HIMEKA in JAPAN

I was very upset tonight, so I decided I’d take a walk.
2:30 hours. Fast walking. My legs were very tired afterwards.
Good shower.
Now sleep time.

I need to stop upsetting myself over things that I have no control over.
Everyone has their own opinion. No matter how I act, kind or angry, there will always be people who will take the time to insult you anyway.

Goodnight all.
Despite the bad things, I’m grateful I have also a lot of nice people cheering me on.
Thank you.

今夜気持ちはあまりよくなったから、お散歩しました。
２：３０時間ぐらい早く歩きました。
足は痛いけど、少し元気になりました。
シャワー浴びて、今寝る時間ですね～

コントロール出来ないことを考えずに行きます。
だって、しょうがないですよね。。。
元気だしても、怒っても、誰かがいつも私を悪いにするから、もうあまり考えたくないです。
頑張りますから、いずれ何かいいことがきっと来るはずでしょう。

優しい人も私のことを応援し続けるから、感謝しています。
ありがとうございます。
おやすみなさい～

-HIMEKA

Thank you Misao for the information.

http://www.myspace.com/himekachan <—- impersonator

I don’t mind if people kept my old mp3s for themselves, but of course I can’t approve of someone posting them on a public site, much less approve of them pretending it’s their own.

I am very sad and unhappy someone did this. It’s not the first time. I know it happens to a lot of people though.

I just want to say this : I think instead of stealing other people’s properties and pretending it’s your own, maybe you should start trying to do something with your own abilities. In my opinion, you will get a lot more satisfaction for doing something yourself and not being praised for what someone else did.
I sent her a message and to MySpace as well, I’m not sure if it’s going to change anything, but I hope that she stops. If you see this, whoever you are, please stop using my mp3s. Thank you.

Edit : On top of that, she copy/pasted Mis’s youtube profile introduction…. :

http://jp.youtube.com/user/mistressu

And stole the song Nano wrote for me :

http://xoxonano.soragoto.net/NANO/MUSIC/MUSIC.html (3rd song from the bottom)

I wouldn’t be surprised if she stole the picture too…. I wonder who’s picture it is… ^^;;;

-HIMEKA

Before I go onto the main topic, I wanted to say one thing :

A few days ago, a foreign person (possibly American?) posted a video of me from AX a few years back.
This person knows about my blog because they linked to it.

I think in all due respect, the natural thing to do would be to ask permission before posting other people’s things. But even my comments about it on the video got ignored and deleted.

I can’t help but say that I’m very sad and upset about it.
I understand that things related to my debut will become public, but I would appreciate if you would leave my past alone (for example : my past mp3s/videos and others). I am not approving of people distributing these old things on public sites.

I can’t believe that someone who’d call themselves a supporter would do this.

I know you are reading this blog, anonymous person. And I would appreciate if you would delete the said video. I think that if you truly support me, you’ll understand my feelings. Thank you for your understanding.

Okay, now with that said, I will move on to the main topic :

I feel very guilty for not even updating about the last event…but it’s almost been 2 weeks so I don’t remember most of what I wanted to write about.

Please forgive me. T_T I’ll do my best to make a quick resume now.

So I took the Shinkansen to Osaka on the 29th of november. It was so cold and stormy outside.
I didn’t bring my computer, so my suitcase was much lighter than usual though!
The day of the event was sunny.

It was fun seeing the staff people again, Kita-san and Hikari-chan.
Everyone is so nice.

We had a beautiful view of the sea from the waiting room.
We even saw some cosplayers from up there. *hehe* <3

The stage we performed at was a more open space than the 2 other events.
I’m sorry….I wanted to ask someone from the staff to take a picture when I was on stage….but I forgot. ^^;

Hikari-chan sang her favorite ‘Blue Bird’ song.
She was so cute that day!! She was even wearing a hat.
Somehow, it’s like I have a little sister now!! (I wish I had one….;_;)
Don’t you think we look alike??!! Haha. Just kidding. I *wish* I was that cute.
I hope she can do something fun in the future. Looking forward to it!

Then I sang ‘Eternal Blaze’. I know I did better than I did at the Tokyo semi-finals with that song…but…
I think I must give up on singing that song.
I think regular people can’t put their finger on it but… the truth is, my range doesn’t go very low. Most normal people can sing that low (it’s not THAT low), but I can’t. My range is short. So even if I sing with all I can, the sound won’t come out stronger on my lowest range. =_= That’s why I often raise the pitch of songs…..
Oh well. I really did my best. I hope the people weren’t too disappointed…
Nana-san is really too great for me to sing her songs after all. *_*

Then Kita-san sang the two theme songs from his singles (Persona OP, Natsume Yuujinchou OP).
I’m really envious. He sings so well live. I really can’t wait to hear what he’ll do next!
He’s really good at singing all sorts of songs!!
He’s participating in an event in a few weeks, but I don’t have money to go… T_T moo…
There’s a bunch of other anime singers in the event too!!! >_< not faaaairrr. *sighs*
Another time maybe…. I’m even lucky I bought a ticket for Mizuki Nana’s concert, so.

We had to leave right after the event.
I felt sad to part with everyone.
It’s not for sure yet, but I was told our next event together might be in march 2009.
That seems far away…. But I’m grateful I was able to meet everyone.
Thank you so much for the good time, and for giving me a chance to get a bit more stage experience.

I’m sorry for not being able to give out more information on my debut yet.

I’m hoping that information will be made public around january/february.
So please wait until then!!!
I’ll make sure to let you know here as well.

I’m sorry I am not making a short japanese report this time…
It really took me all my energy to even type this in english. T_T
I thought if I don’t post about it, I probably wouldn’t post anymore anyway, so I forced myself to.

I’m really sorry for my lack of energy…
See you soon~

-HIMEKA

I’d just like to apologize for not even posting anything about last weekend’s event.
I don’t want to sound full of excuses, but I did get sick again after I got back. Things are better now though, but I haven’t been feeling at my best emotionally, again. Nothing dramatic, but I’m just very…tired. That sort of thing. I don’t have much energy to indulge myself in anything.

I’m a bit angry at myself for being so weak-willed too. I tell myself ‘okay, I will do a bit of this everyday, to be steady and progress’ and yet, none of the things I decide last for more than a day or two. Even tonight, I’m still not asleep, it’s 3am and I couldn’t resist the urge to go to the convenience store to buy chocolate….

I have to get up in a few hours for work (a new person left at my job so my boss needed me to fill in the gaps after all), but I hope I’ll find the energy to update my blog properly in the next few days.

T_T …why am I so tired…
Probably because I’m about to hibernate…………..lol just kidding.

I’m so sorry.
*begs for forgiveness*

Been busy and not busy at the same time.

Bad news : I don’t really have a job anymore. I’m not fired, but I will only be called occasionally for replacement. So I’m looking for a new job now. But I’m very grateful for being able to survive these past 4 months at this place. Thank you.

So I have to find a job quickly otherwise next month, I’m really living in a tent… Unless I find some sort of solution. Please keep me in your prayers.

Bad : The other day, I lost my wallet. I even went to the police station to write a report. I thought I’d have to get all my card remade…

Good : It was found. Thank you, Yuki.

Bad : The shower’s hot water didn’t work that day…. again (it happens once a month. cold showers. yay.)

Bad/Good : I suddenly got crazy spam mail on my cell the other day. For about 2 days in a row. For a total of approximately 200. I’m not kidding. I was going to change my address, but for some reason, it stopped today.

Bad : I made time to go see someone’s event tonight. Yet, even though I properly looked up the address/map on google and market it down, I never found the place. I walked for about an hour and even asked around and still couldn’t find it and gave up.

Good : It made me do some walking/exercise.

Bad/Good : I had a cold for a week. I was worried it would drag on, but it’s gone now. I couldn’t practice my singing in the meantime, so now I have to catch up!!

Good : I went to karaoke for practice this afternoon. 3 hours. I was so rusty. Even just one week without practicing and it seems like I have to start all over again. What an amateur. >_<

Bad : My digital camera is still not fixed yet. T_T

Bad : A japanese friend of mine (that I met back in Montreal) who lives in Kobe was thinking of coming to watch me perform at the event, but I just learned that I have to go back to Tokyo right after. T_T I really wanted to see her. I didn’t see her in a long time! Next time, hopefully…. ;_;

I’m leaving for Osaka once again, tomorrow afternoon.
Since I took 3 extra hours to go out for the event that I never found the place of, I delayed my packing up, laundry, ironing, etc. But I still managed to do a lot of things.

I decided I won’t bring my computer this time. My suitcase is always so heavy to carry around. Plus, taking a little break from it might do me some good. Honestly.

Thank you everyone, for the constant encouragements.
I’m sorry I’m not very responsive…. I really need to go to bed….but I just wanted to say thank you. I’ll keep doing my best and try to improve as a singer, but also as a human being. Please be patient with me!! <3

みんなのコメントについて、本当に感謝しています。
返事しなくてごめんなさい。でも全部読みますから、安心して下さい。：）
とても嬉しくて、これからも頑張ります！！
デビューはまだですけど、とりあえず日本語の独学とか色々なことにも頑張ります～
みんなの応援のお陰で、どんどん強くなって、勇気をありがとうございます！！
じゃあ、明日は大阪に行きます。今回、パソコンを持って来ないと思います。。。。だってさ、荷物は多くて、凄く重いですYO!!　(笑）

わざわざでこのブログに来てくれて、ありがとう、本当に感動しました。　：）　嬉しいです。

Bonne nuit.

-HIMEKA

We’re done with the event!!
Even though I was feeling nervous as always, it was another great experience.
I’m grateful.
Everytime before the event, I always feel down but…in the end, I get happier when I’m done.

We’re having a gathering tonight and we’ll watch the finals of the contest together.
It looks like it’s airing at 9pm on the animax channel.
I’ve been worried about this day since a while back…but even more since I saw parts of the show from the copy I got… Of course I think hearing myself raw from the sound system didn’t make me happy. I think I sounded very bad….and I looked stupid and sounded stupid when I talked but… there’s nothing I can do about it. So I’ll do my best to bear with it.

I have to do my best to improve on a lot of different things from now on, even if I don’t really know *how* I’m going to do it.

Anyway, I’m sleeping in Fukuoka again tonight and returning to Tokyo tomorrow.
So I’ll either update tonight after the gathering, or tomorrow when I return from Tokyo. Hopefully I won’t be too lazy to do it!!

*hugs to everyone*

-HIMEKA

It’s already 1:30am.
I’m flying to Fukuoka tomorrow (now today?) for another event on the 16th.
I still haven’t packed anything yet, so I have to get up early to do that.
My throat still hasn’t recovered. I went to practice singing after work today, but it really didn’t sound good. I just hope this doesn’t evolve into a bad cold though. I cross my fingers that it will only die out as this throat ache.

My camera is still at the shop waiting to get fixed, so I’m a bit disappointed I won’t have it with me to take pictures….Oh well! My cell phone is better than nothing! It can still take pictures.

I wish I was feeling emotionally better.
It’s like I can’t see anything ahead of me.
I wasn’t capable of doing my pre-event diet either…
I just easily give in to eating chocolate and other bad things…
*sigh*

I feel so worthless sometimes…

-HIMEKA

P.S.: I’m tired of smelling my roommates’ repeated farting. Honestly.

I got a coat today. It was a priority if I don’t want to die this winter.

But today was actually very warm. It felt like a day of september.

It seems like Yuki was heading towards the mall too, so we ended up meeting in the mid-afternoon.
Then it was Nano’s live performance. It’s been a while since I saw her perform. She did awesome. My ears were happy. I wanted to take a picture, but my camera is still at Yodobashi (an electronic store) where I left it for repair. My cell………..I always tried to figure out how to make a focus…but I never found how. >_< When I got home, I just HAD to figure it out for next time. And I did. But wow…it’s so complicated. Geez. But I did it!! *coughs* anyway. So yeah… She performed 4 songs to open the show (several bands were gonna perform tonight). Including her most recent one. Nano and her guitar make a great team.

Yuki performed at an open mic last week and I went with her to watch. I wanted to make a video but that’s when I broke my camera….lol. Such bad timing. I think even though she can sing pretty loud, I prefer when she sings softly. It’s a good feeling.

Lisa surprisingly sent me an mp3 recording of a cover song. I just listened to it now as I got home. I haven’t replied to her yet. But wow. She’s working at improving at singing loudly. o_o I was really surprised. I *knew* she’s been hiding power somewhere inside, she just wasn’t aware of it. I hope from now on, she’ll keep aiming towards new goals like that. Go Lisa!!! I’m proud of you!

Oh yeah… Saku posted a new song too the other day. I didn’t say anything to her, but I really think she has the type of singing that fits those really pop-ish songs. I think she has a lot of ability there.

Ah. Why am I talking about people’s singing tonight?
Hehe.

I have the beginning of a cold. Since 3 days ago. At this point it’s just a throat ache, so I hope it will just go away and not evolve. I’m doing my best to rest and drink a lot of orange juice??!

I recently decided to watch Utawarerumono.
And I just finished the other night.
Waaaah.
The story is very centered around war, so if you think you can bear seeing a few cut arms and arrows piercing people…lol…
No, seriously. It’s pretty violent but…
The story behind the characters is interesting.
I guess it’s one of those series where you get really attached to the characters as they evolve and get closer together.
And well, I already knew this, but they play Suara’s song ‘Kimi ga tame’ around the end of the last episode.
I loved that song so much, but now I love it even more. T_T

A little while back, I watched Kino no Tabi too. Another series that left me really ‘…waaaah. I want more episodes’ sort of feeling. It’s the kind of story that makes you ponder about a lot of things.
And how foolish people can be sometimes. It was so interesting.

Thank you for the support, as always.
I’m sorry if I’m too whiny.

-HIMEKA