe you've never put it into words exactly, but
there are ideas about what works and what doesn't. Batteries dying in
the middle of your session? Fail! Anything that requires a manual to
operate? Wrong! A long, hard plastic piece that may not be federally
approved for use in children's toys, much less insertion into a
sensitive area of your body? Whoa, boy!
In terms of materials,
silicone and rubber are both friendly ones for sex toys to be made out
of - especially when used with water-based lube. PVC, on the other
hand, is not. Releasing toxins called phthalates, PVC products can
potentially cause liver and kidney damage, and Greenpeace recommended
they be banned from use in both sex toys and children's toys in 2006 in
the European Union.
Here in North America, Realskin
products (not to be confused with Cyberskin) are still made from PVC,
as are any "jelly" toys. Be sure to check the label on bullet-style
vibrators too, as they're often coated with jelly materials. While the
Cyberskin website claims that their toys do not contain any PVC and
that they are completely toxin-free, sex toy sellers Come As You Are
recommend using a condom with any faux-flesh toys like Cyberskin, just
in case.
If you've got a latex allergy, you should definitely
beware of older sex toys that may still be on the market. Additionally,
if you've already got sex toys made from latex at home, know that the
material breaks down over time and is harder to clean than silicone,
which may in turn give you a yeast infection - or worse.
WHAT'S IN THAT LUBE?
Aside
from checking the box your toy comes in to see what the heck it's
actually made of, have you thought about what's in that bottle of lube?
Lots of commercially produced lubricants have chemicals whose names are
difficult to pronounce, stuff you may not want to be slathering all
over your nether regions. Once again, check the labels and make your
own decisions, keeping in mind some of the following information:
Water-based
lubes are best, since they won't react with your toys or your body
parts. However, silicone-based lubes last longer since they've got no
water that will eventually dry up. According to the Come As You Are
website, silicone-based lubes are hypoallergenic, paraben-free and
glycerin-free. Glycerin tends to cause yeast infections, while parabens
tend to cause allergic reactions, hence some people's preference for
silicone-based lubricants. If that wasn't confusing enough, you'll want
a thicker lube for anal play, so you'll probably want a silicone-based
lube, but make sure you're not using it with silicone-based toys!
As
for the flavoured or warming lubricants, if you've got allergies or
concerns about yeast infections, I'd stay away. Just the thought of
having to directly apply a tiny droplet of a certain clitoral
stimulation gel
only to my clit, as the directions warn that
smearing it elsewhere may cause a burning sensation, doesn't really
make me want to try it, no matter how awesome it may feel. I don't
exactly have a surgeon's steady hands, and I doubt most people do.
Whatever
you do, I figure the best bet is to just get out there and stand in the
aisles of your local sex shop or pharmacy, reading labels and asking
questions of any shopkeeper nearby. The surest way to fight off
potential sex toy disasters is to get as much information as possible
so that you can make informed decisions. The Internet is also a fine
tool for tracking down ingredient listings of products that interest
you, as well as any of their ingredients' potential side effects. Now
go out and play!
Selling sex is said to be
humankind's oldest profession but it may have deep evolutionary roots,
according to a study into our primate cousins which found that male
macaques pay for intercourse by using grooming as a currency.
Michael Gumert of Nanyang Technological University in Singapore made
the discovery in a 20-month investigation into 50 long-tailed macaques
in Kalimantan Tengah, Indonesia, New Scientist reports on Saturday.
On average, females had sex 1.5 times per hour.
But this rate jumped to 3.5 times per hour immediately after the
female had been groomed by a male -- and her partner of choice was
likely to be the hunky monkey that did the grooming.
Market forces also acted on the value of the transaction.
If there were several females in the area, the cost of buying sex
would drop dramatically -- a male could "buy" a female for just eight
minutes of nit-picking.
But if there were no females around, he would have to groom for up to 16 minutes before sex was offered.
The work supports the theory that biological market forces can explain social behaviour, the British weekly says.
"There is a very well-known mix of economic and mating markets in
the human species itself," said Ronald Noe of France's University of
Strasbourg.
"There are many examples of rich old men getting young attractive ladies."
AFP
Published:
Wednesday January 2, 2008
Cindy Margolis sex marathon
MODEL CINDY Margolis has told how she was
so obsessed with having a baby that she launched into a 14-day sex
marathon on her honeymoon.
The Playboy pin-up once feted as the world's most
downloaded woman says she had non-stop sex on the beach, in the ocean,
while swimming with dolphins, on a swing, in a tree, on a beach chair,
in a cabana, in the woods, and around the coral reef.
She also had sex with her husband, Guy Starkman, in the bath tub and even under the snack bar.
"But it didn't work. I must be going nuts," she told The New York Post.
"I thought I was being punished for my past mistakes: I should never
have cheated on my first love with that cute actor who turned out to be
a jerk!"
In her new book, "Having a Baby . . . When the Old-Fashioned Way
Isn't Working," out this week she writes of the methods she used in her
attempts to start a family.
"I set up a baby shrine next to my bed . . . I wrote letters to my
unborn baby. I lit fertility candles, saw a psychic and then a healer,
and even had my stomach blessed by a priest, a rabbi and a minister.
When all that didn't work, I was convinced it was because God saw
through me," Margolis writes.
She became very obsessed. Whenever Margolis thought she was ovulating, she demanded her husband rush home to bed her.
She relates: "I would call Guy off the basketball court, out of a
meeting, away from a family function, and even home early from a
business trip . . . I even told him once that if he didn't get home
within 10 minutes and have sex with me, I would find someone else who
would."
After years of trying, Margolis consulted specialists who
recommended in vitro fertilization and surrogacy. In 2002 she gave
birth to a son, Nicholas Isaac. Three years later she had twin girls,
Sabrina and Sierra, through a surrogate. "Please, never give up the
faith," she urges parents.
The Daily Telegraph
January 02, 2008 12:00am
Shoppers irked by dancing vibrators
STOCKHOLM, Sweden, Dec. 24 (UPI) -- Two department stores in Stockholm have learned Swedish Christmas shoppers aren't impressed by mechanized dildo displays and self-pleasuring rabbit vibrators.
Most recently, the PUB Corp.'s Oups concept store took down a window display that featured a mannequin whacking a snow shovel on fake snow banks from which dildos and vibrators popped up at random, the Svenska Dagbladet reported.
Store manager Tommy Johansson said it was popular with tourists, but evidently not with locals.
"It's like this game you see at amusement parks, where woodpeckers pop up and you have to try to club them," he said. "It isn't meant to be taken too seriously."
In another incident late last month, the NK department store was embarrassed when a mechanical display featuring a rabbit broke, and complaints suddenly poured in that the rabbit appeared to sexually pleasuring itself.
The display was dismantled within minutes, the newspaper said.
Sex Files 2007: The most stimulating health stories
The year 2007 contained plenty of eye-opening news about sex, with
juicy, never-before looked-at details about who is doing it and why. It
also contained some rather frightening news about sex trends, pills and
vaccines. And then there were a few of those "Did someone actually
spend money to fund that study?!" kind of studies.
There were lots more stories in the world of sexual health and
not-so-healthy sex than this list could fit, but here's a compendium of
our favourites.
The 'Who knew?' file
Many of us were surprised to learn this past May that the human
papillomavirus -- HPV, the virus that is blamed for almost all cases of
cervical cancer -- can also be transmitted during oral sex. Researchers
reported in the New England Journal of Medicine that the virus is a key
cause of a growing rate of oropharyngeal (throat) cancer.
The study found that participants who reported having oral sex --
fellatio or cunnilingus -- with six or more partners were at the
highest risk of developing throat cancer -- 8.6 times more likely.
What isn't clear is whether getting the HPV vaccine will help
prevent oral cancer as well as it appears to prevent cervical cancer.
Also in the "who knew?" file, was a report in the NEJM in August
that found that a lot more seniors have sex than likely any of us
suspected.
The survey of more than 3,000 U.S. men and women found that more
than a quarter of those up to age 85 reported having sex in the
previous year.
The study did find that sex, and interest in it, fall off as people
age. But the drop-off had a lot to do with a lack of a partner,
especially for women. By the time they were 75 to 85, only 37 per cent
of women had spouses (compared to 71 per cent of men).
The study also found that older people often have trouble with sex
(such as erection and vaginal dryness problems) and that many hadn't
talked to their doctor about it. But some must have gone to see their
doctors because the survey also found that one out of seven men used
Viagra or other substances to improve sex.
After exhaustively compiling for five years a list of the 237
reasons why people have sex, researchers came to the not-too-surprising
conclusion that young men and women do the "horizontal hula" for pretty
much the same reason: lust.
According to a peer-reviewed study in the August edition of Archives
of Sexual Behavior, men and women share 20 of the top 25 reasons for
having sex. While "expressing love" and "showing affection" were on the
list for both men and women, they both took a back seat to the clear
No. 1: "I was attracted to the person."
The authors noted that their study was conducted only among college
students, when "hormones run rampant.'' They expect there would be
marked differences if older groups of people were studied.
Other stories this year that made us say "Well, duh!" included a
study by Ontario researchers that found that men who spend a lot of
time on the Internet are much more likely to click on sexually explicit
spam, unsolicited email, and pop-ups advertising sex sites.
The results of the study "suggest that males were very receptive to
receiving this kind of material," the authors said, and that women
showed little interest in online sexual content.
The authors speculated that those who spend a lot of time online may
become desensitized to the content of such spam over time and this, in
turn, may make them curious enough to explore the sites further.
The study generated a good deal of response from CTV.ca readers with
one reader named "Steve" wondering: "I would like to know how much
public money was spent funding this study, whose conclusions are
something any 14-year-old in puberty could have told you."
Two reports this summer from the Sex Information and Education
Council of Canada contained both good news and bad about teen sex.
One study found that teen pregnancy and abortion rates in Canada are
at their lowest in more than a decade, dropping from 49.2 pregnancies
per 1,000 in 1994 to 32.1 in 2003. But another study found an
increasing rate of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), that include
chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, human papillomavirus (HPV) and HIV. The
chlamydia rate, for example, rose from 1,095 infections per 100,000 in
1991 to 1,379 in 2002.
Experts speculate that serial monogamy may be to blame. SIEC
research co-ordinator Alex McKay says younger teens take safe sex very
seriously. It's when teens get older and involved in more serious
relationships that condoms are replaced with birth-control pills. And
Stephanie Sersli, manager executive services at Options for Sexual
Health in Vancouver, noted that once teens use oral contraception, they
fail to get regularly tested for STIs.
Among other scary sex news this year was a warning in the Canadian
Medical Association Journal from a group of Canadian public health
professionals who insisted that the universal HPV vaccination program
in Canada "is premature and could have unintended negative
consequences."
They noted that there are many gaps in knowledge about the vaccine,
including questions about how long the vaccine will be effective;
whether a booster shot will be needed in later years; and questions
about the effectiveness of the vaccine when given at the same time as
other immunizations.
They noted that relatively few girls aged 9 to 15 years were
enrolled in the clinical trials of the vaccine, even though that's the
age group that will be the priority target population for vaccination.
The editorial opened up a debate that continued all year and likely will for some to come.
And lastly among the scary sex health news this year were a number
of recalls of so-called herbal remedies for erectile dysfunction and
sexual enhancement.
Although the pills promised a blend of rare Asian ingredients, many
actually contained unregulated versions of the very prescription
medications they are supposed to replace.
The pills pose a serious danger to men on common heart and
blood-pressure drugs called nitrates. Popping one of the pills could
lead to a stroke, or even death because the combination of the nitrates
and the pharmaceuticals can slow blood flow catastrophically.
Health Canada also released warnings about dozens of other so-called
Chinese medicine herbal products for other ailments such as joint pain
after the pills were found to contain undeclared prescription-strength
medication.
Hugh Hefner's girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson says the Playboy founder can no longer satisfy her sexually.
The 22-year-old Playmate, who is one of three of Hugh's live-in lovers, admits she has to rely on sex toys to fulfil her needs because the 81-year-old leaves her wanting more in the bedroom.
She said: "I'm 22 and still have my whole sex life ahead of me. I still have a lot of sex years ahead of me. But all girls need a vibrator!"
Kendra also confessed she is jealous of Hugh's relationship with his other girlfriend Holly Madison, and their growing closeness has left her and Hugh's third live-in lover, Bridget Marquardt, in a difficult position.
She told Britain's OK! magazine: "We all love Hef and everything, but we realise that things are starting to become more Hef and Holly. I'll be honest with you, it's kind of confusing to me how it's becoming more of Holly and Hef.
"I'm kind of confused with the way things are right now, and where we stand."
Americans Not Making Time For Making Love - No Wonder Less Than Half Find Sex Lives Exciting
Americans spend nearly three hours every week grooming themselves, but less than one hour on foreplay and sexual intercourse. No wonder only 46% of them describe their love lives as exciting.
And while there are several factors influencing sexual wellbeing, Americans seem to lack both quality and quantity.
On average, Americans spend 35 minutes on foreplay and sexual intercourse each session. Since Americans have sex once every 4.3 days, that averages out to about 57 minutes per week - about 14 minutes below the global average.
These findings are part of "In The Bedroom," the latest results from the 2007/2008 Durex® Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey, which takes an intimate peek behind bedroom doors around the world. "In The Bedroom" is the second major release of the five-part survey, building on its exploration into "Sexual Satisfaction," a report released in April 2007. Analysis of physical pleasure and sexual knowledge and education will be released over the next 14 months.
"Sexual Satisfaction," the first wave of the survey, revealed that Americans are having a lot less sex than just about everyone else in the world, and when they do, less than half are fully satisfied. On average, Americans have sex just 85 times a year (about once every 4.3 days) - well below the global average of 103 times (about once every 3.5 days), with only the Japanese (48 times), people in Hong Kong (82 times) and Nigerians (84 times) having less sex.
Key Findings About Americans Compared To The World
While Americans might be somewhat bored in bed, they have ideas about what they can do to improve their sex lives; most notably, less stressful lives (37%) and more romance (35%) top the list. Other key findings from the report include:
American men average 13 partners, which is:
- Ten less than Canadians (23)
- Three less than the British (16)
- One less than Mexicans (14)
- Equal to the global average (13)
American women average nine partners, which is:
- One less than Canadians (10)
- One less than the British (10)
- Three more than Mexicans (6)
- Two more than the global average (7)
Oral sex (69%) and sensual massage (62%) top the list of activities in the bedroom
More than four out of ten (42%) enjoy sexual fantasies and erotica (41%) to boost the libido
Older people still enjoy a variety of activities to keep passion alive, as more than 52% of those 55 or older give oral sex and 29% act out sexual fantasies
Globally, 48% of those 55 or older practice oral sex and more than a third (36%) act out sexual fantasies
We like to please ourselves: 88% of Americans have masturbated at some time
Globally, 83% of people have masturbated at some time
More than a third of Americans (34%) use vibrators and more than half (54%) use lubricants as part of their sex lives
That's far higher than the global figures of 21% and 34% respectively
Source: Durex
Pregnant Women Have the Best Sex, Better Orgasms
Few think “orgasmic”
when they look at a pregnant woman in all her budding — or bulging —
belly beauty. Yet pregnancy is amongst the most sensual, sexual times
in a woman’s life. Unbeknownst to most of us, pregnant women often top
the list of the lustfully libidinous, with many expectant mums
expressing increased sexual appetite and fervor, much to their
partner’s delight or bewilderment, with every ripening day.
Consider, after all, what’s
going on with the hot mama’s changing form. First, the hormones of her
time with child are blessing her with better skin and hair, making her feel more gorgeous than ever.
While
some women, especially the toilet-bound, feel anything but sexy during
their pregnancy, many are literally glowing from their expectancy, and
love their bodacious body as never before.
Second,
whether it’s her first or second trimester, some women experience
increased sexual urges, at levels exceeding pre-pregnancy. During the
second trimester in particular, many feel hot to trot for reasons far
beyond their control. The vulva seems to have a mind of its own. Mother
Nature is revving up a pregnant woman’s sex drive with increased
vaginal lubrication, larger breasts, and increased vasocongestion (the
flow of blood to the genitals) for heightened vulval sensitivity and a
swollen, often to the point of aching, clitoris. A woman is literally a
hot mama passion playground for her — and her partner — to enjoy.
Third, during pregnancy, a
woman’s dreams may increase and become more sexual in nature. Expectant
women have reported more erotic, physical, and varied dreams during
pregnancy, with a lighter sleep cycle making it easier to recall the
visions and her subsequent nocturnal orgasm(s). Sharing her
scintillating nightly visions with her partner can make for even more
sizzling real-life action, with many couples fascinated, turned on, and
even amused by the thoughts being conjured up during this time.
Given
her sexual metamorphosis, all of these changes add up to a much more
orgasmic woman! Between feeling sexier, increased genital blood flood,
greater vulval sensitivity, and unexpected fantasies, many women
experience their first orgasm or multiple orgasms during this time,
spontaneously or while love making. This increased ability to reach
climactic heights is why many couples work to put aside any discomfort
they have with the idea of sex during pregnancy.
Many
couples have also learned that sex is a way to stay renewed and
connected both physically and emotionally during pregnancy. This is
crucial given that research has found that while relationship
satisfaction tends to increase slightly during pregnancy, with many
couples feeling closer, mutual happiness tends to decrease post-birth,
with sexual intimacy the most vulnerable area. Couples who remain
intimate, in any of its forms, up through the third trimester, report
reconnecting more easily post-partum.
With
mother-to-be primed for better sex, many couples have some of their
most intense lovemaking experiences during pregnancy, surfacing from
the experience stronger than ever. Only Mother Nature could come up
with such a perfect plan.
For more information
on sex during pregnancy, check out Fulbright’s co-authored book, Your
Orgasmic Pregnancy: Little Sex Secrets Every Hot Mama Should Know.
I've seen the future of sex, and its name is
Robot — as in humanoids designed and programmed to satisfy our every
psychological and sexual need, want and desire. At least that's what
artificial-intelligence expert David Levy contends in his controversial
and troublingly arousing book about sexuality 50 years hence.
His prediction: Falling in love with and making
love to artificial but remarkably human-like robots will become a
socially accepted alternative.
Never thought of C-3PO as a sex slave? A roll in the hay with Arnold's ripped T-850 Terminator bot?
Hints of Stepford-wife lusting are foreplay in
an overly researched thesis that argues plausibly but way too
enthusiastically for stranger-than-fiction bedfellows. And you thought
Furby was just for fun?
The London-based author of the robot-industry primer
Robots Unlimited,
Levy insists this isn't sci-fi. He started this book as an oh-wow
academic conference paper, which explains why the first two-thirds
reads like an academic conference paper. He builds his argument
laboriously, citing endless psychological studies as evidence that
future humans and robots will find genuine companionship leading to
bliss between the sheets.
The book's smart look at the evolution of
robotics over the past century, arriving at today's lovable robot toys
and humanish servants, is fascinating, but Levy requires large leaps of
logic as he progresses through each step of his
attraction-desire-love-sex continuum.
Starting with the basic truth that people fall
in love with people, he moves to why people fall in love online, to why
people love their pets, to why people love inanimate objects, etc.
Then, why not people falling in love with robots? And, logically for
Levy, why not people having carnal knowledge of their robot — and vice
versa?
Whether you think that idea is creepy, amoral or
aesthetically icky, or you think it sounds like a rollicking good time,
if you don't buy it as the inevitable future, Levy considers you a
flat-Earther standing in the way of progress. After all, he suggests,
wouldn't an emotion-enabled, lovemaking robot programmed with the
sexual know-how of the
Kama Sutra be the most sophisticated sex doll ever?
Think robo-ho. Levy does. His argument for robot
sex goes way beyond the "dream girl" relationship Ryan Gosling's
character has with a blow-up sex doll in
Lars and the Real Girl. More like Jude Law's automaton gigolo in
A.I., only better.
But look, some people are willing to boink
anything. Is that a good thing? Levy predicts with tomorrow's sensual
robots it will be.
December 17, 2007
By Don Oldenburg, Special for USA TODAY
The Reasons Behind the Sex Toys Craze
If you key in the words Sex Toys on any search engine on the
Internet, it will give you thousands of results. Starting from blogs
discussing the use of toys, websites primarily reviewing the newest
gadgets around, to online stores selling their sexual wares, the
Internet is full of information about toys.
Thousands of websites offer sex toys on the Internet, ready to be
delivered at the click of a button right at your door step. This is the
age of the Internet after all. Sex toys have increasingly become
popular over the years. It may be because the sexual tastes and desires
of people have evolved. It could also be because of the hype from adult
movies.
Whatever the reason may be, the toy industry has become an overnight billion dollar empire to be reckoned with.
One may be surprised to note the large numbers of people that have
indulged in toys to enhance sexual pleasure for masturbation as well as
for intercourse with a partner. Many people are avid collector of all
kinds of toys that the markets have to offer. Sharing these toys with
friends and partners makes some people feel that they have an edge over
the others. Such toys can make one feel responsible for one’s own
pleasure, as well as have a claim on the pleasure of one’s partner.
Overall, toys have become rapidly popular because they fulfill the
sexual need of many people. It does not have to be because of a
partner’s inadequacy; it could simply be a way to satisfy deep
yearnings.
Sex Toys Spice Up Intercourse
Though many perceive that toys are meant for solo sex, a lot of couples
use such toys to enhance foreplay and the sexual experience. Sex toys
help people to do certain things that they might not otherwise be able
to. Some vibrators could manage to provide the perfect clitoral
stimulation while there may be penis rings that prolong erections for
more sexual pleasure.
Many once-floundering couples say that sex toys changed their lives
when they started being used to prop up the relationship. The toy has
often been credited with improving relations between couples. What once
was a dull sex life turned into steamy bed scenes when pleasure tools
came into the picture.
Sex Toys Set the Atmosphere
The toy makes foreplay more pleasurable. It warms up both partners,
readying them for the act itself. It can set the mood for wild and
exiting sex. Introducing toys can ignite one’s imagination and can set
the mood for a great sexual experience with one’s partner.
Sex Toys Help You Break Out of a Routine
Sex toys help couples or singles to break out from the usual. Normal
masturbation through clitoral stimulation with the fingers has become
almost obsolete, thanks to the introduction of multifunction vibrators.
Dolls, masturbation sheaths and fake vaginas allow men and women to
vividly simulate intercourse at any time.
Sex toys have become the answer to the many quests that couples make to find the secret to the ultimate love making.
Stress Kills Sex: Too Much Work Can Lead to Too Little Play
You're
locked in an embrace with your lover but, for all intents and purposes,
you're miles away. You hope your mate won't notice, then instantly feel
guilty about it. All you need is more to stress over.
With things
crazy at the office, bills, the kids' schedules, and no time for the
gym or dates with your sweetie, these days you feel like a penniless
promotion-chasing automaton in the marshmallow body of a neutered
chauffeur.
To make matters worse, the distraction factory of your
neurotic brain has hijacked your precious libido, and in this age of
chronic stress it feels like the ransom may be too high.
"Stress
is the trash of modern life - we all generate it, but if you don't
dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life," said
the oft-quoted philosopher Danze Pace.
Stress can wreak havoc on body, mind and spirit, so it's no wonder it can also complicate, or even decimate, one's sex life.
"Even
though you're making love, you may not be in the Zen of it. You're
thinking about the 12 things on your list ... groceries, laundry, work,
the kids ... you're not in the moment," says professor Sandra Byers, a
sex therapist and chair of the department of psychology at the
University of New Brunswick.
Such mental clutter can interfere
with desire, arousal and the quality of sex you're having, which can
cause a downward spiral, says Byers.
"If you're making love in
conditions that aren't good for you - ie. it's not enjoyable, you're
just not into it or you feel coerced - it may make you less interested
in having sex the next time," she says.
Stress is a psychological event, Byers adds. And the biggest sex organ is the brain.
"Not
that stress doesn't have a physiological impact, but it's my inability
to cope that makes it stressful. It's very subjective. A high-stress
job won't necessarily have a negative impact on one's sex life. It may
even charge you up," she says.
On the flip side, anxiety can make it impossible to relax and get into the mood.
Anxiety
causes the release of fight-or-flight hormone cortisol, which halts the
relaxation response necessary for the early stages of arousal.
Anxiety
constricts blood vessels, including those to the genitals, and can lead
to lack of arousal in women, and erectile disturbances in men, says
Toronto sex therapist Wendy Trainor.
"Being sexual is one of the
ways adults play together. When one or both parties don't feel like
having sex, because they're too busy, tired or worried about
performance, they may avoid being affectionate with each other for fear
it will lead to sex," says Trainor. "Gradually, they will become more
distant from one another."
Dr. Chris Van Vuuren of Jasper Avenue
Medical Clinic in Edmonton says he sees younger men regularly who are
experiencing erectile dysfunction due to stress or relationship
problems.
"I prescribe Viagra, Levitra or Cialis as confidence
boosters, and after a while they usually don't need it," says Van
Vuuren, adding that sometimes couples therapy is a good complement.
Trainor says it's important for couples to make their relationship a priority despite life's daily pressures.
"They
need to schedule time for each other: date night, afternoons where they
get a babysitter or ask a relative to take the kids for a few hours, or
using the kids' 'nap time' as downtime for themselves," she says.
Women
aged 18 to 81 listed over 300 things that could affect their sexual
response in a 2004 study by the Kinsey Institute. Some key stressors
were work, children and body image.
"Women, in particular, are
extremely vulnerable to having stress impact their sex life," says Dr.
Robin Milhausen, a sex expert from the University of Guelph who worked
on the study, and a former host of the Life Network show "Sex, Toys
& Chocolate."
"Men's arousal appeared to be more robust.
They're bothered to a lesser degree and were able to put aside thoughts
and worries of the day more easily than women," says Milhausen, adding
that women still bear the burden of a dual-income household, juggling
family, relationship and job to the point that sexual desire suffers.
"Anything men can do for their partners to share this burden will benefit the sexual relationship for both partners," she says.
Exercise is known to lower stress hormones, so why not squeeze a workout in 30 minutes before you plan to get horizontal.
And men, remember to slow down.
"Men
can be engorged and ready to go very quickly, but it can take 20
minutes or more for women to reach peak sexual arousal. Men need to be
aware that we move at a different pace," says Milhausen.
Take
some time to recharge your batteries together before expecting the
sparks to fly. A sensual massage or a shared bath can go a long way
towards decompressing from the day while putting you both in the mood.
Even if you don't get busy all the time, who cares? Sometimes not being
busy is the whole point.
Jennifer Parks, CanWest News Service; Edmonton Journal
Published: Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Edmonton Journal
Katie Morgan on Sex Toys
HBO's "Katie Morgan on Sex Toys" -- Porn star Katie Morgan hosts this 27-minute documentary on the history -- and future -- of sex toys. Morgan, who emcees the show completely naked (and is completely open about her surgically augmented breasts), takes viewers on a juicy journey from one of the first adult toys -- a gourd full of buzzing bees invented by Cleopatra -- to modern, battery-operated machines in the shape of a lipstick, Hello Kitty and the Virgin Mary. The show is campy and funny -- as well as educational -- with Morgan masterfully playing the role of a dumb blond who's clearly not really dumb or blond. Catch this show on HBO2 all this month. I recommend watching it with a stiff drink. -- Molly Snyder Edler, of onmilwaukee.com
Sex Toy Reviewer
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Earthday
Greetings! I hope everyone had a wonderful Earth Day! Recently we introduced a new section in our store: Green Toys. Go check out our selection of Eco-Friendly Sex Toys!
Porn industry events definitely draw the guys
This guy's nickname was Moe. He and his computer chip-engineer buddies stood in the hallway at Mandalay Bay, ogling porn starlets as they paraded into the Adult Video News Awards with their hanging-out cabooses in see-through "dresses."